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Oscar had always thought love was supposed to be simple. Not easy, but simple. One person, one certainty, one feeling that settled somewhere deep in your chest and stayed there, steady and warm. For years it had been all the truth. Lily never felt complicated, she was quiet in the ways that mattered, observant in the ways that counted. She knew he needed space before he did, knew how to read the small shifts in his tone, the subtle tension in his shoulders when it was all too much for him. Being with her felt like breathing, natural, constant, necessary. Oscar loved her, to the moon and back, and then one more trip around the whole space. Which is why he never questioned anything else, even if it was right in front of his nose.
It started as something harmless, an idol, a celebrity crush. Lando Norris had always been.. well, Lando Norris. Fast, confident, a little chaotic in a way Oscar pretended not to enjoy as much as he did. For years, Oscar had been following Lando’s rise to the top, cheering him on as any other fan would. He watched him the way you watch someone you admire, someone just slightly out of reach. It was never that serious, just something light, passable, forgettable.
Except then they became teammates and suddenly Lando wasn’t a distant idea Oscar cheered for, he was right there. Laughing too loudly in the garage. Throwing so many stupid jokes that they couldn’t catch a breath of air. Leaning too close when he was explaning something. Grabbing Oscar’s hand, shoulder, leg, mid-conversation like it was the most natural thing in the world.
And Oscar… Oscar didn’t notice when it stopped being harmless, when it started to get real.
“Oi, mate, you listening?”
Oscar blinked, snapping out of it. Lando was looking at him, half-smiling, eyebrows raised.
“You’ve been staring at me for like ten seconds..” he said. “Did you hear a word I said?”
“I wasn’t staring.” Oscar said automatically.
Lando grinned. “Right.”
Oscar looked away. He didn’t think about the way his chest tightened for a second. Didn’t think about the way that smile lingered in his head for a long time after. Didn’t think about it at all.
Lily noticed it right away. Of course she did. She always does. It wasn’t anything obvious at first, just… patterns. The way Oscar’s voice softened when he talked about Lando, the way his attention drifted toward him in a room without meaning too, the way he was getting excited when it was a few days away from a race, which meant he and Lando would be reuinted. His expression changed, just slightly, but enough. Enough for her to recognise it.
She waited. Not because she was unsure, but because she knew Oscar needed to catch up to things she already understood.
They were back in their hotel room after a race. Oscar was just going through today’s race stats, pictures and pinpoints which were commented on the debrief. He came across a photo of him and Lando, looking at each other, smiling from ear to ear, holding their chapagnes. They were the top two, Lando was just slightly better.
“You look at him the same way, you know?”
Oscar looked up and behind him, confusion flickering across his face. “What?”
Lily leaned against the doorframe, arms loosely crossed, a faint smile on her lips. “Lando,” she said gently, looking at the picture, “you look at him the same way you look at me.”
Oscar let out a short laugh, shaking his head. “That’s not… no. That’s not true.”
It came too fast. Too sharp. Lily didn’t move, she watched him carefully, a smile still on her lips. “Don’t you think I would know what that looks like? Oscar Piastri’s heart eyes aren’t exactly subtle.”
His stomach dropped. “That’s not..” he started again, but the words didn’t land this time. Because somewhere deep down, something shifted. Something uncomfortably close to recognition. “I love you.” he said instead and walked towards her. And that part, that part was true.
Lily brought her hand up to touch his cheek. “I know you do.”
“Then..” he started.
“That doens’t mean you cannot love somebody else too.”
The silence that followed was heavy. He was searching her eyes for anything… jealousy, disgust, discomfort, but found nothing but adoration. He stared at her like she’d just said something impossible. “That’s not how it works.” he said quietly, maybe more to himself than to her.
Lily tilted her head slightly. “Isn’t it?”
Oscar opened his mouth, then closed it again, because the problem was… he didn’t actually know.
She took his hand and dragged him to the couch, making him sit down and sat beside him. “I’ve been there.”
Oscar made a confused face. “What?”
“Before you,” she continues, her voice calm, “I was with someone else, and then I met you.”
Something in his chest tightened.
“I loved him, I really did.” she paused briefly to take Oscar’s hands. “But I loved you too.”
Oscar just stared at her, not even knowing what to say.
