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Class was as boring as always. The only saving grace was catching glimpses of Hirose from afar or hearing his voice. Nakamura had finished his lunch so he slumped onto his desk and buried his face in his arms. Students were chatting and playing around, and he could hear the rustle and bustle of people playing on the fields outside.
“Cake?”
Hirose’s voice tickled Nakamura’s ears from his seat, so he looked up from his desk to the group of friends muttering a few desks in front of him.
“Mhm.” Takeuchi grinned, “What better to give someone than a sweet, chocolate cake with strawberries on top. Hah, I hope I get one.”
“This isn’t Valentines, you know?” Mukai said, “Sensei said that since we learned to bake in home ec class, we should bake something at home cause we’re gonna exchange baked goods with classmates tomorrow.”
Nakamura recalled the announcement. The school was having an event. After home economics class taught them how to bake sweets with an oven, Sensei suggested that the school encourage the students to bake at home and bring something for their friends. So there was a PA announcement right at the start of lunch break telling students they could bake and share things with their friends tomorrow, or maybe even a special someone, though that last part felt more like a tease or a joke.
“Mmm,” Hirose crossed his arms, they were so smooth and supple looking even from Nakamura’s seat. “It’d be tough to bake a cake for a lot of people wouldn’t it? Cookies would be better.”
Nakamura more or less agreed with that. It felt like a pain to do. Bake for friends? That seems…
Wait. Nakamura furrowed his brow. Weren’t he and Hirose friends now? Does that mean he could share something with Hirose? The image bloomed in his mind, the two of them sitting outside on the benches during lunch break sharing a slice of cake that Nakamura made for him. Maybe Hirose would even lean in with his eyes closed while Nakamura fed him a slice of cake.
“That’s completely not the point!” Takeuchi whined, “It’s nicer to get something you like isn’t it? If Yuuka gave me a chocolate cake I’d be ready to die.”
“Still sounds like a pain to me.” Hirose shrugged. “I don’t even like chocolate cake.”
“Eh?” Takeuchi said, “Who doesn’t like chocolate?”
“I like chocolate. I just prefer strawberry flavored cakes. The tartness and fluffiness of the cake tastes better with strawberry.”
Strawberry flavor. Tart and fluffy cake. Nakamura made a mental note. He could go buy fresh strawberries later. Anything for Hirose. Maybe he could ask Kana to help him make it pretty too. Yes. This was a good plan. Nakamura tapped his feet under his desk, giggling to himself.
“What about you, Nakamura?”
Hirose’s question yanked Nakamura straight back to reality. “H-huh? What?” His cheeks were hot, but he tried his best to contain himself.
“What kind of cake do you like?” Hirose smiled, his eyes shining with that soft twinkle Nakamura always loved.
“C-Crepe Cake.” Nakamura blurted out.
“Hm?” Hirose tilted his head, “Why’s that?”
“I think the texture is nice. The layers make the texture nice and firm but also soft, the cream layers in between are nice and fluffy, and it’s good no matter what flavor you make.” Nakamura instantly regretted saying so much, he could’ve just said it tasted nice.
“Nakamura’s got a fancy palate doesn’t he?” Takeuchi said.
“He does, what the heck?! That’d take the whole day to make!” Hirose chuckled, “Sounds awesome, I like strawberry shortcakes myself. Just a short n’ sweet slice of cake.”
Short n’ sweet huh? Nakamura could do that.
***
Alright. He washed his hands. He had his apron on. He bought the ingredients at the store, and had everything. Flour? Sugar? Butter? Buttload of strawberries? All ready and waiting on the kitchen counter.
It was just… the cooking process was a lot more confusing than he thought.
Nakamura squinted over his phone on the counter, “Step one. Preheat the oven to 220 degrees celsius.”
Preheat? 220 degrees? He turned towards the oven. It was different from the one in class. What did it mean? The buttons and dials didn’t make sense anymore, it looked like a gundam dashboard to him. He ended up pestering Kana to help him, and she grumbled and tossed her phone on the couch to help.
She demonstrated it. “Push the dial in before you turn it. Idiot.” She said before stomping off to the living room. For all her grouchiness, she was still really helpful.
