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The first sensation that broke through the thick veil of haziness was pervasive, inescapable, all-consuming coldness. Immediately, on an instinctive level, falling back into the oblivion of unconsciousness just to avoid the terrible sensation seemed like the obvious choice. In the next moment, before the frail flickers of consciousness could fade into peaceful obscurity, foreign power enveloped them in a soothing embrace, making the idea of returning to the waking world not so scary anymore. The equally soothing female voice joined in, offering resolute encouragement that was difficult to resist.
— Listen to me, dear, wake up. Come on, open your eyes, it's not that hard, — the voice gently coaxed, but the meaning of the uttered words was hardly registered. Only the soothing but commanding tone of it was processed at first. But the words were laced with the same foreign power that was hard to disobey, and the frail shreds of consciousness were too weak to even attempt to resist its pull. Darkness was pushed back by light. Through blurry vision, a cloudy sky and a woman with an intense gaze could be seen. When she opened her mouth, the familiar soothing voice could be heard. It was hard not to get lulled back to sleep now that the woman's voice was no longer laced with a command, but the attempts to slip back into slumber were accompanied by unpleasant pressure that mellowed only whenever an effort to resist the temptation of falling back into peaceful darkness of oblivion was made. The previous command had yet to dissipate.
— Weren't these golden before? — the woman asked someone standing out of view. The person in question seemed to take a few steps closer, ground shuffling beneath their feet as their footsteps drew near, but when they replied, they remained concealed, only their voice could be heard. A harsh male voice with a hint of underlying perpetual tiredness. Unlike the woman's voice, which was the clearest sound right now, almost as if everything else was deliberately reduced to mere incoherent background noise by some unexplainable force, the male voice was laced with static and sounded muted, individual words requiring great effort and concentration to make out.
— I think so, — the second person said, sounding rather certain but generally uninterested in the conversation. And when he finally stepped into view to inspect whatever the woman had mentioned, whatever used to be golden and now no longer was, his tall stature and overall appearance could be made out, even if they were blurry, dark colors of their clothes and physical traits blending together. But the man didn't linger, only letting out a scoff before just as quickly stepping back and disappearing from view, satisfied with only getting a glance at whatever caught the woman's attention. Though it didn't seem like he stepped far away, the sound of his footsteps halting way too soon for him to have made a significant distance.
— Hmm, they are not quite red, but it seems like they are redder than they used to be, especially one of them, — the woman said pensively, initiating eye contact again, her misty gaze holding enough intensity to pierce into a person's soul and read all their deepest and darkest secrets. Her pupilless eyes were almost hypnotizing. Getting lost in thought, she stayed silent for some time, thinking, although what was currently on her mind remained a mystery. The quietness was soothing. The only sounds were those of wind blowing through the surroundings, caressing the grass, then swiftly continuing to move through the plains, unobstructed by anything. There seemed to be no trees, hills or buildings that would get in its way and halt its carefree journey.
— Seems like it. Does this give you a clearer picture of what had happened here? — the man asked, as impassive as ever. It almost seemed like he hardly cared about the conversation, but he was just as hard to read as the woman, so perhaps this was the wrong conclusion. It was hard to understand what was happening through the thick veil of haziness that clouded mind just as well as it did physical senses. Either way, neither of the two people seemed uncomfortable or discontent with each other, so they must've been working towards the same goal.
— Let's see, Luofu's general's dear retainer got mara-struck despite being so young and showing no signs of his mara worsening. Something must've forced him to become mara-struck. And judging by all those mutilated corpses, it wouldn't be a stretch to assume that all these people, including our dear retainer, had the growth of their mara forcefully accelerated. Perhaps it's because of how little the mara of this one progressed due to his young age that he didn't become a mindless Abomination of Abundance. Still, he's probably quite close to it, — the woman said contemplatively, and the length of her explanation made it exceptionally difficult to keep track of everything she said, let alone estimate the severity of the situation that she described, so the meaning of her words ended up getting lost in the background noise of the wind and grass shuffling without any rhythm.
— No, I don't think all these people were stricken with mara and their bodies couldn't handle it, so they died. They probably would've survived as Abominations of Abundance. But someone prevented that from happening and slayed them, — the man said thoughtfully, the pause between his words holding a lot of meaning, and the intensifying look in the woman's eyes suggested that she caught onto it, humming in understanding. After some time, she spoke up again, a hint of amusement in her still soothing voice, although it has began sounding muted and getting a little staticky as well.
— Technically, they would be Xianzhou's enemies now, wouldn't they? Our dear retainer might've been following his instincts, granting them the sweet release of death. Or maybe he just fell victim to the mara induced bloodlust that must've taken hold of him. He's still very out of it, — the woman said with both seriousness and subtle amusement in her voice, her speech lighthearted, the sound of her voice easy to fall asleep to. Having no strength to resist the pull of slumber, the shreds of consciousness gave into the temptation and allowed the world to slowly grow darker and more distant, surrounding noises become so muted that they could hardly be heard. Haziness returned with newfound strength, enveloping everything the same way it did before the woman's laced with power, clear and commanding voice had dispelled it.
— Perhaps, so what do we do with him now? — the man asked with genuine curiosity, his voice as distant and muted as it could get without being completely silent, but the world was plunged into darkness before the fact that he spoke could be registered, let alone processed. This time the limbo between complete oblivion and dubious wakefulness was calm, soon growing soothing. The foreign power renewed its hold on the consciousness that was now slumbering, still hazy and not really aware itself, but placid and not plagued by any mara induced nightmares that it wouldn't even be able to understand, only get scared by, for the worst thing about them was how indistinguishable they were from reality.
Waking up was a difficult task. It felt like he had to actively resist the pull of exhaustion and pervasive ache that he was drowning in and swim towards the surface through murky and thicker than normal water. Eventually, Yanqing was able to pry his heavy eyelids open and awaken from what had to be the longest slumber in his life. Though, with wakefulness didn't come clarity, and he was left disoriented and confused, struggling to understand what was going on and where he was, his surroundings taking their time to morph from blurry smudges of color to distinct shaped. Slowly, he rose, using his arms to support his aching and heavy body, and looked around, trying to persevere through the headache that made focusing and thinking particularly daunting tasks.
— Where am I? What happened? Ugh, why does everything hurt? — Yanqing muttered, his voice hoarse from lack of use and strained, his throat parched. Through hazy vision, he tried to take in the empty and unfamiliar room. It was dark, and upon further inspection, he could see that there were tall black curtains that were half drawn. The other half of the tall window was unobscured, and Yanqing was greeted with a surprising sight of cosmos beyond the thick glass. Why was he in space on what most likely was a spaceship? Why wasn't he on Luofu? He had no memory of getting onto this spaceship nor could he recall anything that could've alluded to him being here making sense. He didn't think he was supposed to be here, his duties were usually limited to Luofu, but there was also an issue of him having absolutely no recollection of what happened prior to his awakening here. Everything in his mind was just so fuzzy.
Slowly getting up from under the warm covers, immediately feeling a little cold, Yanqing nevertheless persevered through the unpleasant sensation and looked around once again, leaning against the headboard of the bed for support, his body feeling the worst it has ever felt, and he didn't trust it to keep itself upright right now. Much to his delight, he at least managed to spot something familiar, his clothes. Though, the initial excitement quickly faded, for upon closer inspection, his clothes turned out to be horribly messy and stained with so much blood that Yanqing unwillingly fearfully glanced at his own body to inspect it for any life-threatening wounds. There were none. He hesitantly returned his gaze to his ruined clothes. It seems like the only parts of his original outfit that remained in a good enough condition to be worn were the ones that were currently on him, which wasn't much. He was wearing his white shirt, but the sweater that was over it definitely wasn't his. Moreover, it had a cutesy print, which further solidified the theory that someone had lent it to him, though Yanqing still had no memories of it. The soft fabric pants that he was wearing were plain, lacking an embarrassing design, but they also didn't belong to him, a little too long to be something that Yanqing would comfortably wear on a daily basis. Well, at least wherever he was, it didn't seem like a bad place, and whoever inhabited it didn't seem like bad people, even if the room he woke up in carried a bit of a dreary atmosphere and was minimalistic to the point of appearing a little too empty. Not that Yanqing had any rights to judge, seeing as he was probably intruding on someone's living space.
After dragging his body over to the door that presumably led out of the room, Yanqing discovered that despite having a lock, it had been left unlocked. Assuming that it was a sign that no one minded him leaving the room and walking around, he quietly exited the room, looking around and trying to get an idea of what kind of place he found himself in. Despite how well he seemed to have been treated so far, the truth of the matter was that, cut off from people he knew and having no way of contacting them, he was mostly at the mercy of whoever was in charge of this place. It didn't help that he felt terrible physically, each step making his headache spike and a nauseating feeling wash over him with newfound intensity. Maybe he was supposed to be on bed rest, but at the same time, there was no medical equipment in the room and the door was unlocked, as if in permission to walk around, and he couldn't just miss the opportunity to try to learn more about the predicament he found himself in.
The door led to a spacious hallway, and although it seemed a little bare, there was another similarity between it and the room that Yanqing had woken up in. The spacious hallway seemed similarly lived in. Clean and empty enough to suggest that whoever resided in this spaceship didn't spend very much time here, but having enough rare but haphazardly placed belongings, some of them more personal than others, to prove that someone indeed has been calling this place a home for some time. In fact, the hallway almost seemed more homely than the room that Yanqing was just in. Not without massive effort, he managed to walk through it, warily looking around, noting down just how uncomfortably quiet it was all around. At this point, unnerved by the weird silence, Yanqing was merely hoping to find something that would give him an idea of what was going on or even someone who could explain the situation to him, because he was utterly perplexed and his poor physical health didn't exactly make the thinking process any easier.
Eventually, he rounded a corner, and immediately stopped dead in his tracks, his attention caught by the person standing there. Sitting cross-legged on the armchair, the girl was leaning her elbows on the coffee table in front of it, immersed in whatever video game she was playing on her handheld gaming console. She had yet to show any signs of noticing him, blowing bubble gum and looking very focused on pressing buttons on her console. Yanqing slowly stepped closer, but the carpet that stretched through the entire length of the hallway muffled his footsteps, and the girl still showed no sign of acknowledging him, so he let out an awkward cough in an attempt to get her attention.
— Uh, excuse me, hello! Um... — Yanqing muttered anxiously, for a second afraid his voice was too weak to be heard, so he tried to make it louder. The abrupt bout of nervousness made his head spin, and he began taking deeper breaths in an attempt to supress the sudden dizziness that has taken hold of him. He was almost ready for the silence to continue, but the girl finally hummed in understanding, the sole sign of her acknowledging his presence. Judging by her lack of surprise, she was aware of it already, having heard him walk up to her after all. But she had yet to say a word, and Yanqing took shaky steps towards the wall, almost stumbling at the last moment, then heavily leaning against it as he desperately waited for his vision to clear. At last, seeing as he was hardly getting any better, his ears feeling as if they were stuffed with cotton and every surrounding noise sounding increasingly more muffled, he sat down on the floor. He was certain his heavy breathing was audible to anyone around, but the need to not pass out overshadowed anything else. Sitting down helped a little. Each new inhale became easier to take and the black spots clouding his vision started to abate. He hasn't even noticed when he could hardly hear anything around him, sound of approaching footsteps so muted he hasn't even processed it. A snap of fingers right in front of his face brought him out of the daze, the sudden bout of sickness thankfully gradually letting go of him.
— Do you need anything? Water maybe? I could quickly fetch a water bottle or something while you sit here? Does anything hurt? — kneeling before Yanqing, the girl with gaming console in one hand asked methodically, her voice rather neutral and monotone, but her gaze intent enough to suggest that she was expecting replies to all her questions, so Yanqing dutifully went through them in his mind, pushing through the dull ache pulsating inside his head, before beginning to reply. His hoarse voice was probably a good enough answer to the question of whether he needed some water. Besides, the girl must've been from here, seeing as she felt herself completely at home, so if she was offering some water to him, then it was fine for Yanqing to accept it as a gesture of hospitality. And when she returns, he would hopefully feel better and could ask her some questions.
— Oh, uh, sure, I could use some water... I'm fine otherwise, just dizzy. My head has been fuzzy and aching ever since I woke up, — Yanqing muttered, looking up and trying to offer the girl a smile, but he quickly ended up wincing, raising his head so quickly having caused him pain. Her gaze lingered on him for a few more seconds, then she nodded and silently walked off, presumably to get some water for him. Seeing as she didn't seem to be paying much attention to him anymore, Yanqing saved his thanks until she would return.
He just hoped that sitting down some more and then having a glass of water would help him. Otherwise, he would have to continue tolerating the horrible condition that has taken hold of him. He didn't know if there was any medicine or any viable treatment, seeing as it was debatable if there were any medics on board. While it might be true that Yanqing disliked receiving medical treatment and being out of commission, being in pain and suffering wasn't a better alternative. He felt pathetic being unable to even walk around, and he doubted he would be able to firmly grip his sword, let alone hold his own in combat. At least it didn't seem like he would need to fight, he didn't seem to be in enemy territory.
It took some time for the girl with gaming console practically glued to one of her hands to come back, but she was quick, just like she promised to be, even though Yanqing still felt the passage of time acutely enough for it to feel like forever, each second passing with incongruous slowness as Yanqing kept wincing from the headache that occasionally flared up and got especially unpleasant whenever he moved around even the tiniest bit. It didn't help that he was also feeling short of breath, actively trying to avoid passing out in the middle of an empty hallway he was seeing for the first time in his life.
— I'm back. There you go, — the girl said, ready to hand Yanqing an unopened bottle of water, briefly pausing and looking at him scrutinizingly, then opening the bottle herself and handing it to him, which he was thankful for. His hands felt too weak and shaky for him to be able to open it by himself. In the meantime, the girl sat down on the floor beside him, leaning her back against the wall as well, returning her attention to her gaming console and slowly pressing some buttons, but this time she didn't seem to be playing a time sensitive game, her face no longer scrunched in concentration.
For some time, both of them remained silent as Yanqing tried to regain his bearings and feel good enough to converse again and the girl was absorbed in her game. Maybe after some more time passes, he will be able to firmly stand on his feet again and walk around, but for now his objective was trying to talk the girl into explaining what was going on to him. She didn't seem surprised by his presence, so she must've had a better understanding of why Yanqing was here than him.
Though, it was odd that he wasn't even able to stand upright right now, for there was no evident reason for this. He couldn't see why he shouldn't be able to walk around and feel as good as he normally felt. There were no major injuries on his body, and he couldn't recall any events that could've left him in such a horrible state. His head still hurt though, so trying to think of what had happened prior to him passing out and ending up here continued to be too difficult of a task. However, perhaps someone else had the knowledge that he lacked, and maybe Yanqing could find out something from the girl sitting next to him. Tilting his head towards her to demonstrate his desire to talk, Yanqing quietly coughed, which seemed to successfully get her attention. She didn't take her eyes off the game, but she did lower the gaming console ever so slightly and briefly glanced in his direction to show that she was listening.
— Where am I? What happened? I don't remember what happened to me... but it seems like something definitely did, — Yanqing asked slowly, closing the lid of the water bottle and for now putting it next to him on the floor. The memories of recent events eluded him like a dream that you forgot more and more of as you tried to remember it. The girl next to him continued to stay silent, thinking about her answer and pressing buttons on the gaming console. One minute has passed before she offered him a response, perhaps having thought of what information to divulge. He couldn't tell whether her untalkativeness was born out of unwillingness to reveal too much to him or if it was just her personality trait.
