Chapter Text
Busan, 1960.
A voice that sounds like rain.
Jimin likes the smell of the mornings in Busan when he cycles to work. As he rides his bike along the hill by the sea, watching the blue horizon merge with the ocean, demonstrating that the world exists as one, the sea salt invades the air and tickles his nose.
Jimin takes a few seconds to taste the salt, closes his eyes, and pedals almost blindly, the waves crashing on the shore guiding his path. Then he imagines he's a jellyfish drifting along the surface, the sun's rays piercing through his translucent skin, the salt nourishing his body.
The scent of the sand and the sound of the waves fade as he approaches the city. Although Busan is the capital of Korea, its streets still bear the scars of war, a stark contrast to the imposing ocean that surrounds it. However, this doesn't dampen the lively bustle of people moving through the streets, determined to survive, to overcome hunger, and to fight for a decent life.
Fishermen are already offering their products when Jimin passes through the center of the city: fish, squid, and abalone that still smell of the sea. The lucky children who can attend school chase each other in endless games, while the women do their daily shopping.
Jimin needs to cross the heart of the city and then turn right three times before he can reach the road that leads to his job, located on the hill opposite to the populated area. It's a restricted road, so the hustle and bustle fades, but the smell of sea salt doesn't return, even with the ocean right in front of the enormous communication towers. The silence surrounding the scientific-military base is as heavy as iron, only the faint hum of wires can be heard, and a sharp scent of detergent lingers in every corner.
Jimin shows his ID to the soldiers guarding the entrance. The men's piercing gazes never soften, and although they recognize him, they only nod at his polite greeting before allowing him entry to the base. His bicycle can't be left behind, so Jimin pedals towards the radio station near the edge of the precipice at the top of the hill.
“Good morning, hyung!” Jimin greets Namjoon, who is also swiping his card in the bundy clock.
“Jimin-ssi,” Namjoon greets him back and smiles, “is that a new haircut?”
“Mom wanted to experiment,” Jimin replies, somehow embarrassed.
His fingers immediately run through the short, dark strands. Jimin misses how long his hair had been getting; just last Friday morning he could tuck it behind his ears, the ends tickling his neck.
“You're not sporting a haircut appropriate for these facilities, Park.”
“You look younger now,” Namjoon says with a reserved air.
His friend must have guessed the real reason for the haircut, but he doesn't mention it for both their sakes. There's always someone listening in this place.
“Almost as cute as in elementary school,” Namjoon adds, ruffling Jimin’s hair.
Jimin wrinkles his nose and removes the older man's fingers from his head.
"I could take your job soon, hyung, don't forget that."
Both Namjoon and Jimin were selected to work for the government as soon as the teachers noticed their intellectual abilities, so they received an above-average education. They are lucky, not many can find jobs away from the harsh sun and sand.
“I shouldn’t have taught you how to calibrate the equipment,” Namjoon laments jokingly.
The truth is that Jimin is a great student.
“You’re too smart to spend the whole day listening to useless sounds.” Jimin can still hear the officer's voice.
Actually, the base's communications officer has asked Namjoon to train Jimin so he can be promoted soon. Jimin is grateful for the recognition, yet another part of him remains too attached to those “useless sounds.”
It's not about the logistical instructions, Morse code messages, or words in languages Jimin can't understand when a foreign signal crosses the frequency. It's the thrill of deciphering a pattern and remembering it, even if he heard it weeks before, or discovering whether what he hears is a human voice or just a storm. It’s the feeling of waiting for the unexpected.
But it's also the certainty that Jimin isn't directly involved in a new war, that he doesn’t have to take part in battles that will cost more lives. Thinking that way is dangerous, so Jimin remains silent and follows orders. It’s the only way to feed his parents and older brother and to pay the monthly bills.
The day passes like any other. Besides the usual messages, Jimin entertains himself with a new sound pattern that Namjoon continues to attribute to simple ionospheric reflections, that is, radio waves colliding with the layer of the Earth's atmosphere that allows their passage.
At six o'clock, their replacements arrive to cover the night shift, Jimin says goodbye to Namjoon and pedals down the hill. The sky begins to darken, the children's cries are replaced by the lament of lonely souls. By the time Jimin finds himself back by the ocean on the opposite hill, the sea salt caresses his skin and the stars dot the sky in incredible patterns. Stargazing, Jimin thinks about the brief lessons he once had about the universe and stops at the top of the hill to observe in stillness.
“Light from the past”
That's what we see in the stars, some are so far away that we observe them as they were millions of years ago. Jimin thinks it's sad he'll never see the stars as they are now, but he knows that he's seeing the stars of past generations, and future generations will see his, which makes human time a wonderful distortion.
“Were you on the hill again?” Jimin’s mother asks when he enters their home’s kitchen.
Jimin may have lost track of time… again.
His mother wipes her hands on her apron and looks knowingly at Jimin. Several pots are steaming on the stove with dinner ready to be eaten and Jimin hands his mother a sack of rice.
“If the stars are there, why not observe them?” Jimin says. “What else can we do with them?”
“Being so far away, not much, I suppose,” his mother replies.
“Leave them where they belong,” Jyhie says, as he enters the kitchen, the limp in his left leg is more pronounced than usual.
Jimin sighs at his older brother's cutting remark. Sometimes he wishes Jyhie would be kinder to life, but Jimin knows it's selfish of him to think that way. Jimin doesn’t know what the war was like in the front lines, unlike his brother, because his job was limited to doing the same thing he does now, but at a different facility, near the border. Jimin only heard stories, while the things Jyhie must have seen and done, even if he doesn’t talk about them, couldn't have been nice.
“If we had left them where they belong, we wouldn’t even know that time exists,” Jimin continues, though he knows it’s best to remain silent.
“We wouldn’t have sailed either,” Jyhie says, “then everyone would have stayed where they fucking belong and nobody would have killed for a piece of land.”
Jimin doesn't respond to that, not seeing the crisis in his brother's eyes. His mouth opens, searching for a word of comfort or an apology, but nothing comes out of his lips, and the silence stretches on for painful seconds.
“Jimin, go find your father, dinner is ready,” his mother asks to defuse the conflict.
His parents believe that Jimin is always the source of conflict.
Jimin nods and heads for the exit. Looking over his shoulder, he sees his mother place a hand on Jyhie's back, which his brother rejects. Even so, Jimin knows his mother will always prefer the son who was not a coward during the war.
The next morning Jimin is disconcerted to notice that the usual silence of the base is interrupted by engines, workers moving from one side to the other, and a cluster of voices.
“What’s going on?” Jimin asks Namjoon curiously.
