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Jeonghan stared at his reflection, twisting his body left and then right. He pouted and then spun, looking at himself over his shoulder. He raised himself onto the tips of his toes, pulling a hoodie that did not belong to him tight around hips, accentuating his shape. His lips tugged into half smile. He set his heels back on the floor, the shape changed and he frowned.
"Explain to me," he began, throwing himself onto the pile of blankets and clothes strew across his twin XL, "bhmkdb bjsanuf haudnbffsmifng maiass!"
Across the room, his best friend snorted where he sat at his desk attempting to finish a paper while candidly scrolling Instagram and not so subtly stalking the lead actor in the university's production of Excalibur. Said actor had just posted a ridiculous thirst trap of himself in a mirror selfie, slightly sweat, very sexy. Joshua sighed when Jeonghan grunted and complained from his bed. He turned, throwing a pen at the lump. "I can't understand you when you whine, Jeonghannie."
Jeonghan raised his head, and his crestfallen expression meant this was serious. "Joshuji, I have a cute ass, right?"
He stared at the other with wide eyes, willing him to agree. Joshua took off his glasses and cocked his head got the side. "I'm sorry?"
"Well, you see, Coups, ah, I mean Seungcheol… he doesn't grab my ass!" Jeonghan declared, dramatically dropping his head back into the pillows. He had established a situationship with the captain of the wrestling team who everyone on campus called Coups. Somewhere in the last few weeks, he'd demanded Jeonghan call him by his given name. The only problem with that was that Jeonghan had spent over a year calling him Coups and blushed like a demure princess when he was corrected.
Joshua laughed, asking, "What?"
Jeonghan sat up, a dramatic tangle of thin limbs and messy black hair. It air dried over night and it looked like an absolute rat's nest. Joshua's grin softened until Jeonghan arranged himself into that ridiculous pose he favored when he wanted something - knees spread, sweater paws laying between his open thighs. His favorite CFM pose. Joshua gagged.
"Joshuji! You have to help me! Seungcheol doesn't grab my ass when we make out. Like he actively avoids touching it. Granted, it's not like big but it's cute, right?" His pout deepened and his eyes shook, all devastation and innocence.
"I will punch you if you cry about this," Joshua told him seriously. He walked over and shoved some of the clothes onto the floor before sitting on the bed beside his best friend. "Maybe he's not an ass guy."
Jeonghan lifted his eyes and glared, upset that not only had his best friend not agreed with him, he was also trying to make him see logic. "What else is there? It's not like I have tits. Do you think that's it? He's a tits guy? I know he's bi… what if that's why he never-"
Joshua reached out that tugged on a lock of Jeonghan's long hair, causing the other to yelp. "Stop spiraling! Or I will pull again."
Jeonghan moved his head away, swatting at at the other's hand. He began to play with the strands absentmindedly in deep thought.
"What is he prefers breasticles to testicles?" Jeonghan asked earnestly, and Joshua elbowed him.
"Sweetie pie," Joshua called, grabbing the brunet's face and squishing it roughly.
"Not the man hands!" Jeonghan complained.
Joshua deemed that comment unworthy of a response. He moved his hands up and down, rubbing Jeonghan's cheeks raw until the older one pushed him away. Distractions were his specialty and his dear roommate needed them very often.
"If he doesn't grab your ass, what does he do with his hands?"
Jeonghan lifted his own hands to Joshua's neck and twisted his fingers in the faded auburn hair at the back of the younger's neck. "Sort of just grabs me like this and holds me there. Moves my head wherever he wants. Like this," Jeonghan forced his friend's head to tilt back and away so his lips were raised.
Joshua nodded. "Okay. I can see that. Does he ever move them?"
"Stand up," Jeonghan said, tugging until they were both standing in the middle of the room. "Turn around," he pushed Joshua until they were standing in front of the mirror. "So, he comes up and slides his hands over my hips, he'll put his thumbs through my belt loops. He does that a lot when we're just standing around. He kisses my cheek like this."
Jeonghan's thin fingers demonstrated the hip hold and nuzzled his best friend's cheek. "He usually pulls be against him, like this."
Joshua made an 'oomph' sound when his back collided with Jeonghan's front. "So forceful. Does he do this in public?"
The brunet nodded. "He'll give me a kiss but it's sweet. Innocent. No tongue. He'll call me pretty. Gorgeous. Beautiful… But, if we go back to his room, we kiss kiss. He'll hold my waist, rub my arms, then do the neck thing. He calls me all those things too but they sound different. Hotter. His voice gets all deep, and he calls me 'Jeonghan-ah…'" Jeonghan gripped Joshua's hip tighter and his gaze turned day dreamy.
"Okay," Joshua said pushing Jeonghan away. "Easy there."
Jeonghan giggled nervously. "Sorry…"
Joshua glowered and returned to his desk chair. "So, his hands don't go further?"
"No!!"
"And you haven't -"
"Joshuji, you know I'm a virgin!"
Cue the dramatic clutching of pearls. If anyone else had heard Jeonghan claim his virginity, he was almost certain they would have laughed. This twink standing before him was born in a farming village and longed to go back. He was too innocent for city folk. Except, he was an adaptable bitch and flirted with everyone. The illusion that he was kind of a whore was of his own accidental making.