— You're on our spaceship. As far as I understand, you were injured and unconscious, so my acquaintances brought you here. You can call me Silver Wolf,— the girl, Silver Wolf, said monotonously, emotionlessly, but it seemed to be her typical manner of speaking, so Yanqing made an effort to not mind it, instead focusing on the meaning of her words. Although she didn't seem to be lying, Yanqing struggled to understand how he could've been injured, yet feel no pain or discomfort right now, only a headache and unpleasant sickness. And he still couldn't recall anything either. The last thing he could remember was being on Xianzhou Luofu, everything else was shrouded in fog and induced a headache when he tried to clear it and remember something.
— I see. My name is Yanqing, nice to meet you, — Yanqing said, trying to force a smile onto his face despite the ache that has spread through his body, its epicenter located in his head. Silver Wolf nodded, then returned her full attention to the game in front of her, giving Yanqing time to compose himself and drink some more water.
After some time, she stilled, lowered her gaming console, then turned it off and put it away, getting onto her feet and slowly looking around. Her eyes stopped on Yanqing and she extended a hand to him, as if to help him get up. Picking up the water bottle from where it stood on the floor next to him, Yanqing accepted Silver Wolf's hand, and she pulled him onto his feet, not without some effort. Though, he had to stop when his vision starting swimming again and a wave of dizziness disoriented him. He leant against the wall, breathing and trying to stop feeling like he was about to pass out.
— Wanna head to the kitchen? We could get you something to eat. That might help you feel better, and you have been out for a while, you must be hungry, — Silver Wolf said, not having moved an inch, remaining standing nearby and waiting for him to feel good enough to walk. Once the pressure in his head was alleviated, Yanqing pulled away from the wall and slowly walked up to her, careful to not make any sudden movements that would make him feel awful again. Thankfully, taking slow and measured steps helped Yanqing keep the dizziness at bay.
— Sure, thanks. Do you know what's up with me? Why have I been out for a while? — Yanqing asked tentatively, trying to gauge Silver Wolf's willingness to answer his questions and see anything suspicious in the way she would choose to reply. In the meantime, the two of them assumed a slow pace, Silver Wolf presumably leading them to the kitchen.
— I'm not sure what's up with you. I'm not the best person to explain this. I've seen you being brought here, but I weren't the one who found you nor have I been the one treating you or monitoring your condition. But one of these people should be around the spaceship somewhere, perhaps you could ask him later, — Silver Wolf explained, glancing his way, and Yanqing nervously nodded in understanding, his eyebrows furrowed as he tried to read between the lines of Silver Wolf's words. But it didn't tell him much. At least Silver Wolf seemed sincere, not spinning any elaborate lies, instead simply remaining vague, whether on purpose or because she actually wasn't privy to any details. In any case, Yanqing could hardly do anything right now other than trust that the people on this spaceship didn't have bad intentions in regards to him.
— All right. Thank you for answering my questions anyway, — Yanqing said politely, his words laced with genuine gratitude, he just hoped it wasn't misplaced. The two of them continued to walk through the long spacious hallways. This spaceship sure was big but devoid of people. At least the cosmos outside the huge windows was calming to look at, and the quietness of the spaceship wasn't aggravating Yanqing's aching head. Silver Wolf wasn't bad company either.
— No problem, — Silver Wolf said as they rounded a corner, then continued walking some more, eventually stepping into a big room, then walking through a doorway to a smaller room that vaguely reminded Yanqing a kitchen. Judging by the fact that Silver Wolf stopped and began looking around, it was in fact their destination, and Yanqing took a seat on the nearby kitchen chair, his body immediately slumping against it. The pressure in his mind lessened ever so slightly, and he quietly observed Silver Wolf as she navigated around the kitchen with ease.
He really did originally intend to help Silver Wolf and not let her fuss around alone, but she didn't seem troubled and considering he was practically a stranger, he decided to hold his tongue because she might not appreciate him sticking his nose where it didn't belong. He for once wouldn't enjoy having a stranger rummage around his kitchen. In any case, she didn't say anything and made no sign of needing help, so he continued to stay out of her way.
After a few minutes, the exhaustion compelled him to close his eyes, and he almost ended up nodding off. What woke him up later were the noises of some cups and dishes clanking against each other. He remained awake, absentmindedly watching Silver Wolf as she poured boiling water into a deep plate and steam rose from it. Some time later another person walked into the kitchen, perhaps having noticed that the lights were on and decided to take a look at what was going on.
— You're up already, — not an unfamiliar voice spoke, evidently addressing Yanqing, who whipped around with widened eyes, immediately wide awake and on high alert, one of his hands instinctively darting towards his hip where his sword would usually hang. Expectedly, it wasn't there now, and before he could summon a weapon or an icy projection of one, someone else's sharp blade was already at his neck.
— You- — Yanqing gasped out, wary of the sharp blade at his neck, falling silent when it moved closer, threatening to cut skin at the slightest movement. Seeing the gesture have the intended effect and Yanqing quickly fall completely silent, Ren smiled in self-satisfaction and rose an eyebrow, as if it was Yanqing's behavior that was unusual and out of the norm and not the sudden presence of Ren, an intergalactic criminal, here.
— What about me? — Ren asked sarcastically, glancing at what Silver Wolf was up to while Yanqing attempted to wrap his mind around what was going on. So that's why Silver Wolf's name, or alias, because he doubted it was her actual name, rang a bell when she had introduced herself. Yanqing had seen her wanted posters, he had seen the wanted posters of all Stellaron Hunters, they were quite notorious criminals after all. He must've been at their spaceship, and they must've been the ones who had found him and brought him here too.
He didn't know what was going on anymore. Why did he land into such a horrible situation? And what had happened prior to this? He still couldn't remember. He felt like he was losing touch with reality, slowly becoming less and less aware of his surroundings, his ears feeling as if they were stuffed with cotton that drowned out all the noises around him. It was almost completely silent, and he could hardly see anything.
He didn't know how much time has passed with him being stuck in this state, slumped over the kitchen table, on the verge of passing out. He didn't know whether it has been seconds or minutes, but when he began regaining awareness of his surroundings, there was no more sharp sword at his neck. Trying to stabilize his breathing, Yanqing made an attempt to raise his head and look around, and he was abruptly snapped out of his confusion by fingers snapping right in front of his face. The first thing he realized was faint laughter coming from somewhere in the kitchen.
— Huh? — Yanqing muttered, flinching away from the finger snap, fearfully glancing at Ren, who was now standing a lot closer to him, measuring him with a glare that was intense enough to make Yanqing swallow nervously, a new wave of fear washing over him. Another bout of laughter broke out nearby, and Yanqing looked in its direction, finding Silver Wolf leaning heavily against the kitchen counter, unable to properly keep herself upright, continuously erupting in uncontrollable laughter.
— You- you're so scary without ev- even trying! You ter- terrified the hell outta him! — Silver Wolf said with occasional laughs interrupting her speech. Ren took a step back from Yanqing and threw a silent glare in her direction, an actual glare, which implied that whatever look was on his face before wasn't even a glare. Yanqing once again nervously swallowed, dejectedly wondering how he was going to get out of this situation. He never could've imagined he would find himself in the den of intergalactic criminals.
— Why am I here? — Yanqing asked quietly, hesitantly looking up at Ren, recalling Silver Wolf's words about him having been brought here by other people, one of whom was currently on the spaceship with then. Considering there didn't seem to be many people residing on this spaceship to begin with, the likelihood of Ren being one of the people Silver Wolf had referred to was pretty high.
Acknowledging the question, Ren hummed thoughtfully, leaning against the wall near Yanqing, not too close, as if respecting his personal space and current fearfulness of the man, but not too far either, leaving Yanqing uneasy. But they were having a conversation, so some proximity was necessary, no matter how alarming it was. After some time of mulling over his answer, Ren replied. The time he took to think of what to say, paired with similar behavior from Silver Wolf earlier, gave Yanqing an idea that it was intentional and both Stellaron Hunters were indeed choosing which information to divulge to him. It made sense, considering they were practically enemies, but it certainly worsened Yanqing's fearfulness. At least they didn't seem to have an intention of killing him, for if they wanted to, they certainly could've done so already.
— From what I understand, you were on a mission, something went wrong, then Kafka and I found you. You were hurt and unconscious, so we decided to help you and bring you here. Very merciful of intergalactic criminals, wouldn't you agree? I have yet to hear my thanks, — Ren said, almost sounding genuinely irritated, and Yanqing scoffed, annoyance battling with begrudging gratitude inside him. Ren's condescending manner of speech was getting on his nerves, and it must've shown on his face. However, that seemed to only further spur Ren on, the self-satisfied smirk returning onto his face.
— But why would you help me? I'm an enemy, — Yanqing asked with suspicion, even if he knew that he probably should've accepted the seemingly kind treatment he was receiving from Stellaron Hunters. Despite her overall lack of care for what was going on, Silver Wolf did help him quite a bit, and despite the earlier threatening gesture, Ren wasn't hostile towards him, hardly even antagonizing him, save for a few mocking remarks.
— You're hardly an enemy, especially in your current weak state. Either way, it wouldn't hurt to be on Xianzhou Luofu's general's good side by helping out his dear retainer, — Ren said nonchalantly, looking at Yanqing without a hint of being bothered by his presence, as if he was of no threat to Stellaron Hunters at all. The intent to condescend and embarrass of Ren's words has hit its mark, and Yanqing once again grit his teeth in annoyance that kept festering inside him and that he was unable to let out. After all, no matter how strong the emotions inside him were, a rational part of him realized that he was currently at the mercy of Stellaron Hunters, so he should try to be civil with them.
— Whatever. But thank you for helping me and taking me to your base instead of leaving me wherever you found me, I guess. I do feel terrible, — Yanqing replied, his voice betraying his uncertainty and confliction, because although a part of him did feel genuinely grateful, it felt wrong for this feeling to be directed towards notorious intergalactic criminals. However, with his mind occupied by this confliction, he neglected to mind his word choice, his last sentence coming out wrong, and unsurprisingly, Ren misunderstood him.
— Excuse me? Kafka and I did a good job of patching you up, if we haven't helped, you would be feeling much worse. Don't be an ungrateful brat, — Ren said, back to sounding irritated, glaring at Yanqing, who nervously swallowed, suppressing the urge to move away from Ren's threatening presence, and made haste to correct himself. He was supporting Ren's point, he just didn't phrase his thoughts in the best way. All this stress sure was getting to him if he couldn't even speak right anymore.
— I didn't mean it like that! I meant that I still don't feel good even after your help, so I can't imagine how much worse I would've felt if you haven't helped me, — Yanqing exclaimed, leaning forward, his earlier apprehension temporarily forgotten, trying to get his point across this time, and thankfully now Ren seemed to understand him correctly.
— Oh. Yes, you would've fared much worse without Kafka. How are you feeling right now? Still cold? — Ren asked impassively, with just a hint of curiosity. But now that he brought Yanqing's attention to it, he had to admit that he did feel a little too cool, unable to warm up despite the multiple layers of clothing that he was wearing. He had assumed that either the air inside the spaceship was just that cool or he was feeling a little cold after being unconscious and motionless for seemingly a while. He thought his weird state would return to normal once he walked around a bit, yet his dizziness and sickness didn't fade, the pain remained and he was still a little too cold, stuck feeling uncomfortable in his own skin.
— I guess I am a little cold, I thought it wasn't abnormal and would pass, but... is something wrong? Is there a reason for this? — Yanqing asked, getting more and more anxious, wrapping his arms around himself, yet still unable to warm up, which only caused the fear inside him to spread. At this point he wasn't sure whether he was trembling from the coldness or fear. The mystery of what had happened to him was getting increasingly more worrying.
— I don't know, but you were very cold when we found you, almost as cold as a corpse, — Ren said seriously, without a hint of exaggeration, and if what he said was indeed true, then despite being unsure of what exactly it entailed yet, Yanqing was already sufficiently terrified of what had happened to him. If he had almost died, how was he still breathing, his heart beating, his brain and body functioning the same way they always have been? There were all kinds of rumors that surrounded Stellaron Hunters and Kafka specifically, but none mentioned the ability to miraculously bring people back from the brink of death.
— How am I still alive then? What's going on? What happened to me? — Yanqing asked, panic seeping into his voice. Was the pervasive uncomfortable coldness that has crept under his skin and refused to leave going to accompany him forever? But why? What happened to him? Why was he akin to a walking corpse now? He couldn't be dead, his heart was beating, even if perhaps slower than usual, unable to speed up even now, when he was one step away from a full-blown panic, but the low temperature of his body couldn't not be concerning. Were all these physical abnormalities the reason his whole body ached and he felt so sick now? However, there was another important question, what mattered just as much was whether these physical oddities were temporary or if they were permanent alterations to Yanqing's physique.
— You don't remember? — Ren's voice pierced through the panic induced fog that has clouded Yanqing's mind, putting a hand on his shoulder. It felt grounding, anchoring him to reality, and warm, even through the multiple layers of clothes that Yanqing was wearing. Instead of getting overwhelmed by negative thoughts, Yanqing tried to focus on his conversation with Ren, racking his brains attempting to recall the last thing he remembered happening.
— I remember being on Luofu. Now that you've told me that I seemed to have been on a mission that went wrong, I do vaguely remember being sent off on a mission. I think, it wasn't meant to be difficult, it was supposed to make for good experience, but that's not what ended up happening... — Yanqing muttered slowly, pulling obscure memories out of his mind bit by bit, and as he thought about them, they gained more clarity. He could now recall departing from Luofu and arriving to the planet that was his destination, although the closer he got to the point when everything presumably went wrong, the harder it became to recall the exact details of what had happened.
— And I'm guessing you don't recall what exactly happened? Have you seen yourself in the mirror? Maybe that might jog your memory, — Ren said, shocking Yanqing with his suggestion. Was there something wrong with his appearance? Almost unwillingly, he touched his face with one of his hands, trying to feel for any bumps or signs of something being wrong. As his hand slowly drifted over his face, he looked helplessly at Ren, whose gaze seemed to be drawn to a particular spot on Yanqing's face.
— Have I seen myself in the mirror? What's wrong with me? — Yanqing asked fearfully, realizing that he definitely hasn't caught a glimpse of his face anywhere yet, the hand lightly touching the skin of his face freezing. Ren sighed, then after a moment of pensive silence, took Yanqing's still hand and brought it towards a certain point on the other side of his face, brushing aside blond locks of hair that were in the way, then retracting his own hand, giving Yanqing some space to panic freely as he felt the uneven surface of his cheek, stretching from his jaw to his eye, then continuing over his eye until his hairline. If Yanqing had to compare the weird sensation to something, it felt like this side of his face was scarred, yet he couldn't recall sustaining any injuries. Moreover, to add to the weirdness of the situation, his eye seemed to be untouched, his vision as good as it always has been in both of his eyes.
— What's wrong with my skin? — Yanqing whispered, horrified, hoping to hear an answer from Ren, yet also scared of what he was going to learn. Measuring Yanqing with an inexplicable glance, Ren looked away, falling silent, demonstrating that he wasn't going to answer Yanqing's question, either because he didn't know or didn't want to divulge this information. After a few moments of silent panic and imagining all the different ways one half of his face could be scarred, Yanqing saw Silver Wolf approach him, offering him a solution in the form of a pocket mirror.
— Here, take a look for yourself, — she said, her lips pressed into a thin line. She didn't seem willing to talk about Yanqing's condition either, just handing him the pocket mirror and stepping away. He wasn't sure whether he wanted to see what his face looked like, but the pocket mirror was in hands and not looking at himself wouldn't change the fact that there was something wrong with his face. Sucking in a shaky breath, Yanqing brought the mirror closer to his face, then tilted it towards the scarred side of it. His heart dropped at what he saw.
The skin on one side of his face was uneven, vine like bumps stretching across it, evening out in some places, as if going under his skin, then returning. He wasn't sure whether these were actual vines under his skin or if he was merely imagining feeling them between his flesh. Visibly, they were akin to scars, not too pronounced, but they were definitely noticeable. Moreover, the skin around them felt rougher too. But that wasn't even the most worrying thing.
