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Sigrika was stuck for the rest of the night helping Professor Mornye with sorting out files at the Reactor Drive. The sound of the machinery usually grounded her, a white noise that allowed her to focus. But tonight, the lights felt too strong, and the smell of the research papers made her nauseous. She couldn't focus. Her hands, usually so precise, fumbled with the heavy folders, making careless, uncharacteristic mistakes. Her mind was entirely elsewhere, drifting back to the events that had transpired earlier under the painful afternoon sky.
Today was Denia's birthday.
She couldn't think straight. The memory of Denia dismissing her earlier, when they were hanging out with Rover, kept looping in her head. Denia had worn that familiar, playful mask, casually telling Sigrika she should focus on helping Professor Mornye instead. It was a series of unfortunate timings born from the birthday cake they were supposed to share that was still being prepared, only available that evening, exactly when Sigrika was scheduled to be at the Reactor Drive.
Sigrika had insisted she could just message Professor Mornye to cancel, but Denia had immediately shot down the idea. "Don't run away from your responsibilities." Denia had said, her voice dropping into that teasing tone she used when she was hiding her true emotions.
Sigrika knew Denia was acting weird. She always knew. Whenever Denia disappeared into the background, whenever she deflected a topic with her lazy smirk, Sigrika could see the cracks the more she used her mechanisms. This time, the cracks were blatantly obvious. The air around the pink-haired girl had felt heavy, almost fragile. Confronting Denia ended up with the question being deflected, so Sigrika did what she knew best, playing dumb. If it would ease Denia's burdens, Sigrika was willing to keep her oblivious act, blindly trusting the girl who meant a lot to her.
They shared a promise right then, a promise that they were going to celebrate Denia's birthday properly next year, that they would even bake a cake together.
That was a lie.
Sigrika always recognized Denia's habits whenever she was lying. The slight shift in her posture, the way her eyes wavered when meeting Sigrika's eyes directly, until they land someplace else, usually at the ground as if she were already detaching from the world. At first, the signs had been subtle, but the more Denia lied to her, the easier it was to figure out. It was easiest to tell when she grabbed onto her doll, the one she always had attached to her hip. Yet, Sigrika had always kept silent, swallowing her questions because she trusted Denia. Aside from her family, the pink-haired student was the most important person in the world to her. Sigrika understood that there might be a reason why Denia needed to lie, and if playing the fool helped ease her burdens, Sigrika was willing to play the part perfectly.
But today felt different. Today, the lie felt like it was crushing her chest. She didn't want to leave. She wanted to stay right next to Denia. A suffocating gut feeling warned her that if she let go, Denia was going to be whisked away by the universe. Despite Denia advocating for her to just drop everything and run if things got too hard, it always felt like she was the one who least wanted to run away. Sigrika prayed to the stars that her gut feeling wasn't real.
"Sigrika are you alright?" Professor Mornye's voice broke the spiraling thought in her mind. A look of genuine concern present on the older woman's features. "You've been staring at those same papers for the last ten minutes, and they're... upside-down."
"O-Oh! I'm sorry, Professor Mornye, I spaced out." Sigrika's heart performed a leap. She quickly composed herself, her face flushing as she shuffled the papers properly. "I'll be sure to finish the rest today!"
"If something is bothering you, you can take the rest of the night off." Mornye gently patted Sigrika's shoulder. "We're not in a rush to finish this project, so it's alright for you to rest."
"B-But!"
"Senior recently told me the importance of resting. So, as a professor, I should do the same and encourage my students to rest, and that's final." Mornye smiled kindly. "You can go. We can pick up where you left off tomorrow."
"Okay, Professor... I'll see you tomorrow." Sigrika stepped out of the office, the heavy doors closing shut behind her as a sigh escaped her lips.
11:45 PM
It was late, but the day wasn't over. Maybe she could still catch up with Rover and Denia. She could still wish Denia a happy birthday one final time before midnight struck.
Panic began to run through her veins as she rushed out into the cool night air of the academy grounds. She pulled out her WaveLine terminal, her fingers trembling as she tried contacting Denia. Unreachable. Dread settled in her stomach. She tried connecting with Rover. The line was busy. Both of them were unavailable at the exact same time. With zero knowledge of where they were, she started running. She rushed to the dorms, the courtyards, the cafeteria, all the places she hoped she could find that familiar pink hair.
