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Quinn Fabray had become a very prestigious accountant. Of course, it wasn’t exactly what she wanted, but she couldn’t just get into Yale and study drama; that would have dangerously put her close to being someone Rachel would want to keep in touch with, and she didn’t want that, she couldn’t stand being close to Berry and having nothing with her except friendship. So when her grades were good enough to get into Harvard University, more specifically Harvard Business School in Boston, she didn’t even consider the possibility of not going. She graduated with impressive prestige. Now she works in New York, her schedule is extremely busy, and she only keeps in touch with Santana and Brittany.
It was on a regular afternoon, one in which she finally managed to meet up with the couple, that she found out.
– Rachel and Finn are getting married – Santana said cautiously
– What? – Quinn choked on her coffee
– He proposed to her last month…
– I'm so sorry, Quinn – Santana's voice came out quieter.
– I… It's okay, is she happy about it? – a fake smile spread across Quinn's face.
– She is, we talk every day, so…
– That's good, I'm glad they're finally getting married – Quinn said, staring at her coffee.
– You can always talk to her, I don't know, crash the wedding – Brittany finally said.
– Brittany! – Santana said, looking at her.
– What? Rachel still likes Quinn, she always changes the subject when we talk about her – Brittany said as if it was no big deal.
– She what? – Quinn finally lifted her eyes from the cup and stared at Brittany.
– Yeah, she does… I never told you because you always seemed so sure you didn't want anything with her – Santana added.
– And I don't want to, this is just… very new information – she said, going back to staring at the cup in front of her.
A silence fell over the place, none of the three said anything, they didn't know how to change the subject, not when it was something that affected Quinn's whole life. Not when she had shaped her life to try to forget Rachel.
[Flashback]
Quinn didn't know what to say, they were 18, finally friends, but even so, she didn't expect Rachel to ask what Quinn thought about her marrying Finn. It was weird, and cruel, especially because they had spent the whole summer together, not as a couple, after all Rachel was already with Finn, but there were days when they were obviously more than friends, even if they had never admitted it out loud.
That's why Quinn had to find another way to handle the situation. Rachel asked for honesty, maybe it was time to tell her how she felt… but that was crazy, Quinn Fabray wasn't a lesbian, she just found Rachel extremely attractive and her chest tightened seeing her with Finn.
– It shouldn't be marry – the words came out before she could control them
– How? – Rachel asked and Quinn handed her a letter.
Yale. A letter from Yale. Quinn got in. This was amazing, and Rachel knew that, in any case, Quinn already wanted Berry to be the first to know about it—just not in the way she had thought to do it.
– This is amazing, Quinn! – Rachel said, hugging her.
And Fabray used her career as an excuse, an excuse for Rachel to realize that Finn and she, despite being a cute couple, weren’t meant for a lifetime.
– I just… think you should focus on being the star you want to be, instead of letting someone stronger outshine your shine. – That was the last thing Quinn said before leaving the bathroom.
A week later, Rachel was officially engaged to Finn, though with the condition of “only getting married after 20.” Either way, Quinn knew that any tiny chance she had was cut off at the root.
And then the end of the year came, Rachel was going to NYADA, and Quinn wasn't going to Yale, she wouldn't be able to pursue the career that would make her think of Rachel every day. So she studied accounting, the college was good, even though it wasn't exactly her dream profession.
[Flashback off]
November 20.
It had been 5 months since Quinn last saw Brittany and Santana, 5 months since she found out that it was official, Rachel was finally getting married. At 25, 7 years after the proposal, and from what Santana said, Finn asked her again and she said yes again, so she definitely wanted to get married. Unfortunately for Quinn, Rachel was completely in love with Finn.
It was nine o'clock at night when Quinn got out of her car, carrying a bunch of folders in one hand and a black purse in the other. The brown coat made her look extremely elegant, and her thin black heels clicked against the garage floor as she walked quickly, with a certainty only she seemed to have, even when it wasn’t really necessary.
At the front desk, the doorman called her.
– Miss Fabray?
– Yes? Do you need to see a Mr. Turner? – She said, staring at him.
– You have some mail – He said, handing her a light pink envelope.
– Ah… thank you so much! – She said, taking the envelope and heading to the elevator.
Quinn lived on the 6th floor, which wasn’t very high, so the elevator arrived in less than 2 minutes, considering it made stops along the way.
At home, the first thing Quinn did was take off her shoes and leave them by the door. She tossed her bag onto the sofa and placed the folders on the dining table, next to the envelope.
She was tired, really tired. And it was totally Rachel's fault. Because thanks to the wedding, Quinn was working way more than she used to. She wanted to do everything to get the woman out of her head. Which didn’t work very well since every day she thought even more about Rachel. It was while she was organizing the folders that she noticed the name written at the bottom of the envelope. 'Rachel Berry.' Quinn froze for a few seconds before finally picking it up and sitting on the couch. She stared at the paper for a few seconds before opening it—it was an invitation, in lilac with light pink details, Finn Hudson and Rachel Berry’s names written in a large, fancy font at the top. Quinn wanted to ignore it, throw it away, but… that’s when she noticed, the handwriting was less formal than it should be, more personal than you’d expect from an invitation, and worst of all, it had her name. Rachel wrote the invitation especially for her, for some stupid reason, but she did.
A few minutes later Quinn finally read what was written. It wasn't long, and maybe Quinn could tell it was because Rachel was afraid of talking too much…
My dearst Quinn,
It would be an honor to have you at my wedding. I know we haven’t talked in a long time, but you are very special
and I would love for you to be part of this very special moment.
Please let me know your answer.
With love,
Rachel Berry.
November 25th, in *****.
Tears welled up in Quinn's eyes, how she hated still loving Rachel Berry, she really did…
My dearst, Quinn
This… was strange. Grammatically speaking, since it changed the meaning, but also because Quinn knew that Berry wasn’t the kind of person to do things without a purpose or goal.
[Flashback on]
It was seven o'clock on a summer night when Rachel's doorbell rang. Her parents weren't home, so she went to answer it, and standing there was Quinn, short blonde hair, a white dress, and white flats to match.
– Quinn? What are you doing here? – Rachel asked.
– I was just passing by and thought we could… like, have a girls' night or something – Quinn said, staring at the floor, and a smile appeared on Rachel's face.
– Quinn Fabray came to my house on her own to have a girls' night with me? Really? – Rachel teased.
– What? That's not it! I just…
– You love me, admit it!
– I hate you, sure, I don’t even know why I came here – She said, turning her back and leaving.
– No! No! I'm sorry! I was just surprised… Come in, let's watch a musical and order pizza – Rachel held Quinn’s wrist a little tighter than necessary.
– Musical? I haven’t seen many, I’ve only seen Chicago and Wicked – Quinn said, walking past Rachel and into the house.
– Wow, these are amazing! I really like Rent, but I also like Moulin Rouge and-
– Just pick what you think I'll like the most and that's it – Quinn said, leaning against Rachel's parents' bar.
– Okay… – She said, staring at Quinn for a long time.
