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Naim thinks it's been about a week since he found Ryan at the bus station and they finally got away together.
They spent two nights in a motel with what little money they had, three in a shelter, one huddled up on a park bench, and one in the back of a bus, sleeping through bumps and jitters.
Naim doesn't think he's ever been to this city before, but it's big --- he's not sure of the name, and the hunger fogging his brain isn't making it any easier to remember. He and Ryan had walked through it all day, to the edges of it, until their feet were aching. It's there that they stopped in some chain convenience store and shushed each other's nervous giggles as they shoved snacks and drinks into Ryan's backpack before they sidled out of the store as casually as they could.
Once they were out of sight of the cashier, they ran, even though they really didn't have to. They ran into the foundations of a neighbourhood they had found on the outskirts of the town, all the houses still under construction, huffing and shoving into a house a couple rows down from the entrance to the subdivision.
They had stumbled up the stairs to what will probably soon be the master bedroom, squeezing together into the far right corner of the room and pulling out the blanket that they had taken from the shelter, along with their stolen goods.
Naim watches Ryan as he stuffs another chip into his mouth, scrunching up his nose. "You're gross." He murmurs, squeezing his eyes shut and shaking his head.
He peeks his eyes open again when he feels Ryan's cold nose press against his neck. "You like me," pressing his crumby mouth against Naim's skin before he gets promptly shoved off.
Naim wipes at his throat, laughing breathlessly. "Not that much."
Ryan lets himself fall back against the wall, grinning easily, as if there was nothing to be scared of at all. He reaches for the bottle of water they had cracked open, taking a long sip and using the back of his hand to wipe the moisture off his mouth when he's through. Naim watches him closely, eyes tracking the bob of his Adam's apple and the plushness of his lips.
Ryan watches Naim, too, for a moment, before he's moving carefully forward and pressing their lips together. He tastes like the candy he had insisted they get and salt as Naim curls his fingers around the back of his head, sighing into the warmth of his body. Naim pulls back after a beat, feeling Ryan wipe the spit on his bottom lip with his thumb as his eyes slowly open. Naim can't help the chuckle that escapes him as their eyes meet, and Ryan returns it softly, leaning into Naim as he moves to press his head against the side of Ryan's.
Ryan's nose drags across Naim's throat as he moves to awkwardly contort until he can comfortably lay his head in Naim's lap, and Naim's hands hover in their air for a moment before haltingly falling to rest in Ryan's hair, slide his fingers across the bridge of his nose and the delicate skin of his under eye.
They don't speak for a while, then, and Naim watches his own fingers slide and curl through Ryan's hair, brush over what he can see of the blond's profile. "With Hunter," he finds himself saying, though he wasn't even sure that he was ready to broach the topic. "What did you...?" He tries not to let his hands show his hesitation, scratching leisurely at Ryan's scalp.
Ryan freezes for a moment, before blowing out a slow stream of air. He doesn't reply for a long moment, turning his face to press it into Naim's lap, hiding. Naim doesn't push, pulling his fingers away from the smooth skin of his face to rest on the back of his neck.
Ryan clears his throat just when Naim is sure he'll ignore the question all together. "Not-- much. You know." Naim can feel him rubbing his face against the softness of his worn jeans. "Like... A handjob. Twice. He blew me once."
Naim tries to ignore the roil of jealousy in his gut at the thought of Hunter having Ryan in ways he hasn't, followed by a wave of shame at thinking of the dead in such a way. "Right." Naim mumbles, wincing at the crack in his voice.
Ryan pulls his face away from his hiding a little, and Naim can hear him swallow. "I don't... I mean. I'm really not all that... You know. Experienced."
Naim huffs out a breath. "Well, more than me." He says, and he knows it's a little bitter, but he can't help it.
Ryan doesn't answer for a long time, and Naim can feel the tick of his jaw against his thigh, but he won't apologize for it. "I knew him longer than I knew you." Ryan says, a little short.
"Besides," he adds after his words have hung in the air. "I'll definitely have more time with you than him, now."
Naim lets the words sting, lets the pressure behind his eyes build before he blinks it away, his hands stilling on Ryan. "Sorry," He mumbles, acquiescing for both of their sakes. He feels Ryan relax in his lap, marginally.