“I didn’t understand it at first. I though something was wrong with me. That I had to choose, that one of those feeling had to be less than the other. That I somehow confused love with familiarity or excitement.”
“What happened?” Oscar asked quietly, as if he was scared the question would scare her off.
Her lips pressed together, but not in hesitation, but in memory. “He couldn’t accept it. He got jealous, possesive, didn’t want me anywhere near you. No matter how much I promised I would’t try anything.”
Oscar’s breath caught and suddenly, things made sense. The distance, the silence, the way she disappeared for a while before coming back like nothing happened. “I just though… you didn’t like me, that you got bored of me.” he said, barely above a whisper.
Lily shook her head. “I was trying to make it easier.”
“For who?”
“For him… and for you. How would I tell you all this back then, you would take me for some kind of a crazy person. And with him… it didn’t work. I was miserable, because I was trying to force myself not to feel what I felt, to feel less. I was trying to convince myself I loved him more than I could ever love you, because he’s been everything to me. But even then I knew I couldn’t.” She exhaled slowly. “So I left.”
Even though you still loved him, Oscar thought. She seemed to have read it on his face.
“Yes,” she said. “Even then.”
The room was quiet and for the first time, Oscar felt something crack open inside him. The doors he never dared to open.
“He loves you too.” Lily added softly.
As if all this wasn’t enough for today, she dropped another bomb on him. “What?”
She just continued looking at him with a smile, not saying a thing.
“No, he doesn’t, he’s like that with everyone.” he tried to convince. Who? Doesn't matter.
“Okay.” was all she said.
The weeks that followed were unbearable, because once you notice something, you can’t unsee it. Oscar started picking up on everything. The way Lando’s hand lingered just a second too long. The way he loooked at him when he thought Oscr wasn’t paying attention. The way their conversations drifted into something softer, more personal. And the worst part? Oscar felt it too. Every damn time. It wasn’t sudden, it was quiet, steady, exactly what he had with Lily, and it terrified him. Because this.. this wasn’t supposed to happen, not like this, not when he already had everything.
It started blending into everything. Into race weekend, into debriefs, into quiet in-betweens that used to mean nothing and now meant too much. Oscar found himself looking for Lando and gravitating towards him without meaning to. In a room full of people, his eyes would drift, like they already know where to look, like they had mind of their own. And every time they landed, Lando was already looking at him. Not always, but enough. Enough to feel intentional, enough for Oscar’s chest to tighten in that same, awful, addictive way.
“Osc, mate, you’re doing it again.”
Oscar blinked, snapping back. “What?”
Lando was once again grinning, but there was something else there too, something quieter, something that didn’t quite match the teasing tone. “Staring,” he said. “bit concerning, honestly.”
“I’m not staring.” Oscar muttered, turning away from Lando towards the screen in front of them, blush creeping up his cheeks.
Lando leaned in closer anyway. Close enough that Oscar could feel the warmth of him, the brush of his shoulder, the faint scent of whatever cologne Lando wore, that Oscar started to recognise without trying.
“Right.” Lando said softly in his ear.
Oscar’s mouth tightened in a straight line, his cheeks becoming even more red, but he didn’t move away. Neither did Lando.
Later that night, Oscar lied in bed next to Lily, staring at the ceiling. She was half-asleep, one arm drapped loosely over his waist, her head on his chest. It was grounding, familiar, safe. Oscar turned his head slightly, looking at her.
This was love. He knew this. He felt this. So why is his mind drifting somewhere else. Why does another voice, another laugh, another pair of eyes, make him feel it too? He swallowed, squeezing his eyes shut. This didn’t change anything. It can’t. It won’t.
“You’re thinking about him again.” Lily said in her sleepy soft voice. It wasn’t a question.
“...yeah.” His voice came out quieter than he expected. Barely a whisper.
Lily hummed softly, like she’d been expecting that answer all along.
“I don’t understand it.” he admitted after a beat. “It doesn’t make sense.”
“What part?”
“All of it.” He let out a sigh. “I have you. I love you. That should be enough.”
Lily didn’t react immediately. She rose herself, still a hand around his waist. “It is enough.”
Oscar frowned, looking at her as she’s lying. “Then why does it feel like this?”
Lily reached out, brushing her fingers lightly across his cheek. “Because love doesn’t work like equations, you don’t solve one and everything else disappears.”
