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Your Camp is Doing Everything Wrong

Summary:

Jason Grace doesn't have his memories. When he arrives to a camp filled with demigods who are injured, war-torn and unloved, he still knows something is very wrong.

Percy Jackson doesn't have his memories. When he's taken to a summer camp that's more like a cult, he still knows something is very wrong.

(A story inspired by the various Broken Pantheon AUs, but with a very new spin added. Not accurate to Roman Mythology whatsoever).

Chapter 1: So you have amnesia

Chapter Text

Jason might not have his memories, but he still knew that the storm spirit trying to kill him shouldn’t make him feel so happy. People’s reactions when faced with a deadly threat were more like Leo and Piper’s: absolute terror. Jason was doing a bad job at being terrified.

In his defense, facing down a creature made of wind was a lot less scary with a pair of giant wings on his back. Even if he fell into the Grand Canyon, he’d be able to fly out. Jason didn’t know why he had wings, but he wasn’t complaining. Piper said he had them because he was an angel. Jason doubted that, but he had amnesia so it was technically possible.

Jason also had a golden sword. He used the sword to stab the storm spirit over and over. Jason flew up, sweeping downwards in an arc with his sword drawn, slashing as he passed the enemy over and over again.

The spirit was made of clouds- it didn’t even bleed. Jason’s attacks were remarkably ineffective. The spirit sent roaring winds pushing everything to the edge of the cliff. Piper and Leo were in danger of falling into the Grand Canyon, just barely clinging to the guard rail. Jason probably would have been more upset if he could remember all the good times he and his friends had. Right now, all he could think about was how he could kill the storm spirit.

The spirit smirked and pointed a finger gun at Jason. It wasn’t even a real weapon. The spirit must have thought Jason wasn’t a real threat. Jason felt the urge to rip the spirit into bloody pieces for the insult, even though he logically knew that the spirit didn’t have blood.

The spirit fired his finger gun. Jason’s body erupted into pain. Being electrocuted was terrible, the worst experience Jason could remember (but that wasn’t saying much). It felt like his body was being stabbed by millions of needles, needles stabbing inside his skin, in his organs, directly into his heart. The flash of lightning seemed to last an entire minute, or perhaps his body was lingering in pain after being used as a lightning rod.

The pain began to fade. Something in his mind mourned the loss. Jason pulled himself off the scorched ground. The spirit was flying away. Jason might be able to go after it. It should pay for what it did.

Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted Piper and Leo barely hanging on the cliff’s edge. That had been the thing’s plan- force Jason to save his companions so it could live on to harass more children. Jason could kill it, preventing the monster from striking again. Piper and Leo hadn’t been that useful in the battle, they’d likely die the next time monsters appeared. Saving them would be pointless.

“Jason!” Piper screamed. Jason realized Piper was very pretty, and it would be such a shame if she died. She said they were dating. He should be a good boyfriend and rescue her.

Jason turned and helped return his companions to the ground.

“Dude,” Leo gasped. “That was crazy.”

“My hero,” Piper smiled at Jason. She promptly puked on his shoes.

Their chaperone sprinted in, wielding a baseball bat. “Alrighty, Dylan, it’s time to go to pain town,” Coach Hedge shouted. He swung the bat a few times, before realizing the monster was no longer here. “Where’d he go?”

“He got away,” Jason growled.

 

Percy might not have his memories, but he still knew that the pack of people hunting him down probably wasn’t trustworthy. He also knew he was being a reckless idiot- a seaweed-brain- for spying on them. In Percy’s defense, this was the fourth time they’d gotten close to finding him. They also were way less hostile than the snake sisters who wanted to kill him.

These people weren’t snake-like at all. At least the snake women clearly wanted to eat Percy’s flesh. With these purple-shirted people, Percy didn’t have a clue what they wanted. He first found them asking around for a dark haired teenager with green eyes who might look lost. Percy realized he was a dark haired teenager with green eyes that might look lost, and ran as far as he could before convincing himself it was probably a coincidence.

Then he saw the same people poking around near a Starbucks directly across from the dumpster he planned to sleep behind. They were even wearing the same purple ‘Camp Juniper’ shirts. Did they not have any other clothes? It wasn’t like Percy could judge- he’d been wearing his shirt so long he couldn’t tell what color it originally was.

They popped up in Percy’s dreams. A circle of purple shirt children prayed to the gods in Latin. Occasionally, a phrase would be said in English: bring home the lost ones, may the hunt be swift, forgive your mortal soldiers. Everything about it was creepy.

The third time Percy spotted them, they were attacking the snake ladies with golden swords. Percy was sort of relieved that the snake people didn’t get along with the cult of purple shirts. On the other hand, the cult that was probably looking for him had weapons and knew how to use them.

So when he saw the purple shirt people a day later gathering in a public park and arguing with each other, Percy made the stupid choice to spy on them. If things went badly, there were four of them and one of him.

The four were standing around a campfire. Percy was pretty sure that was a crime to start a bonfire in the neatly cut grass next to the tulips, but he was no snitch. There were enough trees in the area to block them from the sight of any patrolling cops, as well as to allow Percy to get close enough to spy effectively.

“This plan isn’t working,” a girl with dozens of braids complained. Her bright red hair went all the way to her waist, probably not her natural color. She looked older than Percy, with even more scars adorning her body. Looking closer, Percy could see a pair of golden prosthetic fingers on her right hand. “The sisters have split apart, leading us in wild directions. They’ve clearly come onto our plan.”