"Me too." Ryan's voice is low and a little rumbly, the way it gets when he feels like he's keeping a secret. Naim's fingers pick up their patterns again.
"Reckon I'd rather it with you, anyway," Ryan says after a moment, tilting his head to look at Naim from the corner of his eye.
Naim can't help the grin that pulls at his lips, and he knows he probably looks sickeningly fond at Ryan's successful attempts to change the topic. "Yeah?" He breathes in reply, tracing his thumb against the edge of Ryan's eyebrow.
Ryan's eyes slip shut, the corners of his mouth tilting up. "Yeah. Think I always felt that way." Naim's breath stutters a little at the confession, but he doesn't say anything, his thumb sliding down the kind slope of his cheekbone to the soft curve of his lips. "Have you thought about it?"
Naim splutters for a moment, not expecting the question, and he can hear Ryan laughing as he covers his suddenly warm face with his hands. "I-- yes, obviously, you cunt." He hisses, though he's smiling now, too.
Ryan calms down after a moment, though he's still grinning, rolling to lay on his back instead of his side, looking up at Naim. His hands are resting on his chest, like he's delicate, like he's not the strongest person Naim knows. Naim can't help but trace his knuckles along the side of Ryan's jaw. "How do you figure you'd like to...?" Ryan talks slowly, like he's testing the waters.
Naim watches him for a second, his brows furrowing. "I'd like to... what?" He mimics Ryan's slow tone, a bit teasing, his fingers and thumb framing either side of Ryan's mouth as he holds his chin.
Ryan puffs and chuckles, looking away, a little blush staining his cheeks. "You're so--" he scrunches up his face for a moment before looking Naim in the eyes again. "If we ever went all the way, dickhead."
Naim finds himself stunned into silence again, but this time Ryan doesn't burst into laughter like he expected, just staring up at him with pink cheeks and a short, muffled giggle.
Naim looks up at the ceiling for a moment, knocking the back of his head against the wall behind them as he gathers his thoughts. He can feel Ryan moving to rub his lips against the side of Naim's finger, pressing a chaste kiss to the webbing between his thumb and index.
He allows his chin to fall back down, narrowing his eyes at Ryan. "I don't know. I didn't really think about it that hard. I thought more about---" he shrugs. "Other stuff."
This makes Ryan laugh again, a real one, and Naim shakes his head incredulously. "You're an asshole. What do you think about?" He demands, and watches as Ryan's laughs slowly teeter off until he's just smiling sweetly up at Naim.
He tilts his head again so Naim's watching his profile, looking at the wall opposite them. "I'd want you inside me, prob'ly,"
Naim feels like all the air has been punched out of him as soon as he registers the words, blinking rapidly to try and clear the sudden dizziness arising in his head. Ryan's tone was so casual, but there was a little wobble in it that told Naim he was more nervous about the admission than he's letting on.
"Oh," Naim whispers, his hand sliding to rest on Ryan's chest.
Ryan doesn't reply but Naim can see the redness rising in his face at the silence that follows. Ryan moves to sit up but Naim stops him from moving too far away, fingers tangled in the front of his shirt.
"It's alright if you don't like that," Ryan says, and his eyes are glistening with nerves in the low light that the moon is shining into the room.
Naim is shaking his head before Ryan is even done speaking. "No, no," he shifts forward, nudging his nose against Ryan's jaw. "I was just surprised. I like it." He whispers against the skin of Ryan's throat.
He hears Ryan let out a breath and his hand comes up to slide his fingers against Naim's ear and jaw, pushing him back with a grip on the top of his neck to look at him. "Yeah?" He mumbles when their eyes meet, a shy smile ghosting across his lips.
Naim nods, his gaze falling to Ryan's lips. "Yeah." He leans in, pressing their lips together and relishing in the way Ryan melts into the touch.
Naim watches Ryan collapse onto the rented bed with a dramatic sigh, stretching out all his limbs like a starfish before relaxing again. Naim chuckles at the display as he places down their backpack in the corner of the room, by the door.
With Naim's tutoring and Ryan's successes at doing little jobs here and there, they had managed to scrounge up enough money to convince a family-owned b&b to let them stay for a while. It helped when they told their sob story, and they could see the owner's eyes softening. They managed to get it at a (considerably) lowered rate, for that.
