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Jay was a little bit of a nobody. Not the kind that nobody talked to, but someone who kinda just stayed to himself and his small group of friends.
Heeseung, Jake, and Sunghoon had been his best friends since God knows how long. And when they weren't pissing each other off most of their time is spent together. Either skateboarding, or smoking weed. Occasionally grinding out long hours on Fortnite.
At school, they kept their heads down, just waiting for the day to end so they could get back to doing the same boring shit they always did.
Jay had lived in this town for forever. It was the kind of small town where not much ever happened. Winters are cold, while summers are hot and sticky. Nothing ever really changes. At least not until the college students rolled around for the semester.
When the nearby campus hosted events, Jay and his friends would sometimes sneak in. Disguising themselves as college kids. More for their entertainment than to actually fit in.
But last year, something had changed.
Jungwon.
Jay hadn't expected for the whole trajectory of his life to change. But then there he was. A shortie with soft, dark hair falling just above his eyes; smooth skin catching the light just right, and that smile.
That damn smile.
Jungwon was nearly impossible to ignore. Showing off his cute lil dimples.
Maybe it was the way his eyes crinkled when he laughed, or the way he treated others so kindly.
He was perfect. Perfect in every way, Jay thinks.
Jay remembers Jungwon's first day like it had happened yesterday.
He was skipping class that day, probably to go smoke under the bleachers on the soccer field.
And that's when he saw him...
His sweater folded neatly over his arm and his backpack slung over both shoulders. He looked new but undeterred; his hair perfectly tousled, eyes scanning the hallway behind thick rimmed glasses, taking everything in.
Jay's eyes followed after him. Like a moth to a flame. He was entranced by Jungwon's very being. And when Jungwon glanced up, locking eyes with him for a brief second, it damn near gave him whiplash.
He body instantly went stiff as the boy calmly walked past him, talking quietly with the principal beside him.
To Jay it felt like one of those out of body experiences in the movies. Sure, he'd had crushes before. He'd even had a girlfriend last year before they broke up; but he couldn't remember the last time anyone had made him feel like that. Had truly taken his breath away. And from that day on, Jay had never forgotten him.
Jungwon became hot shit real quick. Joined the dance team, the Mathletes, and taekwondo! Anything and everything that would keep him busy and in the limelight.
One of the guys on the football asked him out within the first week he got there, and they started dating not even a month after his arrival.
Jay never stood a chance.
So he sat back and watched from afar. They never had classes together, so the only time he could see him without going out of his way was during lunch or in passing periods. And Jay made sure to look out for him every time.
In the halls, on the football field after school, laughing with his friends in the courtyard. Sometimes, Jay would catch glimpses of him in the library, head bowed over a textbook, hair falling into his eyes as he scribbled notes. Other times, he'd pass by the dance room and see Jungwon practicing with his team, his movements sharp and precise, the other members watching in awe. Or he'd catch him at the vending machines, leaning casually against the wall, smiling over at his best friend, Sunoo, as he told some story; his contagious laugh echoing down the hall.
During lunch periods, Jungwon would walk by with Sunoo. They'd strut through the halls and everyone parted for them like the Red Sea.
Jay would sit in his usual spot, (a table where Jungwon couldn't see him) his eyes tracking Jungwon's every move. And sometimes, he'd let himself imagine what it would be like to actually talk to him or sit across from Jungwon and hear his laugh up close.
To watch his dimples deepen with each smile. But that thought left as quickly as it came. What would he even say to him?
"Hey, I've been staring at you for months now, and I think you're perfect?" Or worse, "Hey, I'm in love with you even though you don't know I exist."
No. Jungwon would probably laugh, or look at him like he was crazy.
"Bro, are you gonna go talk to him?" Heeseung would ask, slapping Jay upside his head to get him out of the trance Jungwon had him in.
'Of course not.' Jay would always reply as he continued to stare. At one point, his friends stopped acknowledging him and just let him gawk. They simply rolled their eyes and ignored him. They knew how bad Jay had it.
And now it's been a year, and Jay told himself he was over it. He was ready to let go of this dumb, hopeless infatuation.