“I’m not sure,” Namjoon says quietly, and Jimin understands that they need to be cautious with their conversation, so he turns off his intercom.
“Hoseok heard about a new project last week,” Namjoon continues, “it’s a big one, Hoseok says it might have something to do with space travel.”
Jimin feels surprised for the first time since he started working at this base.
"Space travel? Like, those foreign space programs you hear on the radio?"
Namjoon nods slowly.
“They don’t want anyone else to achieve this,” Namjoon says, “not after what happened with the Russian satellite.”
On the streets, people are talking about a new war. Jimin has heard it, a war that the radio and the new television in the bar try to downplay by calling it “The Space Race.” The United States of America and Russia are fighting to prove who’s technologically superior and advanced enough to send a human to the moon, which ultimately demonstrates who has the greatest power to conquer the world.
“What can we give them?” Jimin asks.
"Low-profile research, cheap labor, and a profound ignorance of knowledge,” Namjoon answers.
Jimin knows that everyday life as he knows it is just a facade. Society is manipulated like a puppet, its strings pulled by powerful figures who remain in the shadows.
“So are we going to…?” Jimin begins, but he’s interrupted by someone bursting into the headquarters.
“Park, Kim,” the communications officer says, “come with me to the boardroom.”
Jimin will get an answer to his question sooner than later.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
“They want us to monitor enemy movements,” Jimin explains. “The messages being sent, what their satellites are transmitting, and… when they will send someone to the moon.”
Jimin says the last part with some hesitation because it's still too hard for him to believe that a human would be able to travel into space.
“The moon?” Jungkook asks with genuine excitement.
Strictly speaking, Jimin signed a confidentiality agreement and shouldn't be talking about this with anyone, but Jungkook is his best friend, so he makes an exception. Besides, if he doesn't tell him, Namjoon will.
“Did you ignore the part where I have to act like a fucking spy?” Jimin laments.
“But it’s for science, right?” Jungkook says.
“Nothing we do is just for a reason, everything we do is political, Jungkook-iie.”
“You’ve spent too much time with Namjoon hyung,” Jungkook jokes.
But it's not a lie, Jimin spends more time with Namjoon than with his family.
“Write down everything you hear, hyung,” Jungkook suggests after a moment. “Not just on the radio, but in the barracks, in the hallways, at the market… In the future, someone will read your journal and know there were two sides of the story.”
It is not surprising that Jungkook was also selected to receive a higher education after the summer.
“You’ve spent too much time in love with Namjoon hyung,” Jimin jokes this time.
Jungkook just blushes before bumping Jimin's shoulder playfully.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
The first week almost feels as if Jungkook is right. Jimin and Namjoon are instructed in scientific concepts, advances in the astronomical field they hadn't heard of before, and the officers even reveal some of the objectives the program at this base aims to achieve. But then they are taught a coded language and told what things to listen for and write down, and what they need to report but not question, as well as which frequencies they should monitor.
Spy.
They are going to spy.
Of course, what Jimin hears during his first week under the new orders makes it really seem like simple “monitoring,” even with the new capabilities of the radio towers. It feels as if he's still doing the same old job, only this time he's writing down words he doesn't always understand. His English and Russian are limited to simple conversations, not scientific theories about conquering planets and defying the laws of gravity.
On Wednesday, Namjoon comes down with a terrible cold that the base doctor diagnoses as influenza, so on Thursday Jimin is left alone. The radio channels have been dead for most of the day, so Jimin thinks maybe the Russians have influenza too.
Bored and nodding off, Jimin does something he's never done before. Using the radio channel with the longest range —which he now has access to— Jimin searches for the same frequency he'd heard almost two weeks ago, the sound Namjoon described as waves colliding with the atmosphere. It takes him several minutes, and for a moment he thinks Namjoon was right. But then he finally finds it.
This time the pattern sounds intensified, each wave of sound is spaced further apart. Jimin turns up the volume, pressing the earbuds against his ears as if that might clear the interference. He slowly turns one of the knobs on the control panel, the static tightens, and something begins to emerge that isn't just a random sound.
They are words.
Korean words cut through the interference, so Jimin's heart begins to pound and the urge to report what he’s hearing surges ‘cause that's what he'd been trained to do. However, Namjoon’s not here, so to report Jimin needs to go out and find their officer, but he should check the message first, right?, to verify it’s indeed something important.
Jimin turns the knob one millimeter more and finally he can hear the words clearly, a clarity unlike any message Jimin has ever tuned into before.
“...activated. I repeat, the coordinates provided were incorrect. The AI system is damaged. I am adrift in an unidentified space zone. Survival protocol activated.”
The voice is deep but melodious, like raindrops falling on a rooftop on a calm summer afternoon. The man speaking sounds professional and calm despite his strange message, which Jimin is instinctively writing down.
“...I’m astronaut Kim Taehyung. I’m seeking communication with the South Korean space station. I repeat, I’m Kim Taehyung. I’m seeking communication with the South Korean space station.”
Jimin drops the pencil he's using to write.
What the fuck did that man just say?
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
Seoul, 2090.
Rice for the journey back to earth.
Taehyung hums along to the Frank Sinatra song playing in the spacecraft. Fly Me to the Moon is an interesting allegory for this moment, but he's grateful he brought a long playlist, the silence of the space has never felt before so… silent. It might have something to do with the current state of his mission. Taehyung left Earth two months ago, but the last two weeks have easily felt like years.
During his studies, Taehyung read and heard about failed missions, which usually involved spacecraft malfunctions, technological limitations, or the astronauts' own errors. In his case… Taehyung still doesn't fully understand what happened, but it has nothing to do with any of those things.
The coordinates used are the ones that had been planned, Taehyung has already verified them hundreds of times. The ship is in perfect condition —only the AI system is dead— and he has activated all the required protocols. However, he knows he may be facing one last problem: unpredictable obstacles. Calculations can fail, leading to incorrect coordinates, and although he and several colleagues calculated those numbers, no human can be completely error-free.
This leads him to the next unpredictable obstacle: Taehyung doesn't know the region of the universe he's in. He doesn't know if his messages are traveling correctly or even at the right time; conditions in space are different everywhere.
Therefore, his messages could be lost in the vastness of space, traveling slower than it should. In a few decades, someone on the space station will receive them and at least they will be able to find out what happened to Kim Taehyung, the astronaut lost during his third mission.
So Taehyung decides he will continue sending the recordings of his travel log, because if someone is going to tell his story in 50 years, he wants them to do it correctly, using Taehyung's own testimony.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
Taehyung's parents divorced when he was just a baby. With his father out of the picture, unwilling to be a part of his life, Taehyung grew up under the care of his mother and grandmother. Throughout his childhood, Taehyung was surrounded by the affection of a warm grandmother and the difficult love of a resentful mother, so the feeling of having to achieve something was always present.
