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There was an eerie squeak of hinges as the office door closed behind Vi and she stepped out into the cold; the intrusion of rain evidently seeped in through the cracks of the aged wood and coated the rusty metal. The sound was ominous against the backdrop of silence, save the patter of raindrops and rustle of branches. It was foreboding, the squeak acting as a sort of bookend to her day – a sound that announced to the word that business was closed, that gloves had been hung up, that staff were on their way home.
Vi locked the handle before letting her hand rest on the wet brass. The color was mismatched with that of the hinges, yet both were scattered with the same hue of rust. Vi stared at it. She’d wanted to switch out the metal hardware but wasn’t able to get to it this week. Maybe tomorrow.
It was close to midnight. Vi hadn’t worked this late in a while, well… ever since she’d taken this job, at least. Today there were far too many headstones to polish, too many plots to dig. She ended up talking with some families too, which was not normally within her scope of work. It just ended up happening. The weight of the day rested heavy in Vi’s chest; made her soul weary, like it was something starved and skulking, searching for scraps.
“C’mon bud,” she said gently, looking down now at her companion, Jericho. Rottweiler puppy. “Let’s get to the car before you start to stink.” Too late, she thought, wrinkling her nose at the smell of wet dog that already began to permeate, despite the crisp open air of the night. It soon vanished when they began walking, Vi drying her hand on a denim-clad thigh. She pulled her olive-toned bomber jacket in a little tighter, popped the collar.
The cemetery was peaceful at night, despite the setting. Despite the corpses. No one ever really knew what actually lie beneath their feet when they walked around. What it really looked like. Even Vi could only guess, but she had a lot more time to think about it.
The daytime was peaceful too, but there was a different sort of somberness about it. The day was when families came to visit, leaving bouquets and taking pictures with children in front of the headstones of soon-to-be-forgotten grandparents, aunts, uncles… The day was when funeral services were held, priests chanting last rites and following solemn liturgy; was when muffled cries were captured within coat collars and handkerchiefs, concealing perhaps the volume but not the extent of their grief. In the beginning Vi would observe, would watch the families as they clung to each other and shared in their intimate goodbyes, but as time passed, so too did Vi’s interest. It faded away into the everyday, the mundane, the usual, as Vi trimmed hedges, mowed the grass, or picked up garbage. Nowadays, the mourning blended into the background of things that outlined Vi’s daily routine. The mourning was merely a facet of it all.
Vi quickly learned it was worth it to invest in noise-cancelling headphones.
The brisk wind bit at her face and she pulled her bomber farther up still, trying to warm her flustered cheeks. Luckily, the rain that fell was only a drizzle, little drops of cold spittle from the angels up above, looking down upon the human race with indifference. Fuck ‘em, Vi thought in response to the imagery. Higher beings always managed to think of ways to make her life more burdensome.
She walked down the cobblestone path past the mausoleum and through the cemetery on her way to the parking lot, but stopped when she caught sight of a figure, tall and lithe, hovering near a headstone some twenty feet away, the white light from a distant lamppost gleaming bright enough to reveal what little pale skin was visible.
The sight didn’t startle her per se, but she was vigilant; even Jericho’s haunches were raised. Vi didn’t even realize she had stopped in her tracks, staring, until the figure turned around.
“Oh!” it said, a bit of startle in its voice. Her voice. “Sorry. Do you work here?”
Vi registered the tone and instinctively breathed a sigh of relief. Likely not someone to cause any trouble. Vi wanted to go home, not get involved in some type of altercation.
“Yes,” Vi said back, taking initiative now to pull Jericho’s leash along to lead them closer toward the woman. “Yeah, I’ve locked up and am leaving for the night.”
“Is my visit overdue? It is quite late.”
Vi approached, taking a good long look at the woman. She donned an oatmeal London Fog trench coat, draping down astonishingly long, black trousered legs that buttoned high in the waist, the coat nearly reaching down past mid-calf. Her hair was dark and she had eyes of a dazzling blue, slight bags underneath them, and complexion like that of a noble, except her expression was much softer, reading as though she was wise beyond her years yet resonated with youthful luster. There was the scent of something pleasant and floral that wafted from her as soon as Vi was close, making her thoughts a little fuzzy.
“Mm, yeah, but I’m not gonna kick you out or anything,” Vi finally answered.
“Oh, well that’s good,” the woman answered, taking a moment to peer down at the ground between them. Vi took the opportunity to glance at the polished headstone the woman stood by.
Cassandra Kiramman
1970 – 2025
“I don’t normally encounter anyone when I visit,” the woman continued, looking back up at Vi, the motion snapping Vi’s prying eyes away from the headstone. “I promise, I’ll leave soon. In fact, I was just about ready to leave.”
Vi shook her head. “I’m not a stickler for that kind of thing. You can stay if you want.”
“Well, if there’s a rule, I should abide by it, too.” The woman brushed some droplets of rain off her jacket, buttoning up the top. “Do you get many troublemakers?”
Vi shrugged. “Not too much since I’ve been here. But I’ve been on the lookout for teenagers, with Halloween coming up and all.”
The woman nodded in understanding. “That makes sense. You’re new here then? I was wondering why I haven’t seen you before.”
“Yeah, I’m new still, I guess. Took over when old man Benzo passed.”
“Aw, Benzo,” the woman cooed with a crumpled face. “I was so sad when I heard.”
“You knew him?”
She nodded again. “I’d met him during my mother’s funeral,” she said, motioning back towards the headstone. “And seen him a couple of times around here. He also let me visit late at night.”
“Well, like I said, it’s alright by me.”
A soft smile. “Thanks.” She extended an arm. “I’m Caitlyn.”
Vi wrestled with the leash in her right hand, tucked away in her jacket pocket. She switched it to her left before extending her now open right, shaking Caitlyn’s hand. It felt warm and graceful. “Vi.”
“Lovely to meet you.” She turned her attention to the dog. “And who is this?” she asked behind an adoring smile.
“This is Jericho. He likes to join me at work.”
“How old is he?”
“Mm, seven months? Give or take a week.”
“How sweet. May I pet him? Do you have any rules?”
“Nah, you can pet him. He might jump up on you though – we’re still working on that. But he doesn’t bite.”
Caitlyn carefully held out the back of her hand towards Jericho’s nose, giving him the chance to sniff her before deciding on his next course of action – which was evidently to begin frantically licking and nibbling her, tail wagging a mile a minute.
Caitlyn laughed, the sound soft and echoey like church bells. “He’s charming. Reminds me of one of my own.”
“You have a Rottie?” Vi asked, her eyebrows darting upward in surprise.
Caitlyn shook her head. “No. Dobermans. I have two, a brother and sister pair – Archie and Duchess.” She sighed longingly. “They’re nearly six now. Seems like yesterday they were only pups.” She stared down fondly at Jericho as his tongue lolled out of his mouth jovially, raindrops splatting on his meaty head.
“You can bring them here, you know,” Vi brought up, accompanied by a shrug. “Not sure if you’d ever want to, but so long as they’re on leash and picked up after, feel free.” Vi jangled the chain leash she held that was attached to Jericho’s collar. “Plus, it would be great for Jericho to have more buddies to socialize with. I’d love to do more with him, but since he comes to work with me, there’s only so much I can do.”
To Vi’s surprise, Caitlyn beamed. “Oh, I’d love to. Perhaps I will, next time. They’re great with other dogs – puppies too – so I imagine they’ll meet and have a good romp.” Caitlyn turned her attention back to Jericho, kneeling down to face him when he immediately lunged forward and began licking her face.
“Jerry!” Vi shouted, instinctively jerking back on the leash, her heels digging in the softened grass, but he was adamant in his pursuit. Vi couldn’t really say she blamed him.
“It’s quite alright,” Caitlyn said in between giggles, petting his neck to get him to calm down some. “He’s just got a lot of love to give.”
“Yeah, love and saliva.”
Caitlyn stood, wiping her face. “Well, I suppose it’s rude of me to keep you standing in the rain. Shall I see you another time then? Under a more… desirable setting perhaps? At least during the daytime...”
Realization then seemed to dawn on Vi – that Caitlyn had been here to spend time with a deceased loved one. Coming this late at night likely meant she was feeling pretty torn up, or couldn’t sleep, or both. Visiting like this usually meant the utmost privacy was desired. “Oh God, yeah. I’m sorry. I never meant to intrude on you while you were visiting.” Vi glanced at Caitlyn’s eyes again, searching for redness. Found none.
A soft smile spread across Caitlyn’s lips. “Don’t worry. I’m not supposed to be here anyway. And besides, I’m thankful for it, really. You’ve provided a greatly needed distraction.” Caitlyn averted her gaze but maintained her smile.
Vi relaxed. “Oh, well… good. That’s good.”
Caitlyn nodded, tucking her hands now in her jacket pockets. “I’ll see you around?”
“Yeah. See you.” Vi smiled, raising her free hand in a brisk wave, and Caitlyn departed, her figure moving silently in the rain.
Vi stood there until Caitlyn left, the sound of her car engine driving away and fading in the distance. Vi sighed. Endorphins were running – likely due to the lack of sleep, but could be because Vi hadn’t had a normal, positive conversation with someone new in what felt like forever. Everything was either work related or meaningless small talk.
She glanced at Jericho who looked back at her. “Let’s go, bud.”
They walked out the same way Caitlyn left, Vi closing the waist-high, wrought-iron gate on her way out, the feeling of cold metal against her palm a stark reminder of reality setting in; an early workday tomorrow. Rinse and repeat.
--
Vi got home about ten minutes later – one perk about living so close to the cemetery. She let Jericho out in the grass before heading up to her apartment, finally letting him off leash once she closed and bolted the door. While he padded off down the hall to loudly get a drink at his water dish, Vi yawned, tousling her still-damp hair with a hand as she made her way in the dark towards the kitchen, too busy today to have gotten dinner at a reasonable time. She took out a tv dinner from the freezer, rolling her eyes when the fridge began its usual creaking and groaning sounds. She removed the dinner from the cardboard and grabbed a fork from the drawer to poke some holes in the film before tossing it in the microwave. After waiting the allotted minutes for it to heat and prying the dented-up tv remote out of Jericho’s curious puppy jaws, she settled down at the couch to quickly eat before going to bed. And wake up at five-thirty, to do it all over again.
But today was different after all, Vi thought. Sometimes it was easy to forget interesting people existed. That life existed outside of work. Sometimes she forgot she deliberately made it this way for a reason. She tried to determine if that had been the right choice.
The thought lingered with her for a while until she succumbed to a blissfully dreamless sleep.
--
Vi saw Caitlyn again about two weeks later.
She was at the same gravestone, and Vi had spotted the familiar silhouette of Caitlyn from a distance while she bagged up leaves – a useless and unending task. Why not let the leaves gather, let them join their fallen friends and decompose, joining the soil that housed the caskets and the worms?
Vi had a lot of thinking time on her hands. And she was here to get a paycheck, not argue philosophy. So needless to say, she was grateful when she laid eyes on the visitor who frequented at midnight.
When Caitlyn spotted Vi and waved in her direction, Vi left her work where it was, called Jericho to follow at her side to leash him up, and she made her way over.
“Hello,” Caitlyn mused with a small smile. This time all her features were visible, brightened by the clarity of day rather than illuminated only by moonlight. She was radiant.
“Hey.”
“I didn’t bring the dogs,” Caitlyn said.
“So I noticed.” Vi smiled.
“I actually came by to ask if you wanted to take a stroll in the park sometime? With our dogs? Might be better for them to get acquainted that way rather than while you’re working.”
Vi was quiet, taken aback by the question.
“That is,” Caitlyn interjected, “if you have the time. I understand you must be busy and I’m not sure what your schedule allows.”
“Oh, no, I just wasn’t expecting the offer to be honest,” Vi said. “Yeah, that sounds like fun. Would be good for him,” Vi said, jostling the leash. “Um, I’m free tomorrow, actually. Does that work?”
Caitlyn nodded, holding her hand out for Jericho to lick her. “Make sure to bring some treats along.” Then, to Jericho, “we’ll get you nice and trained up, yeah?” She grinned, scratching behind his ear.
The next morning, Vi met Caitlyn at a park that was markedly close to the cemetery. Vi had seen it many times before, driving past it on her way to work, but never had any reason to go; on her days off she caught up on sleep, worked out, and attempted some training with Jericho in her apartment, but now that he was older and she had the invite, there was no reason to say no.
It was about time she did something out of her routine.
“Oh, lookie here!” Vi said as she admired the two Dobermans perched on the ground, one on either side of Caitlyn as she sat at a bench. Vi held tightly onto Jericho’s leash, feeling him tug with anticipation.
Caitlyn laughed, gentle like blooming boughs swaying in a spring breeze. “Good morning!” she greeted as Jericho began his usual jumping and pulling charade, Vi holding back on his insistent tugging with a firm grab of his leash. Caitlyn’s dogs scarcely moved an inch, sitting like statues.
“Well look at your crew,” Vi complimented.
“Lots of training,” was all Caitlyn said in response. She rose, and again, her dogs remained still. “I can help you with his pulling.”
Vi nodded in acceptance as he continued his bounding, Vi maintaining a few feet of distance from Catilyn and her dogs. “Yes, please. If I could get him to be half as calm as your dogs, I’d be grateful.”
Caitlyn chuckled. “Oh good, you’ve got treats.” She took one step closer, Jericho straining. “Does he know how to sit?”
“Oh yeah,” Vi said, “he just, forgets when he’s excited.”
Caitlyn nodded. “And he’s still a puppy; he’ll be excitable for a while. But it is good to get this nailed down now while he’s relatively smaller. Could you ask him to sit?”
“Jerry, sit!” Vi said in a stern voice. She may as well have been a leaf in the wind.
“Okay. Get a treat out to grab his attention?”
Vi reached into her pouch, grabbing one. “Jerry, look!” She waved it near his face, and he turned towards her after closing his slobbering mouth. He followed her with a quivering nose.
“Now ask to sit.”
“Jerry, sit.”
He sat.
“Good boy!” Crunch, crunch, crunch.
“Good!” Caitlyn encouraged with a smile. And as soon as she spoke and Jericho finished eating, he once again turned towards her to begin his pursuit. “So, we’ll do that again, yeah? Do it a few times until he pays attention to you and calms down some.”
“Okay, got it,” Vi said, getting another treat.
They kept up this training until they hit a rhythm, and Jericho’s lunges slowed to a halt, eventually sitting next to Vi while he kept his attention on Caitlyn and the other two dogs, panting and most of the nervous energy expelled.
“Okay, I think we’re good to let them meet now,” Caitlyn said, meeting Vi’s gaze for permission first, and after Vi granted her a nod, Caitlyn whistled sharply, and her dogs immediately came to her side like shadows.
“Whoa,” Vi ushered, impressed.
“We’ll slowly have them sniff each other,” Caitlyn explained, “and see how that goes. Reward Jericho if he’s calm.”
“Got it.”
In a clear, clipped voice, Caitlyn said, “Release.”
As soon as the last utterance of the word was spoken, her dogs rose from their haunches and slowly trotted over to Jericho, who lunged once again.
“Sit,” Caitlyn and Vi said simultaneously, Caitlyn’s dogs obeying immediately in contrast to Jericho, who continued to hop in excitement. Vi got a treat and they repeated the same exercise until Jericho remained sitting. Eventually, Caitlyn’s dogs were able to approach him and they sniffed each other curiously, without Jericho’s frequent bounding. They continued the meetings, Caitlyn calling her dogs back to reset the interaction before allowing them to greet again.