Oscar let out a snort. “That would be easier.”
“I know.”
Silence settled again, softer this time. Oscar swallowed.
“I keep noticing things… Stuff I didn’t before. The way he looks at me, the way he..” he cut himself off, shaking his head slightly. “And I don’t know if it’s real or if I’m just… seeing what I want to see.”
“What do you want to see?” she asks quietly.
Oscar hesitated. That was the problem, wasn't it? “I don’t know.”
She shifts closer, leaning her head on his shoulder. “You don’t have to have all the answers right now.”
“It feels like I should.”
“Why?”
“Because this affects you too,” he said immediately. “not just me.”
Lily lifted her head slightly, looking properly at him. “Oscar, you feeling something isn’t a betrayal.”
He look at her, searching. “Even if it’s… this?”
“Especially if it’s this.”
That made something in his chest tighten. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Then don’t lie to me.” she smiled, small but steady. “That’s the only thing that would hurt.”
“I’m not trying to.”
“I know you aren't. You’re allowed to feel more than one thing. It doesn’t take anything away from what we have.”
Oscar held her gaze. “And what if it does?”
Lily didn’t hesitate. “Then we deal with it together.”
That certainity in her voice made something in him settle, just a little. Not completely, but just enough to breathe again. For a moment, she shifted her head back down to his chest and the room fell quiet again. Oscar stared at the ceiling, but his thoughts weren’t racing as wildly anymore.
“I think he feels it too.” he said suddenly, maybe trying to convince himself more than her.
Lily didn’t even lift her head. “I know.” She did tell him that already before.
Oscar let out a small, disbelieving laugh. “You’re way too calm about this.”
She smiled into the dark. “Someone has to be.”
“Thank you.” he said.
“For what?”
“For not making me choose.”
Lily raised her head just enough to look at him again. “Love isn’t supposed to feel like a loss.” she said gently. “Not if it’s real.”
Oscar let those words settle somewhere deep, somewhere important. And for the first time since all of this started, he didn’t feel like he was breaking something, just… discovering it.
“You ever think about what you’d be doing if you weren’t here?” Lando’s voice was quieter than usual.
They were sitting side by side, backs against the wall of the McLaren garage, the noise of everything else muffled outside.
Oscar glanced at him. “No, not really.”
Lando hummmed. “Yeah. Me neither.” A pause. “Reckon I’d be bored.”
Oscar let out a small laugh. “You? Bored?” he said, turning his head slightly. “That’t be a first.”
“Oi,” Lando nudged him with his shoulder. “I can be serious sometimes, you know?”
“I have yet to see that miracle.”
Lando huffed out a quiet laugh, but it faded quicker than usual. The space between them settled into something quieter, heavier. Oscar felt it immediately. Before... he would have ignored it, brushed it off as nothing, but now.. now he noticed everything. The way Lando didn’t pull back after the nudge, the way his shoulder stayed pressed against Oscar’s, like he hadn’t even considered moving, the way his gaze lingered just a second longer when Oscar glanced at him again. Oscar’s chest tightened, but he didn’t look away this time.
“You don’t seem bored.” Oscar said after a moment.
“No.” Lando said, a soft smile appearing on his face. For some reason, it didn’t feel like he was talking about racing anymore.
Silence stretched between them, but it wasn’t uncomfortable, not really, just calm.
Lando leaned his head back against the wall, exhailing slowly. “Sometimes I think I wouldn’t know what to do with myself if all of this just stopped.”
Oscar followed his words, eyes tracing the line of his jaw, the way the light hit his face. “You’d figure it out.”
“Yeah?” Lando glanced at him again. “You seem pretty confident about that.”
Oscar shrugged slightly. “You always do.”
Lando held his gaze again and smiled, softer this time. Not the loud, easy grin everyone else got. Something more real, Oscar felt it like a pull. He didn’t look away, didn’t even try.
A second passed, then another. Lando’s smile wavered slightly, his brows pulling together just a bit. “… you’re staring again.” he said, quieter this time.
Oscar tilted his head just slightly, a faint smile appearing on his face. “So what if I am?”
The words slipped out easier than he expected, lighter, like he hadn’t just crossed some invisible line he’s been dancing around for weeks.