Okay, that was step one. Nakamura scrolled down the recipe. The next few steps were a little easier. Melt butter, mix it with flour and eggs. That part was easy. But layering and shaping the sponge cake was harder. He ended up ruining the cuts of sponge over and over again.
His trays of sponge cake were running thin. The table was a scattered mess of misshapen cake slices and crumbs.
“I-I only have a few left… What do I do?”
He didn’t want to have to bake another batch, he didn’t have enough ingredients for that.
No matter what he did, it didn’t turn out right. Maybe he wasn’t cut out for this after all. He was never that good of a baker, he didn’t even know his way around the knife either. What if he screwed up? If he gave something like that to Hirose, surely he’d be disgusted. Nakamura swallowed. He was being an idiot.
But the way Hirose smiled yesterday, that smile that showed the soft roundness of his cheeks, he seemed really happy. He must really like strawberry cakes or something.Nakamura took a deep breath. He’d do anything to see that smile again, even baking something like this. He just has to try again, more gently this time, slowly.
Do it for Hirose, he kept telling himself.
***
Nakamura’s heart pounded against his ears. The lunch bell rang a few minutes ago, and everyone scurried across the classroom, sharing breads, cakes, and all kinds of desserts with their friends. He peeked inside his bag, and the cake was still there, snugly tucked into a fancy lunchbox with a transparent lid. The spiral of strawberries at the top took him hours to decorate.
His stomach twisted into knots and his throat tightened up. Now that he was so close to the goal his hands were shaking, full of sweat. All that was left was to give it to Hirose, but he was nowhere to be seen.
Around the room, Yuuka munched on cookies with Kawamura who kept fidgeting and tugging at the collar of her uniform. When her eyes met his, she flinched in place, almost like a hiccup.
Yuuka nudged her, and Kawamura gasped and grumbled quietly. They kept whispering and bickering at each other before Yuuka snatched a cute pouch from Kawamura’s desk and shoved it into her hands.
Kawamura’s face was pink, hobbling over towards his desk with the pouch cupped in both her hands. “Uhm, Nakamura?”
“Oh?” Nakamura sat up straighter, he wasn’t expecting this. “What’s up?”
“Here.” She nestled the pouch on his desk, which he discovered was an assortment of chocolate cookies swirled with vanilla icing on top. Some of them were decorated with hearts, others with stars, and there were a few with familiar drawings
Nakamura blinked. “Wait, is that Makunouchi and Taku?”
“I thought since you liked the series too it’d be nice…”
Nakamura smiled and held the pouch up, admiring the textures and colors. She must have spent the whole evening making cookies for everyone. “You really are amazing, Kawamura! Thanks!”
“It’s nothing!” The light flashed across Kawamura’s glasses. “I had a lot of extras so I hope you enjoy them.” She bolted back to her desk and Nakamura cradled the pouch in his hands.
The cookies were so well-made it almost felt like a shame to eat them, and he didn't want to eat yet anyway. He wanted to save his stomach for the cake with Hirose.
Hirose…
He looked around again. Hirose wasn’t anywhere to be found so Nakamura got up and started looking around the school. The cafeteria was packed full of students fighting for the nice melon bread packs, the rooftop was closed off, and the benches around the school premises were either empty or filled with couples, but no Hirose.
“Where’d he go?” Nakamura grumbled to himself the whole time, dragging his soles against the hallway floors.
It was a complete fail. He returned to the classroom, surrounded by the cheer and chatter of classmates sharing sweets and small talk. Takeuchi and Mukai were sitting by Hirose’s empty desk, so Nakamura steeled himself and walked up to them. “Uhm, hello.”
Takeuchi blinked and looked up, “Oh, Nakamura. Hey look at this.” He pulled out a small round container of cookies, smiling ear to ear.“Yuuka-san gave out sweets and they tasted awesome. Want one?”
Guess Takeuchi got what he asked for. Nakamura cleared his throat, “I’m fine. Did Hirose come to class today?”
“Hirose?” Takeuchi tossed a cookie into his mouth, “Mmm, saw him at the shoe lockers earlier this morning. Yeah, come to think of it, where’d he go? He definitely came in.”
Mukai shrugged, “He went to the bathroom during first period and haven’t seen him since.”
That was odd. Did Hirose cut class? He didn’t even know if Hirose would do something like that.
“Oh, alright. Thanks anyway.” Nakamura nodded and slumped back into his chair.