“What are you, some kind of dog whisperer?” Vi asked, only half-joking.
Caitlyn shrugged nonchalantly as she kneeled next to one of her dogs, scratching behind its ear. “My parents owned a dog training company.”
Vi paused, knowing she heard Caitlyn correctly, yet elected to still respond with, “Wait, what?”
“What?”
“You can’t just, drop that on me,” Vi laughed briskly.
“And why not?” Caitlyn asked, a smile teasing at the corners of her mouth.
Vi shook her head in disbelief, but her grin lightened the tone. “This whole time I thought you were just like, I don’t know. Someone who had dogs. Not someone who trained dogs professionally. If I’d had known that I probably would have treated this encounter a bit differently.”
“Well, my apologies for being disingenuous,” Caitlyn said as she stood. “It’s not something I typically share.”
There was something there, something nagging in Caitlyn’s voice that Vi managed to catch. “Oh. Yeah, no worries. I was mainly joking.”
“Would you care to go to the dog run? See how he does off leash?” Caitlyn suggested.
Vi huffed a short breath from her nostrils as she imagined how magnificently well Jericho was bound to fail at obeying any commands when off leash. “Yeah, we can see. He can’t recall for shit as it is.”
Caitlyn’s smile returned. “Well, that’s why I’m here, right?”
--
Vi adjusted the beanie on her head, sweeping a lock of stray hair underneath it before she began again. The day was dreary; a cool breeze bordering on cold gusted through the air, flushing her exposed cheeks and nose. With fingerless gloves, she operated the backhoe, digging up the allotted graves for the day ahead. Loris gave her some direction before heading off to do some more maintenance work around the grounds in preparation for the scheduled funeral services.
Vi felt her phone buzz in one of her cargo pockets; frankly, an unfamiliar sensation. She finished tampening down a bit of dirt before stalling, taking out her phone.
Caitlyn: There is a dog-friendly coffee shop downtown. I think it would be great for Jericho
Caitlyn: Care to join me on your next day off?
Vi smiled unconsciously before dropping it, looking up to make sure Loris wasn’t near. He could be a nosey fucker when he wanted to be. She looked back down at the phone and began typing.
Vi: sounds dope. im free Thursday if that works for u
Caitlyn: It does! See you there at say, 11?
Vi replied with a thumbs up, and Caitlyn sent the address.
Vi finished out the harder labor for the day, taking a break in the office when the funeral director showed up to take over for the first service. She met a happy Jericho in the office, him rising from his dog bed under the desk to greet her with a thousand greedy licks. Loris came in to join her shortly after.
“Plots dug?” he asked gravely.
“Yep. All six.”
He nodded, gruffing a dramatic sigh when he sat down in his usual chair, rubbing his dry palms together for warmth.
“I wanted to make sure,” Vi said after a moment of silence, “you’re working Thursday right? I’m off?”
Loris nodded again, assessing her. “Been askin’ about days off lately. You got a boyfriend or somethin’?”
They made eye contact, Vi only slightly feigning a look of disgust before Loris let out a brief, booming laugh, Vi chuckling.
“No. Meeting a… friend, I guess. She trains dogs.”
“Oh,” Loris said attentively, “getting little Jerry boy here trained up, eh?”
Vi nodded. “Yeah, she’s really good with dogs. Would love for him to listen to me better and be well-trained by the time he’s an adult.”
“You’ve really taken a liking to him, ay? I didn’t expect you to actually keep the dog.”
Vi exhaled deeply from her nostrils. “I didn’t either. But I think we’ve grown on each other.”
“Such a shame about Benzo,” Loris tsked. “But he’d be thankful you’re doing so much for Jerry.”
Vi nodded in acknowledgement. “Anything I can do right by Benzo, I will.”
Loris assessed Vi, watching as she scratched Jericho, ruffling his face, his ears flopping around. “Your old man would be proud of you, you know that?”
The comment seemed to catch Vi off guard. She didn’t let it falter her, continuing to admire Jericho while she pet him. “Yeah,” she answered stiffly, trying to figure out if she meant it.
--
Vi couldn’t remember the last time she stepped foot in a coffee shop, which was surprising, considering her veins were essentially straight espresso at this point. However this shop was in an area of town she hardly frequented, closer to the ritzier neighborhoods. She appreciated being able to park in a parking lot rather than hunt around in her car for quarters for the meter.
She entered the cafe, overwhelmed by the nutty aroma of hazelnut and fresh grounds. Caitlyn was already there, perched at a corner table with Archie and Duchess on leashes. There were three other customers present – two older ladies, one with a toy poodle and another with some type of chihuahua mix in their purses, and a man with a large malamute, chatting with one of the employees who was reaching down to pet it.
Vi greeted Caitlyn with a smile before repeating once again the exercise with Jericho – praising and rewarding when he listened to Vi, inching closer and closer to the other two dogs – until eventually Vi was able to sit at the table.
“He’s getting much better already,” Caitlyn commented.
“Thanks to you,” Vi said. “Thanks also for the invite, and for getting me out of the house. All of this has been really good for him.” And for me, she thought, but didn’t say.
“Absolutely,” Caitlyn agreed. “The more exposure to new experiences and people, the better he’ll be.” She took a sip from her coffee, a latte, from the looks of it, before adding, “You’ll have a well-trained pup in no time.”
“Looking forward to it,” Vi said genuinely.
“I would have ordered you a drink, but I’m afraid I’m not quite sure what you like,” Caitlyn said, changing the subject.
“Oh,” Vi said, turning to look towards the menu posted on the large chalkboard above the counter, “I drink anything, really. Don’t have a go-to order. Thanks for offering though.”
“Don’t mention it.”
“I’ll go get something.”
“Sure.”
Vi made her way up to the counter, Jericho following. She ordered a large macchiato, then was invited to have Jerry meet the malamute. She informed the man that Jerry was still learning, and again, repeated the meeting procedure she was very used to at this point. Eventually, by the time her drink was ready, Jericho and the other dog were happily sniffing each other’s rear ends – a successful encounter. Vi thanked the man, collected her drink, and returned to the table with Caitlyn, who was watching the ordeal unfold with careful, steady eyes, eyes the color of a clear, foreign sea, Vi thought – a sea she often found herself drowning in.
“Mm, this is good,” Vi said with approval after taking a sip. She shrugged off her heavy fur-lined jean jacket and carefully draped it over the back of the chair behind her, leaving her in her flannel.
Caitlyn tracked her movements with steady eyes. “Yes, I really quite like this place. Although I don’t come that often.”
“Why not?” Vi asked.
Caitlyn shrugged. “It can get tiresome going to so many places alone. Sometimes all I want to do is stay home.”
Vi nodded, taking another sip. “I get that. All I do is work, so when I have a day off all I want to do is sleep.” She laughed.
Caitlyn hummed thoughtfully. “Well, I hope I didn’t disrupt your usual schedule by inviting you here.”
“What? No no, you didn’t,” Vi said. “I like going out. It’s just a matter of finding someone to do things with, I think.”
Caitlyn nodded in agreement. “Precisely.”
Shared silence. A few more sips of drinks and scratches of their dogs’ ears. There was the occasional jingling of the bell attached to the front door when someone new entered or someone known had left. Mild background chatter discussing dogs melded into the background, mixing with easygoing music that played on the speakers overhead.
“So, forgive my question,” Caitlyn said, breaking the calm, “but how did you get your job? Seems a bit, I don’t know, daunting, perhaps.”
Vi licked her lips, wiping away a small line of foam from her upper lip. “Benzo um… was my dad’s friend. I’ve known him since I was a kid.”
Caitlyn’s face fell. “Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that.”
Vi waved in dismissal, “Thanks. It’s fine.” She said, “when I heard about what happened to him, I went to his funeral at the cemetery. Obviously, they needed someone additional to work with him gone, so I applied, sick of my old job. It was easy enough to get hired – not many people chomping at the bit. Plus, I was working in landscaping before. They basically hired me on the spot.” Vi smiled fondly at the memory, Loris’ eyes bulging in excitement when Vi had told him she already knew how to operate a backhoe.
“Do you like it?”
Vi considered Caitlyn’s question. “Believe it or not, I really do,” she answered. “It sucks working outside sometimes, especially now that it’s cold and windy, or if there’s an unexpected long day, but it’s nice. Peaceful.”
Caitlyn hummed again, wrapped up in Vi’s every word. “I can see that. Although you didn’t look particularly pleased the other day when you were bagging leaves.”
Vi chuckled. “Yeah well, while peaceful it can be boring too.”
“Do you listen to music while you work? Podcasts?”
“Oh yeah,” Vi said enthusiastically. “I couldn’t imagine doing all the shit I do without music. I would probably go insane.”
“And who’s to say you haven’t already?” Caitlyn questioned coyly, biting gently at her bottom lip as she lifted her mug to take a sip of her latte.
Vi couldn’t help the warmness that tickled her cheeks. The banter was... nice. Nicer than whatever she and Loris partook in at work, hurling insults at each other like he was an irritating brother. That was nice in its own regard she had to admit, but something about this with Caitlyn was different. Charged.
“You know, I ask myself that every morning,” Vi answered.
“Apologies if you get asked this a lot, but I’m curious. Does it, bother you at all? Working with so many… dead people?”
Vi thought of a response quickly. “It’s not so bad. They don’t usually have many complaints. They’re a quiet bunch.” It was a typical comment Loris or her would make towards each other, but the punchline always fell flat. It was new talking this way with someone else for a change.
Caitlyn made a small, shocked noise before chuckling. “You know what I meant,” she chastised.
Vi smiled before regarding the question seriously. “People always assume it’s bothersome or scary, but it’s not. I don’t even think about it. The actual work I mean,” Vi said, letting her hand drift down so she could scratch behind Jericho’s ear. “It’s sad sometimes. But mostly it’s peaceful.”
“I quite seem to agree.”
Made sense, since Caitlyn seemed to be a frequent visitor. It was funny to think of Caitlyn frequenting the cemetery at night, in contrast to Vi, who was there during the day. It was like one of them was a ghost, their presence overlapping in the same location but in different dimensions. Vi wondered which one of them was the ghost.
“So what about you?” Vi inquired, the lilt in her tone indicating a change in topic. She thought about how well put-together Caitlyn was, how she always wore expensive coats and cashmere sweaters – like the one she donned now, the soft fabric clinging to her figure – and how she always seemed to be available when Vi had days off. “What do you do?”
Caitlyn sunk back a bit in her seat. Vi hoped she didn’t prod in a touchy area. “Well, if you call mooching off my parents’ savings from said defunct dog training business, then that’s what I do.” She stared at her drink, fingers absentmindedly flicking at the ceramic.
A stab of envy prickled in Vi’s stomach, thinking of overdue phone bills, bargain shopping, and dirt-caked nails. She shoved the feeling down and opted for a more lighthearted response. “Still figuring it out then?”
“Something like that.”
Vi was at a loss for words, the difference between their living-situations now palpable.
“Sorry,” Caitlyn said, picking up on the shift in vibe. “I don’t mean to be crass. I just… feel guilty about it, I suppose.”
“We all have our reasons.”
“Hm.”
The mood was lifted again when the elderly women walked toward the exit, but instead came over to greet their dogs, squealing with delight when they saw Jericho. They pet him excitedly, with Vi’s permission, and when the women left Vi and Caitlyn’s smiles remained. They continued to talk about dogs and didn’t drift towards personal questions again.
After coffee, they stepped outside into the chill air. Vi shivered instinctually.
“Cold, isn’t it?” Caitlyn commented.
“I’ll say,” Vi said. “It’s never been this cold this early in the season before.”
Caitlyn nodded, hugging her coat in tightly. “I know. It’s quite odd. Makes for walking the dogs more of a challenge.”
“Yeah,” Vi agreed. “Especially when you live in an apartment and your puppy needs to go outside every hour still, only to realize he lied to you and just wants to eat dirt.”
Caitlyn laughed. “You’ll miss this stage. Trust me.”
“Oh, I know I will,” Vi said. They continued to stand around under the awning of the coffee shop entrance, neither of them willing to end the conversation and break away.
Vi glanced at the posters taped up in the coffee shop window. There were announcements for costume parades, flyers advertising trunk-or-treats hosted in church parking lots, and other seasonal notices.
“Hey, I wanted to ask,” Vi found herself saying, “do you have any Halloween plans?”
Caitlyn seemed surprised by the question. “No, I don’t. Why do you ask?”
“Turns out I don’t work that day. Just wanted to know if you wanted to hang out? With the dogs?” Vi added. “Maybe you can come over to my place and we can do some more training with him – want him to get used to visitors stopping by. But we could hang, watch a scary movie and have some candy or something.”
What the fuck was that, Vi? Have some candy? Christ…
“Do you get many trick-or-treaters?”
“Mm, no actually. Not too many kids in my apartment. But…” Vi shrugged. “I don’t need that excuse for some candy.”
Caitlyn’s smile grew, and Vi admired the slight gap between her front teeth. “Sure. I’d like that.”
“Cool. I’ll uh, text you the address.”
“Sounds perfect.”
--
Vi held the trash picker in one gloved hand, a large, black plastic bag in the other, eyes scouring the grounds for trash – gum wrappers, cigarette butts, and the like.
When the plots were properly cleaned, she moved to the mausoleum – a quaint, marble sculpture whose interior was partially exposed to the outdoors, columns of white outlining the exterior perimeter. It was covered overhead with ornately designed angles for its roof and capped with a beautiful dome.
Due to the influx of rain in recent weeks, the dome and columns were mottled with spongey moss. It would need to be powerwashed, but Vi decided she wouldn’t go out of her way to do it; the moss added a sort of antiqueness to the monument, a sort of reverence.
Vi wasn’t religious, yet the mausoleum was one of her favorite places on the lot, the statue of Janna visible on the inside from across the field. Vi stood at the base of the mausoleum, using her foot to sweep away the inundation of leaves - the color of dragon’s fire – once crunchy but made limp and sopping by the rain. She used the trash picker to remove a few pieces of debris that collected amongst them, then proceeded to do the same heading her way into the mausoleum.
It was always so calm within the sculpture. Oftentimes, when there wasn’t much work to do on the grounds, Vi would find herself meandering inside to sit at the base of the Janna statue, peering out between the columns like a cat at a window, the outside world her entertainment.
She looked up at Janna, at the stoic, hard-set eyes the sculptor had chosen to gift her with, adored the natural beauty of her features, her wild hair that wispfully rose in the air and arms raised in a stance of ethereal power, as if casting a spell of protection on those around her. There was strength in it, Vi thought, power and dignity wrapped up in a divine figure of womanly beauty.
But today, Vi’s heart sank when she looked upon the statue.
Vi remembered the stories her father would share with her and her sister. The old tales of Janna, protector of the meek, of the poor, of the dispossessed. As Vi aged and saw more of the world, and as her father died and her relationship with her sister grew strained, she found herself never thinking about religion. Never paying it any mind. A lot of it was a load of crap, anyhow, but she still was fond of those stories.
So when she saw the fresh graffiti marking up the statue, she was filled with both disappointment and pity, the hope she once felt at having a small respite in the middle of her day, deflated suddenly like a balloon set to release.
