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I laid against his warm chest. His breathing was slow steady. Occasionally his breath would hitch, a sign of just one of his injuries. What was he thinking?
I would not be able to live if he died.
He doesn’t know that.
Maybe you should tell him. Whispered a voice in my mind.
Maybe.
I don’t know.
I moved my head so I could hear his heartbeat while looking at him.
His heartbeat was calm and soothing to listen to.
My eyes flickered to study his still appearance. He looked sad in his sleep. Not the usual amusement I see marked on his face whenever he sees me. His gleaming sandy eyes were hidden under his closed lids.
Without much thought, my hands moved as instinct to clear his forehead of his maple hair. My fingers brushes against his forehead scar. It was white, and indicater of it being a couple years old.
I cupped his face as I watched him.
“Please be ok. I need you to be ok.” I pleaded softly.
He had to be ok.
“Remus, I- I love you. So please.” I traced his jaw
“Please be ok.”
His eyes fluttered open and his brown eyes squinted to adjust to the light.
I lifted my head and I stared at him in shock.
He stared back.
Had he heard all of that? Heat rose to my face.
“Are you ok?” I whispered. “I can go get the nurse.” I stood up and removed my hand from his face, but his hand reached out to cover mine. He was keeping me there.
In that position.
“I’m ok.” his hoarse voice whispered.
“Stay.” He brought my palm to his lips and kissed it. “Please.”
I didn’t move.
I couldn’t.
My throat felt tight.
“You could’ve gotten really hurt.” I choked out.
“I know.” He whispered, a sad look in his eyes stared back at me. I stepped closer
“You could’ve died.” I told him as I tried not to cry.
“I know.” He whispered again.
“I thought- I-” I felt a tear fall down my heated cheek. He pulled me closer.
“I really thought you were gone.” I sobbed and he tentatively embraced me, rubbing my back to soothe me.
“Sirius, I know.” He whispered into my charcoal hair as he gripped my neck softly. His touch was warm in contrast to my cold body.
“I’m sorry.” He whispered back. I pulled back to look at him. His brown eyes were now water with tears. I rubbed my own teary eyes and wiped my nose.
“No, I’m sorry-“ I said at the same time he said,
“I love you too.”
We stared at each other. The silence was suffocating and neither of us knew what to do.
I stared at him, he stared back at me, but he was no longer sad. He seemed, hopeful? Excited? I couldn’t quite place the emotion there.
Maybe he really does like you.
Maybe.
I looked at his lips. The top one had a small cut and was painted with small scars from years past.
I leaned in towards him.
He smelled nice.
Like chocolate and pine.
As softly as I could, I leaned in closer and closed my eyes. I closed the distance and kissed him.
He made a soft grunt and kissed me back. One of his hands came to my hair and the other cupped my face.
He kissed me harder like a starved man.