Work Text:
(First published 10/2009, edited 12/2010)
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"So you're saying Artemis herself will really instruct us?" I asked. Sitting behind Xena, both of us atop Argo, my grip around her waist tightened in excitement.
Xena, Solari, Eponin, and I were headed to the annual Amazonian Festival of Samhain. Leaders and representatives of the scattered tribes of the Amazon Nation attended this festival each year at the end of Summer to convene and receive special training from Artemis. This year, it was being held at the Castle of Artemis in Celta.
"That's right. Taught me everything I know about the bow," said Eponin, the Amazon Weapon Master. She and Solari were sharing a horse. Solari was in back, her hands lightly gripping Eponin's waist.
"Would she show me some moves with the staff?" I asked, hopeful.
"Yes," Solari quickly answered.
Eponin and Xena exchanged a look, which I noticed it, but let go. Let Xena think I don't know about Artemis and her legendary romps with Amazons of her choosing.
I'm sure Xena thinks I am oblivious to the ways of the Amazons, but when she was dead and I had been briefly living among the women warriors, I quickly learned that the rumors about their love were true. Even during my time of mourning, I saw things that confirmed that it took a woman of certain predilections to live within an all-female society.
One time, for instance, I had been taking a contemplative stroll through the woods when I came across muffled noises and splashing sounds coming from the lake. When I had gone to inspect, I saw two figures in the water, moving, together. I ventured closer and had seen two of my friends. Solari was leaning back, pressed into Eponin, who was standing behind her. One of Eponin's hands was grabbing Solari's breast and the other was below the water, stroking between Solari's legs. Hiding behind a tree, I watched them. When I had seen them together like that, I regretted once more that I had failed to tell Xena about my feelings for her when she was still alive. My body, heart, and soul had ached for her again.
But now, Xena was back. Riding together on Argo again, I rested my cheek against her back and closed my eyes. The last of the sunlight was fading and a chill was creeping into the air. The warrior's body was warm against my skin and she let me relax into her. This trip would provide the perfect backdrop to confess to Xena the nature of my love for her.
"There's a village up ahead. We should stop there, eat, and see if they have rooms for us," Xena said. We had been sleeping under the stars, and on the hard ground, since leaving Amazon land a few nights ago.
"Delightful," said Solari, "Hey Ep, how about a soft bed tonight?"
"Sounds good," Eponin said. I looked on with envy as Solari proceeded to openly give her muscular Amazon lover a playful bite on the neck. Riffing off of Solari's cue, I perked up and began squeezing Xena's shoulders, near her neck.
"Wha?!" Xena said. Reacting to her master's surprise, Argo whinnied and bucked back on two legs. Startled, and no longer gripping Xena's waist, I tumbled backwards and quickly found myself sitting on the ground, dazed, and rubbing my bottom.
"Gabrielle, are you okay?" Xena said. She had steered Argo around and, from the ground, I found myself staring into the snout of Xena's beloved horse.
"Whoa, what happened? Are you okay?" Solari echoed.
"I... oh. I'm fine," I tried to laugh it off, "I just feel like walking for a bit. I'll meet you at the village."
"Suit yourself," Xena said. Argo snorted in my face before turning back around. My three companions continued on and I hoped the darkness had hid some of the redness in my cheeks. As I rose to my feet and dusted myself off, I felt grateful for a few moments to myself to collect my thoughts.
The thing is, even before Xena died and I was drawn into obvious despair, many people already assumed that Xena and I were lovers. My family, Xena's mother, the Amazons. I had not understood why people thought that. Xena was my best friend and, until I left Potidaea, I didn't know that two women or two men could be together romantically. Over the course of our time together, though, I began to fall for the warrior. I had seen the way that some of the women we encountered looked at her and I began recognizing that attraction in myself. Perhaps I had always been sexually drawn to Xena on some level. Oftentimes, I could feel heat between us and, when she kissed me before crossing back over to the land of the living, I felt that she wanted me.
The only problem was how to talk about all of this to a warrior who rarely removed her armor.
Now, in the forest, I noticed that the darkness had almost entirely crept into the woods. I picked up my pace and made my way to the outskirts of the village. Since I knew who I was traveling with, I entered the first tavern I came across and found my three traveling companions. Inside the dimly-lit space, my eyes traveled across small groups of mostly-male patrons cackling and enjoying themselves with drunken delight. Many of their eyes turned to follow me as I made my way across the room to where my friends were sitting, four large mugs of ale, and several empty ones, in front of them. As I joined them, they were laughing and, by all appearances, already feeling tipsy.
"We got you a drink, Gabrielle," said Eponin, with a smile, pushing one of the mugs toward me. The Weapon Master, for all of her stoic intimidation, was really quite thoughtful. Of the pair, she was much more reserved than Solari, but there was little she missed. Most of the other Amazons had just assumed that Xena and I had been lovers. A few bold ones, believing me to be newly-unattached, even tried courting me. Eponin, though, had understood that my pain was multiplied, not because Xena and I had been lovers, but because we had not yet been.
As Eponin now scooted the mug of ale toward my seat in the tavern, I know that, in her own quiet way, she was encouraging me to be brave with the warrior princess.
"Thank you Eponin," I said. I took the mug, brought it to my lips and took a swig. I closed my eyes as the cool pumpkin ale slipped down my throat and became warm in my stomach. When I opened my eyes, I saw that Xena was looking at me, smiling.
A waitress made her way over to us, carrying a large plate of roasted turkey legs. My eyes lit up. I was famished.
"Can I get you ladies anything else?" the waitress asked, as she placed the plate on our table.
"Actually, we were wondering," Solari began, laughing, "if you had any oil for a phall-"
"Shhh, no, we're fine. Thanks," Eponin said, muffling whatever thought Solari didn't feel like stifling. I was a little disappointed that I missed whatever conversation had been occurring during my walk to the tavern.