Someone had spray painted all over it – a very crude display of black circles had outlined her breasts, with single painted dots in the centers of them, as if to turn the accurate and modest depiction of the goddess’s breasts into comically enlarged tits. At the base of the sculpture, WHORE was spelled out in sloppy, bold letters.
Vi dropped her shoulders. This would require some power washing. She grabbed her walkie-talkie from her belt loop and signaled for Loris.
“Yeah?” came his crackly voice on the other end.
“Someone vandalized the statue,” Vi said.
“Of Janna?”
“Yeah. Spray paint.”
“Ugh,” Loris groaned. Vi could hear the rough sound of Loris wiping his palm across his face. “I’ll call the contractor.”
“Got it. Over.”
Vi toggled it off and hung it back on her belt, looked back at the statue, and sighed. She supposed some teenagers must have done it last night – it was frankly the only explanation. Irritating that they didn’t have cameras in the area.
It honestly wasn’t the worst thing to happen. Kids were gonna be kids, as annoying as that was. She had been one too. A stupid one. So she wasn’t sure why seeing the statue upset her so much. Graffiti happened. It was a pain in the ass to clean, but it was a part of her job, just like every other.
No, there was another layer to it all – besides the disrespect, besides the misogynistic joke. Something about it that gnawed at Vi from the inside.
It took her a moment to realize it made her stomach churn because it felt like a stain on her childhood. Like a stain on…
She stared at it in defeat for a few more moments before she resumed collecting debris, filling the bag before taking it out with the others to be collected.
--
On Halloween morning, Vi had spent an inordinate amount of time cleaning her small apartment.
She started by doing the crusty dishes that accumulated in the sink, both emptying and refilling the dishwasher. Then she swept up the incredible amount of dog hair and dirt from her floors, scooping it into a dustpan, before dusting the various surfaces of her tables, cabinets, frowning when clumps of dust fell to the floor. Should she have done this part prior to sweeping? Maybe.
Jericho gnawed on a toy bone while sprawled out on the floor, occasionally peeking up to watch Vi perform a task, much like an astute pupil watching the instructions of their teacher.
She made sure the bathrooms were tidy before Febreezing the whole place. Then and only then, did she take a shower.
Caitlyn arrived shortly after Vi finished drying her hair. She opened the door to reveal Caitlyn holding a plate of cookies and bottle of wine, Archie and Duchess practically attached at her hip.
“Welcome. Come in, come in,” Vi greeted, holding the door open for the three to trod inside.
“Thank you.”
“You can just set that on the counter there,” Vi said, and Caitlyn put down the bottle. “You didn’t have to bring anything,” she added.
“Yes, we’ll I’m a guest and you’ve invited me into your home, along with my two mongrels,” Caitlyn explained. “It would be rude to show up empty-handed.”
Jericho came padding in then from the bedroom to greet his new friends.
Vi assessed the stoic nature of Archie and Duchess, sitting alert and respectful, and contrasted their behavior with Jericho’s boisterous, slobbery self. “You can take their leashes off.”
“Are you sure?”
Vi nodded. “If I trust any dog on the planet to be off leash in my apartment, trust me, it’s yours,” she said, flashing a smile.
Caitlyn laughed, reaching down to free her two dogs while they playfully joined Jericho to sniff each other in the kitchen.
“So,” Caitlyn said with a hearty breath as she stood back upright, “what’s on your agenda for tonight?”
“I’m glad you asked,” Vi teased. “I figured we could order in a pizza, have some candy, and a drink? If you’re up for that? Which apparently you are considering…” Vi nodded towards the bottle of wine. “And maybe watch a scary movie? Which, I should have asked… Do you even like scary stuff?”
Caitlyn bobbed her head affirmatively with each option Vi presented. “I do watch movies, yes. I’ve seen some horror films on occasion. I’m certainly not opposed to your proposition.”
“Perfect.”
--
Why her? Why this girl? the priest on the television asked the other.
I think the point is to make us despair. To see ourselves as… animal and ugly. To make us reject the possibility that God could love us.
Vi was only half-watching, her attention attuned to her peripheral vision to see if the other woman had yet to leave in disgust. Vi had never cringed more before in her entire adult life.
She recalled seeing this movie before, saw the title pop up when scrolling through the options on her streaming service the other day, and thought it would be a good option. She remembered watching parts of it when she was a kid, she and Powder looking for the scariest, most R-rated film to sneak glimpses of on a portable DVD player they had access to. She remembered the split pea soup. She did not remember… other scenes…
Repeatedly Vi had asked Caitlyn if she’d rather watch something else, but she denied, her eyes glued to the screen. They ate their pizza, nibbled on candy, and sipped at wine, waiting for trick-or-treaters that never showed while their dogs napped and chewed on toys peacefully, the darkening night quickly overtaking Vi’s small living room as the evening progressed; she hadn’t turned any lights on to add to the spookiness, silhouettes of the Dobermans’ ears flickering against the far wall from the reflection of the TV while they watched.
As the movie drew to a close, they were finishing up their glasses of wine and began to talk.
“I’m not much of a wine drinker,” Vi said, swirling the remnants of red at the bottom of her glass, watching it streak maroon across the surface, “but this was good.”
“I’m glad you enjoyed it,” Caitlyn said. “My father was an avid wine drinker. Would go to tastings all the time, picked up special reserves from well-known wineries. I suppose I picked up a bit on his habit.”
Vi made a small sound of approval. Dared to ask a question. Went for it. “When did um, when did he… pass?”
“My father? Oh, he’s still alive. Sorry, I must have misspoken. He just lives far away now. After Mother…”
Vi nodded, not needing any more explanation. “No need to get into it, I guess I was just curious.” A moment of silence before Vi continued. She fidgeted with the stem of her wine glass. “Both my parents died when I was young. It was a long time ago; I don’t even think my little sister remembers them.” Caitlyn’s face fell while Vi smiled fondly, remembering good times.
“I’m so sorry,” Caitlyn said. “You seem to have been around a lot of death.” She must have recalled Benzo as well, from one of their previous conversations.
Vi wanted to share more for some reason. It was as if she really wanted Caitlyn to know more about her life. “And that doesn’t even cover all of it.” Caitlyn frowned further, her forehead creased with concern. Maybe it was too soon for all this. “But I won’t get into all that now. We can talk about something nicer. Sorry I got us into this conversation.” Vi raked a hand through her hair. It was for the best anyway, her chest panged with those uncomfortable feelings again.
“No, it’s okay,” Caitlyn said placatingly. “It can be good to talk about it sometimes.” She drained the remainder of her glass before carefully placing it on Vi’s coffee table. “I’ve spent so much time alone these past months, I think it’s gotten to me. So… it’s nice to talk.”
So maybe they had more in common than Vi thought after all. “You can always keep me company at work,” Vi offered, “that is, if you want to spend extra time at a cemetery. I wouldn’t mind.”
Caitlyn gave a small smile. “You’re sweet.” Then, “Maybe it would do me good to visit more in the daytime anyway. May be healthier.”
“I think you secretly like people thinking you’re a vampire,” Vi teased. “All tall and mysterious, wandering around a graveyard in the dark.”
Caitlyn snorted a gentle laugh. “A vampire? And who’s the one with sharp canines? The one who actually works at said graveyard?” she accused.
Vi grinned, running her tongue along her top teeth, as if cunningly proving Caitlyn’s point. “Guess you’ll have to find out, huh?”
The two laughed softly, Vi admiring Caitlyn’s eyes in the glow of the TV, the credits finishing out their scroll.
The prolonged silence seemed to wake them of their stupor.
“Well, I suppose I should get going.”
“Are you sure?” Vi asked, some small part in the back of her brain wondering why she was asking.
“Mm,” Caitlyn considered, looking like she was torn between questions she wanted to ask, “yes, I should. I don’t want to intrude. It’s getting late, and I’ve had some wine, and wine tends to make me sleepy.”
“Wouldn’t it be a bad idea to drive then?” Vi asked genuinely.
Caitlyn hummed again, shrugging.
“I’m totally fine with you staying,” Vi said, “as long as you’re good with me getting up early for work in the morning.”
Caitlyn’s brows shot up but a fraction, for only a second. “Really? That’s very nice of you to offer, Vi. But I really should be getting home. I have the dogs and—”
“Oh, the dogs are fine,” Vi said, waving dismissively in their direction. “If you want to stay, you can stay. It’s Halloween anyway – even if you felt fine to drive, there are probably some crazy people out there.”
Vi held her breath, simultaneously wondering when she started to sound like an overprotective mother.
“Well, if you truly don’t mind…”
After letting the dogs out a final time, then arguing with each other over who was sleeping in Vi’s bed or on the couch – Caitlyn absolutely insisting that she sleep on the couch since she’s the guest, even though Vi argued her feet would be dangling off the edge – Vi gathered some blankets and pillows for Caitlyn to use and a hoodie to sleep in before heading into her own room to get ready for bed.
As Vi lay in bed, she mentally cursed herself for squandering the evening. Although Caitlyn looked to be enjoying herself, Vi assumed she was simply good at putting on a pleasant face. Vi realized that while she’d been cleaning earlier, she curated imaginary scenarios of deliberately choosing a spooky movie, Caitlyn scootching in closer on the couch, close enough for Vi to smell her perfume again. As Vi assessed her actions from the evening, she immediately felt her face flush while she lay alone in the dark.
Her selfish intentions failed anyway; they each sat upright, feet flat on the floor, asses on their own respective cushions for nearly the entirety of the film. Vi knew she fucked up. Ruined the mood.
Caitlyn even admitted to feeling lonely, and here Vi was, being a perv instead of acting like a friend.
While she lay in bed, scrubbing her face with her hands, there was a gentle knock on her door that nearly made her jump out of her skin.
“Vi?” came a clear, recognizable voice, slightly muffled through the wood.
“Yeah? You can open the door.”
The door squeaked open an inch. “I’m terribly sorry… I don’t mean to bother you. But there’s… a rapping noise in your apartment.”
Vi’s brows were knitted in confusion as she sat up in bed, weight planted on the heels of her palms. Then recognition spread through her. “Oh… That’s my fridge. Yeah sorry, it randomly makes a weird noise.”
“Oh,” Caitlyn responded, not sounding fully relieved.
“Is that… okay? Would you rather sleep in here?”
“I—I hate to be a bother—”
“Oh, get in here.”
Caitlyn shuffled inside, shutting the door quietly behind her before climbing into the bed and pulling the covers over herself.
“Where are you going?” she asked, as Vi scooted out of bed.
“The living room,” Vi responded, her statement sounding like a question. She assumed it only right to give Caitlyn the bed to herself. But truth be told, she didn’t know how any of this worked.
How any of what worked?
“Well,” Caitlyn said, almost sheepishly, “You don’t have to. I—I hate to admit this but, I am in fact a bit spooked.”
“Oh.”
Slowly, Vi lifted the covers and got back in bed.
Silence. The occasional rustle of sheets when one of them moved.
“Thank you,” Caitlyn whispered.
“Yeah.”
It took Vi a bit longer than usual to fall asleep.
The next morning, Vi awoke when it was still dark. She glanced over at Caitlyn who was sleeping peacefully, the covers pulled up over her shoulder and her dark hair fanned out on the pillow. Vi gave a half smile before carefully getting out of bed, trying not to wake her. She padded to the kitchen to brew a pot of fresh coffee so some would be available whenever Caitlyn got up. Vi collected the three dogs and leashed them up, taking them outside to potty. When she returned, she stealthily slid into the bathroom to brush her teeth and shower, but when she returned to her bedroom to get ready to leave, she found her bed empty.
In fact, the bed was made, and her hoodie, folded nicely and placed at the foot.
Vi arched an eyebrow as she went out to the main living area, no trace of Archie and Duchess as Jericho laid on the couch, his ears down. Caitlyn’s shoes were also gone. The coffeepot, untouched.
Vi sauntered back to the bedroom. Picked up the hoodie. Opened it up and inhaled deeply, pressing the soft downy part of the inside collar against her nose. It smelled like candy and the spritely flowers of the graveyard.
--
Vi should have known Halloween wouldn’t be the last time she’d be able to hang out with Caitlyn.
On her next day off, she met her again at the dog park, with instructions to work on Jericho’s recall off-leash some more. Vi packed up the treats and Jericho and eagerly drove to the park.
Soon enough, they’d been working with him for nearly an hour, and his recall was fairly good. Not overly reliable, but much better than it was before, him typically electing to dart away as soon as he felt the leash was disconnected. He at least listened when Vi had treats in her hand, which was more than she could say even yesterday.
“We’re probably working him too much,” Caitlyn said. “He’s tired.”
And he was. He plopped down on the dead grass, tongue lolling as he tried to catch his breath. He was constantly running back and forth from Caitlyn to Vi, Caitlyn to Vi.
“Yeah,” Vi agreed. “We can let him rest for a bit.” She looked at Archie and Duchess, and curiosity sparked. “What about your dogs?”
“Hm? What about them?”
“What can they do? I would think you’ve trained them to do a lot of tricks, especially with how well behaved they are.”
A smile tugged at Caitlyn’s lips. “You want to see what they can do?” It sounded like a challenge.
“Yeah.”
Caitlyn nodded, then moved to unleash each of them. She handed the leashes to Vi, who stood to the side while the dogs gathered together at Caitlyn’s direction.
Then, in her dog training voice, clear and commanding, Caitlyn ordered the dogs. “Archie! Prance!”
She ordered him with a palm held out flat at her side and began walking, him glued to her hip. The direction she walked dictated where they went, and he happily complied, prancing his legs up high like a show pony.
“Good boy,” she said, allowing him to sit to the side, then, “Duchess! Come.” Duchess jogged over to Caitlyn’s side. “Weave!”
Now, Caitlyn walked forward with large steps with Duchess trailing behind. As instructed, the dog wove in between Caitlyn’s legs with each step, moving in a zigzag pattern as if Caitlyn’s legs themselves were weave poles.
Caitlyn and her dogs held Vi with rapt attention, and even a few other guests at the park were transfixed by the display of masterful obedience.
When Caitlyn was finished with the weave act, she directed both dogs to sit and listen to instruction. They sat on either side of her, about five feet away on each side, facing each other with Caitlyn standing in the middle.
“Vault!” she commanded, simultaneously bending sharply at her waist so her torso was approaching parallel with the ground, and both dogs immediately ran and leapt over her body, passing each other in the jump and each landing on the opposite side where they began. Her torso rose after they leapt, but she immediately ordered them again, bending back down. “Vault!” she repeated, and the dogs did the same thing, spinning round and running to leap high over Caitlyn’s body.
They did this a third time, and afterwards, when Caitlyn stood to meet Vi’s look of bewilderment, a small round of applause broke out from the others who also stood watching. Vi had to join in, adding a few hoots of approval, causing Caitlyn to grin, looking away. In good taste, she took a modest bow before showing off the dogs, instructing them to also bow, their heads dipping towards the ground.
Vi approached, handing Caitlyn the leashes. “That is incredible,” she said. Her cheeks hurt from smiling.
“Thanks,” Caitlyn said, giving the dogs treats from her own pouch. She stooped down to pet them both on the neck before attaching the leashes, giving them a couple more treats for good measure as she praised them.
“Who’s a good girl? You’re my best girl, Duchess. You’re such a good girl for me.”