"Is he?" Joshua asked.
Jeonghan's pout turned into a sour frown. He climbed back onto his bed and pulled his knees to his chest. "I don't think so… he's so hot, Joshua, I'm not naive enough to think he would be a virgin. He's probably slept with a lot of people."
"Does he know you are?"
Blushing prettily, Jeonghan tucked his chin into his shoulder. "Yes. I told him because I didn't want him to think I would just sleep with him."
Joshua nodded. "And you two have been exclusive for like two months now, right?"
Jeonghan nodded back. "What if he's getting bored and my ass it just the thing that opens his eyes. Like sure, Jeonghan's pretty but he has a flat ass and he's a virgin who doesn't put out."
"I sincerely hope he's not that slimy."
"He's not," Jeonghan protested. "I would let him, you know, I want to but…"
"Jeonghan, you know I gave it up when I was 15, it's not a thing for me. I can't help you romanticize this."
Jeonghan shook his head frantically. "I don't need it to be, honestly. I just want it to be him. And, he wants to deflower me, I just know it! But he won't touch my ass, at all!" Jeonghan sat up on his knees and turning away from Joshua. "You touch it and tell me what you think?"
"No, thanks," Joshua said, leaning away.
"Hong Jisoo, help me! You know I would do it for you. Who smuggled you back into campus when you were dating that guy from China who drove the moped and meow'd at everyone? Who helped you break into Lee Jihoon's dorm when he stole your copy of Maroon 5's 'Songs About Jane' and lied for a month saying he didn't? Who covered for you when you were dating Jeon Wonwoo and Chwe Hansol at the same time? I've done so much for you, return the favor!"
"Hey… you know what, just turn around and shut up!" Against his better judgment, and with the utmost reluctance, Joshua reached out a hand and set it against Jeonghan's rear.
"Well?"
"Well, what?"
"Squeeze it. Get a good feel."
"This is stupid."
"Please!" Jeonghan begged, bringing his sweater paws up until he sat in his second favorite pose. He knew exactly how he looked and he hoped somewhere in that cold heart, he could appeal to Joshua though he really doubted it because he didn't have muscles and he didn't tower over him. Joshua had a type and Jeonghan wasn't it. He wiggled his hips, trying to be cute yet enticing.
Joshua's upper lip curled and he exhaled loudly, the universal sign for giving up. The hand still sitting over Jeonghan's shorts pressed in. Joshua wondered if his hand was huge or if Jeonghan's ass was just tiny. He flexed his fingers, feeling the give of the brunet's muscles. It was mostly muscle, there was just enough fat to slightly round the cheek. It wasn't going to win any contests but it existed.
"So?" Jeonghan asked, looking over his shoulder.
"Are you wearing underwear under these shorts? What is this line?" He could feel the seam of something under his hand.
Jeonghan coughed. "Yes… ah, it's a thong actually. I thought it would help with the shape… it does I think. You know what, stop critiquing my clothes and get on with feeling it!"
Joshua squeezed again and nodded, inspection complete.
"You do in fact have an ass. Congratulations," Joshua deadpanned.
"Well, does it feel nice?"
"I'm the wrong audience for this."
"Sure, and I bet if Lee Seokmin was standing in front of you, your hands would be all over his ass." Jeonghan crossed his arms and huffed.
Joshua smirked. "Facts. I want him to do naughty things to me while he serenades me wearing nothing but his sword. I don't want anything remotely naughty with you. If I was into that, then maybe, it's a very passable ass."
Jeonghan fell forward dramatically, face buried in his pillow yet again. Somehow, he was still on his knees and the lewd scene had the makings of a low budget porno - he was presenting and Joshua's had the unexplainable urge to smack his ass. And that would have been funny as hell had the door not opened at that moment and in walked Boo Seungkwan followed by Jeonghan's boyfriend as Joshua's large hand landed and the brunet shouted.
Joshua snatched his hand back and stared at the newcomers with wide eyes.
Seungkwan's jaw dropped as his eyes ping-ponged between Joshua holding his hand to his chest and Jeonghan ass up, face down. The domineering presence of the man behind him forced the youngest to squeak out, "Umm... Jeonghan, your boyfriend's here."
Jeonghan scrambled up, pushing Joshua's hand away like it burned him and purposely arranged himself back into CFM pose #1. "Hi, honey!"
"Jeonghan-ah," Seungcheol called, eyebrow raised. He stood in the doorway like a wall of darkness with his arms crossed menacingly. "Are you wearing a thong?"
Jeonghan blushed a cherry red and Joshua took that as his cue to leave. He spun for the door, taking Seungkwan by the shoulder and using him as a shield to exit the room. Seungcheol stepped aside so they could walk past him.
For good measure and self preservation, Joshua leaned in and told Seungcheol, "Coups, he made me do it! Also, he thinks you don't like his ass."
"Joshuji!" Jeonghan protested.
"Good bye, Joshua," Seungcheol told him, pushing Joshua out and closing the door loudly behind him.