"O-kay" said the waitress, raising an eyebrow. "Well, I'm supposed to tell ya that that fella over there," the waitress pointed to a dark-haired youngish man a few tables over, "would like to buy one of you ladies," she looked at me, "a round." This was not unusual. As four women traveling without men, we attracted a fair amount of attention. Especially in taverns. The only surprise was which one of us would be chosen on any given night.
I sighed and looked across the table over Epony and Solari's shoulders to see which drunkard I would have to reject. As I did so, I noticed that Xena had already spotted the man, and was slightly glowering at him. By her cocky smile, I knew that she had already downed a few drinks and her hand was hovering above her chakram. He, oblivious to the warrior's attentions, grinned and made a lewd gesture at me with his tongue. Next to me, I felt Xena stiffen. Without looking, I knew she was clenching her teeth and squinting her eyes in that way she does when she's about to knock heads together. I knew she wouldn't really harm him, but I also knew that she wasn't opposed to giving someone a good scare by sending her chakram whoosing through a pint glass.
"Me?" I said, "I..."
"Tell him we're spoken for," Eponin butted in. "Amazon Vows of Chastity and all," she added with a wink.
"Ah," the waitress said. Even in small villages, the Amazons found allies amongst some the womenfolk.
I silently thanked Eponin with my eyes when Xena relaxed and took another drink of her ale.
When the waitress left, we dug into our hot meal. Not having to hunt and cook for ourselves was a treat we occasionally afforded ourselves on our travels. Sleeping in an actual bed was a real luxury. Xena and I rarely accepted money from villagers that we saved, but we always seemed to have enough dinars to make do. And of course, one of the benefits of being an Amazon queen was having access to the Amazon treasury.
"So, do we have a room tonight?" I asked my companions.
"Better, we have two," Solari said, licking the juices from her food off of her fingers. Eponin, watching her, swallowed. In my conversations with Eponin, I learned that the two women had been romantically involved ever since last year's Festival of Samhain. Solari had been in love with Eponin for quite some time, but it was only the fear of Artemis getting her godly hands on Eponin during bow training that had finally inspired Solari to declare her love for Eponin. The two had been hotly going at it ever since. After several nights on the road with Xena and me, I was sure that they were now wanting some quality alone time together.
After licking her fingers, Solari placed her hand on Eponin's upper thigh and moved in for a kiss. Tuning out the world around them in that way that newish couples are wont to do, they began kissing deeply.
"Great," I said. I looked at Xena, we made brief eye contact and then quickly looked away from each other.
Xena shifted uncomfortably while I scratched at my neck and pretended I was very interested in the card game going on at the next table.
Our two friends kept kissing.
"Okay, well," Xena began, rising from the table.
I rose too. "We're just going to, you know," I said, "go to our room, then."
Our lip-locked friends pulled away from each other. "Oh, I see," Solari slurred, "you wanna," at this she clasped her hands, intertwined her fingers, and pumped her palm heels together.
Mortified, my eyes bulged. "I...I, good night," I said, rushing away.
"Good night," Xena added, in an awkward whisper, as she turned and followed me. We left the two Amazons in the tavern and made our way to our room at the inn. Xena and I were silent most of the way there.
When we got inside the room, I helped Xena remove her armor just like I did every night. I always enjoyed this evening ritual, my nimble fingers untying straps and buckles. It was sometimes hard for the warrior to relax, but I like to think that as my fingers grazed her warm skin, I eased her way into slumber.
Our room at the inn was small, but quaint. At the foot of the bed was an open curtained window, letting in the cool breeze. Next to the large soft-looking bed sat a wooden nightstand with a candle lit atop it. I crawled into the bed first. We had an unspoken arrangement. At inns, Xena always slept on the side of the bed closer to the door. As she crawled in after me, I felt that familiar feeling of safety, knowing that her reflexes were between any intruder and myself.
As she went to blow out the candle, I stopped her. "Wait, Xena, can we talk about something?"
"Look, about what happened back there..." she said, as she laid down on the bed on her back, with her arms behind her head. Did she still assume I didn't know about Amazon love?
"I know, Xena," I said, as I lay on my side, looking at her.
"What, exactly, do you know?" she asked, looking up at the ceiling.
At that, through the open window and thin walls, we heard a door open in the next room and then, the familiar giggling of our Amazon traveling companions.
"Eponin and Solari, I know they're lovers," I said, lowering my voice.
"Oh," Xena said, waiting for me to continue. The door in the next room slammed shut and the giggling turned into laughter. We heard a thud, and then muffled moaning noises.
"Obviously," I said.
"Right," Xena said.
"Xena, when you were gone, I..." I whispered, trying to ignore whatever was going on next door. My heart was beating out of my chest. If she didn't feel the same way, this talk could change and ruin everything.
"I heard you, Gabrielle," Xena whispered.
"What?" I said, "No, I... I wanted to tell you. I-"
"I said I heard you. I heard everything," Xena said. From next door, we heard a thumping noise begin, as though a headboard were hitting against the wall. And then, seconds later, moaning. Xena and I both stopped speaking and just stared at each other, eyebrows raised, listening.
"Ep-onin!" Solari moaned, as the headboard banging began coming in louder and faster intervals. I felt my face turn red and I looked away.
When Xena and I look at each other again, we burst into laughter, breaking the tension. I put my hand over Xena's mouth to shush her. Even though Eponin and Solari's shenanigans were intruding upon my conversation with Xena, I didn't want to embarrass them.
"Xena," I began, but I started laughing again before I could finish speaking. "Xena," I tried once more, "Shhhh, I'm trying to tell you. I love you."
"Imf mdff I mmm you," Xena said. I removed my hand from her mouth.
