Chapter Text
It felt like the entire room was closing in on her as she ventured into the lobby with a tremble in her step. As she did so, she instinctively shut her eyes tightly in a feeble attempt to block out the noise and chatter around her, as if cutting out the world would rid her of the university's unfamiliar loudness. However, neglecting her sight only worsened her sensitivity to the noise, forcing her to focus more on the conversations around her. She relented and reopened them with a sigh.
Li Tianxi wasn't sure she was making the right decision by enrolling here. Well, it was partly because it wasn't her decision to begin with... but if it meant doing so alongside her twin brother, she'd learn to adjust.
It'd been a while since she set foot in an academic environment, and it was never a place as large as a university. From what she remembered, her middle school hadn't been accommodating to her being mute, and she couldn't imagine this place being any better at addressing her concerns. Most of her classmates weren't patient with her quietness and inability to respond in time, so it wasn't easy to befriend people, much less participate in class without fumbling and making yet another mistake in front of everyone.
Li Tianchen always reassured her that she was capable of doing things like everyone else. She questioned whether that was true, though, considering test scores were what mattered. She didn't do well with the rigid study system that students seemed confined by, feverishly working for a highly limited chance of admission to the C9 universities. She didn't even dream of it: Li Tianxi wasn't compatible with memorizing things — they had to "make sense" on her terms, or else she just couldn't study it.
It wasn't like she didn't have her strong suits: Li Tianxi did well with more visual questions and subjects related to the arts... well, as long as it didn't involve too much writing. She didn't learn things like others did, and she stopped talking at all after a certain age. Her mother had towed her from psychologists to sketchy doctors in hopes of a "cure", but that had been futile. All of her teachers acted like she was a hopeless case.
And both twins struggled with having vague things like the future in mind, honestly. It always felt like they'd been clinging to survival, even when they became young adults, so the prospect of enrolling in university was foreign to them. They'd gotten lucky enough getting admission to this liberal arts university, and only after the twins spent countless nights on the gaokao exam… although she didn't want to remember how bad that was. She had already had to retake it twice due to her low performance in reading and math, so the two enrolled a year later than most.
The central reason she had been able to get through junior high was that her brother refused to leave her side, serving as a communicator and her sole friend. She felt bad about it. She purposely took an alternate route to high school, too, which was a mostly online setup that didn't cost much. Although a part of her choice to do so was because of her own need for isolation, admittedly. And the online school would allow her to work without needing to talk to people.
"Are you sure you don't wanna look into a high school for special ed?" Li Tianchen asked her about it near the end of junior high, when they were deciding what to do next. They had to properly apply to a secondary school first, and Li Tianxi's grades weren't looking good, much less her ability to function in a regular school setting. "…Mom mentioned she wanted that for you eventually, didn't she?" He added the last sentence as more of an afterthought, a bitter look on his face. He didn't mention their parents too often these days. It was too painful to remember.
Li Tianxi wavered a little in her expression. The truth was that, yes, it might be easier on her to find a school that understood her needs.
But the money was an issue. They were relying on the remaining funds in their accounts, and they had been a perfectly average family living in a cramped apartment, barely making ends meet. And that guy wouldn't be helpful for something like this... There wasn't a lot they could spend, and Li Tianxi knew her brother would probably do something sacrificial, like get a part-time job in his second year, despite how much he was already doing for her.
She shook her head no.
Li Tianchen's frown deepened. His eyes flashed with stubbornness, although they were undeniably gentle at the same time. It was the way he always was with her, even with his short temper. "You're worrying about me too much. We can figure it out, you know? Or maybe find a high school that's better with this. You don't have to deny yourself things."
She had shaken her head even more and then lifted her hands in front of her. They were tremoring as she signed, [I'm okay. I'm fine with this.]
There were multiple other reasons why. She just didn't feel like she could fit in with her peers, and she wanted her brother by her side. Besides, she found a bit of solace from not interacting with others too often, after how painful middle school was. Of course, she didn't tell him that.
It had taken a few weeks for Li Tianchen to agree to her request for an online alternative to her secondary school, in exchange for his promise that he'd tutor her and bring her out every week. She honestly did like it: the online school was self-paced, and she didn't have to talk to others extensively. There were also plenty of accessibility features online. It was her delaying the inevitable need to get involved in the world that society seemed to demand of them, but it had been comfortable.
