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It wasn't as though they had been expecting to hear peace and quiet when they returned home - they had long got used to some level of chaos when they left Ted to babysit - but the noise was usually shrieking laughter or small explosions, perhaps whining shouts of 'oww! Mummy told you not to do that!' or enraged yells of 'you're so annoying, James! Stop it, stop it!'
What neither of them expected to hear as they opened the front door were piercing, terrified screams and a loud, evil cackle. They shared a brief look of horror before drawing their wands. Reacting on instinct and pure terror, Harry ran from the hallway and burst into the living room, where he saw a tall, pale white figure laughing over the writhing body of his middle son, red eyes gleaming.
Heart exploding in anguish and fear, Harry did not pause as he pointed his wand. 'STUPEFY!'
There was a fierce flash of red and the pale figure crumpled at once, but more hysterical shouts were filling the air, panicked and appalled.
'Dad!'
'That's Teddy!'
'What are you doing?'
'Is Teddy OK?'
'Dad, what have you done?'
His pulse was still racing, he was still panting slightly as though exhausted from that brief run, but now that he stood there in the doorway observing the scene properly, it became clear that he had made a horrible mistake.
Al had stopped writhing and was now sitting up, staring at Teddy with mingled concern and shock. James and Lily were stood on one sofa each, both wearing oversized black cloaks with hoods that they had clearly dug out from the back of the cupboard under the stairs, along with expressions of utter horror. Lily had burst into tears as she stared at Teddy's unconscious body.
'Oh, God, it's just Ted,' muttered Ginny, lowering her wand and slumping against the door frame, one hand on her chest. 'Bloody hell...'
'It's all right,' Harry told his children quickly, as he rushed over to his godson. 'He's all right, I just stunned him-'
'Is - he - going - to be - OK?' Lily asked, gulping through sobs.
'Of course he is-'
'Why did you do that?' demanded James. 'We were just playing!'
'I thought he was hurting Al,' said Harry, as he rolled his godson into the recovery position. Now that he was up close, he could see some essential differences - Teddy had not flattened his nose enough, and his cheeks were still rounded with youth, rather than hollowed and sharp as Voldemort's had been. Even so, the resemblance was still good enough that Harry felt very disconcerted tucking his hand in front of his face.
'Rennervate.'
'He wasn't hurting me, I was being you,' said Al. 'We were playing when Voldemort came back.'
'OK, that's nice, but I didn't know - Ted? Teddy, can you hear me?'
Teddy was blinking and moaning slightly as he stirred, the red eyes still out of focus. 'Wha-?'
'Blimey, Harry, that was a bit of a strong stunner,' said Ginny, who was pulling Lily, still crying, into her arms. 'Why didn't you disarm him?'
'Are you joking?' he said, looking over his shoulder at her. 'Years you've all made fun of me for-'
'Harry?' said Teddy slowly, sounding very dazed.
Harry looked back down. 'You're all right,' he said soothingly, rubbing Voldemort-Teddy's back. 'I accidentally stunned you.'
'You attacked him!' spluttered James.
'You could have killed him!' shrieked Al.
'I didn't mean to,' said Harry guiltily, helping Teddy into a sitting position. Teddy swayed a little, still blinking slowly up at him and trembling slightly. 'Sorry, mate,' Harry told him. 'Will an extra galleon for babysitting cover it?'
Teddy's Voldemort-influenced face still looked quite shaken. Harry placed his hand on the side of it, checking his pupils (thankfully not slit shaped), and the absurdity of the situation hit him and he snorted with laughter.
'Daddy, it's not funny!' howled Lily, but as he looked up apologetically, he could see that Ginny was cradling her daughter's head into her shoulder so that she couldn't see her laughing too.
'I'm sorry,' Teddy mumbled. 'I didn't... I thought you weren't going to be home for...'
'Ted? Would you mind...?' Harry waved a hand in front of his face, still highly amused but keen to stop comforting Lord Voldemort.
'Oh!' said Teddy, and he frowned in concentration. His skin tone flushed with a healthier shade of pink, his bald head sprouted blue hair, his eyes adjusted into the same emerald green as Harry.
'There you go, Lily,' said Ginny briskly. 'He's fine. Aren't you, Ted?'
'Y-yes...'
'Good,' said Harry. 'Right, you lot, I think as per the instruction we left, you were all meant to be in bed nearly two hours ago.'
'I'm still worried about Teddy though,' said James swiftly.
'Yeah, right. Come on, I mean - that's enough excitement for everyone, if my blood pressure raises any further I'll need to call Healer Gower.'
They persuaded the three youngest to bed, and though Teddy still seemed a little pale, he assured them that he was fine, and they pressed four galleons into his hand and escorted him to the fireplace for him to floo home. 'I'm sorry,' he spluttered. 'That must have been - I'm really sorry.'
'It was just a bit of a shock, Teddy,' said Harry reassuringly. 'I'm sorry I stunned you.'
'No, but, really, I'm sorry-'
'It's fine, it was funny.'
'Right, yeah, OK,' babbled Teddy. 'I'll - I'll see you on Tuesday, maybe.'
'See you then.'
They were left in the quiet of the living room. Harry looked at Ginny. Ginny looked at Harry.
'Do you think Remus would have forgiven me for knocking his child unconscious?' Harry asked her. They both began to laugh, uncontrollably.
'Godfather of the year, you are,' wheezed Ginny.
'Tonks would have found it funny!' Harry protested. 'But all I can think of is Remus's teacher face telling me I should have assessed the situation first.'
They could barely breathe, collapsed onto the sofa together, heads in their hands and shoulders shaking. 'Out of all the times you didn't use Expelliarmus...' said Ginny.
'Out of all the bloody games the kids could play!' retorted Harry. 'You know that was James's idea.'
'Oh, poor Lily, she thought you'd killed him!' giggled Ginny.
'Fantastic, I've scarred her for life and she's only four,' said Harry, his stomach now hurting with laughter. 'Godfather of the year and father of the year.'