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Sanguine hues painted the sky above, casting a crimson glow on the land below. Distantly, the throes of battle echoed. The Queen of Hearts travelled alone through Savage Forest, dressed in a deep red and black, she carried herself with poise— Confidence.
The land she explored was once a place she called home, a place she so desperately tried to fit in— But those were detached memories of the past. It made her stomach twist to remember it, the raging fire that consumed her burning great as her mind ruminated on it.
They were fools to have underestimated her, to have used her. The Queen of Hearts relished in the way old classmates of hers stared in fright as she invaded the land, beside themselves on what they should do.
She was better, stronger. Her crimson soldiers marched on with ease, magic and weaponry at their disposal— It was laughably easy.
When she had told the Ace of Hearts that she was going to travel alone to find a vantage point, he dared to talk back. Impudent, she thought. People have been beheaded for less; and she scoffed at the idea that he thought he was any different.
The Queen was capable, powerful— She didn't need her troops to shadow her or make unnecessary noise that marked her position. So, she ventured along.
Through the darkness of the thick woods, even the creatures she once feared scurried away at the sight of her.
Might surged through her, even as she marched further from her land. The lingering residual magic of the land beneath her was enough, she had spent years harnessing her craft while the citizens of this world began to reject the system.
Moronic.
The Queen of Hearts didn't know how she never saw it sooner, enraged by the futility of her younger self. She was naive, submissive, a doormat. They beat her down until they broke her, took and took until there was nothing left to give. As she cut through the thick of the woods, she could only brood on the ways this land belittled her.
A lone crunch sent the Queen's head whipping in its direction; deck of cards tightly gripped in hand. Her brows gathered as she flung one card in the direction, sharp and precise.
“Halt! Show yourself!”
A hiss sounded, and the Queen of Hearts hardened her expression. Staring into the dense forest, she shuffled her cards as they rustled— Form much larger than a woodland creature making its way towards her.
When blue emerged from the greens, her breath hitched. For a moment, her look relaxed upon seeing her.
Ella.
A shallow cut lies on her cheekbone, red blood seeping down ebony skin.
Red was always beautiful on her.
Catching herself, the Queen of Hearts steeled her expression, coldly staring at the woman before her as she adjusted her posture, making herself look bigger. She looked down at the other, as if she was beneath her.
Ella stopped at the bushes edge, clad in blue and white. She wore her curly hair in braids now, fashioned into a bun. Sticks and leaves clung to the legs of her pants, and a pouch of supplies stayed strapped to her waistband.
She hadn't dared to move forward, and an air of tension built between the two. In the dark of the forest, away from the war that wrecked the land, it was them.
“Bridget…”
Breathless in her call, there was a sense of disbelief in her tone. She stared at the younger unabashedly, an indefinite look in her eyes.
Bridget could only return the view, hands unconsciously gripping her deck of cards. Her heart hammered in her chest, jaw clenching tightly at the whisper of her name.
It’d been years since she heard it, no one dared call her that after the passing of her mother.
She was the Queen of Hearts, Empress of Wonderland.
The girl known as Bridget of Hearts was no more.
But here, before the woman she once called her friend, she felt her convictions waver. Bridget steeled herself, a million thoughts racing in her mind. They all lead to one road, one person.
Her.
“And where are your troops?”
Despite her racing heart, the ache in her jaw as she clenched it impossibly hard— She spoke from the chest, her voice much deeper than years prior. She's matured. Changed.
“At the forest line. Reports of Red in the woods came in, and I needed to investigate.”
Ella was guarded, just like the other. She looked the Queen in her eye, meeting her height. The younger couldn't recount how long it'd been since someone dared look her in the eye, not even her mother would after she ‘changed’.
Many dark nights were spent fighting, shrill verbal fights that echoed throughout the castle walls. Her mother chastised her, begged to know what happened to her darling girl. She pretended to care—
That woman was fortunate that nature took her out before her own kin.
“State your purpose.”
She should kill her right here. That was her goal when invading the kingdom, to pilgrimage it and take it over— Get revenge on those who wronged her. Ella was the worst of them, Bridget knew.
But here, standing in front of a girl she once loved— Her heart ached.
She was weak.
“To see you…”
Ella had said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world, like she held no other purpose— trekking through the thick and dangerous woods, putting her life on the line to see someone she abandoned, Bridget could only scoff.
“We could end you right now,” A card slipped through her pointed fingers, a frivolous display of the power she held in such a tiny object. “It would be so easy.”
Ella didn't flinch, her gaze only softened— It was unreadable.
“You wouldn’t—”
“What do you know what we can and cannot do!” The Queen barked, that cold interior melting away under the flames of rage. She gestured wildly to the world around her, brows furrowing as she scrunched her nose in disdain. “We have led an army to this land, shed blood of those who inhabit it. You don't know me”
The empress hadn't dared show the anxiety that bubbled up in her, mixing with rage and sorrow, the Queen could only lash out in defense— Like a caged animal.
Hands instinctively shuffled through her deck of cards, an age-old habit to soothe her nerves. It didn't go unnoticed.
