Work Text:
Kit has never been claustrophobic, but the neon lights and loud music start pulling pressure inside his head as if it is about to explode and take the whole world along with him.
The air smells like sweat. Kit scrunches his nose in slight disgust, glancing at Ty at his side. They are not in gear and Ty's black dress shirt looks almost translucent as they step into the club. The first two buttons are unbuttoned, leaving his neck exposed to the light.
And some other more inappropriate things that Kit really doesn't want to think about.
“Are you going to be okay?” Kit leans in to yell it over the music.
Ty jolts from the sound only a little. One of his hands is gripping at the collar of his shirt, twitching it between his fingers. “It’s fine, I'll manage.”
Ty is not raising his voice and Kit wonders how he manages to make himself heard when everything is drowned in bass. “You know, it doesn’t have to be you, I totally can–”
“Kit.” Ty cuts him off sharply. He is still not looking at Kit but the lines of his jaw are more defined as he clenches it tight. “It’s fine. I am not a child.”
“I wasn't implying–”
“But you were.” Ty throws a quick glance towards Kit but looks away as quickly.
Kit feels heat spreading up his neck. “I just meant that this can be an overwhelming place for you.”
Ty frowns. “I am capable of talking to people,” he says.
“And flirting?”
“When necessary. I know how I look.”
Kit flushes, coughing as he chokes on his spit. Ty has always looked beautiful, of course. Him being aware that other people – including Kit – find him attractive makes Kit's stomach do funny things.
Kit nods and starts moving away but Ty catches him by the sleeve of his jacket. “Just don't go too far, okay?” He asks. There is no frail or hesitation in his voice, but Kit knows Ty well enough to spot a slight break in his calm expression.
“Of course.” Kit frees his hand and squeezes Ty’s elbow softly. “You’re always in my line of sight.” He does a gesture from his eyes and towards Ty, as if saying I see you.
The corner of Ty's mouth twitches. He turns on his heels and heads straight towards the dance floor.
Kit heads straight to the bar. He asks the bartender for a shot and downs it in one gulp. Ty’s mop of black hair moves through the crowd and Kit finally has a reason to stare at Ty unabashedly.
He promised, after all.
The plan that they came up with wasn't that complicated. Find the vampire, get the information, get out before anyone registers who they really are. Kit should feel calm about it – this is home. This is a place full of downworlders and it should make him feel safe.
Instead his hands can't stop twitching as he sees anyone approaching Ty by a single inch.
Kit’s back straightens – he watches someone pulling Ty to the side, their smile wide as they look at him. At first, Ty looks up and blinks in confusion, but then grins back at them. It's strained, Kit can see it even from that far away, the lines of Ty's mouth are way too stretched, but it seems to be working on whoever is hitting on him.
Kit’s teeth clench.
“You’re jealous.” Livvy appears, as she always does, out of the thin air, making him jump.
Kit shudders. He is still not used to it.
“For fuck’s sake, Livvy.” He gasps, clutching at his heart.
She laughs. “This is the most fun part of being a ghost.”
Livvy is smiling, leaning back against the bar. Kit wonders how many people can see her besides him and Ty. Under the neon of green and blue she looks almost as if she is alive. As if she is having a good time.
“For a record, not jealous,” Kit adds. “It’s just– not his thing.”
Livvy arches an eyebrow at him. “Did he tell you that?” She asks, tilting her head. “Do you know how many people are crushing on him at Scholomance?”
Kit doesn't. He also thinks he prefers to stay in the dark.
“The things that they say about him when he is not around,” she sighs. “I wish I could unhear them.”
“Why were you even listening?” Kit asks. Livvy finding out what he thinks about Ty in his head genuinely horrifies him.
“Do you know how hard it is for a ghost not to hear things?” Livvy rolls her eyes. “People are so careless with what they say.”
“Not everyone is me,” Kit shrugs.
Livvy opens her mouth to say something but then her gaze snaps up and her eyes widen.
