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Usually, a human life is divided into seven stages. These steps are called birth, infancy, childhood, adolescence, early adulthood, middle adulthood and old age. They are major stages where humans take valuable steps towards something new –a new life, a new place, a new job, a new school. You can never go back or move forward before it has its time. It’s constant. Unchangeable.
But Jeon Jeongguk thinks it’s slightly different for him. His life isn’t divided into seven stages.
It’s only two.
Before Seokjin and after Seokjin.
Nothing else matters. Before Seokjin. Jeongguk doesn’t even remember what he lived for.
As he watches Kim Seokjin, the hyung he has known for the past fifteen years, makes a mocking face with a slight annoyance towards the camera he is holding, Jeon Jeongguk’s heart flutters with cuteness aggression. It’s the reason why he is alive; the reason why he had to endure hardships during that awful military era; to come back home, to see the beautiful moments like this.
The way his smile is brighter and bigger than ever, even the make-up noonas mock him for it.
“Seokjin is truly the main star of your vlog, isn’t he?” one of them says before the concert, as Jeongguk watches some clips he took for his vlog. “He is the main event.”
Jeongguk grins.
That’s not a lie.
Seokjin is the main star of his videos. Of his playful tactics. Of his songs. Of his fantasies. Seokjin is the main star in Jeon Jeongguk’s life; and it’s a secret that they can’t hide very well.
A secret that contains lots of kissing and touching. A secret that had been going on for the past five years. A secret; begun right before the military on a drunk night and continues to be even after the hardships.
A secret Jeongguk wants to have for a long, long time.
Jeongguk loves giving concerts. He loves seeing the glistening eyes; different faces for every night, love overflowing from their glistening eyes and bright smiles; Jeongguk loves singing his songs for them, having six people around him on stage, and playing with them anytime he wants. Concerts are the times where he feels alive the most. It’s a place where he can be himself without a single thought or a worry.
No matter the hardships, it always dies when he sets his foot on stage and welcomes the fans he has to entertain tonight.
It takes some time to come down the high of a concert night; and every one of them deals with it differently. They all take a quick shower right after arriving at the hotel or pension they stay at, and usually Taehyung is already curled up under the blankets, watching some Youtube videos to help him sleep after a blastful night. Jimin usually talks with his father before bidding goodnight to everyone and goes to sleep. Hoseok hyung and Yoongi hyung chit-chats for a while; and Namjoon hyung is already in bed, scrolling on Twitter to see fan reactions.
And Seokjin has his laptop on, and the game is set up already.
Jeongguk walks into his room with a towel on his hands, drying his wet hair after a quick shower he got after the gym. Just like how everyone has different habits, Jeongguk does too. He loves going to the gym after the concerts. It helps him get off the adrenaline in a more composed way. He asked his hyung to accompany him but Seokjin is always too tired or too lazy to go to the gym after a concert.
Seokjin gazes at him for a split second before returning back to his game.
“Today was extra tiring,” Jeongguk says as he walks towards his hyung, only in a black Calvin Klein short, water droplets falling from chest to his toned abs. “Three nights back to back is killing me.”
“Hm.” Seokjin hums, eyes still on the game. “You should sleep.”
“I’m gonna.” Jeongguk yawns, dropping himself onto the bed. He knows Seokjin hates wet sheets but it’s alright. It’s gonna get wetter soon. “Did you eat?”
“Yeah, I ate when you were at the gym –Oh, oh, oh no, no, fuck, ugh, no!”
The sounds coming from his hyung are too loud for Jeongguk to ignore; that’s one of the things driving Jeongguk crazy.
Seokjin always moans extremely when he plays games. His moans are always so deep and airy; like someone is torturing him. That’s why no one can ever tell when Seokjin is whining in a game or Jeongguk is having his way with him –oh and do they have complaints.