That was until the night he found Jungwon standing on the ledge of a bridge. Ready to go over.
‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. ✧˚₊‧⋆‧
Jay doesn't usually go out for walks. But lately, he finds himself doing it more often than not. The quiet in his room isn't comforting anymore. Not when it's broken by muffled yelling downstairs.
His parents have been arguing more than usual these days. Stupid things, mostly. Jay tries not to listen, but the walls in their house are paper thin. So he walks.
The neighborhood is quiet at night, and small enough that he knows every street by heart.
He's lived here forever. Watched the trees grow taller, saw the same porch lights flicker on just as the sun dipped behind the trees... He also watched as the kids he used to play tag with turn into strangers who wouldn't even so much as nod in his direction in the hallway.
Still, it's safe. Safe enough that his parents don't question him leaving late, and he doesn't question if he'll make it back.
The moon is high in the sky, heavy and bright behind a veil of clouds. A soft wind shifts the leaves overhead, and the air is warm. It's almost summer. His hoodie clings to him more than he'd like, but the familiar fabric brings him some comfort.
There's something about being out here that feels better than being cooped up inside with his thoughts and the shouting.
As he rounds the corner past his street, he hears it before he sees it. There's a thudding bass line, a few scattered voices shouting over music into the thin air. Then, the glow of neon lights flickering from inside the window of someone's home. A house party. The driveway is littered with cars, the lawn full of people he notices from school.
Half of them drunk, the other half trying to be. He pauses on the sidewalk, staring for a second.
It's not like he's never been to one. He's smokes all the time. Had his fair share of drinks in Jake's basement. But those were safe places. Places with his friends. Here, at parties like this, with all the kids who wouldn't even remember his name; it feels different. Louder. Lonelier, somehow.
He should be in there, maybe. Living it up like every other high schooler. Laughing too loud, posting stupid stories, hooking up with someone he won't talk to come Monday. But he knows himself too well. That's not him.
Jay takes a deep breath and keeps walking. He likes being alone, he tells himself. It's easier.
The night stretches on in front of him, and he disappears down the next street like a ghost.
It's been about fifteen minutes now, and his neighborhood is no longer in view. The houses disappearing behind him. Now, all that's left is the winding biking trail that stretches out ahead.
Jay follows it without thinking, the gravel crunching under his shoes. It's a path he's known since childhood, when he and his friends used to ride their bikes to the edge of town pretending they were cops and robbers. It leads straight to the red bridge, the one piece of architecture their tiny town is oddly proud of. Painted fire engine red and arched over the narrowest part of the lake. His town is so proud of the bridge it's in every town postcard, every senior grad photo, every half-hearted city website banner.
The air feels cooler now as he walks closer to the stream of water. A slight chill creeps into the wind, brushing at the nape of his neck and rustling the trees around him. He tugs his hoodie tighter, arms crossed over his chest, and presses forward. His eyes land on the bridge as it comes into view through the foliage. Still and silent, its red color almost muted in the moonlight.
He steps onto the bridge and pauses halfway across, leaning against the old iron railing. The lake below glistering, the moon creating shimmery ripples. For a moment, Jay just closes his eyes and listens.
Everything feels distant. The arguing. The party. The weight pressing down on his chest from this past month.
When he opens his eyes he spots a familiar patch of rocks below at the base of the bridge. He and Heeseung used to sneak off and skip pebble stones there in the summer. It's clode enough to reach from the slope on the far side of the trail.
Jay hops the guardrail and carefully makes his way down, brushing past tall grass and sharp branches until he reaches the water's edge.
He picks up a small, flat stone and throws it. It skips once, twice, then sinks. Another follows, then another. He feels almost at peace. He makes a mental note to come here more often. And as the night drags on he tells himself he'll throw a few more, then head home. Maybe his parents will be asleep by then. Maybe the air surrounding his house won't feel so heavy.
He bends down to pick up another stone when he hears it.
A noise above him.
Not loud; just enough to make his heart jump. Footsteps, maybe. The soft shift of gravel under shoes. He straightens up slowly, pulse quickening as he turns to look over his shoulder. There's nothing.