In the meantime, she got more used to the online world and what it had to offer. She primarily lurked on a private social media account, but she eventually learned more about the shows and hobbies that people often had. She ended up getting into drawing after seeing digital art online, to the point that her drawing skills now greatly outranked her writing. Being in an online school allowed her the freedom to draw practically all the time, even as she watched her lectures.
So getting thrown right back into a crowded school setting after high school wasn't something Li Tianxi could cope with. Supposedly, they had more accommodations for mute and special education students — Li Tianchen had made sure of that — but it still made her uneasy to be around this many people.
When she was young, there had been a point where Li Tianxi had been improving a little in her speech, as if she could almost feel the words bubbling in her throat. But all that progress only regressed, and she became quieter and more reserved ever since… that incident.
It was back when their mother and father were still around. An image of a happy family that Li Tianxi had delusionally clung to while simultaneously knowing that all wasn't right, constantly being ushered to the bedroom whenever their father raised a hand against their mother over yet another accusation of his.
It didn't matter if she wasn't lying. It didn't matter how well-intentioned her mother was. Their father had a tumultuous ego easily hurt by the whispering rumors that spread like wildfire around the neighborhood.
Maybe if she hadn't been born, her mother wouldn't have walked on eggshells around her father for that long. Wouldn't have tolerated it, would have divorced and run away sooner. She would still be safe and alive, but because of her, because of Li Tianxi—
Li Tianxi shook her head as soon as she was on the cusp of a memory, of a bloodied hammer being swung, of the sounds of crying that never seemed to end.
She didn't want to remember. So she wouldn't.
She brought herself back to the present. She became conscious that she was clutching onto her leather bag too tightly — her brother had recently gotten it for her as a gift, with her favorite charms dangling from the sides — and her grip left crescent shapes behind in the material after sinking her nails deeply into it. Her knuckles were pale, and she noticed a few odd stares in her direction for standing near the entrance without taking a seat.
Right, she was attending an introductory day at the university for all the visual arts majors. Classes hadn't started yet, but it was a kickoff week. She would be living here from now on, and she had her own assigned dormitory room now. While Li Tianchen would also be on campus with her, he lived on the opposite side and was attending his own event right now. That, in itself, was fine. Li Tianxi just wasn't used to not having him help her navigate conversation, but it looked like she had to confront it herself.
It's for a chance at a better life.
But did a future like that even exist for her?
Everything about today was going entirely wrong.
Today was the day Qiao Ling and Cheng Xiaoshi were supposed to be on campus to move back into their dorms for the autumn semester, but somehow, both had slept through their alarms after their competitive gaming sesh the previous night. Which was expected for Cheng Xiaoshi, but not for Qiao Ling. She liked to think she was the more responsible of the two, after all…
She'd woken up feeling like someone had pressed a hot iron to her neck, and her eyes were bleary with sleep, fading in and out of the vague dream she was having. She couldn't exactly remember what it was anymore as she returned to the world of the living, opening her eyes a smidge, only to be bombarded by the sharp sunlight, making her wince a little. She let out a sound of annoyance as her feet kicked something hard that sent a sharp pain down her leg.
"Fuck," was the single word she said intelligibly as she sat up from where she had fallen asleep, confused about her surroundings. From the open space she was in, she knew she wasn't in her bedroom, or even her home at all. As she blinked further, she saw a single television come into focus in front of her, still on the title screen of the fighting game the two had been playing the previous night. Apparently, it had timed out to that screen, since the last thing she remembered was it being on the match results. Their customized characters were still dancing in the corner, resembling their real selves fairly well, except Qiao Ling's character hoisted a large scepter and sported bunny ears on her head, while Cheng Xiaoshi's character had a sword and dog ears.
In Qiao Ling's credit, she had warned him that they might not wake up in time. Well, she had tried. But her fatal flaw was her refusal to back down from a challenge.
"What, are you afraid that I've gotten too good, Qiao Ling?" he'd stated with a smirk, while Qiao Ling was just about to tune in for the night. She immediately stopped in her tracks at the stairwell, sending him a glare from where he was haphazardly sitting on the couch in the sunroom, a game controller in his hands. He was fiddling with the joysticks, in the middle of a round.