– What are you doing?
– Thinking about which one you might like best… I got it! Let's order the pizza now, the musical is long – Rachel said, going to the phone in the living room.
– How long?
– Almost three hours, but it stretches to about three and a half with my comments – Rachel said, waving her hand
– WHAT? RACHEL, THIS IS–
– Quiet, I'm on the phone. You like pepperoni pizza, right?
– Oh yeah… but you don't eat meat, order something that won't contaminate the part you'll eat – Quinn said without looking at Rachel
[...]
– Wow
– What?
– This music sequence is amazing
– It really is, right? I knew they complement each other in opposite ways and—
– Rachel… I know, that’s why I liked it – Quinn said, looking at her
– I’m used to people not getting the brilliance of musicals, my bad
– Finn isn’t a good example, he doesn’t get anything
– Don’t say that, he does get it, it’s just that he… well, you know
– I know
“You wrote ‘My dearst Angelica’ with a comma after ‘dear,’ you wrote ‘My dearst, Angelica’
– Sure, he’s an asshole, but that’s pretty amazing, he wrote it that way because he knew she would notice, I have to admit he’s a genius,” Quinn said.
– I thought the same thing, but when I watched that movie with Finn I spent fifteen minutes explaining why grammar was important in this case,” Rachel said, leaning on the couch, the pizza box was on the table in front of them.
The rest of the night was the same, they kept talking about the scene, Rachel was surprised that Quinn noticed everything and talked about how Finn would never have understood. They ended the night with Rachel falling asleep on Quinn's shoulder, while Fabray kept watching her until sleep hit her and her head rested against Rachel’s.
[Flashback off]
She wrote “My dearst, Quinn”
That’s what Quinn thought, she had been staring at the invitation for over an hour, not knowing if it was really on purpose or just a mistake… a strange mistake, a mistake that Rachel wouldn’t make.
“What the hell!” Quinn’s hands went to her face.
She couldn’t go to that wedding, she wasn’t even expecting to be invited… especially to be invited five days ago… Despite everything, despite not wanting to go, that little sentence stayed in her mind, and sparked a small hope in Quinn that maybe, just maybe, Rachel really did love her.
She grabbed her phone and went to Santana’s contact.
“Tana”
“Hey, Quinn, why are you texting me so late?”
“Rachel invited me to her wedding.”
“Wait, is this serious?”
“Yes, and the invitation was addressed to me, it had my name on it, did yours?”
“It did, but I’m her maid of honor, normal invitations weren’t supposed to have names, she would spend too much that way, at least that’s what she told me.”
“What should I do?”
“What do you want to do?”
“I don’t know.”
“Look, Quinn, I probably shouldn’t say this because she’s my friend, but you’re my best, so I think I can.
Does Rachel love Finn? Yes, of course, but she’s definitely not happy about getting married, she didn’t turn the wedding into a festival, she organized everything in 5 months, you know her, you know that everything she touches becomes grand. The only thing she talked about anxiously regarding the wedding was whether she should invite you. And it seems she decided that yes. So I’d take that into consideration.”
“She invited me five days before.”
“But she invited you.”
“Maybe I should go and stop the wedding.”
“Maybe.”
“I was joking.”
“Oh.”
“She wouldn’t leave Finn at the altar for me.”
“I wouldn’t bet on that.”
"Santana, you're not helping me."
"I never said I would."
"Are you serious? Do you really think she feels anything for me?"
"Quinn, she swings between not being able to talk about you and only talking about you, and it's exactly what you do to her."
"Not really."
"It is."
"I'll think about whether I'm going."
"Five days, let me know if you need help ending a marriage."
[...]
For four days, Quinn spent all of them reading and rereading the invitation, thinking about all the possibilities she had. She could skip it and let Rachel find out only when she was at the altar and realized Quinn hadn’t shown up, she could skip it but give a warning, which was tricky since Berry would probably convince her to go, she could also go but stay invisible throughout the whole ceremony and party, or… – and this was the option she hated the most but also the only one she really wanted – she could go to the wedding and try to convince Rachel to leave Finn. It would be cruel and completely selfish but… in the end, Quinn Fabray had always liked to think about herself first. She wouldn’t tell Rachel she was coming, wanting the woman’s reaction to be completely unexpected.
It was eleven at night, and Quinn was trying to choose which dress to wear. A total of 15 dresses were spread across the bed, chair, and even hanging on the wardrobe handles.
Black. Dark and light blue. Pink. Red. Green. Purple. And other colors. She had a considerable variety of dresses, but she definitely wasn’t used to wearing them since for work she only wore suits.
“Shit…” she thought before picking up the phone and dialing Santana’s number.
“Do you know what time it is?”
“I know, but I need help, I don’t know which dress to wear tomorrow.”
“So you’re going? Impressive you actually decided to go.”
“Santana, if you start nagging me, I’m hanging up.”
“We both know you won’t, but anyway, I think you should go with something dark. Rachel’s wedding is going to be in shades of light pink and lilac.”
“Alright… so no light blue either… dark blue, red, green, or black?”
“No red, it doesn’t suit you. How about the others?”
"Alright, these three are my favorites considering the situation. The first one is a navy blue dress, very dark, the kind that looks black from afar, but shines in the light."
"Elegant."
"Yeah, I think so. The fabric is satin and it drapes at the top, so these folds make it not completely straight. It has a neckline that leaves the shoulders exposed, as well as the chest. The waist is extremely cinched, and the skirt falls to the floor in a single line, it doesn’t have volume in that part, at the end there’s a small train, nothing major but it’s there."
"You definitely want to catch her attention."
"I don’t…"
"And I think you’re right, tell me about the other one."
"It’s emerald green, has thin straps and a simple neckline, the fabric is much simpler and it’s the least structured of the dresses."
"Softer then, I understand"
"Yes. Although the waist is marked, the skirt is fluid and has a slit on the left leg"
"A slit?"
"Yes"
"I see..."
"O'Que você understand?:
"Nothing, continue"
"Okay... When I walk with it shows from the middle of the thigh down, the fabric is more opaque, that is, it is less formal than the blue"
"More seductive"
"I wouldn't say it that way"
"Quinn... you're considering seeing Rachel for the first time in seven years, at her wedding, wearing a slit, something you don't wear, you want to look seductive."
“... maybe"
"See? And the third? It's how?"
“He is black”
“And your favorite”
“What? No”
“You left him for last, you’ve been doing that since we were 15”
“Whatever”
“What is he like?”
Quinn took a moment to answer
“He's beautiful”
"With details"
"It flares a lot at the waist and has crossed folds. Like the blue one, it has a neckline that shows my shoulder and décolletage."
"Beautiful"
"More than that. The bodice is fitted and has several crossed folds around the fabric, it's almost like an old gala dress, but it doesn't look outdated."
"Very dramatic, go on"
"It has no shine, no gems, nothing flashy, it's just black."
"And yet it's the most attention-grabbing"
Quinn bit her lip before answering.
"Yes"
"And your favorite?"
"That too"
“You know what I think?”
“What?”