“Hyung, can you and Jeongguk just tune things down a little?” Namjoon asked while Seokjin stood in the kitchen with a cereal bowl in his hand. “Last night I couldn’t sleep from the sound of you guys doing it. I know you guys are just…” He waves his hands out in the air, “...crazy, but I want you guys to remember my room is right next to yours.”
Jeongguk was sitting on the kitchen table, totally dumbfounded. “Hyung.” He wants to cry. “I was out with my family last night.”
Namjoon was in a serious shock, looking at Seokjin, then to Jeongguk, then to Seokjin again.
Seokjin screamed. “I was playing games, you idiot! How dare you speak your hyung like that?”
Playing games or getting fucked by his boyfriend.
Maybe it was the same for Seokjin.
And the effect? Yeah, it was the same for Jeongguk. As he gets up from the bed, already annoyed with the noises Seokjin makes, standing at the back of his hyung to watch him play, Jeongguk is not afraid to admit that he is semi-hard.
“When is your game going to end?” he asks, hands grabbing the end of Seokjin’s chair. His hyung always brings his own set up to the hotels they stay in. It doesn’t matter what country. Seokjin carries heavy baggages and Jeongguk helps him to set up.
“I’m gonna beat the final boss, I’m so close-”
“You can be closer to somethings too, you know.” Jeongguk can’t help but pout a little. “I’m here, practically naked, and definitely hard for you, but all your focus is on the games.”
“I–” Seokjin lifts his head, looking at Jeongguk from below. He looks so freaking cute like this that Jeongguk wants to kiss his forehead. He turns to the game immediately. “Okay, go to bed, I’ll deal with you when I finish the game.”
“I don’t want later. I want now.”
“Well it’s sad we can’t have what we want immediately, right? I waited like three years for you.”
“I waited for ten.” Jeongguk rolls his eyes. Seokjin loves to nag about this. Apparently, he was in love with Jeongguk for three years without coming out to him; and he said it was very hard to control his emotions due to him being the hyung. But he didn’t know Jeongguk was in love with him for the past ten years (the moment he saw Seokjin, per se), so when Jeongguk admitted his side of the story, Seokjin was sad at not being the yearner and picked a fight about it for like a week. Jeongguk had to apologize and say Seokjin was the original yearner to make up with him.
Yearning for ten years, being boyfriends for the past four years, and Jeongguk has no patience anymore. He hovers above Seokjin to access the keyboard and he exits the game, earning a scream from Seokjin.
“No, Jeongguk, no, no, I was playing! I was at the final boss stage!”
“Play later. I wanna fuck you right now.”
With that, Jeongguk grabs him from his sides and pushes him to the bed, Seokjin screaming with the strength of the younger. “You brat!” he screams, “You are so fucking annoying, Jeongguk! Let me go!”
“I’m annoying and I want to fuck you.” Jeongguk grins, hovering over Seokjin on bed like an animal attacking his prey, ignoring Seokjin’s whines. “I want to truly fuck you, hyung, I waited for three days since you said there were concerts. It’s over now and I want my share now.”
Seokjin grits his teeth in a fake annoyance, “You waited for three days but couldn’t wait for thirty minutes to let me suck your cock?”
“Ah, hyung,” Jeongguk flutters, “You wanna suck my cock?”
Seokjin crosses his arms and huffs. “Not anymore.”
He acts like this, but when Jeongguk leans in to kiss him, slow and deep, Seokjin melts like a candle wax being held too close to the fire.
“I love you,” he whispers between the kiss, “I love you so much, so fucking much, hyung,”
Seokjin takes a deep breath –Jeongguk’s black vanilla and oak cologne filling his nostrils. “I love you too, baby,”
As Jeongguk peppers kisses towards the beautiful, bare neck of his hyung, he can’t help but think how Seokjin smells like milk even after the effect of a three hour long concert. Jeongguk doesn’t fancy heavy smells since his nose is sensitive to it, and he is lucky that Seokjin doesn’t like wearing those heavy smells either. His hyung walks around with a linger of baby powder and milk; clean and fresh, like mint. “You smell amazing. How can you smell this delicious? I love your scent so much.”
