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“I don’t like it when Master touches me.”
Kurogiri looked up from the glass he had been dusting. Tomura stood in the doorway, fidgeting and refusing to make eye contact. He was wearing the hands again. Kurogiri knew he should have been used to them by now, but sometimes something about them just felt… different.
“Physical contact is a necessary part of combat training.” He cringed as the words came out. Nothing All For One did was necessary. Nothing he did was acceptable. Children shouldn’t spend hours in dojos. They shouldn’t leave covered in bruises and blood. God, he wished he were allowed to tell Tomura that.
“No, not that.” Tomura’s voice was so quiet. “I don’t like… Whatever, it's not important. I’ll get used to it.”
Kurogiri watched as Tomura curled in on himself. He looked like he was trying to disappear behind the hands that always seemed to cover him nowadays. It wasn’t until he turned to leave that Kurogiri finally noticed what was different about the hands.
The ones that usually rested on his upper arms had been moved to rest on his thighs, as if Tomura was using them to cover something. Like they were armor against some unseen evil.
It took Kurogiri longer than it should have to put the pieces together as he looked down at Tomura’s legs. The hands on them were so much larger than the child they rested on that the fingers could easily touch even when wrapped around the thickest part of his leg.
Kurogiri felt sick. All the anger for All For One that he’d been forced to swallow over the years came bubbling up, but no matter how hard he tried to speak, his voice abandoned him. All he could do was watch as Tomura walked away.
Days passed after that night in the bar. Every time Kurogiri looked, he found a new piece of a puzzle he hadn’t noticed. All the little touches that lingered too long. All the looks that had too much behind them. All the times Tomura was whisked away to some place, Kurogiri wasn’t allowed to follow. It all fit perfectly together.
How could he not have seen it? How could he not have noticed the ways Tomura had changed over the months? The way he had started to shy away from even the most basic touch.
The way he clung to those hands, as if somehow they might protect him.
Nothing Kurogiri did seemed to matter. He couldn’t get between All For One and Tomura. Anytime he tried, his programming would stop him dead in his tracks. He couldn’t even talk to Tomura. No matter how many times he forced his uncooperative legs to take him to Tomura’s room, he could never force his traitorous body to take the last step that would allow him to tell his child that he wasn’t alone. That what was happening to him wasn’t his fault.
A selfish part of him wished Tomura had never said anything. As he watched the child he had begun to see as his own freeze as All For One’s hand lingered on his back for just a moment too long, he wished he could go back to not knowing. To not spend every night switching between hope and fear that it would get bad enough that Tomura would call him. That something would happen that would allow him to break through his programming and protect his child.
Nothing ever did.
More time passed. The lingering touches got longer. More intimate. More…private.
Did Tomura even know? He was so young and so goddamn sheltered. Did he even know that what All For One was doing to him was wrong? Or was it just one more thing that monster had managed to convince him was love?
The rage that had taken over Kurogiri’s mind in the first weeks was gone and replaced by a deep shame. How could he have failed so much? How could he sit by and watch as All For One grew ever bolder? As Tomura retreated further into himself.
Then it came. The night he had been hoping for and dreading in equal amounts. All For One pushed too far, and Tomura snapped.
“KUROGIRI!”
Kurogiri sat bolt upright in sheer panic. Before he had even processed what he was doing, he was up and halfway across the tiny apartment he and Tomura shared. He could feel the tug of his programming trying to stop him in his tracks, but the combination of desperation and the order All For One had given him to protect tomura were finally enough to break through.
He slammed the door to Tomura’s room open and stopped dead in his tracks. He had imagined doing it so many times. When the noises of what was happening behind that door would filter through the walls. When it was over, all Kurogiri could do was listen as Tomura’s sobs slowly grew quiet. He had imagined breaking through that door and killing All For One. He had imagined scooping Tomura into his arms and taking him somewhere far away where no one would hurt him anymore. But at that moment, he couldn’t do any of that.
The scene in front of him made Kurogiri’s stomach turn. He’d known what All For One had been working up to. He wasn’t stupid. He’s seen the signs as that man pushed further and further into Tomura’s space. As he slowly but surely broke down every boundary a child should have. It still didn’t make it easier to see it.
The smell of blood and sex hit Kurogiri in the face as he stood in the doorway. Tomura lay curled into a ball on his bed. His neck bled as his fingers dug into it over and over again. Tears and something else he forced himself not to think about dripped down Tomura’s face and mixed with the blood oozing from his neck. His eyes followed him, pleading for help in the only way he could. He had to move. He had to do something.
But he couldn’t. He had thought that maybe he would finally be allowed to stop this. To help. To do anything. But he couldn’t.
The only difference was that now he had to watch as All For One drew closer to Tomura. As he shoved his child's legs apart and forced himself between them. He had to listen as Tomura sobbed and begged for his help. He had to be there for the moment that Tomura realized no one was going to help him.
Kurogiri didn’t know how long he stood there in that doorway, fighting against the invisible barrier that kept him in place. Watching as All For One violated his son. Watching as Tomura’s eyes grew foggy and distant. Even when it was over, and All For One had gotten his sick pleasure, he wasn’t allowed to move. He had to stand there as All For One shoved Tomura’s limp, bleeding body away like he was nothing but a doll.
