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Reinhard draped a blanket over his father, who had cried himself to sleep beside Mother’s bed again. His father had always done his best to muffle his cries, but Reinhard heard every weep and sob clearly. This time, his father had clearly sunk deeper into his despair. From how his father mourned the condition of Mother, the death of Grandmother, to Grandfather’s blaming her death on Reinhard—even though Reinhard did deserve it.
“I’m sorry,” Reinhard whispered, but he didn’t fully mean it. He was the Sword Saint now. Apologies didn’t mean anything. It wouldn’t bring the dead back.
Heinkel stirred in his sleep and groaned. Reinhard wondered if he had been too loud. His father had lost so much, why couldn’t Reinhard even let him have a moment of peaceful sleep?
Quietly, Reinhard spoke, “If only I weren’t here…” Then Grandmother wouldn’t have died, Grandfather wouldn’t grieve, and Father would at least sleep peacefully during the night.
Then, the scenario in front of Reinhard changed. His parents were gone, replaced by unfamiliar buildings and bright daylight. At the same time, his dozen Divine Protections left his Od, including the very Divine Protection he had so cruelly ripped out of Grandmother when she needed it the most.
People with strange clothing and rare black hair walked past Reinhard, glancing at him and speaking a language that he couldn’t understand.
This wasn’t home. This wasn’t Lugunica.
Reinhard ran, hoping to find any clue on where he was, anything that would tell him what had happened to him. He only found the unknown. Night fell, and he still didn’t know anything. Raindrops fell, soaking Reinhard’s small figure which would’ve been impossible if he still had his Divine Protections.
Hurriedly, Reinhard found shelter within a colourful tunnel to hide from the rain. By this time, at least one of his family members or the servants should be looking for him. But would they look for him after he killed his grandmother? If they could?
For some reason, Reinhard had a feeling that this was his punishment.
Subaru used to like his brother. Now, he shut himself in his room away from him. A second game controller and a seat cushion were left in a corner and covered with a cloth. He didn’t know why he hadn't thrown them out.
Knocking came. Subaru covered his ears with a pillow, but it wouldn’t do anything to muffle that strong, clear voice.
“Subaru, we are going to be late for school.” His adoptive brother urged.
That was the point. Even if Subaru prepared and ran there now, he would still be too late. His brother was different though. He was always faster, stronger, more capable. Subaru hated being compared to him.
After a long silence, Subaru started to lift the pillow. Then the locked door flew open with a loud bang.
“Idiot! I specifically wrote a signboard saying 'Reinhard is forbidden' outside my room! It wasn’t as if you didn’t know how to read now!! Go away!” Subaru screamed at the masked intruder with flaming red hair.
“Reinhard? No, I’m the masked knight Veltol. I’m here to help you.” Reinhard adjusted the Oni mask they made during the last summer festival. “If I carry you and run, we can make it to school.”
Subaru snapped and pushed Reinhard’s shoulder, or he attempted to. “Stop it! I’m not going to school! Just care about yourself!”
Reinhard frowned, a hint of sadness from the rejection showed on his face for a moment. “You have missed your attendance too many times. If you keep this up, you might have to retake this year—”
“So what?! It isn’t like I can be like you and skip high school entirely! There is no ‘we’! You are already in your last year of university! Leave me alone!” Subaru cut his brother off and quickly turned away. He didn’t need to look to know what expression his brother was wearing.
Silence only filled the room for a second before Reinhard grabbed Subaru’s arm. “Who’s that? Veltol Astrea never went to university.” Then he started dragging Subaru around like a doll and looking for his school uniform.
“Shut it with your stupid OC cosplay! I’m so sick of you!” Subaru resisted fruitlessly. Reinhard didn’t listen. He went through his closet, found his school uniform and started ironing it with just one hand.
He would be forced into uniform next. Subaru realized. Memories of all of his classmates ignoring his existence and his teacher sighing in disappointment flashed.
‘I already heard that the younger son of the Natsuki household isn’t as talented as the older brother, but I didn’t expect their difference to be this huge.’
“Stop…!” Subaru grew more anxious trying to escape. Of course, he couldn’t make Reinhard let go of his arm no matter what.
“Subaru, an education is important. Without graduating from high school, you cannot enter university. And without it, it will be harder to get a job with a higher salary and opportunities.” Reinhard said simply. He had finished ironing the uniform.
“You think I don’t know that?!” Subaru shouted. Must Reinhard rub the fact that he was superior on Subaru’s face?! That his inferior little brother had to go through university while he was already working several part-time jobs? “I hate you! I wish you weren’t here! Disappear!”
Reinhard halted, his grip on Subaru’s arm loosened enough for him to slip away. Only then did Subaru register what he just said. He went too far.
Through the mask’s holes, the unnatural sky-blue eyes his older brother possessed now turned dull grey. With a slightly wavering voice, Reinhard spoke. “I just…I just want Subaru to graduate peacefully...”