"Oh, ha ha. Oops. What was that?" I asked her.
"OH...OH...OH YES!!" we heard from the next room. At that, Xena and I began laughing again.
After a couple of minutes passed, we recomposed ourselves once more. The room next door had gone silent.
"Gabrielle, I heard you. When I was... on the other side, I heard you talk to me," Xena said.
I swallowed and placed my hand on her cheek. My thumb moved to her bottom lip.
She closed her eyes and took my thumb into her mouth. Her tongue swirled around its tip. I
felt myself become immediately aroused. I pulled my thumb away, and moved toward her, my hand falling to the back of her neck, turning her head toward mine.
"Gabrielle," she whispered, opening her eyes and looking into my soul.
I inched my lips close to hers. For brief glorious seconds, our lips began tentatively exploring. Her lips were soft and even though I knew that already, it surprised me again. I used my tongue to open her mouth for more.
She pulled away. "Gabrielle, wait" she whispered.
I waited. She took a breath and remained silent.
I wanted to climb on top of her, bite her neck, and beg her to take me. But more than that, I didn't want to have to beg her. I had felt her lust before, as warmth coming off of her body and as the rapid beating of her heart. I had seen the way she licked her lips when she looked at me, and I felt it when we had kissed. Yet, she refused to meet me halfway even though I had made my intentions obvious.
Hurt and with my confidence fading away, I pulled away from her and rolled over onto my other side.
"Gabrielle, hey..." she said, putting her arm on my shoulder, "I...just...I can't."
As our friends slumbered next door to us, content in each others' arms, Xena and I laid awake for most of the night. Together, but alone.
xxxx
Shortly after dawn, I opened my eyes. I was tired, but remembering what had happened the previous night, I was too upset to fall back asleep. I expected Xena to be up already, but when I rolled over I saw that she was lying on her side, facing me with her eyes open as though she had been watching me sleep.
"Hey," I whispered.
"Hey," she said.
I looked into her eyes and tried to read her troubled gaze.
"About last night," I said, "let's forget it."
"Gabrielle, I..." Xena said. I knew that words were failing her right now, and I felt for her. But my heart and my mind were battling between wanting to gently coax her feelings out of her and fearing that I had misread her passion for me. In the light of the day, I began to worry that my confession had created an unnecessary awkwardness between us.
My fear won out and so I sat up. "We should go," I said, "the first ceremony in Celta is at dusk." I looked away from her, closing myself off, feeling her eyes continue to search me. Even though she was imploring me to look at her, I didn't. Instead, I rose from the bed and began gathering my belongings.
"Right," she said.
I was embarrassed and my heart was breaking. I needed to distance myself from her for a bit until I considered my options.
We were less than a day's journey from Celta and the tone of our trip had changed. Xena and I were barely speaking and our two Amazon friends, when they weren't being affectionate with one another, were nursing their hangovers.
After traveling well into the afternoon, we stopped near a pond to water the horses and rest. I was washing the dust off of my face and chatting with Eponin and Solari when Xena, who was feeding Argo, hushed us. She gestured, indicating that she heard something moving in the trees above.
"Don't...move," she whispered. Xena stood still, listening, and slowly moved her eyes back and forth. I heard something whoosh through the air, noticed the flash of a small red object, and saw Xena's hand reach out and envelop whatever it was that was hurtling toward her. She turned her palm upward and opened her hand. It was a small apple from the tree. At that point, we heard chuckling from above and rustling in the branches.
"Is that Xena, Warrior Princess?" the female voice asked.
Xena looked up, and began laughing. A woman swooped down from her perch in the trees, while doing two front flips on the way. She landed on her feet and made the Amazon signal for friendship.
"Daphne," Xena said, smiling and holding out her hand.
The two women clasped forearms, laughing. Xena took a bite from the apple and began chewing.
"Daphne?" I whispered to Solaris and Eponin, as we remained standing by the pond.
"Oh. Yeah. She's a Lesbian Amazon," whispered Solari.
"Isn't that... redundant?" I asked.
"No, you know, she's from the island tribe on Lesbos," Solari said.
"Oh. Wonderful," I said, as I began sizing her up.
She displayed a familiarity with Xena and that unnerved me. I noticed that like most of the Amazons I had met so far, Daphne was striking and had a great physique. Her dark hair fell just past her shoulders and, in addition to her two-piece ceremonial garb, she wore the white cape that signified a high status among the Amazons.
"Xena, I heard you were coming to the Festival this year," Daphne said, "I'm so glad you've finally wised up and joined the Nation." At this, she moved in closer. She took the apple from Xena's hand and took a bite of it. Was her bosom rubbing up against Xena's arm?
Xena shifted uncomfortably. "Well, I haven't exactly joined the Amaz-"
"So, who's the lucky lady?" Daphne asked Xena, acknowledging the presence of Solari, Eponin, and me.
"Oh, I-" Xena began again.
"I'm Gabrielle," I said, walking toward Xena and Daphne, "Queen Gabrielle." Why was I suddenly feeling competitive with this woman? "And this is Eponin and Solari," I added, pointing to my companions.
"A pleasure," said Daphne, tightly grabbing my forearm in the traditional Amazon greeting.
"Please, do join us for the rest of our journey to Celta," I said, through gritted teeth.
We resumed our trip then, Eponin and Solari on their horse, Xena on Argo, and Daphne and I on foot slightly behind the others.
"So, Gabriel, what do you do when you're not ruling the Greek Amazons?" Daphne asked.
"Oh, it's Gab-rielle," I said, "And, well, I travel with Xena and I write."
"Oh? What do you write?" Daphne asked.
"I write about Xena, our travels, and the people we meet," I said.
"She's very good," Xena said, turning to look at us.
I smiled.
"So, you write about Xena's conquests?" she said to me.
