Chapter Text
Puberty provides many changes to the body, hormones raging and personalities start to become more cemented. Most of the process involves genetics, features inherited from someone’s parents. However, there is a wildcard in the process as well, though “Wildcard” is also one of the classifications that can come from this development.
Based on how someone has lived their life, ways they’ve acted, how their personality develops, there could be an inherent dominance or submissiveness within them. It is very rare for someone to be on the extreme end, with switch classifications actually being the most common, at most the average person would be classified as a -leaning type. These traits lead to the development of a certain set of powers specific to the archetype they’ve grown into.
Typically, defining one’s classification is done through blood tests and brain scans, but some make more of a spectacle of it, such as hosting virtual reality games placing someone in specific circumstances and guessing their future archetype from there. Some are surprises, some aren’t.
Not everyone develops powers. Those known as “neutrals” don’t have any inclination towards dominance or submission, they do not develop any powers and they are also immune to the powers of those who had classifications. The latter is the main difference between a neutral and the classification of The Seeker, which some consider just a fancy word for a “late bloomer.”
Yoongi’s powers had already developed before taking a leap of faith and being signed to a bankrupted company in hopes of living out his dream in music producing. However, when he was required to fill out what his classification is, he repeated the same lie his parents told him to, “neutral.” He’s on medications that reduce the effects of his powers, even he doesn’t know what they are. When he came of-age and he got tested, his parents discussed it without him in the room and told him that it would be better for him not to know the truth. He trusted their judgement, but he can’t help but feel ashamed. He doesn’t remember what it was like when he was presenting, most people don’t, research suggests that it has something to do with the brain processing being in such a deep headspace for the first time. His parents won’t tell him the events that lead up to him being tested.
Based on how his parents were when he was growing up, he can only assume that he was classified as a sub. He was raised to view submission as weak, it wasn’t the correct way for a man to be. He’s certain they would’ve celebrated if he was classified as a dom, but there was no celebration, so he continues taking the suppressants and continues living life as a neutral.
The medications keep him in normal headspace, where powers are mostly dormant. He’s yet to be intimate with someone out of fear that he would still somehow slip into subspace and fully activate his abilities. Very few submissive classifications have admirable powers, while the Altar can heal their own wounds and the Devotee can activate a forcefield around their partners to keep them from harm, most submissive powers are some form of “becoming limp in the hold of someone else.” He can’t let himself become intimate enough with someone else to be that vulnerable, if he’s an Automaton or a Mannequin, he won’t be able to escape, he’ll either have to follow all of their orders or lose all of his defining features.
There was only one other guy in this Hip-Hop band he was teamed up with, someone who went by the stage name of Rap Monster, he and Namjoon didn’t quite get along at first. He was intimidating, to say the least. He had an ever-looming presence, and he wasn’t afraid to tell Yoongi his less-than-savory opinions on his work. Even though Yoongi was certain he didn’t like him, he still rarely left his side throughout the early months, especially so when it was just them in the dorm for a while. Despite him being younger than Yoongi, he was designated the leader and he used that power at any chance he could. He was only a year younger than Yoongi, reaching the age where his powers would start to show themselves.
Sure enough, after a few months of living together, Yoongi and another trainee arrived at the dorms to hear Namjoon screaming from the shared bedroom. Cautiously, the two approached the door and opened it, but the moment the other boy stepped inside, he was tackled to the ground. It frightened the two boys even more when it looked like it was a gust of wind that knocked him down, though the growling and snarling made it clear that Namjoon was hovering over the other boy.
Yoongi stayed with both Namjoon and the other boy at the hospital, he insisted on not leaving their sides until they were given the all-clear. The other trainee quit that day. He was clearly shaken by the experience, and Yoongi didn’t blame him.
Namjoon’s test came back with the status of a Huntsman. Yoongi wasn’t allowed in his hospital room with him, despite how much he wanted to be in there. It was clear that Namjoon wanted him in there with him too, because every time the door opened, he could hear him whining out his name. He was told to not leave Namjoon’s side until he returned to normal headspace in a week. That put a halt on band activities for a while, but that did lead to Yoongi officially being signed as the second member of the band, mostly due to fear that Namjoon would behave violently if they didn’t.