It was only when All For One had redressed himself and begun to leave that he finally allowed Kurogiri to move.
“Clean him up.”
For the first time since he had entered the room, Kurogiri looked at All For One. He was smiling. Kurogir wanted nothing more than to reach forward and tear him apart. To rip him limb from limb and present his heart to Tomura. To show him that All For One could never hurt him again. Whatever rage showed through Kurogiri’s misty eyes only made All For One’s smile widen.
“I’ll be back tomorrow. I want him clean by then.”
And just like that, Kurogiri could move again. Maybe if he were a stronger man, he would have gone after All For One in that moment. But he didn’t. He wasn’t strong. He wasn’t anything. He couldn’t even stop his son from being raped right in front of him. All he could do was follow orders.
The second All For One was gone, Kurogiri rushed to Tomura’s side. He wasn’t moving. He just lay there in the position All For One had left him in when he had shoved him away. The only sign he was even alive was his ragged breathing and the occasionally tiny noise of despair that slipped from his mouth.
Kurogiri wanted to reach out. He wanted to pull Tomura into his arms and show him that touch wasn’t supposed to hurt. He wanted so desperately to comfort him and to tell him that it was okay, but the moment he reached out, he stopped. Was it even safe to touch him right now? Would he even know it was Kurogiri’s hand and not All For One’s?
That thought was enough to have Kurogiri snatching his hand away. Tomura’s eyes were still so vacant. What if he hadn’t realized it was over? What if the reason he hadn’t started to come back to himself was that he thought Kurogiri was going to hurt him the same way All For One had? How could he think any differently when Kurogiri had stood there and watched everything that had happened to him without lifting a finger to stop it?
“Tomura? Are you–” Was he what? Was he okay? What could Kurogiri possibly ask that would matter right now?
“Are you here?” He knew it was a stupid question. The vacant look in Tomura’s eyes told him that wherever he was, it was far away from this room. He didn’t expect Tomura to answer him right away, but he hoped that if he stayed with him long enough, he would feel safe enough to come back to his body.
Kurogiri sat, unsure of what else to do, as he prayed to any god that might be listening that Tomura wasn’t gone forever. That he would eventually find his way back to his own body if only to know that it was over and that for the moment he was safe.
As he sat, he felt the pull he had grown so familiar with over the years. All For One had given him an order, and he wasn’t following it. That wouldn’t be allowed for much longer.
Before long, his will broke under the unbearable weight of his programming. Robotically, he got to his feet, moving through the house like a ghost as he gathered the supplies needed to clean up the evidence of what had happened that night. When he got back to Tomura’s room, he still hadn’t moved. His mind still hadn’t come back.
Kurogiri’s hands shook as he slowly moved towards the prone boy. He fought desperately against the orders he had been given, but his body refused to stop. He tried to scream, to tell Tomura that he didn’t want to do this. To tell him that he loved him, and he would never hurt him.
But as his hands slowly pushed Tomura’s legs apart, he knew that wasn’t true. Tomura whimpered, the first sound he had made since All For One left, and Kurogiri felt something inside of him break. His hands moved methodically, cleaning the congealed blood and semen from Tomura’s skin. All the while listening as Tomura began to cry once more.
By the time it was done, Kurogiri was exhausted. His mind was so tired from fighting and failing to resist his programming that if he had been able to, he might have collapsed. Finally, it was over. Finally, he could let Tomura rest.
But when he reached a hand out in comfort, Tomura flinched away.
When Kurogiri met his eyes, he saw that the emptiness had been replaced with a look of such pain it took his breath away. Right now, he wasn’t Tomura’s caretaker. He wasn't the one who helped him get the knots out of his hair when it got tangled or made sure the house always had the snacks he liked. Right now, he was just another person who had violated him. That had laid him bare and forced their touch on him. Right now, he was just another monster for Tomura to fear.
Maybe that’s what he would always be. The trust he had worked so hard to build was gone. He was too weak to stop All For One. He was too weak to fight against his orders. And now he was too weak to even find the words to tell Tomura he was sorry.
“I–” There was nothing to say. Nothing to make this better. Nothing to change what had happened. Nothing to change what he did. What they did. “I must go.”
Tomura would be better without him. It had been his hands forcing Tomura to lay himself bare just as much as All For One’s. This was his fault, and as much as it pained him, he knew he couldn’t stay. Not now that Tomura was afraid of him.
As he turned to leave, he felt the slightest tug on the hem of his shirt.
“Don’t leave me… Please. I don’t– I don’t wanna be alone.”
Kurogiri felt a wave of relief he knew he didn’t deserve wash over him. He didn’t deserve Tomura’s forgiveness. Not when he had hurt him when he was so vulnerable. But even as the guilt gnawed away at what was left of his soul, he couldn’t help the relief that those words brought him.
“I will stay with you for as long as you want me to.”
Tomura didn’t speak again. He just nodded as he used shaky hands to pull a blanket around himself. Kurogiri settled into the chair near Tomura’s bed. Neither of them slept, the only sound that broke the silence was Tomura’s occasional sobs. As Kurogiri spent the night watching Tomura try to figure out how to live with what had been done to him, he made a promise.
No matter how long it took, no matter how much it cost, he would destroy All For One. He would protect his son, and then he would spend the rest of his life making up for his part in what was done to him.