“That it’s the perfect dress.”
“Really?”
“For someone who’s going to stop the wedding of the woman they love.”
“I’m not going to do that…”
“Not going to?”
Quinn stayed silent.
“I would go with this one.”
“Really? Black at a wedding?”
“Well, it’s an interesting contrast, and besides, the wedding’s at dusk, it’s not weird, just unusual.”
“Thanks”
"Don't thank me, I'm your best friend, my role is to support you even if this is crazy. Arrive early tomorrow and look for me, I'll take you to the room where Rachel will be."
"Alright... good night."
"Good night"
After hanging up, Quinn threw herself on the bed and stared at the ceiling for a few minutes. She was actually going to Rachel’s wedding; in less than 24 hours she would see her again, and she would be wearing a wedding dress that was probably making her even more beautiful.
Quinn didn’t sleep well that night. And she spent the whole day trying not to freak out—she had to work before the wedding, so she left the house at 7 a.m. Luckily, she was great at what she did, and even though her mind wasn’t fully focused, she managed to finish in less than 5 hours. That meant she would have less than five hours to get ready, which should have been enough time, but not for Quinn, not for someone who usually took hours just to decide which necklace matched her outfit best.
Believe it or not, there she was, right at five o'clock. The black dress fit her body perfectly, and the thin black heels she was wearing matched just right. Her blonde hair was down in soft little waves she had done herself, and her makeup was light—just enough to show she was wearing some. But the one thing she really paid attention to was using a mascara that made her green eyes stand out, something Rachel had once mentioned she liked. She wore a gold necklace with a small heart, and matching discreet gold earrings. On her left index finger, she wore a simple gold ring with small white stones around it, and a nearly identical one on her right, but double and without stones. On her right middle finger, she had a white gold ring with a small black stone in the center. None of the jewelry was flashy, all elegant—just like Quinn. She quickly grabbed the small black bag and got off the plane, knowing that when she returned her life could be completely changed.
Before heading to the wedding venue, she sent a message to Santana.
"On my way."
Funny how weddings involving Rachel always ended with her sending this message. The difference this time was that she was sending it to Rachel, and she had an accident on the way… Anyway, she was feeling so anxious that she almost wished a truck would hit her – metaphorically, she definitely didn’t actually want that, not after everything.
It was exactly 5:30 PM when she arrived at the location. Rachel would be getting married outdoors, and as soon as she walked in, she could see the decorations and the chairs for the guests a little further ahead. Santana had told her that she would be waiting near a fountain, so Quinn walked until she spotted her. That’s when she saw it: Lilies, everywhere, white, light pink, and lilac lilies. But they were lilies, not Rachel’s favorite flower, and definitely not Finn’s – mainly because he didn’t understand anything about flowers to have a favorite – but Quinn’s favorite flower, which Rachel had given her at the last prom as:
“A symbol of our friendship”
It had been cheesy, something Quinn had said to Rachel at the time, even though she had accepted the flower.
It was little details like that that Quinn didn’t want to notice, details only she would notice. For example, the way the chairs were arranged—someone looking from outside wouldn’t understand, but Quinn would. That time she had commented on how the bridesmaids’ rows should be just a little further apart, simply because they were bridesmaids. She knew that if she looked longer, she’d notice more things, so she ignored the rest of the decorations and walked to a more distant part of the venue and saw Santana and Brittany near a fountain.
– Santana! Brittany! – she stopped in front of the brunette
– This dress is really amazing – the Latina said, looking at the outfit
– Oh, thank you, your dresses are beautiful too – Brittany was wearing a light pink satin dress with thin straps that highlighted the delicacy of her neckline, while the subtle cascading neckline gave the impression that she was some kind of princess at a gala ball. The dress was simple, without many layers, and had a slit that went up to the knee. The late afternoon light, combined with the already lit streetlights, made the fabric shine. It was delicate and romantic, something you’d expect to see her wearing. Santana, on the other hand, was wearing a lilac dress that contrasted with her dark hair, with a neckline that showed her shoulders and décolletage. The bodice had crossed folds and cinched her waist before gently opening into the skirt. The dress flowed to the floor in small layers, giving it movement.
– It's not something I'm used to wearing, but I actually liked it – she commented.
– Right… I love you guys, but I need to know where Rachel is – her right hand gripped the bag strap a little tightly.
– Are you really going to interrupt the wedding? – Brittany's blue eyes sparkled.
– I’m not–
– That's kind of what she's going to do.
– No, it's not!
– Quinn.
– … Anyway, take me to where she is.
– Alright, come with me – Santana said, letting go of Brittany's waist and linking his right arm with Quinn's left – Britt, wait for me near the altar, okay? I’ll meet you soon.
– Alright… I’ll see if they have something to eat – she said, heading towards the main part of the ceremony.
– And you? Do you already know what you’re going to say to her?
– Well… to be honest, no.
– Perfect, it’s going to be an stimulating conversation.
– Santana, I really appreciate the way you support me, you know?
– My support goes as far as you putting on a scene at a wedding, because I think that’s amazing, but you don’t even know what you’re going to say to her.
– I'm not going to be against the wedding, it's good that you and Britt understand that… Rachel would hate me if I were. And I’m going to say how I feel, or something like that – Quinn looked down at the floor
– She likes you, I know that, I just don’t know how she’s going to react to it, especially since you didn’t warn her you were coming – She said while guiding Quinn down a hallway
– You can’t be so sure that she likes me…
– She does, believe me – stopped in front of a dark wooden door decorated with flowers, with a sign that read "Bride" above it
– Right… do I just go in? – Quinn started fiddling with her hands nervously
– I’ll go first, to make sure she’s alone, I won’t take long – Santana said and then went through the door Quinn kept playing with the rings while she waited; she couldn’t hear anything, which was good, because it meant no one would be there when she went inside.
– See you later, Berry – Santana appeared at the door five minutes later and received a worried look from Quinn – Come in, there's no one here besides her.
– Ok… right… I…
– You're going to go in, talk to her, and that's it, don't be so nervous about this – Santana said, touching Quinn's arm.
– I'm trying to stop her from getting married, I think I might be nervous.
– At least you admitted it
– Tana…
– I’m just saying you know what you feel for her, you just need to be honest
– Right… I can do that
– Go on in before it’s wedding time – Santana said, and Quinn went to the door, took a few seconds before opening it and stepping inside, quickly closing the door behind her, making the outside world disappear
As soon as she turned, her eyes were met with the silhouette of a white dress, her brown hair partially loose, falling perfectly over her shoulders. The white dress cinched at her waist and flared slightly downward.
Rachel noticed Quinn was there through the mirror, and she turned to her as soon as she saw her.
When Fabray saw Berry face to face, her heart skipped a beat; she might have been 7 years older, but she was still beautiful. She allowed herself a closer look at the wedding dress—the neckline elegantly and delicately revealed her shoulders and décolletage, while the fabric crossed the bust in a perfect structure. The waist was marked by subtle embroidered flowers that appeared almost in a gradient. The layers of the skirt opening at the front were majestic. An outer layer of satin fell delicately, making her look like she had stepped out of a fairy tale, and beneath it, delicate lace appeared in the middle of the dress, giving the garment depth.
