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Mike Wheeler had a million thoughts at all time
Mike Wheeler had a million thoughts at all time. Naturally, as overwhelming as it is, he decided to collectively ignore them all.
Currently, at the moment he only had one and no choice to linger on it.
His best friend of 10 years had just come out. He bravely told a room of 15- mostly unknown to Will- people that he liked boys. Mike was so proud of him but there was just something in his nervous rambling Mike was stuck on.
“So.. who is Tammy?"
“I think he was just using Tammy to describe that he had a crush on someone who didn’t like him back.” Dustin chimed in from next to Mike, watching where Will had just walked out of the room.
After Will came out, everyone immediately went back into battle mode. They all marched back to the truck ready to take on Vecna and the Upside Down once and for all, everyone but the three boys- Dustin, Lucas, and Mike.
The three don’t even remember a life without Will. They’ve been best friends for as long as they know. They’ve seen first hand the bullying Will’s faced. Mike's seen how his Dad used to treat him, what he and so many others in the town called him.
For most of Will’s life he has been treated horribly. Now, knowing that the thing Will used to be cursed at or hit for something he wasn’t is true? How much Will struggled with this, alone, because of how much he probably hated himself for it was dawning on all three of them.
Mike feels disgusted. How could he not notice Will struggling so much.
It’s not my fault you don’t like girls.
I don’t like girls.
Mike felt his throat dry up.
“It’s a weird way to describe it though.” Dustin stopped staring at the exit Will just left through. Mike couldn’t. “The only Tammy we know is Tammy Tompson. She was in Robin and Nance’s grade, and we know Will has been hanging out with Robin recently..” He trailed off.
Lucas raised his brow. “Did Will come out to Robin? Before he told us?” Mike finally tore his gaze away from the hallway, eyes moving straight to Lucas. He scrunched his face up.
“Before us? Besides, even if he did, we shouldn’t talk about it.” Lucas just held his hand up in defeat.
Dustin continued. “I don't think who Tammy is relevant. More him having a crush on a guy and then not liking him back.”
Who wouldn’t like Will? Mike couldn’t imagine anyone not liking Will back. He was the one out of the whole party who had the most girls like him. Mike couldn’t exactly say if that translated to the amount of guys that would like him, but that didn’t matter. It was Will. He was brave, kind, a good friend, put up with so much and still came out so selfless. The only bad trait was he was too selfless sometimes.
“Right, right.” Lucas nodded again. There a slight silence that fell over everyone, like everyone was too scared to ask the question they wanted to. Lucas seemed to be the bravest out of the three. “So who do you think he liked?”
Dustin was all too fast to respond. “I mean who are his friends? Just us, right?”
As much as Mike hated prying like this, the question was eating at him too. Besides, he had to know who this dumbass who didn’t like Will was. Maybe he could make him realize what he’s missing. “…Well his friends in California, too.”
“I mean he could have.” Dustin shrugged but scrunched his nose, shaking his head. He looked at Mike. “But I don't remember him mentioning anyone, or any friends so I guess it's just between us.”
Mike blinked. “Wait, Will told you about his life in California?”
“Yeah? He wrote in letters all the time.” Dustin said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
Mike pursed his lips. Will and him didn’t really exchange that many letters in California. They had a whole fight about it. There weren’t many calls, either. And anytime they did speak, it wasn’t about Will’s new life- just D&D, and mostly school.
It was selfish, Mike knew it then. He didn’t really want to hear about Will’s new life without him. He didn’t want to hear about his new friends, new school, new anything. Will said he wouldn’t join another party, but what if he did? What if he didn’t miss Mike as much as Mike missed him? The letters didn’t come in as fast as El’s did. The few phone calls always ended up just talking to El- he had to sometimes hijack Dustin or Lucas’s calls to even talk to Will.
Mike slumped into his shoulders, hiding. He could see why Will didn’t talk to him about this. The thought of Will going to fucking Robin before Mike- Mike bite the inside of his cheek. He was being selfish again.
“Anyway, so I think it’s safe to assume it’s.. one of us.” Dustin looked between Lucas and Mike. Before Mike could even think-
“It’s probably me, right?” Lucas smirked. Mike raised his eyebrows, Dustin copying his expression.
Mike scoffed. “What? Why would you think that?”
“Because I've never been an asshole to him, and he probably thought I “wasn’t like him” because I had Max.”
Dustin threw his arms out. “Why couldn’t it be me? That summer before he left I was the only one who wasn’t ignoring him. Even before I went to summer camp, it was just used while we listened to you talk about El and Max.”