The smell of vanillas, fruits, and fresh pastries wafted in the air. It made his stomach rumble and his mouth water, he was so hungry. No. He wanted to save his stomach and share food with Hirose. He buried his face in his arms, snapping his eyes shut and trying to focus on the idea of it all. Sitting with Hirose, spoonfeeding him a bit of cake, maybe wiping frosting off his cheek.
Where is he?
***
Nakamura fixed his gaze on the classroom entrance in case Hirose finally showed up. But he didn’t.
As soon as the bell rang, Nakamura grabbed his bag and dashed out of the classroom. If there was even a one-percent chance that Hirose was still on school grounds, he had to catch him before the guy vanished for the day.
Again, Nakamura went straight for the cafeteria, nothing but a sweaty crowd lined up. The benches? Still empty or filled with people eating together, and it made him a little jealous. He wasn’t around any of the hallways or the classrooms either. What did that leave?
“Ah! You!”
That voice sparked Nakamura’s fight-or-flight response. He whipped his head back only to see Aokiyama’s blue hair whipping in the air. She charged straight at him like one of those freaky horror villains. Not today. Definitely not today. Nakamura ran off.
“Hey, stop!” Aokiyama shifted gears, going into overdrive.
Nakamura yelped. He literally felt the vibrations of her shoes closing the distance. Nakamura locked in and dashed for dear life. He swerved left, back into the crowded cafeteria, and camouflaged himself in the sweaty crowd of people lined up. It stinked!
Aokiyama skidded into the room, scouring for his target like a homing missile. She peeked over people’s shoulders, shoved past the sides, and muttered hurried words of “excuse me” and “coming through”. Nakamura took the chance and slipped out quietly.
Safe. Back to looking for Hirose. Nakamura took a deep breath, forcing his remaining brain cells to fire neurons and give him an idea. He needed a lead, but who else would know? The ultimate lead. Who was it?
“Ah!” Nakamura smacked his fist against his palm, “Oomori!” If anyone knew of Hirose’s whereabouts it’d be him. Those two always walked home together!
Nakamura stopped by the drama club, hoping to spot Oomori, but the clubroom was dark and empty. Instead, looming in a dimly lit corner, a beret crept out of the darkness, then a silhouette. Nakamura squinted and saw Tamura’s wide-grin, an overenthusiastic glint in his eyes.
“Nakamura! You got a sec?”
Nakamura’s alarm bells rang. He recognized that look. That was the face Tamura made when he was planning to trap someone into filming some ridiculous shoot that would take hours into the night.
Nakamura started backing away, “A-actually, I was just wondering if Oomori was here.”
“Oomori? Hang on, I promise this’ll only be a sec.” Tamura slipped a hand into his bag on the clubroom’s shelf. Nakamura already knew where the whole thing was going. He was gonna pull out his camera, and pretty soon it’d be too late to slip out of the whole thing.
“S-something came up, bye!” Nakamura turned and paced away before Tamura could even respond. Or so he thought.
“Ah, Nakamura wait!” Tamura had jogged out of the room, hot on his trail
No! Not today, please!
Nakamura accelerated, pretending not to hear him. But then he heard Tamura’s steps breaking into a sprint. He yelped, and started running for it. Both of them, practically dashing out of the corridor, like a rabbit trying to outrun a fox.
Nakamura whipped around the corner to shake him off, but there, at the other end of the corridor, Aokiyama locked eyes with him. “Nakamura! Freeze, I gotta talk to you!”
Nakamura shrieked. What was his luck today? “Sorry!” he screamed to no one in particular.
He dove for the stairwell, flying down the first flight in tiny staccato steps, the sound of the two behind him, their shoes tapping onto the steps in an accelerating tempo, gaining on him.
Faster. Must go faster. Go for it, Nakamura!
After the first landing, Nakamura took a risk, hopping two steps at a time. His legs wobbled like jelly with each step, but it gave him serious distance. Once he reached the second landing between the first and second floor he picked up his pace even more.
Just a little-
Snap. A sharp pain shot up his ankle. It twisted and his body heaved from the pain, sending him tumbling down the stairs. Nakamura crashed into the first floor grounds with a loud thud, demanding the attention of the entire hallway. The two pursuers gasped his name and hovered over his crumpled form.
