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The first time Sakura noticed something was off, Suo laughed it away like always.
"You've been rubbing your temples all morning," Sakura pointed out as they walked through the halls towards their class.
Suo blinked before lowering his hand,"Have I?"
"...Yeah."
"Ah," He smiled, as if he'd simply forgotten. "Just a small headache, nothing worth worrying about."
That was enough of an explanation for Sakura.
Headaches happened to everyone so he didn't think too much of it.
The second time, it was Nirei.
"S-Suo-san!" Nirei hurried after him, clutching a notebook against his chest. "Y-you forgot your lunch!"
Suo looked down at the neatly wrapped bento sitting in Nirei's hands.
"...Did I?"
"You always bring one."
"I suppose I wasn't very hungry this morning."
"I-I can heat it up for you!"
"Thank you."
Nirei beamed and hurried off, but hours later, he found the bento untouched exactly where he'd left it.
It kept happening, Suo would arrive before everyone else and leave after everyone else.
He stayed behind to mentor some of the weaker fighters, assigned patrols, and walked injured students home just to make sure that they made it there.
He trained longer than anyone else, driven by discipline and the refusal to allow anyone to ever be disappointed in him.
He answered every request with the same patient smile.
"Could you help me with this?"
"Of course," he'd reply.
"Sorry to bother you…."
"Not at all," he'd wave away the apology.
"You're always so reliable."
"I only do what anyone else would," he'd reason.
Except... no one else did at least not like this.
Suo had learned to make himself lovable and needed in order to ensure that he was never a burden to anyone. His own feelings didn't matter as long as everyone else was fine. If they were fine, he was fine, right?
Sleep became optional.
He told himself four hours was enough, then three, then two until sleep became an elusive task.
There simply wasn't enough time, someone always needed him and he always had to be there.
If he slept, that was time he could have spent helping, training, or meditating.
The dark circles beneath his eyes were easy enough to hide, but the shaking in his hands wasn't.
Whenever it started, he'd slip them into his pockets until it stopped, pair it with his charming smile and a teasing comment and no one would ever know that inside he was slowly falling apart.
His appetite disappeared somewhere along the way.
Breakfast became tea.
Lunch became, "I'll eat later."
Dinner became whatever convenience store happened to still be open when he remembered food existed or whatever he could scrounge up in the empty apartment he called home.
Sometimes he forgot altogether and eventually his uniform became looser.
"Have you lost weight?" Kotoha asked one afternoon while handing him a drink.
Suo accepted it with a smile."Have I? Perhaps I've just been exercising more."
She frowned,"...Maybe."
He changed the subject before she could think too hard about it.
The headaches became worse, sometimes his vision blurred.
Sometimes he'd stand up too quickly and the world would tilt violently beneath his feet while black threatened to swallow him.
He learned to pause before walking, learned to casually rest a hand against the nearest wall and count to five.Wait for the dizziness to pass, then smile. Always smile.
By the third week, his body had begun to protest.
His heart raced climbing stairs, his body ached.
He woke up exhausted no matter how much sleep he got, not that he was sleeping much anymore.
Someone needed help moving desks, Suo was there
Nirei forgot his notes, Suo found them.
Sakura wanted another sparring session, Suo obliged.
There was always something or someone.
He could rest tomorrow, but tomorrow became next week, and next week became never.
"You're spacing out."
Suo blinked, pulling himself back from his thoughts.
Across from him, Umemiya tilted his head."You've been staring at your tea for almost a minute."
"...Have I?" Suo chuckled softly.
"You okay?"
There it was again, that question.He answered it the way he always did."I'm perfectly fine."
Umemiya studied him for another second, then smiled,"If you say so."
Suo smiled back and the conversation moved on with neither of them noticing the way Suo's fingers tightened around the cup to stop them from trembling.
The day everything fell apart started like every other.
He woke before sunrise after barely two hours of sleep, skipped breakfast.
Ignored the nausea twisting in his stomach, sipped some tea and started his day.
Suo carried on as usual, assigning patrols, advising Sakura, consoling Nirei.
His head pounded and every light felt too bright while sounds were so muffled all around.
But everyone else was smiling, so he smiled too.
No one noticed how pale he'd become.No one noticed that he leaned against the wall while everyone celebrated another victory.No one noticed him quietly swallowing back the wave of dizziness that made the hallway spin because Suo always looked fine.
Until, suddenly...he wasn't.
The day had been exhausting, just... one thing after another.
Classes.Training.
Helping with patrols to fill in for a sick student.Walking a bruised classmate to the nurse's office. He cleaned up after the afternoon training session.
By the time the sun began to dip lower in the sky, the members of Furin had gathered outside the school, talking over each other as they prepared to head home.
Suo stood among them, smiling quietly as always.
You never would have guessed he was barely holding himself upright.