In bad taste, Vi felt her neck flush, the heat rising up to meet her cheeks.
Caitlyn stood and met Vi’s gaze. The sunlight reflected off of her lustrous hair, looking pristine and luxuriant despite the recent activity. “Want to take them on a short walk? There’s a trailhead up that way,” she said, pointing at the tree line.
Vi cleared her throat. “Yeah, that sounds good.”
After the short hike to the creek, they released the dogs, watching as they splashed in the water. The sound of the stream transported Vi to another place, another time. She recalled her childhood, her adoptive father taking her and Powder to woods just like this, allowing them to play in the water. She remembered her hands, how painfully cold they were afterwards – as if that would have stopped them. She remembered the smell of pine and fresh dirt, the sound of wood thrush chirping jubilantly. She desperately wished she could go back to that time, if only for a minute.
Her daydream was cut off by Caitlyn’s sharp voice. “Jericho! Come!”
Vi’s vision snapped back to the present and she just made out the image of Jericho in the distance, running back now towards the group. When he joined them he panted happily, pleased with himself that he got so far without anyone noticing. Caitlyn gave him a treat when he flew to her side.
“Sorry. Thanks for calling him back.”
Caitlyn waved her off, scratching Jericho’s ear. “Oh, it’s not a problem.”
Vi continued watching, noting how Jericho’s attention was locked on to Caitlyn’s adoring eyes, at how Caitlyn was speaking to him softly. “You’re so good with dogs.”
“How many times are you going to keep saying that?” Caitlyn scolded while wearing a grin.
“As many times as it takes for you to listen to me,” Vi said. “Seriously. You should pick training back up again. Do it professionally.”
Caitlyn smile turned fond, perhaps remembering her mother. “Maybe.”
When the dogs were properly cooled off, they turned back around to head back down the trail to their cars. The air was crisp, the smell filling Vi with giddiness. It was reminiscent of Halloweens spent trick-or-treating, of days spent out in nature with her family. The sunlight cast dappled rays through the foliage, leaves crunching under their feet as they walked. The conversation turned less serious, each of them cracking a joke or two, breathy laughs following and comfortable silences between those. And even though they were walking their dogs that stank and desperately needed a bath, and both women carried little plastic bags of their dogs’ shit, the moment still felt more than perfect.
Vi hadn’t remembered the last time she smiled so much.
--
Vi was cleaning the grounds, her holey beanie on and Carhartt jacket worn overtop her hoodie, the cold once again having set in – this time likely for good for the rest of the season.
She picked up trash, avoiding that part of the cemetery she didn’t like, and was finishing up when she spotted a headstone. She set down her bag and trash picker in an inconspicuous area, and moved closer to inspect it.
It was a child’s grave, the dates inscribed, indicating they had only been a year old. Vi quickly assessed they passed right before she started working here. She’d seen this headstone numerous times, but today was the first day she truly looked at it.
There was a wilted bouquet resting atop the headstone, looking like it had been there for at least a couple weeks. The headstone was dirty, likely not yet cleaned due to its young age.
Vi wasn’t normally struck with emotion while on the job, but today the dirt and growth on the headstone was hard to look past. She perked her ears and heard the unmistakable machine sounds of the backhoe that Loris must be using. Yeah, she could do it. It wasn’t on her agenda for the day, and she had a shit ton more cleaning up to do, but she wanted to do it.
She made the trek to the supply shed to get what she needed – a brush, bucket of water, and soap – and went back to the headstone to get to work.
Typically, these were only cleaned if the family asked and paid for it to be cleaned, or if a volunteer or family member elected to do it themselves. But Vi saw no need for someone to have to pay for this. For any of them, really, but for this one in particular.
When she was done, she wiped it clean, returned the supplies, and got back to work.
--
The weeks were flitting by, scattering like the frantic beating of a moth’s wings. Days were consistently cloudy, nights increasingly growing colder. Vi was itching to do something.
She texted Caitlyn asking if she wanted to take the dogs out somewhere over the weekend, to which Caitlyn made a counteroffer.
Caitlyn: How about the movies?
Vi was sure her confusion was evident on her face, even though no one was around to see it.
Vi: Bring the dogs to the movies?
Caitlyn: No. Who said we needed to have the dogs?
Vi paused. Re-read the text.
Oh. Well… that’s different.
In that case…
Vi: When should I meet u?
--
They didn’t have much time for chitchat before the movie started.
Caitlyn picked the movie this time, after Vi’s failed selection on Halloween. After buying some candy – to which Caitlyn teased Vi about since it was now clear she had an obvious sweet tooth – they sat themselves in the theater. They talked about the weather, and Vi’s work, and progress with the dogs before the previews started and it was too loud and too socially unacceptable to continue with their conversation. Vi found herself missing their discussion. The movie played, and besides one part of the movie that was particularly beautiful and made Vi’s eyes well with tears, she could barely recall what else she had seen, focused so much on her peripheral.
Afterward, they walked to a local café for a late lunch.
“Not gonna lie it’s um, nice, to not have the dogs today,” Vi said as they sat down at the booth they were seated at.
“It is,” Caitlyn agreed. “It requires so much mental capacity to keep them wrangled up.”
“Maybe less so for yours,” Vi added. “I can’t wait until Jericho behaves like yours do.”
“It takes time,” Caitlyn said with a smile. “Like I said before, you’re going to miss this stage. You can’t rush him if he’s not ready yet, if he’s not ready to blossom to his full potential.”
Vi nodded, staring at the menu but not reading. “You’re right. It’s just a lot because my days off have always revolved around him. Today made me remember what it’s like to do things for myself I guess.”
Caitlyn hummed approvingly. “Yes. It can be difficult to live for yourself, especially when the world demands so much of you.”
Vi wondered if Caitlyn felt that way herself or if she only said it because she assumed that’s what Vi felt like. She wished it were easier to talk about deeper, more meaningful topics. It was as if every time they were about to, something either prevented the conversation from continuing, or they willingly changed the topic to something lighthearted. Vi supposed maybe that was the nature of building a friendship – crossing bridges that seemed risky. At least, until you were comfortable enough with each other that the bridges no longer existed.
“God,” Vi said with a sigh, “if I feel this way about having a dog, I can only imagine what parents go through.”
Caitlyn laughed. “Quite the thought experiment, isn’t it?”
“I’ll say,” Vi said with a wonderous shake of her head as she continued staring at the menu. Idly, she added, “makes you appreciate ours. All the sacrifices they must have made.”
Vi glanced up when she didn’t get a response. Caitlyn nodded, eyes flicking back to her menu.
Vi rubbed her palms harshly against her thighs under the table. Foot in mouth, foot in mouth.
After they ordered their food, Caitlyn posed Vi a different question.
“I’ve been meaning to ask if you had plans for Thanksgiving?”
Vi thought about it while she sipped her drink. The thought put her stomach in knots. When was the last time they talked?
“Good question,” Vi responded. “I… guess I don’t know yet. I need to reach out to my sister.”
Caitlyn nodded. “Right. That makes sense.”
“What about you? No plans with… your brother?” Vi asked, recalling her mentioning him in a previous conversation. It was strange, still beating around the bush when discussing family. Shouldn’t that be a normal thing to discuss?
Caitlyn shook her head, lips pursed. “No. He’ll be across country with his partner, attending a science convention. He promised to be home next month though.”
“Oh. And… your dad?”
“He’ll be away too, I’m afraid. Still wrapped up in business in his home country.”
Vi felt bad. Caitlyn wore a smile, to let Vi know it was alright, but Vi could still see the hurt in her eyes. She could tell it pained Caitlyn to be alone so often.
“Well, tell you what, I’ll reach out to my sister and find out what she’s doing, and depending on that, we can spend it together? Do a little friendsgiving?”
This time, a smile bloomed on Caitlyn’s face; a genuine one. “I’d like that.”
They’d finished their lunch and decided to go on a short walk around the shops nearby before needing to head back home to let their respective dogs out, but, like clockwork, as soon as they stepped foot outside, that’s when Vi’s phone decided to ring.
“Sorry, it’s Loris. I have to take this.”
“Of course.”
Vi moved a few steps away and answered. “Yeah?”
“You busy?”
“Well, I mean…” Vi said, turning around briefly to glance at Caitlyn, who was politely distracting her attention a few feet away, watching the other people who walked in the street. “A little. But… what is it?”
A heavy sigh was heard on the other line. Great.
“Look, we had some last-minute services come through. They’re for early tomorrow morning, and while landscaping is good, grounds need some work. If you’re really busy I can try to buckle down and—”
Vi had heard enough. She didn’t want Loris to work himself to the bone. Besides, she and Caitlyn were finishing up their get-together here anyway. It would be a dick move to turn him down at this point.
“Don’t worry, Loris. I can stop by.”
“Oh. Great,” he said, breathing a sigh of relief. “Sorry to ask this of you, kid.”
“It’s okay,” she said, taking note of Caitlyn who was now reaching into her bag to retrieve something while she talked to a homeless person posted on the corner of the street. It was a bill. A crisp bill. And it must have been a large one because when the homeless woman accepted it, her sallow eyes looked about ready to bulge from her skull. She ushered words of praise that Vi couldn’t hear, only saw Caitlyn smile in return and accept a gleeful and adamant hug. “Let me just go home to get Jerry and I’ll be there.”
She hung up and returned to Caitlyn, the homeless woman now out of sight.
“I’m sorry, I have to go.”
“Oh,” Caitlyn said, only somewhat masking the disappointment in her tone. “Work?” she asked, and Vi nodded. “That’s okay. We should go back to the dogs anyway.”
“Yeah.”
“I um, had a really nice time. Let me know about Thanksgiving, yeah?”
Vi grinned. “Will do.”
They both lingered there, the air between them heavy. Vi wanted to do… something. Hug maybe? But that seemed odd.
“Well, goodbye,” Caitlyn said, meekly waving her hand before letting it drop to her side.
“See ya, Cupcake.”
Caitlyn paused, mouth left slightly agape. Vi’s heart was pounding with anticipation. Slowly, a large grin formed on Caitlyn’s face. “What’s that name for?”
“Eh, I give everyone nicknames,” Vi said by way of explanation, playing it off as nothing out of the ordinary. “It suits you.”
Caitlyn chortled, shaking her head in disbelief, her cheeks tinged with a slight blush. “Very well. I’ll see you later then.”
“Bye,” Vi waved with a smirk.
--
Vi paced around her bedroom, her phone in hand. Jericho was lying on the floor, assessing Vi’s state with concern of his own, his head cocking side to side.
Call or text? Call or text? Vi asked herself.
C’mon Vi. Obviously call. Just fucking call.
Vi shook herself out of it, stopping in her tracks to look down at her phone and call the contact that was displayed on the screen for the past fifteen minutes.
It started ringing, and Vi held the phone up to her ear nervously. She bit at the skin around her thumbnail while she waited.
To her surprise, she picked up after a couple of rings.
“Sis?”
“Powder?” Vi exhaled a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding.
“Well look who finally remembered I exist.”
God, Vi missed that sarcasm.
Vi snorted. “Good to hear your voice, too,” she said sardonically.
“So, what’s up? You’re not calling me from jail, so, that’s a plus, huh?”
Vi’s recently uplifted heart sank at the comment. She wasn’t one to be particularly bothered by offhand remarks – especially those made by her own family – but this one stung. “You don’t have to be an ass.”
“Yeah yeah, sheesh. Don’t get all uppity, it was just a joke.”
“Yeah, a bad one.”
“Whatt’re you gonna do?” Powder sighed. “Anyway, what’s up?”
Rip the band-aid off, Vi.
“I um, actually wanted to see what you were doing for Thanksgiving?” she asked, cringing.
“Oh. So we’ve decided we celebrate holidays now?” Powder asked. “Or were you just reminded of it after seeing a Hallmark ad, and thought, ‘Hey, maybe I should call that crazy sister of mine and see what she’s up to!’” Powder’s voice returned to its normal tone. “You know, the one you decided to just start ignoring one day?”
Vi’s jaw clenched. “I did not ignore you, and you know it,” she bit. “And no, I didn’t need a reminder. I just wanted to see if you and Ekko were doing anything. I can make my own plans otherwise.”
“Well, go ahead and make ‘em, sis,” Powder said, sounding bored with the conversation. “Ekko and I are fine.”
There was silence for a moment, Vi’s emotions swirling like torrential storms inside her, each one battling to take the foreground. She cradled the phone. “I haven’t seen you in a while. You never visit the cemetery.”
“Maybe not all of us feel the need to atone for something.”
Tears began to well in Vi’s eyes, threatening to spill over. She spoke through gritted teeth. “No. I suppose you wouldn’t.”
Vi heard Powder sigh. She could feel the pity radiate from even over the phone line.
“Look, Vi. Just… take care of yourself. Make your plans. Get laid or something – you sound terrible. Ekko and I are good. Okay?”
Vi sighed herself, this time in defeat. “Okay.”
Click
--
Vi sat perpendicularly in the seat of the backhoe with the door left open, sweet, earthy air filling the cabin. Her feet sat squarely on the step while she toyed on her phone. She always appreciated this part of the job – loads of breathing room. Technically speaking there was always something to do, but having this quiet time outdoors with rarely a person to bother her was exactly what she wanted in a job. Nothing too stuffy or suffocating. Especially after… Vi shook the thoughts away.
She looked up from her phone and caught a glimpse of a now, very-familiar silhouette that approached her with steps that exuded both confidence and grace.
“Hiya, Cupcake!” Vi greeted when Caitlyn was close enough to hear, both women breaking out in grins. “No dogs?” she observed.
Caitlyn shook her head, stopping once she got to the door left ajar. “Dropped them off at the groomer. And since I was in the area, I thought I’d drop by.”
Vi nodded, adjusting her posture so she no longer slouched. “Perfect timing, I just finished up some digging.”
Caitlyn raked her eyes across the backhoe, then at Vi, seeming to take special note of her muddy Timberlands, cargos, and grey hoodie. “Where’s Jericho?”
“He’s in the office,” Vi said, jutting her head back in the general direction of where the office was situated on the grounds. “He doesn’t hang with me when I’m doing more of the heavy work.”
“I was going to say,” Caitlyn nodded with a brisk laugh, “it’d be impressive if a puppy could behave while you operated that thing. But once he’s trained, I’m sure he could stay in the seat there with you. If he could fit at least.”
“Yeah?” Vi beamed. “Could you imagine him up here with me, wearing an orange vest?”
Caitlyn’s lips curled, the gap in her front teeth prominent. “Aviators,” she added.
Vi cackled, throwing her head back. “Yes! Dude, he’d look so dope.”
“You may have just figured out his Halloween costume for next year.”
“I think you’re right.”
Vi watched as Caitlyn glanced down at her arm, then up at the sky in curiosity.
“Raining?” Vi asked. But she didn’t need Caitlyn an answer to confirm her question, the unmistakable plinking sound of droplets hitting the roof of the backhoe telling her all she needed to know. “Maybe we should go to the office before this really starts dumping on us.”
“Yeah?” Caitlyn asked, tugging her jacket in closer to her body. “Where is it exactly?”
“Um, over the hill. Way over there,” Vi said, pointing at the modestly-sized building in the distance.
“Or my car?” Caitlyn asked, raising her voice as the rainfall increased.
