Chapter Text
San POV:
Boring. Another music show, another fake smile, “happy” applauses, glares from haters and people who think they’re group should've won. Jongho screaming (vocalizing) in everyone's ears. This is all a mess.
I wanted to go home, “just a few more hours San!” I said to myself… for the millionth time, Yunho stood beside me, blank face as usual, didn't pay much attention to him. Didn’t have too.
I didn’t even notice when he disappeared, but as I saw Mingi bouncing and heading behind me all the other members turned to look, I didn’t for a moment. Curiosity got the best of me and I finally turned back. I saw the circle, Tomorrow X Together, Yunho, Mingi, Yeosang, Wooyoung, Hongjoong.
Then him, perfect, beaming eyes, Choi Soobin. His smile beaming, his small crescent eyes, and hand sticking out to me. I felt as if time stopped, like it was just him and I. Damn. Alluring.
“Sannie go!” I felt my Hyung shove my shoulder, “Seonghwa-Hyung!” I felt tempted too, “Go! I’ll stay Hyung” , I saw Jongho, and Hongjoong join and I knew I had to as well, “Lets just go San..” immediately we were both dragged in, my place next to Soobin. I could hear his laughter clearly now, every detail of his face made my heart do flips.
Every other sound felt blurred out, the background, everyone's faces, I could only see, feel, and hear him. Soobin. Perfect. He has such beautiful eyes… those eyes. Only his eyes.
Disappointment came when the circle was broken but was immediately replaced with hugs and more laughter, Soobins arms around my shoulder, everything felt hotter. When that face locked onto mine his smile widened, for me… for… me.
“San-hyung, you okay?” Sweet mother of pearl. His voice flowed into my ear smoothly. His voice, sweeter than a strawberry cake. “Uhm….yeah…. Yeah…” God I sound drunk. Drowsy whatever you wanna call it. “I mean… Yeah of course…!! Heh… just a little drowsy from… everything.” I wasn’t lying, I was exhausted, but Soobin took all that away.
“Well… I must part now, my members and I are going out to eat.” I was disappointed when he pulled away and called his group over to go. “Number….” I wanted his number but the words whispered from my mouth, ghostly, he didn’t hear me.
“Sannie!!” Wooyoung's slap on my shoulder brung me back. “Shit.. sorry, yeah? We leaving..?” Wooyoung nodded and I followed beside him holding his hand. I needed some stability before I started daydreaming again. God, I shouldn’t be this affected by… an idol, I can’t think like this.
Throughout the entire dinner my mind kept going back to his face, god, I just can’t stop thinking about those eyes. I could speak about them all day, Soobin, what the fuck did you do to me?
“I think someone's in love.” the voice of my captain shook me from my bite, shit, no. “Me? Love? Please.. I love Byeol more than anything.” What does my cat have to do with this..? “Listen.. San, we all saw… even all of TXT saw you and Soobin giving each other little kitty eyes. Don’t even deny it.” Yunho lightly punched my arm, but all I saw was Soobin's face. They look too similar.
“Oh please… fuck off… you all are just seeing things, seriously. We were not giving each other love eyes, please, hell no. Plus, I’m an idol, I can’t even.” I saw the looks Yeosang eyed me up and down, secretly one of the most judgemental, “What?! And you think that stopped me and Yeosang?” Mingi shoved his chopsticks in my face, great.
“No one said that… i… whatever, think whatever you want.” I rolled my eyes, I’d never admit that outloud. “Bunch of gay people..” Jongho? Dear me, “Wow Jongho, so snarky.” I took his dumpling, maybe he’d learn more respect. Doubt it.
“Hey..!” He punched my shoulder, rude as hell. I swear, he’s so cute when he’s angry, so instead of being angry at him I just pull him in and nuzzle my cheek against his, “Awww, 귀여운 (cute), such a cute maknae!” He tried to attack me when I tried to kiss his cheek but the waiter came just in time.
Going home was even worse, sasaeng atiny's following us to our cars, we all gave small waves but my goodness were they weird, and just as I got in my car I saw him, Soobin, walking into the exact restaurant I was just at, god he looked flawless, the hair, the clothes… the eyes, god damnit.
I doubt he saw me but getting home and taking a shower was impossible. I couldn’t help but stroke myself while just thinking about him, shirtless, muscles flexing, abs maybe? I heard myself panting and groaning, I could feel my face scrunching up, brows furrowing as I felt my hits stuttering into my hand. Taking deep breaths while cleaning the sperm off the wall.
“You okay Sannie?” Wooyoung asked me, I was absentmindedly stroking his hair while he was on my chest. “Oh… yeah, just been such a long day.” Wooyoung was the person I could talk to, he really meant the world to me, he was one of my closest friends. “Yeah.. been too long.” I could feel him nuzzling closer into my neck placing a soft kiss there, it wasn’t romantic, but I know he wanted to ground me. “I just wanna sleep..” I grabbed him and pulled him closer, big spooning him, I seriously needed some comfort.
“Just sleep it off you big kitty.” He pulled me close too and placed a small kiss to my cheek. Goodnight Wooyoung.