It was beautiful.
Very beautiful.
Despite that, Quinn's attention quickly shifted to Rachel's face. The light makeup she wore, the delicate pink eyeshadow highlighted Berry's brown eyes, the pink gloss made her lips shine, the blush looked too natural for makeup.
– You look beautiful – The words escaped Quinn's mouth before she could stop them, which finally made Rachel look at her.
– You came… – she whispered
– I was invited, right? – Quinn raised her right eyebrow
– Of course… – Rachel's mouth curved into a small smile, she paused for a few seconds to admire Quinn, the dress was perfect on her, the way her blonde hair was wavy, the accessories, the makeup, everything made Quinn even more perfect, if that was possible – You look beautiful too – she said sincerely
– Thank you…
For a few minutes, neither of them spoke, not because they had nothing to say—in fact, it was the opposite—they had a lot to say to each other. But nothing was acceptable to say out loud.
Rachel was the first to break the silence.
– I hope you’re doing okay – her voice came out quieter than she intended.
– I’m… you know, my job’s good, it’s tiring, but it’s good – Quinn said with surprising sincerity, because even though it wasn’t her dream job, it really was something she somehow enjoyed doing.
– I never understood why you didn’t go to Yale… you used to talk about it with so much excitement. When you showed me the letter I could see the sparkle in your eyes, a sparkle I almost never saw – Rachel took a step forward, and Quinn didn’t respond immediately; she paused for a moment, thinking about her answer.
– You – the word came out so quietly that Rachel almost didn't hear it
– What?
– Because of you – Quinn's green eyes finally met Rachel's
– What do I have to do with this choice? – the confusion was obvious
– Well… if I were to go to Yale and become an actress, at some point our paths would cross, and I didn't want that – the answer came naturally, like a thought that had been stuck in Quinn's mind for years
– And that would be bad? I thought we were friends
– Rachel, please, we went seven years without talking, that's not the kind of thing friends do – Quinn's voice was ironic, Rachel hated that
– Maybe, but… we got closer in the last year, I spent the entire fourth year calling you a friend, so why would you do that?
– Because friends don’t spend the whole summer stuck together when one of them is in a relationship, friends don’t look at each other the way we looked at each other, and most importantly, friends don’t write last-minute invitations to each other referencing the other’s favorite musical. – Quinn’s tone was loaded with insecurity, something that was unusual for her.
– I don’t know what you’re talking about – Rachel’s gaze dropped to the floor.
– “My dearst, Quinn,” doesn’t that remind you of anything?
– I… – for a few seconds Rachel didn't know what to say, but it was when her eyes returned to Quinn's face that she saw the expression she knew all too well, the expression she wore when she needed to hear the truth, when she was begging for the truth. – I thought about you every day, I thought about calling you, once I went to Boston and wanted to invite you for a coffee or something like that but I didn't because I didn't have the courage, the first time I performed on Broadway I wanted you to know, especially the first time I played the lead role, I really wanted you to be with me in every moment but… – a lump formed in Berry's throat, – I was cowardly, very cowardly, cowardly for not admitting what I felt for you at 18, cowardly for not ending my relationship with Finn because I thought I could love him the way I loved you, cowardly for not going after you afterwards, cowardly for not fighting for us, when I knew the only reason you didn't was because you were respecting me, and mostly cowardly for letting you destroy your career because of me, because deep down I always knew that was the reason. – When Rachel finished, her eyes were red, struggling to keep the tears from falling. Quinn's green eyes were even lighter and flooded with tears, tears of pain, of longing, but mostly of love.
– I was there – were the only words Quinn said
– I’m not sure I understood, Quinn…
– The first two times you performed, both the very first time ever, and the first time as a lead, I was there. I gave you a standing ovation. – this time she didn’t look away
– You… were? – Rachel looked genuinely surprised.
– Yes… and I could have talked to you but I didn’t, you’re not the only coward, Berry, I can guarantee you that I win in this department. – A small smile formed on Quinn’s lips – Maybe it was better this way, Finn is great, he’s good, and he loves you, and you love him too, you’ve always been the perfect couple, I couldn’t expect you to leave him to be with me – The sincerity with which Quinn said the words hit Rachel in a different way; until just a couple of minutes ago she was convinced Quinn was going to ask her not to get married and that they would run away together where no one could see, but now, something in the tone and the way Quinn was looking at her said otherwise.
– Quinn… – Rachel said, watching the blonde approach and stop just a few centimeters away from her.
– You’re really talented, you know? Soon you’ll be in all the plays as the lead – Quinn said while playing with the ring on her right hand.
– Quinn… – Rachel’s tone came out almost like a plea.
– I hope you’re happy, I really do, because you deserve it… but not with me. I can’t give you what he can, no matter how much that’s my deepest, truest desire, I just can’t – she held Rachel’s face with her left hand and felt a single tear run down the woman’s face, who looked up at her from below, due to the noticeable difference in height.
Rachel tried to find words, tried to come up with pleas that would convince Quinn otherwise, but she knew Quinn Fabray didn’t go back on her decisions, so she just pressed her face into Quinn’s hand. When she finally felt her hand let go, she looked back at Quinn, who had a few tears in her eyes, and then did something she shouldn’t do on her wedding day, unless it was with the groom. Rachel held Quinn’s face and pressed her lips to hers in something that started as a simple peck and turned into a kiss—a kiss full of desire and love, a kiss between two people who never had the chance to be together, and would go on without having it. They only pulled away when they ran out of air, foreheads touching for a few seconds until Quinn spoke:
– Rachel… you’re going to get married in less than ten minutes… – he caressed the woman’s face before letting go, Quinn spent a moment just watching the woman in front of her – You look really beautiful – he said before turning and walking to the door, her blonde hair perfectly contrasting with the black dress, moving gently. When she touched the doorknob, she heard Rachel’s voice, fragmented and soft, like someone trying not to cry. – I love you – for a few seconds Quinn froze, she wanted to say she loved her too, but she couldn’t, even though the certainty that she was doing the right thing had completely vanished, she couldn’t do it… – I love you too – she said because, despite everything, she was incapable of not admitting that she loved Rachel, and the door closed, separating two people who should have been together, but life wasn’t that easy.
Rachel felt the quiet environment turn blurry, a different kind of silence, like a bomb had exploded next to her. She loved Finn… or loved comparing him to Quinn… or maybe the idea of him.
Comparisons are easily done
Once you´ve had a taste of perfection
Like an apple hanging from a tree
I picked the ripest one, I still got the seed
You said: move on, where do I go?
I guess second best is all I will know
Suddenly I was with Finn in the house they shared, a little bigger than they really needed.
Cause when I'm with him, I am
Thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You are the who was
Spending the night?
Oh, I wish that I, was looking into you eyes
It was raining, and Quinn had forced Rachel into her car, and they were arguing about something that definitely wasn't worth arguing about, especially since at some point Rachel started laughing at how genuinely annoyed Quinn was.
