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It’s only been three weeks since Waverly left for Egypt to work with Jeremy and BBD. For Nicole, it seems much longer—months or even a year because training Wynonna to be her new deputy has been excruciating. Between Wynonna’s disregard for rules, impatience for learning, lack of attention to detail, and, well, lack of attention in general, training has been slow going. Nicole often wonders if this was such a good idea.
As she walks out to the cruiser to begin daily rounds with her new deputy, she mutters to herself, “Maybe Wynonna isn’t really cut out for law enforcement. Being a rogue BBD agent was more her style.
Chief among Wynonna’s worst faults as a deputy-in-training is her innate ability to hear words but not absorb them. She constantly misconstrues explanations because she only catches every other word and all but ignores technical instructions concerning procedures and equipment. These oversights and omissions lead to snafus and complications with the locals that only Wynonna is capable of creating.
And Nicole always gets stuck sorting out the aftermath. Just yesterday, she finished the last of six reports that had to be filed after Wynonna mistakenly tasered Old Man Johnson’s pot-bellied pig, Miss Tallulah, who was on top of him giving him a hug. Wynonna thought it was attacking him. While trying to tase the pig, she accidentally got Johnson instead.
During patrols, Nicole quizzes Wynonna on the communication code abbreviations used by LEOs over the radio. Without these, there’d be a communication breakdown. As usual, deputy-to-be Earp has neither studied nor memorized any of them.
The radio crackles, and Chrissy Nedley’s voice is heard. “Dispatch to Sheriff Haught.”
As Nicole reaches for the mic to respond, Wynonna snatches it first.
“Hey-o bee-yotch! How’s it hangin’?”
“Wyn—Gimme that!” Nicole grabs the mic from Wynonna and scowls at her disapprovingly. “Dammit, Wynonna, you cannot say things like that on the radio. It is not proper procedure.”
Mimicking and mouthing the words, Wynonna crosses her arms and sulks like a five-year-old who’s just been scolded.
Huffing, Nicole responds, “Go for Sheriff Haught.”
“Hey Sheriff, there’s a 10-11, 10-15, and 10-56 at Shorty’s. Suggest 10-39 to announce presence before it turns into a 404.”
As she hears each code, Nicole translates in her head. Ok, animal problem, civil disturbance, intoxicated pedestrian, run lights and siren.
“Copy that, dispatch. 10-17.” Nicole glances at Wynonna who’s looking clueless as usual after a radio dispatch.
Scrunching her eyebrows in concentration, Wynonna says, “404-that’s a bunch of crazy hicks off their rockers, right?”
In surprised disbelief that Wynonna actually remembered a code, Nicole says begrudgingly, “Yes, that is correct. But it’s n—.”
Wynonna interrupts her and raises her hand for a high five, “Hell yeah! See, I’m learning. I got one right!”
Ignoring the high five, a deep, frustrated sigh escapes Nicole. She pinches the bridge of her nose, hoping it will release the irritation she’s feeling. “Deputy! Focus on the rest of the codes in that call. Where and why are we going? There were four other codes mentioned by dispatch.”
The triumphant look on Wynonna’s face fades away quickly. When Nicole uses her sheriff voice like that and doesn’t call her by name, Wynonna knows it’s serious business. “Fuck! Can’t a girl even celebrate a little victory?” she grouses.
“No, you do not have time to celebrate when you’re in the middle of a call. You must always be professional and on your toes. This is why knowing all the codes is so important. They tell you what type of situation to expect and prepare for as you are 10-17.” Nicole looks at Wynonna expectantly.
“You want me to tell you what that is, right?”
The sheriff nods.
“Ummm 10-17.” Wynonna taps her forehead. “It’s uhhhhh…on the tip of my tongue.”
“Come on, it’s common sense. What are we doing right now?” Nicole steps on the pedal, increasing their speed.
“Hauling ass! Yeah, we’re hauling ass, right?”
“Keep going. There’s more to it.”
Wynonna squeezes her eyes shut. “Uhhh, we…are…hauling— “
Nicole clears her throat.
Picking up on the hint, Wynonna says, “We are not hauling. We are on th— “
Another cough from the sheriff.
“OK, we are…on. No, we are en…”
Nicole nods slightly.
“En……route. En route. 10-17 means we’re en route!”
“Correct. Now grab your code book and look up the other codes.”
Before Wynonna can ask Nicole to repeat them, she supplies the information. "10-11, 10-15, 10-56, 10-39.”
