Chapter Text
“Drew have you started writing the script for your collab?” Danny was cooking breakfast on the stove, Drew sitting next to the island working on a video.
“No? Have you?” Drew responded with an uncertain voice.
“Well yes.”
“Oh come on, what the fuck’s it even about?”
“We’re gonna review the worst rated dating games on steam.”
“Ooh la-la, is this a date?” Drew asked rhetorically, sarcasm drowning his voice. A part of Danny wished it wasn’t sarcasm.
Danny rolled his eyes at Drew when he took a second to stop frying their sausage.
“Hey, I’m the making us food!”
“Yeah and you ask a dumb fucking question.”
“What! Shitty dating games aren’t romantic enough for you? Don’t turn any gears..?”
“Gross.” Danny’s cheeks grew a plush pink color.
“Aww.. baby’s first sex talk?”
“Fuck off.”
“I don’t know if I will~”
Drew liked to push Danny’s boundaries a lot. It used to not be a big deal but Danny had started referring to Drew as less of a best friend and more as a crush, feelings developing strong inside for Drew. Drew has stepped away from the stove to lean over Danny, taunting him. There was just something about him to Danny, his ocean eyes, his sense of humor, the sick rants he’d do. How he looked after coming out of the shower. The way he’d noogie Danny’s head.
Danny was avoiding eye contact as the sizzling on the pan grew louder. “Your eggs are burning.” He turned his head over to look Drew in the eyes. He wiped that smug smile off his face and walked away to finish cooking.
Drew tossed over Danny’s egg sandwich on the cheap plastic plates they’d gotten at Goodwill for only a few bucks.
He didn’t regret moving to Florida, but he wasn’t a fan of it per-say. He’d find himself fantasizing over Drew and their future. Worst part, he’d rather die than admit his feelings for his best friend. Drew probably wasn’t even gay, or atleast bi. Danny thought he was straight, until he moved in. He didn’t really know what he wanted now.
Drew had taken his own eggs and ran off to eat them in his noticeably bigger room, probably while editing. Danny scarfed down the sandwich and opened his messages with Laura. Danny didn’t really come to terms with the idea of him having a crush at 25. Laura was the only person he’d confided in about his weird mixed up feeling for Drew. Laura wasn’t in the best mood however..
Danny: Hey
Laura: What do you want?
Danny: Talk to me?
Laura: Like call?
Danny: Can’t
Laura: Why?
Danny: I don’t live alone.
Laura: Neither do I?
Laura: Oh.
Laura: Seriously Danny?
Danny: What?
Laura: You’re twenty fucking five this isn’t middle school. The rest of us are married and you can’t even admit to liking someone. I know you’re better than this.
Danny: Didn’t have to lay into me.
Laura: How often are you even thinking about him?
Danny: I don’t know, I just, you know, I don’t even know if I actually like him? I think I’m straight and all.
Laura: Just like the way you didn’t even know if you liked me?
Danny: No, no, no, I knew I liked you.
Laura: You waited so long that by the time we actually got together it was forced. I waited 4 years and by the time we made it official I didn’t even like you anymore.
Danny: You deserved better.
Laura: Yeah, and that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve anything either.
Danny: What’s that supposed to mean?
Laura: Either ask out Drew or get another boyfriend.
Danny: …
Danny: Why’s it gotta be a guy?
Laura: Because you need to find out if you’re into them.
Danny: And where would I find a boyfriend?
Laura: Hinge?
Danny: Fuck no, I’m literally a YouTuber.
Laura: Gay bar?
Danny: What..?
Laura: Hmm maybe the other room?
Danny: Fuck off
Danny shut off his phone and made a b-line for his room. He didn’t have any scripts to write since the upcoming video was a collab. But he could brainstorm future videos in the meantime. He couldn’t get his mind off what she’d said though. He couldn’t remember if she’d called him pathetic but that word stuck like a splinter. Pathetic. Pathetic? For what? Refusing to accept that he was gay? Is he even gay?
There was a series of rhythmical knocks on his door. Only Drew knocked like that.
“Uh-yeah? Come in!”
“Whatcha doin’?” Drew opened the door and walked over besides Danny.
“Who are you, Isabella?”
“Huh?”
“You know, from Phineas and Ferb?”
“Huh?”
“You’ve never seen Phineas and Ferb?”
“No.”
“Oh.”
Awkward silence followed for the next few seconds.
“So when do you wanna film your video?” Drew questioned him.