“You okay?” Tamura asked, afraid to touch him.
“M-mhm.” Nakamura’s voice was muffled by the tiles.
Somehow, there wasn't as much pain as he thought there’d be. Just a soreness on his knees and ankle because his bag cushioned his fall. His bag. Nakamura sprung up and peaked into his bag, the cake was pulverized, cream and strawberry oozed out the sides of the lid. It was over.
Nakamura’s shoulders slumped, slowly, he closed the bag, and nodded. “Yeah, I'm fine. Totally… fine.” Everyone was staring at him. It was so embarrassing and stupid. All that effort, all that running, and he ruined his chances because of his impatience.
Oomori jogged up to them from the shoe lockers,“Nakamura, you alright? That was a loud fall.”
“Oomori.” He mumbled.
“Yeah, you okay?.” Oomori said
“I-I’m okay.” A lie. He wasn’t okay at all. “Actually, have you seen Hirose?”
“Hirose? Yeah, Otogiri-sensei called him during lunch hours, that’s probably why you didn’t see him after this morning.”
Nakamura’s heart sank. “Oh. Right.”
Of course. Hirose probably baked something for sensei. Why wouldn’t he? Sensei was reliable and cool. Nakamura stared pathetically at his lap, he should’ve known. He shouldn’t have been an idiot and assume things would've gone like this stupid Lovable Lunches delusions. They never did. Sure, he and Hirose were friends now but that didn’t mean anything. They weren't even close. They didn’t walk home together. They don’t hang out during lunch or anything like that.
But at the very least. He just thought something like that stupid cake could've led to something more. Just a little more closeness or something. Just a little bit. He felt so stupid he wanted to run off home, but his foot was aching so much all he could do was stand there.
“Hey, Nakamura, are you sure you’re alright? You don’t look so good, the nurse’s office is right there.” Aokiyama tilted her head.
He gave a stiff nod. What was the point of all this?
“Anyway,” Aokiyama stammered from the awkward tension, “I was calling you over, because I wanted to give you this. You ran away so fast I couldn't even explain properly…” Aokiyama took out a small container of homemade biscuits from her pocket and placed it in his hand. Ghosts drawn with icing adorned the top of it.
“Oh, right,” Tamura fished into his pocket, “I was gonna give this too.” He stacked what seemed to be a chocolate cookie bar on top of Aokiyama’s container. “Why were you running anyway? Acting like we were gonna eat you or something.”
“Well,” Oomori laughed awkwardly, “I imagine it has to do with the weird things you make people do all the time.”
The two grumbled but they didn’t deny it. Nakamura stared at the things in his hand. Both desserts looked delicious to say the least. He could even smell the chocolate, it made his mouth water. “Why are you giving this? And why me?”
“We’re friends! What other reason do I need? The occult club’s gotten a lot of use out of your negative energy, think of it as compensation!” Aokiyama nodded to herself.
“And I hadn’t thanked you properly for the play yet, so I thought why not?” Tamura said. “You really helped us out then.”
“Oh. Thanks.”
Nakamura stared at his unexpected pile. His heart felt just a touch lighter after everything. Maybe it wasn’t a total bust, these things. He only wished he had something to give them in return.
***
Nakamura walked home feeling a little listless, and it felt even longer than usual. Maybe it was too much to think he’d be able to share a cute moment with Hirose, but at least he got some stuff from people. Maybe he can just share everything with his family or put them in the fridge.
It was cold. Spring air blew across his face and tickled his nose. The sun was setting, the sky a bleeding canvas of pinks and oranges. At the very least, he wished he could’ve said good morning to Hirose today. Nakamura rounded the final corner of the street to his home.
Nakamura froze. His boots clicked to a halt on the pavement.
A silhouette stood right outside the entrance to his home, wispy brown hair tusseling slightly with the sunset air. “Yo, Nakamura.”
Nakamura’s breath caught on his throat, “Hirose?”
Hirose stepped forward. He held up a square bento wrapped in a red and white checkered cloth, a shy smile tugging at his lips. “Do you have time?”
Hirose led him around the neighborhood. They walked in silence towards the small playground by the neighborhood and sat by the swings, laying the bento in his hand on his lap. Nakamura sat on the swing next to him.