Naim walks over to the bed and places himself against the headboard next to Ryan, closing his eyes and soaking in the silence.
"You want a durrie?" Ryan says, breaking Naim's dreamy quiet, and he looks over at the blond with furrowed brows.
"We're not allowed to smoke in here." But he doesn't stop Ryan from digging around in his pocket until he's uncovered the crumbled box of cigarettes they'd snatched.
Ryan looks to Naim, and then to the window, and then pointedly back to Naim, as he places a smoke between his lips.
Naim rolls his eyes, but nods. "If they catch us, or something, I'm blaming you." He says as they sidle up towards the window and Naim watches Ryan's muscles flex as he pushes up the lower sash that seemingly hasn't been touched in years. It's an old window, sort of close to the floor, and Ryan sits on the ledge of it when the sliding section is properly secured.
Naim hesitantly sits across from him and tries not to wince as Ryan hangs one of his legs out of the window, his heel kicking against the siding of the house.
Ryan holds his hand out to Naim and Naim promptly provides a lighter, one of the many they had taken to stashing on them at all times. Naim watches fondly as Ryan struggles to light the cigarette against the cool breeze of the night, the luminescence of the moon shining against his pale skin. Once the flame has caught, he tucks the lighter into his sweater pocket, taking a long drag of the smoke before handing it to Naim. Naim takes it gratefully, bringing it to his lips to inhale it slowly. He exhales the smoke out the window before looking back into their room.
"It's not bad, all considered." He says lightly, looking back to Ryan, who juts out his chin in request. Naim chuckles and leans forward to press the cigarette between his lips, watching his cheeks hollow as he sucks on it.
Ryan nods as he exhales, not completely out of the room. "I reckon we did pretty well." He mumbles through a sly smile, taking the dart from between Naim's fingers to take another drag of it. Naim watches as he pulls the filter away from his lips and pulls Naim in, fitting their open mouths together and letting the smoke slither between them as their tongues meet.
When they pull away, there's smoke in their breaths as they catch it before Ryan's tossing the cigarette out the window and catching Naim's mouth with his again before he can protest. Ryan's hands move to grip at Naim's hair and face, thumb sliding to the corner of his mouth to feel the movement there. Naim moves to grab Ryan's waist, tilting his head to deepen the kiss until their noses are pressed into each other's cheeks and he slides one hand down to hold Ryan's thigh and pull it back over into the room instead of dangling off the edge.
Ryan huffs into his mouth at the motion but doesn't resist, moving closer to Naim so he can get his hands on his shoulders, his biceps, squeeze the flesh there. Naim groans and gets both his hands on Ryan's waist, pulling him closer and closer until they are pressed thigh-to-thigh. Ryan pulls away and drags Naim with him towards the bed as he stands, grinning at Naim broadly.
Naim follows him with a dopey smile on his face, straddling Ryan's hips as he sits on the edge of the bed. Naim licks at Ryan's bottom lip, and then his jaw, sucking a spot into the tender skin just below his ear. A low, gravelly sound escapes from the back of Ryan's throat and he grasps at Naim's thighs, the small of his back. He turns his head so Naim's lips slide to his own, slick sounds filling the air as their lips slip and press.
Ryan wraps his arms around Naim's waist, hugging him close to himself as he moves to lay them both on their sides, next to each other in the middle of the bed. Naim hums against Ryan's mouth, propping himself up on his forearm to lean over him, licking hungrily across his teeth and tongue. Ryan let his jaw go slack, his hands sliding under Naim's shirt and scraping his nails along his back as Naim moves to hover over him properly, one of his legs sliding to press his thigh between Ryan's.
Ryan sighs noisily as Naim kisses away from his mouth, grinding up against the firmness of his thigh and panting. "Fuck, Naim," he grits out, one of his hands moving to tangle in Naim's hair as he sucks and licks and nibbles at his throat.
Ryan frantically moves his hand from Naim's back to grip at him through his pants, making Naim gasp roughly. "Come on, come on," he whispers breathily, urgently, reaching for the hem of Naim's shirt and tugging it up.