“Can you just shut up and fuck me?”
“You act like you hate it when I say these,” Jeongguk murmurs between the kisses, hands moving up and down along the delicious curve of his hyung, feeling his skin under the clothes. “But you already got red.”
Seokjin giggles, flustered and all shy. He tries to make a joke in order to save himself from the accusation. “How can I not get red if you make me ticklish-”
“Are you ticklish down there too?” Jeongguk jeers, a smirk on his face.
“Stop making fun of hyung,” Seokjin tries to push him off, but Jeongguk grabs his dainty wrists and pins them to the bed. “Jeongguk, no!”
“Jeongguk, yes,” he imitates, the small kisses impatiently growing and moving in directions. From his bare neck to his chin, to his beautiful philtrum, Jeongguk kisses Seokjin’s plushy lips –all hunger and with craze.
Seokjin whines, back already arching as a result of Jeongguk’s touches. It’s so easy to pin Seokjin to the bed, it’s so easy for Jeongguk to have his way with him. Seokjin is always too shy and powerless under Jeongguk.
“Fuck. Missed you so much.”
Jeongguk starts to undress Seokjin, in the need to feel him close, skin on skin. After peeling of every fabric separating them, Jeongguk leans back to feel the scenery under him –and everything crushes him when he sees Seokjin’s almond eyes glistening with love and affection and waiting, waiting for him to fuck him with those innocent eyes– Jeongguk feels the tight node on his stomach growing.
Seokjin is red starting from his ears to his beautiful, toned chest; his ethereal face already looking so damn messy like he just got fucked, and those applecheeks, turning into a bright pink with shyness. He covers himself with his milky, slim arms while getting observed, “What are you looking at?” he says, miffed, “Stop looking at me like that and just get on with it.”
“Hyung.” Jeongguk runs down his hands from his sides, feeling the skin goosebumping under his tattooed hands. Every inch of Seokjin is like a diamond. “You are so fucking beautiful.”
Seokjin bites his lips, averting his gaze with shyness. “Okay. I know.”
“You know, do you?” Jeongguk moves his hands upside down, taking a breath in between his teeth. “So precious. You are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. No one can come close to your beauty. I want to put you in a museum and stare at you all day..”
Seokjin’s ears go redder as if it’s possible; hearing these filthy words of admiration from his dongsaeng makes him sheepish. He acts like he hates it; but his naked, cute cock twitches uncontrollably; giving Jeongguk more ideas.
“Would you like the idea? I’m gonna put you in a museum, hyung, then I’m going to sit and jerk off at the sight of you. Even looking at you –seeing you like this- makes me so fucking hard, don’t you see?” He grabs the base of his cock, and it makes Seokjin so damn flustered that he starts to whine, like a little lamp, and tears dwell on his sparkly eyes. “S-stop talking like that.”
“Why? I adore you, baby, look at yourself. You belong to a god-damn museum. Your lips, fuck- I would want them wrapped around my cock if I wasn’t planning on fucking your slutty hole now.” Jeongguk jerks himself off a few times before lining himself to Seokjin’s heat, leaning to kiss the said lips with hunger.
Seokjin kisses him back, mouth parted and breaths itchy as he tries to keep up with Jeongguk’s hunger. He wraps his hands around Jeongguk’s neck and plays with the hair strands on his nape. Chest on chest, hearing their own heartbeats, and Jeongguk ruts his hard, leaking cock to Seokjin’s.
Seokjin moans, trying to keep up with the fraction, only to stop when Jeongguk firmly grabs his waist to put him in place. The skin caves in, and Jeongguk knows it’s gonna leave a bruise the next day. Seokjin’s skin has always been too delicate.
Jeongguk could slap his thigh jokingly and it would be purple like galaxies the next hour.