You’re like an Indian summer in the middle of the winter
Like a hard candy with a surprise center
How do I get better once I’ve had the best?
You said there’s tons of fish in the water
So the waters I will test
When Finn proposed to her for the second time seven months ago, it was on a beach, something simple, but in a way that Rachel liked, so the 'YES' came out as naturally as going to kiss him right afterward.
He kissed my lips, I taste your mouth
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh (I taste your mouth)
He pulled me in, I was disgusted with myself
Cause when I’m with him, I am
Thinking of you (Thinking of you x2)
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one who was
Spending the night? (Spending the night x2)
Oh, I wish that I was looking into your
Quinn, over and over, every moment Quinn and she had even when they fought.
The best
And, yes, I do regret
How could I let myself let you go?
Now, now the lesson’s learned
I touched it, i was burned
Oh, I thinking you should know
And there she was, walking down the aisle towards Finn.
Cause when I’m with him, I am (oh)
Thinking of you (Oh, Thinking of you x2)
Thinking of you
Oh, what you would do if
You were the one who was
Spending the night?(Spending the night x2)
Oh, I wish that I, was looking into your
One look and there she was, Quinn, as if she were the only one, Rachel didn’t see anyone else as she walked slowly toward her in the last chair.
Your eyes
Looking into your eyes
Looking into your eyes
Oh, won’t you walk through
And bust in the door and
Take me away? Oh
No more mistakes
‘Cause in your eyes I’d like to stay
Stay
Before she could kiss Quinn, she was back in that quiet room with nothing but a clock showing it was time to go up to the altar, while the woman she loved watched, or maybe not, she couldn't tell if Quinn had stayed.
[...]
Santana and Brittany were near the altar, Santana was giving some order to Kurt, who complained and walked off dragging Blaine to a corner with some organizer. Quinn arrived so quietly that none of the women noticed.
– When does it start? – The voice came out low
– Oh my God! That scared me, Quinn, since when did you learn to walk silently? – Santana said before turning to look at her friend – Oh… the conversation wasn't good?
– It was great, she’s going to marry Finn and be happy, and I’ll be happy for that, it’s nothing serious – she forced a small smile
– Quinn… are you okay? You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to
– I’m fine, I'll stay for the ceremony, I’ll leave before the party starts
– If it starts – Brittany said casually
– What? – they both spoke at the same time
– You can say that you have something against it, obviously the conversation you had with her was more than her just saying she loved him, you wouldn’t be so sad if it were just that – Brittany said as if it were obvious – She's right, if she had rejected you you'd be angry, you're sad – Santana pointed out – She didn’t reject me, because I didn’t let her respond, I… told her to be with him – Quinn’s voice came out low as she stared at the floor – Why would you do that? – Brittany asked, confused – I love her, and being with him is the best thing she can do… – Yeah, but not the thing she might feel, she loves you Quinn, you can’t just let her go, that’s insane. You’re scared and I get it, but that shouldn’t stop you from loving and fighting for her – Santana said in a tone only she could deliver, making Quinn take a moment to respond –
– I know… I realized it the moment I stepped out of that room, but I couldn’t just go back, that would be ridiculous, especially after the monologue I gave. – I think you should try one last time, you know, do that – Santana whispered so no one else could hear – No, not that, I- – before I could finish, the master of ceremonies got everyone’s attention because the event was about to start. The three women separated, Quinn sat in the second row so that Rachel could see her, way too deliberate, way too risky.
She was nervous, more than she should be, but she was also hurt, because the idea of letting Rachel leave permanently scared her, especially since it was completely her decision, and she was already hating herself for making such a choice. It was then that the officiant began to speak; Finn was at the altar waiting for Berry. She felt Santana and Brittany's eyes on her frequently, and then Rachel walked in, stunning, magnificent—but not for her, for Finn, just like it would be for the rest of his life… and then Rachel's eyes met hers for a split second, long enough for her to wish she could change the previous conversation, change what she said, but she couldn’t—it was already done.
Quinn didn’t pay attention to the officiant’s words; she was too busy staring at Rachel, thinking about what was said, thinking about the “I love you” that Berry said…
And then the vows, Finn went first, it was beautiful, because he loved her, he had loved her for ten years, and his vows described that with shocking honesty, maybe not beautifully, since writing wasn't exactly Finn's thing, but still. The important thing is that he loved Rachel Berry, and he would love her forever. The problem was Rachel, throughout the whole speech — because yes, it was a speech, since she wouldn't know how to be brief — her eyes kept drifting toward Quinn, like a magnet.
– I’ve loved you for so long that honestly it feels unreal to be marrying you. I admire you so much, Finn Hudson, I admire the man you are, the care you have for what you love, and your dedication, but mostly I love the way you’ve changed me. It’s thanks to you that I’ve learned to be less selfish, that I’ve learned what companionship really means. You are my Orpheus, being with you is what brings harmony to my life… – and then, he glanced at Quinn, in a discreet way – I can’t imagine a life where you’re not the person I marry. – And this simple sentence hit Quinn in a surprising way, she felt her stomach knot and her eyes burn, because she also couldn’t imagine marrying someone else, but unlike Rachel, she wouldn’t. Now Berry? She was going to live a life with someone who, as amazing as he was, wasn’t the one she truly loved. Fabray's heart raced in a way she didn't know was possible, her leg jittering uncontrollably, she wanted to run, grab Rachel, and get away…
– So if anyone has anything against this wedding, speak now or forever hold your peace – when he finished the sentence, it was as if the whole world disappeared, without sound, not even the rustle of leaves in the trees, just Rachel, because at the end of the day, that was what mattered. Quinn couldn't do that, it wasn't like her… she couldn't ruin Rachel's wedding…
I am not the type of girl
Who should be rudely barging in on a white veil occasion
But you are not the kind of boy(girl)
Who should be marrying the wrong girl(person)
And then an image came to his mind, Finn, in high school, all the times he wasn't the leader he bragged about being, and how he took out his frustration on Blaine and Sam by treating them badly.
I sneak in and see your friends
And her snotty little family all dressed in pastel
And s(he) is yelling at a bridesmaid(
Somewhere back inside a room
Wearing a gown shaped like a pastry
Rachel, every time they broke up or fought over stupid, teenage reasons, but still, reasons that were enough to make her cry.
This is surely not what you thought it would be
I lose myself in a daydream
Where I stand and say
At the dance, the one they had a year before graduation, they were in the bathroom, Quinn had slapped Rachel, but even so, there she was, talking about how she thought Quinn could be the prettiest girl she had ever seen, but that she was more than that.
Don't say yes, run away now
I'll meet you when you're out of the church at the back door
Don't wait, or say a single vow
You need to hear me out
And they said, "Speak now"
Fond gestures are exchanged
Then she went back to the day when Rachel said that Finn had proposed to her, they were 18, it was crazy to say yes, and Quinn felt a totally irrational jealousy of Rachel, but never said anything, she couldn’t.