The next to join the team was a street dancer who just recently presented, he proudly introduced himself with his status when he first met Yoongi.
“I’m Hoseok,” he greeted the petrified pale man who didn’t expect someone to walk in on him changing, Hoseok seemed completely unbothered by that fact, “I’m a Tyrant. You are?”
“A neutral.” It was a well-practiced lie, so it was easy to repeat. That time, there was a bit of hesitance, but more-so from the embarrassing situation that it showed itself in.
He didn’t research what it meant to be a Tyrant, the name was already frightening enough, he expected the powers of that archetype to be intense, almost life-threatening.
Seokjin also already presented before joining, as he was older than Yoongi. With him being open to the company about being a Puppeteer, it made Yoongi a little uneasy. Marionette was one of the sub classifications that worried him, he was scared of what it could mean if that was his status. But as Seokjin made himself at-home with the other three men in the dorms, Yoongi felt more at-ease with him.
He was caring and he had a very parental way of behaving. Hoseok once made a comment about that when Seokjin made them all dinner to celebrate him being assigned as the official fourth member.
“Well, my top traits were master and caretaker.” Seokjin explained, “I actually kind of hope there isn’t someone else who joins who’s older than me.”
“Because you’re a dom and so you don’t wanna be bossed around?” Hoseok teased.
Seokjin chuckled, “No, well, yeah I guess there’s that,” he was the only one who was classified as a pure dom, while Namjoon and Hoseok were both classified as dom-leaning, “but more that I like taking care of people.”
“We better get some subs in this group, or a switch.” Namjoon commented, “I won’t know how we’ll function in an orderly manner if we’re three doms and a neutral.” he gestured towards Yoongi, “We’re only going to have one voice of reason among us whenever we need… to relieve some of our stress…”
Yoongi tried his best to hide his wince. He never thought about it until that point, the others would have to quench their instincts in some way. He was assured that the suppressants would keep him from dropping due to a lack of play, but the others don’t have that stopping them from losing control.
“I’m a switch,” Hoseok said, “not biologically or whatever, but I like submitting sometimes. I wouldn’t mind offering my services as a sub if any of you need it.”
Namjoon hummed, “I also don’t mind switching.” The two looked at the oldest in the room.
“No, I have to dom.” Seokjin said, there was still a smile on his face, “I’ve tried being the sub back in high school, before I presented, but even back then, my mind and body were screaming at me that it was just wrong.”
“Count me out.” Yoongi eventually mumbled after a few more minutes of all three staring at him.
“Are you afraid I’ll break you?” Namjoon asked, there was genuine concern in his voice, “I know I nearly broke Kunwoo’s back when I presented, but I know I can be gentle now, the-the doctors made it clear that I only lost control like that because I was presenting--”
“That has nothing to do with it, Namjoon-ah.” Yoongi lied, though the truth was that it only had a bit of influence over his hesitance. The fact that Namjoon easily overpowered someone slightly bigger than him, and it seems like the kid is only growing more and more as time goes on, was a little worrying, but it wasn’t the sole reason, “I just don’t think there’s much relief I could provide to you guys.” he picked at a hangnail on his finger, “Plus, we might get into trouble if we were to… with each other…”
“They can’t expect us to be able to soothe ourselves or routinely have a partner outside of the band.” Hoseok said.
“But we’re all guys.” Yoongi pointed out, it felt stupid to say even back then, but he never bothered to truly explore that aspect of himself because it was pointless when he couldn’t be intimate with someone like that anyway.
“And?” Seokjin said.
Yoongi panicked with the look in his eyes. “No, no, I don’t, I don’t have a problem with it, it’s just that, I don’t, the company may have a problem with it.” He tried to explain himself, he thought his concern was reasonable.