Taehyung loved to watch the same movie hundreds of times and count the seconds it took the elevator to take him to the entrance of the school suspended hundreds of meters above the ground. Science had captivated him from the very beginning, because he thought it was humanity's way of avoiding mistakes through a meticulous dissection of facts.
Is there a right time to have a certain experience? Is there a correct calculation that avoids resentment?
At times, Taehyung found himself compiling a list of factors before daring to experience anything, even without meaning to. Because the correct calculation had to lead him to the right result.
Seoul in 2090 is one of the largest cities on Earth. Its illuminated skyscrapers, high-speed trains, and smart technology at every corner surpass those of many other nations. War finally seems distant, solar energy is at its peak, and humanity moves with tranquility, like the brief moment after a hurricane when the sun illuminates the suspended water, drowning out the noise and ushering in a great rebirth.
Every night, Taehyung would go for a run in the nature reserve outside his building, which still bursts into pink petals during the spring. The cherry blossoms aren't as abundant as they were 100 years ago, but they're still a sight to behold. Brigades part of the Environmental Guard have created beautiful spots, patches of green in a metallic world, like the first rays illuminating a ravaged coastline.
Running through the night mist, the cool air tickling his skin, warm from exertion, and the lights shimmering around him, Taehyung almost felt like he was in space, weightless, surrounded by stars and silence. In those moments, life seemed to boil down to a simple equation: two factors, a human and a world, combined into a single result, life upon life, existing until it ceases to exist.
“Not everything has an explanation, Taehyung,” said his last boyfriend.
Taehyung loved him. Actually, he had loved many people before him, but the incomplete part of himself, still living inside his skin, struggled to believe those words. Taehyung thinks that even the end of his last relationship is the result of multiple calculated factors.
Because what is life but one explanation after another? The flapping of a butterfly that leads to a tornado.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
“Travel Log No. 2,” Taehyung begins, looking into the spacecraft’s small camera, “I’m Kim Taehyung. I was assigned to a rescue mission two and a half months ago by the South Korean space station, with a launch date of May 2, 2090. The mission is currently suspended, as I’m lost in an unknown area without a viable return route given my fuel level and without an AI system to analyze possible alternatives. I sent a message that’s still unanswered, so I have started this video diary as a form of testimony. The first phase of the mission was successfully completed…”
Taehyung explains the details of his mission, but keeps the personal aspects out of it; he'll have time to talk about those later. When he turns off the camera, he eats a new package of rice for breakfast. He's done the math: if he rations it, the food will be enough for three more months. After that… Taehyung will have to make a difficult decision.
“Don't forget to bring rice when you return.”
That's what Taehyung's grandmother said to him as a farewell before his first mission; it was her way of making him come back. Taehyung even bought a bag of rice at the first supermarket outside the space station and gave it to his grandmother as soon as he got home. His grandmother passed away before he completed the long, eight-month journey of his second mission, but returning home with a bag of rice still feels like an eternal promise made to her.
With those memories in mind, Taehyung realizes he's still not ready to record farewell messages to his mother and friends, somehow hope still clings to him. He keeps considering the possibilities, all the factors that could come together to rescue him.
But eating another spoonful of rice, he finally allows himself to cry.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
“I’m 28 years old, I was born in Daegu on a bitterly cold winter night. I studied aerospace engineering and… This is starting to sound like a resume. I like jazz and having dinner by moonlight? I guess that sounds more like a dating profile now,” Taehyung huffs and runs his hands over his face.
“Sorry, my travel logs are usually boring and full of technical aspects, not an official source to my biography,” Taehyung laughs. “If you write something about me, please don’t mention that time I devoured a bunch of dumplings before practice and then threw them up all over the floor…”
Taehyung feels so strange recording this; the idea of being lost in space hasn't quite sunk in yet. The idea that these messages aren't being heard, and might never be, is something they don’t teach you before going to space. He talks for several minutes about his professional background and then about his family, but Taehyung still thinks it's not what he should be talking about. Is there a right way to make these travel logs slash video diaries?
“I think that music is the only thing that has kept me sane right now, the sound makes the ship less terrifying, the silence is certainly disturbing at times,” in the background Elvis Presley’s It’s Now or Never begins to play, and the lyrics are a hard blow for Taehyung, so he starts to hum for a couple of seconds, lost in his memories.
I spent a lifetime
Waiting for the right time
Now that you're near
The time is here, at last
It's now or never
Come hold me tight
Kiss me my darling
Be mine tonight
“All these years I planned every single move in my life,” Taehyung reveals. “I believed that control would allow me to experience all things, but right now it feels like I’ve been stuck in the ‘Never’ instead of the ‘Now’.”
Taehyung lets the song play while he continues to reflect, a tear falls down his cheek so during the last chords he turns off the camera.
‘If you could take the 'now', what would you do?’
Maybe Taehyung can talk about it in tomorrow's log.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
The flashing red light indicating an incoming message disconcerts Taehyung to some extent. His surge of excitement clashes with the logical part of his mind, which had thought it would be impossible to be rescued after so many days without a response.
Taehyung cautiously sits down at the console to play the voice recording, staring at the red light for a couple of seconds as if waiting for it to disappear in the next blink of an eye. However, when he presses the necessary commands to play it through the ship's speakers, only a series of fragments of a distorted voice mixed with interference plays, and the screen that transcribes it fills with symbols.
That’s strange.
It's as if the message is damaged, but even with its long journey from Earth to the spacecraft it shouldn't have suffered any modification; of course, it could have collided with a solar storm or an electromagnetic field, but the whole distortion makes it look like a message from another world.
Did Taehyung just discover aliens?
The rest of the morning Taehyung focuses on decoding the message. His busy mind is suddenly motivated, and when he finally manages to repair the recording, he takes a breath before playing it again. White noise fills the interior of the ship, sounding like the interference of an incredibly old radio. Finally, a voice comes through; the speech is still somewhat distorted, but Taehyung understands every word.
He doesn't recognize the voice; the person speaking is cautious, their tone sounds soft but lonely, stirring something in Taehyung's stomach.
“This is Park Jimin, an assistant radio operator at the Busan Military Science Base. I received your messages and I'm not quite sure how to interpret them. The date is May 6, 1960…”
Taehyung is petrified upon hearing the date.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
Busan, 1960.
The eternal winter.