"Oh, I don't know if I'd call them conquests. She... we, help people," I said.
"And they say you can't teach an old dog new tricks," Daphne said, with a laugh.
Something about the way Daphne had said "conquests" had angered me. I knew that Xena was sexually experienced, but Daphne was trying to show me that she knew Xena in a way that I didn't.
"Anyway," Daphne continued, "that's good. That you write. It's good to know what you're good at." I took a deep breath, and tightened my grip on my staff.
"I fight too. I help Xena," I said.
"Well, that's precious. You know, Sapph says that very few writers can actually make a living solely by writing," Daphne said.
"Sapph? As in, Sapph-o?" I asked.
"Sappho. Yes. She is an honorary advisor, among other key roles, to my tribe," Daphne said, with a wink.
"The Sappho?" I repeated, unable to contain my awe, despite my annoyance with Daphne.
"So, Amazons," said Eponin, changing the subject, "Who do you think Artemis is going to choose for this year's Revealing Ceremony?"
"I know where I would place my bets," Daphne said, under her breath, looking at Xena's backside, which was conveniently in front of us.
I shot Daphne a look and briefly questioned whether unprovoked violence was really so wrong.
The Revealing Ceremony, as Eponin had explained it to me earlier, occurred on the opening night of each Festival of Samhain. After the ritual drumming and dancing to call forth the elusive Artemis, the Amazon leaders of each tribe would, at sunset, retreat to their rooms and wait. Most Amazons would spend the night merely waiting. To one woman, though, Artemis would appear and reveal herself in human form. In exchange for a night of bliss in mortal flesh, Artemis would then stick around for duration of the Festival, passing on her skills to her beloved Amazon Nation. An outsider might consider it a business transaction, but nearly every Amazon hoped to be chosen for the Revealing Ceremony. It was considered a great honor.
"Yeah, well, Artemis will only choose an Amazon. So Xena's out of consideration," I responded to Daphne's obvious suggestion.
"You mean she's not?" Daphne asked.
"No. She's not," I said.
"Well, how about that," she said, shaking her head.
I cleared my head and quickened my pace to catch up with Xena. I asked her to pull me up onto Argo with her. As her hand made contact with my forearm, I thought of last night again, and the memory stung. I was grateful that we were nearing the Festival grounds. I was looking forward to distracting myself in the company of my Amazon sisters. I wanted to talk to Eponin about last night. She would help me think about what to do. Maybe it was time to more seriously consider fulfilling my role as Amazon Queen.
A short while later, we saw the Castle of Artemis in the distance. We had reached Celta. Xena, Eponin, Solari, and I dismounted the horses and approached the front gate. Two muscular Celtan Amazons wearing white ceremonial blouses and knee-length skirts with a tartan pattern were guarding the entrance. I gave them the Amazon signal for friendship and they responded likewise.
"State your tribe and position, Amazons," the red-headed one said.
"I am Queen Gabrielle of the Greek Amazons," I said. Introducing my Amazon companions, I continued,"this is Eponin, Weapon Master, and Solari, Chief of Strategy."
The guard nodded and looked at Daphne.
"I am Daphne of Lesbos, Master of Combat," Daphne said.
"Welcome sisters," said the guard, "and you?" she added, looking at Xena.
"Xena, of Amphipolis," said Xena.
The guard stopped, "Xena. I know the name, but I'm not familiar with an Amazon tribe in that region."
"She's my bodyguard," I said. I wanted to add, "and my companion," but I didn't.
The two guards looked at each other.
"Sorry, but if you're not an Amazon, we can't let you through tonight," said first guard.
"The Revealing Ceremony cannot happen if non-Amazons are present on Festival Grounds," added the other guard.
Of course. I understood. Artemis would not take mortal form in the presence of those who were not bound by Amazon law to remain loyal to her. To do so would be careless. It would put her in jeopardy. But still, Xena was not a threat to Artemis.
"You don't understand. She's with me. I will take full responsibility for her," I said.
"With all due respect, Queen, it's the rules," said the red-headed guard said, "we can't take that chance. She can enter the Festival tomorrow at dawn for the workshops."
"I understand," I said quietly. I was outside of my jurisdiction. I looked at Xena. Her eyes were small and she did not look happy. With my eyes, I motioned to Eponin and the others to go on ahead. I would catch up with them. Xena and I walked a short distance away, out of earshot of the guards.
"I'm sorry. I didn't think this would be an issue," I said.
"It's fine, Gabrielle," said Xena. She said that, but she looked sullen. I sensed that undercurrent of anger in her. She could have easily taken on those two guards and I wondered if a part of her wanted to. Her transformation meant learning to control that violence, but the essence of that energy was still there, lingering.
"I'll see you tomorrow then," I said. Giving her a half-smile, I wanted to touch her arm. Instead, I turned away.
"Gabrielle," she said. I turned around, expectantly. "I'll... see you," she said.
I gave her a nod and said, "yeah." I turned around, walked past the guards, and entered the castle.
xxxx
Inside the fortress, I walked through a long, dark hallway that eventually opened up into a large room. Inside, was a vast sea of women. Short women, tall women, dark women, and light ones. I had never seen so many women in all of my life. The sounds of their voices, as they chatted in small groups, was that of a small rumble. Some were playfully sparring with each other and some were greeting each other with smiles, hugs, and strong handshakes. As I walked through the room, I smiled at five short Amazons wearing furs and feathers and noticed that they fell silent and looked at me. I quickly looked away. As I passed them, I saw their heads nod and I heard a sound of approval as they looked my body up and down.
