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Seungkwan had been thinking about this for quite a while now. Wanting a child was normal at his age. He was twenty-seven, the only omega in the family besides his mom. And on top of that, the only one who still didn’t have a child. It weighed on him. No one was demanding grandchildren from him or pressuring him to finally get married, but it still weighed on him.
He wanted children. He wanted two beautiful girls, whom he could raise to be the best young women in the world. But, looking back at his personal life, it just hadn’t been possible. His last relationship had ended before it even began, after Seungkwan realized the guy had no desire to build anything stronger than regular sex and silly text exchanges where, it seemed, the only thing he cared about was the size of his dick. The relationship before that had ended with his boyfriend realizing he was never actually gay and leaving Boo for some girl. There was nothing wrong with self-discovery, but it stung that it had happened within a relationship with him. Seungkwan's longest relationship had lasted only seven months, and that was depressing.
He was attractive, he had a pleasant scent of fresh tangerines, he was a good person who understood how to build a relationship – but apparently, that wasn’t enough to finally get his own happy ending.
Boo had come to the conclusion that he didn’t even need a partner. He just desperately wanted children. He wanted to be a dad. Even if he had to do it alone. He had enough money and energy for it.
“What are you thinking about?” Hansol appeared as if out of nowhere. He always did that.
“Nothing you don’t already know about,” Boo replied with a weak smile. Of course, they had discussed this topic before. Vernon was Seungkwan’s best friend. He’d learned about this problem almost before Seungkwan had even started thinking about it himself.
“I’m ready to listen to it again if you need to talk,” he said softly, sinking onto the couch next to Boo. Hansol had moved in with him and Jeonghan for an indefinite period while his own apartment was being renovated. Jeonghan hadn’t expressed any displeasure only because he himself had practically moved in with Seungcheol and only came back to their apartment for a few things very rarely. Seungkwan wasn’t sure if he was happy about this.
Thank God the older one at least still paid his half of the rent.
Hansol smelled nice. Very subtly, but Seungkwan always noticed. That dry, crumbly scent like the taste of chalk. You could almost feel it on your tongue, but it was never enough. Vernon had an incredibly strange and therefore alluring scent. Maybe it would have been easier if Jeonghan hadn’t allowed Vernon to stay.
“It’s not important,” the older one said, shaking his head. “It’s not like you can fix it anyway. You’re not going to knock me up, are you?” he continued with a laugh. Just a ridiculous idea.
“Why not?” Chwe shrugged, as if saying it completely seriously. Seungkwan laughed.
“Very funny, Vernon,” he reached for the remote on the arm of the couch, hoping to find something on TV to distract himself from the thought pulsing in his head.
“I’m serious,” Hansol got to his feet and turned toward the guest room where he’d been staying for a couple of days. “I could.”
The door closed behind him, and Seungkwan forgot what he had even intended to do, freezing halfway to the remote.
Was he serious?
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Boo sat in his room, pressed against the headboard of his bed, staring blankly at the wall in front of him. Was he serious?
Seungkwan doubted it. He was probably joking. He always joked. This was Vernon, after all. Seungkwan shouldn’t even be thinking about it. But he was. Because while Chwe always joked, he never joked about things that were important to Seungkwan. This was Vernon. He was his best friend and he knew everything about Seungkwan, and he knew how Seungkwan needed to be understood and seen, and he… Well, it was Vernon.
Hansol was an alpha and, well, theoretically they could have a child, but then what would they become to each other? Seungkwan wouldn’t want to burden his best friend with a child he didn’t want. Plus, oh god, they were best friends. Who in this world has a child with their best friend just because they felt like it?
Seungkwan covered his head with a pillow and seemed to be trying to suffocate himself. It seemed like a solution was right there on a silver platter – Vernon was willing to help him with his biggest problem. But how many new problems would arise if they actually did it?
He called Jeonghan.
"I swear, if this isn't something insanely urgent, I'm hanging up," Yoon sounded tired. "I'm going to bed in five seconds if you don't tell me what's going on."
"Vernon offered to get me pregnant," Boo said quickly, squeezing his eyes shut at the words. He had really said it out loud.