His stomach ached with hunger, he couldn't remember the last thing he'd eaten or when.
Yesterday?
His head throbbed behind his eye, every heartbeat sending another wave of pain through his skull.
He was so tired.God, he was tired.Just get through today.
"Suo."
He looked up and Umemiya was holding out a bottle of water.
"You've hardly had anything to drink."
"Thank you."
Suo accepted it with a polite smile, he twisted the cap off and raised it to his lips.
His hand shook just enough for a few drops to spill down the side of the bottle, but he quickly steadied himself.
"...You okay?" Umemiya asked.
"Mm?"
"Your hand."
Suo looked down as though he'd only just noticed."Oh."
He laughed softly, "I suppose I'm more tired than I realized."
"Go home."
"I will."
"You mean it?"
"Of course."
Umemiya stared for another second before nodding,"...Good."
The conversation ended there.
He lied.
Instead of going home, Suo stayed behind.
One of the first-years had asked for him to cover his patrol because he needed to attend a family dinner.
Another needed advice and someone else wanted to spar.
He couldn't say no, not when they were counting on him. Not when he measured his self worth by the acts of service he could perform.
By the time he finally left the school grounds, the sky had already begun to darken.
His steps were slower now and his legs felt strangely heavy.
He blamed the training and the lack of sleep.
The next morning, nothing felt real.
His alarm had gone off and he'd turned it off.
He couldn't remember getting dressed, or leaving the house….or walking to school.
It was as though he'd blinked......and suddenly he was sitting in class.
Nirei leaned over,"Suo-san?"
"Hm?"
"...Did you hear what the teacher just said?"
Suo looked toward the front of the room, "...I'm afraid not."
"You've been staring out the window for almost ten minutes."
"I have?" he asked, "my apologies."
He forgot his notebook, forgot where he'd put his phone, forgot conversations he'd had less than an hour earlier.
Simple, small things, but they kept happening.
Every mistake was followed by the same quiet laugh."I suppose I'm absentminded today."
No one questioned it because everyone had off days.
Training was absolute hell.His reactions were slower and he misjudged distances.
Twice he stumbled over his own feet and the third time Sakura caught his arm before he hit the ground. To say Sakura was concerned was an understatement because Suo didn't stumble. He was always so poised, so graceful.
Sakura frowned, "What's wrong with you today?"
Suo straightened immediately,"My footing slipped."
"You don't slip."
"I just did."
"You've looked exhausted all day."
"I didn't sleep very well."
"Then go home."
"I'll be alright."
"You always say that."
Suo smiled,"Because it's true."
Sakura didn't look convinced.
Still...he let his arm go.
After practice everyone lingered, talking as they usually did.
Nirei was animatedly retelling something that had happened during class and even Sakura was laughing.
Suo listened quietly from the edge of the group.
He wanted to join in, really he did, but concentrating on the conversation felt strangely difficult.
Everyone's voices blended together creating a cacophany of noise and their normal distinctive voices to be indiscernable.
He blinked hard, trying to force back the black spots creeping in.
The world swayed and his vision blurred for a second before clearing again.
He took a deep breath, the dizziness will pass.
"...Suo?"
He looked toward Sakura,"Yes?"
"You look pale."
"I'm alright."
"You don't…."
A sharp ringing filled Suo's ears, so loud that the conversation vanished.
His heartbeat pounded in his ears and his vision narrowed until all he could see were blurred shapes.
His legs suddenly felt so weak.
He reached out instinctively, trying to steady himself, but nothing was there, no wall for support. His fingers grasped empty air.
"...Suo?"Someone sounded frightened.
"I'm..."His voice barely came out above a whisper."...sorry..."
The last thing he saw was everyone's faces changing.
Confusion, then fear at watching their stoic vice captain fall.
Darkness consumed him as his body crumpled without warning.
He hit the pavement hard enough to make everyone flinch.
"Suo!"Sakura reached him first, dropping to his knees."Suo! Hey!"
No answer.His eyes stayed closed and his body was frighteningly limp.
Nirei froze."...N-no..."His voice shook,"Suo-san...?"
He'd never seen Suo like this, never imagined he could.
Umemiya was already beside them, checking for a pulse with steady hands,"Call an ambulance."
For a moment, no one moved because the words didn't make sense.
An ambulance?For Suo?
"He hasn't woken up," Umemiya said, sharper this time. "Now."
Someone fumbled for their phone and another student sprinted toward the front gate.
Sakura stayed exactly where he was, one hand supporting Suo's head and one hand on his chest feeling the rise and fall. His breathing was shallow.His skin felt cold despite the warmth of the afternoon.
"How long?" Sakura asked quietly.
No one answered because they all knew what he meant.
How long had he been pretending?
And why?Why hadn't any of them looked closely enough to realize that the strongest person among them had been falling apart right in front of them?