And the organ starts to play
A song that sounds like a death march
And I am hiding in the curtains
It seems that I was uninvited by your lovely bride-to-be
Rachel, walking up to the altar, the exchange of glances, the love so unbearable that it wanted to leap out of Quinn's chest.
S(he) floats down the aisle like a pageant queen(king)
But I know you wish it was me
You wish it was me
Don't you?
Rachel saying she loved him, while dressed as a bride, ready to be considered someone else's 'wife,' but still saying she loved him.
Don't say yes, run away now
I'll meet you when you're out of the church at the back door
Don't wait, or say a single vow
You need to hear me out
And they said, "Speak now"
And again, Rachel at 18, smiling at Quinn
Don't say yes, run away now
I'll meet you when you're out of the church at the back door
Don't wait, or say a single vow
You need to hear me out
And they said, "Speak now"
And finally, Rachel at the altar with a phrase about becoming Finn's wife, one step away from any trace of them continuing to exist. Quinn gets up in a movement too quick to be thought out.
I hear the preacher say, "Speak now or forever hold your peace"
There's the silence, there's my last chance
I stand up with shaky hands, all eyes on me
Horrified looks from everyone in the room
But I'm only looking at you
Rachel looked beautiful... and distant
I am not the kind of girl
Who should be rudely barging in on a white veil occasion
But you are not the kind of boy(girl)
Who should be marrying the wrong girl(person)
When Quinn realized it, the officiant was repeating the question. Her hands were shaking, her legs too, but even so, she stood up, noticed all the eyes on her, but ignored them, because all that mattered was that Rachel was looking at her, her eyes shining.
– Quinn? What are you… – Finn's voice came out surprised – I told you you shouldn’t have invited her – he said to Rachel, who honestly didn’t hear – Get out of here, Fabray, I thought you’d gotten over it, we’ve been dating for years – his gaze shifted from Quinn to the door, then back to her.
– It’s not about you, Finn… – her voice was weak, as if she was searching for strength to speak
– What?
– Rachel, I… – and she stopped, because she wasn’t used to being the center of attention anymore, not like she used to. That’s when she saw Rachel’s mouth move, something like “Please” maybe, she couldn’t say for sure, but it was enough for her to set aside any fear she had and focus only on the woman she loved, the one she was desperate not to lose. – When I was younger I used to think I had to be perfect, the perfect daughter, the perfect student, the perfect cheerleader… and I was, for a long time, until I got pregnant at sixteen, until perfection was torn away from me, I thought it was the end of the world but… it was at that moment that you stayed by my side, even though I was a complete idiot and definitely didn’t deserve it, you stayed by my side. And I know I was terrible, even after that, I hurt you so many times I lost count, all because I was scared, scared of the world, scared that the little bit of perfection I had left would be consumed, scared of myself, but mostly scared of losing you, because I thought I could live in a world where we don’t talk because we drifted apart, but I can’t live in one where you hate me, hate me for loving you… – Quinn had to take a breath before continuing, tears streaming uncontrollably down her face, her green eyes even lighter, Rachel also had a few tears rolling down her face but was trying to hold them back – but the truth is, I can't even live in a world where we just drifted apart, I lived in that world for seven years, and it was awful, because I spent every day thinking about you and how our life would be different if I had had the courage to say how I felt. So here I am, asking you to choose me, I need you to do this just once, only once, and I promise I’ll choose you for the rest of my life, in any decision and in any context, I’ll choose you without hesitation, because no matter what happens, if I’m with you… I know I’ll be happy, you are my world Rachel Berry, I am completely helpless when it comes to you… – when she stopped, her hands were shaking, she finally looked away from Rachel and stared at the floor. The place went silent for a while, until people started whispering, Santana looked at Quinn and noticed how much she wanted to disappear, Brittany was whispering something to her wife, Finn had a serious expression on his face, and Rachel… was frozen, she opened her mouth a few times but no sound came out.
Quinn gave a slight smile; it was clear that Rachel wouldn't have the courage to run away, so she passed by the people in her row and walked faster than she should have, considering the whole situation. Rachel watched Quinn walk away, but what was really walking away was a life—the life she wanted… so she went up to Finn and whispered:
– I… I'm really sorry, I love you but… I'm really, really sorry – she said and stepped down from the altar – QUINN – the blonde stopped when she heard her name being called and turned around, her eyes filled with tears. Rachel ran to her, and for a few seconds said nothing, actually she didn't want to say anything in front of so many people, so she just took the woman's hand in front of her and pulled her out of the ceremony. The posts around lit the grass with yellow light.
– Rachel…
– You came by car, right? We need to leave now – her voice came out anxious.
– Oh, yes, I did, come on, I'll show you where I parked – Quinn said, grabbing Rachel's wrist and pulling her to the right where the parking lot was.
In a few minutes, they were in Quinn's car, she drove in silence while Rachel stared at the dark landscape.
– If you regret it, there might still be time to turn back – Quinn said, looking at Rachel through the car mirror.
– What?
– You heard me – she said without looking at the woman.
– Quinn… I love you, and I don't regret it, and I never will, it's just that… – she paused for a second before finishing the sentence – Finn… I didn't want to hurt him – the way she said it was completely honest
– He'll get better, maybe not today, not tomorrow, but he will – Quinn's voice came out careful, as if she’d thought of the right words to say
– I hope so – She said and rested her head against the car window.
They stayed silent for another five minutes because everything was new, and they didn’t exactly know what to say. Until Quinn's phone notified her that they had received a message and the name “Santana” appeared.
– Santana is texting – Rachel said
– See what she wants, the password is our graduation year
– Right… – She typed the password and logged into Santana's contact – “First, I’m glad you decided to do this, second, your speech was extremely gay. People didn’t know what to do but now they’re leaving” – Rachel let out a small laugh
– That’s terrifyingly something she would write – she commented
– She talks like she’s not a lesbian either
– She didn’t crash Brittany’s wedding, right? They’ve been together for ten years too – she pointed out
– Doesn’t matter, she does everything Brittany asks, and when she doesn’t, she finds a way not to upset her, that’s really gay – the phrase made Rachel laugh, a real laugh, not just a small one
– She really does, there was one time Brittany convinced herself that if they slept on the building’s roof they could see aliens… Santana bought a tent and slept on the roof on one of the coldest days of the year – Rachel recounted
– She did? That's insane – she shook her head while laughing.
And then silence again, not long, not uncomfortable, a different kind.
– Ask how Finn is and then mute the phone – the blonde said calmly.
– Are you sure? – He asked, and Quinn nodded. It didn’t take long for Santana to respond.
– “He’s not freaking out, that’s a good sign. The only thing he did was ask if we knew how long you guys have liked each other, but I said I didn’t know.” And she says hi to me at the end.
– He’s going to be fine, I’m sure – Quinn said, looking at Rachel for a few seconds.
– I know that – the response came out as a sigh. Quinn said nothing, just reached out her right hand for Rachel to hold, and waited until she could change the subject.
– So… do you want to go to my place or a hotel? You know, considering the paparazzi and stuff.
