Chapter Text
"Sakusa, delete my number. Forget I exist."
"Already forgotten."
Kiyoomi hadn’t forgotten.
In fact, he refused to forget.
This was the seventh time he and Atsumu had broken up in their two-year relationship, and both had sworn it would be the last. But to ensure he wouldn't make the same mistake again, Sakusa made a point of keeping Atsumu in his thoughts as much as possible.
Atsumu had lost everything from his favorite video game to a pack of toothbrushes in the last breakup. He estimated a loss of nearly 2 million yen between clothes, electronics, and even the kitchen cooktop. Kiyoomi had left all of his ex’s belongings at the building’s entrance with a sign that read "Take it. It’s trash." A childish and cruel act (as his twin brother described it), which demanded retaliation, even though they hadn’t spoken for two days.
Miya managed to get some trash bags from the building’s dumpster and, with a generous payment to the doorman to look the other way, took at least five of them into Sakusa’s apartment, spreading their varied, disgusting, and foul-smelling contents over the meticulously polished furniture. Feeling particularly bitter, Atsumu opened a bag of organic waste and dumped it onto their bed.
"Correction: It’s not our bed anymore, so fuck it."
Atsumu thought.
When Kiyoomi arrived home after practice—one that Atsumu had suspiciously skipped—he nearly had a heart attack. The Black Jackals player was found unconscious at his apartment door by his neighbors, who had grown suspicious of the unusual stench coming from inside.
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"Somehow, I’m glad it’s over, brother… That relationship wasn’t good for either of you."
"Don’t even start…"
Atsumu replied distantly, tapping his empty sake glass against the bar counter at Osamu’s onigiri restaurant.
"As your brother, I’d like to comfort you, but you’re a little shit, and you know it."
"Glad I can always count on you…"
"Oh, come on, Atsumu. You two had NOTHING to hold that relationship together. Passion and amazing sex can only take you so far—long-term relationships need respect, space, and all the other things you guys clearly didn’t have."
Osamu’s brutally honest assessment made Atsumu’s stomach churn with all the alcohol he had consumed.
"And now? What’s your plan? Are you changing teams?"
"Not a fucking chance! Where’d you get that idea?"
"I mean… You’re still going to have to see him, and after everything you two did, there’s no way it won’t be awkward playing on the same team."
"Samu, I’m a professional. If Omi can’t be, then he can leave the Black Jackals and try out for the Adlers. Maybe then he can fuck his precious ‘Wakatoshi-kun’ and ruin their team chemistry instead."
"You’re a little shit, Atsumu."
Osamu replied, somewhat incredulous.
"Yeah, I know."
"But you’re still calling him ‘Omi’."
Atsumu’s voice dropped a tone, nearly solidifying his melancholy.
"Yeah… I know."
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Forced to spend the night at Bokuto’s, Kiyoomi thought nothing could be more humiliating than having his apartment filled with trash. However, Bokuto’s way of living wasn’t all that different from what Miya had done.
His emergency contact was his ex-boyfriend, and the first person on his contact list—who the neighbors had called to inform about his condition—was his platinum-haired teammate. He still hadn’t sorted out these minor details, like choosing a new emergency contact, figuring out how he’d get to the training center every morning, or even what his new diet would be now that Atsumu and his dietary restrictions were no longer a concern.
"I still can’t believe Tsum-Tsum did something like this. It was pure evil, wasn’t it, Akaashi?"
Keiji nodded while folding the futon blankets that Kiyoomi had used for the night.
"Of course, if you need a place to stay for a few more days, we’d be more than happy to have you, Sakusa-san."
Akaashi offered, trying to ease Sakusa’s clearly preoccupied mind.
"I really appreciate the offer, Akaashi, but I need to deal with the mess in my apartment today. It’s not a good idea to miss practice over Atsumu’s idiocy. It’ll be strange enough having to deal with him on the team, so the sooner I sort out my problems, the better."
"But Sakusa-kun, this isn’t the first time you two have broken up, and our teammates don’t even believe these ‘breakups’ that last two days anymore… Even Coach Foster—"
"Bokuto, I really don’t want to discuss details of my relationship with Atsumu, but we really reached a point of no return. We crossed the line. I’d like to say it’s all his fault…"
"Maybe it’s best to focus on yourself now, Saa-kun. Volleyball will always be our safe harbor, so if you want to use your newfound free time to train more, count on me!"