Lando blinked, like it caught him off guard. “What?” he let out a small breath, half laugh, half something else. “Since when do you admit to it?”
Oscar turned his head back against the wall, closed his eyes and smiled. “Since I stopped pretending I’m not.”
There was a silence, like Lando was trying to figure out what was changed, because something had. Oscar wasn’t pulling back anymore, wasn’t deflecting, wasn’t pretending this was just… nothing. “You’re weird today.” Lando said, no real bite to it.
Oscar snorted and looked at him with a raised eyebrow. “Only today?”
“Fair,” Lando muttered, glancing away for a sencond, than back again, like he couldn’t help it. His gaze dropped, just briefly, to Oscar’s lips before flicking back up. It was quick, easy to miss, but Oscar didn’t. His breath caught, just slightly, but he didn’t move, didn’t call it out, he just let it sit there between them.
“Did something happen?” Lando asked after a moment, more careful now.
Oscar hesitated, Lily’s words echoed in his head. You're allowed to feel more than one thing. He exhaled slowly. “Just… thinking.”
“Dangerous.” Lando said automatically, but it came out softer than usual.
Oscar let out a small snort. “Yeah. Starting to realise that.”
He shifted slightly, his shoulder brushing more firmly against Lando’s. He didn’t move away and neither did Lando. “Do you even think about…” Oscar started, then paused.
Lando turned his head slightly. “About what?”
Oscar looked at him again, properly this time. “About people?”
Lando raised an eyebrow. “People?”
Oscar nodded, gaze steady now. “Like… if things were different.”
Lando stilled. The shift was immediate, subtle, but there. “What do you mean?” he asked.
Oscar hesitated. This was it. The moment where he could just step back, laugh it off, pretend it was a joke… but he didn’t. “Just different. Timing, circumstances...”
Lando watched him carefully now, really carefully, like he was trying to read between every word. “Yeah, I think about that sometimes.”
Oscar nodded, like it didn’t send something warm and terrifying through his chest at the same time.
“Why?” Lando asked.
Oscar held his gaze for a second then looked away, just briefly. “Just wondering.” Not a lie. Not the full truth either, but closer than he’d ever gotten before. Lando didn’t push, but he didn’t look away this time either. Oscar felt Lando’s fingers shift, just slightly, like he was considering something, testing, waiting. His heart picked up but he stayed still, letting the moment stretch, letting the choice hang in there between them and for the first time, it didn’t feel like something he had to run away from.
Lando’s hand shifted again, slower now, careful, like he was giving Oscar time to stop him, like he was waiting for a sign. Oscar turned his hand slightly, just enough for their fingers to properly touch. To fit.
The air changed. Completely. Oscar could feel it everywhere, his chest, his throat, the way his pulse started rising faster and faster.
Lando exhaled quietly. “Oscar…” he said, barely above a whisper. Not a warning, more like a question.
Oscar turned his head, they were closer than before, way too close. Close enough that he could see the tiny shift in Lando’s expression, the uncertainity, the want, the hesitation sitting right beside it.
Before… Oscar would’ve panicked, pulled back, made a joke. But now… he didn’t. His gaze dropped, just for a second, to Lando’s lips, then back up.
Lando noticed, how could he not. His breath caught, just slightly, and for a moment niether of them moved. Like they were both waiting for the other to decide what this was. What it meant.
Oscar leaned closer, not much, but just enough to close the distance by a fraction. Choice.
Lando froze, not pulling away, but not moving forward either. “Oscar…” he said again, this time more strained, like he was trying to hold onto something slipping through his fingers. “You…”
Footsteps echoed from somewhere near by, voices getting closer. Too close. Both of them pulled back at the same time, like the moment snapped, like it had never been there at all.
A mechanic’s voice cut through the air. “There you two are, we need-”
Oscar was already looking away, Lando stood up too quickly. “Yeah,” Lando said, clearing his throat, ”coming.”
The moment was gone, but not really. Oscar stayed seated for a second longer, staring in front of him, his heart racing like he’d just came out of the car. Except it felt worse… or better. He didn’t really know. Lando hovered for a second, like he wanted to say something, but he didn’t. Oscar watched him go, and this time, there was no pretending.
The race that followed felt unreal. Oscar drove like something had clicked into place, like every decision came half a second faster, cleaner, sharper. Everything just… worked.
