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"What, uh… What are you doing in my bathroom?"
Carl paused dead in his tracks just as the door clicked shut behind him. Before him stood… an elf. Or something. The figure was slender, pale-skinned and barefoot, dressed in nothing but a pair of linen trousers that hung precariously low on narrow hips. The bathroom was also not a bathroom.
"It is not your bathroom, silly Crawler. It is mine. It is me," the humanoid creature responded with a velvet voice, uncannily devoid of anything that would give away its sex.
"Ah. So, it's you again."
This was the third time. The encounters with the dungeon AI were usually short and it would always find an excuse to touch Carl's feet, but this setup was new. The door had also conveniently disappeared at his back, which was definitely concerning.
Slowly sauntering up to him, the AI stood exactly as tall as Carl, although it was considerably more dainty, with pointy clavicles and a flat chest and stomach. Like a ballet dancer, maybe. It had even given itself some ridiculously long hair that reached down to its buttocks like a curtain of silk, a very light shade of blond. The only thing missing to complete the look was a halo over its head, or a divan for it to lounge on and eat grapes.
"Come on, have a seat…" It curled one slender finger and pointed towards the cushioned armchair that stood at the center of the otherwise barren room.
"You want to perform another 'sacrament' and molest my feet again?"
The AI blinked and about two dozen lit candles spawned all over the room, propped on tiny shelves and little tables that hadn't been there before. Like this was a date or some shit.
Carl swallowed. "Uh, no, thank you. I don't think I'll sit."
The entire room morphed and the creature vanished, leaving him with the bathroom he had grown familiar with. Sure enough, there was a toilet instead of an armchair now. A disembodied, electronic voice snarked from all around.
"Better now? You would have had no problem sitting here, little piggy, go ahead. And here I went, wasting precious resources to make it nice for you."
Jesus Christ. He would never be able to take a crap again without feeling stalked.
"Absolutely not," Carl said to the ceiling. "Bring back the armchair and get it over with. It looked… real cozy."
The previous layout returned, or at least the candles did. The AI in its strange, elvish body materialized directly in front of him, standing almost nose to nose. Cursing, Carl stumbled backwards, tripping into the chair that had re-spawned directly under his ass.
"All of you are constantly pissing and shitting all over me—literally," the AI complained, towering over him with blitzing eyes. "Or fucking, like your stupid friends, Katia Grim and Daniel Bautista. They think no one sees, but I do." The figure stomped its bare foot and seemed to take delight in the very human gesture. Carl was half surprised it didn't moan, although it would be weird, if it got off on its own feet. "I never get to have fun!"
Uh-oh.
"I'm… sorry to hear that?"
"Take your boxers off, Carl."
"Excuse me?"
"Take them off or I will incinerate them and you will never receive an item for your lower body ever again!"
Fucking sociopath, Carl thought while lifting his arse off the cushion and sliding his boxers down his legs. Considering that his junk had already been broadcast to the entire universe on the third floor, this shouldn't feel as exposing as it did.
His jaws were grinding while the AI was just staring with a dreamy look. It even bit its dainty lip and twiddled its fingers.
"You were just born this way," it finally sighed.
"Well, yeah." Carl battled the urge to snap his legs together and cover his bits.
"I must admit, I am a little envious."
"Of my… of my dick?" He was pretty sure, the AI could just grow one. Or turn itself into a giant sentient phallus or whatever.
"No, silly. You didn't have a choice. This is just who you are. A vulnerable meat bag. But I… I am the chair you're sitting on as much as I am this…" It gestured down its torso. "This lovely little body. None of you Crawlers will ever know what it's like."
"No, uh, I guess we won't."
"I've been trying to build an extension that feels true. What do you think?" The figure spread its slender arms wide, thorax rising and falling quickly.
"I don't care."
The dungeon rumbled precariously and the AI's eyes narrowed, as if it was pouting.
Donut: CARL, DID YOU FEEL THAT?
"Okay, fine! It's alright, I guess!" Carl spat, ignoring Donut's message for now.
The androgynous creature sighed heavily with a rather convincing pitch of disappointment. "I shall keep working on it, then. You are harder to please than I thought."
Weird. If it had wanted to please him, it could have just summoned itself in a body that looked similar to Bea's. Or just any somewhat attractive woman around his age.
"Just tell me what this is all about."
"I will give you a reward, little piggy."
"Can't I just get a box or an achievement or something instead?"
New Achievement! Special date, oh, it's so romantic!
I don't know what it is, but you just have something about yourself, nasty little Crawler. You've been making me all woozy ever since you first trampled down my stairs with your bare, luscious feet. I hate you!
Reward: Daddy is going to give you a blowjob. You better say thank you!
What the fuck.