"What?!" Seungkwan heard Jeonghan sit up in bed and tell Seungcheol to go to sleep without him. "What do you mean, 'offered to get me pregnant'?!"
"Exactly what I mean," he pulled the blanket over himself as if it could save him from all these serious thoughts and conversations. "I was thinking again about how much I want kids, and he just caught me while I was lost in thought and said he could do it if I wanted."
"And what did you say?"
"Nothing. He left before I even processed what he said," Boo sounded genuinely nervous. "I thought he was joking, but he said he was completely serious."
"That's... interesting," Boo could hear the confusion in his friend's voice. "And now you're actually considering it?"
"Well..." Seungkwan sighed. "It's complicated. You know I've come to terms with the fact that something's clearly off with my personal life, so I think... Just having a child with my best friend... It might not be the worst option," he tried to sound like he wasn't asking a million questions in his head. "I mean, he offered himself, right?"
"Yeah, but... In that case, would he only be involved in the conception, or in raising the child too?" Jeonghan didn't even seem to want to untangle what would happen to his and Hansol's relationship if they did this. No one knew the answer to that question anyway. Seungkwan wished he knew. "You two have a lot to discuss if you decide to go through with this."
"I know, but..." he covered his eyes with his hand and bit his lip. "Okay, I don't know a damn thing..."
"Do you want me to come over?" Now Jeonghan sounded nervous too.
"No. No, it's fine," Boo shook his head, even though he knew Yoon couldn't see him. "Go to bed, Han."
"Are you sure? Seungcheol won't die without me for one night," he tried to defuse the tension with his usual, not-always-smooth jokes.
"I'm sure. I need to think about all this myself," he sighed heavily again, which clearly didn't convince Jeonghan, but he gave up.
"Okay... Goodnight. I love you, Kwan-ah."
"I love you too, Hani."
Seungkwan heard a few short beeps and put his phone down on the pillow beside him. He had a long night of thinking ahead of him.
Yet another long night of thinking about him and Vernon.
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Around six in the morning, Seungkwan came out of his room to make coffee. He hated sleepless nights, especially when they were due to stress and not fun. His heat was due in a month or so, and that didn’t make him happy either. He inserted a capsule labeled "Americano" into the coffee machine and placed a cup under the dispenser. Throughout the night, he hadn't found an answer to any of his countless questions. The only thing he understood was that this… was truly a good opportunity for him to start a family. His own, small, but a family nonetheless, consisting of him and his child.
He could give it a try.
At that moment, a tousled head peeked out from the guest room. The cause of his sleepless night had apparently heard the coffee machine working and woke up. Hansol looked cute, and his pheromones smelled stronger, likely because he had just woken up. The coffee machine beeped three times, announcing the readiness of Boo's much-needed drink.
"Why aren't you sleeping?" Vernon came out of the room, rubbing his eyes. "Did something happen?"
Seungkwan wanted to scream. "Yes, something happened. Yes, you offered to get me pregnant. Isn't that something?" echoed in his head. But he didn't say it.
"And how do you think we’re gonna do that?" he asked instead.
"Doing what?" The not-yet-awake brain clearly wasn't helping him carry this conversation.
"How are you going to get me pregnant?" Understanding finally dawned on Vernon's face. He rubbed his eyes again.
"Oh, that," Hansol said, as if it wasn't the most obvious thing in the world. "Well, probably the easiest way would be for us to start having sex until you get pregnant."
The easiest way. Seungkwan was really going to scream.
"That would be weird," he replied calmly.
"Why?"
"We're friends. Best friends. Friends don't sleep with each other. It's weird." Boo couldn't believe he actually had to explain this.
"Well, I'm weird because I'm me, and you're weird because you're my best friend. I don't think it would go beyond the weirdness of our friendship," he said it so easily. He saw no problem in this situation.
"You're such an asshole," Seungkwan couldn't help but get angry. He had spent the entire night lost in thought, while for Hansol, everything was so easy, as if he had made the decision long ago and never doubted it since.
"Okay," Vernon simply smiled and moved closer to make coffee himself, almost trapping Seungkwan with his long limbs. "I just want to help. If you see a problem with it, no one will force you. I offered because I genuinely want to help."
