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2013-06-16
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What We Lost on Mindoir

Summary:

Winter Shepard just encountered a troubling shadow from her past on the Citadel. Though she is not seeking to process it, she finds herself talking to Garrus about her past.

Work Text:

            Winter glared up at the mechanical parts above her head, clanking her wrench against them in consternation. Perhaps in vengeance, a pipe squeaked out a drop of oil onto her face.

            "Shit," Winter grumbled, pushing herself out from underneath the Mako.

            The rolling board she was using for maintenance bumped up against Garrus's legs with the force of her exit. He chuckled quietly in response, not turning to face her. He knew she only did maintenance when she was frustrated. "Tough day, Commander?"

            Winter sat up, rubbing at the oil on her face with the back of a gloved hand, trying to keep it away from her eyes. "You don't know the half of it."

            Garrus turned, tilting his head to the side in curiosity. The sight of her oil-smudged face made his mandibles quirk into what Winter assumed was a Turian smirk. His snicker proved her assumption correct.

            "Don't be an asshole," she grunted, grabbing a work towel and smacking his leg with it.

            His posture stiffened with her reprimand, and the smirk disappeared. "I'm sorry, Commander. I... what happened? If you want to talk to about it."

            Winter stood and used her foot to roll the board back under the Mako's belly. With the towel draped around her neck, she tried to stretch out the tension that had been growing in her shoulders. The physical stimulation was distracting enough that she thought, maybe, she could talk about it.

            "You ever hear of Mindoir?" she asked Garrus.

            "No, I can't say that I have."

            "Just as well, I guess." She sighed and leaned back against the Mako, making eye contact with the Turian. "I lived in a human colony there. We were just farmers and tradespeople, you know, nothing military. Thirteen years ago, Batarians raided us and took... well, they took everything. But they wanted slaves, and got rid of anyone who fought back or that they wouldn't be able to sell. I lost my family in that raid."

            "Shepard, that's... horrible. I had no idea." Garrus was stunned, and his shuffling feet and awkwardly clicking mandibles showed his discomfort. "But, I… I guess that explains your actions in the Blitz."

            "Ha, yeah. The Blitz. Fat lot of good that did."

            "I think your fellow Alliance would disagree with that dismissal, Commander."

            "No, I mean...," Winter sighed, shaking her head. "It's just... I thought it would be enough. Payback, maybe. Justice. But it wasn't. It still isn't."  They sat in silence for a moment. Garrus sensed she had more to say, and Winter was struggling to find the words she needed.

            "I met a girl today," she started.

            Garrus blinked, mandibles opening in surprise or confusion. Winter still wasn't completely sure how to read him, but she was getting better. "Uh... was she cute?"

            Winter barked out a sudden, relieved laugh. She smacked Garrus with the towel again, this time in his armor-encased chest. "No, you jackass. She was... she was from Mindoir, too. About my age."

            The Turian nodded in understanding and sheepishly rubbed at his scaly, rough neck. "Another survivor?"

            "Sort of. Talitha is her name. She was captured. Batarians enslaved her, Garrus. For thirteen years. She just got freed by the Alliance, and wound up on the Citadel. Lost, alone. And she was... she had a gun. Talitha wanted to use it. On herself. Security called me up to the docks to try and talk her down. Why they thought I could do it, I'm not sure."

            "You saw it happen. Maybe they knew?"

            She snorted derisively. "I don't... this, right here? This is the most I've talked about Mindoir in thirteen years. And all I got from that battle was a scar and emotional baggage. How the fuck was I supposed to talk down someone like Talitha? What could I say?"

            Her compatriot grunted in disapproval. "Shepard, you lost your family. That's not just emotional baggage. Me, I have father issues. That's baggage. But you..."

            "I have an entire cargo hold?"

            Garrus laughed while he tentatively placed his large hand on her shoulder. Winter was suddenly grateful for the oil that masked a slight rush of blood that crept onto her face.

            "You're the most determined and powerful woman I've ever met. You've survived things that... let's just say I've seen a lot of people break in my short time at C-Sec. If anyone could help that girl, I'm sure it was you."

            Winter raised her hand to his, squeezing one long, taloned finger. It felt warmer than she had anticipated, and rougher. "Thanks."

            Garrus nodded, withdrawing his hand slowly. "What happened to Talitha?"

            "She's in safe hands now. I... I talked her down, but I think I also yelled at her a little too much.” She shrugged. “Either way, she took some medication and calmed down. They can get her the help she needs now, though."

            "What about you?"

            Winter smiled up at him. "Me? I have a piece of shit Mako to take my aggression out on when there aren't Geth or pirates around to shoot. I'll be okay."

            Garrus' mandibles shifted to the expression from before, which she confidently decided was definitely a smirk. "Maybe instead of tinkering around with the outside of it, you should learn how to actually drive it."

            "Oh, fuck you," Winter rolled her eyes and laughed, popping him with the the towel again. "I'd like to see you drive it. The controls are made for five fingers, not two."

            Garrus laughed. "Did you lose a few fingers in the Blitz, and I didn't notice? That would explain it."

            "Is this insubordination I'm hearing?"

            "Oh, no ma'am, Spectre Commander Captain ma'am."

            "You are so grounded, mister. Shame, too. We have to stop at a nice warm planet on the way to Noveria. I definitely need your help there, and they are experiencing a hell of a blizzard right now."

            A new expression appeared on his face: A pout. She wasn't sure how he managed it with those mouth parts, but it was quite impressive.

            "Maybe Liara has a sweater you can borrow," Winter continued.

            "All right, all right!" Garrus caved. "You are the best driver I've ever seen and I trust you with my life behind the wheel."

            "Damn straight," Winter nodded. "But I really do need you on Noveria. Sorry, champ."

            "I hate you."

            "I know." She pushed herself off the Mako, clapping Garrus on the back. "But you can come to the tropical planet with me, too. Maybe we'll get lucky and instead of Geth there'll just be a Thresher Maw."

            "...on second thought, I'll wait for Noveria."

            "Too late! Get your shit together, Garrus. We head out in a couple hours. Lots of rocky terrain to drive over, too!" Winter was walking toward the elevator now, calling over her shoulder at him.

            Garrus sighed as she left. The woman was infuriatingly inspiring and difficult for him to read, but she was also the only officer he had met who spoke to him like an equal. Like a friend. He understood her, even without being able to interpret all of her verbal and nonverbal cues, and he felt the same from her. Somehow, he decided, the galaxy wasn't quite so big, cold, and empty as it was before.