Mike scoffed again. He was the obvious choice. “I’m his best friend, why couldn’t it be me?”
Dustin and Lucas stopped arguing and looked at him. They glanced at each other, then back to Mike. They started laughing.
Fucking laughing.
“What the hell guys?”
Dustin gave his final laugh, but still very amused at Mike’s apparent cluelessness. “Did you not just hear what I said about ignoring him and just paying attention to El for an entire summer? And if he did have a crush on you, don’t you think he’d tell you all about California?”
Mike opened his mouth to speak but closed it. Dustin wasn’t lying, or even exaggerating.
“But you just said Lucas was ignoring Will for Max!”
“I never ignored him for Max.” Lucas pointed up his finger for the correction. “I was definitely a dick during that summer but I was just dragged into your and El’s relationship drama. I actually apologized to him though. Besides, Will was always included when we hung out. You were the one ditching everyone for El.”
Dustin just nodded along. “Me and Will both got sidelined by you guys. Lucas at least had a personality outside his girlfriend.”
“Whatever, I knew Will before you guys ever did.” Mike rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. That felt like enough reason for him to win this fight. Although, if there was a score board Mike would have clearly lost. Knowing Will first wouldn’t have even given him any points
“We should get going anyway. We have to save the world, you know?” Mike walked between Lucas and Dustin, brushing both their shoulders with a little force. It was definitely petty, but so were they.
Him and El even broke up anyway. As soon as they got back to Hawkins 18 months ago, El was all too quick to break up with him. It was a little humiliating after the whole saying I love you for the first time in a pizza parlor with her now brothers and Argyle listening, after the whole El needs you Mike, and she always Will speech Will had given him the day before.
Mike couldn’t say he was surprised. He was actually more surprised at how he wasn’t surprised. Overall, he didn’t feel much towards it. Maybe it was just the timing. With El having just lost her battle against Vecna, Will saying he still feels a connection to him- and the whole town splitting to four to top it off, a relationship probably wasn’t the most important thing to be focusing on.
That didn’t erase all their relationship of course. Especially in the eyes of the friends. They didn’t even put any effort into telling anyone they broke up. So for now, Mike would just hold onto that then rub it in their faces after this whole Vecna thing was done. Why exactly he wanted to do that and prove he could be just a good potential crush, maybe even a better option, of Will Byers- well he was busy trying to figure out which one of the three “Tammy” was to figure that out.
In the meantime, he would do just that. Right after he killed the man who had been tormenting them the last four years.
*
*
It had been two weeks since the battle with the Mind Flayer. Will was finally free of the hivemind, El was free of Henry, and Hawkins was saved. Everyone was moving on as best they could.
Mike was not moving on.
It wasn’t the battle that kept him awake at night, or the fear of the Upside Down maybe coming back and it wasn’t truly over.
He’s just my Tammy.
Who is Tammy?
Mike stared up at his ceiling. He was going through a mental list of all the qualities Will Byers might find attractive in each of the three. There was another for everything Will would not find attractive at all.
Dustin shared Will’s interest in engineering and science. Will mentioned to Mike once about liking curls. Dustin had plenty of them.
Lucas was strong. Will could like strong, but Will was never into athletics. Lucas always looked after Will too. He was even willing to break into a government lab to find a portal to an alternate dimension alone to find him.
Mike was too. He was just smarter about it and got the girl with superpowers to help.
He rolled over in his bed and stared at the wall next to him. There was the painting Will had made him a year and a half ago. He said it was from El technically but he was still the one who painted it. Did El even know their D&D characters? Did he ever talk to her about the painting before they broke up?
Mike closed his eyes and sighed. He was getting off track. Maybe it would be better to just ask Will. Mike was just being selfish again. Asking Will who he likes just to satisfy Mike’s curiosity.
Something flashed through his mind.
Will is painting a lot. I think there is someone he likes. I think it is for a girl.
Mike opened his eyes again and was met with the painting. He shot up in his bed, moving to sit on the edge. He didn’t move his eyes from the painting.
Mike remembers El’s letter clearly. Not so much the rest of it, but the specific part about Will liking someone. After Mike read that there was a feeling he couldn’t describe. It felt like something in him became empty, like his heart dropped and since there was nothing filling the space he couldn’t breath right. Will never mentioned girls or even showed interest before. As soon as Mike wasn’t there Will started to like a girl?
Obviously Mike knows now there wasn’t a girl. Dustin said there weren't any guys, either. Will could be lying and covering up having a crush on a guy, but Will never lies. Maybe Will liked a guy but didn’t really know him enough to talk about him, but then how could Will ever have a crush on someone he didn’t know? He was never superficial.
