Chapter Text
Nicky was getting married, and that meant having to make the hardest decision of his life. Not saying yes — that was easy, he'd decided that when he was 18 and the cute German kid he was living with showed him around his new home with an easy smile. Erik had made a stupid joke about lamps and Nicky knew he had to marry this man.
Choosing his partner for the rest of his life wasn't difficult — choosing a best man was. At first, it seemed obvious. Either Aaron or Andrew would be the clear choice, and since the concept of marriage and 'best man' seemed like it would make Andrew break out in hives, Aaron would probably be best.
And yet, every time he tried to pick up the phone and ask Aaron to be his best man, Nicky couldn't do it. Ever since Nicky found out when Aunt Tilda passed that he had another cousin and that they needed someone to take care of them, Nicky tried his hardest to include Andrew in the family. He planned movie nights and pizza dinners that neither of them wanted to attend, made sure that any time Aaron got something Andrew got it too. He never received a 'thanks' from Andrew, but he liked to think that Andrew showed his appreciation the way cats did — by letting him be in the vicinity without scratching him.
Andrew probably wouldn't care, but Nicky didn't want to just choose Aaron over him. It felt like the antithesis of what he had tried so hard to do years ago, and Nicky wouldn't be the one to reopen the wounds foster care had clawed into Andrew.
Besides, Aaron would make a horrible best man. People liked to think Aaron was the 'normal twin', less stabby than Andrew so therefore more friendly, but Nicky knew better. Both of his cousins were horrendous little shits (affectionate), and even if Aaron was his best man his face would look like he had been sucking on a lemon the entire time. Nicky would then have to pay extra money for a photographer to edit his face and Erik would laugh at him.
Luckily, one night while he was laying next to his beautiful, gorgeous charming man of a fiancé, Nicky was struck with inspiration. He sat up abruptly, and through the darkness of the night he saw Erik's face confusedly blinking up at him.
"Was?" Erik asked, sleepily.
"Neil!" Nicky exclaimed.
Erik's face paled. "What has that man done now?" He asked in rapid German, likely wondering if they'd have to go into Witness Protection. Did Witness Protection even apply to them if they were living in Germany? Did the FBI have a German branch? Nicky would ask Neil later.
"No, silly," Nicky said, laughing slightly at the look on Erik's face. "I figured out who is going to be my best man."
Erik looked at the clock.
"Nicky, it is 3 AM."
"Yes it is! And now that I've solved my best man dilemma, I can finally sleep peacefully!"
With a final shrug, Erik laid down and went back to bed. Whatever, Nicky could bask in his genius without him.
And it really was genius — Neil was the perfect answer. Neil was practically Nicky's baby. Sure, Andrew was the one he fell in love with, but Nicky was the one who introduced him into modern society. He gave his pop culture info a much needed update, managed to text him enough freshman year that he stopped looking like a startled deer every time his phone buzzed. Yes, Nicky had acted like an asshole when he first met Neil, his concept of boundaries at the time extremely lacking, but with the help of Andrew's knives and a lot of self-reflection with Erik, Nicky knew he had to move past that.
Nicky was so grateful that Neil had forgiven him, given him a second chance, and from then on Nicky was determined to take Neil under his wing. Neil to his credit — as much as Nicky could compare him to a feral raccoon — didn't reject Nicky's efforts (much). He let himself be pulled from store to store, listened to Nicky's ramblings about his demonic English professor, played video games with him when Nicky invited him over. Even before his thing with Andrew (which, how on Earth did Nicky miss that? His gaydar was so broken), Nicky considered Neil to be a part of the family.
Nicky couldn't lie and say he wasn't worried that he would stay in touch with his family after he left for Germany. Andrew was a notoriously dry texter willing to block someone for the smallest slight, and Aaron would be a great texting partner until he'd put his phone down and forget to write back for two months. Nicky had wrangled those two into agreeing to weekly calls (a miracle on its own, 20-year-old Nicky would have said he was lying), but Neil was still an unknown. Nicky taught that boy how to text, he knew nothing was a guarantee.