Jimin is walking towards one of the most popular bars in the city. The place's fame exists from the fact that the authorities don't usually patrol it closely, since the owner is having an affair with a high-ranking security official, resulting in an incredibly free-spirited atmosphere compared to the rest of the city.
Although he tries not to think about it, Jimin continues to debate whether he made the right decision by not telling Namjoon or any other superior about the messages he has heard these past couple of days, whether this will end up causing him to lose his job or worse, be punished and imprisoned, accused of being a spy and supporting the enemy side.
Which side is the enemy?
Jimin doesn’t know anymore.
So it's true that syntonizing that specific radio frequency has felt like a rebellious act every time, but Jimin can't help feeling curious, even when he's told himself he should just leave things as they are.
Jimin tore down the first message he had transcribed and threw it away, thinking it must be a joke. An astronaut lost in outer space? The base’s towers don't even have the power to receive messages from that far away. Besides, there isn't a space station in South Korea, and neither Russia nor the United States has sent humans into space. Who do they think Jimin is?
However, today's message has left him somewhat perplexed.
It felt personal in many ways. The astronaut, Kim Taehyung, talked about music, his life, and his family. Why would anyone bother sending messages as a joke with this kind of information? Some of it still felt fictional to Jimin, like the guy’s supposed occupation, the mission he described, and obviously the fact that he was completely lost in the middle of outer space on a high-tech spacecraft. But the sincerity in his voice made Jimin wonder. Was this some kind of radio drama lost in the airwaves?
Jimin doesn't know what to think anymore.
The bar is moderately full when Jimin enters. A few glances fall on him, men Jimin has fuck with, some married, others brave enough to keep coming to this place but not brave enough to admit they aren't attracted to women. Most aren't worth his time, but it's not like Jimin can afford to have anything better.
He finds Jungkook and Namjoon at a table in the middle of the place and sits down with them; a glass of barley soju is already waiting for him. His friends are sitting close together, because even in this worn-out world, some people can still find that something better, and Jimin is happy that at least his friends have it.
Jungkook talks about the preparations he's making to start his further studies, the books he's started reading, and what his future professors have said about him. His friend might even join them at the science base at some point, not in the radio room, but with the scientists, with Hoseok, surrounded by computers, experiments, and secrets.
Jimin doesn't know why the conversation makes him feel so nostalgic; it's as if the world he lives in is moving too slowly. There are so many things Jimin wants to experience, but sometimes it feels like the ocean and the sky separate him from the vast universe that exists outside.
So after a while, Jimin gets up and heads to the bar to buy a better drink for his friends, a better drink for himself, something that won't make him feel suffocated in this place, which is too small and plain. He orders rice liquor and studies his surroundings to stay focused. The radio is playing a compilation of Western Rock & Roll, so Jimin drums his fingers to the beat.
“...bringing you the latest in American trending music, the new single from Elvis Presley, released just a few hours ago on the other side of the globe. Now playing ‘It's now or never’...” the radio host says as the current song ends, and Jimin's heart skips a beat.
He turns to look at the device, as if the radio host were about to correct himself. He doesn't. The song starts, and Jimin immediately recognizes the melody, as well as many of the words the American singer begins to sing.
It's the song Kim Taehyung was listening to in that last message, the song Jimin had never heard before, and the one that baffled him most of all. Jimin likes Elvis Presley and he thought he knew all of his music, so when he didn’t recognize the song he thought it must be another artist, but…
Could everything Taehyung said be real?
The fact that he’s an astronaut from the next century, lost in space, whose messages have somehow reached Jimin on his radio frequency across time. The song continues, and there's no doubt that Jimin heard a song from the future before its release.
So on the way home Jimin stops, as he often does, at the top of the hill, facing the night that blankets the ocean like a second body of water, dark and heavy, unfamiliar and imposing to his small figure. This time, as he gazes at the stars, he thinks of Kim Taehyung.
If the stars shine with light from the past, why couldn't Jimin be receiving messages from the future?
So he decides he will send another reply.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
“Aren’t you going to have lunch today either?” Namjoon asks, about to go eat the rice and dried fish that his sister has cooked for them.
“I’ll catch up with you in a few minutes,” Jimin says, trying to focus on what he hears in his headphones.
“Okay but don’t take too long,” Namjoon agrees and leaves the headquarters.
Jimin hears the door close and looks over his shoulder just to be sure, he doesn't feel confident tuning into Taehyung’s radio frequency with someone around, not even Namjoon.
Does that make him a bad friend?
Jimin doesn't think so ‘cause he doesn't know the consequences of what he's doing might be, so it's better that no one else gets involved.
For a second, he thinks all of this is still a joke, a hallucination even. Jimin sent a reply yesterday, but that doesn't mean Kim Taehyung will hear it, right? The technology Jimin has shouldn't be able to reach space, yet he knows it shouldn't be able to receive signals from space either. Anyway, Jimin mentioned the date in the message he sent, so there's no room for any other interpretation.
Perhaps the radio in his headquarters has somehow become Kim Taehyung's only means of communication, and perhaps the astronaut's spacecraft is capable of overcoming technological barriers. So Jimin tunes into the frequency faster than before, and as soon as he does he presses a couple of buttons, a message is heard immediately.
“This is Kim Taehyung, and this is a message for Park Jimin…”
Jimin holds his breath when he hears his name.
“I suppose other people might immediately dismiss the message you sent me,” Taehyung continues, “but given my current situation, I have no choice but to believe it. The universe works in strange ways; time doesn't move the same way it does on Earth. Besides, I wouldn't be a good scientist if I rejected the extraordinary just because it sounds implausible,” Jimin can hear a small smile.
“I imagine it must be harder for you to believe all this than it is for me, so I appreciate that you sent a reply. What made you consider it? I'm not the most talkative person, and I'm not entirely sure of how this will work, but if I could learn more about your situation, I think it would be a good start. Who are you, Park Jimin?”
Jimin decides to answer when his shift is over, after Namjoon has left and everyone is busy with the shift change. But while eating the rice Namjoon offers him during lunch, he can't stop thinking about the astronaut's question.
“Who are you, Park Jimin?”
Jimin is a son and a brother. He's an ordinary boy trying to survive. He's an auxiliary radio operator. He's a product of war. He's a spy. Jimin is a cherry blossom bud suspended in an eternal winter, like all the youth around him.
Is that what Taehyung needs to be rescued?
Probably not.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
Unidentified area, 2090.
An echo from the past.
Taehyung decodes the new message he just received. Twelve hours have passed since he heard the last one, but he doesn't dare to calculate Jimin's earth time. If Jimin replies immediately, it means there's a significant delay, and if he replies a day later, then time is on his side, which would only give him false hope. In any case, Taehyung plays the message and listens to it attentively.