– I'm not famous, Quinn, I don't have paparazzi – she emphasized.
– You performed on Broadway, you've been one of the best voices in recent times, and they're wanting you for another lead role. You are famous – she pointed out the fact.
– Okay… maybe a little.
– So? What do you want to do?
– The hotel doesn’t seem like the best idea… – she said more timidly than usual.
– Then my place, right? – a small smile appeared on Quinn's lips, and Rachel saw it, which made her smile too. Even given the whole situation, she couldn’t help but smile at Quinn’s smile.
When they arrived at Quinn's apartment, she parked in her usual spot, but they didn't get out of the car, at least not right away, because getting out meant being vulnerable to the world, and in that car it was just the two of them, and they knew exactly what they felt and how they wanted to deal with it.
– I still can't believe I did that – Berry's voice came out low, and Quinn looked at her sideways.
– When you say it like that, it's really hard to believe you're not regretful. – the sentence slipped out before she could stop it.
– I ran away from my wedding, with you, I'm here – she said firmly.
– I noticed that, Rachel.
– Do you know what I felt when I saw you get up? – she asked but didn't wait for an answer and continued – It was like I finally breathed in years, I spent so much time trying to be who people wanted me to be, that I unlearned how to be who I want to be, and when you started talking… it was like the answer was screaming right in front of me… –
– Rachel…
– Let me finish, I didn't run away on impulse, I didn't run away because I wanted some kind of adventure, I ran away because I want you, because you were fighting for me, even though I could see in your eyes that you were terrified. Do you know how long I dreamed of having you? – Rachel's voice was low, but with great conviction, because she might not be sure about many things, but she was sure of her love for Quinn.
Fabray brushed a strand of hair away from Rachel's face and held her face for a few seconds, then kissed her calmly, because despite all the desire, what was there was mostly love, an old love that was blossoming into something new. When the kiss ended, Quinn rested his forehead against Rachel's and let out a low laugh.
– I think we really should get out of this car,” he said softly.
– You know that when we get out, this becomes real, not just for us, but for the world…
– I know…
Quinn got out of the car first and walked around to the passenger side, opened the door, and reached out his hand to Rachel.
– Come – a single word that made all of Rachel's fear disappear
The moment she touched the ground with her feet, she felt a pain radiate through the area, making her pull back her foot and let out a murmur of pain.
– Rachel? – the voice came out confused.
– Wait… – she said and tried to repeat the movement but had the same result – This shouldn’t be happening…
– Where does it hurt? – he asked.
– My ankle – she replied, and Quinn bent down in front of her without thinking, dropping her bag on the ground.
– Did you hit it or something? – Fabray asked again.
– I don’t know… we were running, I wasn’t paying much attention to where I was stepping.
– You were barefoot along the way – he pointed out, and indeed, Rachel was only wearing ripped tights, with the tips of her toes dirty with soil.
Quinn gently held Rachel's heel
– Can I? – Rachel nodded
The touch was delicate, almost as if Quinn were treating her like a precious jewel.
– You twisted your ankle – he noted
– Great… I run away from my wedding and now I hurt myself too – she complained
– At least it was a cinematic escape, people probably watched a movie with that scene – Quinn joked
– I would definitely watch it – Berry declared
– Can you walk?
– Not really, I think – she said, trying to steady her foot on the ground
– Great, then don’t walk – Quinn said, picking up the bag from the floor and standing up
– So what's your plan? Sleep in the car? – she raised an eyebrow while asking, but Quinn didn't answer and just swung one arm around her back and the other under her knees
– Quinn… – With a precise move, Rachel was already being held by the blonde woman, which made her grab onto the woman's shoulders
– You just picked me up?
– You twisted your ankle – she said as if answering the question
– I can walk… slowly
– Maybe, but you don't need to push yourself – as soon as she finished the sentence, she closed the car door and locked it. Rachel watched Quinn's expression for a few seconds and noticed
– You're worried?
– Of course I am
– It's just a sprain, half an hour of ice should fix it.
– I know, but… I should have been more careful so you wouldn't get hurt – the voice came out quieter.
– You got me out of there, that's all that matters – and as he finished, he rested his chin on Quinn's shoulder.
In the elevator, the scene was the same, as if the very idea of letting Rachel go was impossible.
– Being carried around isn’t so bad – Rachel commented with a victorious smile on her face, and Quinn looked at her from the side.
– Don’t get used to it.
– Why?
– Next time you’re in white at an altar, I hope you won’t need to run – the answer came out before Quinn could think about it.
– Because it’ll be with you? Is that it? – she teased.
– Yeah… I mean, if it works out – the voice came out almost shy.
– It’ll work out – a small smile appeared on Rachel’s face as she said the words, and then she rested her chin back on Quinn’s shoulder, who was also smiling.
When she got to the apartment door, Quinn paused for a second, because the keys were in the bag, the same one she was carrying on her arm. And somehow she managed to get them out.
– Rachel, grab the keys for me – she handed the black bag to the woman in her lap.
– Wow, how does so much fit into such a small bag? – she asked while looking for the keys – Found them here.
– If you organize things carefully, you can fit everything anywhere – she said as she opened the door.
The apartment was exactly as Quinn had left it when she went out, a forgotten cup of coffee on the kitchen counter, some shoes at the doorway, filled with a casualness she wasn't sure still existed. Upon entering, she closed the door behind her with her foot and slowly walked with Rachel to the living room, which was combined with the kitchen, just a few steps from the entrance, placing the woman on the sofa with exaggerated care, which made Rachel chuckle softly.
– You know I’m not made of glass, right?
– But you’re dramatic, I prefer to avoid you yelling in my ear – Rachel pretended to be offended as Quinn walked away to turn on the light.
– I don’t yell!
– Terrible way to prove your point… I’ll get an ice pack, don’t go anywhere.
– Don’t worry about that! – she leaned forward to shout.
When Quinn returned to the room—though she hadn’t really left Rachel’s sight—she looked at her for a few seconds before moving closer and kneeling in front of the sofa.
– I’m going to press to check the situation, okay?– she said, and Rachel nodded.
Quinn held the woman’s foot and pressed where it was swollen, causing her to let out a sigh.
–Did it hurt? – she asked worriedly.
– A little…
Quinn pressed another spot to assess.
– And here?
– No.
– Great, that probably means it’s just the ankle. Half an hour with this ice pack should help, at least a bit – she said, resting her hand on the sofa to get up.
– Half an hour? That’s too long! – Rachel complained.
– It doesn’t matter, it’s what will help you walk again.
– You can carry me for the rest of my life, I don’t mind.
– Rachel.
– What?
– Lift your foot so I can put a cushion underneath. – Quinn's expression was serious, which was enough for Berry to obey, and as soon as she did, Fabray positioned the foot sideways and placed the ice on top.
– This is cold… – she murmured.
– That's H2O in solid refrigerated form, that's why – teased.
– Wow, I didn't know I was in front of a genius – she rolled her eyes at the end of the sentence, making Quinn raise an eyebrow.