Naim leans back on his haunches to pull off his shirt and throw it off to the side, followed by Ryan's. Ryan reaches up to grab at Naim's ribs and chest as the brunet struggles with his belt, tugging and yanking at the leather until Ryan finally quits his groping to help. Naim stumbles off the bed to drag Ryan's pants off hurriedly, followed by his own.
Ryan breathes heavily as he moves up to the top of the mattress, smiling broadly at Naim as he crawls back on top of him, settling between his thighs and leaning down to give his lips a quick kiss before moving down. He peppers kisses across Ryan's chest and stomach until he can press his face against the fabric covering his dick. Ryan sighs thickly, one of his hands moving to comb through Naim's hair. Naim mouths over his length through Ryan's boxers, smiling a little to himself when it makes Ryan's hips stutter up against him.
He licks up Ryan's dick from the base to where the tip is peeking up over the band of his boxers, leaking onto his tummy. Naim pulls down the elastic just enough to close his lips over the tip, licking up the pre-cum dripping from his slit.
"Fuck!" Ryan hisses, throwing his head back. He starts tugging harshly at Naim's hair, shying away from his tongue. "Naim, Naim, please, want you to fuck me," he chants out, twisting his fingers in Naim's hair and pulling him away from his dick, watching a string of saliva form and then snap from connecting Naim's lips to his cock.
Naim stares up at Ryan, tongue still resting on his bottom lip as he processes the words. When he does, his eyes flutter shut and his mouth clamps closed to muffle the groan he can't stop from resonating in his chest. He moves to hide his face in the crease of Ryan's hip, inhaling his scent.
He can hear Ryan swallow and feels him squirm a little. "If-- if you want, I mean," he backtracks quietly, his hand clenching and unclenching in Naim's hair. "I know we haven't really talked about it since..." It had been, what, a month since their conversation? If you could call it that. Naim hadn't let himself think of it much more than the occasional sleepy slip of the mind for fear he would combust entirely.
Naim moves so only the bottom half of his face is pressed to Ryan, and he can look up at him through his lashes. He slides his hands up Ryan's body before he presses them into the mattress on either side of his chest, pushing himself up. He rises to nudge his nose against Ryan's, raising his eyebrows. "I want to," he whispered, leaning down so their lips would brush with every word they spoke. "Are you sure?"
Ryan's eyelashes flutter and he nods as a shaky sigh leaves his lips. "Yes," He breathes against Naim, his hands moving to touch Naim's jaw. "Want it so bad." Naim inhales sharply as Ryan moves his hips to grind their dicks together.
"We don't have..." He trails off when Ryan shakes his head and moves to rifle around in his jeans, pulling out a little travel-sized bottle of lube. Naim laughs incredulously, sitting back on his knees again. "You fucker," he chuckles, grabbing the bottle from Ryan as he hands it to him.
Ryan grins at him easily, leaning back against the bed, all pale skin and lean muscle. Naim licks his lips, palming Ryan through his boxers. "You're so pretty," he mutters, rubbing his thumb just under the head of Ryan's cock.
Ryan rolls his eyes and puffs, though Naim can see the redness in his cheeks. "Hurry up, you cunt," he says, though there's no real malice in his tone. Naim smiles and reaches to pull off Ryan's boxers, throwing them off to the side. He moves to wrap his fingers around Ryan's base, slowly stroking him and listening to his heavy breathing as he snaps the tube of lube open, eyeing it carefully.
"You gotta tell me if it feels bad, or anything," he says as he stops touching Ryan to drizzle some of the liquid on his fingers. "I haven't done this before." He knows Ryan already knows that, but he feels the need to reiterate; maybe to fall back on if it's the worst thing to ever happen to Ryan.
Ryan nods, watching Naim's fingers as he rubs them together to try and warm up the lube. "I'll tell you." He mumbles absently, reaching down to loosely fist his own dick. Naim licks his bottom lip into his mouth to bite it as he runs his free hand up and down one of Ryan's thighs, moving forward to lift Ryan's hips and prop them up on his own thighs.
He looks up at Ryan as he traces a finger down to his entrance, studying his expression and how it stutters when he presses against the muscle there. He breathes deep before pushing a finger in, watching as Ryan's face scrunches up and his hand on his dick slows to a stop. "Hurts?" He murmurs into the air between them, keeping his hand still until Ryan replies.