“Not all play is sexual.” Seokjin said, “I’ve done non-sexual play with people before. It’s just as rewarding, to me at least.”
“And I’m pretty sure there’s a social expectation that idol groups take care of each others’ urges in this matter.” Namjoon said, “At least, I was briefed that I would have to be prepared to take care of your needs and delegate care as the leader.”
Seokjin groaned, “But I want to delegate!” he complained.
“I’ll be sure to consult you on any decisions in the matter.” Namjoon promised, “I did my research on Puppeteers, I know you need to plan things out when it comes to this stuff or you’ll drop.”
He sighed in relief, “Thanks, Joon-ah,” he said, “you’re gonna be a great leader, I can tell already.”
Namjoon covered his face as it turned a deeper shade of red.
“Doms can drop?” Yoongi asked, mostly to himself, but the others at the table looked at him with slightly dumbfounded expressions. “Sorry, I never really had to learn any of this stuff.” he said, it wasn’t a complete lie.
“All classifications can, and some of us can even activate a separate set of powers when we do.” Namjoon answered, “If Jin-hyung drops while holding any of us, he’ll be physically attached to us and cannot let us go, even if he wanted to.”
“Sounds frightening.” Yoongi said without thinking it through.
“I had a drop before.” Hoseok shared, “Because we weren’t properly prepared for me to present, nothing went like we planned. Most Tyrants probably drop after presenting because of how chaotic and unpredictable it is.” He crossed his arms and slumped over, “The rest of my dance old crew said I was more irritable than normal.”
“Don’t Huntsmen become extremely violent when they drop?” Seokjin leaned over Namjoon, a look of concern on his face.
Yoongi stared at Namjoon with wide eyes, but he quickly looked away so that the others at the table wouldn’t notice. If he was already violent during presenting, he can’t imagine how much worse it could be if he were to drop.
That conversation still goes through Yoongi’s mind, worrying him about what would happen if any of them were to drop and he’s the only one around. With them still believing he’s a neutral, they probably don’t expect him to provide a lot for them, but he still thinks they expect something from him.
The next to join them in their group was just a kid, he still had around three or so years before he either presented, or he would be a neutral. He was a shy and quiet kid, but Yoongi saw how he looked at Namjoon. He looked at him as if he were the most incredible person in the whole world. He knew exactly how the kid felt about him after one conversation they had a few months after he was officially assigned as another member.
“Hyung?” Jungkook said, knocking on the door to their shared studio, “Can, can we talk?” he stutters.
Yoongi took off his headphones and turned in the chair, facing the door. “Of course, come on in.” He waved his hand for Jungkook to step closer.
He did, taking slow steps and closing the door behind him. “I-I need advice from someone who is clear-headed, someone who won’t have any sort of bias or anything, I… I need to speak to a neutral.” he said.
Yoongi scratched at his fingers as he nodded, “Yeah, yeah… what could I possibly help you with, though?” It was easy to be a neutral in society, there wasn’t any expectations set upon someone, but being perceived as a neutral also meant that others rarely sought for someone like that when it comes to advice.
“What if I’m the wrong kind of sub?” Jungkook blurted out, then covered his mouth, hiding his embarrassed expression the best he could, “I-I mean, if, if I’m the kind that… no one wants. Or, or if I’m incompatible with a… a… Huntsman…” he whispered the last word, “Or, or if I’m a neutral, like you. Does he like you? Could he like me if I turn out like you?”
“Kook, slow down a bit, alright.” Yoongi said, “Take a seat, please, don’t pass out on me.” He gestured to the couch opposite of the desk where their equipment laid. “Kookie, I’ll be entirely honest with you… Namjoon and I still don’t get along well. But I assure you, that doesn’t say anything about what he’d think of you in the future, no matter what happens.” he kept a smile on his face, “I don’t think you have to worry about being the ‘wrong’ sub, because they’re all equally worthless.”
Jungkook made a high-pitched sound, straightening his back, “What?”