Vi stooped down in order to get a clear look at the sky. Yeah, not a chance. The clouds had fully rolled in, thick and dark like black smog, like a dragon’s first appearance was imminent and it would come soaring through at any moment.
“No time for any of that I think,” Vi managed to say, and like clockwork, it was then that the downpour really began. One of Caitlyn’s arms was raised above her head to shield as much of the water away as she could, but even two seconds in this mess had her sleek cobalt hair already weighed down.
Vi thought about the backhoe, but it only had the single seat and would be far too cramped for two people. What was the closest thing?
With a burst of energy, Vi hopped down from the backhoe and took hold of Caitlyn’s hand. “Come on!”
Vi led the way, tugging Caitlyn along. It was awkward at first – Vi’s stocky legs running fast trying to pull Caitlyn, who was initially moored with confusion and trying keep up with her own gangly limbs – but in just a few paces they hit an easy stride, their cadence matched.
The rain blurred their vision, but luckily there wasn’t much that could obstruct their path. They galloped through green grass, slick yet evenly cut. Vi tightened her hold on Caitlyn’s hand instinctually when she thought of the possibility of one of them slipping.
Vi led them into the mausoleum after only a few seconds of jogging, but it was evidently enough time for them to be positively drenched. They raced into it, basking in the shelter over their heads, in the cessation of mother nature’s relentless assault.
They breathed haggardly, cheeks flushed from both the exertion and the cold. Vi’s skin was clammy and damp, water dripping from her hair and down her face.
They took one glance at each other and burst out laughing, gasping still for breath from the running. From the thrill of it all.
When they’d caught their breath, Caitlyn looked around her to inspect the mausoleum. She looked at the spongey moss that filled the cracks in the ceiling, verdant and lively, and at the now clean statue overlooking them. Vi assumed this was her first time seeing the inside judging by the way Caitlyn was enchanted by the space.
Vi sat on the marble ledge and after a moment, Caitlyn joined her. They peered out at the grounds, watching as the grass drank up the water the sky so readily provided.
The aroma of the air was intoxicating; it was a culmination of greenery and wet dirt and the lingering scent of the little purple flowers that mottled the patch of grass just below the ledge. The scent was subtle, the petals closed now due to the influx of water and lack of sunlight, but the hint of sweetness they provided was the missing puzzle piece that completed the allure of the serene setting. There was another scent too, nearby. One that made Vi’s brain a little woozy.
She turned to face Caitlyn, who she realized was sitting much closer than she thought. The rain continued to fall, pattering relentlessly on the marble roof above them, much of it collecting, running in gentle rivulets that coalesced into bigger streams that fell from the corners of the roof, water splattering on the ground.
Vi met Caitlyn’s eyes, growing uncomfortable or nervous or some other thing, she couldn’t quite name it. Caitlyn seemed to feel that way too. Vi looked away shyly, pretending the rain was more interesting even though she knew it wasn’t. But curiosity got the better of her, seeing, in her peripheral, that Caitlyn was still staring.
Vi looked back. Scattered droplets still adorned their exposed skin, matted their hair down so it clung to the sides of their faces, their foreheads, in sloppy clumps. Vi thought the other woman was beautiful.
Caitlyn’s lips parted. She spoke in a hushed voice.
“You’re so pretty.”
Vi’s stomach dropped. She must have misheard. The rain was loud after all.
She huffed out a single, breathy laugh.
“What?”
Caitlyn held Vi’s gaze, looking serious. Looking scared. Her eyes were so intense.
Her hand lifted to graze at Vi’s jaw.
Oh.
Vi’s heart was galloping, beating faster than it was when she was running.
Her skin was so warm. Vi was conscious now of her own clammy skin, but it didn’t seem like Caitlyn cared much, her eyes flickering down to Vi’s parted lips then back up to her eyes.
They had managed to drift in even closer to each other, as if commanded by something divine; Vi could practically feel Caitlyn’s breath against her own lips.
She gasped softly just before Caitlyn leaned in to kiss her.
It was just a simple press of lips, hardly parted, but parted enough. Enough for Vi to get a taste and cause a strong stirring in her gut, one that made her crave only more. Their faces lingered, lips only a fraction apart, their breaths intermixing.
Their lips pressed again – a gentle touch, a testing tease. Caitlyn’s palm pressed more firmly against Vi’s jaw, her fingers inching farther to thread through the dampened hair at the back of Vi’s head.
Vi didn’t know what to do with her own hands. Why was she so bad at this? Why did it even matter?
Not thinking, sometimes, was the better option.
On the third press of lips, Caitlyn deepened the kiss, inviting more of Vi to be a part of her, to join her in the tempting dance. Vi could feel her warm breath, the sweet taste that enveloped her as her tongue teased Catilyn’s. Vi discovered that in not thinking, her hands found themselves wound around Caitlyn’s waist all on their own.
When she did so Caitlyn sighed, a slight rumble of want emitted from the recesses of her throat, and Vi wished the rain would stop so she could have heard it a little better.
They didn’t need to say anything to know this is what they both wanted. It was as if their desire was predestined – outlined in the stars. Vi never thought desire could ever feel so natural. So forgiving. She felt like she was being cleansed from the inside out.
Soon enough the rain did slow, and Vi regretted her wish for silence. The lack of sound was overwhelming, both women deciding to pull apart. It was as though the curtains that shielded them had been pulled back; their intimacy now exposed to the world.
“I—have to go pick up the dogs,” Caitlyn murmured. They both ducked away, turned and faced the grassy knoll so they were unable to read the other’s face. Would it even be time to pick the dogs up? She just came here… Maybe she just felt like she needed to leave. Vi felt the same way.
“Right. I should get back to work too.”
Vi practically breathed a sigh of relief when Caitlyn spoke again and changed the subject. “Did you learn of your Thanksgiving plans?”
Anxiety panged Vi’s gut, but after all, maybe her sister was right.
Maybe she needed to take care of herself.
“I’m all yours, Cupcake,” Vi answered, and to her pleasant surprise, Caitlyn blushed.
They walked down to the parking lot together, Vi keeping her company.
She didn’t get much work done after that, her mind occupied.
--
“Come on Jerry, hurry up,” Vi bemoaned in a hushed voice, but no matter what she said, Jericho wouldn’t go. It was supposed to be his last time out before heading up to bed, but he only sat on the grass just outside the apartment building, deciding on being a pain in the ass instead.
“Jerry. Come on, it’s cold out here,” Vi said, folding her arms across her torso tightly as if emphasizing her statement. She shivered unconsciously, about ready to scold him again, when she noted his intense posture. “What are you even looking at?”
He sat extremely still and ramrod straight as he peered down the street, scantily illuminated by streetlamps that needed new bulbs.
“There’s nothing there, bud,” Vi said, coaxing him to calm, but it wasn’t working. He whined, stamping his front two feet as if in protest.
Vi looked down the street again. Listened closely.
There was a plethora of buildings lining the street, with alleyways in between. A slight wind rushed through tree boughs, rustling the limbs, along with the occasional crinkling of autumn leaves hitting the pavement, and… Vi strained her ears.
Something else…
Vi had a bad feeling. Her skin prickled, and not from the bitter cold wind.
However, Vi never was one to turn away from bad feelings.
“Come on,” she said, whispering now, tugging the leash once. She allowed Jericho to lead since she figured he knew the source of the sound better than she did, but even he abandoned his usual jaunty cadence in exchange for a timid saunter. They walked carefully down the sidewalk. Vi was conscious of her own sounds – walked very carefully, heel to toe, heel to toe, but unfortunately there was little she could do about the slight jangle of Jericho’s collar, nor the sound of his nails clicking on pavement.
The closer they approached the more obvious it became that something was going on, and Vi increased the pace of her steps. She broke out into a jog when she rounded into an alleyway and saw a familiar face.
The ground fell from underneath her feet.
“Oh fuck…”
Vi abandoned all reason, dropping Jericho’s leash before rushing towards the woman who lay slumped against the wall, just behind a dumpster. Her legs were sprawled out in front of her, one arm held across her waist while the other sat limp at her side, palm turned upwards, fingers curling. There was a pool of blood somewhere, but Vi couldn’t tell much else. It was so, so dark.
“Gert!” Vi exclaimed when she reached the woman’s side. She was careful to avoid touching her, not sure what sort of trauma she was in.
Gert was moaning, but barely, little choked sounds coming from her throat. Her eyes were closed shut, a trickle of blood forming at the corner of her mouth. Vi opened up her phone to cast some light, and gasped at the sight of Gert’s entire abdomen stained crimson.
Quickly, Vi looked up and scanned the alleyway. There was no one else around from what she could tell.
Who the fuck did this?
Vi faced her again. “Gert,” she repeated, this time, her voice was defeated. She reached out to touch the woman’s face with her free hand, trying to make sure she was still there, could still hold on. “I’m calling the police, okay?”
There was no sound in response. No murmur or affirmation.
She called the police.
Her memory began to blur, then. A swirl of anxiety intermixed with fear. Whoever did this got away, Vi knew that much. The most she could do was sit here and wait with her, obeying whatever the dispatcher on the line was telling her.
The last thing she remembered was the sound of sirens when they finally approached, the flashing of red and blue, gleaming purple against the stained dumpster. Jericho’s leash jangled as he paced back and forth, whining, the metal dragging across the pavement while EMTs rushed out of an ambulance.
--
After dropping Jericho off at home, Vi waited at the hospital.
She waited for hours.
Someone took it upon themselves to give her an update, considering no one else was there for her.
They said she didn’t make it.
Vi nodded solemnly as she absorbed the information. She knew it before they told her really. She could feel it in her gut.
When Gert’s family showed up, Vi felt out of place. She didn’t introduce herself, especially since she barely knew Gert. She wanted to give them privacy. So not knowing what else to do, she went home and didn’t even bother trying to fall asleep.
--
The funeral was held only a few days later at a local church downtown. Vi passed it every day on her way to work.
The church looked different inside than she would have imagined, especially for it being so small. Even though she knew the exterior like the back of her hand, she never would have imagined the inside to hold so much art – icons of Janna decorated every wall, a large, ornate carving in wood of her hanging high above the altar. Intricate displays of stained glass lined the back wall, casting beautiful rays of oranges and blues on the floor as the sun set. As time passed, the rays of sunlight dwindled, turning the once hopeful day into an eternal night.
Caitlyn came with her. She held her hand as they sat in the back, a pew all to themselves. They didn’t speak much.
Vi thought of Gert for the entirety of the service.
She thought about the only two interactions they had the entire time Vi lived in her apartment. Their apartment.
The first time they talked was shortly after Vi moved in. The elevator had broken down, and Gert was waiting in the lobby, staring at the out-of-order sign haphazardly taped to the front of the elevator doors. Vi joined her to commiserate, even though she never really bothered with the elevator much anyway.
“Broken again?” Vi asked.
Gert sighed, offering a smile to share in the humor of it all. “Yep. Like everything else in this rust bucket.”
Vi breathed out a laugh. “You know, I keep hearing that. Beginning to think I made a mistake moving here.”
Gert chuckled, turning towards Vi more fully. “Nah. It’s a good place… that is, when it’s not busy being a bad place.”
Vi’s smile grew. She appreciated the humor.
“I’m Gert.”
“Vi.”
“Nice! Like your tattoo!”
“Yep.”
“I like your tattoos. And piercings. Your whole vibe, really.”
“Oh, thanks,” Vi said. “I like yours too. Your hair reminds me of my sister’s.”
She reached to the side of her face to fiddle with a lock. “What, the dreads?”
“No. The blue. It’s like the exact same shade.”
“Well, she’s got good taste.”
Vi hummed in agreement. “Yeah.”
“Well, I guess I should start heading up,” Gert announced. “What floor you on?”
Vi smiled nervously, already expecting the reaction she was going to get. “First.”
“You little shit, that’s not bad.”
Vi smirked deviously. “What about you?”
“Seventh. So, yeah. A few more flights than yours.”
They walked up the first flight together, until Vi paused at the door in the stairwell for her own floor.
“We should hang out some time,” Gert said as she leaned on the railing, her feet waiting on the steps.
“We should,” Vi agreed.
And she meant it.
She swore she did.
Time just… got away from her.
The second time they talked was outside their building.
Jericho had been much younger then, and Vi was waiting as patiently as she could for him to go potty in the dog relief area. Gert parked her car and was walking up towards the building entrance when she spotted them.
“Vi,” Gert announced as she approached, “who is this!! Oh my god so cute!” she squealed.
Jericho wagged his tail happily at the attention.
Vi and Gert chatted after that, Gert mentioning how she would be more than willing to watch Jericho whenever Vi needed. Vi said she’d take her up on the offer.
But that was months ago.
Time simply slipped through Vi’s fingers like sand. She operated according to her own timetable, ensuring the cemetery was taken care of, and Jericho went to work with her, so that took care of that. Whenever Vi came home from shifts, Gert was never around, so Vi assumed Gert worked a night shift or something. Whatever the reason, they never hung out.
As Vi sat in the pew, Caitlyn by her side, she couldn’t help but condemn her past self. To mourn the relationship that could have been. If they had been friends, maybe Gert wouldn’t have been in that situation the other night. Maybe Vi could have done something to prevent it.
The service went on. Preachings about sin and death. Of redemption and hope and the afterlife. Nothing particularly poignant. Caitlyn sat stoney-faced the entire time, always present for Vi, even though it looked as though mentally she was far away.
While the priest droned on and on, Vi couldn’t help but think of how each one of these services was probably exactly the same as any other. Did these people even know Gert? Was anything they said personalized to her?
Vi thought of sin. The day after the incident, the police caught the guy that did it. The guy that stabbed her. It was an altercation, apparently, a dispute over drug money. Who cares? Why did the reason of her death matter? What matters is that she died, and she shouldn’t have. Period. So why all this discussion about sin? It didn’t make any sense to her.
After the service was the burial. Loris told Vi he’d take care of all the preparations, which Vi appreciated. She didn’t want to dig another hole. Not for someone she knew. She didn’t think she’d be able to go back to work ever again afterwards if she did.
She and Caitlyn lingered in the back of the small gathering of visitors. She wished the priest would stop talking. Was what he was saying even applicable? Was this what Gert would have even wanted? Vi didn’t think so, given what little she did know about Gert, but who knows. Vi at least appreciated the gesture that her family cared. After all, she was sure they would be in debt now. One thing she despised after taking over her new job was learning about how corrupt the funeral industry was, how they price-gouged those in mourning; poor, desperate people who only wanted to do right by their loved ones. Vi thought of her father. She thought of Powder, all alone.
The ceremony ended, and they walked back to Caitlyn’s car while Vi avoided glancing at the part of the cemetery she didn’t like.
Caitlyn drove them to Vi’s apartment. Inside, she made no mention of the dishes piled up in the sink, or the clutter scattered on the countertops. Instead, she stripped off her black heels and joined Vi on the shitty couch, enjoying the silence together.
They sat close but weren’t touching. Jericho hopped up on one end of the couch closest to Vi with a toy. Then they were accompanied by the sounds of chewing.
“Do you think it’s true…” Vi began, her hollow voice trailing off.
“Hmm?” Caitlyn turned towards her, attentive as a mother watching her baby take their first wobbly steps. A part of Vi was comforted by it, but another part wished Caitlyn didn’t feel the need to treat Vi like she was made of glass.
“That our whole life flashes before our eyes before we die? Like, all of it? Do you think that’s true, or is it just something people say?”