“To tell you the truth,” Hirose stared at the empty sandbox, swinging just a little bit with his toes. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you since earlier. But it was a lot more of a pain than I thought. If only there was a table around here.” Hirose whined playfully.
Nakamura blinked. His heart was going a mile a minute, his face burning. “What do you mean?”
Hirose grinned, and unravelled the cloth. Nakamura’s eyes stayed on Hirose’s delicate fingers, watching as he laid the cloth flat one corner at a time and took the lid off the container. “Look.” he said, holding it out to Nakamura.
It was a cake. Beautiful, light pink, paper thin crepes sandwiching layers of pale whipped cream and thin slices of strawberries. There must have been at least twelve layers to it. It was decently tall, and although it was a little lopsided, it still looked amazing.
“A crepe cake!” Nakamura gasped, “Where did you get this?!”
A light flush of pink painted Hirose’s cheeks, “I made it.”
“What?!” Nakamura stared at the cake, then at him, then at the cake again. Hirose made this? Sure it didn’t look like it belonged on a fancy restaurant’s display shelf, but it still looked ridiculously well-made.
“Don’t sound so surprised. Makes it sound like you thought I was a bad cook.” Hirose pouted and grabbed a fork from his breast pocket. It was wrapped in a napkin, so he unravelled it and forked a small portion, holding it out to Nakamura’s mouth. “Here, open up.”
What?!
Nakamura stared dumbfounded, the fork was right in front of his mouth. Was he dreaming? Did he die? Was this heaven?
“Come on, open up.” Hirose insisted.
Nakamura leaned forward and put the fork in his mouth. An array of delicate textures landed in his mouth. Soft cream, the layers of crepe, the slices of strawberry, melding together into probably the best thing he’d ever eaten in his life.
“How’s it taste?”
Nakamura couldn’t suppress smiling coyly, “I-it’s so good. I can’t believe you made this.”
“Hm? Is it?” Hirose took another slice. Nakamura watched with wide eyes as Hirose forked another piece of cake, parted those soft lips of his, and ate the cake straight off the fork.
Nakamura felt his heart explode. He didn’t know how he was still alive. Wasn’t that an indirect kiss? It was, wasn’t it? Doesn’t that mean, technically, he’s kissed Hirose?!
“Woah,” Hirose beamed at him, “You really do have great taste in desserts, Nakamura. This is amazing!” Hirose went in for another bite, swinging his legs back and forth.
Thank you, God. Nakamura felt like he wanted to cry or throw up, Hirose was so cute. He couldn’t take it!
“Hirose,” Nakamura gulped, “why, why did you make this?”
Hirose paused, fork still in his mouth. His expression softened, and he looked away, his cheeks a little red. “Secret.” He mumbled, voice muffled by the fork.
Nakamura was definitely gonna die. He couldn’t take much more of this, paralyzed by the implications. A secret? What does he mean, a secret?
“I’m just kidding.” Hirose laughed, “Truth is, I actually really like baking sometimes. I used to help my mom a lot as a kid, it’s a lot of fun. Takeuchi and the others, they’re kinda weird about this stuff. They don’t really get it, so it’s a pain to talk to them about it. The announcement yesterday got me really excited. I actually wanted to talk about making stuff but Takeuchi just kept thinking about girls and wondering what kind of sweets he was gonna get. He wouldn’t be able to appreciate what I give him, you know?”
It clicked in Nakamura’s head, “Then, you mean?”
“Yeah, I thought I might as well make one for you.” Hirose grinned, “But man, a crepe cake! You got any idea how hard this is to make? The cake was so ugly I hid myself during lunch. It was embarrassing! Sensei saw me hiding out in the home ec room and decided to help me fix it up.”
“You did all this for me?” Nakamura’s voice was pinched by the tightness in his throat. His face felt hot. He hoped Hirose couldn’t tell.
“Yeah, I mean you like this stuff right?” Hirose stammered, holding his own wrist and rubbing the cuff of his uniform. “Was I wrong?”
“No!” Nakamura was quick to correct him, he grabbed Hirose’s wrist before he could even think. “I-I… I really like it. Thank you, Hirose.”
Hirose looked away, Nakamura couldn’t tell for sure, but it felt like Hirose’s pulse was going really fast against his hand. “Well,” Hirose said, “We are friends after all. No biggie, I wanted to do it.”