Could Mike even say that? He never knew Will ever liked anyone. He never really imagined Will with anyone.
For the first time in a while, Mike Wheeler was connecting thoughts together instead of just keeping them separated in his mind.
He won’t show me what he’s working on.
Will was painting for someone he liked, and wouldn’t show El. Will made a painting for Mike because El asked. But El didn’t know what Will was painting.
Mike put his head in his hands. All his thoughts got jumbled together once again. Conflicting pieces of the puzzle and things not fitting perfectly together. He needed help sorting this out.
Mike lowered his hands and clenched his fists. He looked at his door and stood up from his bed. The only person who could help him out was still living in his basement.
Mike slowly walked down the stairs trying not to make any sound. Nancy’s door was cracked open and he could see Jonathan lying in her bed sleeping. That meant Will was alone downstairs.
He took a deep breath reaching the end of the stairs and heading to the basement.
Mike stared down the stairs. There was a small light coming from the basement. Will was awake. That’s good, now there is no reason for Mike to turn back. It’s not like he was mad or anything. It was just a question.
“Will?” Mike whispered, waking down the stairs.
He saw Will at the table where they play D&D drawing. He had headphones on connected to the walkman on the table. Mike took another deep breath before reach out to Will’s shoulder.
Will jumped beneath him and Mike immediately pulled away. He took of his headphones and turned around.
“Mike, oh my god. Sorry, I was just-“ Will glances down to the paper he’s scribbling on with Holly’s old crayons. It was of the party as their D&D characters, fighting the Mind Flayer. “I couldn’t sleep so I just started dreaming.”
Mike stared at the drawing. If this conversation goes well, he'll hang it up downstairs immediately.
“Yeah, yeah. It’s really good. I couldn’t sleep either, sorry for bothering you.” Mike glances at the floor. “I actually wanted to talk to you?”
Will nods and stands up facing Mike. “Yeah, of course. What’s up?”
Mike racks his brain on how to start. His thoughts are becoming more tightly entangled. “So me and El broke up.”
Not a good way to start.
“Oh..” Will’s face deflates. “Mike, I’m so sorry-“
Mike waved his sympathy away. “It’s fine. It was when we came from California.”
“Oh.” Will purses his lips. “Wow, I had no idea.” His expression is unreadable. Mike isn’t sure Will knows how he’s supposed to react. Mike isn’t sure how he wants Will to react.
“We just didn’t tell anyone. It didn't seem like the time to announce it.”
Will just nodded along. “Right, of course. But, why tell me now?” He asked, no malice in his voice, just concern. God, how could someone not like him? “Are you thinking about her?”
“No, no! Not at all.” Mike felt the need to defend himself. He glanced at the floor, this time he was really going to say something stupid.
“I was thinking about you, actually.”
“Oh.”
“Remember when you came out?”
Will laughed. “Yeah, Mike. I remember.”
Mike shook his head. Stupid. “Of course you do. Sorry, that was dumb to ask.” Will laughed again, muttering “it’s okay.”
“You said something, and I’m just curious I guess?” Mike tilted his head and watched Will raise his eye brow. He was confused and probably worried Mike was having a stroke or something.
“You said you liked a guy, but he was just your Tammy?”
Will just watched with a curious stare. Unfortunately for Mike ever so kind Will doesn’t interrupt him and continues to let him make himself look like an idiot.
Payback for not sending those letters, Mike figures.
“We just- We’re curious, you know? And it’s totally none of our business, right, but as you’re best friends we want to be there for you. We want to know about everything. That means crushes.” Mike pauses, forcing out the next words. Why he feels that same dread he feels when he read Will liked someone, that’s a thought for another day.
“Boyfriends, first kisses, everything.” Mike purses his lips and stares at Will. He’s rambling, and he doesn’t know if he makes sense and based of the look on Will’s face he doesn’t, but he just has to say this.
It’s silent for a moment and Mike can feel himself overheating.
“Who’s we?”
“Dustin and Lucas. And me.” Another pause. Will looks disappointed. Mike wants to run away. “Well, they didn’t really say the second part.”
Will goes back to being confused. “What?”
“Dustin and Lucas they didn’t say the second part, about wanting know about your first kiss and stuff. They just kept arguing about which one of them you had a crush on.”
Will’s eyes widen, his face becomes red. “Which one of them what?! Mike, what is going on?”