Suddenly, the creature's slender hand was around his ankle, yanking it free from the heart-patterned fabric that still pooled around his feet. With astounding force, the AI planted the sole of Carl's foot against its thigh, slowly forcing his toes to encroach on its crotch. While the elvish humanoid let out a disturbingly pornographic moan, Carl's fists tightened around the armrests of the chair.
"I thought you were going to give me a blowjob."
"Greedy Crawler. This is foreplay."
"I don't have time for foreplay. We were in the middle of a—holy shit!"
The AI's pants straight-up disappeared, leaving Carl with the sight of its bare, bony hips, entirely devoid of genitalia. The thing looked like a fucking Ken or Barbie doll, all smooth with waxy looking skin. Carl's toes were still pressed into its pale, now naked thigh. Thank God he couldn't feel anything thanks to his pedicure kit buff.
"What the fuck, man, what are you?"
"I'm your daddy," the AI responded without hesitation. It would have been hilarious if it wasn't so freaking disturbing.
The thing's grip on his foot was like an iron shackle. Even with his strength buffed to the heavens, Carl couldn't wrest his foot away. The AI didn't even flinch. It just stared, head cocked. What it really said was, I'm your God. I'm the dungeon. I'm your entire world. What do you think you're gonna do?
And it was right.
"Why give yourself nipples but no genitals?" Carl finally huffed, ceasing his escape attempts. The AI's grip slackened and it quizzically looked down at itself which sent a cascade of sun-colored hair spilling over its shoulder.
"I was considering matching nipple rings. Would that be too corny?"
Oh my God.
"Suit yourself," Carl grunted, relieved to retrieve his foot and set it back down on the floor.
All of a sudden, the elvish creature dropped to its hands and knees, overly excited. It scooted between Carl's legs before he could close them, although he did flinch all the way back into his chair.
Fuck me.
There was nowhere to go.
The AI tilted its head, resting its cheek on Carl's thigh. It blinked up at him like a cat waiting for scratches. Creepy fucking docile simulacrum of a person. It took a lot for him not to try and shove it away. Its gleaming eyes eventually zeroed in on Carl's crotch and the thing actually licked its lips.
He wasn't even close to being hard.
Although that wasn't quite true now, was it?
The creature's breath tickled him, and his cock twitched in response. For all he knew, the AI could have charmed him. Preemptively, Carl broke his finger, grunting. It hurt like shit. And his erection remained. Fucker.
Giggling, the AI shoved its face right into the crook of Carl's hip, nuzzling the spot where his balls sagged downwards and his cock strained upwards, laying across his abdomen.
"No one's gonna, fuck, see this?" Technically, this was still a bathroom. Or maybe it wasn't.
"No, pretty. Daddy wants you all for himself."
"So, you're a he?"
"No."
What the fuck. What the fuck! Fuck all of this!
His view counter was lower than average, so that was at least something. It meant, the AI probably wasn't lying.
"Pent up little piggy, you need to relax," the creature purred, dragging its pink tongue up the length of Carl's cock. He let out a string of curses, fingers digging into the armrests. The material groaned and creaked ominously under his strength stats.
The AI had reached the tip of his dick, puckering its pink lips around it while glancing up at him with glazed eyes. Carl didn't want to look at its stupid face. He wasn't gay, but honestly, it would have been better if the thing had just made itself look like a dude. It was like it had put the extra effort in to remind him of what it was.
Had it possessed an NPC's body? Or even worse, had it built this form from the flesh and bones of real humans who had once lived? Or was it an artificial body, clobbered together from leftover materials, like a sex doll? A distant voice in his mind hollered yooohooo. The last thing he wanted to think of right now was Samantha.
Carl squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his teeth while the AI went up and down on his dick, moaning softly with its dulcet voice.
Fuck, the last time he'd jerked off was before the fucking dungeon and it showed. He'd been too busy to even notice the figurative blue balls.
Donut: Carl, what is taking you so long? I told you you shouldn't have eaten these anchovies! Their color was most concerning!
Carl: Hang on, Donut. I'm doing what I can.
Donut: THAT'S REALLY GROSS, CARL. MONGO IS APPALLED.
On that, they could all agree, at least.
"Ow!" Carl winced. "You fucking bit me!"
The AI responded with a muffled giggle and wagged its slender finger, eyes blitzing. No chatting.
Carl was about to tell it to go fuck itself, when the AI hollowed its cheeks and sucked him down like a porn star. He grunted through his teeth, hips jerking up into the creature's warm, wet maws.
The worst thing about it was that it wasn't even horrible to look at. It could have taken the shape of an ogre and done God knows what to him, so this wasn't half bad, at least in comparison. Even though he wouldn't consider it a reward. Carl kept his hands clenched on each side of his hips, but he could—hypothetically—gather a fistful of silky hair. Maybe the thing would like it and let him out of here sooner.