Blushing, I began desperately searching for my friends. In this crowded room, I felt very alone. Everyone seemed to know everyone else. I didn't know what to do or where to go. I made my way to a nearby booth where a Celtan Amazon was handing out ceremonial costumes for the opening festivities. Although the Amazon tribes were many, the opening ceremony had a dress code. Rather than distinguishing each other by tribe, the ceremonial costumes distinguished the women by rank. Queens, for instance, would wear a two-piece Amazon costume, covered by a long, black fur cloak. While all would wear masks, those of the higher-ranked Amazons would be more ornate. Queens, for instance, wore black masks made of feather and bone. Those in the battling ranks wore black helmets and ceremonial armor. Healers and spiritual advisors, meanwhile, wore either a black pointed hat and cape or the mask of a deer, complete with a fur cape.
I walked over to another booth and saw women burning incense and preparing their drums in preparation to invoke the goddess. A musky aroma surrounded me and, again, I felt Xena's absence. She belonged here, with these warriors, but I wondered if she would always be too stubborn and independent to submit to the rituals and ranks of the Amazons. I took a deep breath, held my head high, and turned off into a dark corridor to collect myself for a moment. I leaned against the cool wall, and brought my hands up to my face. As I did so, I caught the ever-so-faintest whiff of bubble-gum in the air, heard a giggle, and saw a pink figure sparkle into view.
"Say, why the long face bardalicious?" she asked.
"Aphrodite," I said, "What are you doing here?" I was surprised to see the goddess, but grateful to see a familiar face. I went to hug her and noticed that she was spilling out of a two-piece Amazon outfit complete with bikini top. In pink.
"All these battling babes in one place? I never miss this," she said, accepting me into her arms.
"Speaking of... where is tall, dark, and brooding?" Aphrodite said, looking around.
"She's not an Amazon so they won't let her in until tomorrow," I answered. After a beat, I realized that I had assumed she had been talking about Xena.
"I know, right? Aren't the Amazons totally hardcore with the rules? Trust me, little one, your warrior babe is an Amazon in every way that counts," said Aphrodite, with a giggle. I was relieved that she had, actually, been referring to Xena. I also noted that the Goddess of Love had referred to Xena as my warrior. I brought my hand to my forehead.
"I don't know, Aphrodite. I... I think I messed up," I said, "I wonder if I've come to the end of my path with Xena. Maybe I belong with my tribe."
"Well, I can't say you'd be in unsavory company," Aphrodite said, as we both noticed a pretty young specimen walk nearby. "However, hold that thought..."
At this, she gently took hold of my arms again and began pulling me toward her. I looked into the goddess' eyes and realized that she was going to kiss me.
"Aphrodite, what are you d-" I started. Before I could finish, her lips were upon mine. The pleasure I felt was instantaneous and I knew that my fleshly body was no match for the powers of the Goddess of Love. I hungered for more. I had never been with a woman before, but Aphrodite's kiss made promises I knew it could keep. As I used my tongue to open her mouth wider, I lost all sensation in my body. Confused, I pulled away and realized that I seemed to be floating outside of my body.
And then, in my head, I heard Aphrodite's voice, "Relax blondie."
"What's going on?" I said. I felt the sensation of gliding upwards. I looked down and saw my body below, still kissing the Goddess of Love. I felt myself continue to rise and, as I saw the Goddess' hand move toward my backside, I saw the outside of the castle, from above.
"Look. Think of it as your mind going outtie while your body stays anchored down there," Aphrodite said, pointing downward toward the castle.
"I... I think I might be sick," I said. I wasn't good with different modes of transportation.
"Grody to the max, Gabs!" Aphrodite said, "But don't worry, you can't barf without a body."
"Where are we going?" I said, groaning.
"Alright already, let's just say that I have an in with the Goddess of the Amazons. And, well, I have a hunch that you're going to have to make a way tough decision tonight and, when you do, I just want you to be fully informed," Aphrodite said.
We began floating toward the forest, just outside the boundaries of the Festival.
"Are we in a God dimension?" I asked, as Aphrodite took my hand.
"Sorta. Lip-locked, I kind of have you in my thrall right now and, well, now you can travel like how I can travel. Time works differently here," Aphrodite said. We began to glide lower, approaching the tops of the trees.
The light from the sun was fading and, through the canopy of trees, I saw a small campfire below. I knew who we were going to see. "Xena," I said.
She was sitting on a log, alone, sharpening her sword.
We landed, out of the light of the fire. As though hearing something, Xena looked our way, so I took a step ba
"She can't see us," Aphrodite said, walking close to the fire. She stepped in front of Xena and shook her bosom in front of Xena's face. Xena continued sharpening her sword.
"Stop that!" I said.
"Okay, chill," Aphrodite said.
I tentatively stepped forward.
"Come, Gabrielle," Aphrodite said, holding out her hand. "see what I see."
When our hands met, I saw pictures from Xena's mind. I saw me, at the inn the previous night, sleeping. Xena had been stroking my hair as I slept. I saw me, walking into the tavern, and felt Xena smile, as though she was suddenly bathed in light.
"She thinks of you," Aphrodite said. "A lot."
"I...I see that," I said. And then, like a dark cloud, I felt Xena's energy darken. I saw a group of Amazons leering at me. Clad in a two-piece Amazon outfit, I was seductively dancing in front of them. I saw me, through Xena's eyes, lying on the ground. An arrow had been shot through my chest and a warrior was raising his sword above me. I saw a handsome short-haired woman kissing my hand, as I sat in an Amazon throne. I saw myself, battering a tree with my staff, wailing over the death of Xena. Then, I saw myself in a room at the castle. Artemis, clad in white, was approaching me and commanding me to remove my clothes. And then, rage like the color of red. The flash of a chakram speeding toward its target. Frightened, I shook my head.
"What...?" I asked. Some of those things didn't happen.
"Those are her fears, Gabrielle. From the past and for the future," Aphrodite said. I shook my head.
"Take me back to the castle. Please," I said. I closed my eyes and Aphrodite twinkled her hand.