– I'm taking care of you, you should be more grateful – she crossed her arms, which made Rachel look at her – Anyway, don't take this off until time's up.
– But that's a long time!
– Who knows, maybe I'll give you a kiss after that? – Even Quinn was surprised by what she said, and Rachel pressed her lips into a small smile.
– No more complaints then – she said, raising both hands in surrender.
– You are impossible – she exhaled through her nose as she finished the sentence.
A brief silence settled between them; it was comfortable, maybe because 'comfortable' was what both of them were feeling at that moment.
– I'll be right back, I'm going to pick out some clothes for you to sleep in – she said before turning to walk away, but felt Rachel's hand on her wrist.
– Stay here…
– I promise I'll be quick, okay? – she said, but Rachel's hand stayed on her wrist.
– Half an hour isn't too long, right? – she said, raising an eyebrow.
– Right… I'll sit in the armchair then, let go of my hand – before Quinn could continue, she was pulled onto the couch.
– Rachel…
– What? Seven years apart, don't judge me! – she said, wrapping her arm around Quinn's waist, who laughed but didn't say anything.
Half an hour later they were still in the same position.
– So… done, exactly thirty minutes, not bad, right? – She said, turning to Rachel.
– Nope…
– I’ll check if the swelling went down, okay? – Quinn got off the sofa and crouched in front of Rachel’s foot – Looks better, want to try standing up? – Berry nodded, and Fabray offered her hands, and she managed to put her foot on the floor. – Still hurts?
– If I say yes, does the VIP treatment keep going? – she joked.
– It’ll keep going no matter what you say – she said sincerely.
– Then no, it doesn’t hurt, at least not like before, I can walk, or at least I think I can…
– Good – Quinn smiled, relieved to see her balancing, then looked at Rachel’s dress; the hem was still dirty from the dirt, the fabric a bit wrinkled from the rush, and her hair slightly messy.
– So what do you want to do now?
– What do you mean?
– You must be exhausted, because if I still know you, I know you must have woken up at seven in the morning, had breakfast, and that was the only thing you ate all day, besides it being nine at night, and you’ve always gone to bed early. – Quinn said as if it were obvious.
– Yeah… actually, that’s exactly how it happened.
– So, why don’t you take a shower, I’ll order something for us to eat and then we’ll go to sleep? – Quinn said, holding both of Rachel’s hands, and she smiled in response.
– That sounds like a very well thought-out plan.
– I put it together at the last minute, I’ve never had a runaway fiancée in my house before – he commented.
– Ex-fiancée – she corrected – and I think it’s a great plan… I also wasn’t planning on taking off my wedding dress in the house of the ex-cheerleader I fell in love with at seventeen.
– I really like that your plans changed…
– Me too – she smiled and squeezed Quinn's hand a little
– Come on, I'll show you where the bathroom is – she said, guiding her through the apartment to a door at the end of the hallway – well, you can use anything you need, I'll leave the clothes on my bed, it's in the room right next door – Rachel nodded before the door was closed
Quinn waited for twenty minutes in the room, until Rachel finally appeared in the hallway, her hair wet and loose, a bit of makeup left under her eyes. She was wearing a light blue and white striped cotton pajama belonging to Quinn, clearly too big for her. The loose shirt hung off one of her shoulders, one sleeve covering almost her entire hand, and the pant leg brushed the floor slightly.
– Your clothes won't fit me – Rachel commented casually – I thought I could wear the fancy clothes I know you must have in your wardrobe.
– They're not fancy, they're completely normal…
– Have you looked at the dress you're wearing? It's way more than “normal.”
– Because I went to a wedding and I wanted to catch the bride's attention – she admitted without thinking much.
– So even your outfit was planned?
– Yeah… kind of – She looked away and felt a slight blush rise on her cheeks, which made Rachel give a discreet smile and move closer.
– I liked it… you look beautiful in it, I thought I already said that – she said softly, which made Quinn smile.
– I think I already said it, but it's good to know you liked it, I can wear it more often.
– Oh, I would definitely love that! – she said in a mock thoughtful tone and then smiled.
– Anyway… I ordered pizza, it was the most creative I could be – Quinn changed the subject
– I like pizza, so it's all good, you can go take a shower, if you get there I’ll come down to get you
– Are you sure? Someone could see you, you know how people are…
– Absolutely sure, after today, I think I’m going to be incapable of caring what people think of me – he said, pulling Quinn off the couch
– Alright, my keys are on the counter, the doorman will call when you arrive – he explained before heading to the hallway and disappearing
Rachel was putting the pizza box on the counter when Quinn appeared in the kitchen, her black dress replaced by a slim plaid pants in shades of black, white, and gray. On top, she was wearing a black tank top with thin straps, her blonde hair damp and falling over her shoulders. Rachel stared at her longer than she should have, which Quinn immediately noticed.
– What’s up?
– Nothing – the answer was too quick to be true. Quinn smiled slightly and shook his head before going to the cabinet to grab the plates. – How can you look pretty even in pajamas? That’s crazy.
– Rachel
– Yes?
– You look pretty in pajamas.
– I don’t, I look normal, I’m beautiful of course, but I look normal. You look pretty, that’s humanly impossible! – he gestured as he spoke. By this point, Quinn was already next to her with the plates in his hands.
– Well, to me you look gorgeous, that’s what matters – he shrugged and planted a kiss on Rachel’s forehead, making her blush and look away.
It was almost midnight when they finally decided it was time to go to sleep, or rather, Rachel's body just couldn't stand anymore.
– You can sleep in my room, the bed is better – Quinn said casually, making Rachel stare at her.
– What do you mean?
– I want you to be comfortable, it’s better there.
– Quinn… I thought we were going to sleep together – she said quieter than she intended.
– Ah… I… I thought you wouldn’t want to, to be honest.
– Really? Or were you just too shy to ask?
– I…
– That’s what I thought – she said, heading to Quinn's room.
In the room, the light was dim, and the silence lasted two minutes until Quinn approached Rachel, who was staring at the movement on the street through the window.
– Are you okay?
– I am, it's just that… – she paused to turn to the blonde – I'm just thinking about how this choice is going to make me happy. – Quinn smiled faintly upon hearing her.
– You're going to make me very happy too… – Quinn's hand slowly reached Rachel's face. Her fingers touched her cheek, as if the moment could be taken away from her - because part of her still thought this might be a dream - Her thumb caressed her skin in a slow gesture. For a moment, Rachel closed her eyes, perhaps to hold onto the moment or just to feel it fully, she didn't even know, tilting her head slightly, resting her face in Quinn's palm. They stayed like that for a few seconds until Rachel opened her eyes and found Quinn staring back with sparkling eyes, as if trying to memorize every detail of her face. And then she closed the distance between them, hoping Rachel would notice her intention, which she did, and when they sealed their lips, the kiss was gentle and slow, unhurried, because they didn’t need to rush, at least not anymore. When they pulled away, Quinn gently lifted Rachel's chin, making her look fully into her eyes. – I love you…
– I love you too Quinn