“Shit,” she hisses out. She stretches her arm to shove Kit but winces when it comes right through him. “I think the bouncer was notified of Shadowhunters sneaking in.”
Kit looks up in panic. The big guy from the entrance – probably a werewolf – is prawling around, right toward where Ty is standing. Kit's eyes land on him and he sucks in a breath.
The person from before – the one who smiled at him with so much mirth in their gaze – is leaning over Ty whose back is against the wall. From where Kit is standing, Ty doesn't look that happy about it, but still makes no effort to leave. His arms are crossed against his chest and he smiles – smiles – one of the corners of his mouth lifting a big higher turning it into a smirk.
Kit exhales and tries to raise his arms in the air to get Ty’s attention. The bouncer starts approaching closer, and people around Kit are giving him odd looks but he doesn't care.
Ty’s head finally snaps up and Kit starts signaling with his hands at the bouncer. Smile falls from Ty's lips and his gaze starts darting all around. The person beside him is leaning in, whispering something in his ear, but Ty looks like he is way too far away to comprehend anything.
Kit straightens up, grasps his gun at his hip and starts to move into the crowd. Just as he makes the first step, Ty looks up at the person in front of him, grasps the collar of their shirt, and drags their face in a forceful kiss.
Kit stops in his tracks almost dropping his gun. He wants to move, or to run, or to do literally anything to pull them apart but it's as if some invisible force is keeping him glued to his spot. He watches, transfixed, as Ty's long, beautiful fingers tangle in the guy’s hair and his eyes flutter and Kit’s heart is suddenly swelling, too big for his own body. The person Ty is kissing is towering over him so Ty has to push himself on his tip toes not to strain his neck.
He wouldn't have to do that to kiss Kit. Their faces would almost be right in front of each other, and Kit wouldn't be grabbing his waist as forcefully as that random guy does.
It would be slow, and sweet, and careful. It wouldn't be as messy.
“Well, shit,” Livvy whispers. “This is very gross.”
“Very,” Kit agrees. He hopes he sounds at least half as broken as he feels.
“At least it got the bouncer off,” Livvy points with her head at the werewolf moving right past Ty and toward the bathrooms.
Ty must have noticed it too as he pulls away from the guy in front of him immediately. Kit sees that his hands are shaking.
Kit starts taking another step forward but Livvy stops him. “Wait,” she stands in front of him. “He can handle that.”
Kit wants to protest but sees as Livvy levels him with a stern look.
He gulps and steps back. Ty leans in, whispers something to the guy, and then pushes off the wall and moves away. Their eyes meet, and Ty gives him a weak smile. It doesn't reach his eyes.
“Got what we needed, let's get out of here,” he says as he reaches Kit in the crowd. His voice is hoarse and his lips look red and swollen and Kit hates that it's because Ty was kissing someone.
Someone who is not Kit.
“Sure,” Kit says, his own voice strained. “Can't wait to get the fuck out.”
Livvy nods in agreement and follows as they make their way to the exit.
*
Kit watches Ty from where he is sitting. Physically, he looks okay. Healthy. Kit should know. There is a glow on his skin and slight flush on his cheeks from the sweat.
Emotionally, Kit can’t quite get a read on him. Ty's face is blank, not really showing any emotion but his fingers are drumming relentlessly against the backseat.
“I am sorry you had to do that,” Kit breaks the silence. “It sucks.”
Ty shakes his head. “It’s fine, Kit.”
“It’s really not. I mean, for some people it might not be a big deal but I know it is for you.”
Kit watches as Ty’s shoulders sag. He lets out a shaky breath, looking straight ahead. Kit’s body aches to touch him, to place his hands protectively over his body and shield him from the rest of the world.
Kit clenches his fists in his lap.
“Have you ever kissed someone?” Ty asks.
“Yeah.” Kit nods. “I have. A few times.”