To Nicky's delight, Neil didn't stop texting him when Nicky graduated. He'd reply to Nicky's texts, even if it was just with a thumbs up or a 'cool', and sometimes he even reached out on his own! Whenever Nicky would pick up his phone to see a rare unprompted text from Neil, he felt like a proud father. Aaron had made a gagging noise when Nicky bragged to him.
It was a shame all of his children couldn't get along. Just when Aaron and Andrew had made peace, Aaron and Neil decided they were mortal enemies. Nicky knew though, just like all parents did, you have to pick your battles.
Nicky always knew that Neil was a part of their family, but Neil still being willing to talk to Nicky even when they weren't forced to be on the bus for 10 hours together soothed the darker, more insecure parts of himself. Neil had time and time again proved to be best man material, and Nicky was proud of himself for coming up with this solution.
By picking Neil, Nicky wasn't choosing a favorite between the twins, but he was still choosing a family member he loved dearly. Kevin had crossed his mind briefly, but the thought of Kevin having to give a best man speech made Nicky laugh so hard his sides ached. After he had finished laughing, Erik vetoed the idea. Go figure.
Now, if Nicky wanted Neil to be his best man, he had to go about this the right way. Asking Neil over the phone would lead to an immediate rejection. Neil, as much as Nicky loved him, was not an instinctively… normal person. That sounded harsh, but Nicky meant that lovingly.
Neil needed a more personal touch when it came to these things. Overwhelming Neil with the power of friendship and affection tended to override his settings, so much so that if Nicky were to throw out the question, he'd be too confused to say no. Nicky loved his little baby deer, but he wasn't afraid to pull out the headlights to make him freeze.
The plan went like this: Nicky would fly to Neil's city (Seattle, where he played for the Seattle Greenhawks), surprise him after a game, and cook up some dinner in Neil's pathetically sad apartment.
It went off perfectly at first. Nicky arrived at Seattle, mourning his sleep schedule and his perfect hair (the city's wind had a vendetta against him), and went to Neil's game. He bought Neil's merch, a jersey with JOSTEN splayed out on the back and cheered like a maniac when Neil got onto the court in the second half. The Greenhawks lost, but it was less because of Neil and more due to a truly incompetent defense line. Nicky could do better, and in his prime he had done better.
Nicky's bones creaked too much now even at the thought of Exy. He was getting old.
However, when Nicky went to the back entrance where he knew Neil got out of to avoid paparazzi, he was faced with his first problem: Andrew was there.
Not that Andrew was a problem! Nicky loved his stabby baby cousin, but having him there while he asked Neil to be his best man opened up an entirely new can of worms.
Nicky tried to turn around discretely, but Andrew's eagle eyes had already caught him.
"Nicky?" Andrew said in his version of disbelief. That really just meant the usual monotone with the last syllable slightly higher pitched.
Well, it was too late to back out. Nicky had to commit to the bit. He bounced over to his cousin.
"ANDREW! Oh my god! What are you doing here?"
Andrew blinked at him, unimpressed by Nicky's high pitched voice and hand flapping. Nicky almost went to hug his cousin, but the only thing Andrew hated worse than hugs were surprises. Nicky was already on strike one, so he kept his distance.
"Why are you here." Andrew said flatly. Nicky was spared from having to reply when Neil arrived. Not seeing Nicky, Neil jogged over to Andrew (how did he still have the energy?) and gave him a brief kiss.
Nicky's squeal of delight immediately gave him away, and Neil jumped back, ready to attack until he saw it was Nicky. Neil's relief at Nicky not being some paparazzi quickly faded, and his face went from surprise to concern almost immediately.
"Nicky? What's going on? Is Erik dead?" Neil asked, looking to Andrew for an explanation.
"No, Neil, what the fuck?" Nicky said with nervous laughter. "Can't a guy just fly to the states to visit his favorite cousin-in-law? Besides what's Andrew doing here?"
Neil's nose scrunched. "We're not married. Andrew's visiting me. He lives six hours away, unlike you, who, y'know, lives across the Atlantic."