Subaru felt as if a blade had stabbed his heart. He should say something now. To apologize. To say that he went too far and he didn’t mean it. But he didn’t, because what if Reinhard would take him to school after he apologized?
For a long time, neither of them moved or spoke. Every second that went by felt like a noose tightening on Subaru’s neck. When footsteps were heard from the staircase, Subaru knew what was coming.
A hand was placed on Reinhard’s shoulder. Subaru’s dad. “What’s wrong? So energetic this early morning? Such youthful energy!”
“Uncle Kenichi, it’s 8:30 pm. We are going to be late for school...” Reinhard took his mask off as if no one would recognize him otherwise.
Kenichi mused. “Is that so? I think it’s fine for—”
Subaru shoved both of them out of his room and shut the door with more force than necessary.
Thankfully, they didn’t attempt to push Subaru any further and left him alone. Was it kindness or that his dad had given up on him? Honestly, Subaru wouldn’t object if it were the latter. Reinhard was the better son. Subaru knew he shouldn’t treat them like this, but he still did it.
Subaru stared mindlessly at the clock, watching it pass nine. He did nothing else until his muscles started hurting. By habit, he moved to pick up a game controller. A bad choice. A memory of him and Reinhard playing video games together flashed uncontrollably.
Regret filled his heart. Why had things become this way?
He did like his brother. They played so much together as kids. Subaru remembered how reserved Reinhard had been, only watching other kids play from a distance and never joining. Subaru had taken Reinhard’s hand, including him in his friend group, taught him how to read, ate the same food with him, read manga with him, and slept under the same roof together. Even though they were unrelated by blood, they were brothers.
When Reinhard beat Subaru in a race, he didn’t particularly feel jealous, just beaten. Not when all of Subaru’s friends left him and talked to Reinhard more. Not when Reinhard had better academic results than him. Not when people would come to Subaru just to ask him to pass their love letter to Reinhard. Not when Reinhard would come home with bags full of chocolate to share with the family. Not when Reinhard would flawlessly beat Subaru in video games, cooking, handiwork, height, face, strength, and above all, personality…
Natsuki Reinhard was too bright. Natsuki Subaru could only hide in his shadow. Countless times, Subaru thought the title of Kenichi’s son should go to Reinhard. For that reason, Subaru had stopped pushing his bangs back since middle school. Their bonds only deteriorated from there, each day with Subaru pushing his brother further and further away.
No longer in the mood to play video games, Subaru put the game controller in the same corner he put Reinhard’s controller and seat cushion. He probably wouldn’t touch them for the next few months.
Family dinner was always the most difficult thing in Subaru’s day. Not because the food was bad, but because Reinhard would be there.
If it were just his parents, Subaru would only get a stomachache and could afford some mundane chat. But Reinhard? Subaru couldn’t even muster the courage to look at his face.
He had already spoken a lot of horrible words to him that morning. That guilt still lingered even though months had passed. A million times, Subaru had thought to apologize to Reinhard, but he was too cowardly to do it, so their relationship turned sourer every day. Subaru would rather starve and sleep through dinner time, then later go to the convenience store for some instant ramen.
So that was what Subaru did, ignoring his mom’s call and staying in his room. Unfortunately, a knock on his door halted his plan to sleep through it. “Subaru, are you awake?” His dad’s firm, surprisingly solemn voice came. Better him than his brother.
“No.” Subaru replied.
“My son is an expert at sleep talking!” Kenichi laughed, but that laughter died quicker than Subaru anticipated. Why did his dad sound so serious, actually? “Dad didn’t want to force you, but come downstairs now. Reinhard has something important to say, I have a feeling that you shouldn’t miss it.”
Subaru’s fist tightened on his blanket, hesitating and regretting that he had responded to his dad and revealed that he was awake. He couldn’t help but think that his dad was going to disown him now.
He supposed his heart would hurt less if he just got it over with as fast as possible. Carefully, Subaru opened his door and walked out. He did not dare to look at his dad’s face to know what he was thinking. Similarly, he did not look at Reinhard’s room beside his room when he followed Dad downstairs into the dining room.
“I’m glad you came.” Reinhard’s voice came. He didn’t directly say his name, but it was obvious who he was talking to.
Subaru lifted his head just enough to see everyone’s lower body but not their faces. As expected, his mom was there too. For the whole family to be present, it must be something serious.
Reinhard was seated across from Kenichi and Naoko. On the dining table, a bowl of rice, steamed fish and green peas could be seen. There was a clear distinction in the level of quality between the dishes, a familiar sign that both his mom and brother cooked the dinner.
“Subaru still hasn’t eaten, right? I have already reheated your dinner. You can eat first, then I will begin.” Reinhard offered.
Subaru felt like he was punched in his guts. He felt faint. Somehow, he managed to choke out a short refusal. “Not hungry.” His tone came out a bit harsher than he intended.
“I see.” Reinhard said with the same degree of rejection from that morning.
Subaru took a chair and sat slightly behind his parents, his head downcast to avoid everyone’s gaze. Please stop looking at me.