When I opened my eyes again, I found myself back in the dark corridor of the castle, my lips still upon Aphrodite's. We slowly pulled away from one another.
"I see what she sees in you, you know," Aphrodite said.
I felt confused, dizzy, and then sick. I leaned to the side side and threw up.
"Ew, except for that," Aphrodite said.
I wiped my mouth.
"Well, I'm outta here," Aphrodite said. "You better get ready for that ceremony. I, meanwhile, have some more trouble to get myself into." With that, she blew me a kiss and disappeared in a cloud of pink sparkles.
I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes, trying to process what I had just seen.
"Queen Gabrielle," I heard a familiar voice call my name.
When I turned, I saw Eponin and Solari carrying clothing.
"Oh, thank gods!" I said, walking toward them.
"Come on, we have to get ready for the opening ceremony!" Solari said.
We went to the dressing chambers and began putting on our ceremonial garb and masks. As we did so, we began hearing the steady beat of the Amazon drummers. The opening ceremony was about to begin and fully dressed in costume, we let the crowd urge us along through the corridors of the castle until we entered a large torchlit courtyard. A fire was burning in the center, and Amazons of all tribes were lining up to begin the ritual dancing around it. I joined in, each of us- everyone from the Valkryian Amazons to the Amazons of Chin- indistinguishable by tribe. In the movements and chanting, I lost myself. I was sweating. Someone had begun passing around wine and then a ceremonial pipe. No longer feeling alone, I felt a part of something much bigger than myself. I glanced up at the full moon high above and saw it peering down at us, watching.
xxxx
After the opening ceremony, the queen of each Amazon tribe made her way to her sleeping chambers for the duration of the next phase of the ceremony, Artemis' Reveal. Still clad in traditional Amazon regalia complete with the ceremonial mask of queenship, I sat on a chair and waited. Aphrodite had hinted that I might be chosen and, because of that, I was anxious. I stood up and made my way to the window where I looked down at the forest, below. I thought of Xena sleeping out there alone and I missed her. This was our first night apart since she had come back from the other side.
"Xena," I said, "what have I done?" I had expected too much of her too soon. She would return to me tomorrow but if I accepted Artemis in my bed tonight, Xena might never be able to forget it. I had, after all, made a choice to participate in the ceremony. The Goddess of the Amazons would never take a woman against her will. In fact, to do so would be an unthinkable breach of Amazon etiquette. The truth is, thinking of the Goddess excited me, although whether that was due to the Goddess herself or her boldness, I could not say.
I looked up at the moon. Inhaling, I was certain that my nervousness would keep me from sleeping tonight.
I walked over to the full-length mirror and looked at myself. In my reflection, I saw that my dark regalia had transformed me from a girlish woman into a true Amazon queen. I had never considered myself to be seductive, but I began posing anyway. First, I stuck out my hip and placed a hand on it. Not satisfied, I brought my hip in and placed a hand behind my head, as if to stroke my hair. As I thought of my next stance, I heard footsteps.
In the reflection of the mirror, I saw a figure. I'm wasn't sure how long she has been there, but I saw that her form is striking.
Her color was silver and it started with the gladiator sandals she wore, traveled up her tan, muscular legs in a long, flowing gown and ended with the ceremonial Amazon mask upon her face. A long, white cape cloaked her form and in her left hand, she held her famous bow. Her quiver of arrows was on her back.
Her allure was palpable and I felt an immediate attraction to her. I was intrigued by this goddess and my body responded to the excitement I am feeling. My nipples hardened as I turned to face her.
She took two steps toward me.
Unsure, I took two steps, not toward her, but to the side. Now standing near the bed, which is of the canopy variety, I tried to somewhat hid behind the tall metal frame. The thin white curtains blew around me. My heart raced but somehow, I feltl safer with something, no matter how insubstantial, between us.
The goddess eyed me, but does not hurry or come at me. Gracefully, she removed her cloak and placed it gently on the coat rack in the corner.
I gasped at her physique. I was unsure as to why she has chosen me, of all the women in this castle. Surely she could choose others who have much more experience than me which, considering my history, isn't difficult to surpass. I am flattered. But also, unsure. It hit me that I really am on the verge of an event that could change the course of my life. For me to accept Artemis tonight would probably hurt Xena beyond repair. Tomorrow, I would have to do the unthinkable and face Xena, after having spent the night in the arms of another lover.
I expected at any moment to hear the whoosh of a chakram and the sickening thud of it connecting with its target, the neck of the Amazon goddess. A vision of her head rolling at my feet passed through my mind.
I swallowed and, through the canopy curtain, I look at Artemis. A part of me wanted to warn her. Although a goddess, a showdown with Xena would not be high on her list of things she was looking forward to tonight. Another part of me wanted to run from the room, flee the castle, and crawl into my bedroll next to Xena.
And, if I was honest with myself, another part of me wanted to submit and let the strong arms of Artemis envelop me.
The goddess herself appeared confident and showed no trace of fear. She is, after all, a master hunter and consummate warrior. She strode to the dresser and placed her bow upon it. When she removed her quiver, I wondered if I, too, should be removing articles of my clothing.
From her quiver, I saw her remove a phallic-looking object and some sort of harness. I inhaled sharply and wondered what I have gotten myself into.
Hearing me, Artemis looked at me and began walking in my direction.
I swallowed hard. I could not deny that I was aroused by her presence.
As I stood by the bed, she moved behind me and, touching me for the first time, placed her hands on the black cloak at my shoulders. With a surprisingly soft touch, she slowly and patiently removed it.
My shoulders bare, I wore only my two-piece regalia and ceremonial mask. She was still behind me and I could feel her getting closer, her breath on my neck.
Needing more time, I drew myself away from her and walked to the other side of the room. I sense the Goddess of the Hunt tracking me the entire way.