At that moment, Kiyoomi felt grateful to be at Bokuto’s place because, despite the mess, he knew Bokuto would always find a way to cheer him up. Akaashi was also reserved and tried to be as unobtrusive as possible.
But his apartment awaited him, and the cleaning crew had likely already started their work. Not that he trusted third-party cleaning services, but it was certainly better than collecting filth off his bed himself.
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When he arrived at practice, Atsumu did his absolute best to avoid talking to anyone. He was in a foul mood, and his hangover from the previous night's binge drinking was trying to rival the hangover from his relationship with Sakusa.
It was obvious the team noticed something was off right away. Atsumu had arrived without Kiyoomi, in a terrible mood, and wearing a rubber duck print shirt—but nobody questioned him. Strangely enough, his sets were getting more and more precise, as if the anger radiating off him was boosting his focus. Hinata was buzzing with excitement at every point scored against the sub team. At least one person was benefiting from the situation.
Bokuto arrived late to practice, getting scolded by the coach and his teammates, but his expression remained calm. He called Foster over to a corner of the court and told him about what had happened the day before, prompting the coach to call everyone over for an announcement.
"Listen up! Sakusa won't be making it to practice today, so we're going to have to reorganize the lineups for the upcoming matches. Bokuto, you're filling in for him."
"Yes, Coach!" the owl replied instantly.
"Atsumu, you're out. Come with me. Hinata, you take over setting for the A-team."
Despite not understanding the lineup change, Shoyo hadn't been with the club for very long and didn't question Foster's orders. Miya, on the other hand, knew the exact moment he was called that the coach was going to have a million words for him.
The two walked to the locker room in silence, but as soon as they stepped inside, Foster only said one sentence to Atsumu.
"This is the last time I reorganize this team because of your relationship. Am I making myself clear?"
Miya hung his head, fully aware that he couldn't step even a millimeter out of line, or he'd probably have to find a new team to play for.
"Yes, Coach."
"That being said... how are you holding up? Bokuto told me things got serious this time. Sakusa has never missed practice before..."
"There's no going back, Coach. Neither he nor I want this anymore. I... I'm just reeling. I'm not even hurting, I'm just... empty. You know?"
"Then fill that emptiness with volleyball, Atsumu. If you need a shoulder to cry on, someone to talk to, or a drinking buddy, I'm here. Just promise me this breakup won't affect the team."
Atsumu's eyes stung a bit. Foster had been something of a godfather to his relationship with Kiyoomi, so they both held a lot of affection and respect for the man. He didn't want to disappoint him.
"I promise."
"Good. Take the rest of the day off and come back tomorrow."
Miya nodded, swapped his court shoes for his regular sneakers, packed his gym bag, and left the gym still in his practice gear—sweaty and more than a little irritated. If Sakusa hadn't bothered to show up, maybe he was taking the breakup just as hard. Or at least, that's what Atsumu hoped.
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At 11 p.m., Kiyoomi finished his third round of deep-cleaning the house. Things finally seemed back in place. The apartment looked clean, organized, and bizarrely empty. Apparently, Atsumu's things used to fill corners he hadn't even noticed before. He was physically and emotionally exhausted, feeling as though a ghost were sitting on his shoulders.
The house smelled of chemicals, which the Black Jackals' opposite hitter would have found comforting under any other circumstances, but right now, it only reinforced the feeling that he was in a completely alien place. The white bedding and the brand-new blanket offered none of the comfort he needed. Not even the distinct crinkle of the plastic mattress protector—the one he had insisted so hard his ex-boyfriend accept—brought him any peace.
He could still vividly remember how outraged Atsumu had been at the idea.
"I can't believe you think I'm gonna wet the bed, Omi."
"Anyone with a basic sense of cleanliness knows that unprotected mattresses are practically swimming pools for dust mites, germs, and bacteria."
"Then why the hell do we have to change the sheets every single day?"
"Because we do, Atsumu. What's the issue with making a few compromises?"
"Simple: Because I'm the one making all the compromises!"
"It seems you have a serious memory problem, Atsumu. My fridge is packed with soy protein—something that absolutely disgusts me—just because you need to eat it."
"Wow, Omi... WHAT A TRAGEDY FOR YOUR FRIDGE."