“Bridget.”
Despite the threats, the snarling and the biting gaze, Ella was gentle. She tentatively stepped forward, testing the waters, and when the other didn't move or draw a card, she took it as a sign.
“You were all I ever had; you were my friend—”
“Don’t lie to me!” The queen felt her throat tighten up, echoes of her past deafening as the woman at the forefront of them stood before her. “You had others, don't lie to me. I saw you that night, with Charming— I had no one—”
Her voice wavered, and the Queen could only scream at herself for being so weak.
Weak for her. Ella.
“You left me.”
Bridget tried to look down at Ella, steel her expression and furrow her brows. But her heart ached, and once more she felt like a lost teenager.
“I’m sorry,” Ella looked up at her, eyes wide in earnest. Her brows knit upwards, a mournful expression as she stared at the remnant of the girl she once loved. “I know sorry isn't enough— It never will be. I just…”
She trailed off, words lost in silence as she thought, contemplating her words carefully. Bridget held onto that last sentence, hope somehow blooming in the mess of emotions that ran through her.
“I think about you every day, Bee. I regret that night— I wish I'd stayed with you. I should've known better— I…I miss you.”
Words caught in her throat, the burn of it tightening making Bridget want to run away. It'd been so long since she cried, she thought she lost the possibility to do so after the death of her mother. She felt like a husk of herself.
Words sat at the tip of her tongue, threatening to spill at the parting of her lips. To bare her soul, to tell Ella how she still longed for her. After the betrayal, the realization that she was just as horrid as the rest— Bridget still yearned. How could she ever give up the first girl she loved?
The blue haired woman stepped forward once more, cautious steps that closed the distance between the two. Bridget didn't move, instead she only squeezed the deck of cards in her hands. Ella pushed, and for once Bridget didn't pull away.
Who else could get away with this, if not Ella?
“Everything reminds me of you. The stars, the sun, the sea…”
Bridget can't help the way her breath hitches, her heat beating in her cold husk of a body. She feels so warm, it's comforting. Even in the dark of the forest, Ella shines brightly, and Bridget can't help the way her mind fawns over the woman she once loved.
Still loves.
“When I kiss him, I think of you.”
The confession is whispered, as if there's anyone else in the woods to hear them. It’s a secret only she is privy too, and the Queen can't help but glow with pride.
Bridget doesn't respond, but Ella places her hand over Bridget's. It's dangerously close to her cards, subduing her weapon of choice. Bridget lets her.
The haunting thought of an attack is in the back of her mind, at this distance it would be so easy for Ella to pull a blade and gore her. She could end the war here, if she wanted.
But as the scenario plays out in her mind, every one ends with the Queen pushing herself further into the blade's hilt. To get closer to Ella and let the blood be proof that she is undoubtedly alive.
In the thick of the woodland, it was just them. Bridget and Ella, how it should have always been. The Queen had let her features soften, a piercing gaze turning to one of longing, eyes looking over the other's face. The cut on Ella's cheek had dried up, the red of blood dried on her dark skin. It was beautiful.
The Queen let one of her hands free from the grip she had on her cards and Ella's own. Painted fingers reached up and wiped at the dried blood with the pad of her fingers, the remains disappearing. Ella let out a shaky sigh, her head instinctively leaning into Bridget's touch. Bridget couldn't help the way she sucked in a sharp breath, eyes instinctively looking down at the others lips.
When she glanced back at Ella's eyes, she saw how the others' attention shifted from her face to her lips. An unvoiced question lingered in the air until finally, Ella broke the silence.
“Can I…?”
She needn't finish her question, for Bridget knew what she was asking for. They were playing a song and dance, and this was their crescendo. Bridget let herself nod and leaned forward to close the gap.
Lips meet once, then twice. The kiss is light, chaste and tentative. It had been years since she had felt the touch of another, and her heart skipped as they barely parted. Impossibly close, the warmth of the others breath washes over her face, and for a moment they stare.
It’s Ella who leans in next, kissing her with the softness Bridget was no longer accustomed to. There's an understanding in it, words left unsaid as she lets their lips glide.
That snarling voice screams at her in her mind, telling her how weak she is, how foolish she is to crawl back to Ella. And maybe it's right, maybe she is weak.
In front of Ella, she lets herself be.
Bridget tilts her head just so, deepening the kiss as ruby lips glide over mauve. Licking into her mouth sweetly, years of regret, love and fear are pushed into one.
“I love you.” is all she could muster.
So many lonely nights were spent crying over Ella, holes and broken items littered her room amid her breakdowns in her youth. She was past her outbursts, but every time she passed the mirror, she saw that broken girl staring back at her.
They pull away gently, nose brushing up against each other as they stand in silence. Bridget openly stares at Ella, faith shining in her eyes as she lets herself smile.
She feels foolish with the way she is hoping for something more, thumb gently stroking Ella's freckled cheek as she admires the woman in front of her. She's changed; they both have. Time has been nothing but fortunate for Ella, but even if it hadn't Bridget was sure she'd love her all the same.
