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Valentino was a man used to getting his way. But when his Vees finally sat across from his new lover Angel for the first time, he could not have been more displeased.
“....this is Angel?” Velvette wrinkled her nose, unimpressed.
“What were you expecting?” Angel crossed his arms defensively.
“Someone hotter,” Vox curled his lip.
“Less trashy,” said Velvette.
“More-” Vox was cut off by Val.
“Oye, shut the fuck up,” Val put a protective arm around Angel. “You’re supposed to be making a good impression on him too.”
“We are?” Velvette’s brows shot up.
“You fucking better, brujita,” Val growled.
“Off to a pretty fucking crap start,” Angel jutted his chin.
“I’m sorry Val, I just…. This? This is the guy who’s got your heart all tied up like a dying bunny in a snare?” Vox gestured vaguely.
“Yup,” said Val stubbornly.
Velvette rolled her eyes conspicuously. “Nice to meet you. Angel Dust, was it?”
“Yeah,” sighed Angel, shaking her hand.
“Really classy name,” said Vox snidely. “Did you come up with it yourself, or is it a family heirloom?”
“Vox,” hissed Val.
“It was a compliment!”
“Yeah sure,” grumbled Angel. “How’d your mom push that big square head outta her vagina?”
“Angel!” Val snapped.
“He started it!”
“A “your mom” joke? Neither smart, nor funny,” drawled Vox.
“Poor kitten, he’d drown without you, Val,” said Velvette.
“I’ll have you know–”
Their server arrived. “Can I get everyone started with some drinks?”
“Can I get a porn star martini?” asked Angel.
“I’ll have a sex on the beach.” said Val.
“Top shelf scotch, neat. Whatever's expensive.” Vox waved a hand.
“French 75,” Velvette was checking her phone.
“Voxxy, order some apps, I’m hungry,” said Val, menu untouched.
“Stuffed mushrooms, bacon wrapped figs, and pancetta crostinis,” Vox responded cooly.
“I’ll have that right out,” the server smiled.
“So, Angel Dust,” said Velvette as the server walked away, “What are your intentions with our Val?”
“Intentions?” cackled Angel. “What is this prom night? Val, you didn’t tell me.”
“Well we’re just very protective of our Valentino,” Vox folded his hands on the table.
“Awwww Voxxy, look at you, going all papo on me.”
“Well, I’m down for whatever, kinda,” said Angel, shooting a glance at Val
“We aren’t putting any labels on things right now,” said Val smoothly. “But it’s serious.”
“Oh, good,” Vox’s laugh was almost a scoff.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Angel’s voice was terse.
“It’s good he’s not committing anything to a cheap thing like you.”
“What the fuck?” Val’s shout was so loud the other tables turned to look.
“Val,” hissed Velvette.
“I’ll be quiet when you tell me what the fuck makes you think you get to treat my boyfriend like that!”
Vox looked at Angel, who seemed stunned. “Hey look, you got a promotion!”
“Vox,” growled Valentino.
“It was a compliment!”
“I swear to fucking god–”
“You’ll be over him in a month, Val.” said Velvette. “We have a whole afterlife together, I can’t remember every month’s new twink.”
“I’ve never brought anyone around like this before!”
“You bring them all around.”
“That’s not true! Not to sit down like this - not where you ask about his intentions!”
“Which were mid as fuck, by the way.”
“Don’t you start–” Angel leaned over towards her. Val cordoned him off.
“You wanna see a mess, bitch?”
“Look Val, he’s tawdry.” Vel responded
“What?! It’s been ten fucking minutes!”
“Fifteen,” said Vox.
“That accent? Fucking tacky.” said Vel.
“You have an accent,” sniped Angel.
“Vel’s accent is hot.” Vox sipped his drink.
“It’s giving urchin.” Velvette somehow looked down her nose at him from below.
“The mafia shit is so 20th century,” Vox agreed. “He looks like he should be wearing a bowler hat.
“He’s gangly!” she proceeded. “How many elbows do you even have?”
“Six.” Angel manifested his third pair of arms.
“He’s all elbows!”
“Scraggly,” Vox shook his head.
“Are you saying you couldn’t make him into the toast of hell?” Val glared.
“Oh I COULD,” said Vel. “My point is, why go to all that trouble? What’s so great about him?”
“Come on putas, his body is MADE of sin. We’re lucky he got sent to this ring and not Lust! He’s slender and delicate, has infinite hands that are all very talented, he’s flexible as a gymnast and strong as one too, and he has dual genitals!”
“VAL!” Angel snapped.
“Dual genitals?” Velvette raised her brows and began to laugh.
“Why didn’t you say so!?” exclaimed Vox with a guffaw. “That explains everything.”
“Say no more poppet,” Velvette smirked. “I’ll doll up your little fucktoy. Make him presentable.”
“That’s not WHY.” Val’s frown deepened.
“Sure it is baby,” Vox leaned back in his chair smugly.
“Well it was nice to meet your friends, Val,” Angel began to stand up.
“It’s because I love him!” Val blurted.
“....You what?” Vox and Vel looked at him.
“I love him.”
Vox and Vel paused and looked at each other. Angel sat back down.
“Oh,” he said quietly.
“Why?” asked Vox derisively.
“He’s– He makes me see the world in color.” Heat rose visibly in Val’s cheeks. “He makes me want to be a better person. He’s exciting even when he’s boring. I could listen to him talk all day. Every room I’m in is darker without him.”
Vox and Vel seemed stupefied. They looked at each other. Angel reached over to take Val’s hand and squeezed it.
“Um….. okay….” Vox looked lost.
“Cool,” said Velvette skeptically.
“So you two better stop treating him like shit, because you’re stuck with him.” Val turned to look at Angel. “If he still wants me after this shitshow of a night.”
“Of course I do, dummy,” Angel’s smile was soft as he kissed him.
After a long pause Vox raised his glass, defeated. “To the toast of hell.”
The others echoed and drank. Velvette pulled out her calendar on her phone and began to schedule Angel for a fitting without prompting. Val sat back and smiled. He always got his way.