"Look... I'm sorry, I crossed a line. We just started living together, and it's going to take some time to get used to each other's habits."
"Yeah, you're kind of a psycho, Omi."
"But?"
"But nothing. Is this plastic cover staying or going?"
"What do you think?"
Sakusa knew full well he had won by wearing him down, but in the end, the night always brought a sense of resignation and a shared embrace—which, back then, had been enough to keep their relationship intact. Now, there were no more embraces, nor any of the usual safety valves for their arguments.
Slowly, the tears that had threatened to fall during his last fight with Atsumu began to pool in the corners of his eyes, burning with a sorrow that stubbornly refused to let go.
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When Atsumu arrived at the court the next day, it was no surprise to see Kiyoomi already practicing his killer wrist-snap spikes like an absolute beast, considering that the habit of arriving before the rest of the team was actually picked up from Sakusa. The blonde hated waking up any earlier than necessary, but years of living with someone else’s biological clock had ended up messing with his own.
Now, Miya knew that extra hour would become pure torture for both of them. But well... He would face it with his head held high, if only to watch the other man suffer.
"Morning, Sakusa," Atsumu greeted him, his tone bordering on sarcastic.
"Morning, Miya."
The neutrality in Sakusa’s voice caught Atsumu off guard. He had fully expected some irritated comment about his presence, but as he set his gear down near the bench, the outside hitter simply gathered the balls, placed them neatly in the cart, and walked off the court toward the gym. He left the blonde completely alone and stunned. Maybe Sakusa was following the golden rule of "if you don't like it, leave," but Atsumu wasn't giving up the court either way. He had already made way too many compromises.
He started stretching and geared up to do his setting drills, but soon realized the flaw in his plan: his partner wasn't there to spike. Of course, he could do other drills and work on his technique, but the sudden realization that he’d have to give up the private practices with Kiyoomi, which he loved so much, hit him hard. After all, they were both obsessed with volleyball, and if nothing else worked out between them, at least they had always had that.
As he stood there holding the ball, staring into space, the sound of the gym doors opening snapped him out of his thoughts.
"Oh! Atsumu-san! Good morning!" Hinata’s slightly high-pitched voice greeted him.
"Shoyo? Morning... What are you doing here so early?"
"Well... Coach said he wanted to test out some alternative lineups for the team, so he told me to get here early, practice my settings, and get some tips from you. Hm... to be completely honest, he told me not to tell you, so please pretend I never said anything!"
"Don't worry, Shoyo... I'll... help you as much as I can."
In that moment, Miya realized Foster was dead serious about replacing him. But either way, Hinata was a well-rounded player, and it wouldn't hurt to have another option just in case.
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Half of practice had gone by, and Sakusa and Atsumu managed to keep their distance. Despite not speaking directly to each other, their sets and spikes looked completely normal. Incredibly, the whole team seemed quiet, speaking only when necessary, as if tensely waiting for a bomb to explode. Even Bokuto, notoriously known for his non-stop chattering, seemed a bit distant, especially from Miya, a fact that deeply intrigued him.
As soon as practice wrapped up, Kotarou started following Kiyoomi toward the exit, but not before being intercepted by Atsumu.
"Hey, Bokkun! Can we talk?"
Bokuto hesitated, but he had no reason to refuse.
"Sure, Atsumu-kun. What's up?"
Sakusa glanced sideways at them, pulled up his usual mask, and kept walking, leaving them alone in the corner.
"So... today was a bit weird, don't you think? It felt like everyone was tense, and you especially avoided talking to me during practice... Did something happen?"
"Hm... How should I put this? Well, to be completely honest, the team is kinda split because of... Well, you know."
"What does our breakup have to do with the team? I mean... We're all still teammates, and we need to get along to keep things running smoothly!"
"I don't think it's that simple. There are strong friendships here, and of course we're gonna want to protect our closest friends. For instance, I'm on Sakusa-kun's side, and..."
"Kotarou, this isn't kindergarten! What kind of childish attitude is that? You're a professional, not an elementary school kid!"
Miya's voice echoed through the gym, drawing everyone's attention to the two of them. Meian, the team captain, decided to step in and walked over.
"Whoa, whoa! Why are you raising your voice, Atsumu? Calm down, we're all friends and teammates here!"
Under Bokuto's harsh stare, the setter replied in an almost grim tone:
"Right. We're all friends here. That's our problem."