With no luck, her lungs were already burning and her legs felt heavy, she ended up at the last place she knew. The Archive.
The time was already 12:30 AM. It was past midnight. Denia's birthday was officially over.
To her dismay, the massive, dimly lit room filled with books was empty. Denia was not there, not in her usually napping spot.
"Sigrika?"
A soft voice echoed in the quiet room. Nastasha approached slowly from between the bookshelves.
"Nastasha! Have you seen Denia?" Sigrika's voice was breathless, close to being frantic.
"You just missed her! She was here with Rover earlier, maybe an hour ago?"
"Oh... I see... Thanks for telling me!" Sigrika forced a smile, though her chest felt like it was caving in.
"No worries." Nastasha paused, concern evident in her voice. "Though, Denia seemed off when they were leaving. Maybe it was exhaustion since she's still sick?"
"Mhm... It might have been. I'll go look for them again. See you later, Nastasha!"
"Take care out there and tell Denia I said happy birthday again!"
Sigrika was losing hope. Her heart was beating a panicked rhythm against her chest, and the ominous feeling she had harbored all afternoon was now a roaring alarm in her head. She stumbled out of the Archive and collapsed onto a bench, forcing herself to take a breath. The chilly night wind against her skin made her shiver. Her thoughts spiraled once more, plunging her into the depths of regret that started to eat away at her very core.
Why didn't I stay with her? she screamed internally. Why didn't I protest? Why did I close my eyes and play the fool one last time?
As the despair threatened to consume her entirely, a sound of a notification interrupted the silence of the night. Ping. The sound broke her spiraling thoughts. She scrambled for her terminal with trembling hands. The holographic display illuminated her pale, tear-streaked face in the darkness.
It was a message from Denia.
It wasn't a quick text. Not a lazy note. It was a massive block of text. A really, really long message.
Hi Siggy,
By the time you read this message, I will no longer be in Solaris.
I'm sitting here staring at the holographic screen, and I honestly don't know where to start. There is so much I need to tell you, an entire lifetime of secrets. So, I will just start with the heaviest one. The one that explains everything.
I told you once that I had a family from Lilyland that I always contacted, that was a lie. I was raised by the Fractsidus, but "raised" is far too gentle of a word. I was not a child to them. I was a lab mouse. My earliest memories aren't of lullabies or warm sunlight, but of the stench of sedatives and the eerie atmosphere of my "home." I remember the freezing sting of countless needles piercing my skin, the suffocating feeling of the isolation pod, and the heavy weight of voidmatter being forced into my veins. I was tortured, hollowed out, and groomed for a singular purpose, to become the resonator for the Threnodian, Aleph-1.
I grew up with no understanding of what it meant to be human. I was kept in the dark, fed on scraps just enough to keep my pulse going. The only mercy they ever gave me was the game Lahai-Roi blocks installed on the brainwashing screen they used on me. I spent thousands of hours rotating geometric shapes in the silence of my cage. It's funny, isn't it? That's the only reason I was able to get the high score at the academy arcade. It wasn't talent, it was just the muscle memory of a caged lab mouse passing the time.
Eventually, they gave me a mission to infiltrate Startorch Academy. To do that, I had to learn how to fit in. I was taught basic human interaction the way you would program a machine. But I never understood any of it. I only imitated what I saw. I memorized the way people laughed, the exact shape of a smile, the purpose of a joke, but I never knew the warmth behind those actions. I was told that if I acted like Fleet Snowfluff, people would find me approachable. So, I used that as my blueprint. Every playful smirk, every shrug, every casual dismissal, it was all a carefully constructed facade. I was a patchwork doll stitched together from the behaviors of the humans I observed.
I was blending with humanity, but I was never, ever human.
That was, until I met you.
I still remember the first time I felt it. It was the first time a genuine smile formed at the corners of my lips. I remember looking into your eyes and seeing my own reflection staring back, not as a monster, not as a weapon... But as a normal girl. Your smile was so soft, your expression so warm, that I was being infected, and that terrified me. Was this what emotions felt like? It was a strange, fluttering, tingly warmth that bloomed in my chest and filled the void inside. Before I knew it, I became greedy. I just kept wanting more. I kept wanting you.