And Lando, Lando was right there with him, chasing, matching, pushing. It felt different.
They crossed the line first and second. Oscar first and Lando just behind him, a mere second.
The celebrations were loud, too loud. Champagne, laughter, cameras flashing from every direction, people talking over each other, hands clapping their shoulders, pulling them into interviews, into photos, into moments that were supposed to belong to everyone. But somehow, Oscar only noticed Lando, a grin from ear to ear, even though he came second.
They ended up side by side again, a little removed from the chaos, still buzzing from adrenaline, from the race, from everything that hasn’t been said.
Lando was laughing about something, breathless, shaking his head. “That last lap, mate, I thought I had you-”
Oscar didn’t hear the rest, not really. Because Lando was close, too close, and all he could do was stare at him like many times before.
It wasn’t quiet like the garage, it was loud, messy, chaotic… but somehow, that made it worse… or better. Oscar didn’t know anymore.
“You drove insane.” Lando said, grinning, eyes bright. “Actually annoying.”
Oscar huffed out a small laugh. “You weren’t exactly slow either.”
“Yeah, well,” Lando stepped closer, voice dropping just slightly, “next time,” his hand caught the front of Oscar’s race suit, not hard, but just enough. Oscar stilled, the world blurred at the edges. Lando didn’t seem to notice what he’d done at first, or maybe he did. His grip didn’t loosen. “I’ll get you.” Lando’s gaze flickered, down, then back up.
Oscar’s breath caught. Not again. Not here. But he didn’t move, didn’t stop it, didn’t want to. Instead he leaned forward, just a fraction away, again.
“Careful.” Lando muttered, but it didn’t sound like a joke.
Oscar’s heart was racing. “Why?” he asked, cheeks red, slightly smiling. Lando’s grip tightened just a little more.
“Guys, over here!” a photographer waved at them, standing few feet right behing Oscar, so he just saw Oscar’s back and Lando’s head behind. Thankfully.
They both snapped back, Lando letting go of Oscar’s suit like it burned. Oscar stepped back, running a hand through his hair, turning around.
“Yeah, yeah!” Oscar smiled politely at the photographer, quickly catching Lando’s waist to steady himself for the picture. Lando’s hand instinctively ended up on Oscar’s shoulders.
“Amazing, thank you guys.” Photographer was quick and moved on to another team.
“Oscar!” Lily yelled, few feet away. She grinned and smiled wide at them. Oscar immediately strided out to meet her halfway, falling into each other’s arms. “You were incredible.” she said with her hands coming to cup his face. She kissed him, softly, easy, like she always did. Oscar kissed her back, because he loved her, because that part never changed. They pulled apart, she didn’t move far. Her hands stayed on his face for a little longer, her eyes scanning his, quick, subtle, but deliberate. Like she was checking something… or confirming it.
“Oscar, we need you for the media!”
He groaned quietly, letting his forhead drop briefly against hers. “Duty calls,” he muttered. “I’ll be right back.”
Lily smiled. “Go.”
He pressed one more quick kiss to her lips, then pulled away, already going. But not before his eyes flickered, just briefly, back to Lando. Then he was gone. Now there were just two.
Lando shifted his weight awkwardly, hands finding their way into his pockets like he didn’t quite know what to do with them.
“Uh, hi.” he let out a small breath. “Congrats. On the win.”
Lily looked at him and then laughed. “Thanks. You were amazing too.”
Lando blinked slightly. “Yeah, well… P2 isn’t exactly-”
“Don’t do that.” she cut him off gently.
He frowned. “Do what?”
“Downplay it,” she said. “you were right there with him.”
Lando let out a quiet huff, something almost like a laugh. “Yeah,” he said. “that’s kinda the problem.” The words slipped out before he could stop them.
Lily’s expression didn’t change much but something in her eyes softened. “Is it?”
Lando hesitated, because suddenly, it didn’t feel like they were talking about the race anymore. “I just mean…” he rubbed the back of his neck, uncertain. “It’s competitive.”
“Mhm. As if you don’t thrive on it too.” She smiled, a knowing look in her eye.
Lando laughed, shaking his head lightly. “Yeah, well… doesn’t mean I have to like losing.”
“You didn’t lose.” Lily simply said.
He didn’t answer that, because that wasn’t what he meant.
