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DISCLAIMER!
This is a work of fiction created for entertainment purposes only. I do not own or have any affiliation with the individuals mentioned. The portrayal of characters is purely fictional and does not reflect real-life events, personalities, or relationships.
Something was wrong with Soul, Jongseob thought. But it wasn't only him thinking that. Everyone noticed that shota wasn't his usual self, normally he would be jumping around the whole shared dorm, rambling about pokemons, minecraft etc. But now he doesnt even get out of his room. Jongseob has tried to think of a way to cheer him up or tried to think of what could have upset him so bad but his mind was blank. Even when Jiung wanted to open Minecraft blind boxes with soul he wasnt excited about it anymore like he usually would be.
10am Friday
Seob woke up, his eyes still groggy from sleep and his throat dry. They didn't really have anything to do today, no filming, no dance or singing practice. Just chill. But jongseob couldn't stop thinking about Soul even in the morning, so later today he decided he will try to do something about it. Everyone spent the day just chilling.
11pm
Keeho was watching some science-fiction movie with all of the others except for Jongseob and Soul. Shota said he wasnt in the mood and Seob has tried to practice something on the new bass he got but his fingers started hurting after just a few minutes of practice, so he stopped. He scrolled throught some reels but got bored of thwm quickly. Suddenly he remembered he wanted to cheer Soul up somehow. Well the thing was Seob still hasn't figured out a way how to do it, but he quietly went to Shotas room and closed the door behind him anyways. Shota was laying on his bed, blanket wrapped around him phone in his hand but he wasnt really watching whatever was on his phone, he was just staring at whatever that was out the window. Seob sat at the edge of souls bed, concerned and looking at him.
"soul?" he softly spoke up but the only reply he got was a soft hum coming out of shotas mouth. He couldnt even see his face beacuse Shotas back was facing seob.
"Whats wrong? You know you can talk to me right?" Jongseob tried to be patient with Soul but the concern was eating him up, so he tugged soul for him to lay atleast on his back. "hey look at me"
but Shotas eyes just drifted away onto anything but Jongseob. Soul always had a hard time speaking up about his feelings, he wasnt really the communicative kind of person. He was more the "bootle my feelings up" type of person who would always push himself harder than he needed to.
"did I upset you?" Seob asked but Soul just shook his head and said "loud"
"I'm loud?" Seob asked him really confused now but shota just shook his head again "not you" he mumbled. Jongseob frowned, confusion flickering across his face before it softened into concern. “Then what?”
For a moment, Shota didn’t answer. His grip on the blanket tightened, knuckles faintly paling under the dim light of the room. His eyes stayed unfocused, somewhere far away from the walls around them. “head" he said quietly. “loud”
Jongseob understanded what shota could have meant by that. Begin an idol isnt easy, the constant pressure, hate, the work you have to put into it. He didn't reply he just waited until soul will continue his words.
Shota hesitated then spoke up again.
“it doesn't stop” he continued words slow like he had to pull each one out. “Even when it’s quiet, it’s not quiet.”
“How long?” Seob asked softly.
Shota didn’t answer right away. His fingers curled tighter into the blanket again.
“dunno” he spoke up his voice cracked a little “a while.”
That made it worse.
Jongseob shifted closer without thinking his shoulder lightly brushing against Shota’s arm. “Why didn’t you tell anyone?” he asked his voice quieter now.
Shota let out a small breath. “I thought it would go away” he said. “If I just ignored it.” he paused “But it didn’t.”
Jongseob looked at him, really looked at him this time. The tired eyes, the way he avoided eye contact how small and vulnerable he seemed curled up like that.
“Hey,” he said gently.
Shota didn’t look at him once again, but he was listening. That was something.
“You don’t have to deal with it alone.”
Souls grip on the blanket loosened just a little. “I don’t even know how to explain it” he admitted quietly. “It’s just too much sometimes.”
“That’s okay,” Jongseob replied. “You don’t have to explain everything.” Another pause.
Then, slowly, carefully, Jongseob reached out and rested his hand over the edge of the blanket close enough that Shota could pull away if he wanted. But he didn’t. So Jongseob left it there. “I can just stay,” he added. “If that helps.”
Shota was quiet for a long moment. Then he gave a small nod.
Jongseob let out a quiet breath and leaned back slightly, staying right there beside him to keep him some company.
Suddenly Soul lifted up the covers and put them over Jongseob too. "hug" he said softly and wrapped his hands around seob.
Jongseob was surprised, but put his arm around Shota and pulled him into a tight hug. After some time of staying like that he could hear Souls his breath slowing down until he was asleep.
Seob stayed still careful not to wake him. And the first time in a while Soul looked peaceful.