Grumbling to herself, Wynonna says, “Could there BE any more problems in one call?”
Nicole grabs the mic, “Haught to dispatch.”
“Go ahead, Sheriff.”
“Our eta is five minutes.”
“Copy that. Be careful.”
“10-4, Chrissie. I always am.”
As they screech to a halt near Shorty’s, Nicole radios in, “Dispatch, we are 10-23. 10-12.” She glances at Wynonna again.
Scanning her list of codes, Wynonna replies, “Arrived at scene. Stand by.”
Nicole gives a thumb’s up.
The outer ring of the crowd that has gathered in front of Shorty’s hears the sirens and screeching tires, which make them turn to see what the new commotion behind them is.
“Deputy, were you able to define all the codes?”
“Yeah, mostly. It’s something about a drunk animal with a civilian occurrence?”
“Good grief, close enough. Let’s go.”
The two women exit the cruiser and walk toward the crowd, where they can hear yelling and arguing.
Since the repopulation of Purgatory after the BBD evacuation, the townspeople and supernatural folk have been learning to live together in harmony under the guidance of Sheriff Haught. Most days, everyone gets along. However, occasionally tension rises and tempers snap, causing "disagreements” between various members of the community.
“OK, Deputy, it sounds like tempers are flaring, so we need to be calm when we step into that circle. Our priority is to diffuse the situation quickly and do it without any flexing of authority. We are NOT going to bully these people into dispersing with threats. That will only upset them and inflame the situation more.”
“Check,” Wynonna replies.
Nicole rolls her eyes and corrects with an edgy tone, “Copy. We say copy to acknowledge understanding. Or…what code?” Nicole asks, thinking this one should be a no-brainer.
Hesitating, Wynonna processes what Nicole has just said.
Under her breath, Nicole mutters, “Ahhh, Jesus Christ, come on, Wynonna.”
“10-4! We say 10-4 when we understand!” Wynonna answers and does a small celebratory fist pump.
Nicole nods her head in approval and moves to the edge of the crowd with Wynonna in tow. People part to make a path to let them through. What they find is the usual chaos that always accompanies a dust-up in Purgatory. Freddy, the florist, is in the center, embroiled in an argument with Bunny Loblaw.
“Oh, crap. It’s Bunny again,” Nicole grimaces.
Wynonna glibly says, “Ah, hell, I see no issues here, Sheriff. Just a couple of Purgatory’s finest horsin' around. I say we just let this play out.”
Nicole uses her sheriff scowl to let Wynonna know how she feels about her deputy’s “assessment”.
“Animals should NOT be allowed in eating establishments!” Bunny yells.
“I am NOT an animal!” Freddy retorts. “I am a werewolf.”
“Wolf. You said wolf. Same difference as a dog. Wolves are furry, dirty, mangy creatures that carry diseases like fleas and ticks. They should not be permitted around food and beverages.”
“Fleas and ticks are not diseases, lady,” Freddy interjects.
Without missing a beat, Bunny continues her rant. “The dander and furballs you carry are enough to cause a person, ME namely, to have an allergic reaction. And I am not in the mood to have to use my EpiPen or go to the ER.” She takes a deep breath, “And that is why no animals should be allowed. You are dangerous to the well-being of every HUMAN in Purgatory.”
Rightfully so, Freddy is hurt, insulted, and furious. It’s really the first time he’s been confronted in public about being supernatural. He isn’t the only florist in town, but many people do order from his shop, which has made him feel more accepted in the community. However, today is different. He’s feeling attacked. Baring his fangs and claws, he snarls at Bunny. It’s the first time he’s felt provoked to protect himself in quite a while.
Terrified, Bunny steps back and reaches into her purse for her mace.
Without waiting for Nicole’s assessment of the situation and ensuing instructions, Wynonna sees Bunny reaching into her purse and makes an unfortunate assumption.
“Gun!!!!” She screams as she lunges at Bunny and tackles her to the ground.
A collective “Ohhhhh” emits from the crowd. Unfortunately, several people are recording with their cell phones. Just what Nicole needs—another chicken kicker incident, only this time it’s a bunny tackler.
Wynonna strikes again and turns a simple argument into mayhem. Nicole knows this is yet another mess she’ll have to untangle and fast. She reaches for Bunny and offers a hand to help her up.
Lying on her back with Wynonna draped across her, Bunny splutters, “Haught! How is it that YOU and your idiot sister-in-law are ALWAYS involved in MY mishaps?”