Miya adjusted his bag on his shoulder and stormed out, cursing the day he had ever decided to ask Kiyoomi out.
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Slowly, things were falling back into place for Sakusa. He had bought new furniture and utensils for his place, and he could finally sleep without the help of any medication. He was filling every second of his life with volleyball, and his cousin Motoya joining the Adlers came at the perfect time to fill the rest of his free time, now that he was moving into the apartment right next door.
Of course, despite the chaotic first few weeks with the team after the breakup, he managed to work with Atsumu in a very professional and respectful manner. Kiyoomi might even go as far as to say it was easy to ignore him. Now that Miya and Hinata occupied the court during his old duo practice time, Sakusa would arrive even earlier, and after his serve practice, he’d head to the gym to do weight training.
It was a good pretense. It was as if Atsumu didn't even exist in his past.
"Kiyo-chan! There are still some boxes in the hallway, can you grab them for me?"
"Motoya, I am not being paid to carry your things. And do not call me that in front of others."
"Oh, come on, don't be like that!"
"I'm almost late for practice, Motoya. My car is in the shop, so I have to take the train, which is stressful enough on its own, and then I'll have to be near all those people and their germs..."
"Cousin, let's make a deal: if you help me bring these boxes inside, I'll drive you to the training center, and I promise you'll get there early. Deal?"
"Anything is better than having to squeeze myself between the breath of strangers."
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The sun was still trying to rise when Sakusa arrived at the Black Jackals' training facility. Motoya had kept his promise, and he was about 30 minutes earlier than his usual arrival time. The night-shift security guard greeted him cheerfully, just like he did every morning.
"Good morning, Sakusa-san! I see you're early today. But I think Miya-san and Hinata-san rolled out of bed even earlier than you!"
"Miya and Hinata are already here?"
"Yeah, they arrived together about 15 minutes ago."
Something about that "together" seemed to cause a slight pang of discomfort in Kiyoomi's chest. Sure, it could just be a coincidence that they arrived at the same time, and since they were training together, it made total sense. But the discomfort didn't go away.
"Right... Have a nice one." He replied to the guard.
The outside hitter walked with quick, short steps, trying to shake off the nauseous feeling that had quickly settled in his stomach. As he approached the locker room, he heard the familiar voices chatting, thanks to the dead silence that the early morning hours brought.
Sakusa didn't know what made him stop right outside the door to eavesdrop. He didn't even care about Atsumu enough for that... Yet he couldn't help himself.
"Hey, Atsumu-san... Maybe we can break down another game together tonight? I'm really enjoying learning about setting from you..."
"Aw, Shoyo... Always in such a rush... If you keep this up, you're gonna replace me in no time."
Sakusa could swear he heard a very clear flirting undertone in both of their voices.
"You're talented and you work so hard... Nobody can replace you."
"Not even that idiot Tobio-kun?"
"Atsumu-san... Kageyama has a lot to learn from you when it comes to hardness."
Hinata’s high-pitched giggle blended with the setter’s laughter, and Kiyoomi felt dizzy.
What the hell is this? He thought.
Was something going on between them?
Sakusa felt incapable of facing them in that moment and ended up fleeing straight to the gym. He felt like a coward. A stalker. It was probably just innocent flirting, the kind of teasing between friends that was more of a joke than anything real. And they had always gotten along.
It was nothing.
That was what Kiyoomi chose to believe.
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That same day, Inunaki decided it would be his birthday celebration, even though the actual date had passed almost a month ago. It was likely a move orchestrated by Coach Foster to improve the team's chemistry, which was still a bit shaken up after the bombshell breakup, despite two months having passed.
Kiyoomi and Miya could now treat each other with professionalism and courtesy, though they still avoided direct eye contact. Bokuto had been the first to "forgive" Atsumu after a talk with Akaashi, who convinced him that he shouldn't meddle in his teammates' personal lives. Hinata and Atsumu were hanging out more and more, to everyone's surprise, except Sakusa's. He hadn't witnessed any other flirting between them, so he simply pushed the matter to the back of his mind.
The restaurant in Akihabara was more crowded than usual, forcing the team to squeeze into a table that barely fit them. Barnes and Inunaki were already wasted from the unbelievable amount of sake they'd drunk; Bokuto was whispering shameless confessions of love into his boyfriend’s ear; Atsumu and Hinata were chatting quietly across the table; while Adriah and Meian sang live karaoke, thoroughly embarrassing everyone present.