“Then, shall we start?” Naoko waved, instantly breaking the ice in the air. “For Reinhard to want to gather and speak to everyone, it is quite rare. What is it? Did you finally get a girlfriend? Or a boyfriend?” Naoko covered her mouth.
“Aunt Naoko, I’m glad that others see me that way, but I can’t reciprocate their feelings…” Reinhard scratched his face. “Actually, the reason why I can’t isn’t completely unrelated to what I want to inform you all.”
Kenichi gasped. “Speak up! No matter how you identify yourself, we will accept you nonetheless!”
Reinhard giggled and coughed into his fist. “First off, I must thank Uncle Kenichi and Aunt Naoko. I cannot thank the two of you enough for raising me and taking me in for the past thirteen years.”
“Oh? It has been thirteen years already?” Naoko said. “It felt just like yesterday when Subaru and I found you at the playground. How old was Subaru back then? One? Two?”
Subaru resisted looking up. He and Mom found his brother at the playground? He must be too young to remember much of it.
“Subaru was three, dear.” Kenichi corrected. “I remembered calling the police to find this lost child’s parents to no avail, so Reinhard lived in an orphanage for two years until we adopted him.”
“Indeed, I remember those days vividly as well,” Reinhard added. “Thank you for checking up on me so often back in the orphanage and sending me back when I had…run away.”
Kenichi leaned in. “You mean the second time we met you? It really gave me a fright when I saw you drowning in the sea during our family vacation at the beach.”
Naoko clapped her hands. “I remember that! You even jumped in and saved little Reinhard. Subaru even gave his towel to Reinhard.”
Subaru didn’t remember that, either. Did his dad take him downstairs just to talk about the past?
“Anyway, back to the main topic.” Reinhard reminded. “As you all know, I have taken on various part-time jobs over the past few years. At long last, I have earned enough to pay back everything.”
As he finished that, Reinhard presented a letter on the table. Kenichi instantly pushed it back. “Don’t mention it, you are my son! We didn’t take you in for you to repay us!”
Naoko nodded. “We wanted you because we wanted to do something for you.”
Subaru remained silent, trying to tune out how great Reinhard was compared to the waste that was himself. With how many people who confessed to Reinhard, Subaru wouldn’t be surprised if his brother had a harem.
“I must insist, I wouldn’t feel at peace if I didn’t repay you two in any form or way,” Reinhard said firmly.
Kenichi shook his head. “As long as my son is happy, I don’t need anything else. You have more to tell us, right? I will decide after you finish your story.”
“Yes, then I shall move on.” Reinhard compromised. “After my university graduation in a month, I will move out. Not to another city, but abroad.”
Subaru’s head shot up. What?
With his head no longer downcast, Subaru could see how much this news shocked his parents. When he glanced at Reinhard, he wore a serious face full of resolve.
Kenichi was the first to respond. “Why tell us this only a month before you are moving out? The sudden lore drop is going to give this poor old man a heart attack.”
“I didn’t want to give any false alarm for years when I wasn’t certain of anything. It was only until recently that I earned enough to repay you two and to live abroad. And…I was scared of how everyone would respond. My apologies.” Reinhard replied, unfitting of his usual confident self.
Kenichi slumped against the table. “You even planned it for years?! Well, better late than never. I believe that children should fly free after they grow up. You are soon to be a 19-year-old too. I won’t stop you from moving out, but there was no need for you to use your own savings for it. I’m plenty capable of funding you.”
Reinhard shook his head. “Uncle Kenichi is too generous. I have ample savings.”
’So you were taking so many part-time jobs just to fund yourself going abroad?’ Subaru wanted to say, but his throat felt blocked, and funny thoughts wouldn’t stop flowing in his mind.
If Reinhard moved out, no one would try to drag him to school again. If Reinhard moved out, no one would compare the two of them again. If Reinhard moved out, Subaru wouldn’t live in his shadows anymore. Then…then everything could go back to normal.
Why were these the first thoughts Subaru had? Reinhard didn’t do anything wrong.
His mom’s voice distracted him from sinking further into his self-deprecation. Naoko cooed. “So that’s why Reinhard doesn’t have a lover. If he had one, his lover might die from the separation!”
Reinhard only smiled politely at the completely missed point from Naoko’s first thought.
“That said, which country are you planning to move to?” Kenichi asked.
“As of now, I’m not certain.” Reinhard smiled wryly. “But I will first head to Germany, if I can’t find what I want to look for, then I will travel around Europe, then eventually the whole world. I expect it to take years, if not decades.”
“That doesn’t sound like you are pursuing further studies,” Naoko noted. “Will you visit and contact us a lot during those years? We will miss you.”
For a concerning moment, there was total silence. When Subaru looked directly at his brother’s gaze, he didn’t meet his. Reinhard was biting his lower lip as if contemplating a difficult decision. Ultimately, his shoulders relaxed and seemed to have come to a decision.