Nakamura smiled to himself. He was worried for nothing.
“It’s a little different than with Takeuchi or Oomori or whatever. In a good way, of course.” Hirose laughed, nervously.
“Thanks.” Nakamura let go of his wrist.
“You already said that.” Hirose grumbled, looking at his own wrist, rubbing it again like it was sore. “Giving gifts is nice, it makes people smile and all. And it makes me happy too, knowing I made them happy.”
“Me too. I like it when something I do makes someone happy.” Like you, Nakamura thought.
Hirose chuckled, and gave the container to Nakamura. “Here, you can have the rest of it already. Man, I wonder if anyone wanted to give me something today… probably missed out on a whole lot of sweets.”
Right. His thing. Nakamura peeked into his bag, the strawberry shortcake was still there, still crushed, but it was technically edible, was it a good idea to give it though? He didn’t know. He looked at Hirose again, he was pouting a little, swinging back and forth.
“Hirose, about that…” Nakamura swallowed. When Hirose looked his way, he took a deep breath, put the crepe cake on his lap and pulled his own container out of his bag. The whole thing was flattened, and the cake inside even more so, crumbs and cream, oozing out of every seam. “This is, or was, for you.”
Hirose looked at the container in his hand, and blinked. Then, he burst out into laughter. “What is that?” He held his middle with his arms, “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to laugh. It just looks so crushed.”
“I kinda tripped and landed on my bag.”
“Oh, well,” Hirose took the container from him, “at least you weren’t hurt. Right?”
“Mm.” Nakamura swallowed. Hirose was so caring, so cute. A literal angel.
Hirose took the fork and scraped some of the smashed pieces into a small portion. He put it in his mouth and smiled, “See? I was right to give it to you. You know what it’s like to make something delicious for someone else.”
“You like it?”
“Sure do.” Hirose beamed, and swung back and forth again, gently.
They ate for a while in silence. The sound of the trees rustling, and the swings creaking with each back and forth, filled the silence between them. But it didn’t feel tense. It felt right. It felt like time could stop right at that instant, and Nakamura would be content.
Nakamura finished his first. Hirose was a pretty slow eater, but after he finished, he put the fork on the container and sighed, “Man, this is really fun. I wish it was easier for me to do stuff like this for everyone.”
“Me too.” Nakamura said, “I wish we became friends sooner.”
“Well, we’re friends now aren’t we?”
“Yeah.” Nakamura swallowed.
Friends. It made his heart both skip a beat and feel tight at the exact same time. He had everything he ever wanted. Being close to him, talking like this, eating cake together just like he dreamed of. And yet, he found himself wanting more.
Nakamura gripped the chains of the swing a little tighter, “Hirose.”
Hirose stopped swinging and looked at him, leaning forward just a little bit. “Hm?”
“I actually….”
“Hey! There you are!” Kana’s voice pierced through the tension in the air, she was in the distance, on the corner of the block “Mom’s been texting you to come back for dinner! Hurry up already!”
Kana stormed off after that, and Hirose laughed. “Guess you gotta go.” Hirose said.
“Guess so.” Nakamura grumbled and got up. What a waste of a good moment. Stupid little sister.
Nakamura picked up his bag and they gave back each other’s containers. After Nakamura tucked the bento into plastic and into his own bag, he sighed and waved. “Well, see you at school…”
“Ah hang on.” Hirose walked right up to him, their chests pressed together. Nakamura froze, his eyes blown wide open. Hirose leaned in, his hand cupped Nakamura’s cheek softly, it was nice and warm.
Was this really happening? Nakamura closed his eyes, and clenched his fists at his sides. But nothing happened.
Hirose used his thumb to swipe a dab of cream stuck near Nakamura’s lip, “Guess you really like sweets, huh? You didn’t notice the whole time!” Hirose burst into laughter, and Nakamura was dumbfounded.His brain completely short-circuited, his face probably red as a tomato.
When Hirose finally stopped laughing, he grabbed his bag, “Alright, bye for real. See you tomorrow, Nakamura. ‘Kay?”
“Y-yeah.”
With that, they went their separate ways. Nakamura watched his feet take one step after the other. Nothing felt real. His heart felt strangely full, and it wouldn’t stop pounding. The moment with Hirose may have been short, but it would live forever in his mind.