Seokjin backs away from the kiss with teary eyes and uneven breaths. “Fuck me already. Please. Fuck. Jeongguk, please.”
Jeongguk grins. “Time will come, baby, you said later, didn’t you?”
“Stop torturing me. I’m your hyung- Oh, oh, Jeongguk,” Seokjin cries as Jeongguk lines his cock to his entrance, slowly rubbing it on the skin. “Jeongguk, please,”
“Your everything is amazing hyung, I want to compliment you till my mouth is dry. I want to eat you out. You are so sweet, even your cock is just too-” Jeongguk wraps his hand around Seokjin’s twitching cock, so warm and hot under his hand. It leaks precum and Seokjin is more sensitive than ever when Jeongguk grabs his own cock along with it, rubbing them together and jerking off at the same time.
“Stop, stop, I’m gonna-” Seokjin wails, throwing his head back. “I’m gonna cum!”
Jeongguk doesn’t stop. “I want to undress you and then doll you up, show you off to the people. I want them to see how you belong to me. I want them to watch as only I get to touch you. Would you like that, yeobo, would you like me dolling you up, put make-up on you, make you wear frilly dresses and then fuck you in it? Would you like everyone seeing how useless your cock is?”
It’s so cute.
His hyung is so cute because he cries.
Tears fall from his small face; and he starts to sob from embarrassment. He can’t take compliments. He can’t.
Everytime Jeongguk tries to adore him, Seokjin gets so flustered that he cries.
(He didn’t complain about it though, so Jeongguk thinks his hyung likes it.)
“Oh, my baby,” Jeongguk coos, peppering soft kisses to his wet cheeks. “Your Jeongguk is gonna fuck you, don’t worry. Stop crying.”
He lines himself one more time, enough with torturing both of them. He slowly pushes in, both moaning with the slide.
“Fuck, fuck,” Jeongguk groans. “You are so tight. Fuckkk.”
“Ugh-” Seokjin throws his head back, black hair smearing around the pillow like little seaweeds. “So big, yo-you are so big, Jeongguk- fuck. Move. Move, don’t –don’t hold yourself.”
And Jeongguk does exactly that. He slowly pulls himself back, and pushes fully again. Seokjin is so tight and warm around him; surrounding him completely it’s like they are made for this. They are made for each other; two puzzle pieces complementing each other.
Jeongguk starts to fuck him, slowly at first and then rabbiting his hips in a constant move. It earns high moans from Seokjin, the older one’s words coming unclear after a time. Jeongguk can only differentiate, “You are so big, making hyung feel amazing, don’t stop, you are so strong,” and it pushes him to work harder, do better for his hyung.
He fucks Seokjin with so much wanton, so much hunger that it feels like the hotel bed is going to break. The clipboard hitting the walls over and over again, with every rhythm Jeongguk follows, with every moan they utter, it mixes with the squawking voice the bed makes. They are gonna be constraints tomorrow; and probably about a lecture to keep their tune down from Namjoon hyung, but in the heat of the moment, with Seokjin's skin on his, Jeongguk doesn't even care.
Jeongguk’s hands are sturdy on Seokjin’s soft skin, grabbing the tiniest waist to keep him place with the force of his thrusts. The bruises are already there; the little galaxies Jeongguk painted a week ago are still there; or the teeth marks that Seokjin made fun of him calling him a vampire. Seokjin’s skin is a canvas and Jeongguk is the painter.
As he fucks Seokjin, he can’t avert his gaze from Seokjin’s beautiful face. His hyung’s cheeks are a lovely shade of pink, and his mouth never closes, moans escaping one after another. Jeongguk grabs him tightly, and thrusts inside him; forcing Seokjin to take every inch of his girthy cock until he learns the shape of it. Seokjin moves on the bed like a ragdoll; motionless, out of breath, crying his eyes out and tummy hitching with intensity. He constantly whines, tears falling from his eyes like pearls. His legs are wrapped around Jeongguk’s waist, but they lose their strength over time because Jeongguk just fucks too hard.