With a strange finality, Reinhard spoke. “I most likely won’t return anymore.”
…What?
For a few seconds, Subaru’s world went blank.
Why exactly did Reinhard want to move? Could it be because Subaru treated him horribly that morning?
Did he hate me so badly that he decided to move abroad and never return?
Subaru felt a panic attack rising up. Distraction. He needed to distract himself.
If Subaru were in his room, he would have gotten himself a manga or light novel to distract himself. But he wasn’t.
Of course it wasn’t unreasonable that Reinhard would hate Subaru, he hated him for his perfection too. It was only natural. But why did it hurt so bad? Wasn’t Subaru just thinking about how it would benefit his worthless pride if Reinhard left?
“Subaru?” His mom’s voice came.
Reinhard was leaving, and all his parents would have left was him, their disappointment of a son. He would get thrown out of the house any day now.
“Subaru, what’s wrong?!” His dad’s voice came next. In his blurry eyes, Subaru saw his dad’s angered face.
It was only then that Subaru realized that he was hyperventilating. Stupid. Not now. Everyone was looking at you. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it—
Subaru felt like he was going to suffocate. In his panic, he barely registered the fact that he had fallen out of his chair and was now on the floor. He could hear and see everyone’s voice and faces, and it was scary.
An urge to apologize for being Natsuki Subaru swarmed him. Even though he wasn’t getting enough oxygen in his body, he choked out apologies between each breath.
“I’m sorry…” Subaru covered his ears with his hands and shut his eyes. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”
Muffled voices scolded Subaru, building fear on top of fear within Subaru. “...need water? Mom will get it for you…” “...son, why are you apologizing…”
“....okay…breathe slowly and deeply.” Within the muffled voices, a third voice came.
By habit, Subaru followed what the voice had instructed and did his best breathing slowly and deeply. When he felt his mind became clearer, he committed himself to following the instructions. When his breathing and fear started to stabilize, Subaru could start to tell his surroundings better.
Subaru made a mistake opening his eyes, because his brother was there alongside his mother and father, hands holding a cellphone as if about to call emergency service, even holding a cup of water.
Subaru didn’t know who they were so concerned about, but all he knew was that today was the worst day of his life yet.
“Are you feeling better?” Reinhard voice came above Subaru.
Subaru didn’t want to answer, he just kept his head between his knees. Why must both of his parents be away to get medicines from their family doctors?
His silence seemed to have given Reinhard an answer. “I’m sorry. I know Subaru doesn’t like me anymore, I will give you the distance you needed. You must be exhausted.”
That pissed Subaru off for a second. He snarled, “So that’s why you are leaving Japan and never coming back?”
There was a pause in Subaru’s room. His family had sent him back up so he could rest, but it also gave Reinhard a perfect chance to have a one-on-one conversation with him.
“Uh…Forgive me, but how is me leaving Japan related to that?” Reinhard asked.
“How else?! I know you are leaving because you hate me!” Subaru raised his voice slightly, head still between his knees.
“I don’t hate Subaru?!” Reinhard baffled, like he was accused of committing the worst crime in existence.
“Liar! Why would you leave Japan and never come back then?!” Subaru hissed.
A pause again. Subaru knew it, Reinhard hated him but didn’t want to say it out loud.
Subaru heard a sigh above. Reinhard finally spoke, “...I wanted to keep this a secret, but I will tell you about it to clear out your grave misunderstanding.”
“Yeah, I’d like to hear your excuses,” Subaru said sarcastically.
Reinhard seemed to take that as a challenge and cleared his throat with a cough. “Subaru, do you remember how we first met?”
“No, but Mom mentioned an hour ago that we found you in the playground.”
“Precisely. I was in the tunnel when you found me inside by accident. You pointed at my red hair.” Reinhard laughed.
“I don’t remember that. Why are you recalling that time when you were abandoned by your irresponsible foreign parents and were living on the streets for a week or so before an orphanage took you in?” Subaru remembered how his dad had explained to him about Reinhard’s situation before the day they officially welcomed him into their family.
“That’s what others theorized, yes.” Reinhard sounded sad for some reason. “Sorry for the detort to answering your question, I guess I wanted some time to prepare myself to reveal my secret.”
“Just say it already.” Subaru said impatiently.
“Alright.” Reinhard agreed. “Remember how we read all those light novels and manga when we were younger? There is this trope called ‘Isekai’ that caught my interest. You answered all of my questions about how it works, if the person being transported could return to their original world and everything.”
“And?” Subaru raised an eyebrow.
“So…I actually came from another world.” Reinhard said casually.
“Oh.” Subaru said.
“Yes, that’s all. That’s my secret. It’s a fantasy world, by the way.” Reinhard ended with a nervous laugh.
“Oh…” Subaru said.
“Did that answer your question? I’m leaving Japan because I want to go back to my world, not because I hate—”
“WHAT?! MY POPULAR, HANDSOME AND PERFECT ADOPTED BROTHER ACTUALLY CAME FROM ANOTHER WORLD?!” Subaru yelped so loud that he stopped burying his head between his knees and faced his brother.