"Obviously not! There's no way you could beat me in a million years," she retorted, venturing back into the room to glance at the game he had opened. She then smiled to herself, a bit smugly, at seeing his progress against the CPU. "You can't even do the dropkicks right. I'd crush you in an instant."
"Oh yeah?" Almost immediately, Cheng Xiaoshi paused the game, the flare in his eyes clearly showing that he'd taken her words as a challenge. "Wanna bet?"
And from there on, the rest was history. She remembered that Cheng Xiaoshi had passed out first right after one of their multiplayer matches, and in a wildly uncomfortable position, too. She sighed then, draping one of the covers she retrieved from upstairs an hour ago over him, before proceeding to pass out herself from exhaustion at the other end of the couch. She hadn't felt like going all the way back upstairs at that point, and it was a bit nice to have a sibling sleepover, anyway.
Before she slept, she even made sure her phone alarm was set up for seven in the morning tomorrow, but apparently, she somehow slept through how loud it was. She fumbled around until her clumsy hands found her phone, lightly smacking Cheng Xiaoshi in the process, who shifted a little in his sleep and let out an annoyed sound.
She blinked the remaining tendrils of sleep out of her eyes as she read the time on her phone after dismissing the alarm screen: 9:09. They should have been out of their places at least an hour ago, and they'd definitely be late to the startup day events. Well, they weren't new students at least, but they were supposed to be advertising their photography club to the new transfer students at one of the booths. And they were already a new club struggling to get new members. So that... wasn't good.
Qiao Ling shot up immediately from where she was standing, once again accidentally elbowing the snoring young man on the couch, who now visibly winced and opened one tired eye, although he still looked half-asleep.
"Qiao Ling... just five more minutes..." he mumbled unintelligibly, practically falling onto her and making her teeter a little under his weight. Thankfully, her muscle training proved helpful in preventing him from collapsing onto the ground, even with her short stature. She could feel the strain on her shoulders, but this wasn't the first time she had to drag him out of bed. She glared at him in annoyance, tempted to knee her brother in the face.
"If you don't get off me in ten seconds, I'm going to drop you, Cheng Xiaoshi," she said with ice in her tone. "We're late. They're gonna be on our asses about reserving a booth and not showing up."
"...Huh?" he murmured, showing some signs of life as he opened both of his eyes, slightly leaning back into the couch while still taking support from Qiao Ling's right arm. She ended up using her left hand to flash the phone screen to the time. That finally made him wake up from the panic.
"Shit, the orientation day! We need to go — ow!"
While he'd been talking, she stepped back in ten seconds just as promised, making him lose his balance. She couldn't stifle the laughter that came pouring out as he was sprawled on the ground, and he looked up to give her a glare of his own. "What was that for?!" he whined.
"Told ya I'd drop you," Qiao Ling quipped as her laughter died down, although she was still smirking at the scene before her. The lightheartedness of the scene faded a little as she realized the clock was ticking and they didn't even have all their luggage packed for the dorms. "Okay, but seriously, we need to get the hell out of here, and I need to get my stuff from my place. Next train is in thirty minutes."
"Fuck off," he said in reply, but he still readily complied as he took support from the coffee table in front of him, weakly making his way back up. The two proceeded to speedrun through their daily chores and began haphazardly throwing clothes and equipment into suitcases. She helped Cheng Xiaoshi out with a bit of his packing, disorganized as he was, before fumbling for her house keys and making a break for her own home, which was only a block away from the studio.
The Cheng family's old studio was a rather cozy place that would eventually double as a photography business, a renewal of the former Hero Photo Studio. Technically, Cheng Xiaoshi was meant to be the only one who would be living there — he'd started staying there solo ever since he became an adult and could manage himself — but Qiao Ling often crashed over at the studio to keep him company, so it became normal for her to have her stuff at the studio. It brought her comfort, since they had already lived together for so long: it was a foreign feeling to not have him around.
She also knew he got lonely easily, even though he'd act all defensive about it if someone pointed it out. Well, the feeling was mutual.
Whenever they went off to university, Qiao Ling's parents looked after the place, but Qiao Ling would manage it as the landlord full-time after she graduated in the following year, along with other duties related to property management. It was much easier to work with her parents and eventually take over the family business than find a job elsewhere, so she decided that from the get-go.