His eyes, previously a dark golden color, were now much redder. Not nearly as red as Ren's, one of his eyes was just a little redder on the spectrum, so someone who hardly knew him might not even notice the color change, but his other eye, the one on the scarred side of his face, was palpably redder, somewhere between Yanqing's previous golden color and deep blood red. It was noticeable, very. Not that the scarred half of his face wasn't already a dead giveaway that something was wrong with Yanqing. But what happened that caused such a horrifying change in his appearance? Helpless and unsure how to react, Yanqing lowered the pocket mirror and looked up at Ren, his mind filled with questions, his heart palpitating with fear.
— Is this... mara? But I'm nowhere near the age when mara gets worse. And my mara has definitely been stable, I've had a check up recently, but then why... — Yanqing muttered dejectedly, anxiously, confusion and terror creating a nauseating mix inside him that made his hands tremble and cold shiver run down his spine. It was hard to believe that his mara could've grown worse so quickly and without any basis.
There was still the question of the scarring that was disfiguring almost half of his face too. What could've possibly caused it and was there any way to reverse it? Lifting his hand back towards the disfigured part of his face, Yanqing frowned at the prominent bumps that he felt. This didn't feel like something that could be healed easily.
Yanqing tried to rack his brains again, attempting to recall what had happened during the mission that ended up going wrong, but nothing came up in his mind that could explain the horrifying changes to his appearance. However, an unrelated but no less worrying realization did dawn on him. If Stellaron Hunters found him and were the first to offer him their aid, what happened to all the other Cloud Knights that were supposed to be with Yanqing? Were none of them in his vicinity or did a more tragic fate befall them? Yanqing had a bad feeling about the answer.
— Judging by what we observed, Kafka and I have reached the conclusion that when your mission went awry, something must've forcefully accelerated the growth of mara in you. That's what seems to have happened to everyone else whose corpses we saw. Although, due to their older age and further progression of mara in their systems, the growth of their mara has reached the final stage and they seem to have succumbed to it completely... I'm sorry, — Ren explained to Yanqing, shedding a lot of light onto events that had transpired, even if Yanqing wasn't sure that he was ready to hear that everyone else was dead and he was the sole survivor. He felt sick. He wanted to believe that someone else must've gotten away with their life, yet Ren sounded so serious and sincere when he offered his condolenses, and Yanqing doubted he would've apologized if the situation wasn't that dire.
His chest felt hollow, his gaze blank as he continued to look up at Ren, waiting for him to fill the silence that felt like it was weighing down on him. He didn't know what to feel, how to react, and he was afraid that if he allowed the dam to break, he would be swept away by the onslaught of emotions that these devastating news brought. If everyone else was dead, why did he survive? Why did he have to break down under the weight of what had happened alone? Moisture gathered in the corners of his eyes.
— As for you, the acceleration of mara caused you to only temporarily lose yourself, probably after witnessing how everything went wrong and being overwhelmed by emotions. Negative feelings, associated with either current events or bad memories, tend to trigger episodes of mara, during which the individual loses control of themselves and lashes out at their surroundings, — Ren continued elaborating, though Yanqing felt like he was listening to him through static, still stuck on the first piece of news that Ren shared with him. He couldn't believe everyone else was dead. So many lives, and not one of them was he able to protect.
He didn't notice when he lowered his head and tears began falling from his eyes, some sliding down his face, some falling onto his lap. He was still close to Ren, yet it felt like his voice was far away, and Yanqing barely noticed when Ren fell silent, noticing that his audience was hardly listening anymore. What did catch Yanqing's attention, making him flinch and let out a wet gasp, was a snap of fingers right in front of his face. Squeezing his eyes, pushing out the tears, causing them to fall sooner, then blinking away the remaining moisture from his eyes, Yanqing looked up at Ren, questioningly staring at him through the still slightly blurry vision.
— So, try not to think about what had happened for now, let's wait for Kafka to return, so she can be there to calm you down if you lose control of yourself again, — Ren continued talking as if nothing happened, then held Yanqing's gaze, waiting for him to give his agreement to these terms. Slowly, Yanqing nodded, but offered no other reply, his thoughts spiraling down again. Remembering how Ren was when he let his mara loose, Yanqing shivered in discomfort, unsure if he wanted to risk ending up the same way, so it would be best to comply and wait for Kafka to return, lest the solution to him losing control would be injuring him badly enough to incapacitate him. He already felt bad enough physically as it is.
Slumping in the kitchen chair, Yanqing demonstrated that he was going to comply with Ren's recommendation and not think too hard about the past events, and the man gave him one last cursory glance before walking further into the kitchen, towards where Silver Wolf was fussing over something, alternating between playing her game and adding finishing touches to whatever was in the deep plate on the kitchen counter. Steam rose appetizingly from the hot dish.
With the backs of the two Stellaron Hunters turned to him, Yanqing wiped his eyes, then laid his arms on the kitchen table next to him and rested his chin on them, feeling a little dizzy, his vision beginning to swim. Staying still and relaxed helped ease these symptoms. Staring at the table's surface, his bangs obscuring his face, Yanqing leant his forehead against his crossed arms, trying to calm down and not think about anything negative. He really didn't want to lose control of himself. He tried to recall the more pleasant of his memories and enjoy the tranquil state that he has managed to fall into.
Not paying attention to the footsteps in the kitchen as Silver Wolf and Blade moved around, Yanqing was startled out of his reverie when something was put on the table right in front of him. He tilted his face upwards to find Silver Wolf looking down on him, pridefully holding her head up high, her eyes gleaming in anticipation.
Impressed by the strong emotion on her face, Yanqing curiously leant towards the dish, moving it closer to himself and peering inside the deep plate. The smell made his stomach rumble and his mouth water, and he felt warmer simply at the thought of how pleasant eating a hot meal would be. He absentmindedly took the fork that Silver Wolf handed to him before sitting down opposite of him, sipping on a drink and devoting her full attention to the game console in her hands, only sneaking occasional glimpses at him to check if he tried the meal or not yet.
Deciding not to waste time and satisfy both Silver Wolf's and his own curiosity sooner, Yanqing dug into the appetizing meal in front of him, somewhat awkwardly using the fork, more used to chopsticks. The noodles had a nice texture, and the condiments and vegetables enriched the taste. Having taken the first taste of the dish, Yanqing lowered the fork and looked towards Silver Wolf, catching her gaze on him.
— It's really good! Thank you, — Yanqing said with a smile, earning an approving hum from Silver Wolf, who returned to her video game, now giving it her full attention. He briefly caught Ren looking at him from where he stood near the kitchen counter, but the man soon turned away, occupied with fussing over something. Yanqing returned his gaze towards the warm meal in front of him, eager to go back to eating the hot noodles and steaming broth, the first taste having warmed him up so well that he wanted more simply to keep the coldness at bay. Not that he wasn't enjoying it for the reason of it simply being delicious.
A cup filled with some steaming liquid was placed in front of Yanqing, carrying a faint sweet aroma. Despite his initial desire to take a closer look at it, Yanqing first questioningly glanced up at Ren, who has put the drink there. Perhaps seeing Yanqing's confusion, Ren moved the cup closer to him, making it clear that it was meant for him. He held another cup in his other hand, and judging by Silver Wolf absentmindedly reaching out for it but being too far away to grab it, it was meant for her.
— There, you need to stay hydrated, — Ren elaborated, meaningfully glancing at Yanqing's drink, then stepping away, and Yanqing let out a nod of understanding, moving the drink even closer to himself, almost letting out a pleased sigh when his cool hand made contact with the warm glass of the cup. He didn't want to stop touching it, so he put both of his hands around the cup before bringing it to his mouth, taking a tentative sip.
He couldn't tell whether it was hot enough to burn his tongue or if it was just mildly warm. All he felt was the pleasant warmth spreading through him. Reluctant to let go of the warm glass surface of the cup, Yanqing nevertheless forced himself to put it aside to continue eating the meal, lest he finishes the drink before he gets a chance to have another taste of the noodles. He didn't know whether Silver Wolf would find that offensive, but he certainly didn't want to tempt fate.
Returning to his still steaming dish, feeling warmth slowly spread through the entirety of his body, Yanqing allowed himself to relax, distantly feeling himself melt against the kitchen table like an ice cube in room temperature, and wasn't that an ironic and strangely fitting comparison. Suppressing a yawn, he stuffed another bite of noodles into his mouth, slowly chewing and lazily nudging the pieces of vegetables that floated in the broth, feeling incredibly sleepy despite having awoken less than an hour ago.
After having finished the meal and replenished his strength, Yanqing did feel better physically. The effect was palpable, although the dull headache lingered and his body still ached from strain and exhaustion. After Silver Wolf took her leave, saying something about a game event that she needed to be on her computer for, Yanqing was left in the kitchen alone with Ren.
The silence continued as Ren put away the empty tableware, for now leaving it by the sink, prioritizing focusing his attention on Yanqing and handing him some medicine. As Yanqing inspected the pills, Ren retrieved a clean cup and filled it with water. Wordlessly, Yanqing understood that the pills meant to be swallowed. Taking the pills into his hand and looking up at Ren, Yanqing didn't hear any objections from the man in regards to what he was about to do, so he must've understood Ren correctly and the pills were indeed meant to be swallowed. Just to confirm, Yanqing broke the silence and asked what the medicine was supposed to do. It would be weird to just trust the Stellaron Hunters implicitly. What if they had ulterior motives? Then again, Ren could just lie and Yanqing would take the pills anyway.
Expectedly, Ren's explanation of the medicine's purpose was sound, nothing suspicious about it. Well, here goes nothing. After giving Ren a shaky nod of understanding, Yanqing slowly brought the pills closer, then quickly swallowed them, taking large gulps of refreshing water, not giving himself an opportunity to back down. Distantly, he noted that Ren must've warmed up the water for him, because it definitely didn't match the current room temperature.
The two of them didn't linger in the kitchen afterwards and headed back to the room where Yanqing had woken up, which apparently belonged to Ren, so the man could explain to him the rules of being on the spaceship of the Stellaron Hunters as well as tell him about the routine that Yanqing would need to follow now that he's conscious and could take actions needed to recover from what had happened to him sooner, at least until Kafka returns and possibly makes adjustments to his recovery process. Ren still refused to divulge what exactly had happened to Yanqing, talking about it vaguely, but it was clear that he knew more than he was letting on.
Listening to Ren, Yanqing absentmindedly nodded along, unable to keep his mind from wandering. Kafka and Ren really were putting a lot of effort into looking after his well-being. It was weird, seemingly unnecessary and not of much benefit to them, but Yanqing could hardly complain about it, because he didn't know where he would've been without their help. Dead, maybe. And he certainly didn't want to die anytime soon, so he was thankful that the Stellaron Hunters helped him, even if there might've been a hidden agenda they were pursuing, like a favor from Jing Yuan. Surely they could get Luofu's general to owe them one for helping his prized pupil, ripe with potential, already shouldering important duties of a Cloud Knights lieutenant. Yanqing was a useful asset to Xianzhou Luofu.
As Ren opened the door to the room, walking in first, but holding the door wider so Yanqing could slip inside right behind him, a disconcerting thought crossed Yanqing's mind. He uneasily glanced at Ren, unsure if he should voice it out, mostly afraid of the answer he would receive. If he would receive one. After all, on purpose or not, Ren seemed intent on remaining cryptic about what was going on with Yanqing.
— So, am I mara-struck now? — Yanqing asked dejectedly, sitting down on the bed, his body yearning to rest, both because of the sudden sleepiness and the general weariness that the ache permeating his body caused. Contrary to the exhausted state of his body, his mind was alert as he fearfully waited for Ren to either confirm or deny his conclusion about him being mara-struck now. And the dreaded confirmation came. Sucking in a sharp breath, Yanqing felt incredible sadness, yet at the same time with certainty came lightness and odd relief. Now that he knew what he was, he knew how to feel about it and there was no need to keep imagining worst case scenarios.
— Yes, partially, — Ren said calmly, neutrally, only briefly glancing at Yanqing, who stared blankly at the floor, unsure how to feel, unable to process the information. He just felt hollow. What was going to happen to him now? Could he really return to Xianzhou Luofu like this? And if not, where would he go? All of this was too much to think about at once, and Yanqing let out a sigh, wrapping his arms around himself and feeling torn between wanting to laugh from the ridiculousness of it all and cry from the terror that he felt in regards to his future.
— I can't go back to Luofu like this, can I? — Yanqing said quietly, more musing out loud than expecting a genuine answer, for it was fairly obvious. Still, he glanced up at Ren, who paused in his movements, meeting Yanqing's gaze. But seconds passed, and the man didn't provide an answer, instead averting his eyes before turning away, reluctant to reply, sparing Yanqing from receiving either a painful truth or an empty reassurance. But the meaningful silence was enough of a confirmation.
Although the scenery outside the windows didn't change, perpetual darkness swirling around the countless stars that shone brightly, yet their light not enough to dispel the inky blackness of the infinite cosmos, the time still passed, and night crept closer. Despite the initial sleepiness, the inner turmoil ate away at Yanqing, cancelling any desire to sleep, instead leaving him restless and wide awake, even despite the fatigue that heavily weighed down on him.
To add to his predicament, as if all the mental turmoil wasn't enough, there was another reason for his persistent restlessness. The feeling that squeezed his heart and made it palpitate, caused tears to well up in the corners of his eyes, it must've been what people called homesickness, because Yanqing missed his bedroom, the warmth of it, the quiet chirping of the birds outside, the occasional sounds of starskiffs flying by above, the rare padding of Mimi through the hallway whenever she was sleepless, usually when Jing Yuan wasn't home for the night or hasn't gone to bed yet. The spaceship of Stellaron Hunters was way too quiet by comparison, silent and unwelcoming. It made him yearn for the home that he was far away from, unable to return to, perhaps forever.
With his perception of time warped in the darkness and fatigue, Yanqing couldn't discern whether he has been lying awake for an hour or several, but eventually the complete silence of the night was disturbed by a faint recurring noise in the hallway outside. Immediately, Yanqing listened in, curious and eager to latch onto anything that dispelled the unnerving silence. He was startled when he realized that the noise was growing closer, as if heading for the room he was in. Though, he wanted to believe that whoever it was, they would just pass by the room he was in. At the same time, some part of him yearned for company, anyone's, as long as he wouldn't be alone.
Both expectedly and unexpectedly, the footsteps halted by the room that Yanqing was in, and after a few seconds, the door was quietly opened. Stilling completely, Yanqing didn't dare move and sneak a peek at the person who entered the room. Though, he couldn't name the reason for such reaction. He could hardly bring himself to be wary of the Stellaron Hunters, seeing as they seemed invested in keeping him healthy and alive. He also wasn't embarrassed about being caught awake at such a late hour, when he was supposed to be asleep, gaining strength and energy for the next day.
So, realizing that rationally he had no reason to pretend to be asleep, Yanqing raised himself on his elbows, blinking fatigue out of his eyes and squinting at the person who entered the room. The shuffling of the blanket caught their attention, and they stilled, looking in Yanqing's direction, as if not having expected to find him awake and concerned that they might've been the reason he woke up.
— You're still awake? Sorry to intrude, I needed to grab something and didn't want to wake you up over such a trivial reason, — Ren said in a hushed, almost gentle voice, unwilling to disturb the silence, though Yanqing would've preferred it if he did instead of acting cautious around him and looking like he wanted to leave as quickly and silently as possible, as if he wasn't there to begin with.
— It's fine, it's your room. I don't mind, — Yanqing muttered, powerless to do anything other than observe Ren while he was here, even if in less than a minute the room would descend back into complete silence and pressing loneliness would return. As soon as Ren was done retrieving what he came here for, he headed to the door out of the room, briefly glancing at Yanqing only to say goodbye.