Caitlyn thought about it. She folded her legs on the cushion and tucked her feet under her, playing with a stray fuzz on the couch behind where Vi sat. “I wish I knew,” she said finally, “it would grant me some peace of mind too. But it is nice to think about.”
That was about where Vi stood on the issue too.
Then it was as if her mouth had a mind of its own.
“I went to prison.” Vi said it like any other statement.
Caitlyn looked at her with an unspoken question on her face.
Vi sighed. “I’ll spare you the details. Long story short I beat some guys up who were harassing my sister. Turned out one of them was a minor, and his parents pressed charges. This was all about five, six years ago.”
Caitlyn listened intently.
“I wasn’t in for long – not even a year. But during that time, our foster dad, Vander, passed away. Heart disease. Powder had to handle everything by herself, for the most part. Luckily Benzo and Ekko were there, at least.”
Caitlyn remained silent, opting to rest a hand on Vi’s shoulder.
“Things were strained with my sister after I got out. She blamed me for not being there. Which is true, it was my fault – she told me not to fight them, but I did anyway. I still feel guilty.”
It took a moment for Caitlyn to respond. “I know it may not be any consolation,” Caitlyn said, “but the universe is a strange place. There’s no rhyme or reason. It simply, is,” Caitlyn stroked Vi’s back with her hand. Vi hummed appreciatively. “I hope you know none of what happened is your fault, let alone anyone else’s. It would be impossible for you to have predicted what could happen.” Vi stared at her. Caitlyn spoke matter-of-factly. It made Vi question if Caitlyn believed what she was saying.
Still, Vi nodded. “I know. It’s taken me a while, but I know. Can you… keep doing that please?”
Caitlyn resumed stroking Vi’s back, having paused when Vi started talking. It was so nice. Grounding.
“Sometimes I listen to science podcasts while I work. I always found that stuff interesting. Astrophysics type stuff,” Vi said. Caitlyn nodded. “Those help a lot. Learning how vast the universe is. How small we are in comparison. It might sound depressing, but for me it helps. It puts into perspective how little control we actually have. Over anything.”
Caitlyn cocked a brow but sat listening. She brushed her hand over Vi’s shoulders soothingly, scratching her fingers ever so slightly.
“Anyway,” Vi said, “I hope Vander remembered all the good he did before he died. I really hope he was able to relive that. How good of a dad he was.” Vi felt her bottom lip tremble and turned away from Caitlyn.
Caitlyn stopped rubbing and instead reached over to bring Vi into her arms. The profundity of the action caused a stray tear to track down Vi’s face, quickly absorbed into the shoulder of Caitlyn’s dress as Vi was held close. Caitlyn held her tightly in her long, slender arms.
“I’m sure he did, sweetheart. He always knew you loved him.”
“I hope Gert remembered me too,” Vi said with a wavering voice. “I hope she knew I was there with her.”
“She did,” Caitlyn confirmed with surety. “She knew. You were there for her, Vi. You gave her exactly what she needed.”
Vi wanted to believe her.
She thought about Gert. She wondered why, if sin was so bad, why do those who are the most innocent feel the most guilt?
She allowed herself to be held as silent tears fell from her like raindrops.
--
“Powder was here yesterday.”
Vi set down the leaf blower in the corner of the room, turning around to face Loris who stood in the shed doorway. She cocked her head. “What?”
“I said, Powder was here yesterday. With her boyfriend.”
A mix of emotions crossed Vi’s face. She slowly raked a hand through her hair, knotting her fingers in the back. “What…” she said again, to herself this time. Then she turned back to Loris. “Why didn’t you tell me yesterday? I could have come over!”
Loris heaved a deep sigh, his crossed arms moving with his chest. “She deliberately wanted to visit knowing you wouldn’t be here. You know I’m not trying to be part of your family drama, Vi. She wanted to visit, I let her visit. It was your day off.”
Vi spluttered, then groaned in frustration, knowing he was right. It was probably a good thing they hadn’t met unexpectedly. “You’re right, Lor. It’s fine.” She scuffed one of her boots along the floor of the dusty shed. “But she visited. That’s… that’s good. She hasn’t since Benzo.”
Vi continued. “A-and she visited—?”
Loris nodded.
Vi nodded back in confirmation, her hands on her hips.
“They left bouquets,” Loris said. “Figured I should be the one to tell you they came by instead of you finding the flowers first and had questions.”
“Thanks.”
Near the end of the day, Vi collected the bucket, brush, and soap, and set about her mission.
She first looked at Gert’s, lingering there for a minute. Naturally, her headstone was spotless, having been installed only a couple weeks ago. Still, she inspected it. Wiped away the slight amount of dirt that gathered there. Then she went to Benzo’s. Smiled when she saw the bouquet. She gently took it down before she began cleaning the headstone, scrubbing it until it was spotless, then she put the bouquet back. She couldn’t help but sniff it before setting it down, hoping for lingering scents of her family who placed it there.
She replaced the water and trudged to the far end of the cemetery where Caitlyn’s mother was buried. Her headstone was highly polished, so even though it had been there for nearly a year, there wasn’t much growth. Still, Vi cleaned what little of it needed cleaning.
Finally, she walked down to the place that made her uncomfortable. On instinct, she scanned her eyes along the top of the headstone, her brain just barely recognizing the letters that made up his name, then settled her gaze upon the second bouquet.
She stopped in her tracks, unable to continue. Her chest heaved and the world became dizzy. Vi set the bucket down, and she stared at the rippling water inside it to ground herself and catch her breath.
Eventually, Vi was able to stand up straight, albeit on shaky knees. She knew she wouldn’t be able to clean the headstone today, especially if she couldn’t even look at it. But this was… good. It was the most she’s been able to do. Baby steps, she told herself. Baby steps.
--
Time passed strangely for Vi.
She often woke up in the middle of the night, sheets damp with sweat and heart racing. If she had dreams, she didn’t remember them. Luckily. But it was always hard to fall back asleep, her twisting and turning in the covers with only the sounds of her groaning fridge and occasionally the patter of sleet and wind against her window.
Vi was tempted to text Caitlyn, but there would always be some little thought niggling in the back of her mind telling her not to. That disturbing Caitlyn would somehow ruin everything. That it’d be best to have that part of her life remain untouched by her woes. At least something could be right – could be left peacefully undisturbed. Like the serene surface of a placid lake, her struggles threatened to break the façade, threatened to send the surface rippling and all notions of the peaceful backdrop would vanish. That Caitlyn, one of the few, good things in her life, would vanish.
So, Vi stayed up. Like her other restless nights. She would work out in the small, makeshift gym she cobbled together in the corner of her room until she was coated with sweat. She read books – sci fi and fantasy mainly – make-believe worlds that she could ship herself off to, worlds where turmoil was always able to be overcome, no matter how bleak the situation. She would walk Jericho, but the thought of meandering around there at night made her mouth go dry, made her throat thicken while images of blue dreads, piercings, and warm smiles flooded her mind.
Her methods of distraction were working for now, and she supposed that’s all she could hope for.
--
Vi supposed she shouldn’t have been surprised by the size and grandiosity of Caitlyn’s house when she first laid eyes on it, but she couldn’t help the way her jaw dropped as soon as she entered the driveway.
Caitlyn let her into the massive foyer. Everything was so pristine she hardly wanted to let Jericho off his leash in case he ruined or broke something.
“I’ll take those,” Caitlyn said, taking hold of the two casserole dishes Vi had brought with her. “You can let him off, he’s okay,” she said, nodding towards Jericho. Vi let him off leash to explore while Archie and Duchess kept tabs on him.
Caitlyn led Vi to the kitchen.
“Holy shit, Cupcake,” Vi said, eyes honing in on the ginormous bird on the counter. “It’s only us, right?”
“Um, yes…” Caitlyn said in a timid voice. “Is something wrong?”
“That’s a huge bird. What is it, a fifteen-pounder?”
Caitlyn bit her lip. “Twenty.” Her voice made it sound like a question.
Vi chuckled, watching Caitlyn’s cheeks redden.
“I’m sorry. I’m afraid it’s quite obvious I don’t cook. Is it?”
Vi walked around the counter to get acquainted with the space. She eyed an apron hanging on the back of the pantry door, and without asking, grabbed it and tied it around her waist. “That’s alright. It’s cute. You’re just lucky I’m here to help.”
Caitlyn’s smile softened. She rounded the corner to open the pantry door. “I’ll show you where everything is, then I’ll pour us some sparkling wine. After that I’m at your mercy.”
Vi liked the sound of that.
Turns out, they worked well as a team. Vi buttered up and seasoned the turkey and put it in the oven, then helped Caitlyn prep the side dishes, watching her scrunch her nose up in concentration as she carefully peeled potatoes. They had plenty of time to kill with everything either in the oven or waiting to be placed in the oven, so they spent the hours sipping on wine and playing board games in the dining room. And after watching the national dog show on TV – which was, much to Vi’s delight, narrated beautifully by Caitlyn with insightful commentary on their training – they elected to run around with their own dogs in Caitlyn’s massive backyard.
“Damn, you really have everything here, huh?” Vi said as they stood on the back porch. Caitlyn’s yard – technically her father’s yard, since this was still his estate, Caitlyn had explained to her – housed an immense dog training area complete with ramps, jumps, weave poles, and just about every other piece of agility equipment.
Caitlyn nodded. “We do. We used to host a state-of-the-art training program here. It was so much fun growing up.”
“That must have been a blast as a kid, seeing all the different dogs train at your house,” Vi agreed. She softened her voice. “Do you miss it?”
Caitlyn looked down, twiddling with her thumbs, her nails scratching against the handrail of the porch. “I do. I miss being a part of it. My mother was a fantastic trainer.”
Vi held her mouth in a straight line. She didn’t press it. They watched as the dogs played with each other, racing around the grass, partaking in a shared silence that left Vi wanting to comfort, but also realizing that maybe this simple form of companionship, simply her presence, might be enough.
They still haven’t talked about what happened at the mausoleum, that unspoken tension also lingering in the air, hanging low like a dense fog that clung to them both. It sat there, looming between them. Vi drummed her fingers against the handrail while Caitlyn played with her necklace, a thin gold chain that sat nestled within the swell of her sweater.
“We need to check the turkey,” Vi said, turning her gaze back towards the door left ajar, the warm essence spilling out like furled fingers, inviting them back inside. “I think it’s done.”
--
With dishes washed and bellies full, Vi and Caitlyn shared in laughter. It was a welcome breath of fresh air. They sat on the couch, telling stories.
“You know one thing I love about you?” Caitlyn asked.
Vi’s chest throbbed. “There are more things than just one?”
Caitlyn chuckled, but her tone was serious. “Yes. There are many.”
In a gesture of comedic confidence, Vi flexed both arms, popping her biceps. “Are these two of them?” she daunted.
Caitlyn cackled, her face turning a lovely shade of red. “You dolt,” she said, lightly slapping a hand against Vi’s shoulder. Heat lingered where Caitlyn slowly dragged her fingers away. “What I love is how sweet you are. Even though you’ve been around so much pain, it’s as if the world has yet to crack you. Like your softness is indestructible.”
Vi’s smile slowly faded, settling in a flat line.
“Did I say something wrong?” Caitlyn asked, her hand hovering between the two of them as if wanting to touch Vi but afraid of the reaction.
“N-no. You didn’t.”
“But?” Caitlyn added. Her lips were slightly parted, her two front teeth visible. Her brow was creased with concern. Vi’s heart melted at her worry.
“I guess I just feel numb a lot of the time. I’m glad it comes across as being sweet though.”
“Because how you feel is genuine, Vi. I can tell.” Caitlyn sighed, settling deeper into the couch cushion. “But I know what you mean. I feel numb too. All the time, really. Sometimes I wish I could crack, to have it all come pouring out of me. I think I’d finally feel some relief then.”
“Caitlyn,” Vi started, “we’re… friends, right?”
Caitlyn smiled. “Yes. Of course. Why?”
“I just… don’t want to ask anything I shouldn’t. I only want to know if you’re okay. Like, really okay?”
“Yeah,” Caitlyn grinned, looking down at her glass. Her fingertips traced up and down the stem. “I’m okay. Lonely, but good. Much better after meeting you.”
Vi nodded slowly. “Me too.”
Then, Caitlyn assessed her seriously. “Do you still dream of Gert?”
Vi leaned her head on her palm, her elbow resting on the cushion behind her. She stared at the blurry reflections of their bodies through the screen of the TV in front of them, it playing a three-hour long video of a fire burning in a mantle. She could just make out their figures within the flickering flames. It was like some alternate versions of them were staring back at her. The thought made her eyes flit away, focusing instead on the grey clouds outside through the huge windows that lined the far wall. Her voice quieted to just over a whisper.
“I do. But now, I dream I’m the one stabbing her.”
--
“Are you positive you don’t want to stay? There are multiple guest rooms,” Caitlyn offered, not bothering to hide the disappointment from her voice or face when Vi got up to leash up Jericho and tug on her shoes. The sun had dipped behind the horizon, and the dark was setting in, indicating Vi was overdue with her visit.
“Can’t. I’d love to but promised Loris I’d do a quick walk through and lock up tonight.”
“Oh, that’s right.” Caitlyn rose from her seat slowly, as if prolonging the movement. She brushed off her pants as she walked toward where Vi stood in the hallway. “Oh! But don’t forget your leftovers,” she added, trotting to the kitchen counter to get Vi’s casserole dishes, now filled with sides and pounds of turkey.
“Thanks,” Vi said, taking them in her hands, Jericho’s leash held between her fingers.
“Happy Thanksgiving,” Caitlyn said sweetly.
“Happy Thanksgiving.”
There was no hesitation when Caitlyn wrapped her arms around Vi’s torso, Vi bending forward awkwardly to both lean into the hug and accommodate the dishes in her hands. Caitlyn gripped her with a silent acknowledgement of what they both felt, both shared. Of what remained unspoken. Caitlyn felt so nice. So soft, with a delicate frame, yet strong enough to support Vi with whatever she needed. Vi couldn’t help but tuck her face in her neck, breathing in the scent of Caitlyn and committing it to memory.
“Text or call me if you need anything,” Caitlyn murmured in Vi’s ear. It was both ticklish and arousing. “Even if you wake me. I don’t care. I can’t bear the thought of you having bad dreams.”
“Okay. I will.”
--
It wasn’t nightmares though that woke Vi up a few nights later. She probably would have taken Caitlyn up on her offer if it was.
This evening, she was haunted by ghosts.
When Vi arrived at the cemetery, her car clock reading 2:24 am, she sat there for a bit. It was a clear night, so the stars overhead were a welcome sight. Finally, she tugged on a beanie and opened the door to brave the cold.
Vi took measured steps across the now-snowy fields, watching her breath plume out in front of her like smoke. She shook her head at the thought. Smoking. It was one thing she promised herself not to do. One thing she vowed to never touch after seeing all the physical problems it had caused Vander. But of course, she broke that promise in jail. Just another thing to feel guilty about.
The field was dotted with stones that erupted from the earth, ones she’s come to memorize the patterns of. She walked carefully, listening to the eerie crunch of her feet against the frost, knowing exactly where she was headed.