But the Grand Architect found out.
Sigrika, the "Nivora" we were spending time with, wasn't the real one. It was the Grand Architect, shapeshifted. They were watching me, watching us. They realized that I was starting to develop a will of my own, that I was starting to feel emotions. To them, a weapon with its own will is a defective one. It made me a disposable vessel. The recent accident at Dimmr Plains, the reason I ended up in the infirmary... It was the Grand Architect. They made me lose control, they made me go on a rampage, because I no longer had a use. I was being tossed away.
When Aleph-1 was banished to the farthest edge of the universe, it wasn't the end for me. I still served as its link. All the residual voidmatter, all the agonizing pain, the sadness, and the suffocating despair brought by the calamity-bringer, it still lives inside me. It will stay in Lahai-Roi, poisoning everything, for as long as my connection isn't severed. For as long as I exist in Solaris.
So, I had to make a choice. For the first time in my miserable life, I was given the opportunity to make my own choice.
I have decided to save Lahai-Roi from the suffering it never deserved. I am going to draw all the residual voidmatter into myself, and then, I'm going to disappear. I don't know where the strings of Aleph-1 will drag me. I don't know if I'll still be conscious, if I will just be left to rot in the deepest depths of the void, or if I can even return back to Lahai-Roi or not.
I am so, so sorry, Siggy. I'm sorry for deceiving you. I'm sorry for constantly pushing you away when the burden got too heavy, and I'm sorry for being a coward who couldn't tell you the truth when I wanted to scream it from the top of the roof.
Today isn't really my birthday. I never had one. But I thought... If I was going to disappear today, I should at least celebrate it. I wanted to believe that if I blew out the candles, if I shared a cake with you, I would disappear as a "human," and not as the monster I was built to be.
I'm so sorry I could only say all of this in a message. If I had stayed, if I had looked into your eyes one last time, I knew my resolve would have been shattered. I would have selfishly held onto you and let the world burn. I'm sorry for being a horrible friend. Lying was the only thing I was truly good at.
But for once, in my final moments, I want to be entirely honest with myself.
The time I spent with you are the only memories I want to take into the dark. You were the sun that pierced through the absolute void of my existence. The strange, beating against my chest when you were near, the burning heat rushing to my cheeks when you smiled at me... all these beautiful, foreign feelings I was only able to experience because of you. Is this what they meant when they said they had a "heart?"
Does this mean my heart is beating for you? I don't know.
But I faintly remember a voice from my childhood, a woman who whispered to me through the glass of my pod, while she played ethereal music using her violin. "If you find someone you cherish, tell them ya tebya lyublyu."
So, to the person who made me feel emotions. To the girl who taught a monster how to be a human.
Ya tebya lyublyu.
Dasvidaniya, Sigrika.
The words carved themselves into Sigrika's chest, each sentence was a blade twisting deeper into her heart. She couldn't breathe. The cold air of the academy grounds felt like glass in her lungs. Her trembling fingers gripped her terminal so tightly that they were turning red, her eyes frantically tracing the paragraphs as hot, blinding tears spilled down her cheeks.
A lab mouse. Tortured. A disposable vessel.
A violent sob echoed from her throat, shattering the quiet night. The image of Denia's lazy smirk, her casual shrugs, her exasperated sighs, it all shattered, revealing the terrified, isolated child trapped beneath the glass. Sigrika thought she was playing the fool to protect Denia's secrets, but she never protected her from anything. She had just let her suffer in the dark.
At the very bottom of the confession, below those final, foreign words of love and farewell, was a string of coordinates that pointed towards a specific location.
Dimmr Plains.
Sigrika didn't remember the journey. It was a blur of desperation, a blind sprint through the suffocating darkness of the night. By the time she arrived at the coordinates deep within the desolate expanse of the plains, the silence was deafening.
Hidden beneath the cave, masked by the uneven terrain, was an underground facility. The heavy steel doors had been opened, and fresh footsteps were visible on the floor. As Sigrika stepped inside, the temperature dropped. The air was thick, reeking of rusted metal and the strong nauseating smell of saline. This was not home. It was a tomb.
