Work Text:
Seok Matthew was at the library again. Awake this time.
He was never attentive in lectures, but he listened closely as Kim Jiwoong talked. Like nothing else in the world mattered.
A delicate palm cupped his chin. A serene smile graced his lips.
Kim Taerae was staring at him again. Quite openly this time.
Curious eyes flicked over to him as sudden as a lightning strike.
He was never as subtle as he believed himself to be, always assuming Matthew remained ignorant to the gaze tracking his every motion like a leopard in the wild.
Taerae ignored the stuttering in his chest and returned to depositing books to their respective rows.
He could feel that gaze on him now.
His skin prickled. With what, he could only name as restlessness; anticipation.
A breathy laugh shattered Matthew's thoughts.
"At which point did I lose you?"
"Somewhere between Professor Lee's critique of your paper and Zhang Hao fighting him in class." Matthew smiled apologetically. "I'll be back, hyung."
There was a version of Taerae that was unafraid, a version that didn't cower behind brick red book spines at the first sound of soft footfalls approaching.
A version that didn't make himself smaller.
There was a version of Matthew that was brave and unapologetic, a version that wouldn't stop inches away and reach for a book he pretended to need.
A version that didn't retreat to his table, slide into his seat and hang his head in shame.
He beat himself up for the disappointment devouring him. Had he really expected Seok Matthew of all people to strike up a conversation with him? The only things they had in common were a shared lecture and the communal bathroom on their floor.
Taerae returned to his work, not sparing a further glance.
Matthew watched the back melt between the shelves and disappear out of sight.
"Is this seat taken?"
Taerae jumped to alertness. Seok Matthew stood beside his desk at the library, interrupting a daily ritual of pouring over notes and essays scribbled in burgundy ink. A quick peek at the room showed countless empty desks.
"No."
Matthew sat across from the man he'd been watching for months. The man who had been watching him in return.
His attention was returned to the papers splayed out on the desk. Long fingers absently twirled a strand of hair. Teeth gnawed on pink lips. Eyes flickered up to meet his before quickly turning away.
It would be too easy, to part his lips and spill the words he'd locked up.
Let's grab a coffee.
What are you doing here?
Have you had a break yet?
Where are your friends?
Why do you stare?
Why are you staring?
Is it for the same reasons I do?
The silence between them was suffocating. Stifling. Heat clawed up Taerae's neck. He shuddered a breath.
Chancing yet another glance, he was greeted by eyes filled with stars, raking over him unabashedly.
"Sorry, did you need something?"
Matthew smiled.
The stars dimmed ever so slightly.
"Just looking for some quiet company."
"Okay." Taerae nodded slowly. "I see."
The words on the pages swam in his vision and nothing made sense anymore. Matthew stretched across the desk, arms curling under his head in a cushion. Lids fluttered closed. Brows wrinkled.
Did he always come to the library just to sleep?
Taerae tried to let him be. To rest. To use the seconds of tranquility between them formulating a plan to leave quietly.
Matthew squeezed his eyes open. Kim Taerae was studying him still.
Or he could be brave.
"If… you haven't had anything to eat yet, would you want to? With me?"
"Yes, okay." Matthew nodded. He rose slowly. "I would love to."
This time, entire galaxies shone when he smiled.
The library was no longer his quiet reprieve.
He and Seok Matthew were friends. Or something more. Certainly not something less. His world had completely tilted on its axis.
Matthew broke his habit of dozing off in the library.
There were moments now he simply couldn't miss. Moments he wanted to bottle up and bury in the pockets of his heart. A shy tilt of a mouth. A hitched breath. The prettiest dimples.
"You could be helping me put these away, you know."
The shelf — or as Matthew saw it, his upgraded vantage point — shuddered with the force of his weight pressed against it.
"I could. But I also just enjoy seeing you work."
You enjoy distracting me, you mean.
Taerae clamped his mouth shut and shook his head, deeming words unnecessary.
A shy tilt of a mouth.
Taerae continued to bury books back in their rightful place. Seconds that always flew by when he worked now dragged like a slow inhalation. It felt like an entire hour had passed before fingers pressed the spine of the last book in his trolley.
The distance between them had diminished. Whether by chance or design, he wasn't sure. Matthew's hands lingered near his.
He was much more overwhelming up close.
A hitched breath.
There was a version of Taerae, this version, who was unafraid of closing his fingers around Matthew's wrist and pulling him closer. To be the one to invite him in and share his space and make it into something new.
Matthew wondered how cliché it would be to say how much he wanted to kiss him.
"Can I kiss you? I really want to."
He supposed he didn't really care.
"Yes." Taerae nodded. He could not think of anything he wanted more. "Please."
Finally. There. The prettiest dimples.
The first brush of lips was a soft question. The second was a quiet promise.
Eager hands reached for his waist and tugged him closer.
The third and fourth and fifth kisses…
Matthew's eyelids fluttered open slowly.
Taerae brushed the tip of his nose with his. He was much lovelier up close.
He wondered if it was too early for him to say how much he wanted to keep doing this forever.