Chapter Text
March 6. 23:45.
In 15 minutes, her album it’s coming out.
She’s not nervous. She’s not!
Jennie Kim does not get nervous. She’s never been allowed the privilege. The princess of YG, was never allowed to get nervous. It’s not in her system.
“except when she…”
Jennie shakes her head.
“no. Not now. Not anymore.” She thinks. Jennie takes the bottle of soju off the table by her left, and drinks away the thought(s).
She’s in her apartment, back in Seoul.
Alone.
It’s been awhile since she’s been back home. With all the promotion surrounding her album, she’s been all over the place. Literally.
You would think that after pouring her blood, sweat, tears, and her entire heart and soul for the better part of last year in this album, she would be out, celebrating it.
Well, she’s not. Not for lack of trying by her friends. She’s been turning them down for hours. Excusing her way out of different parties.
“ I wanna listen to the album by myself at home.” she had tell Jisoo unnie, when the oldest had dropped by this morning, with some breakfast and way too much energy for JetLagged Jennie.
“ I just wanna rest and chill by myself, if that’s okay. “ she had texted Rosie.
They understood and didn't push her.
After so many years together, Jennie knew, if someone understood, they did.
( and if both of them didn't ever say out loud, what it was exactly they understood. Well, that was for them to know. )
So, here she is. In her old sweaters and an oversized hoodie, that was definitely not hers, waiting. For Ruby, to finally come out. To finally be free.
For her truth.
The one, she’s kept so tightly to her chest, since it happened.
The one she hasn’t dared to say out loud.
Not yet anyways.
For all of it to come out. So, no, Jennie’s not nervous.
(she’s terrified.)
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Jennie was 15 when she first met Lisa. So bright. So full of energy. She was like a vitamin. She was always laughing, always happy.
Jennie couldn't get enough of her.
(it stills hurts to think about how all that light, that once shone so bright on her eyes, slowly dimmed.)
She felt an instant connection to her.
Lisa was so good at what she did.
(to make Jennie break every single rule for her. Burn the world for her.)
And so she did. She broke the rules - the good girl, the Princess of Yg - for her.
(It was the best thing Jennie’s ever done.)
Ever since that sunny winter day, when she finally sat down on that table. Finally gathered the courage, she had been seeking for the better part of two days and said
“ Hi. I’m Jennie. And You?” She would never forget the way Lisa’s eyes snapped towards her, full of surprise. Meeting for the first time.
That day, something woke inside Jennie.
Ever since that day in the cafeteria, since that sunny winter day, they became insaparable. Soon, people started to notice. Whenever Jennie was, Lisa was there, holding her hand, laughing along to something. Dancing. Singing.Writing.
(later on, Chaeyoung and jisoo would also be there. But the hand that jennie always held, was Lisa’s)
Twins.
That’s what the other YG trainees had started calling them. Always together.
Just like twins.
-BING-
Jennie snapped out of her daydreaming when she heard the loud noise.
Her heart was pounding, and her eyes were moving frantically around the room trying to find the source of that horrible noise. Phone. It was her phone, dimly lit on the table by her left.
Her heart skipped a beat - Could it be…No. They hadn’t really spoken outside of group activities since..-
Jennie reached for the phone, cursing herself internally for the light shake of her hands and the stupid erratic beating of her heart.
Hope.
What a hurtful bitch.
It was her mom. Wishing her luck on her release day.
She let out a soft smile. Although they have not always seen eye to eye, and the road to becoming an idol has not always been easy. Here mom has always been a constant.
She was lucky to have her. As she unlocked her phone to text her mom back, she saw the time.
23:55.
Five minutes.
Her heart pounded softly against her chest.
“Maybe i’m a little nervous” she admitted to the quiet of her apartment as she fiddled with her phone in her left hand, as her right reached for the soju bottle and brought to her lips, just to realize, it was empty. She signed as she slowly rose from her sofa and walked softly to the kitchen, phone in hand, for another drink.
Her penthouse was softly lit by the light of the night of Seoul.
Jennie grabbed a glass of wine from the counter and poured herself some white wine as she texted back her mom.
엄마: Much luck tonight on the realease. Whatever happens tonight, I want you to know, I'm proud of you. Always. I love you.
Jennie: Thank you 엄마:. I love you.
As Jennie exited her chat with her mom, her fingers hesitated. Iching, to scroll down, to that chat. The one that lay with that last text she had sent, over a year ago.
Unanswered.
“i’m sorry”.
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Jennie was 25, and ten years in, when she broke Lisa’s heart.