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Every Saturday, at precisely nine at night, Jisung would meet up with Hyun at a coffee shop near XLOV’s dorm.
It was small, exclusive, owned by an elderly couple, and hardly anybody ever came. Even when they did, nobody would bother the two unmasked idols sitting in the corner of the shop.
As usual, Jisung had dinner, went to the gym, and texted Hyun to see if they were still going to meet up. Hyun had told him she’d be a bit later, but that was okay; it gave Jisung the perfect occasion to buy her some flowers.
Since they couldn’t meet last week due to his group’s schedule, he’d promised Hyun he’d make it up to her this time, and Jisung intended to keep his word.
He arrived at the coffee shop at nine sharp with a big bouquet of flowers in his hand, colorful and vibrant, just like Hyun. He greeted the nice elderly couple, asked if they liked the flowers he’d give Hyun later, and made his order before settling in their usual spot.
Jisung sat there, knees bopping impatiently as he waited for Hyun. It had been two weeks since they last met; he was merely too excited to see his partner.
Sure, they’d only been dating for a month, and only through the matchmaking work of Changbin, but Jisung felt as if Hyun was the one for him already. His heart fluttered every time he saw Hyun, hell, his heart fluttered every time he thought of Hyun. His mind was constantly swarmed with everything related to Hyun, from the way their eyes shone to how they smiled at Jisung so delicately or how their fingers shyly initiated any affectionate touches during their dates.
It wasn’t an exaggeration for Jisung to admit that he was in love with Hyun.
Okay, that might be a big deal, since it hadn’t even been a month since they made their relationship official, but Jisung knew for certain his heart was already in the palm of Hyun’s hand.
However, after a long, long conversation with his members, he decided to keep those words to himself for a bit longer for fear it’d scare Hyun. A month was too fast to call it love, right?
Jisung jerked his head up when the bell above the door jingled. His chest tightened in delight, and he grinned just at the sight of Hyun filling his vision.
Hyun was—breathtaking. Even in something as simple as grey sweatpants and a hoodie of the same color. She had sneakers on, with the beanie covering most of her hair. But she didn’t have her gym bag with her.
“Hyun! Here! I’m here!” Jisung said, lifting his hand in the air and waving at Hyun excitedly.
Hyun spotted him, and a brief smile bloomed on her face.
“Did you go for a run?” Jisung stood up, shifting closer to the wall so Hyun could sit next to him.
“I did. I wanted to clear my mind a little,” Hyun said, pulling out the chair to sit opposite Jisung.
He stilled, just for a second, before settling down again with his eyebrows furrowed. They always sat next to each other.
“Hyunnie,” Jisung said. “Don’t you want to sit next to me?”
“Oh, I, well, I just ran.” Hyun bared a smile and shrugged. “I smell right now, it’s better like this.”
“But you know I don’t mind that.”
Hyun pressed his lips together, then looked to the side. He said, “Are those flowers?”
“Oh! Yeah!” Jisung beamed, lifting the bouquet and handing it across the table to Hyun. “I got these for you. Do you like it?”
Hyun looked at the bouquet, her cute nose scrunching up before she smiled.
“I do,” Hyun said, putting the bouquet down on the table. “Han—“
“I miss you, Hyun,” he said, leaning forward on the table and taking Hyun’s hand in his. “I know I’ve been busy with the group’s activities and everything, but I really miss you during that time.”
“You do,” Hyun whispered, although it sounded like a question more from her tone.
“I do! I was shaking the entire time waiting for you.” He grinned brightly. “Oh, did you order yet? Do you want me to order for you?”
“Actually, Han, I don’t intend on stay—“
“Do you still take smoothies? Or do you want something else? I just got a watermelon juice, do you want—“
“I want to stop!”
Jisung froze, eyes darting back to Hyun’s face, only to realize Hyun was nearly frowning at him. Her eyebrows knitted together, and her breath hitched now that she realized Han had heard it.
“I mean, I want to break up, Han,” Hyun said, withdrawing her hands from Jisung’s loosened hands.
“What?” Jisung breathed, like the word was forced out of his lungs.
“I want to break up,” Hyun repeated, his voice firmer this time. “I can’t do this anymore.”
Hearing those words made Jisung’s chest feel full for some reason, like water was filling up inside him and threatened to drown him if he didn’t speak up.
“But why?” Jisung said, inhaling shakily. He tried to reach out across the table, and his heart sank deeper when Hyun flinched and put her hands back on her lap. “Did I do something wrong? Hyun, I don’t understand why—“
“I just—I don’t think it’s working out anymore,” Hyun said softly. “It’s not your fault, Han Jisung-ssi, it’s just that I—“
“Why are you calling me Han Jisung-ssi?” Jisung uttered, his eyes stinging as he blinked, trying to get a clearer look at Hyun. “That’s not what you call me—“
“Han Jisung, please—“
“Hyunnie, can you just tell me why you’re doing this? What did I do wrong? If you need me to fix something, I’ll fix it!”
“It’s not something you can fix, it’s just—“ Hyun sighed. “I can’t do this anymore.”
“Hyun, please don’t do this,” Han said, as Hyun’s frown deepened. “Hyunnie, if it’s because of my schedule last week, I can fix that. I can—“
“It’s not, Han,” Hyun said, her throat bobbing uncomfortably. “I know this seems like a surprise, but I hope you’ll respect my decision.”
She stood up, her chair creaking as it was pushed backwards. Jisung’s eyes followed her.
“Hyunnie, please—“
“I have to go. They’re waiting for me,” she said, and Jisung looked out the window of the coffee shop to see Wumuti, Rui, and Haru all in sweatpants and hoodies waiting for Hyun outside. Their eyes were unreadable. “I’m sorry, Han Jisung-ssi.”
“Hyun, please, wait.” Jisung jerked onto his feet. “Hyun, don’t do this, please. Hyun, please! Can I see you again? Hyun, please!”
Despite his pleas, Hyun forced a sad smile on her beautiful face and gave him one last look before turning her back on him, leaving both Jisung and the bouquet at the corner of the coffee shop.
Breathing shakily, Jisung blinked. He was half aware of how wet his face was and how everything had gone blurry, but none of it compared to the ache soaring in his chest, spreading through every fiber of his body and making him feel as though the sky had fallen on him.
Jisung wasn’t sure what had just happened.
He wasn’t sure if he wanted to believe that all of it was real.
*
Jisung still wasn’t sure how long he’d stayed there, but he didn’t leave the coffee shop.
He simply sat there, staring at the chair in front of him where Hyun had sat, savoring every last bit of Hyun’s scent lingering in the air, and held the bouquet to his chest while his eyes refused to stop welling up with tears.
Apparently, it was so bad that a little kid came running to his table and handed him more tissues.
Jisung started crying even more.
At some point, he got through the sniffles and hiccups, but the tears kept streaming down. He couldn’t recall being in this much pain before. It hurt. Everywhere in his body hurt. His chest throbbed every time he tried to catch his breath, and his eyes strained, his head swimming with images of Hyun, of the last look Hyun spared him before he left.
It haunted him, and all Jisung could hope for was for all of this to be one big nightmare. That he would wake up soon, and he’d be with Hyun again.
But Hyun didn’t listen to his calls or answer his texts, and Jisung was starting to think that maybe this wasn’t a dream, after all.
Jisung squeezed the bouquet tighter to his chest, uncaring that the bell jingled again, and two figures stepped into the dimly lit shop.