Reinhard had covered his ears with his hands from the sudden shout. “That sounds like one of those fantasy light novel titles we read before.” He smiled wryly.
“Because you are actually an anime character!” Subaru stood up and pointed a finger gun at the anime character. In Subaru’s shock, he had even forgotten all the awkwardness before this all. “That explained your why you are so OP and picked up cars easily! You are the main character! Traitor! How could you keep this a secret from me for so long?! I want to get Isekai too!”
Reinhard averted his gaze. “...I don’t know...”
Subaru gritted his teeth. “You don’t know what?”
“Nothing. My apologies.” Reinhard replied.
Subaru felt a wave of exhausation washed over him. He sat on the bed. Woah. That made a lot of sense. That explained why Reinhard was illiterate at first, why he was always bad with technology, why he was a superhuman and everything.
“Now, can I be the one to ask questions?” Reinhard started a new conversation unpleasantly. “Why does Subaru dislike me?”
“Can you not ask that so directly?” The awkwardness came back. Subaru remembered why he hated his brother now.
“Why does Subaru distance himself even from his parents?” Reinhard asked again like it were a less direct question.
Subaru grabbed a pillow and covered his face. “I’m sleepy now, go away.”
“It should only be fair for you to reveal your secret after I revealed mine.” Reinhard argued.
“BECAUSE MOM AND DAD ONLY LOVE YOU, OKAY?! BUT THEY DON’T LOVE ME!” Subaru snapped and threw his pillow straight to his stupid face. His hatred of Reinhard tripled.
Reinhard held the pillow away and stared at Subaru with a confused face. “Your parents do love you, Subaru.”
“You have no proof. You stupid perfect monster.” Subaru insulted.
“Remember that day when I tried dragging you to school but Uncle Kenichi stepped in? He actually scolded me for forcing you.” Reinhard’s voice was filled with something like remorse. “Aunt Naoko always cooked your favorite food. When you didn’t eat it, she tried again with a new recipe. When we were in the dining room earlier, they always involved you in the conversation. They love you.”
Subaru felt his heart jump. His parents did those? There was no way. Reinhard made them up. Also, Subaru had solid proof why his parents didn’t love him. “They scolded me when I was having a panic attack,” Subaru remembered their angry eyes for interrupting their time bonding with their favourite son.
Reinhard frowned. “They didn’t. They were all worried about you.”
’Don’t gaslight me!’ Subaru wanted to yell. Then footsteps up the stairs stopped him.
“That was loud, kids!” Kenichi entered the room. Subaru instantly fixed his eyes on the floor. “What were you two playing? Mind if this old man joins in the fun?”
“You are going to make our neighbours file a noise complaint, so don’t,” The culprit of the noise said. Shit. Was he that loud?
Reinhard looked slightly nervous. “Uncle Kenichi, what did you hear?”
“Something about someone handsome has come out of the closet?” Kenichi recalled.
Reinhard let out a sigh of relief.
Naoko entered the room behind Kenichi, holding some pills and a cup of water. “Subaru, Mom is glad you are feeling better. Do you think you still need these?”
Subaru cringed a bit. “Medicines? For me? Seriously? I’m not sick.” Was his half-blown panic attack so bad that he needed medication? Moreover, his parents cared enough to fix his broken self?
Kenichi coughed and patted Subaru on his back. “Ignoring mental health is no joke, my son.”
Although Subaru had already cried out all his tears during his panic attack earlier, he felt his throat tightening. With all his might, Subaru managed to rasp out one sentence before he cried. “I don’t need medicine.”
“Okay then. But in return, tell Dad if you have any girls you like!”
“It's not a bargaining!” Subaru almost raised his head to look at his dad. Then by coincidence, he found himself gazing at the silver-haired figurines on his shelf.
“It’s okay to have a type, my son.” Kenichi seemed to have noticed Subaru’s stare and mocked.
“It’s pathetic to like anime girls! How can you be okay with it!” Subaru flushed in a mix of embarrassment and shame.
Why must the whole family be around him right now? Please leave me alone and don’t love me.
Unfortunately, this day only got worse for Subaru.
“Because you are my son, so I will support you as much as possible,” Kenichi said like he didn’t just destroy Subaru’s miserable defense.
Subaru felt his heart tightening and lowered his head further. Then he felt a hand wiping away something wet from his eyes, causing him to look up.
His mom was there, surprisingly looking at him with concern. “Here, here. Subaru is such a crybaby.”
Subaru wanted to deny it, to say that he wasn’t one. Yet the tears wouldn’t stop leaking.
Then the dams fully broke when his dad placed a hand on his shoulder. “Sorry, Subaru. Dad should’ve paid more attention to you. We just want to tell you that we love you and we are always there for you.”
It shouldn’t be possible to hit an even lower point in life, but it happened, and Subaru burst into tears without restraints.
