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Summary:

Yet another season 2 group chat
Will mainly be Kurt(hevans) centric but basically explores every character and ship

Notes:

Hi everyone!!

So I decided to create a chat fic because I didn’t want to commit to actually writing a long fic. Endgame ships aren’t finalised so feel free to leave suggestions for pairings

Chapter 1: Audition

Chapter Text

Nude Erections

Rachel Berry has kicked Matt Rutherford from the group chat

5/9/10 5:24 PM

Artie: Damn girl

Mercedes: Didn’t even give him time to breathe

Rachel: It’s not personal, he’s our competition for Nationals now!

Mike: That’s if we make it to Nationals. We’re still down a member.

Tina: I for sure thought our Empire state of mind number would encourage people to sign up

Kurt: Yeah, the only thing it encouraged, was a slushie to my new Kate Spade sweater.

Finn: Don’t worry guys! I totally have this under control

Santana: Yeah I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what you told us minutes before Jesse St Scumbag kicked our assess at regionals

Finn: Trust me on this, there was this blonde dude called Sam and I heard him singing in the shower and it was totally awesome

Puck: Totally gay

Finn: He’s gnna join glee club guys

Kurt: Though I highly doubt that, you’ve been marginally more successful than the rest of us were today, well done Finn.

Finn: :D



Rachel Berry has started a private chat with Quinn Fabray

5/9/10 8:15 PM

Rachel: I need to tell you something.

Quinn: Please tell me you’re not pregnant

Rachel: What? No! I messed up.

Quinn: And you’re sharing this information with me why?

Rachel: Out of everyone in glee club, you’re the least at liberty to judge me for making a mistake after what happened last year.

Quinn: Fair point. Spill, Berry.

 

 

Artie Abrams has started a private chat with Tina Cohen Chang

5/9/10 9:00 PM

Artie: Can we talk?
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Glee guys

6/9/10 3:13 PM

Puck: I h8 to admit it, but Finn was right

Artie: Yeah, Sam’s got pipes

Finn: I told you guys! He totally worships me

Kurt: Hold on, you all met Sam?

Artie: Yeah man, we had an impromptu jamming session with the guys

Kurt: I see….

Mike: Oh- sorry Kurt. We all kind of assumed you wouldn’t want to join us.

Kurt: No, you were right. That much testosterone in one room sounds all kind of unappealing.

Finn: srry Kurt



The divas

Mercedes Jones has kicked Rachel Berry from the group chat

 

 

Nude Erections

6/9/10 4:44 PM

Santana: Well I have to say Berry, I for one am impressed

Rachel: I didn’t mean to! I was just looking out for the team, I want to make sure we’re all able to shine this year.

Kurt: Your commitment to your delusion is impressive.

Tina: Seriously Rachel, you couldn’t have just sent her to the gym or something?

Finn: Hey, back off Rachel guys

Santana: Omg I just threw up in my mouth a little

 

 

Noah Puckerman has started a private chat with Santana Lopez

6/9/10 6:59 PM

Puck: My place in 5?

Santana: Wow Puckerman, I thought you’d never ask

 

 

Brittany S Pierce has started a private chat with Santana Lopez

6/9/10 7:27 PM

Brittany: Want 2 cum over?

Santana: Can’t, I’m with Puck

Brittany: I thout u said u didn’t like him

Santana: I don’t. He asked me to get my mac on and I hand my body out like it’s a free sample. First come, first serve

Brittany: oh… cum round tmrw then

Santana: We’ll see.

 

 

Kurt Hummel has started a private chat with Finn Hudson

6/9/10 7:34 PM

Kurt: Seriously Finn, the Cheerios?

Finn: Wait, how do u know about that?

Kurt: I’ve been on Sue’s good side ever since my Celine Dion medley secured her another trophy.

Finn: Oh

Kurt: I mean seriously, what were you thinking? Not only will you be hurting Quinn, but I’m pretty sure you haven’t even mastered walking yet, let alone cheer.

Finn: I know okay? But Coach made Sam quarterback. I gotta have smthing

Kurt: Sam is quarterback?

Finn: Yea, even though I’m way better thn him

Kurt: I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but I don’t think bringing another meat headed jock into the New Directions is the right idea.

Finn: Y not? He’s good

Kurt: Just… you don’t want your spot as leading man threatened do you?

Finn: Guess not

Kurt: Exactly. Now come down, Carole made lasagna.

 

 

Quinn Fabray has started a private chat with Santana Lopez

7/9/10 2:06 PM

Quinn: Slut

Quinn Fabray has blocked Santana Lopez

 

 

Finn Hudson has started a private chat with Sam Evans

7/9/10 5:06 PM

Finn: Dude where r u?
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Finn: Sam?

Sam: Srry, I can’t

Finn: What r u talking about?

Sam: U guys are rlly good, good luck with New York

 

 

New directions

7/9/10 5:45 PM

Kurt: What an excitingly successful first week

Puck: Yeah, not only did we lose the short chick, but trouty mouth bailed on us too

Mercedes: Trouty mouth?

Mike: Sam.

Santana: Everybody say well done Finchel

Quinn: Hey, at least they tried. What exactly did you contribute this week Santana?

Santana: You want a round two baby momma?

Kurt: Ladies, ladies, you’re both pretty.

Tina: Right. What we need to focus on is finding a twelfth member. As a TEAM

Mike: I could ask Matt to transfer back?

Kurt: Matt has made the wise decision and ran for the hills.

Brittany: I culd ask Lord Tubbington to join, he like 2 sing even tho he’s tone def

Santana: Genius

 

 

Rachel Berry has started a private chat with Mercedes Jones

8/9/10 8:24 AM

Rachel: I just want to say that I really am sorry for what I did to Sunshine, and to the rest of glee club by extension.

Mercedes: Save it

Rachel: Mercedes, surely you, as a fellow diva, know how difficult it is to share the spotlight?

Mercedes: That I do, but I have a lot of experience playing back up, you get by Rachel

Rachel: I guess I just don’t know how to do that

Mercedes: Well you better learn, because this year, I’m not settling for second place.

 

 

Will Schuester has created a group chat with 12 members

New directions!!

8/9/10 11:12 AM

Will: Hello everybody, welcome back to the glee club! It’s going to be a great second year!
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