“Hello… Uhm… This is Jimin. We're the same age and you used informal language with me, so I guess I can talk to you in the same way… but you can correct me if I'm wrong.”
Taehyung smiles. Jimin's voice is really soft.
“Do my messages come through completely? I don't want to say too much…” Jimin breaks off. “My shift at the base just ended. I'm an auxiliary radio operator here, I receive and send messages… important ones. I'm working on a new base project, a space project, shit… I can't reveal this lightly, you know. I'm risking my life on this, but you've said so much too… Although I haven't understood much of it, so I'm at a disadvantage.”
Taehyung guesses that Jimin must be overwhelmed by the information he has given him. South Korea didn't send anyone into space until, what, 2008? What's more, not even Russia or the United States had managed to send anyone by Jimin's year, so he must have thought Taehyung was crazy or playing a joke on him. Not to mention that, considering Jimin's year, World War II is still a recent event, and his country is just rising from the ashes.
“I have an older brother, I live with him and my parents on a hill surrounded by the ocean… My grandmother died a long time ago. We live in the capital, Busan is flourishing again, the fish is fresh, the children are starting to go to school…”
Jimin sighs.
“I'll be honest with you, Taehyung, I don't think I'm the right person to help you. I'm sorry your message reached me and not someone else. I'm sorry it got lost in time and ended up in the weakest possible place. If I tell my superiors about you, they might accuse me of being crazy or a spy, and…” Jimin now sounds frustrated. “That's me. They say the war is over, but it feels like the opposite…”
A couple of seconds pass.
“Oh, I forgot,” Jimin says, sounding less stressed, “the reason I decided to reply is because I heard Elvis in your message… The song hadn't been released here,” Jimin laughs weakly, and Taehyung feels a pang of guilt. “I mean, in this time, I heard it on the radio yesterday and I knew you couldn't be lying… It's a good song…” There's background noise. “Oh, I really have to go now, the new shift is about to start. I'm really sorry.”
Taehyung listens to Jimin's breathing for another long moment.
“I have to say goodbye now but… Taehyung-ah, what is a satellite?”
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
So, Taehyung may have been a bit careless with his messages. To be fair, he thought the travel logs (or their audio) would reach the South Korean space station in 2090, not a military science base in Busan 130 years ago. Of course, Jimin isn't to blame for this, but Taehyung knows he needs to be more careful about what he says now.
Contrary to what Jimin thinks, this is precisely what Taehyung may need; the possibilities are endless, some sound like science fiction movies of the new century, but Taehyung must hold on to something, and if Jimin agrees to help him then not everything is lost.
Taehyung has several ebooks in his collection, so he's been reading some history lately. South Korea wasn't a safe place in Jimin's time; maybe no place in the world was. Paranoia, war, famine… all of them could turn anyone into an enemy. If Jimin is caught listening to and sending messages unsupervised, even if it's to a lost astronaut from the future, he could be in serious trouble.
But now Taehyung knows he limited his mind, “now or never,” “present or future,” he hadn’t thought about the past, about what came before, and now he has an echo of it. It could be considered a miracle, since in 2090 time travel is still not possible, but his scientific mind considers it a discovery, and if Taehyung manages to find the right formula into this, he may have a chance to return home.
Of course, using Jimin as a tool for returning home sounds colder than intended. If Jimin decides to remain as mere company for his last weeks of life, at least it could be a less painful process than the one he imagined a couple of days back.
Taehyung glances with a touch of amusement at another book in his collection; surely every astronaut on the South Korean Space Station has one of these in their virtual libraries. He read it out of obligation several years ago, it contains a bunch of historical facts and a parade of dates impossible to memorize completely.
History of the South Korean Space Station, he reads the title without much interest. The memorial on the first few pages, filled with oval photographs of distinguished personnel, parades in the hologram moving before him. They are faces Taehyung had observed without giving them too much thought before; however, this time, upon encountering a particular photo, Taehyung stops cautiously.
A man with a solemn expression looks at him from the projection; his eyes are soft and a little sad, his nose is small, and his thick lips occupy a large part of his face. He is a handsome man, actually, he’s really pretty and he seems to be hiding more than one secret behind his gaze.
Park Jimin. Communications Officer.
The echoes of the past can fade away or repeat themselves until they become an idea.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
Busan, 1960.
The last glimpse of Earth.
Jimin arrives at the base almost twenty minutes earlier than usual. He knows the night shift must be having breakfast in the mess hall, so he'll be able to check Taehyung's frequency before Namjoon arrives. As he expected, there's a reply to his message from yesterday. Jimin told Taehyung he couldn't help him, but he still hoped for one last message, a farewell for both of them, and it seems he was right.
“Hey Jimin. Your messages can be as long as you want, don't worry about that. You also don't need to worry about what you told me, I promise to be discreet.” Taehyung says, sounding sincere. “The space food bag didn't seem too interested in the guy from Busan working as a government spy,” he jokes and, for some reason, Jimin smiles, feeling genuinely amused.
“I'm sorry if I sounded like a madman in my other messages. I'll be more careful. Who knows, I might reveal too much and tell you that you'll become the leader of South Korea… Oh…” Taehyung jokes again, and Jimin chuckles softly. “To answer your question, a satellite is like a giant radio tower. Humans found a way to place them into space to expand our communication range. I guess we were trying to connect the world so it wouldn't fall apart again.”
Jimin likes the sound of that, but why does it seem like Taehyung…
“My mission was to retrieve something similar to one of those devices, which we placed in a remote location, but it turns out I miscalculated the distance and now, as you know, I'm lost.”
Taehyung takes a moment; Jimin can sense where this is going.
“I like Busan; I've visited it a couple of times. The ocean is one of my favorite places in the world; my grandmother used to love it too… I'd be lying if I didn't say I wish I could see it again.” Taehyung takes a breath, “Jimin, I think you're the right person to help me and if you'd like, I think we can think of something.”
No. Jimin can't do it.
“I won't force you to do it. I know it's dangerous, and you know it too, so I won't ask for anything more than... if possible, to keep talking to you. Right now, I could really use a friend. Loneliness could drive me crazy, and somehow you've become my only company. I'm sorry about that; it's not an easy burden.”
Jimin feels his eyes fill with tears, as Taehyung's voice has broken a little.
“Jimin-ah, you are the Earth to me right now. So if my last glimpse of Earth will be of you, I'm willing to take it.”
The message ends with a heavy, white noise in the background, like waves crashing on sand. What Taehyung said is almost painful. Jimin is afraid; he wouldn't know how to help him even if he agreed. His knowledge is limited, and he's weak… He always has been. He's not like his brother; he's not a war hero.