“Bunny, I’m so sorry. Wyn, I mean Deputy Earp is in training and still learning proper responses to situations.”
“Oh, right! Like I haven’t heard that before,” Bunny snaps. She slaps Nicole’s hand away and shoves Wynonna to the side.
From behind, Nicole hears a growl and looks over her shoulder to see Freddy in full pounce mode ready to defend himself.
“Whoa, Freddy,” the sheriff tries to calm him. He glares at her. “Oh, right, I’m sorry. Fred, let’s take a moment here.” Then, she looks down at her deputy and barks, “Earp! Get up!”
Bunny flails around looking like a June bug on its back as she rolls to her side and tries to get up.
Wynonna scrambles to her feet and grabs Bunny under her armpits, trying to help her. The disgruntled Bunny shucks Wynonna off, falling back to her hands and knees. “Oof! You incompetent buffoon!” Wynonna throws her hands up so as not to aggravate the woman further.
“Ok, everyone, let’s all just settle down here,” Nicole announces. “We can fig-” At that moment, she involuntarily lurches forward and bumps into Bunny, who was almost standing upright. Once again, she drops to the pavement, landing on her butt this time.
“Ouch! What the hell is going on?” She indignantly brushes her hair out of her face. “You are STILL some kinda moron, Haught. Somebody please remind me why we elected her as sheriff.”
Unable to resist a shot at her boss/best friend, Wynonna snickers, “Because no one else would take the job.”
Nicole shoots a nasty look at Wynonna grinding out, “An answer really wasn’t required for that question, Deputy.”
“Whoopsie, that was her Sheriff voice again. I better shut my mouth now,” Wynonna quips.
Nicole regains her composure while looking around to determine who pushed her into Bunny. Her eyes land on Champ “the town drunk” Hardy who has stumbled his way into the midst of the fray. Of all the people to survive the Bulshar war and BBD evacuation debacle, Champ Hardy just HAD to be one of them.
“Uh, sssshorry bout thet, Ssssssherf Haught,” Champ mumbles. “Wha’s goin’ on here? A sshhstreet pardy? Thatsh muh favrit kinda pardy.”
In all the hurry to diffuse the situation between Freddy and Bunny, Sheriff Haught and deputy-in-training Earp forgot to account for the 10-56, aka drunk pedestrian at the scene. As it turns out, Champ was slumped over the porch rail vomiting in front of Shorty’s and went unnoticed.
“No, Champ! It is NOT a street party or any other kind of party. It is a misunderstanding that does not involve you. Go home. NOW!” Nicole orders.
Putting a grimy hand on Nicole’s shoulder to steady himself, he looks at her with woozy bloodshot eyes and breathes heavily as he says, “I’snot a pardy? Well, damn. I wuz lookin’ for sum free beer-uh.” With that, he lets out another foul-smelling breath which wrinkles Nicole’s nose and makes her turn away. Champ pushes off of her and sways through the thinning crowd. “Ok, then. Ima gun’ go home now.” He shuffles away in a zig zag pattern down the street.
Nicole reaches for her radio. “Dispatch, this is the sheriff.”
“Go ahead, Sheriff. Everything ok?”
“Yes and no. Details will be in my report later. As for now, please send backup to Shorty’s. We need to escort Champ Hardy home…again.”
“Copy that, Sheriff. Unit 2 is 10-17.”
Wynonna walks around to Nicole and smugly whispers, “That means
en route. On the way. Coming soon.”
Tipping her head back, Nicole takes a deep breath before saying, “Everybody back up!” She spreads her arms in front of her to make room. “Fred, help Bunny up! Bunny! Let him help you. Earp! Take notes.”
“About what?” Wynonna asks.
“Everything I’m about to say.”
Wynonna digs in her back pocket to retrieve a small spiral notepad and grabs a pen from her shirt pocket.
“Now, please listen. ALL of you. In the last three years, we citizens of Purgatory have all suggested, voted on, and approved laws that treat humans and supernaturals equally. This includes those who may be part animal in some way. Therefore, animal laws apply only to those beings who are naturally and one hundred percent non-shape-shifting animals. That means werewolves and all other hybrids can legally dine in any establishment that serves food or beverages.”
Softly repeating as she writes, Wynonna says, “…last three years…” She looks up at Nicole, wanting to ask her to repeat.
Nicole knows this, shakes her head and keeps talking.
“…that serves food,” Wynonna shrugs, “that’ll do.”
Nicole then says, “Bunny, you should apologize to Fred for making such egregious assumptions about his cleanliness. It bordered upon harassment and racism.”