Vi’s thoughts swirled around her head. They soured, much like her stomach – resembling a half-drunk beer sitting out and growing warm with neglect. Perhaps it was the influx of guilt, or the fact that she knew she wouldn’t be able to sleep if she didn’t come. But either way, she found herself here. Figured she may as well rip the bandage off. It was long overdue – crusted over and no longer providing much protection – but the wound underneath still ached. Still bled.
When she was nearly there, she stopped, furrowing her brow. Vi’s heart began to race. No, no, no, not now. Someone else was already there, standing right in front of it. This was the same grave, right? Yes, It was. Of course it was. So who was…?
God, why did someone else have to be here? Why now? When she’d finally had the courage to see it. To see him.
She hadn’t prepared for this. Besides Powder and Ekko, Vander didn’t have any visitors. Vi thought she could count on this fact, thought she could rely on being alone so she could make a fool of herself with no one around to witness.
But there was a part of her that was curious to find out who this strange visitor was.
She took a few more crunching steps until the man turned around in curiosity.
“Relax, I—I work here,” Vi said before he could speak, anticipating his question.
“Hm. Are you kicking me out, then?”
Vi got a weird sense of déjà vu.
“No. Believe it or not, I’m… visiting.”
The man turned back towards the grave. He had a strange voice – calm yet sonorous. It suited his persona, matching his scarred face and lanky, elegant body. “And do you desire company?”
Vi scuffed her boot along the surface of the snow, hands stuffed deep in her pockets. “Not really. I’m sure you don’t either.”
“Then why are you here?” he all but scoffed.
“I’m—” Vi swallowed a lump that formed suddenly in her throat. “I-I’m visiting my dad.”
The man turned around, looking as if he wasn’t sure he heard her right. His eyes pierced straight through her as if she were made of glass. “Your dad? Vander?”
She nodded.
He let out a small breath of surprise. “You’re the other one, then,” he muttered, mainly to himself.
Vi’s fists tightened in her pockets. “Do you know my sister?”
The man was obscure in his answers. “I knew Vander had two girls.”
“And how did you know him?” Vi asked.
He looked annoyed, clearly not wanting to respond. Vi was quiet while he debated what to say. Finally, he settled on, “We were friends. Years ago.”
Vi had a feeling that was all she was going to get out of him. She didn’t press it.
“Shit happens,” she said instead. An acknowledgement.
The man chuckled once, humorless. “As someone your age would put it. Yes. Shit happens.”
For some reason, the tips of Vi’s ears grew hot. “What do you mean, ‘someone my age?’ You don’t know me or what I’ve been through.” She thought of funerals, of prison food. Of holidays spent alone and long nights spent working. This man stood here in his pristine pea coat and shiny oxfords that he meticulously kept out of the snow and dirt. Vi wiped her nose with a holey, denim sleeve.
He stuffed his boney hands in his coat pockets while he assessed her. “No, I suppose I don’t.”
He was quiet then. Eventually, Vi craned her neck to look at Vander’s headstone. Finally, she read the entire thing, not averting her eyes, not skimming them over the tops of the letters that made up his name, not allowing her brain to register the words. This time, she read the words. She felt her eyes gleam with moisture.
Vander Lanes
1969 – 2020
After a few minutes, the man turned around. He hesitated before resting his hand on Vi’s shoulder, just a gentle press of a few fingers. “You’re young. Don’t be a girl that holds onto hatred. Even if it’s only toward yourself. Believe me… it’s not worth the time.”
He sauntered away with nary a sound. Vi was tempted to roll her eyes but looked back at the headstone instead.
Finally alone, she thought of him. Of his booming laugh, of his kind smile. Of his hugs that could melt stone.
God, why him?
Why Vander?
After everything she’d been through in her and Powder’s young life, why did God have to strip them of the only person they had left? And at the end of it all, make them lose touch with one another?
She stood there until the first rays of sunlight made their appearance in the cloudy sky.
--
Snow and dirt mixed into a marbled heap of white and ashy brown while Vi operated the backhoe, digging up a plot for a burial slotted to take place later. Her mind was empty while she worked. Thankfully.
Her phone began to buzz, and her mind flashed to Caitlyn. It had been a while since she’d heard from her, and even longer since they’d seen each other. Her pulse quickened with hope, but when she glanced at the screen, her stomach dropped.
“Hello?” she answered without missing a beat.
“Howdy Sis! How’s it hanging?”
Vi was stunned, finding trouble forming words. “W-what—”
“Oh for Janna’s sake I’m only calling to say hi. Sheesh, no need to make it into some big deal.”
Vi paused again, not letting it slide. The call and the… tone of the call was too unexpected. Powder was evidently in one of her whiplash manic moods, which wasn’t a bad thing per se, just… unexpected.
“You’re right,” Vi said. “I’m um, I’m good, I guess. What about you?”
“Great! I’m doing great! Ekko and I just moved into a new place, and he’s working in a different garage now. I’m trying to get a job there too, while still selling my art online. Like I’ve been doing. Ya know?”
Vi did not in fact, know that about her sister. But she went along with it, her proud eyes brimming with moisture while Powder continued.
“Anyway, I felt kinda bad about how we left things about Thanksgiving and wanted to see how you were doing. You definitely seemed down in the dumps when you reached out.”
Vi knew how this worked; Powder’s manic moods didn’t last long. Vi wanted to see her in person, to reconcile, but this jubilant version of Powder would likely be gone by tomorrow, so any invitation to meet up would be useless.
“I’m better, I think. Yeah. I’m good. Just, working, and everything.”
“Mhm, still got the puppy?”
Vi smiled. “Yes. I’ve got Jericho. He’s doing great. Learning and growing.”
“Ha, that’s fun. Dogs are so much fun. Maybe Ekko and I should get a dog… We’ve been thinking about it. Well… I’ve been thinking about it…”
“They’re a lot of work. Think you’re up for the task?”
“Pshh. Work, schmork. I can absolutely train a dog. I’d train her to make art with me! Train her to bring me different paints. Oh wait, aren’t dogs color blind? Hm, I’ll have to think about that some more.”
Vi laughed. “So, you and Ekko are good? Getting along and everything?”
“We’re just two peas in a pod! No, but seriously… he keeps me in line. Makes sure I take my meds. Makes sure I take them with water too, and not energy drinks. Even though Redbull just released a new flavor and it is deee-lish. Have you tried it?”
“No. No I haven’t.”
“Well, you’re missin’ out.” Vi could vaguely hear the sound of a can being cracked open on the other end of the line. “But anyway… you sound good! Did you finally get laid?”
Vi grimaced. “Why do you ask me shit like that? It’s… weird.”
“You’re weird! And so am I! Newsflash sis, but everyone is. At least a little bit. C’mon, it’s not like I’m asking for dirty details. Ick,” Powder grimaced before taking an evidently large swig of her drink.
“I mean,” Vi said, shifting so she sat perpendicular in her seat. “I did make a friend.”
“Oh yeah? Look at you! Making friends. That who you spend Thanksgiving with?”
“Yeah. She’s um, she’s been so great.”
“Ooh, ‘she’? Do I need to give her a talking-to? Make sure she knows who she’s dealing with and to treat you nice?”
Vi snorted. “Powder, I swear we’re only friends.”
“Uh huh. Only friends.” Vi could perfectly visualize in her mind the air quotes Powder used. “How’d you meet?”
“We uh, we met at the cemetery.”
“Wow. Romantic.”
Vi’s stomach fluttered with memories of damp moss and clammy skin, kissed with rain.
“You gonna spend Christmas with her too?”
“I don’t know. I honestly haven’t thought that far in the future.”
“Well, I won’t blame you if you do. I need to figure out what we’re doing anyway.”
Vi thought of the question she wanted to ask, nervous of the possibility that mentioning such a touchy subject would break Powder of her easygoing nature that she managed to uphold this entire time. She decided to choose her words carefully.
“So I, I talked to Loris. He said you and Ekko visited recently.”
“Yeah. We did.”
“That’s… um, good. How did that go?”
“It went good, actually. Long overdue. Which reminds me, have you visited, Vi? I know you work there and all, but I know you.”
Vi picked absentmindedly at the skin around her fingernails. “I did.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. The other night.” Vi recalled the man she’d met. “There was this guy there too. Really weird. It was like… talking to a ghost. He acted like he knew you.”
“Oh, I know who you’re talking about. I’m surprised you never met him before.”
“So you do know him?”
“He came to Vander’s funeral,” Powder said matter-of-factly.
Vi hummed in acknowledgement. A jealous sort of rage simmered within her.
“Well I’m really glad you visited, Vi. Seriously. I was beginning to worry about you.”
Powder always knew how to quiet Vi’s storms. She felt herself relax. But she also genuinely didn’t want Powder to worry about her, not when she needed to take care of herself first, so Vi made a mental note that she filed away to appear less needy, more put-together.
“You don’t have to worry about me.”
“I was kidding – you know I hardly think about you! That statement was a ruse to test your lie-detecting skills.”
Vi chuckled, shaking her head.
“Anywho, I should skedaddle and let you get back to work at your depressing-ass job. I’m gonna research which dog breed is best for making art.”
“Sounds good,” Vi placated. “Maybe I’ll talk to you again soon?”
“Yeah sure! Nice talkin’, sis.”
“Yeah. Talk to you later.”
When they hung up, Vi let out a long, quavering breath. That was… good. Really good. Even if Powder’s mood was fleeting and the next time they spoke she’d flip back to hating her guts again, Vi knew Powder was still there. She was still doing okay.
That’s about as much as she could ask for nowadays.
--
Vi rubbed the sleep from a crusty eye after she first creaked it open, taking a moment to register if the sound of her phone buzzing was a hallucination or not. She twisted in her covers to pluck it off the nightstand, squinting to read the texts.
Caitlyn: Can I come over?
Caitlyn: I’m sorry, I know it’s early
It was just past four. Vi didn’t have to go to work today, but even if she did, there would have been no change in her answer.
Vi: yes absolutely
Vi threw on some sweatpants and brushed her teeth. When she shuffled into the kitchen, she side-eyed the dishes piled up in her sink before making the executive decision to just do them, scrubbing them clean. Then and only then, did she brew a pot of coffee.
As the percolator rumbled, she heard a knock on the door.
Vi mentally prepared for what reason caused Caitlyn to want to come over at this hour. Whatever it was, Vi willed the drowsiness in her eyes to vanish.
When Vi opened the door, she was met with a positively downtrodden Caitlyn. She wore yoga pants and Vi’s hoodie – one she must have borrowed on one of their get-togethers. Her eyes were red-rimmed and bloodshot, her gorgeous irises glassy. Her nose was flushed from the cold, her hair, slightly mussed and covered with a flurry of snowflakes.
“Cait,” Vi said breathlessly. She had nearly no time to prepare before Caitlyn flung herself into Vi’s arms.
Caitlyn didn’t have to cry for Vi to feel the extent of her hurt. It radiated from her like a somber winter sun – it’s warmth dull and light fading. But she was crying. She cried like how Vi cried for Gert – silently and shuddering. Caitlyn allowed her entire weight to collapse into Vi’s arms, as if her entire world had come crashing down. Vi ached to somehow make her feel better. To be of any use at all.
She somehow managed to shamble them both over to her couch.
When Caitlyn finally pulled away from Vi’s shoulder, Vi’s hands still holding firmly to her back, Vi looked at Caitlyn’s face, seeing the hurt there.
“What’s wrong?” Vi whispered, slipping one hand back around from Caitlyn’s shoulder to caress her thumb along her chin. Vi’s own eyes even started to sting.
Caitlyn exhaled a deep, shuddering breath. “I’m sorry. It’s so early… I should have just—”
“Cait,” Vi interrupted. “You’re not a burden, okay? I want to help you.”
Caitlyn nodded slowly, even though her eyes searched Vi’s face for any indication of a lie.
“I—I...” she started, shakily.
“It’s okay, Cait. Just take a deep breath.”
Caitlyn listened, inhaling slowly, then exhaling. Inhale. Exhale. She closed her eyes, as if it pained her to look at anything. “I-It’s been a year…”
Oh.
Of course.
Vi should have known. She remembered noting the dates on the headstone, but for some reason it didn’t register for Vi that the anniversary was this soon.
Vi remembered some of the one-year anniversaries she’d lived through. She remembered how wordlessly dreadful she felt, not only on the day of, but also in the weeks to follow. How it felt like the already failing foundation of her life came crumbling down. What little effort she’d put into creating it in the first place now made useless, crooked bricks placed with scarcely an intent on what the final picture would look like. The knowledge that she’d have to start all over again. How malicious voices spoke to her like shadows of death, insinuating shame that she felt so deeply in her bones she could do nothing but sink to the ground and wait as time passed. Barely eating. Barely breathing.
She knew the words were useless, but there was truly nothing else she could think of to say. Her guts twisted in rueful compassion while she stared at Caitlyn’s trembling chin. “I’m so sorry.”
Caitlyn huffed a breath. “Thanks. It’s just…” she huffed again, “you don’t understand.” She shook her head wistfully, her palms clenching into white-knuckled fists in her lap. Vi could only keep her watchful eye on her. “I’m also fuming. I—I’m so, outrageously, angry at myself.” She spoke slowly, her voice wavering. The redness in her eyes did nothing but punctuate her statement.
“Why?”
Caitlyn scoffed. “Because I haven’t done anything! My mother passed an entire year ago and I’ve done nothing I said I was going to, have done nothing to honor her by. I’ve just been feeling sorry for myself.” She caught her breath, again shaking her head. “I wanted to write her biography. I wanted to make donations, and rebuild animal shelters… keep the training business going... I wanted to—”
“Cait, take a breath. It’s alright,” Vi said, placing her palms on Caitlyn’s knees. “You can still do all those things. You’re not held to a timetable.”
Caitlyn quieted, but her face remained unchanged. With an imperceptible shake of her head, she muttered in a broken whisper, “What kind of daughter am I?”
Vi’s heart sank. Even still, the words came naturally to her. It was surprisingly easy to find them. “Look, you’re self-sabotaging. You’re bringing yourself down because it makes you feel better. But you can’t let that little voice win.”
Caitlyn didn’t say anything. She only sniffled, staring off into space dejectedly.
“You said I don’t understand, but I do.”
Caitlyn looked up at Vi, regret showing instantly. There was no doubt she recalled Vi’s retellings of her own fucked-up past. “Vi… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”
“No, I know. I know you didn’t mean it like that. It’s okay. Just listen to me.” Vi spoke while Caitlyn tugged her knees close to her chest. The sleeves of Vi’s hoodie looked immense on Caitlyn’s arms, draping around her delicate frame. Vi wanted to hold her close, to shield her from whatever it was that tormented her, even if it was her own mind, but from personal experience, Vi knew Caitlyn would have to make that decision on her own.
Vi continued, “My whole life, I felt like I was making up for something, you know? I’m sure it’s how you’ve felt this past year – needing to feel like you had to make amends.” Vi zoned out while she spoke, her eyes unfocused, yet the words flowed from her knowingly, just like the rivulets of water trickling down the old mausoleum roof, steady and pure. “I always felt like I needed something to live for, something to fight for. When I was in jail, that thing was Powder. When I got out, it was all about mending our relationship. It’s still about that, really. And then after Benzo, everything was going to shit again, but I adopted his dog and…” Vi smiled, recalling how tiny Jericho was then. “And as goofy as it sounds, he kept me going. He gave me purpose. Or maybe he distracted me so much I didn’t have time to think about anything else.”