Everyone had left, so he had no idea who arrived until they came into his blurry line of sight.
“There you are,” Bang Chan whispered, patting Jisung’s shoulder blade and squeezing him gently. “Are you okay?”
He registered his hyung’s voice in his head, but he couldn’t be bothered to look up.
“You didn’t come back at your usual time,” Changbin said. “We were worried.”
“I called Muti, and she said you might be here.”
“You okay, Han-ah?” Changbin leaned down to meet his eye level, but all Jisung could think about was how Changbin was blocking him from gazing at the chair. “Rui…Rui told me what happened.”
Jisung swallowed; even his throat felt like there were thorns inside. He didn’t want to say anything at all.
“Come on, big guy, let’s go home,” Bang Chan said, but Jisung only squeezed the bouquet against him.
“No,” he croaked. “I can’t leave.”
“You have to. It’s past midnight already, Han-ah. We have to leave. Let the owners close the shop, right?”
“I can’t leave,” he murmured. “What if Hyun comes back? I have to see Hyun again. I have to.”
Because if that smile were the last memory he had of Hyun, Jisung wouldn’t be able to live with himself because of it.
“Han-ah…”
“What did I do wrong?” Jisung mumbled, his lips trembling. “If I did something wrong, then I could fix it, but Hyun wouldn’t tell me what I did wrong. I’d have fixed it. I’ll fix it. Anything Hyun wants, I’ll fix it.”
“I know, Han,” Bang Chan said sympathetically, squeezing his shoulder again in an attempt to comfort Jisung. “First, we gotta go back and get some rest, okay? Let’s go, Han-ah.”
After some initial muffled protests, Jisung eventually let himself be carried by his hyungs. They dragged him to the car because his feet felt as though they were chained to that very spot at the shop. The ride home was quiet, except for Jisung’s quiet cries and the soft sighs Chan hyung let out as he rubbed Han’s back.
When his hyung pulled him to his side, Jisung let his voice carry his emotions, and he cried louder, sobbing with his face buried in the bouquet, his entire body shaking as he struggled to breathe.
Chan hyung and Changbin hyung carried him to bed, and Jisung refused to let go of the bouquet, no matter what anybody told him.
Jisung’s mind was a mess, and he didn’t sleep a wink that night.
*
Can we meet again, Hyun?
Hyun, can I please see you today?
Can we talk?
I don’t want to stop.
Hyunnie, please talk to me. I miss you.
If I did something wrong, I’ll change it, Hyun. Please stay with me.
Please don’t leave me.
I miss you today, too. I wish you were here.
Can I see you? Just for a second.
Please.
I love you, Hyun.
Jisung’s fingers hovered over the keyboard. A drop of tears landed on the screen, and he wiped it away before deleting those words.
Hyun didn’t need to hear that. He broke up with Jisung. He didn’t want to listen to those words. They were meaningless now.
His eyes raked down the unanswered messages, and he scrolled back to the last text Hyun had sent him.
He guessed he should have figured out Hyun’s mood was different that day. Hyun’s usual response would be filled with joy and emojis and sometimes even cute stickers. But that day, Hyun had only sent him one text back telling Jisung he was coming.
He should have known. If he had known, he could have fixed it.
Instead, he let it fester, and now it was too late to do anything about it. No matter how hard he racked his brain, he didn’t understand why Hyun broke up with him.
All his thoughts and emotions were scattered all over the place, broken pieces spreading all around his feet, sharp shards stabbing into his skin whenever he tried taking a step closer to Hyun. Even thinking about Hyun and their memories together made him bleed out with hurt.
His body felt full, and his heart felt empty at the same time, contradicting each other, and despite that, every part of him still longed for one thing.
One person.
Now that he had managed to lose the person he loved the most, he wasn’t quite sure what to do about everything in his life anymore. Anyone could call him dramatic, but nothing really made sense for Jisung anymore. He’d gone and messed it all up.
Jisung turned his phone off and stared at the black TV screen before him. At some point during the day, Chan hyung had carried him to the couch of their living room instead of letting him rot in the darkened bedroom.
Minho tried turning the lights on several times and waking him up, but Jisung merely put the blanket over himself and hugged the bouquet to his chest.
Before he knew it, the bouquet had wilted in his lap, flower petals fading away and spreading across his bedsheet despite Jisung’s pathetic attempt to keep them intact.
He’d squeezed them too hard, held them too tightly, and without putting them in water to sustain them, he’d kept them to himself.
Maybe that was why Hyun wanted to break up with him. That must be it.
“I was too much,” Jisung murmured to himself, gathering the dried-up, wilted flower petals and putting them into a small, empty jewelry case that Hyunjin had given him. “I shouldn’t have been like that to you, Hyun. You probably couldn’t breathe because of me. It was my fault, Hyun. I’m sorry.”
With little effort to hold himself back, Jisung crumbled and rubbed his hands over his face, weeping all over again while his heart pounded louder inside his chest, each beat a desperate call for the one person he’d lost.
He dropped his hands from his wet face, delicately putting all the flower petals into the case before holding it to his chest. They won’t wilt anymore like this. Jisung would protect it this time. He promised.
Once he held the box with him, Jisung’s tears started coming out again. He didn’t hold it in because every time he did, it hurt even worse.
From the next armchair, Seungmin stared at a sobbing Jisung and held his breath just in case he might make him cry louder.
Seungmin wasn’t quite sure what to do in situations like these. He hadn’t actually been alone with Jisung since it happened. Other people were always there!
Slowly and quietly, Seungmin lifted himself off the cushion while Jisung had his eyes squeezed shut from crying. He gently walked across the living room, and once he reached the hallway, Seungmin started screaming.
“Guys! He’s crying again!” He slammed on everyone’s bedroom door, including their bathrooms, panicked shouts filling the hallway. “Guys! Come out and help me! I don’t know what to do!”
From inside the bathroom, Bang Chan heaved an exasperated breath, sliding his fingers into Wumuti’s hair, and those big, doe eyes gazed up at him, making it much harder to resist her.
Wumuti pulled off him with a ‘pop,’ licking her lips while remaining on her knees before him, and Chan groaned.
“Fuck, I can’t get a minute of peace around here,” he mumbled. “I was so close.”
“Your friend is in pain, Channie,” Wumuti said with a soft smile. “Go out and comfort him.”
“There are six more people out there that can comfort him, Muti-ya!” he whined. “I haven’t been able to cum in days. This is why I wanted to go to your place.”
“We could, unless you want to see a moping Hyun.”
Chan sighed. “That’s it. We’re getting our own place someday.”
Wumuti flashed him a smile and said, “So? You wanna come out?” She cocked her head to one side. “Or do you want to see if I can get you to cum in fifteen seconds, and then you can come out?”
“God, the second one,” he murmured, his cock twitching at the thought. “Please.”
*
Many, many days later, Chan hyung brought Jisung out to the park near their dorm building.
‘You need to get some fresh air,’ was what he’d told Jisung.
But Jisung could hardly breathe, even if the air was fresh. He could hardly breathe at all. Between the falling leaves and the sights of people—couples walking in the park together—it only made him recall his memories with Hyun here.
They’d walked in this park several times, at night mostly, with their hands intertwined. He remembered seeing an old couple walking before them, and he’d envisioned his future with Hyun like that. He’d told Hyun about it, too, and Hyun had only laughed softly at him, possibly thinking he was teasing her.