— Good night, — Ren said before quietly closing the door behind him, purging the room back into darkness. Yanqing was compelled to pull back the thick curtains so at least the bright stars illuminate the lonely room and keep him company. Blinking away the fatigue from his eyes, Yanqing slowly and awkwardly got up, his body exhausted, his movements disoriented, but he still managed to get to the window and with some effort pull back the heavy curtains. One of his hands lingered on the edge of the tall curtain.
For a moment, he ceased moving altogether, looking at the stars in awe, mesmerized. This wasn't a sight he could've ever witnessed from Xianzhou Luofu, the artificial sky concealing the cosmos beyond. Still, he missed the comforting familiarity of his home. Tears welled up in the corner of Yanqing's eyes, and he unconsciously clutched the edge of the curtain tighter in his hand.
He stood motionless for a few more moments. Then, with a wet exhale, he shook his head, let go of the curtain and walked back to the bed, heavily lying down. More tears kept coming uncontrollably, and Yanqing let them slide down his face and fall onto the pillow. Curling up under the blanket, yet unable to find warmth or dissipate the crushing loneliness, he quietly wept.
Heading through the dark hallway with familiarity, Ren soon enough returned to Silver Wolf's room, closing the door behind him. The lights in the room were dimmed, so Ren's vision was immediately assaulted by bright and occasionally flashing lights from the big screen of one of Silver Wolf's monitors as the gamer herself was engaged in one of the games. She spared the glance at him when he walked in, and something must've caught her attention because her gaze lingered on him despite the game that was still going on in front of her, unpaused, her character remaining motionless and allowing itself to be hit.
— Was something wrong with the kid? — Silver Wolf asked, squinting her eyes suspiciously at Ren, before swearing under her breath, just quietly enough for Ren to not make out the exact words, and hurriedly returning to her gaze, attempting to salvage the situation and not lose despite sustaining a lot of damage due to the earlier distraction.
— Nothing much. Well, it seems like he has been crying. But he didn't say anything about something being wrong, — Ren said, shrugging, earning a hum of acknowledgment from Silver Wolf. The silence should've indicated that this conversation was over, but the pensiveness remained on Ren's face, and the next time Silver Wolf's game was loading a new location and she managed to sneak a glance at him, she took note of his odd mood as well.
— Maybe it's just- What do they call it... Ah! Homesickness, — Silver Wolf began saying, trailing off when the game was done loading a new level, her gaze immediately darting back to it. She pressed a few buttons before she was able to absentmindedly continue the conversation, slowly finishing her train of thought. Ren nodded, and for some time the two of them remained silent, the only sounds filling the room being those of Silver Wolf pressing buttons and pushing the joystick, her headphones good enough to not let through any of the game's background music or sound effects. Still, when Ren spoke up next, she heard him right away.
— And what can be done about it? — Ren asked absentmindedly, more musing out loud than continuing his conversation with Silver Wolf. Still, after a few seconds, upon reaching a safe location and being able to take a break from the real-time combat, she spun around in her rotating chair and faced Ren, propping her elbow against the armrest and leaning her cheek against her palm.
— I dunno. Let him get over it? But if it bothers you, invite him to our sleepover, maybe some company and distraction would help him take his mind off his homesickness, — Silver Wolf suggested, shrugging her shoulders, looking away, her thoughts evidently wandering elsewhere. Ren mulled over the solution she proposed, somewhat surprised by her decision to invite someone she doesn't know very well and hasn't shown much interest in to her room and her so-called sleepover. Really, it was just Ren keeping her company while she played her games, trying to get her to head to bed not at an ungodly hour for once.
— Are you sure? — Ren asked, not having expected Silver Wolf's suggestion at all. But she just looked entirely nonchalant about it. Perhaps there was a hidden agenda she was pursuing. Like roping someone else into playing multiplayer games with her. She has long stopped nagging Ren into doing it after having witnessed his atrocious gaming skills and genuine lack of interest in improving them and she had yet to find someone to consistently play multiplayer games with her. For now, all she could do was seize the opportunity when it presented itself.
— Why not, — Silver Wolf said with a small chuckle, throwing one last glance in Ren's direction before returning to her game, scrolling through the list of equipped items and shuffling them around, purchasing some and discarding others. Ren turned his attention away from the screen of her monitor, instead occupying himself with figuring out how they would fit another person into Silver Wolf's room when there was only a bed and a couch and both were already occupied, presuming that Silver Wolf goes to bed tonight.
Swiping his palm across his face, Yanqing wiped away the remaining moisture, his eyes aching from the amount of crying he has done. He hid his face back in the blanket, hugging it to his chest as if it would offer him some comfort. Expecting to spend the rest of the night like this, closing his eyes and retreating into the depths of his mind, Yanqing was oblivious to the world. Thus, he was taken by surprise when footsteps approached the bed he was occupying. His eyes widened, and he turned his head towards the source of the noise, alarmed, right as a tall figure sat down on the edge of the bed.
— Ren? — Yanqing muttered groggily, squinting at the figure in front of him and quickly recognizing the Stellaron Hunter. The man hummed acknowledgingly, yet said nothing, continuing to scrutinize Yanqing, as if trying to find something on his face. Feeling self-conscious and embarrassed, Yanqing tilted his head away and rubbed his eyes again, wondering if any moisture has lingered on his face and possibly caught Ren's attention.
A few more seconds passed in awkward silence, at least on Yanqing's end. Then, Ren stood up, leant closer and scooped up Yanqing into his arms along with the blanket that he was wrapped in. All Yanqing could was let out a confused and startled yelp as he was suddenly and without any warning lifting into the air.
— H-huh? What are you doing?! — Yanqing exclaimed, grasping Ren's shoulder, though the man seemed to have zero issues holding him and the blanket like this, so there was no need to be afraid of being dropped. Yanqing's panicked eyes met Ren's stoically calm ones, as if the man saw nothing wrong with the situation that he created. If the circumstances were different, Yanqing would've flailed and demanded to be let go, but currently he was too baffled and disoriented to do anything other than gape in utter bewilderment at Ren.
— You seem to have been unable to fall asleep thus far. So, Silver Wolf and I made a decision to keep you company in case it helps you stop stewing in loneliness and gets you to sleep. You're still recovering, you need as much rest as you can get, — Ren said reasonably, and Yanqing would've considered the suggested change of surroundings if the decision wasn't already made for him and Ren wasn't carrying him out of the room already.
— Wait, I'm fine here, really. Put me down! — Yanqing hastily said, helplessly looking at the room behind him, then at Ren, who remained unperturbed. Although he did stop, he only questioningly raised an eyebrow at Yanqing, clearly doubting the truthfulness of his words. Perhaps the dried tear streaks on his face and redness and puffiness of his eyes didn't help his case.
— Yeah, I can see how fine you are, — Ren said before continuing to head out of the room, opening the door with his elbow, then walking down the dark hallway where lights were significantly dimmed, signifying that it was nighttime. It must be hard to keep track of the day and night cycle on a spaceship where the view outside was unchanging.
Still uncertain of what going to happen, having gotten used to lying down in the dark with only his thoughts to accompany him, Yanqing remained tense in Ren's arms, fearfully looking around. He was unsure of what he was wary of, but he couldn't relax either, which was painfully obvious to Ren as well, who stopped, looking intently at Yanqing. The boy froze, but his body remained as tightly wound is a spring.
— Calm down, what are you panicking about? Wouldn't Silver Wolf's and my company help? If you mind, then all right, I won't force you to go anywhere. But you don't seem to be doing too good on your own, — Ren said calmly, his gaze almost hardening into a glare, but he seemed to consciously keep himself from doing it. Yanqing looked away, uncertain about his answer.
— I don't know... — he admitted with solemn honesty. He really wasn't sure if his homesickness could be dispelled by him not being alone or if it would be made worse by the company of two strangers. Taking Yanqing's indecisiveness as lack of outright denial, Ren made the decision for him, resuming his walk towards Silver Wolf's room.
— Well, let's find out, — he said calmly, and Yanqing could only let out an uncertain nod and slump in Ren's hold, clutching the blanket closer to himself. After a few moments, he submitted to his fate, letting out a defeated sigh and leaning his head against Ren's shoulder, curiously noting down the warmth radiating from the man. Perhaps Yanqing was so cold that Ren seemed startingly warm by comparison.
Having fallen into a dream like daze, awareness of his surroundings has slipped through Yanqing's fingers like sand, and he didn't realize when Ren has reached their destination and stepped into a room, lit up by screens of the monitors that stood on the desk by one of the walls, a person sitting on the chair in front of it, wholly immersed in her game. But Yanqing was completely oblivious to it.
The pleasant warmth and the calming fog inside his mind were lulling Yanqing into blissful slumber. But it was disturbed when he was lowered onto some soft surface and the warmth began pulling away. He let out a sleepy groan of protest. To add it to it, he was grasped by the shoulder and shook, someone intent on pulling him out of this pleasant reverie. To make his disagreement more clear, Yanqing reached after the warmth, mumbling unintelligibly in dissatisfaction.
— Yanqing? Let go, — the rough voice said, not harshly, but with insistence, patience too. Though Yanqing could be plenty insistent too, especially when he had a single-minded focus on something and his willpower wasn't strong enough to break him out of the clutches of desire. And right now he didn't even know why he was supposed to let go when holding on was simply so pleasant.
— Mhm? Don't wanna, you're warm, — Yanqing muttered in an explanation, hoping this argument would be sufficient to dissuade the other person, who kept an unyielding grip on his shoulders, intent to keep him at a distance. With a dissatisfied sigh and a frown on his face, Yanqing forced himself to acknowledge the biting coldness that took hold of him and open his eyes, seeing as the previous state of blissful reverie began dissipating anyway.
Through hazy vision, his gaze met Ren's blood red eyes. Ren rose an unimpressed eyebrow, not moving an inch, evidently waiting for Yanqing's sluggish mind to catch up to something, but as the fog persisted in Yanqing's mind, this important piece of information eluded him, and he stared at Ren in sincere lack of understanding of what was going on. The silence was disturbed by another voice coming from elsewhere in the room.
— Ren is, isn't he? A little too warm sometimes, — the nonchalant female voice said with a hint of amusement, and Yanqing slowly processed the meaning of her words, struggling to make the connection between them and what was currently going on, uncertain how it related to him. It was like he could hear people speak, but the exact meaning of their words eluded him unless he thought hard enough about them.
— What am I, a personal heater? — Ren asked sarcastically, looking at the back of the girl in the chair on the other side in the room. Yanqing tried to look around, then lowered his gaze. That's when he realized what the problem might've been. He was still holding onto Ren, his hands clutching his jacket like a lifeline. Embarrassed, Yanqing let go of Ren's clothes and directed his gaze towards the ground, unsure of what to say and if he should apologize.
— Might as well be with how warm you are, — the female voice replied, still not turning away from her monitors though. Ren rolled his eyes, then looked back at Yanqing, noting down the fact that no one was holding onto him anymore. Feeling the coldness creep in under his skin, Yanqing had to keep himself from moving back into Ren's personal space.
Silver Wolf was right, whatever the reason is, Ren did seem to run warmer than a normal person. And if Yanqing wasn't the only one who has taken notice of it, it must be a legitimate trait of his rather than a product of Yanqing's imagination and warped sense of temperature. Taking notice of the trembling that has spread through Yanqing's body, Ren measured him with a long pensive look.
— If you really are that cold, I'll get you a heating pad, — Ren said calmly, getting up and heading out of the room, presumably to get the heating pad in question. Yanqing could only watch him leave in silence, already anticipating his return. A heating pad sounded like a good idea.
Though, as soon as the door slid shut behind Ren, a realization dawned on Yanqing. He was in Silver Wolf's company now, in her room too presumably. She didn't seem to be paying him much mind though, too preoccupied with whatever game she was playing, and Yanqing quietly made himself at home on the couch, leaning against the armrest and slowly looking around, his body slumping under the weight of all the exhaustion that he accumulated despite not doing much. Suddenly, a voice pierced the silence.
— You wanna play a game? — Silver Wolf asked, and upon turning his head in her direction, he noticed her looking at him, seemingly having found a moment to pause her game. Taken aback by the unexpected request, Yanqing hesitated, and under the insistence of her gaze, he felt even more disconcerted. He was reluctant to agree, lest he doesn't meet her expectations. He had no idea what he was supposed to do and how to play the game of hers.
— Uh, I don't know how, — Yanqing said nervously, harboring a faint hope that this will be enough to dissuade Silver Wolf and convince her that playing a game with him wouldn't be the best idea. He wouldn't be the an ideal playmate, and she seemed really good at this, there would be a big gap in their skill, and Yanqing was deterred by it. However, Silver Wolf wasn't.
— I'll show you. Come here, you can't be harder to teach than Ren, — Silver Wolf said, unbothered and persistent, briefly getting up to pull up a stool that was previously standing beside the desk. Letting out a sigh, Yanqing obliged and stepped closer, sitting down on the stool beside Silver Wolf's chair, immediately receiving a gaming controller. He awkwardly held it, unsure of where exactly each of his fingers was supposed to be placed.
With a shake of her head, Silver Wolf calmly corrected his grip, beginning explaining the placement of his fingers and what each button was supposed to do in the game they would be playing. With his head swimming from the overload of new information, Yanqing nevertheless tried to take in Silver Wolf's instructions, dutifully memorizing what he will be supposed to be doing.
Once he got over the lengthy explanation of controls and got used to holding the gaming controller the correct way, he actually began having some fun. Silver Wolf was patient with teaching him how to play the game, and it was fun trying to beat her, even if most of the time she merely enjoyed taunting him, letting him have fun figuring out different moves before swiftly ending the round with her victory, moving them to another level.
— Yet another victory, — Silver Wolf said once the final round was over, the screen displaying Yanqing's crushing defeat, though it only spurred him on, motivating him to keep playing to get better. He has improved quite a lot between the first round and the last one. He would get even better if he played more.
— I'm still learning, I'll beat you eventually! — Yanqing said excitedly, eagerly watching the screen as Silver Wolf ended the game and went to start another one. This time Yanqing was resolute to make her at least put effort into defeating him, and judging by the look on Silver Wolf's face, the challenge was on.
— In your dreams! — Silver Wolf said with self-confidence that wasn't misplaced but Yanqing was determined to make it so. Firmly grasping the gaming controller in his hands, he got ready for another attempt at beating Silver Wolf. Perhaps he should try some new characters and different strategies and see which one works the best for him. When the big screen of the middle monitor was done loading, Yanqing immediately got to playing, dedicating his full attention to the game. From the corner of his eye, he noticed Silver Wolf send him an amused look before focusing on the game as well.
Time passed quickly as Yanqing and Silver Wolf started yet another round of the game. At some point Ren had returned to the room, talking about figuring out the sleeping arrangement for Yanqing and handing him the heating pad, but the boy hardly processed the meaning of his words, only hugging the heating pad to his chest, too focused on the game, his character close to suffering yet another defeat whereas Silver Wolf barely broke a sweat, reclining in her chair and unhurriedly pressing different buttons, wide awake, her mind clear.
Meanwhile, focusing on the screen was becoming increasingly more difficult for Yanqing, as was pressing buttons fast enough and not clicking the wrong one. He stifled yet another yawn, trying to blink away the fatigue and sleepiness out of his eyes, but he kept being one step away from dozing off, his eyes closing each time Silver Wolf won yet another round and the game took some time to load the new level. The warmth from the heating pad was further lulling him to sleep.
At some point, the blissful oblivion was finally to strong to keep resisting, and Yanqing fell in, his awareness of his surroundings waning, sounds growing muffled until only peaceful silence remained. His body growing weak, Yanqing slumped, a step away from falling asleep. However, with nothing to support his relaxed body, Yanqing almost lost balance, slumping forward until he was falling, catching himself at the last moment, jolting awake, blinking confusedly through bleary eyes.