Yoongi leaned back in the office chair given to them for the room, “Sub powers basically equate to being weak and useless.” he continued, “The best you can hope for is to be a switch, a dom or a neutral. Because if you turn out to be a sub, you might as well kiss the idea of free-will goodbye.”
Jungkook’s leg stopped bouncing as his body became visibly tired. “Oh…” he said, “I… I didn’t think about that.”
“Namjoon would probably love you no matter what kind of sub you are, because there really isn’t a difference between any of them.” Yoongi said, hoping that at least the first part of the sentence would ease some of Jungkook’s nerves, “If you’re a sub, Namjoon will use you how he sees fit. If you’re a neutral, that doesn’t mean it’ll be impossible for him to love you. If you’re a switch, he’ll respect you and love you, no matter the position either of you are in. And if you’re a dom, he’ll see you as an equal. No matter what, Namjoon will see something in you, but… I’d still hope you’re not a sub, that way whatever feelings develop between you two are formed out of mutual respect and not a biological instinct to control you.”
He ignored Jungkook’s quivering lips at the time, he didn’t look into his eyes long enough to see them water.
“Thanks, hyung…” he stood up, “You’re right… I should take more control in my life. Maybe I can still change things and not end up a sub in the future.” he said and left the room.
Taehyung hadn’t presented yet when he joined the group either, but he was reaching the age where he might. It wasn’t that long after that their last member was signed as well. Jimin hadn’t presented yet either. He and Taehyung were born the same year, they were probably also set to present around the same time.
Taehyung and Jimin got along worse than Yoongi and Namjoon did when they were first starting out. They fought constantly and were always on each others’ nerves. Namjoon got the bright idea to lock them in the studio and tell them that they were not allowed to leave until they worked things out.
His timing couldn’t have been worse.
Hoseok was the first to hear the ruckus happening in the room, followed by the shouting and screaming. Yoongi had heard those kinds of screams before and panic rose in him as well. The two rushed to the door, but Yoongi pulled Hoseok back when he reached for the handle.
“Namjoon nearly killed us when we interrupted him presenting, we need to be careful.” he warned him. Hoseok nodded as an answer.
Yoongi slowly turned the door handle, carefully making sure that they didn’t make a noise as they opened the door. However, Jimin’s voice was loud and clear.
“Can’t you just speak like a normal person? Your whiny voice is grating my ears! If you want to act like a baby, I’ll treat you like one!”
“I’m not a baby!” Taehyung shouted back, “Why do you always have to make me feel like garbage? At least I’m not so miserable and insecure that I have to make others hate themselves so I feel better!”
“You don’t know anything about me!”
“Neither do you about me!” he gripped onto his stomach and started to pant, “My body is on fire! Make it stop!”
Jimin grabbed his shoulders and slammed him onto the grey, hard couch in their small studio. “I want to tear my limbs off, but you don’t hear me complaining like a whiny little bitch!” He wrapped his hands around Taehyung’s neck, but didn’t press down.
Taehyung let out a violent sob. Hoseok folded in on himself, clutching his stomach as he fell onto one knee in the doorway. Yoongi himself felt a slight tingle go up and down his spine.
Jimin had it the worst of the three of them. He tumbled forward, screaming out in pain and his nails dug into the couch, ripping it as he tried to keep himself stable. He started crying, not as loud as Taehyung was, but still at an almost inhuman volume.
“You’re the worst! I hate you!” Taehyung screamed, voice cracking with his sobbing, “You’re mean! You’re awful!”
“At least I have worth in this band!” Jimin screamed back, “You’re so worthless to us that no one even knows who you are! The company is hiding you because they know you’ll be nobody’s favorite!”
Taehyung kicked him, “No one’s going to love the ugly duckling either!”
Jimin held onto his head as he began trembling. “Stop it!” he screamed, “Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!” he repeated as he smacked Taehyung’s chest.
With shaking legs, Hoseok stood up and took slow, long steps towards the fighting 18 year olds. He pulled Jimin off of Taehyung, sending him to the floor instead. The small man covered his eyes and started wailing. Yoongi broke free from the fear-induced paralysis to take his phone out and call the ambulance.