But Jisung wasn’t joking in the slightest. He wanted to grow old with Hyun, no matter how far-fetched it might seem.
Jisung’s eyes darted around the park, stopping when he spotted the elderly man he had seen that day, but his wife wasn’t with him this time.
Without much of a warning, Jisung burst into tears, startling Bang Chan and Felix on the side.
“Jesus Christ, what happened, Han-ah?” Felix said, tugging Jisung with him as Jisung bawled.
“He’s all alone now,” he sobbed, clutching the jewelry case with him. “She’s gone. I can’t believe she’s gone.”
Bang Chan and Felix exchanged a confused look, unsure what Jisung was referring to, but they gave him a comforting pat on the back.
“We know, hyung,” Jeongin said softly. “We know. Do you want to go back?”
Jisung didn’t answer him, and Jeongin sighed, pressing his lips together. He glanced at a text from Haru, asking if Jisung hyung was okay. He really couldn’t lie and say that he was.
“What happened?” Changbin uttered, walking back to his members as he blinked at a teary-eyed Jisung. “I was gone for just a minute!”
“Where were you, hyung?”
“I was answering a call from Rui,” he said, because it didn’t feel right being all lovey-dovey with his princess while Jisung was suffering here. “Then I helped some lady find her husband. She got lost. Why is he crying now?”
“I’m not sure at this point,” Jeongin whispered. “He kept saying ‘she’s gone’ and started crying.”
Changbin rubbed the bridge of his nose and decided this wasn’t going anywhere. In the beginning, he’d meant to let Jisung cry his eyes out as much as he wanted, but this seemed never-ending.
“Okay, we gotta do something about this,” Changbin said. “Jisung, you need to let it out.”
“What do you mean, let it out?” Felix muttered, rubbing Jisung’s trembling back. “He’s already crying so much! How much more can he let out?”
“No, I mean, let it out,” he said, gesturing with his hand. “Into writing.”
At that, Jisung inhaled shakily and looked up, and Changbin smiled, nodding gently so as not to frighten the guy.
“Right? That’s what we do, isn’t it?” Changbin explained. “If we feel anything, we put our emotions into writing, into music, right? Say it out loud. Sing it out loud. It helps, right, guys?”
“Oh, uh, yeah,” Bang Chan said. “Right, yeah. We do do that.”
“Absolutely, and it makes sense,” Jeongin chimed in.
“Right, yeah,” Felix added. “Sure. Let’s try that.”
Jisung breathed out, blinking at Changbin with tears in his eyes.
Would it help? If he wrote about Hyun? Would it ease the ache in his chest, or would it deepen the scars there until he couldn’t handle it anymore? Would it help if Hyun heard him?
Jisung parted his lips as a glimmer of hope sparkled in him.
“Or I could get Hyun back.”
“What?”
“You know! With Taeyang sunbaenim,” Jisung said, wiping his tears away. “He wrote a song about his wife, right? When they broke up. I can do it, too. I can—I can write a song about Hyun!”
“Han-ah,” Chan said gently, eyebrows furrowed. “It doesn’t always work with everybody, you know that, right?”
Jisung gulped, clenching his teeth. He looked down and fidgeted with the box in his hands.
“I know,” he muttered. “Hyun doesn’t even reply to me anymore. I just—I miss her.”
“We know, Han-ah.”
“Can we…” He looked up and said, “Can we still go to the studio?”
Even though there was a hint of uncertainty in their eyes, they all put on an encouraging smile and guided him towards their studio.
For the first time in weeks, Jisung finally found the energy to do something.
When he reached the studio, Jisung immediately curled up on the couch with his notepad perched on his knees, a pen constantly scribbling down onto the pages, filling them up quickly with the thoughts that had been playing in his head ever since that night.
He didn’t budge when it was dinner time, and Chan hyung had to practically call Minho over to the studio because he was the only person who could tell Jisung to do something, but that didn’t mean Minho didn’t have to use extreme measures to get him to eat.
‘Hyun would want you to eat. Don’t make Hyun sad,’ he had said, which was cruel and unnecessary.
But it got Jisung to eat. With tears in his eyes, though. It made the bibimbap and braised tofu extra salty.
After dinner, he was holed up in the studio, uncaring of what was around him. Everyone took turns taking watch over him, as if they were afraid he’d do something rash, like calling Hyun again, which he did, in the bathroom when Changbin left it for a minute to call Rui.
Hyun didn’t answer.
Jisung went back into the studio to write again. This time with tears in his eyes. They wet an entire page of his notepad, and Seungmin called Felix to the studio for help.
Later into the night, Chan hyung left discreetly, like Jisung didn’t know he was going to see Wumuti. Minho, Felix, and Hyunjin stayed sleeping together on a rolled-out bed while Han stayed on the couch, working on his emotions.
He did the same thing the next day, and the day after that, and the day after that.
That went on for three weeks.
*
“My chest is empty,” Han hummed, singing the words softly under his breath. He tapped his hand gently on the guitar, pursing his lips in displeasure. “My chest’s empty. Now my chest is empty. My chest—“
He sighed, leaning forward and grabbing the pen to scratch off the words he’d written on the tear-dampened page.
“Heart,” he muttered. “Now my heart is empty, and everything is a mess.”
He shook his head, clenching his jaw and squeezing the pen in his hand. Something was wrong.
“They’re a mess,” Han sang quietly, his voice barely a murmur. “I’m scared what will happen if you leave me for good.”
He gulped, crossing the words off. He didn’t want to think about it like that.
“Is it too much if I ask you to stay,” he breathed, but decided against writing those words down.
He chewed on the inside of his cheek, pen tapping nervously against the pad, and Jisung opened his phone and started the recording.
On the other side of the room, Bang Chan watched Jisung pick up his guitar and sing. He could tell Jisung was trying to hold back tears, pushing the words out of his throat.
He stopped midway when he stumbled upon the third line, clicking his teeth before restarting the recording. Jisung took a few deep breaths, composing his head and body, and sang with glimpses of tears brimming in his eyes.
It had been weeks, and it hadn’t gotten any better. Anyone with eyes would know Jisung was in love, and this was breaking him in more ways than one. Seeing him so immersed in this made Chan worry even more. He probably didn’t even notice Chan was here.
Chan wished he could do something to help him.
He considered it and opened his phone to text his beloved, gorgeous partner, who could tell him what he should do in times like this, because even Chan was stumped.
🐺: Muti-ya, what are you doing?
The reply from Wumuti came five seconds after that.
🐰❤️: Watching a movie with everyone here. Hyun wanted to. And you?
🐺: Watching over Han
🐺: Are you really sure we can’t do anything to help them?
🐰❤️: It isn’t our business, Channie. Hyun did it for a reason, and though I don’t know why, I have to respect it
Chan heaved a sigh, looking up at Jisung briefly to see him sniffling aloud and wiping his snot and tears from his face with the back of his hand before deleting the recording again and starting once more. He just seemed so dejected, which urged Chan to type another text to Wumuti.
🐺: And Hyun won’t tell you or anybody why Hyun did it?
🐰❤️: No
🐰❤️: Hyun is probably scared we might tell you guys about it
🐰❤️: Or it’s not a decision Hyun thinks we’ll agree with
🐺: It’s hard watching him be so down in the dumps like this
He scratched the edge of his nail bed before deciding to go with begging instead. There must be something he could do for Han.
