Chapter Text
For anyone blessed enough to not know who vlad was (bless yall souls), well there is four main things he was he was known for:
1. streaming on VR chat for 6-7 hours straight
2. Watching hazbin hotel and helluva boss when he wasn’t streaming
3. smelling suspiciously like rotten milk
4. Gooning with his VRchat alphas in the restroom at chilis
On an incredibly gassy day y/n and vlad were on a very stinky walk outside all you could smell was vanilla coming from Y/N and expired dairy products from vlad, anyone unfortunate enough to get close to them would vomit and shit themselves (based on THE true story).
Y/N and vlad were on their way to Arby’s to get the triple deluxe chitlin meat mountain, but once they got there Y/N got coughed on by a frizzy, greasy ass haired man named eddy. He had snot coming out his nose (he has a lot of nose hairs) and was super sweaty because he was sick.
“OMG U JUST COUGHED ON ME” Y/N yelled at the sick man.
“how dare you cough on my kitten..” vlad said, “prepare to get canceled on discord.”
“Hey..I’m sorry man I didn’t mean to cough on ur partner,” eddy apologized putting his hands up, “I’m so sorry vlad! I love you! You’re my favorite streamer!!!!!!!”
“Let’s get out of here my little kitty.”
“okay my alpha vladdy baby!”
——— Time Skip ———-
At vlad’s apartment, he and Y/N were snuggling up on the nasty ass bacteria infected couch while watching hazbin hotel songs on youtube shorts. Y/N started coughing violently coughing and lemme tell you it was a wet ass cough too it was like a wet fart tho.
Vlad looks at Y/N, and looks sad.
“baby are you getting sick?”
“I-I-I don’t know..” Y/N looks down at her lap, “I think that nasty fuck who coughed on me got me sick.”
“I hate my fans.” Vlad says
“Tell me about it, my big strong alpha.. All of them are a bunch of creeps and they do nothing but whack off to Angel-dust from Hazbin Hotel!” Y/N replies upset.
“But don’t you know..” vlad said slowly.. “That’s ALSO what I do, you know this..!”
“Yeah, but ur an exception because ur my big strong arby-eating anime waifu!!1!!”
They all laughed together when all of a sudden, Y/N coughed more and then they vomitted, pissed, and shat themselves all simultaneously…
“OH MY GOODNESS!! ARE YOU OKAY KITTEN!?!?” vlad yelled out. he was clearly distraught at the super grotesque sight, though admittedly he did want to throw up just from the smell and sight alone, but nevertheless still loved them.
“Oh my, I think i’m going to have to cancel my VR chat stream to take care of you!” Vlad said.
“No..No! Don’t cancel your stream! Your fans depend on you!” Y/N yelled.
“Too late, I already sent the tweet on twitter and on discord!” Vlad replied, Y/N could hear the buzzing coming from Vlad’s phone, most likely angry fans.
Y/N sighed, “What would I do without you my alpha..”
“Die, probably”
“Probably”