She was slightly apprehensive about the job and looking after multiple properties, but Cheng Xiaoshi did half of the work with taking care of the studio, so it should be fine on that end. As much as she wouldn't admit it directly to him, he was always responsible and careful about the things he treasured.
The two had a weird situation of being in the same year because she decided to double-major midway, having taken quite a while to decide what she really liked. She started with business administration for the sake of her family, but ended up switching around her second major multiple times until she settled on psychology. It was a way for her to explore a subject that belonged to her, rather than solely feeling constrained by her responsibilities.
She began reflecting on the past as she entered her room, making eye contact with the childhood photos on the walls, some of which featured a young Qiao Ling and Cheng Xiaoshi in front of the photo studio.
It was a remnant of what the Cheng family had left behind, and as a result, Cheng Xiaoshi had tenderly cared for the place to preserve the little he had left of his parents. He particularly took care of the ferns, vines, and other flowery plants that wrapped around the place, which gave it a soft warmth, and she would honestly say it looked even more lively than before. Whenever she saw him doing so, however, she noted the distant look on his face, uncharacteristic of his usual boisterous aura, and her heart would twist a little.
He really did have every right to be spiteful about them leaving, even though Qiao Ling knew there had to be some reason. There were too many speculations of what could have possibly happened during that earthquake, but to leave without a word... It felt like Qiao Ling was the one who helped raise him instead, forced to grow up earlier than the rest of the kids her age. She didn't particularly mind taking care of him — after all, they only had each other as friends for the longest time — but even her own parents hadn't pulled a lot of weight in that process.
...It's fine. After all, she still had her mother and father around, even if they didn't check on her that much these days. No big deal. She also didn't want to speculate too much about Cheng Xiaoshi's parents, as they were already a sore spot for him. Even now, he was still waiting for them, despite the incredible impatience he usually had.
She shook herself out of her thoughts as she retrieved the rest of her belongings from her room, before texting Cheng Xiaoshi to meet her at the station. She ran there herself in a hurry, and arrived at the gates only five minutes before the billboard said the train would arrive. She could only hope that her younger brother would make it, though. She couldn't exactly ditch him (rather unfortunately), considering he had more than half of the supplies for their booth.
Just when she thought that they were absolutely doomed, she saw his familiar figure running towards her at a breakneck speed, conjuring bewildered and irritated gazes from the people he pushed through. Qiao Ling's surprise transformed into utter shock when she saw him make the extremely rash move of jumping a gate instead of walking around to where she was, having already chucked his luggage in her direction.
"Made it..." Cheng Xiaoshi declared in a way that was probably meant to sound triumphant, but he just sounded completely winded. Even so, he regained his posture and lugged the heavy bag back onto his shoulder with a grin. Qiao Ling had no clue whether she wanted to congratulate him for making it despite the odds, or punch him in the face for his stupidity. Well, it was mostly the latter.
She felt even more confused when she saw that he was now sporting two bandaids on his legs and one on his face, which hadn't been there this morning.
"Just barely! What did you even put in that thing?" Qiao Ling eyed the bag, which looked as if it might combust from its contents at any moment, the zipper barely riding over a vaguely cylindrical shape. "You look like you came back from a war."
"It practically was one!" Cheng Xiaoshi said with a dramatic flair that evaporated all of Qiao Ling's minor worries about the bandaids. Right, he's just stupid.
"Okay, what did you do now?" Qiao Ling asked in a familiar, exasperated tone she used with him whenever he got into these situations, as the two entered the train that had skidded to a stop before them.
"I was getting the chemicals I needed from the studio darkroom, since we don't have a lot left at club," he explained, a bit sheepishly. "And I really wanted to try out this new glossy paper, so I was packing that as well, along with some spare cameras and extra bins if we get new members, and... y'know."
"Yeah?"
"The dark room's dark. Tripped over the boxes with the lenses. Fell on my face."
She couldn't help but snort. "Second time you've collapsed today."
"The first one was your fault. I'd say you owe me for my injuries!"
"I literally don't?" Qiao Ling smiled a little, a mischievous glint flickering in her dark eyes. "Can't believe you're still such a baby over a scratch."