🐺: Jagiya~
🐺: Muti-ya
🐺: Baby~
🐺: Can I please meddle? Just a little bit?
🐺: I promise it’ll make sense. I just know it’d work
🐺: It’s not a rash decision, they absolutely have to get back together, Muti
He could see Wumuti typing back to him, the three dots appearing and disappearing every few seconds, like she wasn’t sure what to say. But something told him Wumuti wanted to help as much as Chan did. She’d watched over Hyun for the past few weeks, too.
When Wumuti’s text came through, a smile quickly stretched across Chan’s lips
🐰❤️: Do it
It was all Chan needed to close the app and open another one. He began the voice recording, subtly placing his phone on the table while Jisung was deep in his own world.
Jisung had always been somewhat of a hopeless romantic. He went all out in relationships, and it always left him shattered every time it ended, but this time, it was different. He was in love, and it ruined him so badly that all the broken pieces were shards that plunged in him deeper. There was no way to soothe him, there was no one who could turn all of this upside down and back to balance but one person.
As his friend and leader and his hyung, Chan knew if he wasn’t going to offer at least some help, he would have to watch his friend turn into a wrecked man until the end of time.
He couldn’t have that.
“Are you deleting it again?” Chan asked, as Jisung held the guitar to his chest and fidgeted with his phone again with a discontented frown on his face.
“It’s not good enough for Hyun,” Jisung mumbled, going back to restarting it and scribbling in his pad. “It has to be good enough for Hyun. I don’t know how to make it good enough.”
“Sure, you do. Come on,” he said. “It’s just a bit of a writing block. You already got the melody; figuring out the lyrics won’t be impossible to do, and if it’s hard, we’ll help you.”
Jisung cast him a look, then sighed and sank against the couch, tapping his hand on the guitar in a gentle, fine tune.
“All my emotions are everywhere,” Jisung muttered, clicking his tongue. “No. All my emotions are now fragments of—“
Jisung’s jaw clenched, and Chan looked at him with a gentle smile on his face. There were several more tries, but it seemed Jisung was happy with none of them.
“How about scattered and shattered?” Chan suggested, and Jisung lifted his head to look at him, eyes growing wide. Chan had known Jisung long enough to know what that look meant. “And all my emotions are scattered and shattered. Something like that?”
Jisung took in those words, and he nodded frantically before jotting them down. He could sense his hyung smiling at him from the corner of his eyes, but he could only focus on his pad and redo the part for the millionth time.
He didn’t know why, but Chan hyung stayed with him all through that night to help Jisung with some of the words and then spent the rest of the night simply watching Jisung record the perfect song to show Hyun.
*
Jisung dropped his hand to his side, removing the headphones, and he looked out the glass window of the room, lips pressing together and anticipating Chan’s feedback.
“So?” Jisung murmured. “Was it good?”
“Good?” Chan said, his hand pressing on the big red button. He beamed and let out a proud laugh. “Christ, Han-ah, it was fucking awesome!”
“You think so?”
“Of course! You did work on this for weeks. This is definitely perfect.”
“I mean, I don’t know if it’s perfect,” Jisung said, fidgeting with the mic. “That’s just my version, and I want everyone to be a part of this. You can adjust it, hyung.”
“It doesn’t need any adjustments. I told you it’s perfect. It’s gonna go great with our next comeback.”
“So, should we tell the others to start recording?”
“Yeah, but, uh,” Chan uttered, glancing at his phone. “I have to go somewhere first. You can tell them about it. I’ll be back later.”
“Are you going to see Muti noona?”
Chan stood up, meeting Jisung’s eyes. There was, still even now, a glimpse of hope in them.
“Yeah,” he said. “I am.”
“Is—“ Jisung trailed off, tugging at the hem of his sleeves. He shook his head and stepped back like he was terrified he’d done something out of line. “No, um, never mind.”
No matter how much Chan wanted to tell Jisung things, he decided not to. That would be too much meddling.
Instead, he offered Jisung a smile and reassured him he would be back later in the night.
He took his phone with him, ended the recording, and hopped into his private car to drive to XLOV’s dorm building.
He knocked on their door rapidly, and it was Haru who greeted him.
“Hey, Grandpa.”
“Haha, very funny,” Chan deadpanned, and Haru snorted, opening the door wider for him to come in.
“Muti’s in the bedroom.”
“Are you going somewhere?” he asked as Haru grabbed their hat and the bag from the table.
“I’m going out with Innie hyung. He didn’t tell you?”
“No, he didn’t.” Chan blinked. “Is Muti—”
“Alone? Yeah. She just finished her bath. Rui’s out with Changbin hyung, and Hyun’s…um, in our room.”
“Oh, okay,” he said, watching as Haru headed towards the door. “Be safe! And don’t go out too late! And don’t let Innie do anything inappropriate!”
“Whatever, you’re not my real dad!” Haru exclaimed and slammed the door shut behind him.
Chan snorted, turning on his heels and crossing the living room in big strides to get to the bedroom on the right side of the hallway.
He knocked gently on the door twice and pushed it open, coming to a halt when he was faced with a Wumuti who had just dropped the bathrobe to the floor, bare skin glistening with body lotion. She already had a pair of shorts on, and when she bent down, Chan could clearly see the undersides of her cheeks.
Wumuti grabbed a spaghetti strap top from the bed, with lace running along the seams, putting it over her head and tugging it past her stomach, but it was riled up again when she bent to fetch the bathrobe.
Soft jazz was played from Wumuti’s phone, and she swayed her body smoothly to the music. Chan’s mouth was so very dry as he quietly stepped into the room.
He approached Wumuti from behind, wrapping his arms around Wumuti’s body, and she melted into his embrace, leaning her head back on his shoulder with a smile. They swayed together to the music.
“Hi.” He grinned, and Wumuti hummed.
“Hi, you.”
“Did you hear me come in?”
“You think I let anybody hold me like this?” Wumuti retorted. “Even I couldn’t hear you, I could smell you with that new cologne on.”
“Well, you do like my new cologne. What was it that you said? That I smell like a bonfire, hmm?” He grinned, placing a kiss on Wumuti’s bare shoulder as she smiled. “Want me to pour you a wine glass?”
“Sure, but dare I ask why you’re here at this hour when we’re going to see each other tomorrow anyway?”
“Because I have something you might like.”
“If you say your dick like last time, I’m going to knee you in the crotch. Minho hyung taught me how to do that, you know.”
Chan guffawed, squeezing Wumuti tighter in his arms.
“So cruel. Without my dick, how am I gonna fuck you, baby?”
Wumuti snorted. “Out with it, Channie.”
“Han finished the recording.”
That got Wumuti to turn around quickly enough. Her brown eyes widened, and she gasped, flattening her hands on his chest.
“Really?”
“Yeah, you might want to listen to this.”
“Are you sure? Isn’t that a spoiler?”
“Sort of, but I want you to hear them all. It’s…”
“Emotional?”
“A lot of crying.”
Wumuti chuckled. “I wouldn’t expect any less from Jisung. I…to be honest, I didn’t know it’d affect him that badly.”
“Told you we’re just a bunch of romantics.”
“Right, I totally forgot that time when you cried over a picture of me when I was away.”
“It was a bunny, and it looked like you, babe!” Chan reasoned. “And then I saw your picture and I just—it came out, okay? I knew Changbin would tattle.”
“It’s not like Changbin hasn’t cried because of Rui before, so you’re fine. I think Haru made Innie cry once.”
