Chapter Text
"Bro..!"
"Bro..!"
"Thish ish genius!" A young man with black hair giggled drunkenly.
"I know riiiight!" Another young man with chestnut brown hair slurred as he puffed his chest out and stumbled as he tried to stand up from the chair.
Both young men fist-bumped as they laughed maniacally when the black haired young man started to turn green.
"Bro... gonna be... urgh... shick-!"
"Tobi-chan, no-!"
"Blerghhh!"
...
There were exactly two rules in the Kageyama household.
Rule One: Never waste food.
Rule Two: Never let Father drink excessively.
Unfortunately, Rule Two had been broken twenty years ago.
And the consequences had finally come due.
...
Tobio had just gotten home from practice.
His shoes had barely come off before his mother called, "Tobio? Can you come to the living room?”
“…Okay.”
He walked in expecting maybe another lecture about balancing volleyball and school (he scored 15 points out of 80 on their recent math quiz).
Instead, his father and another man was kneeling on the floor. Both looking pale, their eyes downcast and pouting.
His mother sat on the couch with another woman, frowning at both men.
And—
“…Oikawa-san?”
Oikawa Tooru looked up and looking just as confused
"...Tobio-chan?”
“What are you doing here?”
“I'm not quite sure..."
Both women looked at one another and then at their confused sons.
“…Should we tell them?” Kageyama Rina asked the woman beside her.
Oikawa Renge nodded, "We should, after all it concerns them."
Kageyama Tobinori immediately covered his face with both hands, "I still think this is the dumbest thing I’ve ever done.”
Oikawa Toruhiko pointed dramatically, "You helped write it!”
“I WAS DRUNK!”
“SO WAS I!”
“I THOUGHT YOU WERE JOKING!”
“I THOUGHT YOU WERE JOKING TOO!”
The mothers sighed in perfect synchronization.
Apparently, this conversation had happened many times before.
Meanwhile, Tobio looked between the adults in the room, looking more confused by the second.
“…Can someone explain?”
Rina smiled awkwardly, "Your father and Tooru-kun’s father went to university together."
“What?"
“They were roommates.”
“What?"
“They were best friends.”
“What?"
“They were also idiots.”
Tobio was getting more confused.
How does their fathers knowing each other concern him or Oikawa-san?
Meanwhile, Tooru was starting to pale.
His and Tobio-chan's fathers know each other? They were best friends? Roommates? He does not like where this is going!
Toruhiko cleared his throat, "Well…”
“It was our graduation party." Tobinori interrupted, "We’d had a few drinks..."
“More than quite a few a drinks." Renge deadpanned.
“They emptied three bottles of sake.” Rina corrected her.
“Five.” Toruhiko coughed.
“Five?” Tobinori echoed.
“We found two more.”
“Oh...right.” Tobinori looked deeply ashamed, "So apparently… We started talking about how nice it would be if our kids stayed friends forever.”
Toruhiko nodded solemnly, "We were very emotional.”
“I cried.” Tobinori added absentmindedly.
“So did I.”
“You hugged a vending machine.”
“I THOUGHT IT WAS YOU!”
Renge cleared her throat.
"Anyway..." Toruhiko continued, "Then one of us said—”
“‘What if our kids get married?’”
Tobinori buried his face in his hands.
“And instead of realizing that was a terrible idea…”
“We hired a lawyer.”
Tobio blinked.
“…You what?”
Rina quietly slid a thick document across the table, "It turns out they actually hired one.”
"It was two in the morning.” Renge said and then sighed, "The lawyer was also drunk.”
Toruhiko muttered, "He was surprisingly thorough.”
Tooru slowly picked up the document, his rapidly draining of color as he read.
It had an official seal.
Multiple signatures.
Witnesses.
Notarization.
Photographs.
Attached receipts.
“What.”
“There are receipts for karaoke and ramen.” Tobio spoke for the first time as he leaned towards Tooru who jumped at the contact. "And also a bowling score sheet.”
Tobinori looked like a man reliving his greatest shame, "We don’t know why there are receipts or a bowling score sheet..."
Tooru flipped another page.
“…Dad.”
“…Yes?”
“Why is there a section titled ‘Criteria for Activation?’”
Toruhiko looked away.
“…We were trying to be fair.”
Contract activates if:
- Both children willingly pursue higher education.
- Both become athletes or professionals.
- Both remain unmarried upon turning sixteen.
- Both children meet at least once before adulthood.
...
Tobio's brain had shut down somewhere around lawyer.
“…So…” He spoke very, very slowly, "What does this have to do with us?”
The room became silent.
The mothers looked at the fathers.
The fathers looked at the ceiling.
Finally, Renge answered.
“The lawyer who drafted this recently retired. He contacted us while organizing his archives.”
“Okay..?"
“He remembered your fathers.”
“Why?”
“He said…” She pulled out an envelope. "'I found this legally binding document you two idiots paid me to draft. Congratulations if your children qualify. My condolences if they do.’”
Silence.
Rina coughed, "And well… you qualify.”
“…Meaning?”
Toruhiko smiled weakly, "...Congratulations.”
“You’re engaged," Tobinori finished.
There was silence. Blessed calm and quiet
For exactly seven seconds.
Then—
“WHAT?!”
Both teenagers shouted at exactly the same time.
They turned to each other.
“THIS IS YOUR FATHER’S FAULT!”
“MY FATHER?! YOUR DAD IS THE ONE WHO HIRED A LAWYER!”
“YOUR DAD PAID THE LAWYER!”
“YOUR DAD BOUGHT MORE SAKE!”
“I DIDN’T EVEN EXIST YET!”
“NEITHER DID I!”
The fathers quietly shrank under the furious glares of the two teens.
"Maybe we should’ve burned the contract.” Tobinori muttered.
Rina sighed in defeat.
"I wanted to.” Toruhiko said.
Renge crossed her arms and raised a brow, "You framed it.”
“…I thought it was funny.”
...
Across the room, Tooru and Tobio had completely forgotten they were rivals.
They had discovered something far more important.
Their fathers were absolute disasters.
And somehow…
Those disasters had legally engaged them before either of them had even been born.
-Chapter 1 End-