There was a pause, not awkward, just careful. Lily studied him for a second, like she was piecing something together she already almost understood. “You’re in your head, just like him.”
Lando blinked. “Yeah?”
She nodded. “He’s got that look in his eyes when he’s overanalising and overthinking things. You got the same one just now.” Lando huffed but said nothing. “But on track, you were both just driving with one another, without thinking, as far as I could tell.” she smiled.
“Yeah, sounds about right.” Lando smiled right back.
“He’s lighter, you know,” she continued. “with you.” Lando stilled. “He doesn’t second guess as much, he just… is.” she added.
Lando looked away, jaw tightening slightly. He didn’t trust himself to respond to that.
“I think that matters.” Lily said.
Lando let out a small laugh. “Yeah,” he said, lightly. “I mean, he’s always like that. Overthinking everything. That’s just… him.” It was meant to sound casual, normal, but it landed a bit heavier than he intended.
Lily didn’t react straight away. She just watched him for a moment. “I think you notice it more than most people do.” she said eventually.
“Notice what?”
“How he is,” she said simply. “When he relaxes. When he doesn’t.”
Lando huffed. “That’s just… we’re teammates, we gotta know.”
“You work well together.” She smiled, knowingly.
A beat passed. Then she checked her watch. “I should go.”
Lando nodded. “Yeah, of course.”
She turned slightly, then paused just briefly before leaving, not looking at him directly, but in the distance at Oscar who was just talking for an interview. “You both look like you forget everything else when you’re together.” Then she walked away.
Lando stayed still, his gaze moving from Lily to where she was just looking, at Oscar. That didn’t feel like a compliment, but it didn’t feel like a warning either, and that was the problem.
Lando had found himself replaying everything. The garage, the suit in his hands, the way Oscar looked at him like it meant something, like he meant something. Lily’s voice lived around in his head: He's lighter with you.
Lando didn’t know what to do with that, where to put it. So he did the only thing he could think of, he stepped back. Not dramatically, not in a way anyone would notice, but Oscar did. Shorter conversations, less lingering, no unnecessary touches, no moments that could stretch into something else. Professional. Safe. It should’ve made things easier, but it didn’t. It made everything worse. Because now Oscar noticed the absence, the space where he’d been building something, gone, and he didn’t know why. So he closed out.
The next race weekend felt off from the start. Qualifying didn’t go their way, small mistakes, bad timing, frustration creeping in earlier than usual.
And the race… the race was worse. Nothing clicked. No rhythm, no flow, just constant, low lovel irritation that never quite boiled over… until it did. They drove like never before, being in each other’s way, few times almost causing crashes. Their minds were not on track, not even slightly.
Forth and fifth… Not terrible, but not good enough, not for them.
The room felt too small, too tense. Oscar was half sat on the desk, while Lando was closing the door, walking towards Oscar.
“That didn’t make any sense…” Lando says, voice controlled. Too controlled. “Turn 6 cost us both positions.”
“I had nowhere to go.” Oscar snaps back at him immediately.
“You had just enough-”
“No, I didn’t.”
It wasn’t about turn 6. It hasn’t been for a while.
“You hesitated.” Lando steps closer, without realising. “That’s why-”
“Oh, so it’s my fault now?” Oscar snaps back.
Lando scoffs. “I didn’t say that-”
“You didn’t have to.”
Lando yells. “Mate, I’m just trying to talk about what happened, you can’t just-”
“Just what?” Oscar cuts him.
Oscar looks at him then, really looks, and something in him shifts. Because Lando is right there, too close again, but different than before. Held back, careful, like he’s afraid of what happens if he isn’t.
Lando takes in a deep breath. “You can’t just shut me out, instead of…”
“Instead of what? Doing it your way?” Oscar’s chest is now rising quickly, face red, ready to snap out.
Lando just scoffs and looks away in the distance. “What is that suppposed to mean?”
“You know exactly what it means. What Lando wants, Lando does.”
And suddenly, it wasn’t about the race anymore.
Lando ran a hand through his hair, clearly annoyed. “You’ve been off all weekend,” he said looking at Oscar, sharper now. “Not just today.”
“Oh, right. And you’ve been, what? Perfect?” Oscar shots back.
“That’s not what I said.”
“No, but you’re acting like it.” Oscar crosses his arms.