Nicky gasped dramatically and put his hand over his heart.
"Am I interrupting your date? Please tell me I'm not ruining some romantic weekend for the two of you."
"Nicky-" Andrew had started saying before Neil cut him off.
"No, you're not. I'm glad you're here, even if you're acting weird."
Nicky knew he made the right choice. He definitely was interrupting some couple's getaway, if Andrew's glare was anything to go by, but plane tickets were expensive and Nicky's wedding was in four months. The show had to go on.
"I'm on a surprise trip to the states! I was going to visit all of you, Neil was just first on the list." That was technically true, Nicky wasn't going to waste a trip without seeing his cousins. "I can go to Aaron's first though, if you guys want some time to yourselves."
Neil's nose scrunch deepened, and Nicky knew he had won.
"You can go to Aaron's," Andrew started saying, but was interrupted by Neil lightly hitting him on the shoulder.
"Nicky's already here Andrew, there's no point in sending him away." Andrew's glare deepened, but he didn't say anything else. Man, his cousin was whipped. Nicky would have stuck his tongue out at Andrew, but he was a mature adult who was getting married. Also, Andrew might remove his tongue.
"Aw, Neil, you're such a sweetie. I was planning on cooking dinner for you since I don't trust that you've been making meals for yourself, but I can wait at your apartment if you and Andrew are going out to eat."
"Staying in sounds nicer," Neil shrugged. And as if Nicky didn't love him enough, he added, "I missed your cooking anyways."
Nicky knew he wasn't lying because Neil was looking at the ground when he said it. Neil only made eye contact during heartfelt statements when he felt a need to sell the lie. Nicky stopped himself from pinching Neil's cheeks, but only barely. Andrew sensed this and lifted an eyebrow in warning.
"Neil," Nicky started, "If I went to your apartment right now and opened the fridge, would there be anything in it?"
Neil let out an offended sound. "Yes, I have groceries, Nicky."
Nicky narrowed his eyes. "Is that just because Andrew's here and he forced you to go grocery shopping?"
"Yes." Andrew said before Neil could deny. Nicky let out a laugh and threw his arms around Neil's shoulders.
"Well then, what are we waiting for? Let's go to that sterile hospital room you call an apartment."
Nicky was wrong. Nicky wasn't usually this wrong, and it felt strange. When Nicky had first visited Neil, two months after Neil had moved in, Neil barely had anything that could be classified as furniture. He had a mattress and a TV, and owned two sets of plates and silverware like a psycho. Nicky had tried to spruce up the apartment, hanging up some photos and buying curtains, but that was the extent his frail credit card could take. Ever since then, he'd taken every opportunity to tease Neil for his minimalist tastes.
This, however? This wasn't a hospital room. This was an honest-to-god apartment, and Nicky knew the only reasonable explanation for it.
"You let Allison in here," Nicky accused, and scoffed when Neil only shrugged in reply. Of course those tasteful overhead lights and dark oak coffee tables were because of her. That bitch upstaged him, even if he did note with satisfaction that the photos he had hung up remained on the wall.
Neil flopped onto a dark orange couch that must have been his pick. The rest of the room was accented in green, and it clashed horribly. Nicky loved it.
"You know Allison when she's on a mission. She and Andrew teamed up. I couldn't have stopped it if I tried."
Allison and Andrew working together? That was a scary thought. They were a little too in sync when it came to Neil's wardrobe, and he shuddered to think what they would be like during furniture shopping. He was still a little hurt that his opinion wasn't called in for consultation.
As if reading his mind, Andrew spoke up. "Allison considered your tastes a little too… garish for what we were trying to achieve."
Nicky took back every nice thing he'd ever said about Andrew. His cousin was a petty, cruel man.
He ignored the insult and turned towards the kitchen, which to his utter shock actually had supplies. Neil was now the proud owner of five (!) plates. Did Neil even know five people in Seattle?
Opening the fridge that was surprisingly well stocked (thank you Andrew), Nicky began making his specialty: Bolognese. Back when he had become a single father of two overnight, Bolognese was the only pasta Aaron and Andrew equally liked that he could make on a short amount of time. Desperation had made him an expert on this dish.