“You four really like to make us cry, huh?”
“It’s a talent that we can make men cry so easily.” Wumuti smiled and said, “Let me hear it.”
“It’s really long,” Chan said. “You’d better sit down for this.”
As forewarned, Wumuti sat down comfortably on the bed—on top of Chan’s lap—because he refused to be any farther from Wumuti.
He gave Wumuti his phone, and Wumuti made some comments about Chan’s phone background being a zoomed-in picture of her, and Chan had reassured her that nobody would know.
“You recorded all of these?” Wumuti asked, resting her back against Chan’s chest. She scrolled down the recording list, eyes widening further the lower she went. “There must be thirty recordings here. And several of them are over ten minutes long.”
“I know.” Chan bared a guilty grin. “Minho and Felix recorded a few of them and sent them to me.”
Wumuti let Chan nuzzle against her head, and she clicked on a random recording that only lasted a minute.
Ten seconds into the recording, Wumuti blinked and turned her head to look at her boyfriend.
“This is just Han crying, Channie.”
“I told you it’s a lot of crying.” He grinned, rubbing his hands up and down Wumuti’s stomach, playing with the waistband of her shorts until Wumuti slapped his hand away.
“This is just Han crying, Channie. Like, one minute of crying.”
“Yeah, I haven’t really listened to them again. He really was crying in some of them.”
“Does he still cry now?”
“Sometimes, whenever he’s reminded of Hyun, and a lot of things remind him of Hyun. It’s very random.”
“How random?”
“The other day, Hyunjinnie asked Minho to go for a run, and Han just, like, outrightly started bawling. One time, Seungminnie offered him an ice cream, and that set Han off, too, somehow. Seungmin ended up calling me for help.” He breathed out and said, “Does Hyun cry?”
“If Hyun cries, we haven’t seen it, but Haru’s sure that she does. They’re roommates after all.”
“Yeah, Minho’s been talking about it, too. We’re out of tissues in the house.”
“Oh, is that why Binnie came over to ask Rui to go to the convenience store?”
“He came all the way here to go to the convenience store with Rui?”
“You came all the way here for me to listen to Han crying,” Wumuti said, smiling and scrolling to the oldest recording and pressing start.
It was a lot of crying at first, and hearing Jisung’s voice break made Wumuti’s just as blue. He’d seen Han a few days after Hyun broke up with him when he came to Stray Kids’ dorm building to see Chan. Wumuti had wanted to tell Hyun what he’d witnessed, but decided against it. Meddling wasn’t a good thing.
However, after more than a month, Wumuti had a feeling that maybe some meddling was needed. Hyun was still upset, he could tell, from the forced smiles he had whenever anyone asked if he was all right. As for Jisung, it was obvious that he wasn’t doing okay.
After a few recordings, Wumuti got the chance to finally marvel at the melody Jisung worked on. It took him a while to get all the lyrics, but it was very visible that he wrote all of them from his heart, from the deepest, most painful parts inside.
To watch all of it come together was inspiring. Sure, there was a lot of sobbing. A lot. But the song was great. Sad. Gloomy and heartfelt at the same time. Anyone with ears would know Jisung wrote this song because he’d gone through a real heartbreak; he knew how it felt to lose the love of his life.
Wumuti listened to the last recording in the list, bopping her head along to the soft music. Chan lifted the wine glass from the bedside table and brought it to her lips. Wumuti smiled and took a sip, feeling Chan pressing a kiss to her cheek and nuzzling into her temple.
“Focus, Channie,” Wumuti said, patting Chan’s thigh. “I’m trying to listen to the rest of the song here.”
“Sorry,” he mumbled into the side of Wumuti’s neck, the tip of his nose rubbing against her soft skin that smelled like coconut. “I’ll behave.”
“Good boy.” She hummed, running her hand into Chan’s hair. “Behave, and I’ll do something nice for you later.”
“Really?”
She chuckled and squeezed his nape, looking back at the phone screen. As expected, once everything was in place, the song was anything but imperfect.
The recording ended, and Wumuti breathed out deeply.
“It really doesn’t have to be like this,” Wumuti concluded. “How are we going to help them?”
“Well, I was thinking you could show Hyun the recordings.”
“Me?” Wumuti shifted and turned around to stare at Chan. “How am I going to do that?”
“I don’t know, baby. I can’t show Hyun the recordings.”
“I thought Jisung was going to do it.”
“He was, and I told him to send them to Hyun, but he doesn’t know how to properly do it when Hyun doesn’t answer him,” Chan said. “I’m pretty sure he’s going to want to shoot a music video soon to show that to Hyun instead.”
“Pulling a Taeyang sunbaenim move? Impressive.”
“Come on, baby,” Chan murmured, wrapping his strong arms around Wumuti’s waist, knowing fully well that she very much enjoyed being squeezed like this by him. “We should do this for them, right?”
“Should we?”
“Yeah, because I’m being totally honest here,” he said, “but it feels like I’m watching Jisung get his heart broken all over again every day. If there’s anything I can do to help, I want to do it. I mean, at this point, don’t you think their breakup was a bad decision?”
“I don’t know.” Wumuti sighed, dropping her head back on Chan’s shoulder blade. “But you have some good points—”
“Yes!”
Wumuti snorted. “But I don’t know how I’ll go about it. I know Hyun’s sad, but there must be a reason she doesn’t tell any of us why she broke up with Hyun.”
Hyun wasn’t naturally an oversharer or anything, but seeing her hold back this much from showing her emotions meant it was a big deal. Wumuti couldn’t figure out how to help yet. On the other hand, not helping would be wrong, because Chan was right. At this stage, the breakup had to be undone.
“Okay,” Wumuti said, patting the back of Chan’s hands on her stomach. “Let go of me.”
“What? Why?”
“So I can go talk to Hyunnie.”
Chan gasped, squeezing Wumuti even closer instead of letting her go. “Really? You will?”
“Yeah,” she said, looking over her shoulder with a smile. “You’re right. I think something’s up, and we have to fix it.”
“Okay!”
Excitedly, Chan released his grip around Wumuti, and she could finally get to her feet. Before leaving the room, Wumuti turned and said, “Stay right here, okay?”
“I’ll stay.”
She flashed him a smile, closing the door behind her and heading to the next room. Wumuti knocked on the door and pushed it open gently.
“Hyunnie, it’s me,” Wumuti said, flinching in place when she noticed just how startled Hyun was.
As if she were caught doing something she shouldn’t be, Hyun shoved something under her pillow and wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand, composing herself before meeting Wumuti’s worried gaze.
“Muti,” Hyun murmured, clearing her throat. “Sorry, did you need something?”
Wumuti pressed her lips together, holding Chan’s phone tightly in her hand. Maybe Chan was right. They needed some help. Just a little bit. A tiny nudge. A really tiny one.
“Are you okay, Hyunnie?”
“Of course I am.” Hyun put on a smile, the same one he’d been showing for weeks. “I’m okay, Muti-ya. Just…some dust got in my eyes while I was cleaning.”
“You know I’m here for you if you need anything, right?” Wumuti said, settling down on the edge of the bed next to Hyun. She cocked her head to the side and added, “Even if you need to vent anything, I’m here.”
“I know, but I’m okay, I promise.”
Wumuti breathed out softly, placing his hand on Hyun’s knee. “Hyun, we’ve known each other long enough, and you’re a terrible liar.”