“Uhm just..” Danny took his hands off his keyboard and smacked them on his thighs, turning around his spinning chair to face Drew. “Whenever’s best for you?”
“Tomorrow morning?”
“You never film in mornings.” Danny chucked at the thought, considering Drew hated waking up or doing anything in the morning.
“Yeah and?”
“Yeah and if I try to wake you up early you’re going to be a fucking nightmare.”
“Ah, trying to turn a new leaf you know?”
Danny giggled and turned back towards his computer, “Okay.”
“Wowww.. you just never believe in me. You’re just so toxic.” Drew taunted him sarcastically.
“Shut up assbag.”
“Okay dickhead.”
Drew paused, turning to leave but stopping with a foot in the door. “Actually.. I don’t know if tomorrow morning will work. Well probably need more time to check out the content and I don’t want to spent the entire day just filming.”
“Okay.. tomorrow night? 6 or something?”
“Yeah, yeah that’ll be fine.” Drew had walked back over to Danny and lifted his hands up to comb through Danny’s hair. He doesn’t think he’s doing it on purpose, but he’s doing it nonetheless. It’s Danny’s favorite thing, but he never brings it up because it seems just a little too close. Teetering on the boundary of close friends and something else. When Drew would do it he’d just focus in on the screen in front of him and mess up Danny’s well done strands. Danny tried his best to keep looking busy or move on the computer so Drew wouldn’t loose focus and stop. He must’ve zoned out for too long though, eventually Drew dropped his hands and turned around to leave for a final time.
“Alright, see you tomorrow man.”
when he heard the click of his door closing he let out a huge sigh he didn’t know he was holding. Danny practically melted into a puddle across his chair. He giggled lightly before slumping out of the chair and onto his bed. He squeezed his pillow and squinted his eyes, blushing furiously. He didn’t know what he’d do for the rest of the day, but it didn’t even matter at this point. His mind melted into mush over the thought.. “Drew..”
Danny stood in a haze, limbs drowsy.
The back of Drew was visible in front of him. He walked slowly but wasn’t getting anywhere, all the sudden appearing being the figure with his hand heavy on his shoulder. Drew turned around with a stern face.
“Seriously?” Drew stared through Danny like he wanted to tear through his flesh.
“Drew?”
“I said get away asshole!” Drew shoved him over, Danny felt as light as feathers on the soft floor. He opened his mouth to speak but couldn’t say a word. “I don’t like you! You’re disgusting! We were just friends!”
Danny’s breath hitched, he tried to yell or speak or retaliate but no matter how hard he fought he couldn’t moved. It felt so real and overpowering, his teeth clenching and shaking.
“This is why you’re alone. This is why you’ll never recover.” Danny’s subconscious took in Drew’s words like they were from the bible. “Nobody likes you. You failed again.”
“Again.” Danny repeated. He did like Laura, he really did.
His body gushed across the floor and in a flash he was hyperventilating on his bed.
“What.. the.. fuck.. what.. that..” He spoke in between breaths.
The dim morning spoke through his shades. He squinted his eyes for a second then shuffled through his sheets for his phone. It hit under his pillow expelling the time.
9:16AM
No memory of falling asleep, and memory of the nightmare slowly fading as his body woke up more. His pen lied on the night stand next to the small, crumpled bed. As if to tell him what happened.
“Oh.” He said audibly as he realized why he felt so hazy. He opened the drawer and shoved it in before getting back on his feet. Drew said he had plans, so, he’d be alone for the next few hours, no big deal. Memories of the nightmare haunted him, Drew screaming and yelling, it wasn’t real but it felt real.
Danny shook it off of him and moved on, he always does.
Blurring time he spent it doing the usual, when he wasn’t working he lied on the couch staring at the ceiling. Both earbuds plugging his ears. Flowing a sad stereo mix with songs like Solider Boy, by The Shirelles, or Cowpoke, or a Frank Ocean mix. Something in his heart longed for sorrow but no reason to give, he wished he was in a better place. In order to love someone else you have to love yourself first, and he wasn’t there yet. Days where Drew was out of the house he felt full enough to just cry like a little kid, let it all out. He didn’t want to work, he didn’t want to speak, just feel.
The encore for Solider Boy came along, “Solider boy, oh my little soilder boy.. I’ll be true to you.” He pictures Drew’s soft eyes on him. “I’ll be true to you…” If it was a sign, he skipped it like a flat stone. Feelings messing with him throughout his subconscious and conscious mind.
—
Drew sat in his own chair he’d pulled across the hall, scrolling twitter as Danny made sure all the games they were gonna check out were downloaded.