“Jimin-ah, good day,” Namjoon greets.
Jimin quickly turns his head; the sound of Namjoon's voice makes him jump and brings him back to reality.
“You arrived early, have you had a good breakfast?” his friend asks.
Jimin takes off his headphones and breathes.
“Uh, yeah, mom made some kimchi for both of us… Good morning, hyung.”
“You shouldn’t work so hard,” Namjoon says, putting his things away. “Are you trying to steal my job faster?”
His hyung jokes, but Jimin hears a certain sadness in his voice.
“What’s wrong?” Jimin asks.
Namjoon looks at him, sadness is also darkening his eyes, his friend opens his mouth to answer, but the door of the barracks opening interrupts him.
“Kim, Park!” Jimin and Namjoon stand up and greet the communications officer as he enters the barracks. “Meeting, now.”
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
“We are the future. Your work must live up to it.”
Jimin observes Namjoon's profile. Like Jimin, his friend chose this path, to work with his mind instead of his body. But unlike Jimin, Namjoon wouldn't hesitate to join the fight. Perhaps he will someday.
“Jungkook told me this morning,” Namjoon says.
Jimin's mother's kimchi, something they both usually celebrate whenever it's prepared, is being ignored at this moment; the top of the hill brings with it a cool breeze that seems to be poisoned upon contact with the base.
“I should have known,” Namjoon continues, “Jungkook fits the profile.”
During the meeting, in addition to the new tasks assigned to each area and the addition of personnel to Jimin's headquarters, the true nature of the project they are working on was also revealed. It isn't just about an alliance, or their participation in this new and silent technological war. It's about something bigger. It's about the future.
“Today's work will determine our reach tomorrow. We are the foundation for the next stage of conquest; Earth is no longer the only home we have, space is the new objective.”
Jimin couldn't stop thinking about the base's new name: South Korean Space Station. Was this the world's way of telling him he should help Taehyung?
“He’ll be leaving in a week,” Namjoon adds.
Namjoon’s sadness is not about their new responsibilities.
“Jungkook was drafted into the navy.”
Jimin must have guessed it; his younger friend had always been strong and talented at everything he set his mind to. Because of that, Jungkook is going to study to become someone, but he’s going to do it far away, out on the ocean, while he and Namjoon will remain on land. Families are constantly being torn apart in this sadistic game of chess, where borders and territories are nothing more than squares assigned a value by higher powers.
Jimin and Namjoon don't say anything else, there's no need, but Jimin can see his friend looking at the ocean for the first time with disgust.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
Jimin arrives home later than usual, having taken Namjoon to a nearby bar after their shift ended, letting his friend drink all the barley soju he wanted. Namjoon cried on his shoulder but didn't reveal the true reason for his broken heart; there was no need. Jimin knew, and he supposed that admitting love aloud only made the loss more tangible.
His family is in the living room; Jimin's father is teaching Jyhie strategies for playing baduk, a prestigious game that's one of his father's favorites, but to his disappointment, Jyhie has never been a good player. Jimin greets them quietly and sits in a corner, as his parents' attention isn't on him at the moment.
The sight of dark glass pieces moving across the worn board makes Jimin nauseous; the game’s objective mirrors that of war: conquering territory in a worn-out world until victory. Ironically, Jimin is a great baduk player.
“Jungkook will join the navy,” Jimin announces unexpectedly when the silence settles; it is his father’s turn and he is looking at the board with interest.
“The Navy pays good,” he says, and moves a piece.
It pays better than that of a radio assistant, his father omits to add but it's implied.
“It is an honor to contribute to this nation from its ranks,” his father adds, and silence returns.
It's his older brother's turn, Jyhie looks at the board looking stressed, after a few seconds his hand reaches out to make a move.
“To the left,” Jimin murmurs, correcting Jyhie’s move.
“I can do it myself,” he replies irritably.
“Jimin, let your brother play on his own,” says his father.
The pieces continue to move, and Jimin mentally corrects both players' mistakes. In the end, his father wins the game. Jyhie complains about the weather and then limps to his room. His father moves the pieces back three turns and looks at Jimin.
“End this game,” his father orders him.
Jimin approaches quietly, he knows exactly what to do, and even with Jyhie's inexperienced play he defeats his father in impressive successive plays.
“You should use that mind for something important,” his father says.
The man looks annoyed, not because he lost, but because of Jimin's life choices. He has always been disappointed, and it's not just about his job; it's about his personality, about… Jimin not looking for a wife, not acting the way a man is supposed to. But no order or disappointed glance from his father has been able to change who he is, so Jimin has accepted that some things in this world are immovable.
His father gets up and also heads to his room, followed by his mother. Jimin stares at the board for a few more seconds, “Something important.” What's happening at the base is important; his parents might approve of him, if he tells them about it. However, his mind involuntarily drifts to Taehyung.
Helping Taehyung is also important, but would his parents approve of it? Probably not; it's dangerous and a waste of time. Looking at the board, Jimin can see how his father would've been able to defeat him too.
Could Jimin be able to find a way to help Taehyung while also being a good son? Or is that also something immovable?
Lying in his bed, with the moon illuminating the walls and the wind creating melodies alongside the crickets, Jimin’s mind conjures up impossibilities. He thinks about the future, Taehyung sounds like a good person, someone free and confident. Is that how everyone will be? It sounds too good to be true, it sounds as if humanity could evolve.
Then, Jimin looks at his wardrobe. Inside, he keeps a book he's never dared to open. It's a science fiction story someone left behind at the base during the war, a book that tells about a future imagined by its author. Jimin gets up and reaches for the book.
Picking it up feels like holding something forbidden, a glimpse into a world he shouldn't know. The night has silenced the world, yet Jimin feels as if everyone can see him right now. However, his curiosity is stronger, so he lights a candle and begins to read.
Perhaps not everything is immovable, and the world Jimin knows is just a glimpse in time, a version ready to change.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
Unidentified area, 2090 & Busan, 1960.
The constant future.
After finishing recording his message, Taehyung lets his face fall onto the console in front of him, a sob escaping his mouth.
Is there really a solution to this?
“Not everything has an explanation.”
Perhaps Taehyung is being more idealistic than he should be; maybe he's just holding on to this because he has no other choice. He's clinging to Jimin and cornering him into the same fate as his own. Maybe he should let go of hope before it grows any stronger and live in the present without any other expectations. Hope that, in the best-case scenario, Jimin will accept being his friend and having his company until this has to die.