Ryan takes a moment to reply, shifting a little where he lays. "'s okay, keep going," he whispers, looking at Naim again.
Naim nods, stroking his thigh gently with his free hand as he sinks his finger all the way in. "You're alright, just relax," he breathes out, slowly starting to work his finger in and out of Ryan, watching him squeeze the tip of his own cock.
Ryan's body listens to Naim's words, easing up the tension in all his muscles. Ryan throws an arm over his eyes, his mouth hung open in a constant pant. "What does it feel like?" Naim whispers, quiet, like he doesn't want to burst the moment.
Ryan grunts, his hips shifting. "It feels... Weird." He admits. "But it's not... Bad. 's not bad." He's properly stroking his own cock now, pushing and pulling and twisting near the head.
Naim nods though Ryan can't see him. You want another?" He lets a second finger brush against the rim of his hole, and Ryan gasps, nodding. Naim watches carefully as he pulls out his finger to re-enter with two, seeing Ryan twitch and squirm. "It's okay, I've got you," he slowly thrusts his fingers, watching as Ryan throws his head back.
"Fuck," Ryan groans, turning his head to the side. "That's…"
Naim stares at him with a slack jaw, pressing himself deeper and deeper with every movement of his hand until Ryan is abruptly gasping and jerking, his arm flying off his eyes, which have flown open. "Fuck! Do that again, do it again." He says breathlessly, sitting up on his forearms.
Naim hesitates for a moment, a little unsure of what exactly he did, before pushing in and dragging the pads of his fingers against Ryan's soft walls. Miraculously, it works, and Ryan groans loudly this time, throwing his head back. "Holy shit," he huffs out, his arms giving out from under him as Naim rubs against the spot inside him, utterly fascinated. "Oh,"
Naim fucks his fingers in and out, pressing against that spot, until Ryan is stretched enough for a third. He eases it in gently and Ryan makes a guttural moaning noise, reaching out for Naim's hand on his hip to grasp it as he begins to prep him with all three.
"I want your dick," Ryan says to the ceiling, moving back against Naim's hand. "I want it, want you inside," his nails scratch at the back of Naim's free hand as he thrusts his fingers into that spot over and over again.
"Don't wanna hurt you." Naim breathes in reply, like he isn't fighting every instinct in his body to take Ryan as soon as physically possible.
Ryan groans, looking at Naim again. "Fuck off. You're not gonna hurt me." he snips, and Naim can't help the indignant little giggle that bubbles in his chest at the snark.
"Keep talking like that and maybe I will," he replies dryly, expecting a roll of the eyes or a quip, but Ryan just shudders out a thick breath and lays back down properly, his lashes fluttering. Naim notes it down for later.
Naim stands again to shuck off his underwear, watching Ryan lazily stroke his cock as he waits for him. Naim lets his teeth show with his smirk as he settles back between Ryan's legs, opening the lube and pouring a liberal amount on his neglected dick. He gasps at the feeling, sliding his fist up and down himself to spread it out. He can feel Ryan looking at him, but he doesn't feel as embarrassed as he usually would.
When he thinks it's adequately spread, he looks back up to Ryan's face as he scoots forward on the bed, his cock pressing to the cleft of Ryan's ass. "You okay?"
Ryan nods eagerly, squirming his hips to try and get closer to Naim's dick. "Yeah, I'll tell you, come on…" He pants impatiently.
Naim breathes out something of a laugh before gripping his dick again to line it up with Ryan's hole, licking his lips and taking a deep breath as he slowly pressed into Ryan.
He can't help the punched-out sound that forces its way out of him as the head of his dick breaches Ryan, squeezing his eyes shut tight. "Ryan, fuck," he hisses, his free hand falling to grip the sheets beside Ryan's hips. He looks at Ryan's face and immediately moves up his body to scatter kisses all over his cheeks and chin when he sees the pain there. "I'm sorry, I know, I'm sorry," he whispers against his skin, and Ryan breathes a gasp in reply.
He pushes in very slowly until he's fit all in, groaning roughly and tucking his head into the crook of Ryan's neck. "Holy fuck, holy fuck, Ryan," he pants out helplessly, trying not to move and to let Ryan adjust to the feeling instead of rabbiting into the tight heat like he wants to.
