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The boys’ bathroom smelled like piss, cheap Axe body spray, horribly clogged sinks, and the faint burnt-plastic tang of someone hotboxing a blunt in the far left stall 20-something minutes ago. Yoochun was sitting on the sink counter kicking his scuffed black Chucks against exactly nothing. Yunho leaned against the wall like he was personally betraying the entire student council by existing in that room.
“I’m gonna get written up,” Yunho muttered, checking his watch for the nth time. “This is the first time I’ve ever skipped. Ever, dude. They're going to hate me.”
Yoochun hummed. “Congrats on losing your skipping virginity at the big age of 18. Good showing,” Completely ignoring the others' panicked state.
The door banged open. Jaejoong walked in first, wearing a ridiculously low-cut black tee that showed way too much collarbone for a school setting. Changmin followed, sport bag slung over one shoulder, already unwrapping a stolen granola bar.
“Yo,” Changmin said, nodding at them as if this was a scheduled meeting. “Didn’t know the bathroom was hosting a support group today.”
Jaejoong hopped up on the sink next to Yoochun. “Mr. Ellis cornered me after third period asking where you were, Chunnie. The guy said he’s ‘worried about your home situation’ and wants you to come to his office after school so you guys can ‘talk.’ I swear he's is obsessed with you. This is the third time this week.”
Yoochun’s expression didn’t change much, slightly raising an eyebrow. “He’s always on my ass.”
“Yeah, no shit,” Changmin said through a mouthful of granola. “He wants to get in your ass--that dude’s a fucking pedophile.”
Jaejoong’s head snapped toward him so fast his rock-solid fringe moved half an inch. “You can't just say that! How can a teacher be a pedophile? That’s… that’s not allowed.”
Changmin stared at him like he’d just asked if the sun comes up during the daytime. “Bro. You’ve never been hit on by a teacher before?”
"..."
Jaejoong blinked. “Well… no?????”
Changmin gestured at him vaguely with the half-eaten granola bar. “Look at you, man. Skin-tight girl jeans, tits hanging out and about, hair way too long for your gender. Of course teachers hit on you. Half the staff probably thinks you’re some confused transsexual sophomore girl who’s really good at makeup.”
Jaejoong looked down at his own chest like it had personally betrayed him. “They’re not tits, they’re just… low-cut! It’s fashion!” He said, covering his chest with his hands.
Yunho was in the meanwhile already spiralling. He slid down the wall until he was squatting, hands in his hair. “Holy shit- A teacher- A grown man..! We have to tell someone. We have to--Chun, you can’t go near him. I’ll write a report. I’ll- This is so bad!”
“You need to calm way down,” Yoochun muttered annoyed, but still he looked genuinely confused. “How does any of this mean he’s into me? He just says he wants to help. Like… mentor shit. I slashed my mom’s tires, remember? I’m a danger.”
Changmin grinned before talking with a mouth full unchewed granola. “Yeah, a danger to his teaching licence.”
“Changmin!” Yunho yelped.
Jaejoong, whose mind may be a tad bit slower than the average persons, was still stuck on the earlier part. “Wait, teachers hit on people? Like for real? I thought that was just, like, bad Lifetime movies.”
“You’re actually retarded,” said Changmin.
Yoochun pulled his hood lower. “I still don’t get it. He’s like forty. He wears sweater vests.”
“That’s the uniform, dude,” Changmin said, shrugging. “Pedo standard issue.”
Yunho looked two seconds from actually crying as he stood up and gripped onto Yoochun's shoulders. “We need to do something. This is serious. Chun, you’re not going to his office. I’ll tell the principal myself-”
The bathroom door opened again.
Junsu poked his head in, looking way too pleased with himself. “Missed you guys in English. Also, I made the theatre sub cry during improv.”
Nobody had the energy nor cared enough to respond.
“What’d I miss?”
“Mr. Ellis is a pedo,” Changmin supplied.
“Ah.” Junsu nodded sagely. “Makes sense. He always stares at Jae’s ass during announcements.”