Appalled that the sheriff is calling her out in public and making her apologize, Bunny stammers for the right words. “Uh, I, erm...pfff.”
“Now, Bunny. Don’t try to shrug this off and then disappear. As sheriff of Purgatory, I am ordering you to apologize to Fred and MEAN it. Choose your words and tone carefully.”
“Yeah, Bun-Bun. Carefully,” Wynonna smirks.
Jabbing a sharp elbow into her deputy’s ribs, Nicole continues. “Fred, I understand that you were hurt and angered by Bunny’s words. But that’s all they were, words. I don’t think the situation really warranted you baring your fangs and claws. Do you?”
Fred shakes his head and looks down at his feet sheepishly.
Nicole places her hand on the werewolf’s shoulder and squeezes gently. “There is nothing to be ashamed about, Fred. You were surprised and scared. I know it’s been a while since anyone’s put you in that position. Keep this in mind for the next time someone gets angry and throws harsh words at you. Please apologize to Bunny.”
He steps forward and takes Bunny’s hands in his shaggy paws, absent the claws. The shocked look on her face says it all. She is both frightened and surprised that a werewolf is holding her hands.
“Ms. Loblaw, I want to sincerely apologize for showing my anger with you in that manner. It was inappropriate, unnecessary, and inexcusable. Can you please forgive me? I’ll even throw in a dozen roses for free.”
“Oh, well, there’s no need for that. It was an honest mistake, Mr. Fred. Of course I forgive you. And I-I am also sorry for the things I said. Pl-please f-fff-forgive me as well.”
The werewolf steps closer with arms outstretched to hug Bunny.
Now, she has definitely changed in the last few years, but not enough to be comfortable with hugging a werewolf. Politely, Bunny shakes her head and walks away.
“Don’t feel bad, Fred-O. Bun-Bun isn’t quite up to hugging anyone–not just werewolves,” Wynonna explains.
He smiles and chuckles. “Thank you, Sheriff Haught, for sorting this all out. I really appreciate you and your words of wisdom. You’re right; I haven’t felt that provoked since before I came to Purgatory. And you have a lot to do with that.” He leans in to hug Nicole, who gladly hugs him back.
“Aw, you’re very welcome, Fred. You ARE my favorite florist after all. Go on home and relax.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
She waves goodbye to him and tells the rest of the crowd to disperse as well.
As she and Wynonna walk back to the cruiser, she says, “Let me see your notes, Deputy.”
“My, uh, notes? Really?”
“Yes, really. Every single thing I tell you or ask you to do while we are on duty is part of your training. You must be able to take detailed notes from witnesses and the scene to help you write reports when you return to the station.” Holding her hand out, “Now, notebook, please.”
Wynonna hands the small notepad over quietly and then scurries to the car.
Slowly, Nicole walks to the cruiser and flips the pages. Actually, she only flips one because that’s all Wynonna wrote.
Once in the car, Nicole hands the notepad back to her deputy. “You’re going to have to improve your note-taking skills.” Then she puts on her seatbelt, starts the engine, checks her mirror, puts the car in drive, and pulls away from Shorty’s. All without saying another word.
The tension within the cruiser is palpable and so thick it could be cut by a chainsaw. Wynonna knows something is up with her boss because she’s also her sister-in-law, and they live together. It’s safe to say that she knows Nicole almost as well as Waverly does. “So, that went well.”
“Mmm.”
“What’s wrong, Nicole? We broke up a possible fight between a werewolf and a bunny. That could have been gory if we hadn’t stepped in. Why soooo blah?”
“I’m not really in the mood for this right now, Deputy.”
“Oh. Deputy. That’s not good, Sheriff.”
Wynonna waits for a response, but none comes. Nicole grips the steering wheel tightly with both hands and keeps her eyes on the road. If Wynonna didn’t know better, she’d have thought there were icicles forming above Nicole’s head because she is definitely giving a cold shoulder.
It is becoming clear that Nicole has reached maximum density of patience due to Wynonna’s most recent gaffe.
“Come on, Nicole, talk to me. What’s got under your skin?”
“I really do not want to talk to you right now, Wynonna. You would be better off if I didn’t say anything.”
“About what? I didn’t tase anyone this time.”
“No, you didn’t. But what you DID do is just as bad, worse even.”
“Worse? How? Nobody got hurt or arrested. And they all went on their merry way.”
Blowing out her breath, Nicole says, “Think about what YOU did today.”