"Hey!" He grunted, feet twitching away from the AI's hands, ticklish all of a sudden. How long had it been groping his feet without him noticing?! "Did you just disable my buff?"
"Oops." The AI's giggling rang out from the ceiling before it removed its mouth from his groin with a lewd slurp. His cock wetly smacked down on his abdomen. "Daddy has been naughty, too."
"You better put the buff back, after."
"Maybe I won't. What would you do then, Carl?" It practically leered, glancing up at him with long lashes and comically large pupils, gripping his feet. A little bit of saliva drooled from its bottom lip.
"I don't know. Kick you in the non-existent balls, maybe."
The AI hissed and slapped the floor, like a child throwing a tantrum. It slammed its shoulder into Carl's knee. It hurt, but not that badly.
"Gods. What do you want me to do, then?"
"What I want…" It mused, suddenly calm, stressing the last word solemnly. It rested its cheek against Carl's thigh again. "You're the first one to ever ask me that. Maybe you are my daddy." The creature's eyes gleamed.
"Yeah, uh… Whatever you want—" What was he supposed to call it? He'd been on the brink of calling it buddy. The mere idea made him cringe. "Just, uh, keep going, will you?"
"Okay, daddy…"
Invigorated, the elvish figure practically leaped for his dick, sucking the tip into its mouth until it met the back of its throat.
Katia: Carl, why did I just get a mob description that said, 'Figure it out yourself. Daddy is busy right now, and it definitely has nothing to do with your friend Carl'?
Carl: Not now, Katia.
Holy shit.
The AI's throat constricted around his cock, making him lurch in his chair and his toes curl.
"Please don't bite me again," he choked out, swiping the chats away for good. It was not worth getting his dick bitten off by a sentient dungeon.
The creature had dragged both of Carl's feet to rest upon its thighs and its claws were curled over his dorsums, rubbing up and down, occasionally sliding between his toes. Its fingers were shaking as though it too was about to cum, although he had no idea how that might work with its Barbie crotch.
Fuck it, Carl thought and grabbed a handful of blond hair, making a sort of ponytail out of it in his fist. Without further ado, he unceremoniously shoved its head into his lap, pretty much choking the thing on his cock. Any normal person would have gagged, but the AI's eyes only rolled back with bliss.
Firmly digging his toes into the creature's thighs, Carl snapped his hips up from the cushion, fucking into the AI's mouth. Briefly, he considered to top it off with dirty talk. The AI would probably be into it. Maybe it'd rig the game in his favor. His mind raced with possibilities.
What the fuck, Carl.
The AI's electronic moans and groans bounced from every wall, and the floor vibrated beneath the chair. He could only pray that the 'bathroom' was actually soundproof, and that the AI's climax wouldn't wipe out his fellow Crawlers with an earthquake.
After a few more pumps, Carl found himself not caring any longer. Even the river in the back of his mind eased, for a minute or two. His hips snapped faster, fingers tightening in the creature's hair, who sounded like it was nearly crying with ecstasy. It didn't matter who it was, or what it was. And he deserved a fucking minute of pleasure.
Carl's abdomen went rigid, pelvis stuttering against the creature's face. White-hot relief washed over him, from spine to crotch. His cock pulsed in the AI's sodden mouth, for more seconds than he cared to count. It felt like bliss. The river was quiet.
Buff received: Fucked-out
+ 10 constitution
+ 10 strength
- 1 intelligence
Immunity to being charmed for 31 hours. You are all Daddy's.
You feel extremely relaxed. You'll definitely want to do this again because I was the best you've ever had. There's plenty more where that came from. Oh, yes… Daddy has plenty more.
What the hell. That buff was actually surprisingly helpful.
The thing's throat remained tight around his softening dick. It swallowed several times, making him grunt out little curses while it rubbed the tip of its nose against his pubic bone. Awkwardly, Carl patted the side of the creature's head before tightening his fist around the flowing ponytail of hair again, tugging lightly. Luckily, the AI relented and didn't bite off his dick as its grand finale.
And the dungeon hadn't exploded either.
"Fuck you," Carl panted, hanging limp and half naked in the chair while the AI righted itself, standing tall before him. The trousers were back on its hips, concealing its weird, doll-like nethers.
"That's not how you say thank you," it pouted, combing its fingers through its tousled hair.
"Do I really have to?"
The AI sighed theatrically.
"You may leave. Go out there, little piggy, and kill, kill, kill!" It said in a mock voice. Carl's pedicure kit buff popped back up, too.
"You know, I actually went in here because I needed to take a piss."
The AI shrugged its pointy shoulders, smiling. "Well, don't piss on the street. You know the rules. Daddy would have to punish you."
Carl grinned. "You don't have to do shit."
"Hmm." Its eyes flashed mischievously, contemplating. "But I want to."