— Hey, don't fall asleep on me! — Silver Wolf said in offense, glaring at Yanqing, who met her gaze before looking to the side, realizing that the game has already loaded and his character was just idling. Suddenly, Silver Wolf moved forward, catching Yanqing's controller before it would fall onto the ground, having slipped from his loose grasp. Cradling the heating pad closer to his chest so it doesn't fall as well, Yanqing apologetically glanced at the girl, who settled the controller safely on the table. Behind him, the sound of footsteps could be heard.
— Just let him sleep, Silver Wolf. You can resume playing games tomorrow. There will be more than enough time before you will have to leave for your mission, — Ren said, putting a hand over Yanqing's half closed eyes, as if compelling him to close them completely. Strangely, it worked, and Yanqing was slowly being lulled back to sleep, hardly processing what as going on anymore.
— Fine! — Silver Wolf said petulantly, returning her attention to the screen of her monitor, perhaps switching back to a single player game. Relaxing under the weight of exhaustion, in the back of his mind Yanqing thought for a second that he would start falling again, yet an arm winded around his torso and steadied him. Ren leant down, and Yanqing slumped against him as he picked the half asleep boy up, pulling away the hand that has been covering his eyes, but they stayed firmly shut as Yanqing continued to fall deeper into the clutches of slumber, unconsciously hugging the heating pad to his chest. Lifting his gaze from him to Silver Wolf, Ren addressed her before she would get too busy with her game.
— You need to go to bed too, — Ren said, but all he was looking at was Silver Wolf's back as she made a show of already being way too absorbed in her game, acting like she didn't hear him over the noise in her headphones. With a shake of his head, Ren made a decision to take care of one problem before moving onto the other one, looking at the peacefully slumbering boy in his arms. He slowly carried him to the couch, having prepared it for Yanqing to sleep on while he and Silver Wolf were occupied with their game.
After resting the boy's head on the pillow and covering him with the duvet, letting him sleepily adjust his limbs into a more comfortable position and curl around the warmth of the heating pad, Ren took a step back, giving Yanqing space, then turned towards Silver Wolf, for a few seconds merely watching her. If she felt his gaze on his back, she showed no sign of acknowledging it. With a sigh, Ren took a seat in the armchair that stood not too far away from the couch, keeping an eye on Yanqing's rest and watching Silver Wolf as she kept playing, as vigorous as ever, as if the late hour didn't affect her at all.
Some time has passed like this. The room was filled with silence, the only noises disturbing it being those of Silver Wolf clicking buttons and Yanqing's soft breaths, which gradually evened out as the boy seemed to finally warm up enough under the duvet, relaxing for good under the covers.
Eventually, Silver Wolf seemed to have finished her game, putting down the controller, reclining in her chair and stretching her arms upwards, letting out a yawn. Opening his eyes, Ren watched her close the game, shutting down her computer, then turning around in her spinning chair, her gaze sliding across the room before darting back to the occupant of the couch, then to Ren, who was originally supposed to sleep there.
— Wait, where are you going to sleep? — Silver Wolf asked, vaguely recalling that Ren had intended to figure out the sleeping arrangement for Yanqing, but that didn't seem to imply that he was going to sacrifice his own sleeping place. And obviously he wasn't going to sleep on the floor, not on Silver Wolf's watch. His old bones wouldn't be able to handle it. She would rather give up her own bed and spend the night awake.
— I can take the armchair. It's just one night, and I've slept in worse conditions, — Ren said calmly, and an objection was immediately on the tip of Silver Wolf's tongue. She got up from her chair, taking one more cursory glance around the room. The ideal option would be having Ren spend the night in his own room, where he had the proper mattresses to cushion his body, a joint gift from Silver Wolf and Kafka, but they were meant to be having a sleepover and Silver Wolf would prefer not to be left alone with the unwell Cloud Knights lieutenant. The most she could do was keep an eye on him, Kafka and Ren had been the ones actually tending to him. Not that he seemed to have needed much tending to after the recent changes to his constitution, but better safe than sorry.
— Nah, let's at least bring the mattresses from your room. I'd rather not have you complaining about the aches in your back or neck again, — Silver Wolf said, walking towards the door out of her room, motioning for Ren to follow her. He did, and after some time they successfully completed the task of arranging a new temporary sleeping place for Ren. Soon enough, everyone was settled for the night, the room being plunged into darkness, only dimly illuminated by the stars outside the window, and after a quick chat, Silver Wolf fell asleep too. With soft sounds of breathing acting as a lullaby, Ren closed his eyes as well.
All in all, Yanqing's life on the spaceship of the Stellaron Hunters was going better than he could've ever imagined it going. The intergalactic criminals were rather friendly. Perhaps they simply weren't taking Yanqing seriously and didn't view him as a threat, but he appreciated the lack of hostility nonetheless. He was immensely grateful for them taking care of him too, offering him food, a place to comfortably rest and medical help, company too.
Never in his life could Yanqing have thought that he would get along with intergalactic criminals, but Silver Wolf was a nice company. Her games worked well at distracting him from the state of his body, and he could appreciate her not prying into his personal business, not reminding him of the turn for the worse that his life has taken. He had enough anxious thoughts about it as it is, and they would always creep in whenever he was alone and could get lost in thought.
Surprisingly, Ren was nice company as well. And although unlike Silver Wolf, he had no qualms with bringing up the topic of Yanqing's changed constitution, he wasn't doing so with the desire to mock him, but rather, he seemed to have been trying to help Yanqing get a better understanding of what happened to him and how to live with it. For now, it was unknown if there was a way to resolve or reverse the changes to Yanqing's constitution.
Kafka has showed up occasionally, but her presence remained scarce. From what Yanqing has gleaned, she was currently quite preoccupied. Still, whenever she was present, they would try to explore Yanqing's condition, with her Spirit Whisper as a precautionary measure in case something goes wrong. They haven't managed to discover much so far, only reinforce the assumption that Yanqing was on his way to being mara-struck. At the same time, whatever had caused the acceleration of mara in Yanqing's body didn't just do that. Traces of Abundance now flowed through his veins as well, even though Yanqing couldn't recall ever catching the gaze of Yaoshi.
But even with the frequent company of the Stellaron Hunters, there were times when he was utterly alone, playing one of Silver Wolf's games or simply wandering the long hallways, sometimes stopping and simply watching the scenery outside, transfixed by the beauty of the cosmos. He wanted to etch it into his memory before he would return to Luofu, there would be hardly any time to gaze at the night sky then.
Yanqing stopped dead in his tracks, shocked by a horrifying recollection. Maybe he would never go back to Luofu again. He wouldn't be welcome here, not by anyone, perhaps not even by the general. Once again, the fog that clouded his future terrified him. The duration of Yanqing's stay with the Stellaron Hunters had never been discussed, and if they didn't treat him with such amicability, he would certainly be afraid of them kicking him out any day. Maybe he should ask about it once he gets better. For now, he was simply glad that they let him stay with them and didn't seem to mind his presence.
The scenery outside the enormous panoramic window was mesmerizing as usual. Sitting next to it on the floor, hugging his legs to his chest, leaning his chin against his knees, Yanqing watched the galaxies swirl in the infinite cosmos, stars twinkling at him amiably. The huge hallway, filled with darkness, was devoid of anyone else, and considering how few people were abroad the base of the Stellaron Hunters right now, there was a good chance no one would disturb Yanqing's bubble of solitude.
The atmosphere was calming, relaxing, almost providing a similar effect that Kafka's Spirit Whisper did. It was a little cold in the room, but that only made Yanqing try to snuggle his chest closer to his legs to preserve some warmth, it didn't make him want to move just yet. It's not like he could escape the coldness by moving anyway. But even like this, he felt oddly at peace, just watching the galaxies drift in the cosmos, no negative thoughts plaguing his mind. He was purposefully keeping it clear, trying to simply enjoy the moment.
Like this, he could almost doze off, his hunched form illuminated only by the light from the cosmos beyond the glass of the window. Yanqing knew that it must've been thick and sturdy, yet it was also perfectly transparent, providing a clear view of the sight beyond. Entranced, Yanqing didn't move an inch, his body falling into a state when a tiniest movements seemed like it would require the biggest of efforts, and he currently didn't possess the willpower to do it.
A quiet meow broke the silence, disturbing the tranquility, making Yanqing whip his head towards the source of the sound. His eyes soon fell onto the black cat that stood a good distance away, its bright eyes curiously watching him. Yanqing held its gaze, offering it a hesitant smile and a friendly wave of his hand. But he was still cold, so he soon put his hand back closer to his body to preserve some warmth. The cat continued to watch him with clever eyes.
— Hello, — Yanqing said quietly, carefully, uncertainly, watching the cat calmly step closer to him, at first keeping some distance, then cautiously walking closer, watching him the entire time. Yanqing held his breath, feeling oddly nervous, but the cat continued to step closer to him, taking elegant feline steps, and Yanqing tried to appear as harmless as possible to not scare it off. Eventually, the cat was next to Yanqing, sitting down and continuing to curiously watch him from there. Slowly reaching out his hand, the cat's clever eyes languidly following the movement, Yanqing outstretched it until it was hovering over the cat's head.
— Is it okay if I- — Yanqing asked, as slowly as possible moving the hand down so the cat has a chance to move away if it doesn't want to be touched. But instead of doing it, the cat did the opposite, leaning up towards Yanqing's hand. For a moment, the boy felt his breath hitch in his throat, his heartbeat accelerating from excitement and anticipation. In the next second, however, the cat recoiled, unwillingly hissing. Yanqing immediately moved his hand away as well, suddenly realizing what the issue was. The cat was warm, and Yanqing's hands were alarmingly cold by comparison, even through the gloves that Kafka had gotten him.
— Sorry! — Yanqing exclaimed, sincerely apologetic, his body moving away from the cat so it doesn't feel cold by being too close to him. But after the initial moment of surprise has passed, the cat leaned back towards Yanqing, despite the coldness that he must've been emitting, even through several layers of warm clothing. Changing his sitting position so he was now sitting on his legs, Yanqing pulled further away from the cat, not wanting to harm it.
— Sorry, I might be a little cold, I don't want you to feel cold too, you might end up getting sick or- — Yanqing said anxiously, but the cat seemed to completely ignore his words, jumping onto his lap and curling up there, acting undeterred by the coldness, even though Yanqing doubted that it didn't bother it. What a strange animal, it really shouldn't have wanted to be close to Yanqing. But he didn't want to shoo it away either.
The cat let out a meow, looking at Yanqing inquiringly, expectantly, as if it was waiting for something. Yanqing tentatively moved his hand towards it, self-consciously tugging the glove as far onto his hand as he could so there is no point of contact of his cold skin with the cat's warm body. This seemed to be what the cat was expecting because it leaned into the touch, this time persistently not shying away from it, even though it probably wanted to on an instinctive level.
Yanqing began softly patting the cat's head, moving down its back, then pulling his hand away, not letting it linger on the cat's body for too long, so the cold doesn't get a chance to seep in too quickly. The methodical motions were soothing, to Yanqing as well, but with hardly anything else to focus on, his mind began wandering until it eventually reached the topic that brought a frown onto his face. The movements of Yanqing's hand faltered as he looked to the side, furiously blinking away the wetness that welled up in the corners of his eyes.
— I miss Jing Yuan. I miss him so much, — Yanqing whispered, wiping away the tears that streamed down his cheeks with the hand that he wasn't petting the cat with. The cat glanced up at him, as if to show that it was ready to listen to his heartfelt worries, though Yanqing's gaze wasn't on it and instead was drawn back to the view beyond the huge panoramic window as he tried to find some solace in the calming presence of the cosmos and settle his racing emotions. It didn't work. Although he thought he has been holding up pretty well, the dam broke and now everything he has been trying to contain began pouring out.
— I feel like I've let him down so badly. He put so much effort into raising me, harbored high expectations for me, and now I can't even show my face on Xianzhou anymore. He would be so disappointed if he saw me like this, — Yanqing said, wiping his face with his sleeve, hiding his face in the crook of his elbow, desperately trying to calm down, feeling overwhelmed by his emotions. The last thing he wanted right now was for his mara to get worse.
— I miss him so much, but I don't think I ever want him to see me like this, — Yanqing concluded with a breathless whisper, then took deep breaths in and out, clearing his head. He briefly caught his reflection in the glass of the enormous window. His eyes were more red than they normally were. It truly was time to calm down. He has let some emotions pour out, now it was time to contain the remaining ones that have dwindled in intensity.
Although, because they didn't get expressed completely, it was only a matter of time before they would overflow and pour out later. But Yanqing didn't want them to stop existing either. He didn't want to not think about Jing Yuan. He didn't want to have to not think about his home. And he definitely didn't want to try to forget about it. Surely, there had to be another way. Perhaps he could find balance. Although it didn't seem like he was very successful at it so far. Pressure leaving his lap broke Yanqing out of his daze.
— Huh? Where are you going? — Yanqing asked, confused, but making no move to follow the cat. It didn't seem like it wanted to be followed anyway. With a slightly surprised expression, he watched the black cat quickly walk away, graceful in its movements as it quickly crossed the room, not looking back, as if its interest was suddenly piqued by something else and it no longer had a shred of curiosity in Yanqing, even though there seemed to be nothing that could've grabbed the cat's attention in the room. What an odd creature. Perhaps it followed some whim unknown to anyone else, or maybe it simply has gotten tired of being surrounded by the cold.
— Even a cat is fed up with my whining. This is why I can't face anyone like this, especially Jing Yuan, — Yanqing muttered, returning to his previous position with legs tucked to his chest and chin resting on his knees. After a few moments, he hid his face in the space between his legs and his body, shakily breathing out, his forehead pressed against his knees. He might've cleared his head of painful thoughts, but negative feelings still lingered, and he just felt like crying and feeling absolutely miserable, no matter how pathetic that made him.
At some point, with tears blurring his vision and his mind growing hazy with tiredness, Yanqing must've dozed off leaning against the cold glass of the panoramic window because he was forced into wakefulness when he heard the sounds of footsteps approaching. Slightly raising his head, feeling a little disoriented, Yanqing nevertheless immediately recognized the person in question, who wasn't supposed to be here and was instead meant to be busy with something else. But instead of looking up in a greeting, Yanqing returned to hiding his face, his loose hair framing it and providing more coverage so the person, who by now has reached him and stopped next to him, wouldn't see the tear stains on his face or the redness around his eyes that would make it obvious what he has been up to just recently.
— Hey, — Ren said curtly, taking a seat next to him with a small groan, as if the movement took effort from him. Forever an old man indeed. The thought made Yanqing's lips quirk upwards, but he quickly subdued the smile, thankful that Ren didn't get a chance to witness it. His presence by Yanqing's side was very distinct though, Ren was practically emanating warmth that Yanqing was really lacking.
— Hey, — Yanqing echoed impassively, not daring to sneak a peek at Ren, lest he would notice what kind of condition Yanqing's face was in. He briefly wondered if his irises have gotten redder, but he had no way to check without looking up, and he felt too self-conscious about having Ren witness him in such a pathetic state to do it. He was supposed to be strong, to be able to keep himself together, yet instead he was breaking down in tears like a kid.
— I heard you're not doing very well. Wanna talk about what's on your mind? — Ren said casually, his voice coming from somewhere quite above, so he must not have been staring holes into Yanqing's head, instead giving him some space by directing his gaze elsewhere, even if he still obviously chose to sit down next to him instead of just leaving him alone.
Shaking his head in refusal to talk, Yanqing still didn't say a word, but Ren seemed to have taken notice of the motion and acknowledged it because he only sighed, as if tired, even though no one forced him to come here and talk. Yanqing would've been just as content if he walked away this instance, even if it would be a little painful to be left alone in coldness again. But Ren didn't leave.