Despite being surrounded by his teammates, Sakusa felt isolated.
It was as if Atsumu had been the glue sticking him to the rest of the team. Or worse, it was like he had spent so much time with the other man that he hadn't made many other connections; after all, he had joined well after Atsumu, and they had started dating shortly after. Maybe it hadn't been a wise choice, but it was too late for regrets. Well, either way, he could always call his cousin to keep him company, so he pulled his phone out of his pocket and texted for backup.
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Motoya showed up about half an hour later, bringing along a few Adlers players who happened to be hanging out not too far away. Despite the historic rivalry between the two teams, the players got along well, especially this current generation. Sakusa didn't care much for the other players, but he couldn't deny that Ushijima was one of the most like-minded people he had ever met, so he made sure to invite him to sit next to him.
"Wakatoshi-kun, what a surprise to see you here. I know your schedule is usually stricter." Sakusa greeted him.
"Kiyoomi-kun, it is always a pleasure to run into you. So, how are things going? I know the Jackals have had some tough matches lately..."
"We've been going through a transition phase, but things are settling down." Sakusa took a sip of his water, which went down like whiskey.
"I see. In any case, if you need help with anything at all, I am available."
Ushijima's deep voice boomed across the crowded table, causing everyone present to turn around at his last sentence, despite the background noise of the restaurant. Including Atsumu.
"You're the gentlest person I've ever known, Wakatoshi-kun. It's a shame not everyone understands your straightforward nature."
Kiyoomi's reply had a target. And it wasn't the Adlers' opposite hitter.
The rest of the conversation flowed easily. Wakatoshi seemed more than interested in hearing what Sakusa had to say. They shared some recommendations from their trainers and even laughed at Hoshiumi "fighting" with the waiter over some misunderstanding about his height. It had been a long time since Kiyoomi had felt this relaxed around someone, and that definitely meant something.
Before Sakusa knew it, the place had become completely packed, and his head started to spin a bit. On top of his germaphobia, claustrophobia was starting to kick in, making him short of breath, and his mask didn't help. He didn't want to be rude by leaving abruptly, so he forced himself to stay a little longer.
"Kiyoomi-kun, you look rather pale. Are you alright?" Ushijima asked.
"I-I'm fine. I just need some fresh air. I'll be right back."
Sakusa stood up, quickly heading toward the restaurant's exit. Motoya immediately recognized the signs of his cousin's claustrophobia and went after him to help in case he fainted, which had happened on several occasions before.
"Hey, where did everyone go? It looks like half our table left!" Meian exclaimed, stumbling back from the karaoke line.
"Don't be an idiot, Meian! Almost everyone is still here," Inunaki replied.
"Where are Atsumu and Hinata? They said they were gonna sing with me, but they never showed!"
"Apparently they went to the arcade next door to try their luck at a game."
"Yeah... I bet they really went to play a game..." Barnes commented sarcastically.
"Hey! What do you mean by that?" Inunaki asked, confused.
"I mean that little fox Atsumu has his eyes on the rookie."
Sakusa walked into a nearby alley, trying to avoid people on his way. He found a small ledge where he could sit, so he pulled a tissue from his pocket, pulled down his mask, and started breathing slowly, trying to control the suffocating feeling. Motoya placed a hand on his shoulder to let him know he was there to help.
As he calmed down, Kiyoomi heard noises coming from the end of the alley; it was clearly a couple taking advantage of the near-total darkness of the area.
"Disgusting... doing that out in the middle of the street..." Sakusa commented, his voice dry.
"Don't mind them. Just focus on breathing," Motoya replied, rubbing his cousin's back.
"Ah! Shoyo! More!"
Kiyoomi felt a sharp twist in his stomach. He would recognize that voice anywhere in the world. Motoya immediately caught on to what was happening and tried to pull Sakusa back toward the street. Sakusa’s paleness had worsened, and he hadn't uttered a single word.
"Kiyo-chan, please, let's get out of here..."
"No. I want him to know."
When the moans quieted down and Hinata’s high-pitched laughter approached, Atsumu and Sakusa’s eyes locked, and the only word that crossed the blonde’s mind was:
"SHIT."