She didn't follow me but instead sat on the edge of the large, soft bed. Perhaps knowing that a sudden move would frighten me, she waited for me to come to her.
It was clear that I had a choice and that it is mine, and not hers, to make. I took a deep breath and walk toward her.
Artemis sat upright and, when I reached her, I stepped between her legs, which were hanging over the edge of the bed. We didn't touch. Intimidated and unsure of what to do, my hands went to my head, lifting the mask from my face and removing the pins from my hair. My hair fell around my shoulders.
We stayed in that moment, waiting.
When I saw that she was waiting for me to make another move, my fingers went to my top and I began to untie the strings that held the front of it together. When it was untied, I paused, before letting it fall from my torso. When my breasts bounced forward, I saw the goddess's chest rise and fall more quickly. Encouraged, I untied the back of my short skirt and let it drop to my feet. Taking a small step forward, I left it behind as I stepped between the goddess' legs.
In that moment, I knew why Artemis is the goddess of the hunt. Her sexual appetite was legendary, yet she showed incredible restraint. She didn't pounce until she knew she had me, even though she could have had me earlier. She remained leaning back, resting her hands behind her on the bed.
From my brief experience with Perdicas, I know that the night would already be over were I in the company of someone less disciplined.
The goddess finally lifted her body forward and brought her hands toward me. I noticed that her hands were slightly shaking. When she finally touched each side of my waist, I feel the incredible warmth that she is radiating.
It was a warmth that I knew.
Artemis lifted her hands and removed the mask. Yet even before it was off I knew that I have just been seduced by my warrior companion.
"Xena..." I said, looking into those familiar blue eyes.
"Gabrielle," she said, looking into my eyes. Her eyes than traveled the length of my body. She swallowed and then tentatively reached out to pull me to her.
"What are you doing here?" I said. I let her draw me to her and I wrapped my arms around her neck.
"I heard everything Gabrielle, when I died. Your love for me. The nature of your love for me. But also, I heard the depths of your pain," Xena said.
I was silent, tears in my eyes, as I remembered.
"I couldn't put you through that again," she continued.
I swallowed. "So the night at the inn..."
"I made a choice, to keep distance between us," she said. "What I do is risky, Gabrielle."
"What you do?" I said, "Xena, it's what we do!"
"I know that. Now. There are no guarantees that I won't die, again," she said, a tear rolling down her cheek. "Or that you won't. But when I saw you enter this castle without me, maybe starting a new chapter in your life, I realized that I didn't even give you the chance to make that choice."
"You know my choice," I said.
We locked eyes.
"Really?" she said.
When I smiled, her hands at my waist tightened. She slid off the bed and, standing up, bent forward to kiss me.
Closing my eyes, I felt her lips press against mine. Soft at first, she began nipping at my bottom lip. I opened my mouth slightly and she accepted the invitation. As we explored mouths, lips, and tongues, my knees went weak. As the urgency of her tongue increased, I felt that passion that's in her, always bubbling below the surface, but she didn't throw me down on the bed and take me. At least not yet.
Instead, she lifted me, while I instinctively wrapped my legs around her waist, still kissing her.
Already, I felt the wetness between my legs. It took considerable willpower for me not to begin rubbing myself against her. Our mouths separated and she began alternately kissing and sucking on my neck. I ran my fingers through her hair and she bit my neck. Moaning, I found her mouth again.
She turned toward to the bed and gently released me, so I was sitting on it. Stepping back, she removed the silver gown she wore and stepped out of her sandals. Her hands rose and she removed the pins holding her hair. I gasped as her long, dark locks fell around her neck. Her full breasts rose and fell with her breath, her skin flushed with arousal.
She may not be Artemis, but she was a goddess in her own right.
Stepping forward, she stood between my legs and pushed me back, firmly. Like a cat, she crawled on top of me. Powerfully, she found both of my hands and locked them above my head. Straddling me, she looked into my eyes, as though seeking some sort of final permission.
I nodded almost imperceptibly and she lowered herself, resting her body on mine and slipping a thigh between my legs.
Immediately, I felt her wetness as it slid against my thigh. I moaned, excited by her arousal. I had never done this before, but my instincts kicked in. I restrained myself from bucking uncontrollably against her as she pressed herself into me. Instead, I timed my movements to meet the motion of her hips.
"Gods, Xena..." I said, whispering into her ear.
"Are you okay?" she said, slowing down her rhythm.
"Yes, gods, yes," I said, pulling her into me. I felt myself teetering close to the point of no return and it felt both too soon and not soon enough. "I...I'm going to-"
Xena saw it in my eyes and lifted herself up. As I screamed inside, she gave a low growl and her mouth found one of my nipples. She sucked and bit and pulled, while we both moaned.
I felt her dripping onto me. In that moment, I sensed that I had a power over the warrior, and that surprised me.
While she worked on my other nipple, my hands traveled down the length of her body. I rested my hand on her backside and pulled her to me. Quickly, I reached between her legs to get a better feel for her wetness, and I think that surprised her.
She sharply inhaled as I easily found her shaft and began stroking. As my fingers worked on her with a skilled urgency, she groaned loudly and resumed sliding her thigh into me. She dripped into my hand and I loved that I was the cause of her wetness. I felt her opening up, throbbing, waiting to be entered. My fingers slick and coated, I circled her entrance while my thumb continued rubbing her shaft, teasing her.
"Gabrielle," she whispered. "Where did you learn...?"
"To do this?" I asked. I slowly slid two wet fingers into her, pleased to hear her moan. "You forget that I'm a grown woman, Xena. With needs. And desires." I began pumping. "And fantasies. Lots of fantasies."
"Yeah?" she whispered, still on top of me, grinding herself into me and onto my hand. "Like what?"