— Come on, you're freezing, and I've got plenty of warmth to share, — Ren said, wrapping an arm around Yanqing's shoulders and just leaving it there, letting Yanqing make a choice whether to accept or decline this. But the warmth was too appealing to refuse, and Yanqing found himself leaning against Ren's side, the warmth feeling pleasant. It was good that Ren had plenty to spare and wasn't bothered by this because all Yanqing had to give in return was biting coldness.
However, despite accepting Ren's half embrace, Yanqing still attempted to look away so Ren doesn't catch a glimpse of his face. Unfortunately, he failed. Ren must've still managed to sneak a peek at him when he was moving closer, so now he was looking expectantly at Yanqing, waiting for him to continue this conversation, not outright pressuring him to speak up, but the expectation was still there. Seeking out more warmth, Yanqing turned towards Ren and hid his face in his shoulder, his hands weakly grasping the sides of his jacket. The front of Yanqing's body finally felt the warmth, and when Ren loosely put his arms around him, Yanqing's back felt a little warmer as well. He really should've grabbed his heating pad when he decided to wander the hallways of the spaceship of the Stellaron Hunters.
For some time, Yanqing remained silent, closing his eyes and relishing in the warmth. Ren started to absentmindedly rub his shoulder. Perhaps it was the vulnerability and openness between them at this moment that compelled Yanqing to answer Ren's initial question and reveal what has been plaguing him. Perhaps Ren could provide some insight on this.
— It's Jing Yuan. I miss him. And I feel so ashamed of the idea of him ever seeing me like this. I'm thinking, wouldn't it be better if he never sees me again? — Yanqing mumbled in Ren's shoulder, but the silence of the room allowed the man to hear his muffled voice anyway. For some time, Ren didn't say anything, and Yanqing was overcome with uncertainty. He didn't know what to wish for. He missed Jing Yuan terribly, but he also felt so ashamed at the mere idea of Jing Yuan seeing him like this.
— That's not true. You're presumed dead right now, aren't you? I think the pain from losing you would be the greatest to him. He would be glad to know that you're alive, — Ren said contemplatively, and a wave of fear washed over Yanqing. Of course, he understood what him going missing in action entailed, but he never thought about the fact that Jing Yuan would be met with a situation that made it look like Yanqing is dead and would think that Yanqing is deceased.
— He thinks I'm dead... — Yanqing whispered, terrified, his body growing tense. He didn't know what to do with this information. There was nothing that could compare to the sudden emptiness that Yanqing felt upon realizing that Jing Yuan might think that he's no longer alive, that he's gone forever. However, seeing as that got Yanqing's attention, Ren latched onto it and pursued this topic further, making the frown on Yanqing's face deepen.
— Now, think about it like this, if he went missing in action, what would hurt more? Finding out that he's dead or finding out that he's not doing very good but he's okay and alive? — Ren said seriously, and Yanqing suppressed a wince. Ren wasn't wrong, Yanqing would rather Jing Yuan survives than dies, even if he won't be the same person anymore. Anyone would choose this.
But as much as Yanqing viewed Jing Yuan as a father figure, he was also Yanqing's mentor first and foremost, his superior too, and the lines between these relationships were blurry. Yanqing wasn't sure which was the right name for their relationship, and if there were more than one, how to properly balance them out. As a general of one of Xianzhou ships, Jing Yuan shouldn't welcome Yanqing back, for he was showing symptoms of being mara-struck, and there was only one outcome for those falling victim to mara. In fact, it would be a mercy if Jing Yuan didn't welcome him back instead of striking on the spot like an abomination he was. Yanqing didn't think Jing Yuan would kill him, but it is what his duties demanded of him.
— But what if he views this differently from me? I care about him a lot, but he's also my mentor and my superior, so- — Yanqing muttered, evidently indecisive, struggling to make up his mind. He wanted to believe Ren, but he also didn't want to get his hopes up. He didn't want to cross any boundaries. A balance between a personal and a professional relationship needed to be maintained, even if Yanqing struggled with fully grasping what this balance was and abiding by it.
— He is your mentor and your superior, there's no denying that, but he's also your father figure, and that ought to outweigh any other title in the matter of his concern for you. He cares about you a lot. He calls you his son, doesn't he? — Ren said pretty persuasively, and Yanqing held a pause, trying to think of counterarguments to Ren's words, yet nothing came to mind. Ren's educated guess wasn't wrong either, Jing Yuan did address him this way occasionally.
— Sometimes... — Yanqing muttered, slumping in defeat. For some time, no one spoke a word, and Yanqing mulled this topic over in his head. How much did his and Jing Yuan's personal relationship mean? How much did their professional one mean? And did it even matter anymore? There was hardly any professional relationship left now, only personal ties. Finally, Yanqing dared to look up, very soon meeting Ren's gaze.
— So what should I do? — Yanqing asked, hesitantly, uncertainly, but sincerely looking for advice. Ren has already expressed his outlook on this situation, and Yanqing felt himself becoming more and more inclined to share it. He stared up at Ren with hope, waiting for him to reply, to provide some resolution for his inner turmoil. And Ren seemed to genuinely think about a potential solution.
— We could find a way to contact him through the Astral Express, then perhaps you two could meet on a neutral ground, like abroad the Astral Express, and talk about this situation, — Ren suggested earnestly, and Yanqing slowly nodded in understanding and agreement. This sounded like quite a nice idea, although it presented a new issue. Yanqing hasn't had Astral Express see him in such a horrible state yet either, and he didn't feel the best about their possible reactions. The feeling of shame resurfaced inside him, but he stayed silent, too tired to break down in tears and become overwhelmed by misery for the second time.
With this conversation over, Ren unhurriedly gave a sign that he was about to get up, and Yanqing moved away, letting him do just that, merely observing him. But instead of walking away and leaving Yanqing alone, Ren reached out a hand to help him stand up and patiently held Yanqing's confused gaze, showing no intention of retracting his offer, leaving Yanqing no other choice but to accept help.
— Let's go now, this room is pretty cold, it's no wonder you're freezing, — Ren said expectantly, patiently and insistently waiting, and Yanqing absentmindedly nodded, accepting the help in getting up. The movement of standing up made him feel a tiny bit warmer. He stretched his limbs as he walked, not having realized when they had grown a little stiff and numb. Now, he could feel some warmth flooding back into them.
— I didn't realize I have gotten that cold... — Yanqing mumbled pensively, wrapping his arms around his body, staying a little behind Ren, who spared him an acknowledging glance before saying that he should be able to warm up soon enough with a hot drink, another layer of clothing and a heating pad. Yanqing absentmindedly nodded in agreement before asking whether Ren was supposed to be somewhere else doing something else right now. The reply he received in response was dismissive and irritating, washing away any traces of concern from Yanqing.
— If you're that worried about my responsibilities, then maybe you should help me with them, — Ren said with an amused smile, and Yanqing rolled his eyes. Still, he didn't refuse, only shrugging his shoulders in what was neither an agreement nor denial. It might be interesting to see what kind of work Ren was up to, it's not like Yanqing had much to do otherwise on the spaceship that belonged to the Stellaron Hunters. So even if he ended up helping Ren with some boring household duties, it was still more entertaining than moping around and wallowing in misery.
The opportunity to talk with members of the Astral Express came sooner than expected. Yanqing was accompanying Ren on a job, deciding that providing his combat prowess was the least he could offer to the Stellaron Hunters who have been taking such good care of him despite all the differences between them. As long as a job was quiet and stealthy and Yanqing wouldn't be recognized.
The crux of their today's job was Ren clearing out the Fragmentum infested area to make Kafka's job of searching for the item that the Stellaron Hunters were after easier, and with Yanqing helping Ren this would go quicker. Ren had no objections to his arrangement, and Kafka only hummed in agreement, confirming that Yanqing's involvement would indeed make Ren's job easier. With no one opposing to Yanqing offering his assistance, he ended up being an unofficial but helpful asset to the mission.
Now, Yanqing walked beside Ren with a sheathed bloodstained sword hanging by his hip, for he had no better weapon right now other than a random weapon that he has been leant temporarily, because his own had gone missing in the battle that he had barely survived, and not without horrifying consequences.
As they walked, Yanqing curiously observed the foreign planet's scenery. The sky was cloudy, rain falling down incessantly, air moist. It descended upon the lush greenery that was growing in unnatural abundance due to the favorable climate and the influence of the Stellaron that was the main cause of the incessant rain and unnatural prosperity of the local nature. All of this greenery was a stark contrast to the huge city that once upon a time seemed to have been a bustling metropolis with tall buildings, skyscrapers and construction sites on the edges of the city that showed that the metropolis was going to keep expanding. But the Stellaron put an end to these plans and caused most of the planet's civilization to evacuate, abandoning the city to be overgrown with plants and vines. The ones who eventually returned to the planet and established a small residential zone in the safer area of the planet were merchants who harvested local resources and sold them on the international markets. Despite the cold and dreary climate and pervasive humidity, the pay must've been good enough for them to stay.
Yanqing observed all of this with fascination as he tried to keep up with Ren and stay under his umbrella. If he gets soaked, he would only feel colder, and even the hot meal that he was about to get after hours of fighting under the rain wouldn't help him. Right now he felt more or less fine, having been able to dry off, so he couldn't afford to get wet again. Soon enough, the two of them stepped foot into the inhabited area, first merchant workshops coming into view, signifying that they were almost at the settlement.
— Let's resupply there and get something to eat, — Red said, and Yanqing nodded in eager agreement, feeling enthusiastic about the promised hot meal, excitement giving him energy to keep moving forward through the humid street. Studying the names of the different stores that have clearly been competing to find the cleanest, nicest corner to settle in, Yanqing watched out for anything that might be of use to them, something to aid them in their job of clearing out the Fragmentum perhaps, or a better sword for Yanqing, because his current one was noticeably heavier than he was used to and the shape was different as well, making him struggle a bit in combat.
A few raindrops splashing against Yanqing's head alerted him to the fact that he has fallen behind, having spaced out trying to read one of the signs that was written in a convoluted cursive font. Before he could catch up with Ren, he felt his elbow being grabbed, and he was soon pulled under the pleasant dryness of Ren's umbrella. When he raised his eyes, he was met with an exasperated look on Ren's face.
— You're already whiny enough as it is, I'm not going to entertain you if you get wet and cold, — Ren grumbled, returning to looking ahead, a tiny smile pulling on his lips, right before Yanqing could protest against the condescending insult. He stiffened, then took one extra quick step ahead so he was facing Ren, so the man couldn't just wave Yanqing's indignation off.
— Hey! — Yanqing was about to get Ren to take his words back, or at least try to, but they weren't meant to know the outcome of this argument, for before Yanqing could delve into his objections and the fact that he couldn't help feeling cold all the time because of the imbalance of elemental energy in his body, they were interrupted by a voice calling out to them. Yanqing couldn't help the wariness and fearfulness that he felt as he glanced to the side, in the direction that the voice came from. Even Ren appeared startled, even if he quickly returned to being unperturbed by whatever appeared in his way. Yanqing had a feeling that he was simply too tired to care, but he couldn't help but feel envious of Ren's composure sometimes. That, and he was annoyed by how easily Ren could push his buttons while remaining completely unbothered by Yanqing's offended retorts.
— Ren? Yanqing?! — March 7th surprised voice broke Yanqing out of his daze, and he looked at the three young, at least appearance wise, trailblazers who were now much closer than they were when they called out to them the first time. Yanqing mustered an awkward smile and gave them a wave of his hand, while Ren hardly offered a greeting, simply measuring them with his gaze.
— Hm? — Ren hummed questioningly, raising an eyebrow, but otherwise appearing rather bored by the familiar faces who neither of them could've expected to see on such a desolate planet. Yet here they were, March 7th practically standing in front of them, appearing way too enthusiastic, considering that as far as Yanqing was concerned, Stellaron Hunters were hardly friends with the Astral Express. Trailblazer and Dan Heng stepped up to her soon enough, watching them with inexplicable expressions.
Abruptly, Yanqing realized that he certainly didn't look the same way he did when they last saw him on Xianzhou Luofu. In fact, he definitely looked far worse, and there were clear signs of mara and Abundance on him. His red irises were pretty obvious, and the scarring on his face was eye-catching as well. He could only hope that he wasn't going to start bleeding right now, that would be the worst thing his body could do right and it would be such a troublesome thing to explain.
— Trailblazers, — Ren said in lieu of a greeting when it was obvious that Yanqing was set on remaining silent and neither of the three trailblazers were offering anything else to the awkward conversation anytime soon, visibly at a loss of words, even if they most likely had quite a few questions. March 7th was the first to recover from the shock and speak up.
— Yanqing, it's really you. You're alive! But we thought that you- — March 7th exclaimed, stepping into Yanqing's personal space, putting a hand on his shoulder as if to verify that he was real and taking a closer look at him, no doubt noticing the signs that something was wrong with him but too overjoyed by seeing him alive to pay them much mind. Yanqing's smile turned more genuine as he nodded his head, still at a loss of words. He was harboring hope that trailblazers were unaware of what had transpired, but it seems like they have already caught wind of the news of his potential death. It seems like he really was presumed dead on Xianzhou Luofu. Maybe it was for the best.
— We were told that you went missing in action and most likely died in battle, — Dan Heng interjected into the conversation, correcting his friend, who sheepishly nodded. Unwillingly, Yanqing wondered how Jing Yuan felt. Was he mourning him or was he harboring hopes that Yanqing has survived? After all, his body hadn't been found. In any case, as much as Yanqing would probably prefer to be presumed dead and then be forgotten about rather than witnessed looking like this, he did feel terribly guilty and sad about the idea that Jing Yuan might be hurting. But the general was strong, and Yanqing wasn't in his care for as long as Jing Yuan knew some other people. Surely, Jing Yuan would recover soon enough. The horrifying sight that his pupil now was, having fallen victim to corrupting clutches of Abundance, might wound him even more than news that he had honorably fallen in battle.
— We were told that your fate was unclear. It was presumed that you met the same fate that every long-life specie meets at the end of their lifespan when they fully succumb to mara, seeing as that's what seemed to had happened on the battlefield where you went missing, but it seems like that's not true, seeing as you're here, alive. Not entirely true at least, because clearly something had happened to you, — Trailblazer explained, implying that they hadn't just heard the news of his death somewhere but were actually on Xianzhou Luofu in person. Whether it was a coincidence or there was a reason for that, Yanqing wasn't sure he had enough confidence to ask about it right now. He has been avoiding the topic of Xianzhou Luofu for a while now, and he had no idea how to stop and bring it up now.
— Uh, yeah, as you can see, I'm okay, more or less, — Yanqing said with a strained smile, just as March 7th's expression turned troubled and she hastily pulled away her hand. It must've started feeling uncomfortably cold, even for an ice user like her. Despite wearing multiple layers of clothing, Yanqing hardly produced his own warmth anymore. Paired with his current poor control over his own element, the air around him often tended to get colder than normal when he lost his cool and ceased actively reigning in his elemental powers. And once they went out of control, even after Yanqing pulled them back, he couldn't exactly reverse the effect that they already had on his surroundings.
— More or less indeed. Your eyes are redder and you've got- Sorry, is that vines on your face under your skin? What really happened? — Trailblazer asked, squinting their eyes at Yanqing, their expression a mixture of alarm and concern. Yanqing let out a nervous laugh, taken aback by the correctness of Trailblazer's description of his appearance, requiring a moment to come up with suitable reply.