"But you don't want this child," Boo continued.
"I never said that," Seungkwan frowned and felt his cheeks begin to flush, and Chwe, noticing this, smirked. "Yeah, I won't promise you I'll be a full-time father for this kid because I'm not as obsessed with the idea of children as you are," Seungkwan rolled his eyes, "but I would want this child for you. You're my best friend," he finished.
"You really are an asshole," Seungkwan said into his coffee cup, taking a sip. "So, what are you proposing?"
"Let's have a child. I'll help if needed, but you'll be its dad," Hansol didn't even understand how absurd it sounded. Seungkwan preferred to ignore it too.
Boo finally allowed himself to think that he truly wanted this – to have a child with his… best friend and not tie each other down with unnecessary obligations. He liked Vernon's proposal. Fucking asshole.
"Okay," he said, breaking the silence. "So, when do we start?"
"Whenever you're ready."
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It's strange. Preparing to have sex with your best friend. Seungkwan could feel his pheromones growing stronger at the very thought. He was nervous. What if this idea was complete crap, after all? How many attempts would it take before Seungkwan got pregnant? Could he even go through with having sex with Hansol?
No, it wasn't a secret that Boo found Vernon attractive. Even hot, when he wasn't acting like a complete idiot. But could he see him as a sexual partner and not just as his best friend? As something more?
The question was rhetorical. Seungkwan realized it after he woke up in the guest bedroom and smelled their mixed scents.
It was nice. Perhaps he had understood it even before that morning.
Perhaps there was a secret.
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Surprisingly, it wasn't awkward. On the contrary, it felt like they had become more open with each other. More touches, more glances, more honest conversations. Seungkwan finally stopped feeling guilty and let go of the thought that he was burdening Hansol only after their third time. Chwe genuinely wanted to help.
They had been having sex for two weeks now, and Seungkwan had somehow come to terms with the thought. He was sleeping with his best friend. Yes, they were weird.
Vernon made him coffee in the mornings, and Seungkwan cooked them dinner if he got home from work early. They watched movies in the evenings and cuddled. Not because they wanted to, of course – it was just more comfortable on their small couch.
Seungkwan took the initiative almost every time, and he wasn't even embarrassed about it anymore. Pressing his lips to a sensitive ear, hugging from behind and nuzzling into a neck, kissing a temple, playfully biting shoulders. It's all so ordinary that it goes beyond their strangeness.
A few times, they almost kissed outside of sex. Once when Hansol came home too late for Seungkwan to still carry the scent of chalk from their morning session, and again when Seungkwan got news about a possible promotion. Well, because the atmosphere just called for it. Of course.
Jeonghan came home only twice in those two weeks. The first time was on Tuesday of the first week when Vernon had to stay overnight at his own apartment, sleeping on a thin mattress on the floor to wait for an early construction material delivery, and the second time on Friday of the second week. The older one walked into the apartment and immediately noticed how much the scent in the air had changed.
"You agreed," was the first thing Yoon said when he saw Seungkwan coming out of the bathroom. "And you didn't even tell me."
"What?" Seungkwan asked, not understanding what his friend was talking about.
"Oh, don't you play the innocent lamb now," Jeonghan walked closer to the younger one and buried his face in his neck, inhaling as Seungkwan tried to pull away indignantly. "You reek of Hansol's chalk scent."
"Yeah, I agreed," he finally admitted. "So what now?"
"Nothing," Yoon raised an eyebrow questioningly. "Happy for you."
Seungkwan visibly relaxed. His shoulders dropped, and he finally smiled.
"Sorry I didn't tell you," he said. "It's not exactly something you announce casually – that I'm sleeping with my best friend now."
Jeonghan laughed and went into his room to grab something. He came out with a small bag stuffed with things. Seungkwan could swear his friend was slowly but surely moving in with his boyfriend. He was just doing it so subtly he didn't even notice it himself.
"So," Jeonghan plopped onto the couch, "how's the progress?"
"Nothing yet," Boo shrugged and sat down next to him. "It's too early to tell. I took a test, but it was negative. Makes sense – we've only been doing this for two weeks."
