Work Text:
Louis.
Hey, Louis.
Louis du Lac.
Louis.
Lou.
Lou.
…
…
…
Yo, Thomas Pitt!
There’s a reason I’m not responding to you, Daniel. I’m pretending you don’t exist.
Yeah, you and half of vampiredom. Is that thing done?
It hasn’t even started.
Is Armand there yet?
… yeah.
Can you see him?
… yeah.
He looks good, huh? He’s a little insecure about it, but the eyepatch is so fucking hot. I fuck him about it at least twice a week. And that's on top of our usual nightly—
Goodbye, Daniel.
No! Wait! Louis! Can you ask him something for me?
(Sigh) …what?
Can you ask him if we've got any lube in this thing?
Fuck, Daniel! I’m not asking him that! Where are you anyway?
I’m on the jet. Armand said I couldn’t come. He won’t let me do anything ever since the apocalypse. He’s worried I’m gonna piss off the wrong vamp again, and someone will murk my ass.
I’ll murk your ass if you don’t leave me alone.
You will not a lay a finger on him, Louis, or I’ll take your other leg.
Oh, is that how we’re playing it? You wanna add a second eyepatch to your ensemble, Cap’n?
Wait, Louis, ask him about the lube!
No!
There is lubricant in the second drawer in the bathroom, Daniel. But I can’t imagine what you could possibly need it for. I told you, you’re not allowed to come.
Woah. Wait a minute. Why can I hear you right now?
Because Louis, as is his custom, cannot keep his mind closed. I can read everything you’re thinking through his thoughts.
Woah… our bond is so fucking awesome. Hey, can I fuck you about this later?
I’d expect nothing less, beloved.
I do not consent to this, for the record.
Babe, you said I wasn’t allowed to come to the AUCTION. You didn’t say I wasn’t allowed to come to this video I’ve got saved on your iPad…
Oh, for fuck’s sake.
What video is it?
The one we made last week in Bora Bora…
Oh… yes… (chuckles)… that is an excellent one.
You bet your perfect ass it is. Got me bricked up like a teenage boy watching Barbarella.
Daniel, the auction is due to begin any moment. This is a sombre occasion, and my expression must remain schooled. If you do not behave yourself, I won’t take you to Venice next week.
But ba-aabe! You said we could fuck in a gondola!
Then think very carefully about whether or not you go scavenging about for that lubricant. If you’re good, then the second I’m finished here, I will finish you.
You promise?
My darling, have you ever had a wish I didn't grant?
Yeah, yeah, okay, fine.
I love you, Daniel.
I love you, too, you fuckin’ asshole.
…
You know, now I kinda wish Akasha got me after all.