Hoseok reached up to hug Taehyung, holding him in a very tight hug as the kid sobbed.
The sounds alerted almost the entire building, at least the rest of the group started approaching the scene from behind Yoongi. Seokjin pushed his way through and ran to cover a crying Jimin, guiding him into his chest and whispering things Yoongi couldn’t hear to him.
Over the phone, Yoongi shared that they had two 18 year old boys who were presenting, and that the scene was turning violent. It was much worse than when Namjoon was presenting. He turned to face the leader, who stood next to him with a contorted expression.
“You’re lucky you’re a neutral…” Namjoon whispered, knowing that Yoongi was looking at him, despite how he never turned to address him directly.
“Yeah… real lucky to witness two violent presentations in two years.” Yoongi responded.
“Jimin-ah isn’t having an effect on you.” Namjoon said, “My stomach is turned over and I want to vomit… but I have to keep it together.”
The jolt of pain that went through Yoongi’s back at the first sob. His father had the ability to cause others pain, he always chalked the times he felt it to be superficial, caused more by his own emotions, and he was even more thankful for the suppressants. It would’ve been a disaster if he was as affected by the events that played out in front of them as his bandmates. But from that point on, he knew he could never be intimate with someone. The suppressants diminished the effects of others’ powers, but they didn’t make him immune. He could still be brought into subspace if pushed enough.
Like last time, Yoongi was insistent on staying with his dongsaengs at the hospital. After an hour or so waiting outside their room, the doctor stepped out and told him to stand.
“Are you family?”
Yoongi shook his head, “But neither of their families live here, I’m kinda… the closest they’ve got, both metaphorically and geographically.” he scratched at the back of his ear.
The doctor sighed, “Classmate? Coworker?”
“Coworker.” Yoongi answered, “I was the one who called them in.” He tried his best to sound more sure of himself as the conversation continued, “I was also here for a patient named Kim Namjoon when he presented. They wouldn’t allow me in the room with him, but I need to be in there with them this time.” The doctor responded with a raised eyebrow. “I’m a neutral. I won’t be affected by their abilities. Please, I’ve been living with them for around four months now, I need to make sure they’re alright.”
The doctor caved. He held the door open for Yoongi to follow him in. Jimin and Taehyung sat on separate hospital beds, both in white gowns and IV bags in their arms. Taehyung still had drying tear stains down his cheeks.
“Park Jimin,” the doctor approached the small, black-haired boy, whose cheeks were puffed out due to his body swelling and the deep frown on his face, “Here are your results.” he handed him a paper from his clipboard, “You’ve been classified as a pure dom, a Corrupter. That means you can change the self-image of your playmates. In a rarity, you have two 100% matches for your top two traits, brat tamer and degrader.”
Jimin’s wide eyes looked up from the paper, then he strained his head to look past the doctor and at Taehyung. The other young boy was still visibly shaking. Yoongi watched as Jimin’s eyes began tearing up again, but he tried to hide it behind a nod and a hum. Anger ran through Yoongi as the doctor ignored his clearly disheveled mental state, turning around to approach Taehyung.
“And Kim Taehyung, here are yours,” he handed the boy another piece of paper. With trembling hands, Taehyung took it, but he didn’t read it. He kept his eyes on the floor beside the doctor’s feet. “Your classification has been identified as the Exchange, a switch classification. That means you have two separate sets of powers, and they’re activated based on the status of your playmate.” Yoongi worried, a switch has two classifications that they can switch between, and with the rest of the group being doms, he worried that Taehyung’s dominant side wouldn’t be allowed to show itself. “Like your friend over there, your dom classification is the Corrupter, you share that power. Your sub classification is the Wreckage, that means your emotional reactions trigger physical sensations in your playmates.”