“You’re not even here half of the time,” Lando said. “you’re in your head, avoiding everyone, overthinking every move instead of just feeling it.”
Oscar laughed, but there was no humour in it. “That’s rich,” he said. “considering you’ve been the one avoiding me.”
That made Lando stop for a second, “I’m not avoiding you.” It was a lie and they both knew it.
“No?” Oscar asked anyway.
Lando just shook his head.
“Right,” Oscar muttered. “so the whole ‘barely talking to me unless you have to’ thing is just… what? Strategy?”
Lando’s jaw tightened. “You’re reading too much into it.”
“Am I?” Oscar was now pissed. “Because, from where I’m standing, it looks pretty obvious. You’re standing here as if you’re gonna vanish into thin air if you get any closer to me. Like I’m the plague you don’t wanna catch.”
Lando looks between them. He notices himself standing tightly, his arms in his pockets, holding perfectly still so he doesn’t touch Oscar, who is a step away from him. He knows exactly why is it like that, and yet he turns it around. “Yeah, let’s put it all on me, you take one thing and turn it into something bigger than it is.”
Oscar stares at him. “And you pretend like it’s nothing when it’s not.”
Lando looks back at him, something flickering across his face. “Maybe it should be nothing.”
There it was. Oscar scoffs. “Yeah? And how’s that working out for you?” he asks in a teasing tone.
Lando tries to scoff back, but it comes out more as uneven shrudded breath. “At least I know where I stand.”
That… that does it. Oscar pushed himself off the desk, closing the distance completely now, only their faces were inches apart. “Then what is it, Lando?” he said, voice low, controlled in a way that was somehow almost too much for Lando. “Because I’m clearly missing something.”
Lando lets out a breath, which causes Oscar chills. “You’re making this into something it shouldn’t be.”
Oscar doesn’t move. “If it’s nothing,” he says quietly, “then why are you acting like it’s something?”
Lando didn’t answer, just stared at him wide eyed. Because that was the problem. “It was one moment,” he said, quietly now. “we don’t have to make it into-”
Oscar didn’t let him finish. He grabbed him and kissed him. Deliberate, hard, immediate. Cutting the words out of his mouth before they could land.
Lando froze, completely, for a split second, like his brain hadn’t caught up yet. Then instinct kicked in. His hand came up, grabing the behind of Oscar's neck as he kissed him back. It wasn’t careful, it wasn’t soft. It was frustration and confusion and something that had been building for weeks with nowhere to go. And then Lando pulled back fast, like he’d just realised what was happening.
“What the hell are you doing?” he said, breath uneven.
Oscar didn’t move, didn’t step away. “I was trying to talk to you.” he said.
Lando let out a disbelieving laugh. “By doing that?”
“You weren’t listening.”
“That’s because you’re not making any sense!” Lando whines.
Oscar shook his head. “No.” he said quietly. “You’re just pretending you don’t understand.”
Silence. Lando’s expression shifted. Not frustration anymore, something else, something harder to ignore. “You have Lily.” he said weakly, less certain.
“I know.” Oscar said calmly.
“Then why would you-”
“Because I have you too.” Oscar cuts in.
That stopped him. Lando blinks. “What?”
Oscar held his gaze. “I have you the same way I have her. I need you the same way I need her.” Oscar’s hands were now cupping Lando’s face. “I love you the same way I love her.”
Lando blinked. Once. Twice. “That’s not supposed to work like that…” He says quietly now, not sure if he’s saying it to himself or to Oscar.
“That’s exactly what I said.” Oscar smiles. “Then Lily told me it was okay, that she understood.”
“Wait.. she knows?” Lando was now in full confusion mode.
Oscar laughs. “Yeah, she was the one who made me realise that it’s you too. She knew it before I did.”
You both look like you forget everything else when you’re together. So she really knew it all.
“She tried to tell me too, you know?” Lando smiled.
Oscar smiled back. “Yeah, she told me she left you there looking like a lost puppy.”
“So, this...” Lando motiones between them. “is okay?”
“More than okay.” Oscar whisperes before leaning back in to kiss Lando. This time the kiss is soft, calm and steady. Just like Oscar found love to be.
Because at the end, you do love more than one person. To some it comes in a line, not intertwining, but to others, it comes at once, like freight train.