At first, it's faint; just a whisper beneath the wind and the rustle of trees. But as he stills, holding his breath, it becomes clearer.
Unmistakable. Sobbing. Ragged and broken.
Jay peers up toward the bridge, eyes narrowing as he spots a figure right at the ledge.
The crying is louder now. The sound cuts through the night like it doesn't belong, like it was never meant to be heard by anyone else. The figure— small; stands hunched at the edge of the railing, shoulders trembling. Their skin looks pale in the moonlight. Frail. Vulnerable.
Jay squints, trying to make out the face, but from where he's standing below, it's hard to see anything clearly. Just the shape of someone who looks too close to falling. Too close to the edge.
His first instinct is to look away. Give the stranger some space; maybe it's a breakup.
Maybe it's none of his business.
He turns his head and picks up another stone, pretending not to notice, pretending it's just another late night wanderer with nowhere else to cry. But the sobs get louder, and more uncontrollable.
A noise tears from the figure's throat; something between a scream and a sob, raw and choked, like they're pleading with the universe for something, anything. The sound echoes across the lake, and Jay freezes.
The figure he can now make out as a boy wipes at his face frantically, like he's trying to erase the whole world.
He shifts.
Leans a little too far forward over the edge.
He wouldn't, Jay thinks, stomach clenching.
Another cry.
Louder. Full of anguish.
'That's it.' Jay can't ignore it anymore.
Panic shoots through him as he scrambles up the hill, his shoes slipping on the loose gravel. He stumbles, palms hitting the ground as rocks scatter behind him, tumbling back toward the water. His heart pounds in his chest, adrenaline replacing every ounce of hesitation. "Shit," he breathes, dragging himself up.
He claws his way to the top, ducking under the rusted iron beams of the bridge, fingers scraping against the cool metal. His breathing is harsh, uneven. His legs ache. But he finally pulls himself up onto the walkway, brushing dirt from his jeans as he stands, gaze snapping forward. And there he is.
Standing at the very edge, silhouetted in the moonlight; staring out into the water like he's waiting for it to answer him.
The wind has settled, but the water below rushes loud and fast, slapping against the stone and iron that's held this bridge up for decades. It's the only sound now, besides the dull, unrelenting thud of Jay's heart in his ears.
The boy's grip on the railing is tight. Knuckes white. Holding on like it's the only thing keeping him here on earth. His hood is up, hiding most of his face, and he doesn't look back. Doesn't even flinch at the sound of Jay's footsteps approaching.
Jay takes a slow, careful step forward, like he might scare him off if he moves too quickly.
And then, before he can even think to say anything...
The figure moves.
Climbs.
So quick it barely registers with Jay. One leg, then the other, swinging over the rail in a single, fluid motion. His sneakers scrape against the iron as he steadies himself on the thin ledge. Now he's on the other side, body trembling, hands clutching the railing behind him as he looks down at the water.
Jay's stomach drops. "Wait—!" he yells, voice louder than he's ever heard it. He lurches forward, nearly tripping over his own feet as he rushes to the edge. The boy is still sobbing, shoulders shaking violently. The kind of crying that comes from somewhere deep beyond sadness.
Jay stops just behind him, chest heaving.
"Hey. Hey, wait," he says, trying to keep his voice calm, steady, even as panic rises in his throat like bile. "Don't. Just.. please. Think about it first. Just... think."
He raises his hands slowly, like he's approaching a wild animal.
"I don't know what you're going through, but whatever it is... it's not worth this. I swear. Please get down."
The boy doesn't move.
Jay takes another careful step forward, his voice softer now. "You don't have to do this. Just... talk to me."
Jay can't see much. Just the boy's black hood pulled up tight, short strands of brown hair sticking out at odd angles, catching the breeze. His skin, pale under the little light the moon provides, glowing faintly where it's exposed beneath a pair of cargo shorts.
The newness of his sneakers stands out. They're too clean, too untouched for someone who looks so worn down.