At least thirty-six full hours pass before Taehyung receives a new message. He had begun to think there would be no more messages from Jimin and was reconciling himself to the fact that the past is too dangerous for the future and vice versa. But now Jimin has made that decision for both of them.
“I'm sorry for the wait, Taehyung…” Jimin says, and hearing his voice makes Taehyung feel immediately calm.
“Sending this message wasn't an easy decision. Disappointing people isn't my strength, but neither is being brave... I'll be direct: I want to be your friend, and I promise I won't leave you alone... but I can't promise anything more right now, because I still don't understand this, and I think you don't either.”
Taehyung can feel a weight lifting from his shoulders.
“I also like jazz,” Jimin says, changing the subject, “American radio frequencies are always playing new music. A guy who works at the port got a radio and organizes gatherings to listen to all kinds of music. That's where I met my friends... their names are Namjoon and Jungkook. They're the only people I can talk to about anything... or almost anything.” Jimin chuckles softly. “I haven't told them about you yet, but now's not a good time. Jungkook is joining the navy in a few days... I'm going to miss him, you know? But not as much as Namjoon hyung…” Jimin trails off as if he's said something he shouldn't have.
Taehyung understands instantly that in Jimin's time, sexual orientation is still a taboo. Anything outside of heterosexuality brings reprimands in the military, while in society it generates rejection, seen as something unnatural. Taehyung wishes he could tell Jimin that in the future, many people will understand that love doesn't define a person's worth.
“They're good friends,” Jimin corrects, “they knew each other even before I met them, so it must be difficult to have someone you care about like that… someone you trust, I mean, and for the circumstances to be immovable. Do you have someone like that in your life? I'm sorry if you do, your family must miss you very much…”
Jimin takes a moment.
“Besides my friends, I don't think I can trust anyone else here. It's dangerous to trust, even more so than during the war. Saying or doing something suspicious can have consequences. I hope that's changed in the future… Oh, I started reading a book yesterday. An American soldier left it behind a few years ago. It's called 1984, and it's so mind-blowing.” Jimin sounds excited and begins to speak more quietly. “It's not something the base approves of reading, so you're the only person I can tell. The book is kind of terrifying. It describes a future that's very similar to what I'm living through, where people are watched all the time and the truth is manipulated. In it, love is punished, and the past is constantly being altered… I don't want that to happen here. Jungkook advised me to keep a journal to write down everything I see and hear. I haven't started it yet, but I think it could be important…”
Taehyung thinks about his own future, about all the pain, loss and manipulation that had to exist to get humanity where it is now and he pities Jimin. He realizes that if Jimin really wrote a journal, maybe he could find it in the station's virtual library.
“Love isn't forbidden in the future, right?” Jimin asks cautiously, “I’m- I'm not married yet... I know I should be, but sometimes so much happens around that time for love gets pushed aside. Still, I like the idea of love. When my time to love someone comes it will probably be terrifying. I think I'll love that person a little too much…”
There is background noise that mixes with Jimin's last words.
“I have to go, I think I talked too much, I'm sorry... Can I hear from you later?” and the message ends.
Taehyung remains in the same spot for a few seconds, digesting each of Jimin's words, then he plays the message again. He likes Jimin; the sound of his voice stirs a certain nostalgia in him.
At times, Jimin speaks as if Taehyung were someone close to him, and although they are actually two strangers, for some reason, Taehyung can sense a kind of trust that seems to form naturally between them. While other times Jimin seems like a distant tale from the past that Taehyung embraces to appreciate the future. His voice is soothing, filling the empty space of the spaceship.
When Taehyung listens to the message for the third time before replying, he imagines the boy he saw in the memorial in the station's history book. He can conjure up the image of Jimin speaking with a hint of sadness, a soul trapped in a complicated time.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
Jimin hears Taehyung's answer just before his shift ends. He doesn't know how the rules of the universe work, but he thinks it came pretty quickly. Did Taehyung reply immediately?
“I read 1984 when I was in college. I regret to say that the manipulation of truth and constant monitoring haven’t completely disappeared in the future, but I can assure you that love isn't forbidden, at least not officially. I think that, as throughout human history, loving nature, animals, or those who suffer remains as an act of rebellion and will always be subject to scrutiny.”
Taehyung is so eloquent, he's like Namjoon but much more aloof and funny.
“I've been thinking... talking too much about the future might be a bit unsettling for you, so I'll try to answer your questions without making it too bizarre. If anything makes you anxious, just let me know, okay?”
Jimin nods to himself; it's true that he doesn't want to know too much about the future, at least not so quickly. He thinks he might go crazy or something, because hearing that the future remains unchanged in some aspects is demotivating, as if the weight of certain events requires all of humanity to suffer the consequences in order to change.
“My family on Earth will be fine, I don't talk to my mother that much. She has built her own life far away since I joined the space station. I think the distance has made our relationship better, but it wasn't easy growing up around her. I was a baby and my father didn't want to be a father, so being a mother to her was a challenge. There's no other mystery surrounding my family... I forgave them for that a long time ago.”
Forgiving their parents. Could Jimin do that with his family? He finds the idea both terrifying and wonderful.
“I have a good friend on the space station and I think he'll be able to handle me not coming back. Yoongi is the most rational person I've ever met. He helped me plan this mission, so I just hope he doesn't feel guilty for too long. Calculations can go wrong…” There's something different about Taehyung's voice when he admits that, but it disappears when he starts talking again.
“I'm not married either. But unlike you, Jimin-ssi, I don't think I'm the best at loving people. When I love someone and it doesn't feel like it's going the way it should, I start to drift away…” Taehyung laughs. “This is starting to feel like a really bad first date. I'm not usually this boring in person, I swear. I guess you could write my biography by now… A biography written in the past about someone who wasn't even born yet. Doesn't that sound great?”
Jimin doesn't think Taehyung is boring, but the word “date” has made him glance around cautiously. How can Taehyung say that so casually? Jimin convinces himself to not overthink it, and definitely not to admit that Taehyung's voice is incredibly attractive. He sounds like he'd be six feet tall with unruly hair, just Jimin's type. But thoughts like that are dangerous, even with someone thousands of miles —and years— away.
“Jimin-ssi,” The sound of his name makes Jimin hyper-aware of his surroundings again, as if Taehyung had whispered it right in his ear. “I hope your friends can find a way not to lose each other. They sound like people who love better than we do, so I think they'll be okay…”
Jimin gasps for breath. Taehyung seems to have guessed that Namjoon and Jungkook's relationship isn't just a simple friendship, and he seems okay with it. Could it be that...?