Would Ella still love her, though?
“Come with me,” Bridget feels like she's ripping her heart out, presenting it to Ella on a silver platter. Long gone was the girl was the girl who wore her heart on her sleeve, but for Ella… She couldn't help herself. “We can be together; I can give you everything you want.”
It’s a promise, and Bridget means every word. Wistful words of her youth said under the blankets of her bed echoed years later, and Bridget could never have been more sincere.
Yet. Ella was silent.
“Leave this dastardly place, these horrible people behind— Ella. Return home with me.”
Bridget had always dreamed of returning to Wonderland with Ella in tow, letting the other call this place she ruled home too. A diary at the bottom of the moat held plans for Ella, where she would live, what Bridget would build for her— It was thoroughly considered, and Bridget felt like a lovesick teen again.
“I…”
The queen hung onto every word, hand moving to hold Ellas. Bridget had long burned her bridges, watching them go down in a fiery blaze. But for once she hoped that in the wreckage of her life, Ella would swim back to her despite it all.
Ella looked away from Bridget for the first time, and the other felt bile rising.
“I can’t…”
It was like she was sixteen again.
Curled up on the dance floor as her body writhed, and even as her bones broke to make way for her new form, it could never compare to the heartbreak she felt seeing Ella dancing with him.
“You can—” Desperate, Bridget pled. Her convictions were thrown out the window, she knew she'd be okay if Ella went with her. “I’ll give you everything you want, I’ll end this war— Just… Just stay with me…”
It was pathetic, Bridget knew this. But for once she wanted to be chosen.
“I have a family here, Bridget.” Ella only shook her head, tears welling up in her eyes as she desperately tried to blink them away. “I… I can't leave them.”
Bridget scoffed, brows wrinkling as she looked down at her past lover. Her stomach tightened as her hands squeezed down on her cards.
“What does he have that I don't?"
Her words were laced with venom, disdain for the man who stole her lover ever present. As long as he existed, she will always be Ella's second choice.
“Do I mean nothing to you?”
That adolescent anxiety of not being enough bubbled up inside her. Despite her attempts, no one wanted to be friends with her. Ella was her one and only, and even then, she was nothing more than another option.
“Bridget—”
“So why— Why can't you choose me?!”
The Queen snatched her hand away so fast that Ella staggered back, her free hands immediately going to shuffle her deck. She glared at Ella with furrowed brows, eyes reflecting nothing but the hurt she felt.
Ella looked back at her with nothing but sorrow, if Bridget acknowledged the pity in her eyes she might have lost it. She didn't need her pity, her love—
She tried to convince herself it was so, yet her heart felt like it only truly beat for Ella.
“I’m so sorry. I… I can't abandon my family.”
It was funny, Bridget thought. The woman before her spoke of her family grounding her to this disgusting land, as if she hadn't just kissed her. It did nothing but confirm Ella was rotten.
Her voice was raw, a waver to it as her head slightly shook. The urge to lash out was strong, cards dangerously shuffling between practiced fingers— But as the thought of hurting Ella crossed her mind, her heart ached.
“Leave.”
She was pathetic in the way she couldn't turn and leave herself, even at the rejection, the fear of turning her back on Ella was greater than the despondency she felt.
“Bridget, I love you—”
“Leave!”
The Queen screamed, her throat hoarse and voice wavering pathetically as a distant wetness rolled down her cheek. She was pitiful, still shedding tears over her.
Having Ella watch her miserable display made her want to curl in on herself, let Ella approach and help her through it like she did so many times before. But she couldn't let herself be weak.
Not anymore.
Bridget puffed her chest, making herself appear taller as dark eyes looked down at the other. She steeled her gaze, yet treacherous tears still fell.
Ella could only watch Bridget with an air of commiseration, tears rolling down full cheeks. An unspoken battle sung throughout the silence, words on the tip of their tongues left unsaid as she took one final glance at the broken heart standing tall.
“I hope I get to see you again, Bridget…”
She wanted to crawl back into her arms, hold her close and feel the taste of her gloss against her lips. Her heart yearned for the warmth of companionship, but she knew it’d never come. She will always be her second choice, a secret.
She'd always been.
“And I hope you think about me as much as I think about you.”
Dying would be a mercy compared to the words Ella spoke, it was honest and Bridget hated the way she could tell. It made her sick to her stomach; cards anxiously being fiddled as she needed something to distract her Indignation she felt.
Ella waited with bated breath for a reply, but nothing came. The Queen only lifted her head and looked down at the other like she was below her, trying to push down the fact that if Ella came back to her, she would surrender.
The other turned, hesitance in her step as she began to retreat into the dense forest, from where she came. It was foolish to turn her back on an enemy, it would be so easy for the Queen to end her unguarded— But Ella knew, or hoped, that Bridget was better than that.
Blue disappeared into the green foliage, rustling of leaves getting quieter and quieter, and her heart sank knowing this was the last time.
Ella had made her decision, and now the Queen of Hearts had to live with it.