"Please," Jay says again, voice breaking, barely more than a whisper now. "Just wait." He inches closer. The sound of the stream below seems louder somehow. Each step feels like it takes forever. He's so close now. Close enough to feel the boy's shaking.
He reaches out, and just as his fingers graze the fabric of the boy's hood, the figure turns.
Jay feels like he's been punched in the chest.
Jungwon.
His face is wet, blotchy and red. His eyes, that are always bright, are now clouded over with something that looks like resignation. His lips tremble. His ears, red from the breeze or from crying. Jay can't even begin to come up with answers.
For one terrible, stretched out second, they just look at each other. And Jay almost forgets where he's at. The situation at hand.
He never thought this would be how his first encounter with the other would be—
Then Jungwon moves.
"NO—!" Jay yells, voice cracking open as Jungwon turns back and lets go…
He reacts before he can think, lunging forward, grabbing Jungwon by the arm just as he slips from the ledge. His body jerks with the weight, knees slamming into the iron railing with a sickening crack. The pain is blinding, but he doesn't let go.
"Shit—!" he gasps, teeth grit as blood starts to soak through his jeans.
Jungwon dangles there, dead weight in his grip, shoulders slumped, head down, sobbing into the night. Jay's muscles scream. His arms shake. His whole body is screaming at him to stop, to let go.
But he won't. He can't.
"Pleaseeee," he begs, voice desperate now, shaking. "JUNGWON. please." And that name.
His cry of his name, makes Jungwon finally look up. Their eyes meet again. Jungwon's gaze is dead, but something flickers there. Recognition. Surprise.
Jay's grip tightens.
"I've got you," he says, through clenched teeth. "I swear to God, I've got you."
Both of Jay's arms strain under the weight, muscles burning, both hands locked tight around Jungwon's forearm. His body is pressed against the cold metal of the railing, breath coming in ragged bursts. His knee is throbbing, blood sticky and warm; but he doesn't dare move, doesn't dare shift an inch.
He knows it. He can't pull Jungwon up like this. Not alone. Not with just one arm. Not when Jungwon's not helping. So he does the only thing he can do.
"Jungwon," he begs, voice raw, "give me your other hand. Please. Please, I can't hold you like this... just give me your hand." He tries to sound calm, but his voice cracks under the weight of everything. The fear. The pain. The desperation.
Tears fall now, silent at first, then faster. They streak down his face, unnoticed, mixing with his sweat. He can’t lose him… not like this.
Jungwon's hand is sweaty. Too wet. He can feel him slowing slipping from his grip.
Hell NO, he thinks.
"Please," Jay says again, pleading now, "you're not alone. You're not. Just— give me your hand. That's all. J-just give me your hand."
Jungwon doesn't speak. His eyes are wide, and wet, and stunned. He looks like a kid lost in the middle of a storm. But he hears him.
He hears him.
There's a beat. One long, unbearable second where nothing happens; and then, slowly, hesitantly, Jungwon lifts his free arm, shaky and uncertain. Jay grabs it instantly, fingers locking tight around his wrist.
"Good. That's good," he breathes, relief making him dizzy. "Okay. Okay. Just hang on. I've got you. I promise. I've got you."
He braces himself against the rail, digs his heel into the wooden base of the bridge, and pulls with everything he has. His entire body trembles. His shoulders scream. His knee is on fire. But he doesn't stop. He won't stop.
"Come on," he huffs through clenched teeth. "Come on, Jungwon, pleaseee stay with me." And inch by inch, he feels it. Jungwon is coming up. Not fighting anymore. Not falling.
Jay lets out a weird sound, half sob, half groan; and with one final burst of strength, he pulls.
They collapse in a heap of limbs on the concrete. Jay landing hard on his back, Jungwon crumpling on top of him. His hood falls back. His face is tear stained and red and beautiful and broken.
Jay's arms curl around him instantly, without thought, as Jungwon shakes in his arms.
Neither of them says anything at first. Just the sound of Jungwon's nonstop flood of tears. Just the night holding them close. Just the wind moving like it's watching them both, holding its breath too.
Then Jay whispers, so quiet it might as well be the wind…
"I've got you."