“Well, you never mentioned any guys of friends from California and we’re your only friends here so.” Mike crossed his arms. He was getting very off track of his original point.
“Oh my god.” Will put his hands up covering his face. He paced back to the chair he was sitting in and put his elbows on the table. He was mortified. “Oh my god.”
“Will, fuck, sorry.” Mike went to the chair next to his and sat down. He put his hand on Will’s shoulder grabbing it on instinct. “This isn’t what I wanted to talk to you about.”
Will pulled his hands back from his face, just enough for his eyes to appear. “…What does this have to do with El?”
Mike swallowed. His throat became dry again just like when Will first came out.
“The painting you gave me.” Will’s hand retracted a little more. His eyes widened. “El- she wrote me a letter before I left. She said you were painting a lot, and she said she thought you liked a girl? Also that you wouldn’t let her see what you were painting.”
Will was staring at Mike. There was a slight crease in his forehead. All Mike could see were his eyes but it was enough to give away how scared he was. It reminded him too much of his eyes after Mike just told him the thing that’s been haunting him the last two weeks.
It’s not my fault you don’t like girls.
Mike couldn’t help but look down at the table. He landed on the drawing. He never wanted to make Will feel like that again. He wanted to get this over with quickly, even if it ended in a fight. He just didn’t want to hurt Will.
“You never told Dustin about anyone in California, then El said talked about you not know what you were painting, you gave me a painting, but said it was from El.” A pause. Mike looked up to meet Will’s eyes.
“Those words in the van you said was how she felt. But then she broke up with me when we got back to Hawkins, so I dont know if she really felt that way.”
The two stared at each other other, not speaking for a moment. Will moved his hands under the table and stared down. Mike could tell he was fidgeting with his hands. He was quiet, if Mike wasn’t right next to him Mike would of missed him speak. “Mike, what are you trying to say?”
“I don’t know, Will.” Mike moved his hands under the table, putting his hand over Will’s fidgeting one. Just like how he should of done two weeks ago, like how he wished he had done two weeks ago.
Will’s hands froze. He just stared down at Mike’s hand laying ontop of his. He slumped his shoulders down, and closed his eyes. He looked defeated.
“What do you think?”
“That I don’t want it to be just some crush.”
Mike grabbed Will’s hand tighter. Will opened his eyes and looked up at him.
For once, Mike was glad he spoke faster then he thought. It all clicked for him. Suddenly, every single thought he’d had about Will for, probably since he met him, made sense. The puzzle pieces fell into place perfectly.
Mike pursed his lips looking at Will. His nerves from earlier disappeared. He’s never been more confident in his life, the closest he’s ever been was when he was with Will. But with the added understanding of just how much Will means, Mike feels like nothing can hurt him as long as Will Byers is next to him.
“Wait, wait.” Will shook his head, backing out of his chair and standing up. Mike’s hand fell onto the chair after Will pulled away, and his hand has never felt colder.
“What is happening here? I don’t- Mike, do you even know what you’re saying?” He laughed, but it didn’t sound like it was because he was happy. Was the punchline of the joke Mike feeling the same way? Mike couldn’t help but frown. “Do you know what I’m saying?”
Mike stood up from the chair. He may of been confident, but he was still awkward when it came to his feelings. “El… never commissioned that painting.”
Will froze. His eyes were wide and mouth sealed shut, like he had just been caught committing a murder.
“It’s okay.” Mike shrugged, speaking softly in the voice that he does for Will. He glanced down to the ground, stepping closer to Will.
Will didn’t move.
“When you first have me the painting, I was so happy because I thought it was from you. When she first told me you liked someone, I felt so.. bad, honesty. Then when you brought the painting to the airport, I just got mad, you know? Like you had this painting for someone you liked but you were waiting to see me.”
Will laughed again. It was the nervous laugh like just before. He just shook his head and kept his gaze to the wall. “You don’t know what you’re saying, Mike.”
This was a back and fourth. No matter what Mike said, Will would just push back. He never did believe in anything good.
Mike chewed the inside of his cheek. Everything fit together nicely, everything finally clicked. But this was just a nice image in his head, the reality is much more difficult to put togther.
“You’re right. I probably don’t know what I’m saying.” Mike sighed, wiping his hands on his pajama pants. He was never good with talking about his feelings but Will always understood him regardless. This time, it wasn’t enough for Mike to just ramble- Will refused to accept his rambling this time. Mike had to make Will finally understand what he had been thinking about for the past two weeks, but words alone weren’t getting through.
“Will.”
Will turned his head and suddenly Mike rushed in.
Mike was kissing Will.