If in the future the love of his friends, and Jimin's own feelings that he carries hidden because he isn't attracted to women, are protected by most, then it doesn't sound like a bad place. Another, even bolder thought crosses Jimin's mind, is Taehyung also like them?
“I'd love to read your journal. If you write one, leave a copy for me somewhere. I promise to come and get it when I return to Earth. Courage isn't always what you expect, Jimin, so I think you've been brave in ways that not many could be.”
Jimin is out of breath.
“Alright… I won't let our date end on a bad note, so since I already let you hear a song from the future, I don't think one more can hurt. I wish to hear from you soon, Jimin-ssi, I'll be waiting.”
Jimin listens to the song Taehyung puts on for him with a slight blush on his cheeks. He knows that Taehyung didn't say anything compromising, but his repeated mention of the word 'date' and the fact that he wants to keep listening to Jimin stirs something in his heart.
Not many people listen to Jimin, as if his words lose their value the moment they're out in the open. The men he's been with are only looking for one thing: an escape, something safe to satisfy their needs and then move on with an ordinary life. His parents prefer his brother, and his brother can barely stand Jimin for a few hours… It's a future that never changes, one from which Jimin longs to escape.
I see trees of green, red roses too.
I see them bloom, for me and you.
The song carries a soft, moving melody, and when the lyrics begin, Jimin can't help but smile with a hint of sadness. It isn't a painful sadness; it feels more like a long walk on the beach, tiring but rewarded with blue waves and warm sand.
And I think to myself… What a wonderful world.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
Busan, 1960.
The star’s luckiness
Jimin exchanges messages with Taehyung daily for five weeks.
By the middle of the second week, Jimin finds himself eagerly awaiting the end of his shift so he can finally listen to the astronaut. When he wakes up in the mornings and pedals along the ocean, all he can think about is the new words he'll hear from Taehyung, that voice he could now recognize anywhere. Dense as the fog over the beach yet warm as the sun that clears it, gliding through Jimin's mind like the sea over the sand. Perhaps Jimin is a little bit in love with Taehyung's voice.
Listening to Taehyung brings a sense of peace and something new into Jimin's life. Not only is Taehyung eloquent, but he also manages to joke and make Jimin laugh every time. Jimin doesn't think he's ever been able to talk to anyone the way he does with Taehyung, perhaps because Taehyung doesn't judge him. He feels like a star, distant and bright, fulfilling a wish Jimin didn't know he had: to have someone, like Namjoon has Jungkook.
So Jimin goes about his workday imagining what Taehyung is going to tell him, whether it will be some detail about the future he's trying to understand.
“What is a music playlist?”
“In the future, music can be stored in very small places, places that are invisible to the eye, so you can have all the music that has ever existed.”
“All the music that has ever existed? How can you live with something so wonderful?”
“Humans like to turn wonder into routine; sometimes it's okay to give up privileges in order to understand them.”
“Could you find a song for me, Taehyung? I heard it once on the radio, during the war. Music from all over the world filtered through the frequencies I was monitoring. I'll try to sing it... But I warn you, my voice isn't the best…”
They try to tell us we're too young
Too young to really be in love
“You sing splendidly, Jimin-ssi… The song is called Too Young by Nat King Cole…”
Or perhaps they will talk about secrets they haven't spoken about before.
“To me it's terrifying to imagine what heaven looks like, if it's a place without pain that God reserves for good people… I don't think I'll ever be able to see it.”
Jimin sends the message after having kissed and touched a man the night before, the secret in his chest so raw that he must share it as soon as possible, Taehyung will understand, Taehyung…
“I won't meet heaven either. Jimin-ssi, why would God condemn the desire for another man but not the murder of another man?”
Taehyung is like him. But Taehyung lives in peace.
“What does it feel like to live without fear?”
“How do you imagine heaven, Jimin-ssi?”
“If it's a place without pain, it must be living eternally in one of the happiest days of your life.”
“What day would that be for you?”
“A day at the beach. Namjoon and Jungkook were playing in the sea. I was on the shore watching the foam brush against my toes, smiling peacefully as I watched this little baby crab find a new home… What's yours?”
Each secret causes Jimin's heart to begin harboring a new, forbidden feeling.
They say that love's a word
A word we've only heard
But can't begin to know the meaning of
Sometimes Taehyung will tell him about a book Jimin doesn't have access to, or Jimin will remind him of life before the digital era. Then, for fleeting moments, they'll both wonder what it would be like to be in each other's time and talk face to face.
“I wish you could visit a club, Jimin-ssi, with good music. I know one that's awesome.”
“What's it like? Describe it to me, please, as if I could visit it…”
“The lighting is low, but luminous flashes of blue and white move across people's skin, like a human nebula. People wear all colors and styles. No one looks twice at anyone, and when they do, it's to get closer. The music vibrates in your ears; it's so loud that sometimes you can't speak, so you can only watch and laugh. There's... affection everywhere, without distinction. You can kiss whoever you want to kiss and fall in love with whoever you want to fall in love with... There are so many sensations that your skin tingles. I think that if you went to the club, a lot of people would be interested in you, Jimin-ssi... I'd have to fight for your attention.”
Sometimes, Jimin wishes Taehyung wouldn't say things like that, things that makes his heart race, that feels like an impossible promise.
“How do you look, Taehyung? Who should I look for amidst the lights?”
But other times it's easy to get carried away by the fantasy; Jimin dreams of Taehyung's voice, of encounters with a boy with an unknown face who takes his hand, who walks with Jimin through the city and on the beach, and who leans down to kiss him without any fear just before Jimin wakes up.
'”How do you think I look?”
“Dark hair… Taller than me, your hands are definitely bigger than mine, I’d have to look up to find your eyes, and if I wanted to get closer I’d have to stand on my tiptoes…”
“Would you come closer to me?”
“Yeah…”
Jimin's stomach clenches when he hears the question, his lips part, letting out a breath. Suddenly, his cheeks feel warm; he's blushing so he’s grateful that he's alone, the night shift still having dinner in the dining room.
“Would you like to kiss me?” Taehyung whispers.
“Yes…”
“I think about it all the time, have you ever kissed a man before?”
“I've done more than kiss a man.” Jimin reveals.
“That doesn't help,” Taehyung laughs humorlessly, “if I could kiss you before I die here, Jimin, I could prove that there was a purpose to all of this.”
It is with those words that Jimin realizes that he has fallen in love with Taehyung.
“What do the stars look like in your year, Taehyung-ah? They could be... the stars that shine in mine.”
“They're lucky... They were able to observe you up close.”
And yet we're not too young to know
This love will last though years may go
And then some day they may recall
We were not too young at all
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
End of Part One.