“What—”
“You’re not okay.”
“I am!”
“You’re not. Don’t lie, Hyunnie.” She frowned and said, “It’s obviously hurting you.”
“What is?”
“Your breakup with Han,” Wumuti said, noticing the clear twitch of Hyun’s lips at the mention. She sighed. “Hyun, I know that you broke up with him for a reason, and we all respect your decision, but I think, if it’s hurting you both this much, why did you do it?”
“It’s not hurting either of us, Muti-ya,” Hyun said, putting on a smile. “Han’s fine.”
“Is that what you think?”
Hyun’s eyes averted briefly to the floor, and she fidgeted with her fingernails. “I think he’s fine. I’m not sure, but all I know is that it was the right decision. If Jisung hyung keeps dating me, he won’t be able to fully be happy.”
“What do you mean? He was happy with you, Hyun.”
“Not fully. I was just holding him back. Besides, we knew it was just a phase, you know. A summer fling.” Hyun shrugged. “It was never going to last, since he’s in love with Lee Know hyung.”
“What?”
“So it was never going to work in the beginning. He just decided to date me because Chan hyung and Changbin hyung kept setting us up, and he only did it out of obligation—”
“Wait, wait, Hyun,” Wumuti said, cutting Hyun off with furrowed eyebrows. “What do you mean, Han is in love with Lee Know hyung?”
“He is,” Hyun said blankly. “They’re evidently in love with each other, and they do look good together. They’ll be a much more fitting couple than Han and I. If I keep dating Han, I’ll just be an obstacle in his life, and he won’t be able to get with Lee Know hyung because of me. I don’t want that. At the very least, I want him to be happy, and if it’s with Lee Know hyung, I’m okay with it.”
Wumuti parted her lips, unsure what to say. She lifted her hand, then withdrew it. Shaking her head, Wumuti waved her hand in the air.
“Hyunnie, I…wait,” she uttered. “Han isn’t in love with Lee Know hyung.”
“He is. I saw it.”
“What do you mean? He’s not.”
“He is, Muti.”
“But he’s not—wait, hold on.” Wumuti stopped, turned to the door, and spoke up. “Channie! Stop snooping at the door and come in! I need to ask you something!”
Slowly, the door creaked open, and Wumuti’s adorably non-subtle boyfriend poked his head in.
“You called for me?”
“Yeah, I have a question,” she said. “Is Han in love with Lee Know hyung?”
“What?” Chan squawked in surprise. “No, he isn’t.”
“That’s not true. He is,” Hyun said. “I can see it.”
“See it? When?”
“All the time, I don’t—” Hyun shrugged. “It’s very obvious, hyung. Anybody who’s seen them together knows they’re in love with each other.”
“But they aren’t! Han is in love with—” Chan trailed off, shooting Wumuti a confused look, but all she could do was give him a similar look back, seemingly as confused as he was. His shoulders sagged, and Chan asked, “You think Han and Lee Know are in love with each other?”
“I don’t think that. They are in love with each other.”
“But—” He blinked, looking between Hyun and Wumuti. It took him five full seconds before he shook his head in dismissal and walked over to Wumuti. “Muti-ya, can I have my phone back? I have to call somebody.”
“Who are you calling?” Hyun asked as Wumuti gave Chan his phone back easily. “Hyung, don’t call Han. I don’t want him to know that.”
“Don’t worry, I’m not calling Han,” he said, already dialling a familiar number that he’d memorized for years. He’d memorized all of his members’ numbers, actually.
After five rings, the call was picked up, and Chan put the person on speakerphone.
“Hyung?”
“Lee Know-ya, it’s me,” Chan said. “I have a question for you. Are you alone?”
“Not really, but, shoot, hyung.”
“Okay. Are you in love with Han?”
“What?” Minho said from the other line. “No, I’m not!”
“See?” Chan said, looking over at Hyun’s stunned expression. “He’s not in love with Han, Hyun. I’d know.”
“Wait, is that Hyun?” Minho asked. “Are you there with Hyun?”
“Yeah.”
“Put me on speakerphone, hyung.”
“You are.”
“Hyun?” Minho said softly. “Are you there?”
“I am, hyung,” Hyun murmured. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked that. It was insensitive of me.”
“No, it’s not, but is that why you broke up with Han?”
When Hyun paled and looked down, Wumuti shot Chan a look. So that was why.
“I’ll take the silence as your answer, Hyun-ah,” Minho concluded. “But you do know I’m not in love with Han, and he’s not in love with me, right?”
“But I saw you two. It was obvious.”
“You saw us?”
“Yeah! Whenever you’re together, you look good together, like a real couple, hyung,” Hyun reasoned. “And there were several things you two did on stage or when—”
“That’s just fanservice, Hyunnie. You honestly can’t believe that?”
“But—” Hyun stammered. “Well, it makes sense. You two look really good together. You look comfortable with each other, hyung.”
“That’s because we’re best friends and roommates, Hyun. We’ve been best friends for a long time. There are things that we’re comfortable with, I mean, we’re all like that with the other members.”
“That’s true,” Chan added helpfully.
“Han and I aren’t in love,” Minho said. “I can assure you that.”
“No, but I’ve seen—”
“Whatever you saw, it’s wrong, Hyunnie. We aren’t in love.”
“But—”
“I’m very sure we’re not.”
“I saw—”
“We’re definitely not dating.”
“But you two look good—”
“I’m dating Hyunjin!”
Hyun went completely still at the volume of Lee Know’s voice. It had managed to take him aback, staring at Chan’s phone like Lee Know hyung was standing right there in the room.
“I’m dating Hyunjinnie,” Minho repeated. “It’s—it’s new. We’ve only been dating for a few weeks. Actually, it’s thanks to Han that we started dating. After he asked you out, Han was the one to tell Hyunjin to just go for it and ask me out. We haven’t exactly told anyone outside of our group yet. Only Muti knows, because Chan hyung begged me to let him tell her as long as she keeps a secret. I asked her not to tell you, I’m sorry.”
Hyun continued staring at the phone, then cut to Wumuti, who was offering him a guilty look and a tight-lipped smile.
“But…” Hyun uttered weakly. “You—you’re dating Hyunjin hyung?”
“Yeah, the kid’s a brat, but he’s cute, so it makes up for it.” Hyun could tell Lee Know hyung was smiling just from his answer before he added, “And Han isn’t in love with me, Hyun-ah.”
“How do you know that? I mean, sure, you’re dating Hyunjin hyung, but that doesn’t mean Han can’t be in love with you, hyung.”
“Because, as I said, we’re best friends, and we tell each other things,” Minho said. “Like, I told Han I’m dating Hyunjin, and Han told me…well, Han doesn’t need to tell me anything for me to know he’s heartbroken, Hyun-ah. And he’ll kill me for telling you this, but ever since that day, he’s been a wreck. He tries to be strong, but…it’s hard when he’s in that much pain.”
Something tugged at Hyun’s heartstrings, and she frowned, fidgeting with her fingers. She was so sure she had done the right thing. By ending things with Han hyung, he was giving him the opportunity to be with the one true person he was in love with, so Han could be happy.
But…was Hyun wrong in the end? Had she made a stupid decision and hurt Han in the process?
“Hyun-ah,” Wumuti said softly, squeezing Hyun’s knee to snap her out of her thoughts. “I know that you think you might have done the right thing, but have you ever thought, for a second, that Han doesn’t think the same thing?”