The sauce was ready and the pasta had just finished cooking when Neil and Andrew made their way to the kitchen. Neil's hair was slightly rumpled and the collar of Andrew's shirt was crooked, but Nicky wisely made no mention.
He did wiggle his eyebrows suggestively, however, and was ignored.
Dinner was peaceful, if not a little quiet. Neil had made a tiny nod when he first bit into the pasta, meaning he liked it. Nicky was glad, but Neil was tired after a game and Nicky was suffering from jet-lag, so conversation was limited. Andrew wasn't exactly going to swoop in and keep it going for all of them.
The silence was comfortable, so Nicky let it last. After their plates had been emptied and a bottle of wine broken out, Neil seemed to regain some energy. Now was as good a time as ever to pop the question.
"Neil, if you don't mind, I did want to ask you something. It's about my wedding."
Neil straightened up from where he was sitting on the couch, looking hesitant.
"Look, if Erik really did do something, I can get some people to take care of it. We can make it look like a suicide but I don't know how quickly Stuart's men can-"
"Neil, oh my god, stop. Erik and I are fine. I love him and I love him even more when he's alive." Neil let out a little grunt at that, which confused Nicky. He thought Neil liked Erik? Last time they met they had bonded over Neil's time in Germany, and Nicky had been so excited. From his memory, Neil hadn't wanted Erik dead.
"What did you want to ask?"
"Neil, my wonderfully weird mafioso murder baby, would you do me the honor of being my best man?"
And there was that deer-in-headlights expression Nicky loved so much.
"What?" Neil asked.
"What." said Andrew. When Nicky looked at Andrew he had already turned his head away, as if looking for someone else who said that.
"You want me to be your best man?" Neil repeated in confusion, "What about Andrew?"
"What about Andrew?"
"Shouldn't he be your best man?"
Nicky looked over at Andrew.
"Andrew, do you want to be my best man?"
There was a longer pause than Nicky was expecting.
"No."
"See?" Nicky said, gesturing to Neil.
"So I'm just your second choice," Neil said, crossing his arms.
"Neil, of course not," pleaded Nicky. "If I wanted Andrew or Aaron to be my best man, I have enough teenage angst blackmail material to make them do it. If I forced them, though, I'd have a miserable wedding full of grumpy Minyards."
Neil nodded. At least that he could picture.
"Neil, even if you're a little shit sometimes and you don't really know how to dress yourself and interact with people-"
"Is this supposed to be you convincing me?"
"Sorry, right. What I meant to say is that you have always been my friend, even back when you dyed your hair and had those ugly brown contacts in. None of us would be where we are without you, and even if you and Andrew aren't married you're still my family. I love you very much and you're one of my closest friends, so will you please, please, be my best man? I'll start singing if that's what it will take."
"Please don't," Neil said, looking pained.
"So you'll do it?" Nicky said, eyes bright (not with tears, Nicky wasn't about to cry).
"If you really want me to…"
"Eeee!" Nicky squealed and lunged over to hug Neil. Said man froze at first in Nicky's embrace, but when it was clear Nicky wasn't letting go, Neil gave up and relaxed into his grip.
"Nicky," Neil whispered, "I've never even been to a wedding. I'm going to mess this up."
"Neil, we're foxes," Nicky said, rolling his eyes, "I wouldn't want my wedding to be anything but a mess."
That got a genuine grin out of Neil and Nicky felt his job was done. When he pulled away (Neil sucked in a breath that was way too exaggerated, the dramatic shithead-) Nicky noticed Andrew was gone. He was about to ask where he went, when his phone started buzzing. Nicky pulled it out, and saw that it was Aaron. He accepted the call.
"You asked NEIL to be your best man?!" Aaron immediately shouted over the phone. At least that solve the mystery of where Andrew disappeared to. And this meant that the twins were talking! Look at them, bonding over their hatred for Nicky.
Yes, today had been a good day. Neil was the perfect choice for a best man.