"That phallus on the dresser is a good start..." I said. With three fingers fully in her, I stopped pumping and press my palm repeatedly into her shaft.
"Gods, Gabrielle..."
"Would you like that?" I asked.
"Yeah," she said, sneaking a hand between my legs. "I'd like that."
Finding my center, dhe began making small circular movements with her finger. Moaning, I opened my legs wider to give her better access.
"Do you want me to get it?" she said, into my ear. "From the dresser?"
"What makes you think," I said, between kisses. "That you'd be the one wearing it?"
With a laugh, Xena grabbed my hand from between her legs and pinned it above my head, again. With her other hand, she slid first one finger and then another inside me. Together, we began rocking, her plunging into me and me meeting her every stroke.
All thoughts of my cocky banter escaped me and soon, I felt close to the edge again.
Xena slowed down her tempo. "Are you ready?" she asked, whispering.
We locked eyes.
"I'm ready, sweet Elysian Fields, I'm ready," I said, as my body screamed for a release that, until that night, had never been experienced with another person. I saw a glimmer in her eyes and before I know how she got there, she had traveled down the length of my body.
Her breath near my center, she hovered. Surprising myself, I lifted my hips to meet her tongue.
She began lapping, her tongue moving at first in long, slow strokes and then in smaller, faster ones. I felt waves of ecstasy begin as Xena gently entered me with her fingers, impossibly increasing my pleasure. No longer able to control the bucking of my hips, Xena went with it, never losing the rhythm. I rode the wave and felt myself contract around her fingers over and over again. Her tongue continued working until after I had finished crying out, to be sure I was finished.
Left gasping for breath, I realized that I had lost all awareness of the rest of the world.
Xena moved back up the length of my body, leaving a trail of kisses the entire way.
When our mouths met, I was surprised to taste myself on her lips. I kissed her deeply for a very long time, knowing her body had to be begging for release. I began massaging her breasts and pulling on her nipples. When she moaned, I knew that I had complete power over her. I flipped her onto her back and sat on top of her, my wetness dripping into her.
With control, she began rocking her hips as we slid together. I let her use me in this way and I felt myself somehow becoming aroused again, knowing that she was getting close. I moved my hips to meet her thrusting and the sensation was incredible, our wet, swollen centers sliding together. We moved faster and, when she called out my name as she finished, I knew that I was hers.
Exhilerated, I fell on top of her and she wrapped an arm around me. We were both sweaty, and breathing heavily.
The rest of the room slowly came back into focus and I briefly noticed that the bed was disheveled and our costumes were strewn about the floor.
I had never been so content in my life as I lay slightly on top of Xena. While she ran her fingers through my hair, I gave her neck small kisses.
"Gabrielle" Xena said, softly.
"Yes?"
"I love you too,"
I sighed, lazily running my fingers across her stomach.
A couple of minutes passed, and then I asked, "Xena?"
"Yes?" she said, in a sleepy voice.
"Aphrodite.... kissed me," I said.
She rolled her eyes.
"But, it's not like I felt anything... I mean... well, maybe I felt some-thing...but...well-"
Xena brought her finger to my lips, "If it weren't for Aphrodite, I wouldn't be here tonight. Relax." She continued stroking my hair.
I was happy and, in my state of bliss, was having trouble keeping my motormouth under control.
"Okay, but... oh never mind," I said, biting my tongue. Channeling my curiosity into my fingers, I began playing with Xena's belly-button. One of her eyes slighly opened.
"What is it?" she asked, in that voice she uses when she's pretending she's annoyed with me.
"Who did Artemis end up choosing for the Revealing Ceremony?"
"Eh, probably Daphne," Xena said, closing her eyes again.
In light of how the evening turned out, I was okay with that. I took a deep breath, sighed, and let myself begin drifting off to sleep. A cool breeze was blowing through the window and I was in bliss, skin to skin with the woman I loved.
I felt Xena stir and, in a small voice, say, "Whaddya mean you felt something...?"
With that, I let myself slip into sleep.
A few hours later, I woke up to the sound of whispers in the room. Opening one eye, I saw two beautiful women tip-toeing in the room. Was that Aphrodite? The aroma of mead was thick in the air.
They looked my way and I snapped my eyes shut, pretending to be asleep.
"Are we good or what, Arty?" whispered the blonde, busty woman, with a giggle.
I half-opened my eyes, watching them float around the room.
"The bard actually fell for the ol' switch-a-roo," said the muscular woman, wearing nothing but white undergarments. "I have to hand it to you Love, you did good here."
"I know, right? Those two are so meant to be together," Aphrodite said.
"Yeah yeah, that's great. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have something to attend to," Artemis said.
"Ahem, don't you mean, someone to attend to?" Aphrodite said, with a pinch on the rear of the Amazon Goddess, "So, who's the lucky lady going to be this year?"
"Ahh, life is full of difficult choices, isn't it?" Artemis said with a sigh. With a wave of her hand, she began drawing the articles of her own clothing, that Xena had strewn about the room, to herself. The gown, sandals, cloak, and mask straightened themselves out and jumped onto the goddess' body. Artemis gave a little shimmy as her full majesty was restored.
"Most definitely," Aphrodite said, with a hiccup. "And speaking of, I owe you big time for this. When you feel like collecting, you just let me know."
"Oh, I will," said Artemis, wrapping her strong arm around the Goddess of Love's waist. "Although, I certainly wouldn't have been opposed to a night with one of these two exquisite mortals."
"Yeah," sighed Aphrodite, "I know what you mean."
"Oh, and that 'I have you in my thrall' bit was rich," Artemis said, laughing.
"Whatev. She liked kissing me. No harm if she thinks I had to kiss her to take her on that joy ride," Aphrodite said.
"Speaking of joy rides..." Artemis said.
"Right, let's go."
With that, the two goddesses floated out into the night.
**The End**