“I—” Hyun trailed off, inhaling shakily. “Even so, it’s too late—”
“It’s not,” Chan said, in unison with Lee Know on the phone. “I promise it’s not too late.”
“Hyun, I’m not the one he wants,” Minho murmured, his voice steady on the line. Full of certainty. “I’m not the one he’s been crying and writing songs for.”
“What?”
“Oh, right,” Wumuti said. “There’s another thing we should tell you about.”
*
When Hyun arrived at the studio, his heart was in his throat, hammering loudly with every step he took.
But none of her steps faltered, not after listening to all of the recordings on Chan hyung’s phone. They had left Hyun speechless, breathless, and regretting what he had done to Han. He’d hurt Han. So deeply that he could feel Han’s heart shattering the more he listened to those audios. Every hiccup, every sniffle, every tear he’d had was because of Hyun. Because Hyun had broken him.
Hyun pushed the door gently open, thinking Han was still awake, but all he saw was the adorable, curled-up man in a fetal position on the couch, holding a jewelry box to his chest with his eyes shut.
She crouched down on her knees before the couch, frowning when she noticed the light crease on his forehead, just above the slightly furrowed eyebrows. Han’s eyes were visibly swollen, the tip of his nose and his cheeks were a tinted pink, and there were tear stains on the couch cushion.
Even now, Han didn’t look like he was having a peaceful sleep, and it pained Hyun to know she was the cause of this. If Hyun could take it all back, she would.
Breathing out softly, Hyun pushed Han’s tousled hair away from his forehead, soft fingertips brushing past the wrinkle on his forehead, and it disappeared as Han let out a soft and groggy murmur.
When Jisung slowly blinked his eyes open to see a blurry Hyun before him, his heart jumped.
“Hyun,” Jisung whispered.
“Yeah?” Hyun said softly, and the mere sound of her voice had Jisung tearing up.
“Hyun,” he murmured, his tone close to a sob. “You’re here?”
“I’m here.”
“Why do we always meet in my dreams?”
Hyun tilted her head, smiling sadly at Han. She was quiet and still when Han lifted a hesitating hand towards her face.
“Whenever I touch you, you always disappear,” Han said, trembling fingers ghosting over the line of Hyun’s jaw. “Please don’t disappear, Hyun.”
When his fingertips finally touched Hyun’s face, Jisung tensed up, widening his eyes when the Hyun before him didn’t fizzle out like bubbles in his dreams and leaving him alone and empty when he woke up.
“You didn’t disappear,” Jisung whispered breathlessly, cradling Hyun’s cheek with his hand.
Hyun leaned into the warm palm, and Jisung’s breath hitched.
“It’s not a dream, Han-ah.”
Jisung blinked once. Twice. Then another time to make sure he was still looking at Hyun, and Hyun was right here. Hyun was real. He wasn’t dreaming anymore. Hyun was here. Right in front of him.
It took him a moment to digest it, but once it finally clicked in him, Jisung jerked up on the couch and lunged at Hyun, arms caging Hyun tightly in his embrace and nearly pushing Hyun flat onto the floor.
It was real. Hyun was right here. He was holding Hyun in his arms. Jisung breathed out, and for the first time, he was able to breathe properly as he melted into Hyun’s body. He buried his nose in the crook of Hyun’s neck, smelling her and taking in her sweet scent, squeezing her tighter as he climbed off the couch and into Hyun’s lap.
When Hyun’s hands went around his back, sliding up his spine and threading into his hair, Jisung exhaled in relief, a desperate whimper leaving his throat before he went full-on sobbing on Hyun’s shoulder.
“I’m here,” Hyun said softly, running her fingers through his hair. “It’s not a dream, Han-ah; I’m here.”
He sobbed louder when Hyun rubbed his back in soothing circles. Only now was the hollow part inside his chest filled to the brim, no longer empty and longing for a particular warmth to make him full again. He was no longer freezing with loneliness.
“Please don’t leave me, Hyun, please,” Jisung uttered with tears wetting Hyun’s exposed skin. “I’ll do anything you want me to, please don’t leave me. Please, Hyunnie. I need you to stay, please.”
“I know. I’m sorry, I’m not leaving,” Hyun said quietly, feeling Jisung’s pounding heart beating against hers. “I’m not leaving anymore, Han-ah.”
“Please don’t leave.”
“I won’t.”
“It’s my fault, but I’ll fix it. I’ll fix them all, Hyun, please. I swear,” he pleaded, voice breaking as he tightened his hold around Hyun, making sure this wasn’t one of those nightmares where he woke up in tears again. It wasn’t a dream. Hyun was here. Hyun’s scent was here, filling up his nostrils and soothing every tense fiber of his body. He would know it was real. “I’ll do anything, Hyun-ah.”
His fingers dug into the fabric of Hyun’s shirt, clutching shakily at her back and breathing into her neck. Hyun’s heart throbbed at the sound of Jisung’s voice, vulnerable and hoarse.
“I’m sorry, Han. Don’t cry,” Hyun hushed him softly, caressing the back of Jisung’s head. “It’s not your fault, baby, don’t cry anymore.”
When she tried to lean back, Jisung whined and tugged her closer, refusing to let her go for even a centimeter.
“Han-ah,” Hyun murmured. “Let me see you, please?”
“I don’t want to.”
“Come on now, don’t be stubborn, hyung. Let me see your face.”
Hyun squeezed the nape of Jisung’s neck, and he finally caved, lifting his face from Hyun’s neck, but his arms stayed winding around her waist, still clutching a handful of her shirt.
“Look at you,” Hyun cooed, cupping Jisung’s wet face and swiping her thumbs over the tears that trailed down his cheeks. His eyes were welling up with tears, red at the rim and puffy. “Did you get any sleep at all these days?”
Jisung shook his head. “I tried. I promise. I know you want me to sleep properly, but I—” He choked on his voice, sniffling as he said, “I missed you.”
“I missed you, too,” Hyun said.
“You do?” Jisung’s lips trembled as the question left him. “You miss me? You really missed me, Hyun?”
“I do. I missed you a lot.” She smiled gently, touching his cheeks with the back of her hand. “I’m sorry, Han-ah, for saying we should stop when I didn’t want to.”
Jisung breathed in shakily. “You didn’t?”
“I didn’t. I—” Hyun swallowed. “It was a misunderstanding on my part, I’ll explain later, but I want you to know that I didn’t want to break up because I didn’t love you anymore, hyung. I…I do love you.”
“You…” Jisung croaked, his own voice disappearing as he took in those words. Hyun looked back at him, her eyes glimmering brightly. He didn’t know if he’d heard it right. “You—you, uh, you love me?”
“I do,” Hyun murmured. “I know it’s early for us to say it, but I do. I thought that you—”
“I love you,” he exclaimed, and Hyun’s eyes widened in surprise. Jisung tightened his grip on Hyun’s shirt and leaned forward with his heart pounding crazily in his chest in pure glee. “I love you, Hyun. I love you. I love you. I do. I love you.”
Hyun’s stomach coiled at that, and she smiled, heart racing as she shifted and placed a kiss on Jisung’s cheek. Jisung shuddered in relief, hiding his face in Hyun’s neck again and sliding into his comfort place. Hyun’s scent was enough to calm his mind and body, allowing his heart to finally be at peace again.
“I love you,” Jisung whispered. “I wanted to say it back then, but I didn’t want to pressure you. I love you, Hyunnie.”
