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Eva route but better

Summary:

Eva route but writen by someone who analyzed the characters thoroughly and percisely and spicely

Notes:

I really did thoroughly analyze all of hundred line for this, it is my favourite video game ever. And I feel like this route had a few things missing. So i fixed it. Please enjoy your read.

Work Text:

It was usually laid back, but lately, Takumi had been pushing training onto everyone more intensely. It was getting tiring. It was suspicious, but no one said a thing. Evidently, that was for worse, as one morning in the cafeteria, Takumi was enraged. It was a roar, making everyone cower, breaking glass. "I HATE ALL OF YOU!" His voice was feirce, though it didn't wake a soul. As everyone was rest asleep in the cafeteria. Reaching inside his pocket, he pulled out a gun, and shot them all.

They were all dead. All of them. Takumi couldn't care less, as he walked over their bodies like he owned the place. Apathetic to the place, he left. Finding Eva, he instantly fell in love. It was love at first sight. Eva loved him too, but Vex didn't accept that.

"Get your hands off her!" Vex declared war.

"No!" Takumi Obligated.

"Boys boys calm down and have a rap battle for me!" Eva offered, and they both took it.

Vex's rap segment was below mediocre, and as a result, Takumi shot her. "That was so bad." He cried, as if it were assault on his very ears.

With Vex being delt with, Vex's army took her place. They all shot at them but Takumi was invincible. "You shoot me down," He sang, "But I get up..." They shot once more. "I am titanium!"

Then Takumi and Eva escaped. Though Sirei stood in their path. "Shion look at this, son!!"

A strange boy with flames engulfing him stood. It was safe to assume he was the thing's son. "Yes father, I see! Is this what hetero norms are? I love learning!"

"Shion use firebreath!" Sirei demanded.

As if Shion had no control over his body, he did as told.

Takumi took out his gun, but it had no ammo left. In desperation, Eva bolted infront of him and started drinking the fire.

"Woah you can do that!?" Takumi said in amazement.

"Yes... I was sent to an all ice breathing school, so it's one of my biggest insecurities. I'm glad you like it." Eva said with a smile.

"I can breathe air!" Takumi excitedly exclaimed, "Yaaay!"

They bonded over the topic as they walked off into the sunset, though Sirei and Shion still stood in their path. They had left Shion devoid of any flames, in which he couldn't breathe without. That form of him had died.

"Shion look at this, son!!" Sirei had exclaimed once more.

"Goo goo gaga." A fetus, Shion, responded. Translated to "Yes father, is this what hetero norms friendship is like? I love friendship. I hope to become friends with them!"

To defeat them once and for all, Eva ate Shion, and Takumi ate Sirei.

As they escaped, they found ventured out. They found the outside world was a desert. They got fat and their clothes didn't fit them anymore so they found a cave with dead people in it and took their raggy clothes. And Eva was pregnant with baby Shion, since she forgot to chew.

"We have got to get an abortion I'm not doing that!" Takumi spoke with a gentle smile.

"Yes!" Eva happily agreed.

As they ventured on, they found Eito's burnt down hospital. Going inside, they see Eito.

"What!?" Takumi rightfully spoke in confusement, as he killed Eito alongside everyone else.

"Takumi, I was only pretending to be dead, you see? I'm made of titanium! Now we can be together forever! I love you! Takumi Takumi! I'm titanium too! Love and peace!"

"No!" Takumi spoke in disgust, maybe even homophobia. He pulled out his titanium gun and shot Eito.

Eito, on his last breathe, spoke his last words. "Of course I was being sincere! Couldn't you tell? I love you, Takumi! Love and Peace! How unfortunate and tragic that things had to end like this!"

Though Takumi was pregnant too, since he forgot to chew Sirei. Eito came back alive and killed Eva.

"Takumi! Takumi!" Eito gleefully spoke. "I was only pretending to be dead, you see? Now we can be together forever! I love you! I'm titanium 2! Love and peace!"

As much as Takumi didn't want to, he wouldn't be able to take care of baby Sirei by himself so he married Eito and they grew up happily and took care of baby Sirei.