Wynonna is caught off guard by how sharply Nicole speaks. So, she leans back in her seat to replay the day’s events. “I don’t know. It seemed like a pretty average day on the job to me.”
Nicole swerves to the right onto the shoulder and slams on the brakes. As the cruiser jerks to a stop, she shoves it into park.
“Average? Really? Do you call tackling one of our citizens average?”
“Oh, that? That was nothing. No need to thank me. I was just doing my job. Saving the people from a shooter and all.”
“Except there was no shooter! Bunny was reaching for mace, not a freaking gun! Most women keep it in their purse for self-defense. It’s very common and smart.”
“Well, I don’t.”
“You don’t even carry a purse, Wynonna.”
“So I jumped the gun a little bit. What’s the big deal? It all worked out.”
“The big deal is that you could have hurt Bunny. And then she would’ve sued the department. And Internal Affairs would probably terminate you. That’s the big deal!”
For once, Wynonna absorbs every word Nicole says. It begins to dawn on her that being a sheriff’s deputy is not all fun and games. But it’s a little late for that epiphany now.
“Jesus Christ, Wynonna! Your audacity just blows my mind.”
“My what? Did you say my odyssey? Isn’t that like a freakishly long road trip or something? ‘Cause if it is, I’ve already been to Greece. Say, didn’t Homer Simpson write that?”
Nicole puts the heel of her hand to her forehead in exasperation. “No! I didn’t say odyssey. I said audacity. Your audacity.”
Shaking her head as if to clear out cobwebs or cotton balls, Wynonna says, “Um what? Did you say my opacity? I’m pretty sure I’m 100 percent solid. No see-through here.” Then she waves her hands to prove her point.
“Uggghhhh,” Nicole groans and rubs her face with both hands. She inhales some patience and tries yet again. “I…said…audacity.”
“Are you sure? It sounds like ‘hot ass I see.’ In which case, thank you very much. My ass is very hot.”
“For Christ’s sake, Wynonna! Do you not understand the words coming out of my mouth? I said, AUDACITY! Just freaking pay attention!”
“I am! Just freaking say it louder. You mumble, ya know.”
As she does a double take, Nicole says angrily, “I definitely do NOT mumble.”
“Well, what did you say then? And remember to e-nun-ci-ate,” Wynonna says in a hoity-toity fake British accent.
Grabbing her red hair at the roots and pulling, Nicole repeats herself yet again. “Au-dac-i-ty. You have such audacity to say and do the things that you do; and it is driving me absolutely nuts!”
“Things like what? Give me an example because I have no idea what the fugacity you’re talking about.”
“Fine. When you assume someone is pulling a gun out of their purse and tackle them without considering the ramifications, and THEN think it’s just another day at the office, THAT…” she points dramatically at Wynonna, “…is audacity, and you are full of it. To the point of reckless abandon. And it’s dangerous.”
“Oh, well, why didn’t ya just say so?”
“That’s it! That is it! I have had it! We are done for the day. We’re heading back to the station, and you are spending the rest of the shift in the bullpen at a desk filling out reports about today’s call.”
“No, no,” Wynonna whines. “I hate reports, and writing, and spelling, and–”
Nicole cuts her short. “I don’t really give a shit what you don’t like Wynonna. You agreed to become a sheriff’s deputy, and by God, if it’s the last thing I do on this earth, I am going to make you one. Now shut up and start writing down everything you can remember about today’s call starting with getting out of the damned car at Shorty’s.”
“But…”
“No buts. Just do it.” The look Sheriff Haught gives Deputy Earp speaks volumes, leaving the deputy speechless.
The ride back to the station is beyond quiet as Wynonna scribbles every single detail she can think of to describe the day’s events.
When they arrive at the station, Nicole grabs Wynonna by the arm and drags her to a desk. She unceremoniously plops her deputy into a chair. “Sit,” she commands. “I’ll go get the report forms.”
Meekly, Wynonna says, “No, you don’t have to. I know where they are.”
Nicole is stopped open-mouthed by Wynonna’s admission. It registers that Wynonna has been listening. She closes her mouth, nods curtly, and turns on her heel to go to her office.
As Wynonna gets up to grab the report papers, Chrissy walks into the bullpen. She sees the stern look on Nicole’s face and the bewildered one on Wynonna’s. “Wow! Is it frigid in here or is it just me? Feels like an ice storm just blew through.”
“I dunno, it might just be you. All I can tell you is don’t say ‘audacity’ around Nicole. She’s been a real stickler about using it correctly today.”