"I could barely walk!" he shot back, unaware of the massive contradiction he'd made concerning his stunt over the gateway just minutes before. He then immediately switched expressions, his face contorting into a pout. "You need to buy me the really good ice cream they sell when we get there. As an apology."
"Oh, I'll be buying it."
A flicker of surprise flashed across Cheng Xiaoshi's face, as though wondering how he'd somehow found a way to convince Qiao Ling, out of all people, of his whims. "Really?" he said hopefully.
"Yeah! For myself."
The visual arts event went just as well as Li Tianxi expected, unfortunately.
It started with grouping all the students at the numerous tables in the large room. She settled for sitting near the back to avoid any potential overstimulation from the sheer amount of people and the speakers up front, but considering this was a rather crowded university, it wasn't long before more people showed up.
She found herself sandwiched between a girl glued to her phone with a rather frigid air, and another guy who was boisterously chatting to a few of his other friends with large waves of his hand. While it wasn't necessarily their fault, she barely had the room to breathe as she sought comfort from one of the plush charms on her bag — a blue-haired girl from one of her favorite magical girl shows. She also had a matching charm of another pink-haired one with longer hair, belonging to the same series.
She recently started watching more things on the internet ever since she and Li Tianchen managed to rent their own apartment. It was relatively new for her to be into things for leisure rather than be worried about yet another thing at home, which was comforting. And a bit foreign to her, but she liked the escapism it gave.
Clutching her charms close to her and resisting the urge to take out her sketchbook and ignore the rest of what they were saying about the arts program, she powered through the event with a few hitches. When their groups were instructed to introduce themselves, Li Tianxi resorted to using the notes app on her phone, but she couldn't keep up with the others' conversations. Even if she could have talked verbally, they changed topics too quickly. A lot of them were also already friends, despite being transfers.
She didn't like texting that much, but she decided to reach out to her brother midway to check on him, feeling her anxiety accumulate. She almost wished she picked the same major as him so they could sit together — he'd settled for education, instead, which initially surprised her. Technically, it didn't matter what major they picked, considering they weren't exactly here to solely focus on studying... but Li Tianchen himself said that they should take advantage of the opportunity to continue their learning, and encouraged her when she expressed interest in the arts. She wondered whether he genuinely had an interest in education, likewise.
> gēge, how is your event so far?
She received an almost immediate reply. She felt a bit of relief wash over her when he did. Her brother was much more distant than he used to be in their childhood... largely due to everything that happened after their parents died. So she liked seeing those parts of him still present.
Li Tianchen: It's okay. I mean, I kinda don't like some of the people here, but it's whatever... you know how it is with most people in education
Li Tianchen: You usually don't text first. No one's causing you trouble, are they? I'll deal with them.
He sent an angry-looking fox emoji, which made her smile a bit. He'd always been a bit overprotective. He used to get into fights with other kids back when they were younger, too. While he'd mellowed out at school over time, he was the kind of person who wouldn't hesitate to throw a punch when it came down to it.
In the process of her reminiscing on the past, unwanted memories started climbing upward. The sensation was akin to almost remembering a fever dream she had a long time ago. Wincing, she pushed her thoughts back down, a partly unconscious move, before resuming her texting.
> no need to worry. it's just a bit loud
> i wish we could stay in the same dorms though. i'm not sure how they will be
Li Tianchen: If you ever wanna see if you can ask for more accommodations, just let me know. Maybe they can even give you a separate room
Li Tianchen: I'm the one dragging you into all this mess, after all...
Li Tianxi drew her phone closer, reminded of their bitter reality. In truth, she didn't hate enrolling at this university, so she didn't feel dragged into it. This mission gave them the money and support to attend classes and do what they'd like. Even if she didn't click with people, she was still pretty hopeful about the art classes she had this semester. It felt like a dream come true.
Well, it did suck that they had to be a bit deceitful in the process, but they'd been rehearsing this for a year, considering her failure to pass her exams the first time to enroll here. Lying was something that Li Tianxi didn't know she would be good at, but she eventually got better at it over time.
She felt a bit uneasy about their goal, though. Could the person really be tracked down in a place as big as this...? They didn't have much to go by.