Ryan has his face buried in Naim's hair, his fingers tangled in it, and Naim can feel his uneven breaths against his scalp. "Naim…" he moans into Naim's hair, visibly trying to relax. Naim moves to press their lips together in a lazy, sloppy kiss, feeling Ryan wraps his legs around Naim's back.
Naim parts from Ryan with one final kiss to his bottom lip, looking down between them to where Ryan's dick had leaked a puddle on pre-cum onto his stomach. Naim groans at the sight and wraps around Ryan's cock, jerking it slowly as he cautiously grinds his hips forward into him.
Ryan's head tilts back and he makes a sound like he can't believe that it feels so good. Naim keeps his eyes on him as he slowly pulls out and thrusts back in, just a couple inches. "Are you…" Naim trails off with a heavy breath, but Ryan's nodding anyway.
"Yeah, yeah, you can move, baby," he pants against Naim's cheek, his hands sliding to grip Naim's neck and shoulders. Naim obeys, starting to fuck Ryan in earnest, moaning as he falls closer towards Ryan's chest, mouth at his throat. Ryan's dick is leaking so much that the slide of Naim's hand on his cock is slippery and Naim can hardly focus when Ryan is making these soft grunts with every thrust.
"Fuck, that feels so fucking good, Naim. Holy shit. I didn't know." He rambles against Naim's forehead, his nails digging into the skin covering his shoulder blades. "Shit, oh fuck," he's babbling, a little, against Naim's face, nodding nonsensically.
Naim is whining and groaning now, too, with every movement of his hips. "Fuck, I'm not gonna last," he moans, lifting himself from Ryan's chest to look him in the eye, speeding up his hand on his cock.
"Yes, come on, I want you to finish, I want to see it." Ryan's eyes are hardly open, Naim can just barely see the glimmer of how his pupils have almost entirely taken over his irises; his face is blotchy and pink and his lips are bitten red and Naim doesn't think he's ever seen someone more beautiful. "Want you inside me, wanna keep you inside,"
Naim hopes that the moan that's ripped from him at Ryan's words can't be heard outside of their room. "Ryan," he gasps, pushing himself up onto his haunches to give himself more leverage, fucking Ryan harder and faster. "Oh god," he grabs at the meat of Ryan's thigh, holding it to his chest.
Ryan's eyes are rolling back, and his back is arching, and he's making breathless uh, uh, uh sounds every time Naim's hips hit his ass.
Naim shakes his head, a little wild, a little insane. "Wan’ you to come first, oh--" he knows his wants won't be fulfilled when the rapidly building heat in his gut comes to a crest and he has to pull out before he spills his load inside of Ryan. He lets go of Ryan's thigh to give himself one, two, three frantic, rough strokes before he's coming so hard he feels like he might black out, blood rushing in his ears and eyes rolling back into his head.
He can faintly hear Ryan's voice and feels his hand on Ryan's dick get pushed out of the way and opens his eyes just in time to see Ryan's face when he comes, jaw slack and eyes squeezed shut as he coaxes rope after rope of spend from himself.
Naim collapses half-on Ryan when they're both through, breathing so heavily he feels like he might never catch his breath. He feels a hand land on his back, grabbing for purchase, and he can't help the incredulous laugh that spills out of him. Then Ryan is laughing, too, and they're giggling and starting to roll around and wrestle in a bed filthied with their evidence.
It's only after they've showered and tossed the dirty blanket off the bed, both in their boxers as Naim straddles Ryan's hips where he's laying in the centre of the bed, that they finally speak again.
"You didn't do it inside." Is all Ryan says, looking up at Naim with a cheeky smile.
Naim feels his face flush at record speeds, as if he wasn't just inside of Ryan. "Shut up. I didn't want to make a mess."
Ryan sighs dramatically, rolling his head back against the pillows. "Oh, so considerate." He looks at Naim like that, for a moment, with his head tilted back, before speaking again. "I guess you'll just have to next time."
Naim groans and clambers off Ryan's lap, listening to him giggle as he flops down on his side next to him. "Good night." he huffs, feigning irritation, though he presses back against Ryan's chest when he curls himself around Naim's back.