“Okay, we’re not filming today, just checking some out and if they get interesting from the first point, we’ll save them for the video.”
“Okay man.” Drew slumped down in his chair, terrible posture but Danny was still attracted to him nonetheless.
Danny opened the saved folder he had on steam of some of the games. While they all had cheap icons and looked incredibly dumb, Drew pointed at one immediately bursting into laughter.
“SchoolLove Dating Simulator!” Read out in bright yellow and pink letters. A anime girl in a school uniform with a small skirt showing on the front, not unlike Doki-Doki Literature Club.
“Do you fuck teenage girls in this one?!” Drew yelled in between laughs. Danny rolled his eyes and took it as a sign to begin with it. The opening screen played upbeat non-copyright music, it was very colorful, and had a two player option.
“Hey! We can both fuck teenage girls!” Danny nudged Drew’s shoulder.
“Let’s go! Score!” Drew pumped his fists in the air waiting for Danny to make the next move.
Clicking the two player option led them to a screen asking for the names of Players 1 and 2.
Player 1: Danny
Player 2: Drew
A girl with a pop up box stood outside the school, which was a stockholder image. Declaring to speak to them.
“Hey there Danny and Drew! I’m Poppy! Welcome to SchoolLove Dating simulator!”
Danny spammed X to skip through her dialogue. “Hey come on dickhead I wanted to see what she said!” Drew groaned.
“Okay, time to roll your dice for luck! Danny goes first!” A colorful dice popped on the screen with the letters, “click once to spin!” Danny spun the dice landing on a 5.
“Wowie! You got good luck! This will show in your gameplay! Your turn Drew!”
“What the hell does good luck mean?” Danny asked confused at the game physics.
Drew took the mouse to right-click. He rolled a 1.
“Uh oh!! You got really bad luck!”
“Oh Jesus.” Drew huffed an out of the nose laugh.
“Thanks for rolling! Come back tomorrow to come inside the school and meet all your new friends!”
“What? It’s kicking us out?” Danny gave an awkward look as the screen froze. He couldn’t do anything with clicking or moving it so he closed it out and tried to reopen. When reopening it failed to launch. He turned over to Drew who looked exhausted in his chair, Drew got up slowly to his feet.
“Drew, you okay?” Danny shot up incase Drew was about to slump over.
“Yeah man.. just, tired.”
“It’s like, 8pm.”
“Long day..” Drew turned around and slumped over Danny’s twin bed, curling in the sheets.
“Hey Drew! That’s my bed asshole!” Danny shook his body but Drew didn’t respond, he loudly snored, his body heating up and slumping over the sheets. Danny didn’t panic, he grabbed Drew’s wrist and felt his pulse, it was normal. Drew’s forehead was a little hotter than usual, maybe just a bad fever.
“Alright fine, I’ll take your bed, it’s bigger anyway.” Danny spoke out loud incase Drew could still hear him. He walked over to turn off the computer and the lights. He left the door open incase Drew woke up in the middle of the night. Before deciding he should write a note. He pulled a thing of post-its out from his drawer and wrote the following:
“You fell asleep on my bed and wouldn’t wake up, your phone is next to you.”
The words shrunk as he got further down on the post it note. With the “you” just barely fitting. He stuck it on Drew’s forehead and made his way to Drew’s room. It was much darker than he remembered but the mattress was much nicer. He rolled around in it, thankful for the room, while also feeling slightly uncomfortable sleeping in his crush’s bed. He’d remind himself he didn’t have a choice and couldn’t drag Drew across the house. His thoughts simmered down quick, his body draining.
—
Danny dragged himself out of the bed, walking down the hall. His bed was empty.
He looked around the hallway before calling out, “DREW!” Waiting a few moments, no response. He walked to the kitchen, no Drew. Walked to the bathroom, no Drew. He walked back to the bed, the post it laying perfectly on the pillow where Drew’s head would’ve been. He opened his phone to Drew’s contact.
Danny: Where are you?
Drew’s phone buzzed on the nightstand, it hadn’t moved.
“What the fuck..?”
“Player 1! It’s your turn!” Loud music erupted from the computer. It was open onto the dating simulator from last night.
“Drew! Is this some kinda sick joke!?” He looked around the room, could’ve sworn a second ago that computer was black. He walked over to press the off button, but it didn’t go black. He clicked it again and again, the pc stayed on.
The bouncy, upbeat music along with the same girl, Poppy, her nametag standing over the textbox, in front of the school png.
He looked around the room one last time, before continuing.