“I’m sorry that I’m so useless…I thought you two hate me and don’t want me anymore…I’m sorry…” Unlike earlier, when he couldn’t even apologize for his sins properly, this time he finally did and it wasn’t under fear.
Subaru felt arms hugging and heard voices reassuring him. His parents were there with him, along with his brother. Subaru wanted to believe that he was hated by his family. But it wasn’t the case. His brother was right. His parents did love him. They never favor any son more than the other.
That day was the worst day in Subaru’s life, but his days only got better from there.
Subaru tidied up his room and gazed at his school uniform. After some hesitation, he put it on the ironing board and started ironing it.
Three weeks had passed since the worst day in Subaru’s life. He still had days of relapse where he felt like he was worthless and unworthy of being loved, but the therapy sessions and his family’s support made those days bearable.
In another week, Reinhard would leave Japan to return to his world. And Subaru would return to the life of a normal high schooler, studying and making friends in school...probably not the latter. Everyone would just ask him about Reinhard.
“Actually, how is Reinhard going back to his world after leaving Japan?” Subaru finally realized the strangeness behind that logic. Isekai certainly couldn’t possibly be accessible via a plane?
Driven by newfound curiosity, Subaru stopped what he was doing and knocked on Reinhard’s door. “You there?”
Over the past three weeks, Subaru’s relationship with Reinhard had improved greatly. Although there would always be some moments of awkwardness between them, it was much better than when Subaru would avoid his brother at all costs.
“Yes, just packing up what I need for my flight next week,” Reinhard announced.
Subaru opened the door and looked at the slightly messy room. “You are really prepared…Question time! How the hell are you returning to your world?! A portal?”
“No. Magic don’t exist on Earth. Even if it does, I can’t use magic since birth.” Reinhard explained with a wry smile. “I actually got transported randomly one day. There was no warning, no magic circle, no welcoming party when I was summoned. I also didn’t get hit by a truck or die in any form. Therefore, I could get sent back to my world at any time and I wouldn’t have known.”
“Woah, what an anticlimactic summoning…Then can’t you just stay here?” Subaru blurted out.
“That’s what I did for the past thirteen to fourteen years. As you can see, it didn’t work.” Reinhard smiled sadly. “So I will try to test it out by travelling around the world. Some settings only have certain places where they could summon people from other worlds, right? So I thought that maybe—”
“Hold on. It’s not a 100% chance that you will return to your world?” Subaru cut in.
“No.” Reinhard blinked.
Subaru punched Reinhard in the chest. He barely flinched from the impact.
“You made me have a whole crisis over it! Apologize!” Subaru whined. Even though Reinhard had said that it was just a possibility that he wouldn’t return from the get-go.
“I’m sorry.” Reinhard winced like a kicked puppy.
Subaru groaned. “You—Never mind. The one who should apologize here is me…I’m sorry for being so terrible to you. You did nothing wrong, but I blamed and hated you unjustly. I’m sorry.”
Reinhard looked surprised. He quickly composed himself. “I’m sorry, Subaru. I wanted to get you back to school as quickly as possible before I leave, but I was too hasty. Forgive me.” Reinhard bowed.
“You are making this awkward again!” Subaru flushed, dragging his brother back to a standing position.
This close to Reinhard again, Subaru felt regret that he hadn’t reconciled with his brother sooner. They only had a week left now before they might never meet again.
The thought of that nearly brought him to tears again. It wasn’t certain that Reinhard would be gone forever. Maybe they could meet again in a few decades. Even if they wouldn’t meet again, Subaru should focus on giving his brother the best memories from Japan.
“Do you want to play some video games like the old times, Reinhard? Somehow, I missed being beaten by you.” Subaru suggested, remembering the unused controllers still gathering dust in his room.
Reinhard looked happy. “Sure! But I don’t want to go all out on you. How about we play some non-competitive games?”
Subaru giggled. “Whatever you want, I can play until morning if you want.”
“In that case, shall we go get some midnight snacks? It is quite late now.”
“Right. It is ten already, I really need to fix that sleep schedule.” Subaru looked out the dark window. “Let’s get the snacks from the convenience store.”
“So you chose to go to Germany first because you thought it could be your modern hometown?!” Subaru yelped on the empty streets. Then he quickly covered his mouth.
Reinhard looked embarrassed. “Ever since I was young, others have always thought of me as German due to my name and blue eyes. And when I researched the country, their building style resembles the country I grew up in back in my world. So…”
“It would be revolutionary if Germany were a fantasy land with magic.” Subaru said. If Reinhard’s silly theory was correct, then by extension, the world at some point had magic.
Reinhard nodded and continued the conversation with a quieter voice. “Even if arriving in Germany wouldn’t get me sent back to my world, I could try to find something about my family…”
Subaru halted. If that theory were right, then Reinhard’s family—his biological side—must have all passed away a long time ago.
Reinhard didn’t look particularly shaken by what he had said himself. Of course. In his fourteen years here, he must have thought about his past life over and over. All alone as a child, in an unfamiliar world with no one he could rely on.