That explained why everyone else was in so much pain when Taehyung was crying, but why was Namjoon so convinced it was Jimin causing them pain? The doctor then told Taehyung that his top two traits were pet and owner, but then he left the room without another word. That left Yoongi in a rage, leaving two emotionally unstable teenagers without comfort, especially after such a traumatic experience.
“I’m sorry.” Jimin began crying again, “I’m so, so sorry. I didn’t mean anything I said. I don’t think you’re worthless.” He stood up and dragged the IV bags with him as he walked the short distance of their beds. “Please, listen to me. You’re not worthless. You are valued. You have an incredible voice, and it will only get better with time.” He took a hand to Taehyung’s cheek to force him to look him in the eyes, “Please, forgive me.”
Taehyung sniffled. “Hyung,” he called for Yoongi, “he’s dropping.”
Yoongi startled into a stiff position. “You’re certain?”
“I’m coming out of it right now…” Taehyung said, “I just read the information here about Corruptors…” he took Jimin’s hand, still on his cheek, “I am valued.” he repeated Jimin’s words.
Yoongi slowly approached. He took the paper from Taehyung’s lap to read it. He pointed at the line about a Wreckage’s drop, “Is this why everyone was in so much pain earlier? It says that Wreckages cause physical pain to their partners when they drop.”
Taehyung shook his head, “My drop is under the information about the Exchange.” he glanced at Yoongi, “But you’re a neutral. I need you to be dominant-presenting for a bit, for Jimin’s sake. I can’t… I can’t be a dom with him to help him out or I’ll drop again. Please.”
“What?” Yoongi froze again, “I-I don’t know how to… I’m not, I can’t. I don’t know the first thing about…” he pulled his phone out, “I-I’ll call for the others. Your hyungs are all doms too, one of them should be able to help.”
“I feel sick.” Jimin commented.
“I forced you into subspace with my drop. I’m so sorry.” Taehyung said. Yoongi read the line about his switch classification’s drop, which would swap the classification of his partner(s), but playing the same classification as his partner is what causes him to drop in the first place. Jimin’s physical aggression forced Taehyung’s mind to counter it with his own abilities as a Corrupter, and because Taehyung couldn’t piece himself back together in time, Jimin dropped after hearing that he caused Taehyung to view himself as worthless.
Seokjin answered the phone.
“We have a situation.” Yoongi said, unsure how else to begin, “It’s… a lot has gone wrong. Taehyung was forced to use his dominant powers when he wanted to use his submissive powers due to Jimin being a dom, which caused him to drop, which then caused Jimin to momentarily swap classifications into a sub, and now he’s in subdrop because he used his powers to make Taehyung view himself as unlovable and he couldn’t put himself back together in time, and so all of the self-image issues he put on Taehyung are being reflected back onto him, but instead of domdrop, he’s in subdrop because of Taehyung’s drop.” he was lucky he’s a rapper, because he managed to get all of that relayed to his only hyung in one breath. “We need a dom here to take care of it. One of your top traits is caretaker, right? You should be able to handle this, right?” he tried not to let too much of his panic show through his voice.
“Wait, wait, I’m on my way.” Seokjin responded, “What are their classifications?”
“They’re both Corruptors, but Taehyung is an Exchange, his sub classification is a Wreckage. Jimin is a pure dom, like you.” Yoongi answered.
He can hear the sound of Seokjin getting into his car through the phone. “Shit, Jimin’s a pure dom being forced into subspace? Good thing he’s already at the hospital.”
Thankfully, Seokjin showed up before things could get worse. He carefully led Jimin back to his hospital bed. He grabbed both papers to look over their aftercare notes. He assumed that his aftercare response must’ve been switched with a Wreckage’s as well, considering that if Taehyung simply piecing himself back together would bring Jimin out of his drop, he would’ve been out of his drop by now. Instead, Seokjin had Jimin build himself back together, made him repeat words of affirmation about a positive self-worth.
