Chapter Text
Zandik was fast asleep in his favourite armchair (as he were most evenings these days) snoring far louder than should be possible with a body as frail-looking as his.
You'd tried pretty much everything to wake him gently and vehemently refused to entertain 8s idea of putting insects in his pants. Kisses on his nose didn't work, nor did nudging his shoulder, nor poking his cheek, nor calling his name. You'd need a plan and fast, most of the segments were already tapping their feet and grumbling amongst themselves about wasted time.
A loud CLANG made you jump, looking around for the source of the noise and seeing a somewhat flustered looking 18 with both hands in the air and Zandik's cane now on the ground.
"Huh- wha?" Zandik roused from his slumber, adjusting the monocle that had fallen onto his chest while asleep.
"See? It worked exactly as expected.." 18 dusted off his robes, pushing away a laughing 8.
You tried to pay the squabbling boys no mind, instead placing yourself in the original's lap and pressing a kiss to his cheek to mitigate the annoyance already present in his expression. Being awoken by that many people surely didn't sit well with someone claiming to never have impromptu naps before bed.
"Ah ah, before you get cranky," you briefly pressed your lips to his to further pacify him, "they have something they want to say." You looked expectantly at the assembled group of fidgeting segments. Everyone except 35 who had been sent to take care of a meeting. They all looked equally uncomfortable. "Right boys?"
18 sneered and looked away. 65 chuckled.
"Happy father's day" Despite practicing, they sounded terribly out of sync.
Zandik sat in stunned silence, his fingers tightening around the armrests before he instead moved his hands to rub at his eyes.
"Am I dreaming? Or dead?"
You shook your head and laughed at the collective groan from the segments.
8 was the first to step forward, nearly tossing a little plush into Zandik's arms. It vaguely resembled an aranara, if aranara were made from mismatched fabric scraps and had bolts instead of eyes.
The child seemed to have opened the floodgates and both 18 and 25 approached in rapid succession with their own 'offerings'. A piece of knafeh in a box quite a bit smaller than the batch you knew the segment had made, and a new chain for his monocle.
45 had been reluctant to participate at all and decided to once more air out his thoughts on the matter by sighing loudly as he approached the stunned Zandik. A bottle of wine was placed neatly into his lap.
65 hummed while he approached. By now, Zandik had somewhat recovered from the initial shock and had taken to inspecting each item with disbelief, gently setting them aside onto the nearby coffee table.
"This," 65 began with something akin to glee in his hushed voice, "is in my humble opinion the best gift any 'father' could wish for." A small bundle of paper slips changed hands before the masked segment backed away. "Each ticket is good for one use, spend them wisely."
"You'll go to gatherings for me?" Zandik's brow furrowed as he thumbed through the handwritten tickets.
"Oh heavens no, but I'll make one of the others do it on your behalf." 65 chuckled as the other segments froze in disbelief.
You had to bury your face against Zandik's neck to stifle your laughter as 65 began herding the segments out as their arguing grew louder.
"Happy father's day."
Zandik huffed in disbelief as the door closed, the segments' angry shouting gradually growing more distant as they went down the hall. He set aside the last gift, ruffling your hair with a deep sigh.
"And what about you? Nothing for me for my effort in 'raising' them?"
You snorted, bringing up a hand to cup his cheek.
"The effort of convincing them to do this was quite enough effort on my part don't you think? Or are you so greedy that you want more?"
Zandik smiled fondly and adjusted you in his lap. "My dear, when would I ever say no to more of your affection? But first, I want to know exactly what you said to get them to agree, spare me no detail."