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Forget-me not.
A beautiful small blue flower that stands for true love and remembrance.
a beautiful, small, and pleasant flower.
Who knew such a small thing could cause a man so much pain?
small and batched together like a painting.
But having petals of it rise from your throat, ripping through your lungs and clawing at your throat wasn't so lovely.
Elegant, delicate and dainty.
But not fragile.
Never fragile.
Small but significant.
And the perfect shade of blue.
And of course they'd match his eyes.
of course a flower so innocent would rip through Enjin once he fell for him.
Soft to the touch yet Enjin felt nothing more than agony and suffering every time he coughed another splat of blood laced with those familiar petals and stems.
It felt even worse whenever he'd look down at the trail of blood dripping from his mouth and seeing the fully grown flowers.
stems long and flowers blooming just at the tips of them.
That beautiful, perfect shade of blue.
It felt almost like a mock from the universe itself to take a man—who is only seen as a womanizer by most—fall harder than ever for a man he can't love.
Or at least fears to bare himself and allow himself to be loved.
Gris had reduced him to….this.
A frail man that only could pour his blood out but not his heart for love.
He could only blame himself for all this.
No matter how much he points the blame on Gris he knows that he led himself into this wall of pity.
Because he held onto Gris' arm that day and dragged him to his room.
Because he pressed his chest with Gris.
Because he allowed himself to lay naked, bare, and vulnerable.
Because he broke his one rule.
Never get attached after a one night stand.
You're a cleaner, you don't have time to commit nor take care of someone.
Don't put your feelings into it.
Just get some release and go.
Simple.
So fucking simple.
But it isn't simple when the so-called one night stand holds you like a sculpture.
Whispered your name like a prayer.
Kiss your body like it was sacred.
And held you like you hung the world.
Eyes soft and strong pouring into his own.
Soft kisses over his tattoos.
Tracing the line of his skin from his chest to his abdomen.
Those large rough hands holding hims gently and pressing into his skin.
Whispering sweet nothings as he dragged his tongue over Enjin's sides.
And that kiss.
Fuck.
The feel of his lips pressing ever so softly but firmly against his own.
Gentle and holy.
Sweeping his breath away as those hands engulfed his face and kept his eyes on him.
A brass contrast to the hunk of a man before him.
Palm pressed against his naked back and lips against his collar bone as he lifted his head to meet Enjin's eyes.
He never felt his heart squeezed like this before, melting at the sight.
Those blue eyes looking up at him.
Desperate and worshipful.
Gleaming with need but still holding back to make sure Enjin felt comfortable.
It felt like he was part of something sacred.
Even as Gris laced him onto the bed and held his arms above him.
Even as he grabbed his hips and grinded against him slowly, dragging the sensation between them both.
He kissed him gently.
Soft lips.
Soft and slow.
Deliberate.
The sound of groans and huffs from his lips.
Hands that were huge but gentle caressing every part of his body he could reach.
Holding down on his hips but just enough that it doesn't hurt.
Picking him up and carrying him to the couch, spreading Enjin's legs.
Delving into making Enjin enter a state of pure bliss.
That night he couldn't forget.
I won't forget.
In the midst of all the tension and heat, he actually felt loved.
Seen.
That wasn't supposed to be the case.
That night shouldn't have happened to begin with, if Enjin would have just shut his mouth.
It was on a whim at first, Enjin had always wondered about Gris' personal experience— considering how little he knew about his private life—so he asked him up for a one night fuck.
Now Enjin has had his fair share of one night stands and he knows they don't last.
They're not supposed to be gentle or sweet.
Just a quick and easy relief.
So he didn't expect much from Gris either in this case..
He thought it'd be sloppy, hurried, messy, just like most of what he'd been through.
Not gentle.
Not light.
Not….that.
He remembered waking up the next day, his body feeling blissful not sore.
Two warm large arms wrapped around his waist, keeping him planted on top of a firm body.
Gris held him with his hand wrapped over Enjin's waist, steadying him so he wouldn't fall.
Warm.
Gentle, Slow breaths.
It made him ease a little and cave into the sensation.
His ear was gently pressed against Gris' heart and that's when he first felt the clog in his throat and the sudden urge to cough.
Slowly and carefully he slipped his body from Gris' grip and headed into the bathroom where he bent over the toilet and threw up.
Holding the sides of the toilet as the stream of puke and flowers flowed down.
His throat and eyes burned as he coughed the remaining nausea down and flushed the toilet.
Wiping his mouth and leaning against the wall, he placed his hand over his eyes.
Turning his head slightly back to the toilet, he caught a glimpse of a petal on the lid of the toilet.
That made his focus return as he crawled over and picked the petal off examining it.
It was small and still hadn't grown its full petals out yet.
Enjin froze a little as he recognized the shape of its petals, dropping it immediately.
But there was no mistake that it was a forget-me-not.
Gris' favorite flower.
Specifically in the shade of blue that reflected like Gris' eyes.
The sight of the flower on the flower with the flashing image of Gris' eyes and soft smile.
His low breaths as he whispered into his ears.
And those damn arms-
It made another wave of nausea fill his throat making his eyes tear up.
He turned back over to the toilet puking yet again, this time with a little more petals earning a confused look from Enjin.
The sight of the petals threw him off in confusion, wondering where they had come from.
As he sat down resting his head against the wall he was hit with the sudden realization.
He had Hanahaki disease.
Those petals came from him.
…He was in love with Gris.
No.
He groaned, grabbing the roots of his hair, frustration building up at himself.
For being so reckless and foolish.
And for letting himself fall in love.
But he knew he couldn't stay here too long, mulling over the flowers.
He quickly stood up washing his face and grabbing his clothes from the couch changing.
He planned to head to Eishia and ask her about all of this.
He wasn't gonna die over a small crush..
…will he?
Glancing back at the sleeping body on the bed, he gave a small kiss to Gris' forehead, not noticing the small flower that had slipped through his lips and landed in Gris' hand.
His hand lingered slightly above the sleeping man's face but he pulled away regardless.
Finally stepping away and out the door.
This time his heart was throbbing a little louder than before.