She walked through the dimly lit corridors. She saw the rusted restraints on the metallic operating tables. She saw the terrifying arrays of syringes, the monitors coated in dust, the shattered glass of observation windows. Her stomach felt sick with every step. This was where Denia grew up. While Sigrika was surrounded by family and warmth, Denia was here, locked in a freezing cage, learning how to mimic a smile.
At the end of the hall, she found it. Denia's room.
It was small, devoid of any warmth. But there, resting on the center of a cold steel table, was Denia's memory album from the Photography Fan Club. Books relating to imitating humanity, studies about voidmatter, and other subjects were surrounding it. At the edge, there was a frame with their picture as a trio with Nivora.
Sigrika's legs nearly gave out as she approached the table. She opened the cover with shaking hands. Inside were captured moments where the facade had cracked, not to reveal a monster, but a girl. Pictures of Denia, her pink hair a mess, the underside glowing like the night sky, while laughing at a joke, eating French fries, looking directly into the lens with a look of pure happiness. If Sigrika looked closely, in Denia's vibrant eyes, she could always see her own silhouette reflecting back.
She turned the pages, the paper crinkling under the weight of her tears, until she reached a section titled in Denia's messy handwriting. "The most important person in your life."
There was only one photo.
It was a candid shot of Sigrika. Her eyes were scrunched into bright crescents, a wide smile stretching across her face as her hand tugged stubbornly on Denia's white sleeve.
A choked, broken sound escaped Sigrika's lips, and she smiled bitterly. The expression felt wrong on her face, a painful reaction that brought no joy. She traced the photograph with a trembling thumb. How could Denia think she was a monster? How could she look at this album, filled with so much genuine warmth, and still believe she was nothing more than a disposable vessel? The bitter smile disappeared as a wave of crushing guilt washed over her. Denia had built her entire humanity around Sigrika's light and in return, Sigrika had let her walk into the void all alone.
Wiping her eyes with the back of her sleeve, Sigrika noticed the open door connecting to the next room.
She pushed forward.
The room was vast and eerie. In the center lay the shattered debris of a massive containment pod, Denia's "home." The glass was blown out, the heavy cables severed like dead veins. Despite the destruction, the room was clear. The suffocating weight of voidmatter that usually choked the air around the room was entirely gone. The air was clean. Empty.
Sigrika took a slow, hesitant step towards the center of the wreckage, her boots crunching against the shattered glass. As she approached the destroyed pod, she caught a whiff of a scent that overpowered the smell of the lab. It was completely out of place.
It smelled sweet.
She turned her head to the left, towards a massive debris on the floor. There, placed perfectly amidst the mess was an orange cake. It was decorated with rainbow bean pop rocks, creeping torchpine nuts, and fruit crackles.
It was the cake that they were supposed to share. Did Rover leave it here? That was when she realized.
Denia never got to eat her cake.
The realization hit Sigrika, the unfairness of it all made her drop to her knees. She looked back towards the center of the mess, where the pod had once stood. Hovering just in front of the metal debris was a large, iridescent bubble, shimmering faintly in the dim light. It was beautiful, fragile, and out of place between the destruction. It was the only linger mark that Denia had been here, that she had taken the void into herself and vanished.
Exhaustion finally overtook the adrenaline in Sigrika's veins. Her body felt heavy. Slowly, she crawled forward and sat down, right next to the shimmering bubble. She pulled her knees to her chest, her heart a chaotic mess of grief, love, and devastation.
She stared at the translucent surface of the bubble, her vision blurring as fresh tears broke from the waterworks, rolling down her cheeks. She forced another broken smile through her heavy sobs. Leaning her head towards her knees, slightly tilting towards the bubble, imitating the position she had always used whenever she rested her head on Denia's shoulder. She closed her heavy eyes and whispered into the empty room.
"S dnyem roshdeniya, Nia."
The silence of the lab swallowed her words. The coldness finally creeped into her bones, dragging her down into a deep slumber. As the world faded away, Sigrika drifted into a dream. A warm sunlit dream where she sat across the pink-haired girl, sharing a slice of orange cake with the void that she had once illuminated with her light.