While Subaru was thinking deeper into how messed up Reinhard’s life had been, they had finally arrived at the convenience store. Looking over at the snack sections, they picked a few bags of chips and ramen in silence. When they headed to the drink section, Subaru finally lost control of his curiosity.
“I don’t want to potentially touch on any sensitive topics…but would you tell me about your family? If you don’t mind?” Subaru asked with a frown. He only had a week left.
“It feels strange that you are asking so formally.” Reinhard gaped.
“Ahh!! Is that a yes or no?!” Subaru pouted.
Reinhard giggled, then his lips pressed flat and his sky blue eyes dimmed. “I wonder if my family looked for me.”
Subaru kept silent. Partly to give space for Reinhard and partly out of shock. He had never seen such a vulnerable face on his brother before.
“Not too long before I was transported to this world, I killed my own grandmother,” Reinhard said without any wavering in his voice.
If not for the cold emitting from the freezer before them, Subaru would have thought that this was a nightmare. His brother…killed his own grandmother?
“You must have had a good reason,” Subaru blurted out. Like, the grandmother could be an abuser who tried to hurt her own grandson. So Reinhard killed her in self-defense. And judging by the timeline, Reinhard was less than five. It couldn’t have been his fault.
“I didn’t.” Reinhard denied and broke the little hopes Subaru still held. “I knew Grandmother was fighting, yet I had requested Od Lagna and taken her Divine Protection of the Sword Saint. So she died.”
Reinhard now seemed dazed. His eyes weren’t focusing on anything in front of him. Subaru couldn’t understand the context and some terms Reinhard had said, but he didn’t feel like pushing it.
“You have us.” Subaru said, almost desperately. “Mom, Dad, and I love you.”
“Thank you.” A smile found its way back on Reinhard’s face. He took a bottle of chocolate milk and apple juice from the freezer. “Let’s go.”
Subaru watched as Reinhard walked past him and towards the counter. For some reason, Subaru felt like Reinhard didn’t…No, had his brother ever considered him or his parents as part of his family?
Reinhard only addressed his parents as uncle and aunt, and Subaru as Subaru, which isn’t weird because he was the younger sibling and his parents never forced Reinhard to call them his parents.
And yet, Reinhard had said that he could be sent back to his world anytime since he was on Earth.
Subaru moved to grab Reinhard by his shoulder. Reinhard stopped to look at him.
Trying his best not to let his anger overtake his mind, Subaru’s grips was harsher than he intended. “Reinhard…If you were sent back to your world years ago, none of us would have known where you had gone. You never told any of us about your secret.”
Reinhard blinked without any particular emotion on his face. “I didn’t.”
That indifferent reaction nearly made Subaru scream. Instead, Subaru grabbed Reinhard’s collar. “We could’ve spent the rest of our lives looking for the missing Natsuki member! Was keeping your little secret so important that you were willing to leave us worrying about you forever?!”
Reinhard stared. “I’m sorry. What should I do?”
“The moment we return home, go tell Dad and Mom that you came from another world too! Simple as that! How could someone as smart and perfect as you ask such a low EQ question?!” Subaru shook Reinhard. What was that perfunctory reply?!
“I’m not as smart or perfect as you think I am, Subaru.” Reinhard finally gave a reply that sounded less perfunctory. “A perfect person wouldn’t kill his family.”
Subaru’s grip weakens from the reminder of what Reinhard had done. “So what…?! You…!” How did this relate to Reinhard being fine with giving Subaru and his parents a lifetime of grief? “What the hell is wrong with you?!” Subaru shouted.
“Customers, please keep quiet in the store!” Someone from the counter called. A great reminder to Subaru that he had nearly lost it in public.
“So sorry!” Reinhard apologized to the store employee. Subaru released his grip on Reinhard. “Subaru, let’s go.” He said again.
Subaru felt embarrassed. But he was quickly distracted by how quickly Reinhard was able to smile after Subaru caused a scene—
No, Reinhard was pretending, wasn’t he? The way he kept his identity as an otherworldly person a secret for fourteen years. The way he never told anyone that he was moving until weeks ago. The way he was always so nice to everyone, to Subaru, even when he had wronged him…
The idea that Reinhard had been pretending ever since Subaru knew him made him feel nauseated. It was simply unthinkable. Was there any moment where Reinhard had shown Subaru even a glimpse of the real him?
Suddenly, a memory from earlier came to mind.
“I wonder if my family looked for me.” Reinhard had said.
Oh.
Subaru felt like he understood Reinhard now.
If what Subaru thought was correct, then Reinhard, just like Subaru, thought that he wouldn’t be missed if he were to disappear tomorrow.
That was why he hadn’t told anyone that he was from another world. If you never tell anyone, you would hurt less when no one is looking for you.
Only under that hypothetical scenario, obviously. But Subaru knew too well now how negative thoughts could blind anyone, perfect human or not.
Reinhard had already paid for the snacks. The automatic doors opened, sending a wave of warm air over their faces.