Jimin and Taehyung have been inseparable since the incident. Namjoon got some condescending words of praise at how his plan did technically work, just not the way anyone wanted it to. They came to the conclusion that them presenting together is what made their classifications match, which led to them joking about being soulmates because of it. Namjoon and Hoseok had to get extra testing done due to Taehyung’s abilities to switch his partners’ classifications. While Seokjin and Jimin were pure doms, they would be forced into a Wreckage’s subspace if Taehyung were to drop playing with them, but Namjoon and Hoseok were both dom-leaning, they had their own submissive headspaces they could be brought into with his powers.
Namjoon was informed of his secondary status as a Hellion, meaning he would be able to teleport if ever brought into subspace. Hoseok’s secondary classification was identified as the Feral, he would develop animalistic characteristics if brought into subspace. He seemed a little curious about that. Before, even though he offered to sub for Namjoon or Seokjin if they needed him to, he was still a little hesitant to follow up on that offer. After being tested again, he seemed a little more excited at the possibility. Namjoon was completely neutral about it, he didn’t showcase any strong disappointment or excitement at his secondary classification.
Yoongi tried to mend some of his relationships with the others in response. He saw the worst possible outcome of what could happen if he continued this animosity towards the others. He spent his life since presenting putting up a wall and not letting others get too close, but he needs the others to trust him, and he needs to learn to trust the others. Not enough to stop taking his suppressants, but enough that he can be as affectionate with them as they’re starting to be with each other. Jungkook has been keeping his distance though. The kid has also been trying to be extra macho, trying to keep a stone-cold expression, like Yoongi does. He almost feels bad for instilling such a fear in him, but he knows it’s for his own good.
He expected as much when they signed Hoseok up for the group, but he was also informed of the group’s status as an idol group instead of a hip-hop one. He was promised he wouldn’t have to dance, then they immediately hired a locally popular street dancer. A street dancer who didn’t know how to rap.
Hoseok approached him about them teaching each other. Yoongi took the opportunity, hoping it could ease some of their nerves around him and ease his own in return. Hoseok suggested they go to B-boying classes together.
They were fun. Yoongi still isn’t the biggest fan of dancing, but he doesn’t mind moving around with Hoseok. The guy has such a contagious smile. He’s consistently been the most friendly with Yoongi. Since that New Year’s night where Yoongi stayed with him instead of going home to his parents, Hoseok has been vocally fond of the slightly older man. For Yoongi, it was an easy decision: stay with his parents over the holidays and have them try to convince him to leave the dreams of music behind, and hear their discussions about submissives in society, or stay at the dorm with someone he barely knows.
Watching Hoseok move was also a highlight of his day. Yoongi wouldn’t consider it an exaggeration to say that Hoseok is the best damn dancer he’s ever known. He also couldn’t deny that Hoseok teaching him was making his body spark. Every time Hoseok’s hands rearranged his body, he felt at peace. He didn’t want him to let go of him. He didn’t want to move on his own. He wanted to stay still and simply let Hoseok guide him around. The man also got better at rapping under Yoongi’s guidance, and he loved watching him improve, but he was also sad. Him improving meant there would be a point where he didn’t need him anymore. At least, if he continued to pretend to be horrible at dancing, Hoseok would still be forced to spend time with him in close proximity. But if he pretended too well, he could get kicked from the band.
He caught the attention of others at their B-boying events. Whenever he let himself show his true skill, under the refinement of the man who consistently made his heart flutter, he got cheers and praise from the others. After a round of Yoongi actually trying, more than one person would approach with an affirming pat on his back, a smile, and a word of praise at how incredible he looked. He continuously brushed every bit of praise off, not wanting everyone to know how much he craved it. After a whole life of being convinced he wasn’t worthy of love, made even more abundant by the lack of respect his family gave him after he presented, any words of encouragement made him feel like the butterflies in his stomach could burst out.