It felt too idealistic. And she could only hope that it wasn't like their previous missions. She shuddered a little while thinking about the memories, some more hazy than others. She was also partially at fault. But her brother always did have the best intentions at heart, didn't he?
She was taken back out of her thoughts when her brother texted her again:
Li Tianchen: My event's longer than yours, so we won't be able to meet up for a bit.
Li Tianchen: You're fine going to the club fair yourself?
> it's ok, i can handle it on my own. i need to get more involved for the mission anyway.
With that, she finally clicked off her phone, pushing herself through the remainder of the event. She ended up exchanging a bit more conversation with the girl next to her through her notes app as they had one final mandated discussion, but it was short-lived. The girl seemed uninterested or too impatient to wait for her responses. It didn't help that the girl made all these expressions that Li Tianxi couldn't understand: her old classmates did that a lot, too. Spoke words with their faces, and followed cues and norms that she didn't quite comprehend. It had Li Tianxi somehow feeling worse about the entire thing than before.
She felt utterly invisible here.
It wasn't any of the students' faults, necessarily. She made the conscious decision to take online high school rather than risk dealing with others, so her inability to socialize likely felt magnified by how rusty she was. But it didn't stop an ugly feeling from rising within her, which she was quick to suppress. That's just how it is.
She hoped the club fair was a bit better.
The fair was set up directly outside one of the lecture hall buildings. It was all the way on the other side of campus, so Li Tianxi was catching her breath a little as she hobbled toward the brightly decorated tables and bustling people with a mixture of relief and dread.
Relief because she found the club fair. But dread because she was about to enter a social event and potentially make countless social faux pas and ruin her chances of getting to know anyone before she had even attended class. It wasn't her priority, honestly, but she did have to fit in for their plan to work.
She was scrutinizing the map she printed out at home, still somewhat paranoid about getting lost and swallowed up by the vastness of the area. It was enemy territory, unlike her familiar, small bedroom that she shared with her brother and spent most of her time in. She was outside her realm of comfort by a wide margin, and she yearned for her plushies that she left behind in her dormitory.
As soon as she took a single step onto the sidewalk leading to the booths, a group of students almost immediately approached her. The action made her let out an involuntary sound that would have been an undignified shriek if her vocal cords had been able to manage it. It came out as almost nothing, but her cheeks reddened regardless.
"Greetings, greetings!" the guy leading the group said while flapping a colorful flyer near her face. She stared back at him with an unchanging expression, not understanding what the adequate social emote for this was. Please step away from me a little. "You're a new transfer, aren't you? I see you've got stuff from the visual arts event! How do you like Guidu so far!"
Too much energy. Too many questions.
This time, she decided to use her sketchbook to talk to others, unlike what she did at the event. While her phone was certainly quicker for fast conversations, there was a moment when a man on campus was asking her for directions while Li Tianxi was walking. He mistakenly interpreted her taking out her phone to respond to him as rudeness, since it seemed like she was ignoring him. He grumbled about kids these days before storming off, leaving her cortisol spiking for a while. And she was already stressed from feeling lost at this new campus.
She wouldn't have been able to answer him anyway, since she was new to the area, but she wasn't looking forward to a repeat of that interaction. So sketchbook it was. Besides, it allowed her to draw things out if needed, which was far easier than words.
She wrote on the page what she usually said whenever she got into this kind of situation, since most didn't know CSL: "I'm mute, so I'm using this to respond. It's really big, but it's nice. I'm just not used to it." Her writing was messy from the anxiety coursing through her veins as she showed the page of her sketchbook to about six people at once.
The guy, thankfully, seemed pretty kind and patient about it, although his voice was still irritatingly loud. "It is intimidating at first! There's way too many people, but you do find it all familiar after a while. Although the dorms are hit or miss depending on who you get..."
Don't remind me... Li Tianxi was still worried about that.
"You're gonna scare her off with you talking like that, y'know," a long-haired girl piped up from next to him. She then gave her a smile that Li Tianxi had no clue how to react to, either. "I transferred here last semester, so it was tough for me, but there were people who were kind to me along the way. In which case! I recommend joining the arts club." She winked a little as she said so, slipping a paper into her hands before she could write anything else in reply.
"Hey, I was advertising my club first!" the guy complained.
"You snooze, you lose."