As soon as both of them were out of the store and the doors closed, Subaru hugged Reinhard from the back.
“Subaru?!” Reinhard exclaimed.
“After I graduate from my university and earn enough savings, I’m coming to travel the world with you too!” Subaru shouted as loudly as he could now that he wouldn’t be yelled at by the store employees. “It’s unfair to travel all alone! It’s more fun with more people! I’m making Dad and Mom come with you! Heck, I’m inviting all of your university friends, my classmates, the caregivers and friends from your old orphanage, everyone who ever had a crush on you, the one dog you saved from getting hit by a car three years ago, and the entire neighbourhood!”
“What are you talking about? Let me go, Subaru.” Reinhard nudged Subaru gently. Something that wasn’t a fake act. It was a part of Reinhard’s nature.
Reinhard was popular, handsome, kind to everyone, full of justice, good at sports, academic and cooking, but he could be quite bad with relationships, trapped by his past and was insecure of his worth. He had a fake mask, so what? Everyone faked a part of themselves. Subaru had faked his optimistic attitude and tried to be Kenichi’s son. They were the same.
Subaru continued, “Even if you had never seen yourself as a Natsuki, we still love you! You are my only brother! You are not perfect, but you are loved! You’d better take that to heart before you return to your world!”
Reinhard shuddered. Wordless. Perhaps even a hint of shyness. He didn’t move to force Subaru away. Neither did Subaru move away. It wasn’t until a pair of high schoolers walked by that Subaru let go of the hug out of embarrassment.
As expected, the pair of high schoolers recognized Reinhard. “That red hair…Is that the Natsuki Reinhard?!” “Oh my gosh, can I ask for your phone number?! I’ve been a huge fan of yours since seeing your face on the magazine cover!”
By habit, Subaru stood far away enough not to attract any attention. Subaru estimated that it would take at least twenty minutes before their chat would end.
Yet, Reinhard had waved the two high schoolers goodbye. Their conversation ended in less than a minute.
“That was fast.” Subaru commented behind his brother.
Reinhard turned to him with a smile. “It is unfortunate, but I have to make time to make the most of it with my little brother. I really miss playing video games with you.”
Subaru stared.
“What are you waiting for? Don’t I have to confess my little secret to Uncle Kenichi and Aunt Naoko as soon as we get home?” Reinhard gestured for Subaru to go with him.
Subaru rushed to punch his older brother in the chest again. Again, zero impact. But Reinhard acted as if he was hurt by it. “You called Dad and Mom those but called me a little brother?! Stop creating misunderstandings!”
“I have parents back in my world, so I couldn’t bring myself to address your parents as mine.” Reinhard confessed. “But I’ve never had a younger sibling figure, so Subaru have always been my brother.”
“Tell me that lore earlier! Give me back my tears!” Subaru complained.
Reinhard laughed. “Sorry, and thank you for loving me. I always think that I don’t belong here and should return to my world, but I’m glad to have met everyone in this world. I wouldn’t mind it if I couldn’t return.”
Then Reinhard hugged Subaru. The hug lasted only seconds before Subaru pushed him away and walked down the street. “It’s summer, it’s hot! Let’s go home and enjoy the air conditioner.”
Reinhard nodded and followed Subaru down the streets. Hopefully, his brother didn’t notice how red Subaru’s face was.
The convenience store was already out of sight. The street lights illuminated their road back home. When it was just a turn away from reaching their home, Subaru wondered how his parents would react to Reinhard’s secret. For his dad, well, shock definitely. His mom? Would probably react with jokes. But in the end, they would both accept Reinhard as he was. They were that great of a parent.
“Subaru, you said earlier that you would take others to come with me to travel the world. I wouldn’t recommend that.” Reinhard scratched his cheek. “I’d prefer not to risk anyone getting transported to another world with me. When I revealed my secret to you weeks ago, you mentioned that you wanted to get transported. I hope that was a joke.”
Subaru gagged. He didn’t expect Reinhard to remember that. “It was a joke. I was just saying that because—” I was depressed and thought it would be better for me to disappear. “Will not do it again. Promise.”
Reinhard beamed. “Indeed. I don’t wish for Subaru to go missing one day.”
The next moment, the sky had turned white and the sun shone down from above.
“What?” Subaru blinked a few times through the blinding sunlight.
The empty, quiet road had completely changed its building style and was now filled with crowds, a fountain that wasn’t in their neighbourhood, a large lizard carrying carriages with wheels, people with medieval clothing—was that a person with an animal face?
“Reinhard? I don’t think I had enough sleep.” Subaru looked beside him.
Reinhard didn’t respond. His usual calm face was twisted with what shouldn’t be possible for someone of his league. A mix of shock, fear and disbelief. It wasn’t obvious, but Reinhard seemed to be breathing faster, too. Unconsciously, Subaru felt chills climbing up his spine.
Wide blue eyes turned to face Subaru fully. “Why…why are you back with me?”