When others tell him how to move, when they guide his body around, they mistake his stiffness as him being uncomfortable, but that was far from the truth. He wanted it, craved it. It was always like that. Anything someone wanted, he would provide, and he was never an active person. There was a part of him that knew, deep down, that if he didn’t actually enjoy any of this, his classification would be different. A part of him knew that trying to hide it meant being a completely different person. He felt safe whenever Namjoon hovered over him, he wanted to stop moving on his own whenever Hoseok rearranged his body, and he enjoyed being able to completely follow Seokjin’s orders without scrutiny because he was his only hyung. Sometimes, he even considered going off his medication and telling them the truth. He started thinking that it really wouldn’t be so bad to give in to his instincts.
“And you’re absolutely certain that this is what you want to do?” his father asked him over dinner one night. It was only eight or nine months before they debut, Yoongi had been shaking with nerves for a while due to it.
“I am.” Yoongi answered.
“It’s going to be difficult.” his mom said, “They all still think you’re a neutral right?”
Yoongi nodded, “Yeah… about that…” he refused to look at his parents’ faces, worried about the look of disgust that would show on them, “I was actually thinking about coming clean to them, at least to the rest of the band.”
“No.” his dad said, “Absolutely not.”
“You’re putting yourself in unnecessary danger.” his mom added, “Do you have any idea what they could do to you if they ever found out? There aren’t a lot of submissives in the idol industry, or any workplace environment, and those who are aren’t respected by the majority of their peers.”
“So I am a sub?” he finally looked at his parents to see his mom’s guilty expression as she looked away, “Could you please, at least, tell me what I am?”
“We’ve been over this.” His father said, “It’s better for you to not know.”
“I can take care of myself.” Yoongi argued, “But I can’t do that if I don’t even know how to protect myself, I don’t know what I’m capable of, I don’t know how my body will react if pushed into that kind of headspace. I need to be prepared. Please?”
“The suppressants should take care of that.” his mom said.
“They don’t make it impossible for me to slip, I can feel everyone’s powers, just to a much lesser degree. With enough push, I could activate mine completely.” he explained, “I was affected by Tae-yah and Jiminie’s powers when they presented. Not as badly as the others, but I felt it.”
“Then you need a stronger dosage.”
“No.” Yoongi said, “I need to know what I am.”
“Yoongi,” his mom glared at him, “you are the only sub in this family, and that reflects on us too. I would’ve pushed you harder if I knew you’d disappoint me like this.”
“I’m just--”
“Do not raise your voice!” his father’s voice boomed, despite the fact that Yoongi did not raise his voice even a little. A sharp pain sliced through Yoongi’s chest and he held his heart in response. His father had never been good at controlling his ability, he wished he didn’t have a Crucible for a father. “Do you really think your bandmates will look at you the same way if they were to find out? Do you think the company would keep you if they found out? They won’t. They’ll just use you, because that’s all subs are good for in this world.”
He knew that. That’s why he told Jungkook to be cautious. That’s all he ever heard his entire life. “But what if they’re different…?” He voiced his thoughts out loud.
“You can’t take that risk.” His mom approached him, “Take it from me, being a neutral is far better than being a sub. I really did try to raise you right, I hoped and prayed that you would, at the very least, be like me.”
“But--”
“Enough.” His father’s eyes met his and it caused a headache to spark, but it dissipated quickly, “If you go public with this, I will have no choice but to respond publicly as well, and to denounce you as my son. I will not have your weakness taint my reputation, and you shouldn’t let it taint the reputation of your band. It would be a selfish thing to do, to ruin their potential careers because you weren’t man enough to take charge in your life.”
Yoongi stayed quiet. They’ve had these conversations before, but never with their words directed towards him. He was right, he couldn’t do that to the others. He couldn’t be open about his classification without it reflecting on the others, on the company. He thought about sharing it after they debut, when it was too late to kick him out, but he’s seen news about subs being kicked out of idol groups after presenting. They could still kick him out if he were to come clean after debut. Then he started to worry about Jungkook. If the kid did present as a sub, he would be kicked out. Maybe it was better to continue hiding. Maybe Jungkook could still save himself.
Just eight more months, and he’d prove that his dreams of making music were worth pursuing. Little did he know, the following month would lead up to the worst event of his life.