"Well, you should join the culture club, uh... what's your name?" The guy looked sheepish.
Li Tianxi slipped the flyers in her bag alongside the map and other papers she received from the event, before writing out the hanzi of her name: 李天希. She once again felt self-conscious about her writing, which hadn't improved much in legibility since middle school.
Thankfully, no one seemed to pay heed to that. The guy proceeded to yell out her name like it was a roll call. "Li Tianxi! Join the culture club! We always have stuff going on for the mid-autumn festival, golden week, uhm... all of those! We always set up fun games on campus and collaborate with the culinary club to lighten up the mood. We also have a dumpling-eating contest in a week."
He also handed her his own flyer.
Li Tianxi had a few more similar interactions with the advertisers at the club fair: it was often a group or a sociable-looking person walking up to her, advertising their club, making her try a sample of food, or even coercing her to spin a wheel to win a small prize. (It was a fox charm at one booth. She wondered if she should give it to her brother, considering the lack of things on his bag. She pocketed it to give to him later.) She barely got the opportunity to walk to a booth on her own, considering how enthusiastic the students were.
Even as she walked around, though, there was one booth that kept catching her eye.
It was only manned by two people, and she saw them still setting up when she first arrived. She remembered this because the young woman out of the pair had brushed straight past her as she ran toward where the previously empty table was, blazingly fast with an urgency flaring in her gaze. She said a quick "Sorry!" with a glance over her shoulder towards the other's direction, even though she barely collided with Li Tianxi at all.
While she had only looked in Li Tianxi's direction for a millisecond, she couldn't help but find the view... memorable? She wasn't sure why. She seemed to have a thing for fashion, since her top had been fairly fancy, and she was wearing a tie to top it off. Her short black hair was neatly done, although some of her face was obscured by her bangs as she ran by.
She couldn't help but listen to the conversation they had with one of the event organizers as they'd set up, most likely a member of the student union club.
"Photography club... where have you been?" The organizer did not look pleased.
The two dumped the contents of their bags unceremoniously on the table, leading the organizer to scrutinize them with a more intense judging expression.
"It's this guy's fault." The young woman proceeded to rip off the paper taped to the table labeled "Photography Club," replacing it with a trifold stand adorned with numerous photos of various Guidu students, likely from past events. She also started placing some cameras out in front of the display.
"Qiao Ling! Why are we throwing me under the bus?!"
She stuck her tongue out at the guy's response, before looking back at the organizer with a more apologetic expression. "We were kinda running late today due to... events that happened. But I promise it won't happen again. Right, Cheng Xiaoshi?" She elbowed the person named Cheng Xiaoshi next to her.
"Hey, you don't gotta—" Cheng Xiaoshi looked like he was about to start an argument, but seemed aware they were in public and decided to lay off. "Yeah, we're sorry. But we got, like, three hours left. And we've got a lot prepped! So don't worry! We won't let you down."
"I'll have you guys know that if you can't get more members soon, we need to shut things down. There are other starting clubs that need space."
The two looked distressed at that statement, but they dejectedly nodded as the organizer finally relented and let them do their thing.
Over the next hour, they interacted with many students, both speaking in an animated way that seemed to draw people in, despite their rough start. Cheng Xiaoshi sometimes showed students how to operate some of the cameras, sometimes firing off facts about the history, while Qiao Ling talked more about the events and activities they would have for the year.
Li Tianxi looked in their direction for possibly the fifth time while walking around the area, but there were far too many people at their booth. She wasn't even sure why she was gravitating towards them so much, since she knew she could barely hold a conversation. They act like siblings, she noted, seeing them fall into a state of bickering with each other again, although there was a lighthearted tone to it. They even somewhat resembled each other, but she wasn't completely sure they were related, considering their different family names.
Just when Li Tianxi was thinking she should leave, she suddenly hit something hard. She flinched a little in pain, her vision blurring as she vaguely saw the silhouette of a few people who had been standing in front of her. Unluckily, she also tripped over a crack on the sidewalk, sending her hurtling to the ground. She felt the fox charm slip out of her pocket, clattering somewhere near her.
"Hey, watch where you're going!"