"And how often?" he teased curiously.
"Almost every day, honestly," Seungkwan replied easily. Jeonghan was silent for some reason, looking at him in surprise. "What?"
"Whoa…" he finally began. "Don't get me wrong, but even Seungcheol and I don't have sex that often, and we're in a relationship."
"Well, we're trying to conceive," he replied. "We have a goal," he frowned. "Maybe you and Seungcheol should try for a baby, too, and then we'll see how often you start doing it?"
"Chill, what's gotten into you?" Boo retreated to his room. He didn't know why it had bothered him so much.
He and Vernon were just weird. End of discussion. He couldn't start that discussion.
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Seungkwan didn't want to admit it, but it was after that conversation that the frequency of sex between them decreased. Every time Hansol came home from work, Boo hid in his room, except for Tuesday, when he finally remembered why he and Vernon had started all this in the first place.
The Sunday before that, he and Jeonghan talked on the phone, and the older one apologized, saying, "I shouldn't have pried into your bedroom matters. It's your business." Seungkwan felt guilty because he knew Yoon was right. He understood why he had suddenly stopped taking the initiative.
He and Vernon were watching a movie on Thursday when Chwe’s hand landed on the older one’s thigh. Seungkwan didn’t react. He tried not to react. Then the younger one tilted his head and nuzzled into his neck, sniffing the tangerine scent. There was almost no trace of the dry chalk scent left on Seungkwan. Boo shifted uncomfortably.
"Stay still, I'm trying to smell you," Hansol whispered, squeezing his hand on the other’s thigh. Seungkwan pulled away. Goosebumps ran across his skin.
"Stop it," he said, moving further away. "Watch the movie."
Boo didn’t want to look back at the younger one. He knew what Vernon looked like right now. Like a deer caught in headlights.
"Did I do something wrong?" Chwe asked carefully.
"Everything’s fine," Seungkwan lied and got up from the couch. "I’ll get some water."
Vernon didn’t reply. His nose stung, but he preferred to think it was because of the sharp scent of tangerines.
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A couple of days later, Vernon moved back to his own place. The renovation in his apartment was almost finished, but he promised to stop by on Saturday. Seungkwan didn't open the door for him and didn't answer his calls. Jeonghan called him and asked why Chwe had called him almost twenty times, but Boo just told him to tell the younger one that he was fine and continued ignoring his best friend.
On Saturday, exactly two weeks later, Seungkwan invited himself over to Seungcheol's place just to escape. He had ignored Hansol for over two weeks. For over two weeks, he had thought.
He and Jeonghan sat on the balcony, drinking lemonade made from Seungcheol's special recipe. Jeonghan patiently waited for Boo to speak first. He sat there nervously stirring the melting ice in his glass, staring at the neighboring high-rise building. He couldn't smell chalk on himself.
"You were right," he finally spoke up.
"About what?" the older one asked calmly. There were two whole mint sprigs in his glass.
"Even people in relationships don't have sex as often as we did back then."
"Back then?" Seungkwan lowered his gaze to his glass. His mint lay on a saucer that his friend's boyfriend had thoughtfully brought over.
"Maybe it was a bad idea," Boo continued. "Maybe I should end this."
"Kwan-ah, what are you... What are you trying to say?"
He let out a heavy sigh and set his glass down on the table.
"Maybe I like Vernon," his hands began to tremble slightly. "Maybe I've always liked Vernon. Maybe I’m in love with him. And I shouldn't deceive him. I don't think I can have a baby with someone I have feelings for and just... not be with him." A tear rolled down his cheek.
"Hey..." Jeonghan began, but the door behind them opened and Seungcheol came out with another pitcher of lemonade.
"So I wasn't imagining things," he said cheerfully. "I thought you smelled like tangerines."
"What?" Boo asked, confused. "I do smell like tangerines."
Jeonghan looked questioningly at his boyfriend and, seeing his nod toward Seungwan, immediately got up from his chair and buried his nose in the younger one's neck. Tears were still streaming down Seungkwan's cheeks.
"Oh damn..." Yoon whispered, hugging the younger one in an awkward and strange position. "It really smells like chalk, Kwan-ah... When was your heat supposed to start?"