Truthfully, Kit barely thinks about it. His first kiss was with Livvy. The others were a few brief encounters after leaving LA but they didn't feel like anything special. Kit barely thinks about them.
“Okay,” Ty breathes out. He sounds shaky. His eyes keep darting all around the place and looking everywhere but Kit.
“Was it your first–”
“Yeah.”
Kit’s heart drops to his stomach. “Shit, that really sucks.”
Kit expects for Ty to deflect, because that’s the habit he didn’t quite get rid off. Ty likes building walls all around his heart and keeps it closely guarded. Even from Kit.
“I shouldn’t– shouldn’t care that much about it, right?” Ty says. “I guess I wanted my first kiss to mean something. That’s stupid.”
There is a breach. A red light seeping through, where Kit can finally get a glimpse of Ty’s heart.
“Ty, of course it’s not stupid.” Kit puts his hand over Ty’s shoulder and squeezes. “Everyone wants their first kiss to be special. And if they don’t they are probably lying.”
That gets a smile out of Ty – a small, barely there, but a smile nonetheless.
“Does it–” he sucks in a breath. “Does it feel different?”
Kit blinks. “What do you mean?”
“When you are kissing someone you actually like?”
Kit’s head is suddenly spinning. “I think so,” he says.
Ty tilts his head to look at him. His eyes are wide open, as if he is a feral animal locked in a cage. Kit clenches Ty’s shoulder even harder, knuckles going white. It probably hurts him rather than comforts him, but it does not matter at that moment.
“I wouldn’t know,” Kit adds, hesitantly. “I never really kissed someone I really liked.”
He daydreamed about it a lot, though. About dark, thoughtful eyes, long eyelashes, and thin lips that keep repeating his name in that sweet voice that he grew to love.
But Ty doesn’t need to know that.
Ty blinks at him slowly, like a cat showing approval. His lips part, and Kit can’t help but gawk, following every movement. Kit watches, in daze, as Ty raises his hand into the air and brings it to Kit’s face. Kit gasps as his fingers make contact with his skin.
Ty’s hand slides to the back of his neck, eyes watching Kit intently. His other hand grabs him at the elbow and pulls him close.
“Ty.” Kit tries to keep his voice steady. “This is a bad idea.”
Ty smiles, then bumps their noses together.
Kit breathes out loudly. “Ty,” he repeats. “I don’t want your second kiss to be a result of a rush decision and fight or flight, too.”
Ty feels so warm. Why would anyone ever think that he is cold when so much warmth radiates just from a simple touch?
“It’s not,” Ty whispers.
It’s all the warning Kit gets before their lips meet.
It is different, Kit concludes. Kissing someone that you have feelings for. It’s as if the doors open, letting out the light that was kept under the lock, and only one person in the world has the keys. And once they are inside, there is no escape.
The kiss is slow, which Kit is not used to. There is no desperation, or fear, or tears staining his lips this time. Only the languid movement of Ty’s lips against his as he cradles Kit’s face gently in his palms. Ty buries his fingers in Kit’s hair and tugs, and Kit’s mouth opens, letting him in. The swipe of a tongue is gentle, exploring everywhere it can reach.
Kit whimpers, circling his hands around Ty’s neck to pull him in even closer.
“Shit,” Ty whispers, visibly out of breath. He licks his lips, and Kit can’t help but trace the movement. “It didn’t feel like this at all. There is fluttering in my chest.”
Kit laughs. It gets stuck between their faces, as if in a loop. “Fluttering?”
“Yeah,” Ty chuckles. “I don’t want to ever stop feeling like this.”
“You don’t really have to,” Kit mumbles, bumping their foreheads together. “I will very gladly kiss you forever. If you'd ask, of course.”
Ty laughs. It's a melodic sound, trapped right in between their bodies. Kit is glad because he is a greedy person.
He doesn’t want for anyone else to get to hear Ty likes this – happy, relaxed, and open.
“Please?” Ty asks and leans in again.
And who is Kit to deny him.