Her vision was still hazy as she winced and looked up. She realized that she had walked straight into another student while she wasn't looking, effectively knocking over the tray of food he'd been holding. There were a few passersby looking at the scene in shock, and she felt her heartbeat pick up at seeing the fury in the young man's eyes. There were stains all over his T-shirt.
"Fuckin' freshmen, man... Can't you look before you walk?"
She flinched again, except this time, it was at the tone of voice that he had towards her. The clenched fist, the sharp edge in his voice as he came closer...
"What, you're not gonna say something? You made me spill everything!" He looked like he was about to swing his fist.
It was all sickeningly familiar. Even though it shouldn't have been.
"If you get a divorce, it'd benefit you more, wouldn't it? Fucking hell, why can't you women know your place?!"
No, I don't want to remember this. I don't. I don't.
The adrenaline coursing through her veins, she lifted up both of her hands and started frantically signing, [Sorry, sorry, I'm sorry] over and over again. She tried mouthing it as well, after it seemed like he didn't understand.
She hated that her father was the first thing she thought of. This man was clearly just a regular student who was pissed off for a "good reason", as she tried to convince herself, but Li Tianxi couldn't stand being yelled at. She could already feel the tears accumulating in her eyes, as though she were seven years old again, trapped in that same hellhole of a house, that same place, where every day was a ticking time bomb up until the day when Li Tianchen and she had—
"Hey."
Another voice, tinged with coldness, cut into the reverie that she was fighting not to replay.
"You're disturbing the others at the fair, being this loud. Get over yourself, it's just a stain."
Li Tianxi opened her eyes, not realizing she closed them during her near-breakdown.
She saw that young woman, Qiao Ling, in front of her. She wasn't sure how the other had run here so fast from the photography table. There was a blaze in her eyes as she firmly stopped where the guy's hand was outstretched towards her direction. Her grip was firm and unyielding, easily mobilizing the taller student.
"It's unbecoming to try to hit your junior like that. Would you want me to do that to you instead?" There was a threat on the edge of her voice, and it made the guy back away almost immediately.
"But y— ugh..." He backed down, albeit quite reluctantly.
"She's been saying she's sorry, too. 'Duì bu qǐ.'" Qiao Ling said the words as she repeated the sign Li Tianxi had made for 'sorry'. The pink-haired's eyes widened at the action. She understood me, then.
Qiao Ling continued to hound the guy until he finally apologized for his actions, bowing resolutely to her in the process. Li Tianxi, who was still sprawled on the ground, could only nod in acceptance of the apology while slightly in a daze.
The crowd nearby them had grown quiet, watching the tense scene with wary eyes. However, a vibrant smile returned to Qiao Ling's angry face, her dark eyes bright and commanding once more. "Sorry for the interruption, guys! Keep doing what you're doing!"
Her words appeared to have an effect on the atmosphere, and the booths around them resumed their normal activities. She then turned to face Li Tianxi again, her gray eyes glimmering with warmth. The sunlight of midday seemed to befit her frame as she brought a tentative hand towards her, a gentle contrast to the firmness with which she had confronted the guy.
For a bit, she stared at the hand blankly. It took a good ten seconds to realize that Qiao Ling was trying to lift her back up. After another few seconds of hesitation, all of which Qiao Ling had patiently waited for her without wavering, she rested her palm in the other woman's grasp.
Just like that, she was lifted back up.
She couldn't help but feel like the place where their hands had touched felt like it was burning, like Li Tianxi had no right to hold that vibrant one's hand. She snatched it back quickly as she got up, which caused a flicker of worry to dance across Qiao Ling's expression, but it disappeared swiftly. They stared at each other for another moment, her gaze almost seeming to bore straight through the other. Qiao Ling looked like she was about to say something, but stopped.
[You're not hurt, right?], Qiao Ling opted to sign instead. Li Tianxi felt something catch in her throat, a mixture of the congestion from the tears she had nearly cried and the feeling of someone else signing back to her, besides her dear brother.
She couldn't bring herself to smile, but she still made herself as clear as she could: [I'm fine. Thank you for helping me.]
Even now, Li Tianxi still remembers that moment of kindness that came from an unexpected place, and a near-stranger, no less. It was something that felt a bit like fate.
But in hindsight, her first encounter with Qiao Ling would be both the most wonderful day of her life, and yet ironically, a curse.