Boo couldn't believe it.
"Now..."
Jeonghan just held him closer, and the door closed behind them.
The millionth message from his best friend arrived on his phone.
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They returned to their apartment together. A sixth note had been slipped under the door. They were all in beautiful craft envelopes with a crooked signature that said "Hansol" and "Please answer" on the last two. Seungkwan held back from crying again.
Jeonghan quickly poured him a glass of water and settled him into the soft armchair in their living room.
"You can't keep ignoring him, especially not now," the older one said. "He needs to know."
"I... Yeah, yes, you're right," Boo was on the verge. "Can you give me my phone?"
Yoon went back to the hallway, where a windbreaker lay on the floor, and pulled the phone from its pocket. A few more messages from Hansol had appeared on the screen.
He handed the phone to his friend and sat on the arm of the chair, stroking his back. With slightly trembling hands, Seungkwan found the right contact and pressed the call button. The answer came instantly.
"Seungkwan?!" To Jeonghan, it seemed like he'd never heard Vernon's voice sound like that – so desperate, scared, and joyful all at once. "Are you okay? What's going on?"
"Everything's fine," Seungkwan said, and his voice cracked. He sniffled and continued, "Can you come over?"
"Yeah, give me ten minutes," the call ended, and Jeonghan's only thought was that he would have to leave these two alone. He told Seungkwan to wash his face, led him to the bathroom, and then went to his own room.
Eight minutes later, someone rang the doorbell, but Seungkwan was still standing in front of the bathroom mirror, unable to step out. He had to. He just had to.
The water hadn't washed away the redness of his eyes from crying, and his trembling hands barely managed to unlock the apartment door. Vernon looked at him with that gaze – the gaze of a deer caught in headlights.
"Are you okay? You were crying? You were crying!" Vernon quickly approached him and placed his hands on his shoulders. "What happened?" He pulled Boo into a hug, and the older one dissolved into the dry, chalky scent. How he had missed it.
"I'm pregnant," Seungkwan whispered quietly, burying his face in the space between Vernon's collarbone and neck, taking a ragged breath.
"And why aren't you happy?" Hansol replied just as quietly, holding him closer. "You should be happy… I don't understand."
Seungkwan took a deep breath, pulled back, nervously running a hand over his face. He had to. He turned away.
"I'm in love with you."
For a second, Boo's world froze. It was quiet around him, empty inside. He imagined Chwe walking away, closing the door, and never coming back.
The next second, Seungkwan saw his best friend in front of him, and then felt the lips of the other on his own. Everything inside Seungkwan blossomed. He felt warm, rough hands on his neck and placed his own on the other's shoulders, responding. The chalky scent mixed with the sharp, fresh scent of tangerines, and Boo melted. Vernon kissed him gently, as if Seungkwan were the most precious and fragile thing on the planet. Vernon kissed his best friend as if he were in love with him.
"Are you serious?" Chwe asked, breaking the kiss but leaning his forehead against the other's relaxed one. "You can't joke about something like that."
Seungkwan nodded and felt a slight nervousness return.
"Okay..." Hansol whispered. "Because, actually, I've been in love with you for forever." Seungkwan exhaled in relief and kissed him again.
"You're weird," he said into the kiss.
"You are too."
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Seungkwan never regretted the pregnancy, but God, was it exhausting.
The first trimester blessed him with no morning sickness, but the second one—which coincided with his move into Vernon's apartment, where that asshole, of course, had turned the office into a nursery, nearly driving the construction workers and designer to a nervous breakdown because they had to redo everything in two weeks—brought him constant heartburn. Because of it, Boo could neither eat nor drink without suffering afterward.
The older one's mom burst into tears when she found out about his pregnancy and told Hansol, while they were setting the table as his sisters bombarded his brother with questions about his condition and showered him with advice on how to handle the future Princess Chwe, that she had always known it would be him. Vernon smiled and replied that he had always hoped it would be him.
Otherwise, everything went smoothly. Almost perfectly.
Vernon was still weird. Seungkwan was still weird because he was Vernon’s boyfriend.