— It's a long story, but to put it briefly, I also had gotten affected by the burst of abundance in that battle, I just managed to survive, unlike everyone else, and then Miss Kafka reigned in the mara, — Yanqing explained vaguely, unwillingly recalling Kafka and Ren's strange avoidance of discussing the topic of what happened after he succumbed to the rapid increase of mara inside him. The avoidance made it seem like something terrible had happened, yet what Yanqing didn't understand is why they wouldn't just talk with him about it outright. Surely, they couldn't have been trying to shield him from unpleasant information like some kind of a child. He wasn't one, and they were criminals, not his parents.
However, as time went on, Yanqing began piecing together the picture of what had happened, and although neither Kafka nor Ren outright relinquished to him the information, their silence when a specific topic was breached was as good of an admittance as any that Yanqing must've went out of control like mara-struck do and potentially attacked everything that was around him. It was a horrifying thought, and as soon as it appeared, Yanqing was eager to tuck it back into the obscure corners of his mind, not wanting to think about the implications of it. Maybe that's why Kafka and Ren continued to not confirm it. At least as long as Yanqing didn't have solid proof that that's what had happened, he could pretend like that's not how things had gone.
The five of them ended up in a nearby cafeteria, sharing a meal, Yanqing the most eager one of them to actually eat, everyone else more interested in a conversation. Other than Ren, who hardly seemed interested in anything. With his hands wrapped around the warm cup with his drink, Yanqing replied to the questions directed to him in between the sips of the pleasantly hot liquid. Finally, when the stream of inquires has dwindled, the curiosity of the three trailblazers more or less satisfied and their concern less acute than before, Yanqing spoke up with a question of his own.
— I actually had something to ask of you. I was wondering if it was possible for me to met Jing Yuan on a neutral ground, like Astral Express, — Yanqing asked with a hint of nervousness, and out of the corner of his eye, he caught Ren give him an approving look. Meanwhile, Trailblazer gave Yanqing a confused look, perplexed by the wording, perhaps not having immediately realized that as someone so dangerously close to being mara-struck, Yanqing would be treated as an enemy of Xianzhou.
— Why a neutral ground? It's not like he's going to be angry at you or anything. He was very sad and very worried actually, — Trailblazer said after swallowing a mouthful of their snack, sound genuinely confused. Dan Heng gave them an inexplicable look but didn't interject into the conversation, letting Yanqing explain the crux of the issue.
— I know he's not going to be angry. I just don't want to show my face around Xianzhou Luofu, seeing as I'm kinda mara-struck now, — Yanqing said with an awkward smile, hiding it behind the cup with his drink that has by now cooled down and was only mildly lukewarm. There wasn't much of it left either, and Yanqing was hesitant to ask Ren to order another one. The taste was fine, not the most exquisite one, but the hotness more than made up for it.
— I'm sure if you come with us, we could stop by Xianzhou Luofu and you could have a chat with Jing Yuan aboard the Astral Express, without stepping foot on Luofu. We'll need to confirm it with Himeko, Welt and Pom-Pom, and then one of us will message... well, I suppose one of us could message Ren, it doesn't seem like you have your phone? — Trailblazer said contemplatively, earning matching nods of agreement from Dan Heng and March 7th. Smiling happily, Yanqing's expression of joy, however, quickly morphed into one of sheepishness.
— Yeah, I must've lost my phone in the mess that had happened after that battle on that planet went awry, — Yanqing said, briefly glancing at Ren for confirmation, who shrugged his shoulders, wordlessly signifying that whatever happened, Stellaron Hunters haven't found Yanqing's phone on his person. He must have so many missed calls and messages that awaited reply. Then again, it's not like he could ever restore his account and respond to all of them, not after he was officially presumed dead and his sudden reappearance would cause an even bigger mess. It probably would be best to disappear quietly and only speak to Jing Yuan.
After the encounter with the trailblazers has come to an end and they went away to take care of their own business, Yanqing and Ren got back to theirs, though Yanqing briefly wondered if the reason they were here aligned with that of the Astral Express. Judging by the pensiveness and faint amusement on Ren's face, he wondered the same thing. After he finished pondered this, however, Ren's train of thought moved elsewhere, and he measured Yanqing with a self-satisfied look, an annoying one.
— This went pretty well, didn't it? — Ren said, somehow sounding both condescending and reassuring. Yanqing rolled his eyes but didn't offer a retort, unwilling to admit that Ren's advice was very sound and worked well, but feeling reluctant to pretend like he didn't appreciate it either. There needed to be balance between showing his gratitude, but not too much, lest Ren's ego gets too inflated and he becomes insufferable with his condescending remarks and teasing jabs.
— Yeah. I still have no idea how I would face Jing Yuan though, — Yanqing admitted nervously, solemnly, only now realizing that he has pretty much agreed to a meeting with Jing Yuan and backing out now would look idiotic and childish. He didn't want to run away from a scary situation like an immature kid, but he still wasn't ready to face Jing Yuan as well. All of this was making him feel physically sick, and perhaps noticing this, Ren gave him an encouraging pat on the shoulder.
— I'm sure it will go fine, — Ren said nonchalantly, but Yanqing knew that he didn't speak without thinking, so his words were sincere, and Yanqing could only hope that he was right and the meeting would go fine. But there was still plenty of time until it happens, it wasn't even been arranged yet, the Astral Express hasn't even given their agreement to host it yet, so for now there was no need to worry about it. Yanqing had more important things to focus on, like another wave of enemies that needed to be wiped out. He couldn't allow himself to be distracted, not when the odd sword already felt weird in his grip, which made his muscle memory let him down sometimes.
Contrary to Yanqing's expectations, he and Ren haven't crossed paths with the Astral Express members on that planet again. Days passed in relative peace, with no news from the Astral Express, and Yanqing began tucking the thoughts about a meeting with Jing Yuan to the back of his mind, prioritizing other matters. It was during one of Yanqing and Silver Wolf's gaming sessions that she brought something to his attention, as nonchalant as ever, her voice showing only the slightest hint of interest.
— Hey, you got a message from the Astral Express. Something about a meeting with your general, — Silver Wolf said, not tearing her eyes away from her gaming console, but Yanqing was forced to pause and look up, game forgotten, as he found himself taken aback by the sudden delivery of such news, especially from an unexpected person such as her. From what Yanqing remembered, they had agreed that the Astral Express would contact Ren.
— Huh? Oh, they texted back? I thought they would message Ren though, — Yanqing asked, confused, not too bothered by which Stellaron Hunter was contacted, but slightly surprised that Silver Wolf was suddenly privy to the matter that has tormented Yanqing for quite some time. She shrugged in response, not finding any of this weird.
— They did, I just have access to his phone more than he does. The old man barely uses it, — Silver Wolf said with an amused chuckle, briefly raising her eyes towards Yanqing, and he gave her a slow nod of understanding. He supposes this made sense, he hardly saw Ren use his phone, and he was pretty sure he caught sight of it in Silver Wolf's or Kafka's hands more often than he saw it in Ren's.
— I see, well, what did the Astral Express say? — Yanqing asked curiously, inclining his head to the side. Instead of verbally responding, Silver Wolf put aside her game and searched for something on her desk, soon locating and retrieving a phone that didn't belong to her. She quickly unlocked it, the device not requiring a password, then opened a chat and handed the phone to Yanqing to read the text messages himself. He silently accepted the device, eagerly reading the messages.
As it soon was made apparent, Astral Express has agreed to host a meeting with Jing Yuan, saying they could stop by Xianzhou Luofu sometime within the next few weeks but no earlier than in a week. Any time worked, but it better be arranged beforehand. Of course, it would be a polite thing to do. With an expression of joy on his face, Yanqing handed the phone back to Silver Wolf, who turned it off and put it back somewhere on her desk. They continued their gaming session, but the days before the long-awaited meeting were bound to be filled with anxiety.
The Astral Express train greeted Yanqing with warmth and light, quite unlike the spaceship of the Stellaron Hunters, which was darker, colder and noticeably less lively. Still, unlike the Astral Express train, the spaceship of the Stellaron Hunters has become familiar to Yanqing and he didn't feel the discomfort he felt on the Astral Express train. Though, the upcoming meeting was also to blame for his racing nerves. Yanqing was just thankful that Ren was accompanying him.
— Anxious? — Ren asked quietly, lightly nudging Yanqing's arm with his. Nervously swallowing a lump in his throat, Yanqing awkwardly nodded in confirmation, taking a moment to find his voice and ensure it doesn't waver. Thankfully, no one was around them to see Yanqing in such a pathetic state.
— Very... — Yanqing mumbled, feeling his heart beat so intensively that he almost felt physically sick, his hands trembling. Ren hummed in understanding, then wrapped an arm around his shoulders, squeezing, eliciting a surprised yelp from Yanqing. The unexpected gesture briefly took his mind off the source of his anxiety. Still, the mental turmoil was far too great for Yanqing to be distracted from it for long.
Time passed by incongruously slowly, and the nauseating cocktail of nervousness and worry inside Yanqing kept getting worse. At some point, Ren excused himself to have a conversation with someone, and Yanqing could only muster a nod of understanding, pathetically watching Ren leave the train cabin, silently wishing he would stay, but not feeling like it was right to keep him in Yanqing's boring and probably annoying company. Then, minutes trickled by even more slowly. He watched the train dock on Xianzhou Luofu with mild interest, trying to stay away from the windows so he doesn't give his presence away. No one would probably wander the train aimlessly, but someone could catch sight of him through a window.
As soon as the Astral Express docked on Luofu, Yanqing hid in a room altogether, unwilling to take any chances. Since then, minutes passed even more slowly. Alone in the quiet room, Yanqing felt his heart beat faster and faster, and he felt like he was going crazy from anxiety. A part of him just wanted this to be over with sooner, regardless of how badly the meeting with Jing Yuan goes.
At last, there was a sound of heavy but hurried footsteps outside, growing louder as their owner approached the door that led to the room that Yanqing was in. He waited with bated breath for the door to open. It did, and Jing Yuan walked in. At that moment, Yanqing's mind was empty, his heart numb, he was unsure of what to think, what to feel, he couldn't even breathe. Then, Jing Yuan's eyes landed on him, and the man walked towards him with a single-minded focus, his previously carefully guarded expression melting away, replaced by pure concern.
— Yanqing! Oh dear, — Jing Yuan muttered breathlessly, both surprised and immensely relieved by the sight of Yanqing, quickly ending up right before him and drawing him into a tight, warm hug, as if he was afraid that should he let go, Yanqing would disappear again. Finally figuring out how to breathe, Yanqing let out a shaky exhale into Jing Yuan's shoulder, the man's hair tickling his face, then reciprocated the embrace just as tightly, just as unwilling to let go.
— I'm here, — Yanqing whispered before hiding his face in Jing Yuan's shoulder, feeling a faint burning sensation in his eyes. He felt Jing Yuan's arms tighten around him, one hand rubbing circles into Yanqing's shoulder blade, the other running through his loose hair, the motions as soothing for Yanqing as they were for Jing Yuan.
— That you are. Aeons, I thought you had died. You don't know- I'm so glad you're alive... and okay, — Jing Yuan said into the side of Yanqing's head, and Yanqing nodded in confirmation, Jing Yuan probably feeling the motion against his shoulder. After a few moments, he dared to ask the question that has tormented him so for weeks.
— You're not... mad? — Yanqing muttered into Jing Yuan's shoulder, his voice probably coming out very muffled, but Jing Yuan seemed to hear him anyway, loosening his hold around Yanqing, pulling back and letting him do the same, but instead of separating, he gently cradled the side of Yanqing's face in one of his hands. The smile on his face was so full of fondness that Yanqing felt like he has already gotten an answer to his question. There were no negative emotions on Jing Yuan's face other than some lingering leftover grief and sadness.
— Yanqing, you could be an Abomination of Abundance, and I'd still care about you just as much. I'm just glad you're alive and well, that's all I could ask for, — Jing Yuan said with full conviction, and Yanqing couldn't not believe him, shakily nodding in understanding, feeling the lump in his throat grow, the burning in his eyes intensifying. It was getting progressively harder to keep his emotions at bay and not just pathetically break down right here and now.
— But all that training, all those years of being a Cloud Knight and climbing the ranks, all of them have gone to waste. Your protege... is a waste of time and a disappointment, the poorest investment that there could be, — lowering his gaze, Yanqing mumbled sadly, more disappointed in himself than Jing Yuan could ever be. Gently tilting Yanqing's face upwards so he would meet Jing Yuan's gaze, the man gave him yet another infinitely warm smile.
— No, Yanqing, you've accomplished so much, you're a source of pride for the Luofu, you're a source of pride for me, even if I can no longer have you by my side. Even if things won't be the same now, it's no one's fault, merely an unfortunate happenstance, but I will never feel anything other than pride in regards to you, — Jing Yuan said reassuringly but so earnestly that Yanqing couldn't not believe him. This was the final straw, and as tears began pooling in Yanqing's eyes, he moved forward, once again hiding his face in Jing Yuan's shoulder, the man returning to soothingly rubbing circles into his back, not saying anything, just letting Yanqing cry to his heart's content and let out all those emotions that have been plaguing him. No judgement, just endless support and affection.
— I love you, — Jing Yuan whispered into the crown of Yanqing's head, pairing it with a kiss to his hair. It has been such a long time since they shared such a nice moment together. As Yanqing grew up, their relationship became more and more professional, and with it came certain distance that occasionally made Yanqing wonder if he just imagined a more familiar relationship between them, if they were nothing more than a pupil and teacher, a Cloud Knights lieutenant and general. How foolish he had been to think this way, he should've just said something whenever the doubt grew too strong, whenever he craved comfort and a warm embrace of a parental figure.
— I love you so much, I'm so sorry! I love you, — Yanqing muttered uncontrollably, feeling so stupid for ever doubting Jing Yuan's care for him and so incredibly grateful for it. Even with coldness numbing his insides and making him shiver, at this moment the warmth of Jing Yuan's love and care almost felt like enough to dispel it. Yanqing desperately tightened the embrace. A hand began to soothingly card through his hair in response.
— There is nothing to be sorry for, A-Qing, absolutely nothing, — Jing Yuan murmured reassuringly, and Yanqing nodded through hiccups and sobs. It took some time for him to calm down, and throughout it all, in patient silence and comforting embrace, Jing Yuan held him, soothingly rubbing his back or massaging his head, running fingers through his hair. It must've grown a bit since the last time Jing Yuan had seen him.
Unwillingly, Yanqing wondered how long ago Jing Yuan had to accept that he was presumed dead, how long he mourned him, perhaps cradling vain hope that Yanqing has survived or perhaps not. What mattered now is that everything has worked out well. In any case, there was no taking back what has happened, so there was no use wondering if meeting Jing Yuan instead of continuing to stay dead was for better or for worse anymore. Well, if Yanqing had to judge, he would say that this meeting has gone exceptionally well. He was glad he managed to gather enough courage to face Jing Yuan after everything that has happened.
— Calmed down, A-Qing? — Jing Yuan said quietly, leaning down to take a peek at Yanqing's face. He probably looked like a mess, with tear streaks across his cheeks and redness around his eyes. But Jing Yuan only smiled gently, warmly, the kind of smile that made Yanqing want to smile in return, even if it looked crooked and awkward.
— Mhm. Love you, — Yanqing whispered shyly, feeling like no words were enough to express his gratitude for Jing Yuan's care and affection and the love he felt in return. But he really wanted to let Jing Yuan know how much he cared about him, how thankful he was to have such a great parental figure and mentor, how much he valued everything that Jing Yuan has done for him, not because he saw Yanqing as a good investment, but because he genuinely cared for him, even though he was under no obligations to do it.
— Me too, my pride and joy. You never fail to impress me, and you've come so far. Sometimes I'm surprised, when have you grown so much? But know that whatever happens, however old you are, you will always have my love and support. Okay, A-Qing? — Jing Yuan said with utmost sincerity, and Yanqing could only nod in response, muttering out a quiet reply of understanding. This was too much to hear, making Yanqing feel like breaking down in tears again. They took some more time to have this moment of peace, seeing as they were given some alone time to properly communicate and clear things out, no one interrupting them, deliberately giving them time to talk this out.