Mike was kissing Will.
It was stupid and impulsive and he definitely was going to apologize but in the moment it felt right- it felt like the final piece he was missing.
Mike cupped Will’s face with one hand, his fingertips brushing the side of his hair. His other hand dangled at his side awkwardly but it didn’t matter because his lips were kissing Will’s lips and oh my god kissing El never felt like this.
It was just for a moment when Mike suddenly pulled away, his rational thoughts finally catching up. He immediately panicked, seeing Will staring at Mike’s lips dazed.
“Will?!” Mike carrassed Will’s face, moving his thumb across his cheekbone. “Are you okay? Fuck, sorry. I just, I couldn’t find the words and-“
Mike’s words were cut short from Will pulling his dangling arm around his waist and his hand on his neck pushing his face to meet his. Mike saw Will standing up on his toes just to meet him before closing his eyes and kissing back.
Will moved his hand down to Mike’s chest. Mike stomach flipped and his heart dropped. He was struggling to breath but the feeling of Will so close to him like this was worth not breathing.
Mike lost track of time. He had a million thoughts going on in his head, but there wasn’t any time for thinking when all he wanted to do was feel Will. His lips, his hair, his hands. So naturally he ignored his thoughts once again. He did enough thinking for tonight, he’d let himself enjoy his reward.
Reward was over too soon as Will pulled away. Mikes rational thoughts came back and he took a breath. After all, if he suffocated now he wouldn’t be able to ever kiss Will again.
Mike looked at Will who lowered himself down to stand normally. His mouth was parted open and glossy from the kiss. Mike thought his split makes for great lip gloss apparently. Will’s hand dropped from his waist slowly but still held onto Mike. He didn’t move his hand from Mike’s chest, and Mike had no complaints.
Will’s eye’s met Mike’s. Will’s face was red all over, especially in his cheeks. Mike could feel the heat on his palm. It must of been transferable because he could feel the heat spreading throughout his body.
“Do you think that it’s just some crush now?”
Mike bit down on the inside of his cheek. He was just staring at Will and thinking of fact that he was able to see what Will would look like after a kiss- the red cheeks, glossy lips from Mike, the fact he was able to feel Will this close to him like this- if he kept staring Mike knew he probably wouldn’t be able to answer Will.
He ducked his forhead down onto Will’s shoulder, dropping his hand to dangle again and tightening his hold on Will’s hand.
“God, I hope it’s not.”
Will laughed. Mike wanted nothing more then to keep his head between Will’s shoulder and neck where he could feel Will’s shoulders move a bit from his laugh.
“I don’t think it’s ever been just a “crush”, Mike.”
Mike raised his head. He looked at Will curiously. Will found this amusing apparently. “Since when..?”
Will glanced to the side then down to them holding hands. His amusement faded into a more serious and slightly sad expression.
Will turned their hands around, inspecting them almost like everything happening was real.
“Probably since the swing set.”
Oh.
Mike felt his face heat up more. If you told him before tonight that Will would have the ability to make him this caught off gaurd, he wouldn’t believe you.
Will glanced up from their hands. Will was now the one fiddling and playing with their fingers. “I’m sorry-“
“Sorry? I kiss you, corner you into confessing to me, completely miss you liking me, and you’re sorry?” Mike stepped back a bit, sighing. He didn’t break their hand hold. “Jesus, Will. I should be on my knees begging for forgiveness, not you.”
Will stepped forward creating the gap Mike made. He frowned. “I did lie about how I felt for years and made it seem like El felt a certain way-“
Mike couldn’t take it anymore. Will just started to understand Mike’s feelings, but now he went back to being selfishly selfless. Mike put his hand right back on Will’s face and pressed his lips back on to Will’s again. It was a quick kiss this time, Mike understood they still needed to talk- but he was also starting to understand that a kiss was a great way to get Will to be selfish.
Will pushed into Mike more and put his hand to grab Mike’s arm. Will gave a small squeeze around Mike’s biceps and Mike had to go against every instinct in him to go any further.
Mike pulled back, just far enough to see Will’s face but not enough Will had to let go of his arm.
“Don’t apologize for anything, Will. I’ve been an asshole, not you.”
“If I apologize again, will you just kiss me?”
“Until you realize you’ve done nothing wrong ever.”
Will paused. He tried to hide his smile by biting his lip and looking down but he couldn’t hide how happy he was too hear that. Mike felt calmer seeing Will smile. He would never make Will not smile again.
“Then I’m sorry.. so I guess you should tell me one more time..?”
“As many times as it takes.”