“I know you do, baby,” Hyun said, rubbing Jisung’s back with a smile. “I love you, too.”
“Stay with me, Hyun.”
“I will.” She patted Jisung’s nape. “I will.”
*
“Do you think they forgot we were waiting for them down here?” Wumuti said, stepping into the elevator as Chan followed her.
Chan pressed the elevator button and shifted closer to his girlfriend. “If so, should we just head home? They’ll be fine here.”
“I want to make sure they are fine first. What if they’re still fighting?”
“Nah, that can’t be. Don’t worry, baby,” Chan said. “You should be worried about seeing them going to town on each other in the studio right now instead.”
Wumuti let out a laugh, leaning against Chan’s side when he wound an arm around her waist. The elevator dinged, and the doors opened for them.
“Well, I know that won’t happen because Han’s not you, Channie.”
“Hey! I’m a gentleman, baby!”
“Sure, baby.”
“I am!”
Wumuti rolled her eyes, tugging Chan towards the studio room. She made sure to glance into the room first before opening the door, and, as she expected, Han and Hyun weren’t going to town on each other inside.
As a matter of fact, it was quite the opposite. They were curled up together on the couch, Han’s face buried in Hyun’s chest, his arms enveloping Hyun’s body, their legs tangling together. They both seemed to be sleeping soundly, and they had been for a while now, based on their steady breathing.
“Wow,” Chan said, smiling proudly as he watched them take up all the space on the couch. There wasn’t even one centimeter of space between them. “I haven’t seen Han sleep peacefully like that for a while.”
“Hyun, too.” Wumuti sighed softly. “I’m glad they’re back together.”
“Thank God we meddled.”
Wumuti chuckled. “We can leave now. They need their sleep.”
Chan draped his arm over Wumuti’s shoulder, pulling her closer. He smiled and said, “Yeah, we should leave and maybe have some sexy time together in the car?”
“Ya, Bang Chan!”
“What?”
*
August 25th, 2025
Even though they had made up and gotten back together, and it had been months since their ‘break,’ Jisung had gotten clingy with Hyun again, if not more than before.
And he tried not to, he really did, but there was this need inside him, and it burned him whenever he was far away from Hyun. He’d even considered getting himself an apartment just so he could move in with Hyun, and they could live together, but he hadn’t asked Hyun about it yet. It might still be too early, after all.
So, he endured the time they had to spend apart and treasured every second he got to be by Hyun’s side. Even when they had just released a new album, and they were supposed to be promoting it every week, Jisung still tried to spend every free moment he was allowed to have with Hyun.
Jisung blinked at the TV, staring at himself in it because Hyun insisted she wanted to see their comeback stage, but Jisung had no interest in seeing himself.
He pouted, lifting his head and resting his chin on Hyun’s chest. He was half lying on Hyun’s body on the couch in the living room, all because Haru and Jeongin were hogging the bedroom.
“You looked really handsome here, hyung,” Hyun commented, eyes glued on the screen. Jisung smiled.
“I did?”
“I mean, you always do, but I liked your outfit here.”
Jisung grinned. “Can I get a kiss for looking handsome, Hyunnie?”
“What do you mean?” Hyun snorted, finally turning her head to look at Jisung. “You want a kiss?”
“Yeah!”
“There are people here.”
Jisung furrowed his eyebrows, looking over his shoulder to frown at Changbin, who was evidently kissing Rui on his lap with his hands under her shirt. At least Jisung was still keeping things appropriate here.
“I don’t think they even know we’re here,” Jisung muttered, meeting Hyun’s eyes again.
“If you let me get up, I’ll give you a kiss.”
“Do you need something? I’ll get it for you!” he said, pushing himself up on his arms.
“I’m okay. I’ll get the bag of chips I just bought today.”
“I’ll get it!”
“Do you know where I put it?”
Jisung’s face fell, then he gulped. “Uh, no?”
“Then I’ll get it.” Hyun smiled, giving him a peck on his lips—as she’d promised—and sitting up.
She slipped off the couch easily, and when she walked towards the living room, Jisung trailed after her. Hyun opened the cabinet, rummaging for a big bowl to pour the chips into, while Jisung dawdled behind her, torn between embracing Hyun from behind and staying put because he didn’t want to appear too clingy.
He ended up taking a step closer, just enough for him to hover his fingers over the hem of Hyun’s shirt. Jisung was already too needy; he didn’t want to scare Hyun away because he couldn’t stand the thought of being away from her.
Jisung chewed on his lower lip and withdrew his hand, fidgeting with his sleeves instead. Hyun would hate him if he clung to her like glue, right?
He flinched when Hyun grabbed his hand. His eyes flew up to meet her playful gaze, surprised when she entwined their fingers together.
“If you want to hold my hand, you can just tell me that, Han-ah,” Hyun murmured. “I don’t mind.”
“I want to hold you.”
“You can do that, too.”
Jisung’s stomach did a flip, and he hopped towards Hyun to throw his arms around Hyun’s waist. Hyun let out a warm laugh, patting his hands.
“There you go,” Hyun said. “That’s okay, hyung.”
“I don’t want to be too clingy,” he mumbled, rubbing his cheek against Hyun’s back as she poured the chips into the bowl she’d managed to find.
“You’re not. And even if you are, I don’t mind.” Hyun turned around in his arms, cradling his cheeks and tilting his face up. “You’re like a huge puppy, Han-ah. But I do like puppies.”
“You do really like Bbama.”
“I love Bbama! I miss him.”
“Do you love Bbama more than me?”
Hyun guffawed, cheeks turning slightly pink. She pinched Jisung’s cheek, and he hissed.
“Of course not,” Hyun said. “I love you the most, okay?”
“Okay,” he said. “And I don’t want to watch my own performance anymore.”
“Really? Why?”
“You were watching me too much.”
“Han-ah,” Hyun said, eyebrows knitting together. “Are you jealous…of yourself?”
“I’m right here!” he whined. “You should be looking at me, Hyunnie! Not that jackass on the TV screen.”
“It’s you, hyung.”
“I don’t know!” he huffed, pouting up at Hyun. “Don’t look at anyone else but me, please.”
Hyun couldn’t help but smile, wrapping his arms around Jisung’s neck as she sighed.
“A big puppy, indeed,” Hyun said, leaning down and pressing her lips to Jisung’s. “There. You don’t see me kissing that guy on TV, hmm?”
Jisung grinned, nodding his head and making Hyun chuckle. He tightened his hold around Hyun’s waist, standing on his tiptoes to kiss Hyun again, exploring the heat inside her mouth as she moaned softly into his. He pressed her against the kitchen counter, swallowing down all the muffled noises she made and gathering his strength to slide his hands down Hyun’s thighs and lift her in his arms.
Hyun gasped in surprise, calling out his name and clutching her limbs onto him tightly, but Jisung only nuzzled into Hyun’s chest and carried Hyun towards the couch, flopping down on it and bringing Hyun down to his lap. Hyun smacked his chest, but it hardly hurt at all when his heart was filled with absolute delight.
He only smiled and kissed Hyun again, deep and fervent, uncaring of anything around them, not even when Chan and Wumuti came back from their date and left again because of how inappropriate things were getting in the living room.
Jisung sank himself in Hyun’s scent and warmth, willing to drown in it if he could. As long as he was with Hyun, his emotions weren’t a mess anymore, and that was enough. Having Hyun by his side was enough.
The End