“Fuck, you are amazing, hyung,” Jeongguk grumbles, “So tight for me, yeobo, so wet.”
“I- I try to be,” Seokjin jokes, but stops when Jeongguk hits just right. Realizing he found the spot, Jeongguk constantly aims for his prostate, gaining more and more ecstatic tunes from his hyung.
“I’m gonna cum, yeobo,” Seokjin wuthers, “G-gonna cum, b-baby,”
“You can cum, doll, show me how much you enjoy taking my cock.”
And Seokjin comes instantly. His lips part apart, face twitching, and he comes so hard it splashes over his rosy chest, making a mess everywhere. He starts to sob with the intensity, choking sounds escaping from his reddish lips.
Jeongguk can’t control himself anymore. Looking at Seokjin’s orgasming face is enough to make a man cum, and Jeongguk is no different. He comes inside Seokjin in between his thrusts; head falling on Seokjin’s chest, Seokjin’s hands on his hair, and he coaxes out his orgasm with swift motions. “Fuck. Fuck, hyung.”
They are both breathless.
Minutes pass by, Jeongguk’s heavy body on Seokjin’s, still inside the warm heat, and Seokjin caressing Jeongguk’s sweaty hair.
“Yeobo,” Jeongguk whispers, afraid to startle his hyung, when he realizes the hands on his hair doesn’t move anymore. He slowly pulls his body back off him, and sees that Seokjin’s eyes are closed. “You sleeping?”
“Hmm.” Seokjin grumbles, eyes hazily opening. “Tired. Sticky.”
Jeongguk laughs lightly. “Okay, baby, hyung is going to clear you.”
It earns almost a chuckle from Seokjin. Jeongguk slowly pulls out from Seokjin, they both groan with the slide. White, pearly, cum oozes from Seokjin’s heat and Jeongguk has the audacity to push it back inside with his tattooed fingers. Seokjin whines, legs twitching, “S-stop it now,”
Jeongguk leans in to kiss the inside of his leg. “Okay, okay, I was just trying to clean.”
He gets up from the bed, going to the shower to grab a towel. As he cleans his hyung, he can’t stop from leaning in to kiss his softly twitching tummy or milky legs from time to time. He caresses the skin, massages it, cleans his warm heat with extra care. And he dresses him with pink shorts from his closet and his own shirt. Jeongguk always likes it when Seokjin smells like him.
After he lies next to him, they stay silent for a while.
“I want breakfast in the morning,” Seokjin says, voice sleepy and so little, Jeongguk has to lean closer to hear it. “And a rose. I want roses.”
Jeongguk laughs. “Okay, yeobo. Roses. Breakfast. What else?”
“My game. I want my game open,” his pouty lips brush against Jeongguk’s naked skin. Seokjin snuggles towards the younger, warm and comfy under the duvet. “With snacks on the side.”
“Okay. What else?”
“And I want to be woken up with a kiss.”
“Oh. That’s the easiest part,” Jeongguk plants a soft kiss on his hair. “Where do you want the kiss?”
Seokjin smiles, burying his face towards Jeongguk’s neck. “Here,” he imitates the kiss, “And everywhere.”
“Okay. Here and everywhere.” Jeongguk softly whispers; he pulls Seokjin closer as if it’s possible; bodies not even an inch apart, legs tangled under the covers. “Here and everywhere. What else?”
Seokjin nods. “And I want…” he starts the sentence, but without even finishing, he drafts off, finding a peaceful sleep under the arms of his lover; and leaving thousands of options for Jeongguk to guess.
Jeongguk laughs, taking a deep breath of the sweet smell of the older –happy with yeobo on his arms, relaxed after a steamy sex, not worrying about anything else. There isn’t a need to. Jeongguk is living his life.
Pre-Seokjin and after-Seokjin.
Jeongguk’s life is just two stages.
And all his questions? It’s only wondering what his Seokjin wants.