“I never felt right leaving monsters alive anyway,” a large dude complained. The guy was a wall of pure muscle, like an Olympic level weightlifter. He had a pair of prosthetic legs going up to his knees. “They’d harm the blessing if we gave them the chance.”

“I think he’s close by,” the youngest guy mentioned. He was a tall teenager with Asian features. He lacked the golden body parts the other three had.

“In which direction?” Braids had snapped. She closed in on the Asian kid. “We’ve been searching for days. Our failure is a disappointment to the gods. If we don’t bring him home soon…”

A golden arm held her back. A fourth individual, one with both arms replaced with golden replicas, handed her a protein bar. “We all want to find the blessing. Your temper brings us no closer to our mission.”

Braids ripped the protein bar open and shoved it into her mouth.

“What’s the new strategy, Frank?” Muscles proceeded to ask the Asian kid, who was apparently named Frank, for advice.

“First,” Gold Arms interrupted, “everyone eats something. A mind dulled by hunger is of no use to us.”

Muscles rolled his eyes, but accepted a protein bar.

“I think we need to ask the gods for intervention,” Frank stated. “We can’t risk the blessing getting hurt.”

Percy would’ve laughed if he wasn’t trying to be stealthy. Why should any gods help out a lost teenager? What would they be getting out of it? Unless Frank was prepared to make an offering to the gods or go on a ridiculous quest, Percy doubted anything would happen.

The older members of the group sat in silence for a moment. Eventually, Gold Arms spoke up. “Which one?”

“Apollo?” Frank suggested.

“He’s already given assistance on this quest,” Braids pointed out. “To ask for more would be a bad idea.”

“I know you like him, kiddo,” Gold arms said, “but we can’t ask the same god for assistance twice on the same quest. If only we knew who his parent was, we wouldn’t have to contemplate this.”

“Given his appearance, we could make a guess,” Frank stated.

“Guessing wrong would be a death sentence,” Muscles argued.

Frank paled and nodded.

“The lady of the hunt,” Braids suggested. Something about that title felt familiar to Percy. Unfortunately, he was an amnesiac, which meant he had to settle with the uncanny vibes he received from time to time.

“The blessing isn’t prey,” Muscles growled.

“We ask for assistance in tracking, and protect the blessing when it comes down to it. The gods won’t be working against us,” Braids argued.

“I don’t think we have a better alternative,” Frank noted. “All in favor?”

Braids agreed immediately. After thinking it over, Muscles and Gold Arms did as well. Percy considered leaving, but he hadn’t learned anything useful yet- not even if the blessing they kept talking about was him. Who in their right mind would look at Percy right now, a teenager with a criminal record who hadn’t showered in a week, and think ‘yeah, that guy is a blessing’. They were probably looking for some other dark haired teenager who just so happened to be in the exact same locations Percy was, who was also hunted down by snake ladies.

Percy wasn’t about to test that theory by introducing himself.

“Who will make the offering?” Gold Arms asked the group.

“I could do it,” Frank replied.

“Absolutely not,” Gold Arms shouted. “Kiddo, the gods love you. If we let you get hurt, we’re going to get punished.”

“I’ll do it,” Braids volunteered. “Might as well complete the set.l

Percy didn’t have a clue what Braids meant by that, but the others in the group seemingly understood it. Muscles handed her a switchblade. She flicked it open, her eyebrows furrowed in concentration.

She pressed the blade against her index finger, one of the few flesh-fingers she had left. Unflinchingly, she cut into her flesh.

Percy gasped. It wasn’t on purpose- he just hadn’t expected to see someone trim off their own fingers with the same attitude Percy had cutting his hair.

Muscles caught the finger before it touched the ground. He was about to throw it into their campfire when Frank motioned to stop him.

“I heard something,” Frank explained. He walked to the tree Percy was crouched behind.

Percy should’ve known this would happen. Luckily, the Snake Ladies from earlier hadn’t been able to harm him with their claws. This fight might not go terribly.

Frank peeked around the tree. Percy waved.

Frank proceeded to remove a golden ring from his finger and throw it at Percy’s face. It bounced off harmlessly. Frank’s eyes widened.

“This might seem a little crazy,” Frank stated, “but I’m not lying, okay? One of your parents sent me out here to find you and bring you somewhere safe. You’ve seen the monsters chasing after you- we’re going to protect you from things like that.”

“How do I know you’re not trying to kill me too?” Percy asked.

Frank considered his options, before handing Percy a crossbow. “Now I’m disarmed, and you’ve got the weapons. Would a monster do that? Look, we’re taking you to a summer camp- Camp Jupiter in New Rome. There are other kids like you there. You’ll have food, and a nice bed to sleep in, and… uh… a shower?”

Percy nodded. “Alright, sounds fine. No fishy business, or I'll use this crossbow you handed me.”

Frank smiled nervously. “Sure thing. I’m Frank Zhang, by the way.”

“Percy Jackson,” Percy introduced himself.

Braids stared at Percy. Instead of introducing herself, she kneeled on the ground in front of him. “Honored blessing, accept this offering.”

She held out her hands as though she were proposing. Instead of a ring, she offered him her freshly chopped finger.