Chapter Text
The morning started with a crime.
A very tiny crime.
And the criminal was sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor with chocolate smeared all over his cheeks.
Jungkook blinked innocently at the four adults staring at him.
The cookie jar lay shattered beside him.
Silence.
Namjoon looked at the broken jar.
Then at Jungkook.
Then at the chair that had somehow been dragged across the entire kitchen.
Then at the spoon.
Then at the trail of cookie crumbs.
“…How?”
Yoongi sipped his coffee.
“I stopped asking that question months ago.”
Jungkook proudly held up half a cookie.
“Wookie did it.”
“We know you did it.”
The toddler gasped dramatically.
“No! Wookie good boy!”
“Then who did it?”
Jungkook pointed at Namjoon.
“Namon.”
Namjoon nearly choked.
“ME?!”
Tiny nod.
“Yeth.”
Jin burst out laughing.
“He’s already blaming people. He’s ready for society.”
Unfortunately, today wasn’t about cookie crimes.
Today was Jungkook’s first day of kindergarten.
And nobody was prepared.
Especially not Jungkook.
The second Jin brought out the tiny yellow backpack, Jungkook froze.
The cookie dropped from his hand.
His eyes narrowed suspiciously.
“What dat?”
Jimin and Taehyung, both looked up from their cereal.
“It’s school!” Taehyung said excitedly.
“It’s fun!” Jimin added.
Jungkook looked horrified.
“Thcool?”
“Yep!”
“No.”
And just like that, he turned around and waddled away.
Everyone watched him disappear.
A moment later they heard—
Click.
Yoongi raised an eyebrow.
“Did he just lock himself in the bathroom?”
“He did.”
“He absolutely did.”
Jin sighed.
“Fantastic.”
—
Fifteen minutes later.
Jungkook was still inside.
Negotiations had begun.
“Jungkook.”
“No.”
“Come out.”
“No.”
“We have snacks.”
“No.”
“We have banana milk.”
The door opened immediately.
A tiny face appeared.
“How many?”
Jin stared.
“He’s literally bribing us.”
“How many nana milk?”
“Two.”
The door opened fully.
“Okay.”
—
Getting him dressed was another battle.
Jungkook refused his uniform.
He wanted dinosaur pajamas.
Specifically the dinosaur pajamas he’d worn for three straight days.
“No.”
“Dino.”
“No.”
“DINOOOO.”
The toddler dramatically collapsed onto the floor.
Face first.
Not even protecting himself.
Just—
FLUMP.
Jimin casually stepped over him.
“He’s doing it again.”
“Doing what?”
“The dead fish thing.”
“Oh.”
Taehyung nodded wisely.
“Yeah. He does that.”
Jungkook immediately started kicking his feet.
“Dinooooo!”
Hoseok crouched beside him.
“Jungkookie, if you wear your uniform, you’ll make friends.”
Tiny sniffle.
“Fwiends?”
“Lots of friends.”
Jungkook thought about it.
“…Can they share snacks?”
“Probably.”
He stood up instantly.
“Okay.”
—
The car ride was even worse.
Halfway there, realization struck.
He wasn’t going to the store.
Or the park.
He was going somewhere new.
His little face slowly crumpled.
“Oh no.”
Everyone knew that expression.
The expression before a category five toddler hurricane.
“Oh no,” Yoongi muttered.
“Oh no,” Namjoon agreed.
“Oh no,” Jin echoed.
“WAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!”
There it was.
The storm.
“I DON’T WANNA GO THCOOL!”
“Why not?”
“BECAUTHE!”
“Because what?”
“BECAUTHE IT THCOOL!”
The logic was flawless.
Nobody could argue.
—
When they finally arrived, Jungkook became suspiciously quiet.
Very suspiciously.
Too suspiciously.
The adults looked around.
“Where’s Jungkook?”
Silence.
Everyone froze.
“WHERE’S JUNGKOOK?!”
Panic.
Absolute panic.
Then—
Jimin pointed calmly.
“He’s in the backpack.”
“What?”
Sure enough.
The tiny menace had somehow folded himself into his own backpack compartment.
Only his eyes were visible.
Taehyung crouched.
“What are you doing?”
“Hiding.”
“Why?”
“So thcool can’t thee me.”
“…”
“…”
“…”
Yoongi actually laughed so hard he had to sit down.
—
Inside the classroom, things got better.
For approximately thirty seconds.
Then the teacher smiled.
“Hello, Jungkook!”
Tiny gasp.
She knew his name.
How.
Why.
Who told her.
Was she a wizard?
Jungkook immediately hid behind Jimin.
“Hyung.”
“What?”
“Thave me.”
“From what?”
“The lady.”
The teacher looked heartbroken.
“I promise I’m nice.”
Jungkook wasn’t convinced.
—
Then something magical happened.
The teacher brought out finger paints.
Jungkook stared.
Colors.
Lots of colors.
He slowly approached.
Touched blue paint.
Touched red paint.
Mixed them together.
His eyes widened.
The teacher smiled.
“Pretty cool, right?”
Jungkook looked amazed.
“Magic.”
And just like that, he forgot to cry.
—
An hour later, Jin secretly peeked through the classroom window.
And nearly melted.
Jungkook sat at a tiny table.
Laughing.
Covered in paint.
Showing another kid how to make handprints.
Jimin and Taehyung sat nearby proudly.
Like they’d personally raised him.
Taehyung pointed at Jungkook.
“That’s our baby.”
Jimin nodded.
“Our annoying baby.”
Jungkook looked over.
Spotted them.
And yelled across the classroom.
“LOOK HYUNG! I MADE HAND CHICKEN!”
“It looks like a tree.”
“IT CHICKEN.”
“Okay.”
—
At pickup time, everyone expected stories.
What they didn’t expect was Jungkook refusing to leave.
“Come on, bunny.”
“No.”
“What?”
“No.”
“You cried all morning.”
“No.”
“You literally screamed.”
“No.”
“You hid in a backpack.”
“No.”
Everyone stared.
Jungkook hugged his teacher’s leg.
“I live here now.”
The teacher laughed.
“You have to go home.”
“No.”
“Your family misses you.”
Jungkook looked at his family.
Then at the classroom.
Then at the family.
Then at the classroom.
Finally he sighed dramatically.
“Fine.”
As they walked away, he waved.
“Bye fwiends!”
Then he looked up at Jin.
“Can I go again tomowwow?”
The entire family froze.
Jin smiled.
“Really?”
Tiny nod.
“Yeth.”
Everyone exchanged shocked looks.
Jimin smirked.
“Told you he’d like it.”
Taehyung grinned.
“He cried for nothing.”
Jungkook gasped.
“I DID NOT.”
“You did.”
“I DID NOT.”
“You absolutely did.”
“WAAAAAHHHHH!”
And just like that, the crying started again.
For a completely different reason this time.
The kindergarten teachers watched from the window.
One of them asked softly,
“Does he always do that?”
The family looked at Jungkook dramatically crying because Taehyung stole one gummy bear.
Then at the teacher.
Then back at Jungkook.
“Yes.”
“Every day.”
“Several times a day.”
“Sometimes hourly.”
“Welcome to our life.” 😂💜