When Yanqing was finally ready to pull away from the hug and take a step back, his tear streaks having mostly dried up on his face, he realized an important thing. He was still emitting coldness, which might not have been as apparent to him, especially when he has been surrounded by Jing Yuan's warmth, both physical and metaphorical, but it definitely should've been palpable to Jing Yuan, who nevertheless continue to hug him and hasn't said a word about it. Until now.
— Your elemental energy is out of control, hm? — Jing Yuan pointed out, nonchalant and unbothered, as if he wasn't the one hugging this coldness for several minutes straight. While he didn't appear particularly suffering, Yanqing was well aware that even Ren was affected by his coldness, so Jing Yuan couldn't not have been, and he really didn't have to withstand it for so long, Yanqing would've understood if he needed to put some distance between them for some time, to take a break and warm up.
— Ah, yes, I'm so sorry! I forgot how cold it would make you feel, I- — Yanqing began saying, feeling like there was nothing he could do other than profusely apologize now. However, Jing Yuan gently interrupted him, looking as unperturbed as ever. Though, now that Yanqing paid attention to it, there might've been a little tremor in the man's hands, accompanied by slight but uncontrollable chattering of his teeth.
— Don't worry about me, A-Qing, I have warmth to share with you. I'm not going to be affected by a little chill, — Jing Yuan said lightheartedly, but he was certainly affected by the cold, and as much as Yanqing wanted to reach out to help, he knew that proximity would make it worse. Besides, what would he even do? He had no body warmth of his own to share anymore.
— You're downplaying it. I know it's supposed to feel cold, especially when exposed to it for so long! — Yanqing exclaimed worriedly, racking his brain in an attempt to come up with a solution to Jing Yuan's plight. Perhaps this room wasn't the warmest and they should relocate elsewhere, but Yanqing wasn't sure where it would be warmer. Besides, he still probably shouldn't wander around too freely, lest a curious person from Luofu who arrived to observe the legendary Astral Express up close catches sight of him and recognizes him.
— Really now? I don't feel that cold. Perhaps all this heart-to-heart talk has eased your heart and calmed down your poorly restrained elemental powers, — Jing Yuan said, and Yanqing couldn't tell whether he was joking or being serious. So, he took it with a grain of salt, continuing to rack his brain to figure out how to deal with this situation, even if Jing Yuan pretended like he was unaffected by the cold. At last, the solution came in the same form that it had come for Yanqing's own plight. Maybe Astral Express had a heater or heating pad that they could lend to Jing Yuan. A hot drink might help as well.
— Let's go warm up, — Yanqing suggested, getting up and walking towards the door. They could certainly find one of the trailblazers around, without entering the parlor car, or any nearby car with big windows, that might have curious eyes on it. With a chuckle, Jing Yuan nodded and followed him out of the room. The casualness of this was nice and familiar, and even if things were never going to be the same, Yanqing was still glad to spend time with Jing Yuan, without any expectations, rush or pressure of responsibilities, just the two of them as a little family.
Eventually, Yanqing found himself standing beside Jing Yuan, observing a conversation between him and two Stellaron Hunters, Ren and Kafka. Awkwardly, Yanqing had a thought cross his mind that he looked like a child, who had his parent talk with two other adults. The thought made a pout immediately appear on Yanqing's face, which was made worse by the next words that left Jing Yuan's mouth.
— I must thank you for taking care of Yanqing, — Jing Yuan said to Ren and a holographic projection of Kafka, earning an offended whine of protest from Yanqing. He didn't need Ren feeling even more self-important that he already felt. Oh all the teasing remarks that Yanqing would have to endure afterwards, Jing Yuan had no idea what kind of fate he was creating for Yanqing. Ren definitely knew though, judging by the smirk that briefly crept onto his face.
— It was no problem, glad to be of assistance to the esteemed general of Xianzhou Luofu, — Kafka said slyly but politely, and Ren hummed in agreement, though offered no vocal response, seemingly content with remaining silent and letting Kafka take lead of the conversation. Jing Yuan hummed in understanding, neither confirming that he owed Stellaron Hunters one now nor denying it, preferring not to address it for now.
— I am wondering though, what's the plan? Yanqing, do you per chance intend to join the Stellaron Hunters? — Jing Yuan asked with genuine curiosity, and Yanqing was struck by the realization that he didn't in fact know what to do next. He has never thought this far, this meeting with Jing Yuan being as far as he worried about his future, but it was true, he didn't know what to do from now on. He couldn't return to Xianzhou, but he simply couldn't stay with intergalactic criminals either, no matter how pleasant their company might've been. He was definitely no criminal.
— What?! No! I'm not a criminal! I mean, I'm not sure what to do. I'm thankful for the help that Stellaron Hunters extended to me, but I can't possibly join, can I? — Yanqing said uncertainly, helplessly glancing first at Ren and Kafka, then at Jing Yuan. The man showed neither support nor disapproval of the idea, letting Yanqing choose his path himself. It was nice to know that Jing Yuan would support whatever decision he made, even if he decided to join the Stellaron Hunters, but Yanqing didn't think he wanted to become a criminal himself.
— I believe there is a more suitable place for you, — Kafka said mysteriously, with a cryptic smile on her face, and Yanqing was overcome by surprise and confusion, uncertain about what Kafka could've possibly meant. Meanwhile, Jing Yuan hummed acknowledgingly, not nearly as taken aback by Kafka's words. Almost as if he has caught onto the meaning behind them.
— Oh? Would you care to elaborate? — Jing Yuan asked curiously, keeping his realization to himself for now, and it was Kafka's turn to hum acknowledgingly. She took her time to find the proper words though, and too fed up with the obscurity, Ren spoke up himself, taking mercy on Yanqing and plainly laying out the ingenious idea that both Kafka and Jing Yuan seemed to have gotten.
— They are talking about Astral Express, — Ren said straightforwardly, and Yanqing looked at him in surprise, slowly blinking as he tried to process the information. Him joining the Astral Express, is that what they were talking about? At first, the idea seemed bizarre and way too good to be true. But Kafka's next words made it seem less like an unreachable dream and more like a possible reality.
— I've asked our dear Astral Express friends. They have said they would accept you should you decide to join them on their travels. As for your mara, the two of us could occasionally chat through a video call or a holographic projection if there is a need to calm it down, — Kafka said, addressing Yanqing, and he let her words sink in, his expression of doubt morphing into one of disbelief and then hesitant joy.
— Really? I- Really?! — Yanqing asked, stumbling over his words, feeling overjoyed, barely able to restrain himself from smiling. He looked up at Jing Yuan expectantly, waiting for his insight with bated breath. After a moment of thinking about the offer that Kafka has laid out on the table, Jing Yuan hummed approvingly.
— I think it's a good opportunity, they are good people, — Jing Yuan said with a smile, and Yanqing slowly nodded, expressing his agreement with the idea pretty well. Now all that was left was to have the same conversation with the Astral Express members to make it official. Yanqing could hardly believe that he was joining, it seemed too good to be true, it seemed like it happened too quickly. When no one was looking, he pinched himself to confirm that this wasn't in fact a dream.
— Welcome to the Astral Express, Yanqing, — Dan Heng told him as he showed him the way to his assigned room. Ren has agreed to later help him carry over his few belongings that he managed to obtain throughout his stay with the Stellaron Hunters as well as some items that Stellaron Hunters have purchased for him. Yanqing was grateful and also sincerely hoped that a heated pad was among them.
As he stepped through the door, a pretty bare room greeted Yanqing. A little sad and disappointing, but March 7th, who has been tagging along with them, was quick to reassure him that he was free to decorate and furnish the room as he saw fit, so it will soon look much more comfortable and cozy. Yanqing nodded in understanding, beginning to look around with a little hesitance but mostly curiosity and eagerness to start this new chapter of his life.
Evening came, and Jing Yuan had to take his leave and depart from the Astral Express. As soon as Ren was done with transferring Yanqing's belongings to the Astral Express, he left for now as well, though not without promising to pay a visit soon. Night soon fell over Xianzhou Luofu, including the location where Astral Express was still docked, and Yanqing's room was submerged in darkness, dispelled only by the faint light of the myriad of stars in the sky outside the window.
The phone that Silver Wolf has gotten for him in return for promising to play games with her told Yanqing the time was past midnight. It was quiet and lonely in his room, and although he thought he has gotten used to this lifestyle during his stay at the spaceship of the Stellaron Hunters, he couldn't have been more wrong. It wasn't the lifestyle that he had gotten used to, but the life with Stellaron Hunters specifically. And now Yanqing had to adjust all over again.
He could already feel a long, sleepless night incoming. He will be lucky if he manages to pass out from exhaustion sometime during early morning. After half an hour of lying in the dark, Yanqing finally caved in and thought of ways to end this sooner and fall asleep quicker. One such idea visited him soon enough, and he picked up his phone. Although it was late, he still decided to test his luck. If Jing Yuan doesn't pick up, well, then Yanqing won't bother him tonight anymore. But he did pick up, fairly quickly too, and Yanqing took a deep breath, calming his racing nerves, before speaking up.
— Hello, dad, — Yanqing said tentatively, shyly, having had to muster a lot of courage to say this. It wasn't by any means a familiar way of addressing Jing Yuan. Expecting taken aback silence to come from the other end of the call, he was instead almost immediately greeted by an equally warm reply, though it quickly devolved into a tease at Yanqing's expense.
— Hello, my pride and joy, my dear son. How are you doing? — Jing Yuan said, sounding very much amused, and Yanqing let out an exaggerated groan of annoyance, his previous nervousness and discomfort vanishing like they were never there.
— Aeons, don't be so embarrassing! Please, or I will never be able to address you like this again, — Yanqing said pleadingly, accompanied by Jing Yuan barely suppressed laughter, which caused the pout on Yanqing's face to worsen. Embarrassed, he turned from one side to another in bed, tugging the blanket higher. But the darkness that lurked in the corners of the bedroom was no longer scary, Jing Yuan's embarrassing words being a way bigger reason for concern than some obscure childish fears.
— All right, all right. Sorry, couldn't hold myself back, — Jing Yuan said with a loud chuckle that didn't sound like he regretted this very much, and although Yanqing let out a loud irritated scoff, he did appreciate how at ease Jing Yuan's lightheartedness and kind teasing have made him feel. Briefly, silence fell over them, neither of them speaking up, and Yanqing took the initiative into his own hands, feeling like he had to explain why he was calling so late and entirely out of the blue.
— It's my first night on the Astral Express. It's weird, the room is so unfamiliar, it's a little uncomfortable, so I, uh- I thought I'd call you, to talk, I was hoping it would make me feel a little better, — Yanqing admitted quietly, painfully truthfully, but Jing Yuan wasn't a person he felt insecure around. Deep down he knew that, even if Jing Yuan might tease him, he was first and foremost the person who wouldn't think less of him for acting weak and vulnerable.
— Adjusting to living in a new place can be hard. I'm glad you called me, A-Qing. Anything you wanna talk about? — Jing Yuan said calmly, quickly proposing a helpful solution to Yanqing's plight. It took Yanqing a few seconds to think of a topic for a conversation, but soon enough he recalled what he wanted to share with Jing Yuan earlier today.
— Um, well... Oh! So, I lost Yanzhou, right? I had to use a random sword and it felt weird. It was different from what I'm used to. So Ren asked me some questions and got me a better sword as a parting gift! It's so pretty and feels so similar to Yanzhou! — Yanqing exclaimed, trying and failing to keep his joy contained, feeling physically unable to restrain himself and not talk too much when it came to swords. Judging by the quiet chuckle that Yanqing was pretty sure he didn't imagine coming from Jing Yuan, the man wasn't surprised by the eagerness that Yanqing exhibited when it came to swords. Perhaps it was something that would never change.
— How wonderful, I'm glad you two are getting along, — Jing Yuan said patiently, and Yanqing hummed in agreement. He would've never expected Ren to gift him a sword, and such a good one too, yet here they were, the cherished gift lying on the table in the room, resting in its casing. Yanqing had vowed to take good care of it, earning an approving look from Ren.
As strangely sorrowful as it was to part with the Stellaron Hunters, at least Yanqing had something to remember Ren by. And Silver Wolf had already established that she was looking forward to playing multiplayer games with him even from a distance. And with how friendly the Astral Express seemed with the Stellaron Hunters, Yanqing had a feeling they would cross paths again many times in the future.
Getting up from the bed, Yanqing hurriedly stepped towards the table in the room, pulling out the new sword and snapping a photo of it, a flash briefly illuminating the room, then he carefully put it back into the case and sent the photo to Jing Yuan before returning to speaking to him through the call, excited for Jing Yuan to see his new sword.
— There, I sent you the photo! This is the sword! Isn't it pretty? It's quite light and very balanced too! — Yanqing said proudly, happily, and Jing Yuan hummed approvingly, his voice sounding farther away as he presumably pulled away from the speaker to take a look at the photo that Yanqing has sent him. It took a few seconds for him to speak up again.
— Very good. As for Yanzhou, it had been found on the battlefield. I have it now. Would you like it back? — Jing Yuan spoke, much to Yanqing's surprise. He had assumed that Yanzhou had gotten destroyed or had never been found, but to know that Jing Yuan had it, Yanqing felt relief and odd happiness. Perhaps it would be nice if Yanzhou remained in Jing Yuan's care, as something for him to remember Yanqing by.
— Hmm... Would you like to keep it? As a memento, — Yanqing suggested tentatively, unsure if Jing Yuan would insist on returning Yanzhou to him, but he was kind of hoping that Jing Yuan would acquiesce and agree to keep it. Surely, one sword wouldn't be too troublesome to take care of. And if it wasn't used, the requirements for caring for it would be even lower.
— Of course, I'll take good care of it, — Jing Yuan said resolutely, and Yanqing felt a breath of relief escape him. He plopped back onto his bed, the hard mattress barely cushioning his fall. Perhaps he would have to get a second, thicker and softer one. Maybe an extra pillow as well, because it has always felt nice to have two. After getting back under the covers, Yanqing replied.
— Thank you! Could you maybe... just talk? I'll try to start falling asleep to you talking, — Yanqing hesitantly suggested, recalling how soothing Jing Yuan's voice has always been. Back when Yanqing was little, Jing Yuan's bedtime stories and his smooth voice have always easily lulled him to sleep at night. Recently, his voice lulled him to sleep during long meetings that Yanqing was occasionally forced to attend. Surely, this method would work now as well. Besides, it would just be nice to have something familiar with him right now, and there was hardly anything more familiar than Jing Yuan.
— Of course, so today at the Seat of Divine Foresight... — Jing Yuan easily agreed, beginning to tell stories from his daily life at the Seat of Divine Foresight. It was surprising how many entertaining stories happened at such a place. At least it brought some color and fun to the otherwise tedious and monotonous everyday life of the Seat of Divine Foresight's employees. As expected, enveloped by the soothing sound of Jing Yuan's voice, Yanqing soon found himself slipping into peaceful slumber.
— Good night, A-Qing. Sleep well, — Jing Yuan murmured quietly to the sounds of even breaths before ending the call. The screen of Yanqing's phone gradually darkened, the device slipping from his loose grasp and ending up lying down next to his pillow. Tranquility filled the room.
That night, Yanqing's rest was serene and undisturbed, and he dreamed of various planets and countless stars, of journeying across the cosmos, of feelings of excitement and joy, of existing despite the changes to his mind and body that at first had seemed catastrophic. And when he wakes up, he would have a choice to make that dream a reality, because sometimes, when one path gets cut off, it is time to trailblaze a new one.