Caitlyn huffed a chuckle from her nose, and Vi smiled back at her, grateful to know she was listening to every word.
“And then I met you,” Vi said simply. She shrugged as if it was the most obvious explanation anyone could give.
“Vi… I, I knew of course you were struggling, but I had no idea how much you were hurting. Even when we met, I mean.”
“I guess I didn’t either. You changed a lot of that, really.” Vi was laying it on thick, but everything she said was genuine. It ached to feel so much appreciation towards one person. It ached in another way entirely to lay it out in the open, to flay her heart out in hopes that Caitlyn could see how real this all was. “What I’m trying to say is you always find something new to live for. That’s what keeps you going. Not dwelling on the past.”
Vi scattered her gaze back over to Caitlyn. She seemed to not be as despondent now, broken from the hazy spell of self-hatred, she instead appeared to be hanging on to Vi’s every word, her eyes focused and shimmery like moonstones. Even still, doubt hung there, emanating from her aura like the timid energy of a kicked puppy.
“But why?” she asked. “Why does it have to be that way? Why would… why would God make it so we needed to have reasons to move on?”
Vi weighed Caitlyn’s words, wetting her lips before she spoke. “I can’t answer a question that big. Not for you, or me, or anyone. All I know is the love and friendship you’ve shown me the past few months has made me forget a lot of pain. If we need reasons,” Vi shrugged again, as if to downplay the significance of what she was about to say, “I’m glad I’ve had you to show me what happiness looks like again.”
Caitlyn’s face softened, looking like a fresh wave of tears was nearly going to wreck her all over again. “You really think that? You think I can be… good? That good?”
Vi let out a small sound akin to a scoff. Not in a rude way, but rather more like disbelief. “Yes. Of course. Cait… You are that good. I—I don’t know if you’re religious or not, or if you’re still figuring all that out. But speaking for myself, all I know is if what people say is true, if God is love and goodness and all those other things, then we should be loving and worshiping and believing in things that are good.” Vi looked away. She worried at her bottom lip. “Like you.”
She was vaguely aware of the heat that warmed her face. Oh that was… too much. She never opened up like this with anyone, and now here she was, talking about worshipping Caitlyn like a lovesick loser.
Finally, Vi looked back to Caitlyn, stared into her eyes and saw the flicker of her pupil, of the knowingness there. Of the acceptance. Of being seen.
And hell, maybe Vi felt seen too.
Maybe she’d felt that connection ever since they met, ever since the little cemetery she worked at brought the both of them together – two weary souls, searching for meaning in a world of desolation, gravitating towards the same graveyard that housed the empty promises they’d kept and the feelings they’d shackled, wanting nothing more than to keep their respective promises but feeling impeded by the weight of sin pressing between their shoulder blades as they waded through life. Maybe they felt the exact same. And then met at just the right time, Vi wondered. Two people, looking for answers. Searching for hope.
Vi saw hope glinting in Caitlyn’s eyes now.
They didn’t need to speak to close the distance. Their mouths collided with fervor, and Vi knew she’d said the right thing.
And it was a thing she believed in, for once.
Vi grunted from the force Caitlyn used to kiss her, startled by the urgency. She reached up to swipe away a strand of Caitlyn’s hair from within their mouths, gripping the sides of her face as they kissed deeper. Vi plunged her tongue into Caitlyn’s mouth, wanting to meld together. She sought oneness.
Vi could taste the salt from Caitlyn’s tears on her tongue, got lost in the sweetness of her breath.
Then Vi recognized Caitlyn’s hands on her, lingering now under the hem of her shirt, her skin set aflame where Caitlyn fingers grazed her hips.
“Cait, Cait, hold on,” Vi said, ruefully breaking away and reaching towards Caitlyn’s hands with her own. “I—I want to, but maybe we should slow down. You’re—”
Desperation crackled in Caitlyn’s voice like a melting glacier. “No, Vi. Don’t worry about me. I’m okay. I’m better, in fact, so much better. I don’t want to stop. If—if it’s okay with yo—”
Vi only moaned as their lips clashed together again. That was all she needed to hear.
Caitlyn continued pawing her hands at Vi’s hoodie, and Vi moved back to grin. “Eager, Cupcake?” Caitlyn only bit her lip and continued, ripping a pleased laugh from Vi’s chest. It was so freeing to be wanted so innocently, to have that want reciprocated. “Okay, okay. Down girl.” Vi reached behind her to tug off her hoodie, casting it to the side.
“This too,” Caitlyn urged, and Vi kept smiling when she removed her shirt and let it flop to the ground.
The revelation was made that Vi wasn’t wearing a bra, and now, Caitlyn was the one made speechless.
Her eyes darkened as she greedily drank up the sight before her, Vi’s torso, sculpted by marble, yet soft in all the right places. She stared intensely as though committing the visual to memory. Caitlyn threw herself onto Vi’s lap and Vi barked out a laugh. Caitlyn straddled Vi’s hips and kissed alongside her jaw, up towards her ear, back down to her neck. She palmed at Vi’s breasts, pinched a nipple. She moaned softly as Vi grunted, as if she were taking more pleasure in making Vi feel this way than Vi was from being touched. Caitlyn caressed Vi’s upper abs with adoration. What a joy to be marveled by such beauty. How could Vi ever deserve such a thing?
Caitlyn’s hands were dangerously low now, and Vi could feel a familiar heat bloom between her legs in anticipation.
Vi moved her mouth up to Caitlyn’s ear.
“Maybe we should take this to my room?”
Caitlyn nodded into Vi’s neck, and Vi rumbled a laugh. She stood from the couch, hoisting Caitlyn up with her hands underneath Caitlyn’s thighs, who wrapped her arms around Vi’s neck with a squeal.
Vi stumbled through the apartment until she reached her bed, setting Caitlyn down on it gently.
“It’s a shame I have to take you out of that,” Vi said, nodding at Caitlyn’s torso while she kicked off her own sweatpants. “You look so good in my hoodie.”
Caitlyn smiled coyly, taking in the sight of Vi in only her dark boxer briefs. “Maybe I should borrow your clothes more often.”
Just as Vi was about to respond, she flinched, feeling something cold and wet press into the back of her thigh.
“Oh. Jerry…” Vi scolded as she turned around. Jericho was there, panting and wagging his tail, looking like he’d done something he knew was funny. “Sorry,” Vi said quickly to Caitlyn, “Let me just, put him away.” She scrambled to the floor, picking up a bone he’d been chewing on, and led him to his crate. Once he was put away, she went back to the bed and stopped in her tracks.
Caitlyn was in her bra and panties, posed just as she was before, sitting as if nothing had changed.
“What’s that expression for?” she toyed.
Vi realized her mouth was open. “I just, wanted to be the one to undress you, is all,” she said, trying to play it off and failing, miserably. She walked up to Caitlyn until she stood between her open thighs that were dangling off the edge of the bed.
“Well. I’m still dressed, aren’t I?”
Vi could only stare back dumbfounded. She might have dreamt about this before, she couldn’t be sure. Maybe she was dreaming now – it was the only thing that could explain her luck.
Caitlyn’s eyes were still red-rimmed, but the sadness was long gone. Vi felt so much adoration. She cared so strongly about Caitlyn feeling better that if she wanted to stop Vi wouldn’t hesitate. But the dark look in Caitlyn’s hooded eyes made Vi think Caitlyn had no intention of stopping.
Vi moved in closer, running her fingers along her neck, back into her hair. “Are you sure?” she whispered in Caitlyn’s ear. Caitlyn’s pulse thrummed under her hands.
“Yes. God Vi, yes. I’ve never been more sure about something. I’ve wanted you since I first saw you,” Caitlyn said, all but moaning with want. Vi couldn’t help but chuckle at the memory. “A bit uncouth perhaps, but it’s true,” Caitlyn added with a smile in her voice.
Vi kneeled on the bed, hovering over Caitlyn’s hips. She moved from her ear to bury her face in Caitlyn’s neck, inhaling deeply.
Caitlyn giggled.
“Sorry. Was that weird?”
“Mm. No. It was hot, actually.”
“Well, what can I say,” Vi said, moving her hands behind Caitlyn’s back to undo the bra clasp, “you smell good, Cupcake.”
Vi peeled off Caitlyn’s bra. She stared at her breasts, slack jawed.
“Who’s the eager one now?” Caitlyn danced her fingertip along Vi’s jaw, flicking up underneath Vi’s chin.
“Me,” Vi admitted. “It’s always been me.” She moved down, her tongue darting out to lick a dusky nipple. She lathed her tongue around it, sucking gently, moaning when Caitlyn’s hands pulled her hair. It’s been so long since Vi had done this. It’s the first time she’s done this and felt as though it were meaningful.
Caitlyn sighed as Vi worked, one tit held captive by her mouth, the other by her large hand. Caitlyn moved her hands to wrap around Vi’s back, roving over her shoulders, her back.
“I love how strong you are.”
Vi hummed in response, her mouth, occupied. It didn’t take long for Caitlyn’s hips to begin rocking, seeking friction. A small canting upwards. An invitation.
“Please, Vi.”
Vi released her nipple, shiny with saliva. “What do you want, pretty girl?”
Caitlyn bit her lip, her pupils blown. She nearly looked to be in a state of agony. “I want what you want. Please, just touch me.”
Vi wanted nothing more than to soothe that desperation. “Yes, ma’am.”
Vi traced her hands carefully down the length of Caitlyn’s body, herself scootching down and off the end of the bed. She brought Caitlyn’s hips towards the edge, and she could swear Caitlyn’s eyes were black with how much she wanted. Vi kissed Caitlyn’s abdomen, loving the give there. Her skin was so soft. Vi couldn’t help but brush her lips against Caitlyn’s hips, gently nipping, before moving between her thighs.
Caitlyn helped Vi remove her underwear. When it was mindlessly discarded, Vi’s hands returned to their previous spot caressing Caitlyn’s hips. She focused her attention to Caitlyn, looking up to meet her gaze before beginning her benediction.
Vi’s tongue darted out, searching for a taste. When she found it, she groaned, the taste sweeter than innocence.
Caitlyn’s hands were steepled in Vi’s hair, dark pink locks threaded between her fingers. She gripped only harder when Vi’s tongue moved upwards towards her clit.
There it was. Caitlyn’s gasp. Vi’s heart sang when she heard it, her own underwear flooding with wetness. Caitlyn was so sexy without even trying to be. Her sounds were an incantation, invoking Vi to lick and suck.
Vi could stay in this position forever, if only it meant she could continue worshipping dutifully – kneeling on the ground with her head bent forward, eyes closed with reverence, hands clinging to heated beauty, grasping in repentance. The soft skin of Caitlyn’s thighs grounded her. The arousal that coated her lips and chin, blessing her. This was her altar. This was where she belonged.
Caitlyn must have been pent up, because it was only a couple minutes of stroking with Vi’s tongue before her grip on Vi’s hair tightened, her hips rising and falling in steady jolts, seeking more pressure from Vi’s mouth.
Vi wanted her to forget her pain, her regret, her worry… She wanted Caitlyn spent and left boneless in her bed. She wanted her to transcend, to receive a blessing that only she could give – the only one that Caitlyn wanted. The blessing of her tongue’s ministrations, yes, but also the trust that came with it all – the knowledge that she wasn’t alone.
“Vi… I—” Caitlyn managed to say in a breathy whine. Music to Vi’s ears – a hymn only meant for her.
Wanting to speak but wanting even more to ensure Caitlyn’s pleasure remained uninterrupted, Vi continued lapping at Caitlyn’s hardened bud. Caitlyn’s breaths increased, a choir of little, hopeless sounds being whisked from her. Her chest rose and fell rapidly until all at once she seized, her thighs squeezing together hard around Vi’s head. What began as a tortured sigh turned into a drawn-out whine. Vi didn’t relent, wanting to prolong that beautiful sound for as long as possible. So raw, so feminine, so… fuck, Vi could feel her own slick dripping out of her at this point. She wanted to hear that sound again and again.
Caitlyn’s death grip released and she gently pushed against Vi’s forehead. Vi pulled away, ears ringing, and gave Caitlyn a dopey smile before wiping her face.
“Can you do that little whine again for me, baby? Fuck, you’re so perfect.”
Caitlyn’s cheeks were flushed from the activity, but turned an even darker shade of red at Vi’s words.
“W-whine?”
Her question was cut off with a sharp gasp when Vi reached back between her legs and drew circles around Caitlyn’s clit.
“Yes, like that,” Vi said with a smirk.
“You—” Caitlyn started in an accusing tone, but it melted away the longer Vi continued. “Fuck. I’ll make whatever sounds you want if you keep that on.”
“Can I give you more?” Vi asked, slowing her strokes.
“Mhm,” Caitlyn acknowledged. She wrapped her arms around Vi’s neck, holding her in place like a vise.
Vi’s fingertips moved down, pausing at her entrance. “Is this okay? I can wear something if you want more,” she said, mentally cataloguing the items she had stowed away in her nightstand just a few feet away.
“No. You’re perfect, I just want to feel you.”
“Okay, angel,” Vi said with a smile. She kissed sweetly at Caitlyn’s temples and down the side of her face. She still stood on the floor, her left arm wrapped around Caitlyn’s back while her right hand remained buried in between Caitlyn’s legs.
Vi was cautious, easing into Caitlyn with only one finger. She was so warm and wet and enveloping.
“God Vi, more. Please.”
Vi drove in a second finger and Caitlyn gasped. Vi couldn’t help herself, smiling proudly.
She began to work her, easing in and out and making sure to crook her fingers to massage that wonderful, spongey spot that nearly broke Vi’s wrist when she first grazed it, Caitlyn’s legs clamping around her so ardently.
Caitlyn was panting, and Vi glanced down to see why she was suddenly shaking so violently.
Caitlyn’s abs were trembling with the weight of both being pleasured and holding herself up while she sat. Her teeth gritted in concentration.
“Here Cait,” Vi said, “let’s lay down.”
To Caitlyn’s dismay, Vi carefully extracted her fingers so they could begin their awkward shuffling and scootching backward on the bed so both women were atop it. Caitlyn lay down while Vi hovered above her.
“There, that’s better.”
Vi began again, slowly easing two fingers in, and it took no time at all for Caitlyn to resume her plaintive praises of soft sighs and whines.
She shakily snaked an arm down between them, and Vi nearly combusted when she saw Caitlyn begin rubbing at her own clit.
“Fuck Cait.” Vi nodded dumbly as she looked in her eyes. “Yes, just like that. Do whatever you need. Fuck you’re so hot.”
Vi pumped into her, the sweet, erotic sounds of sex lustfully sinful. Soon Caitlyn’s eyelids wavered, beginning to close and her grip on Vi’s back tightened, her pace on her clit, quickening. She came again, unabashedly, all worry wiped clean off her face. All that remained was pure, rapturous bliss.
Vi slowed her pace, easing Caitlyn in the come down. She removed her fingers from her heat, a trail of slick accompanying.
Vi leaned down to pepper Caitlyn’s neck with kisses. She kissed and savored, trailing down to her breasts as Caitlyn’s chest heaved. She continued to move southward when Caitlyn spoke.
“Vi, Vi, wait.”
She glanced up attentively.
“Slow down,” Caitlyn added.
“I just want to give you more,” Vi said adoringly, moving back up her body so they were eye-level.
Caitlyn smiled. “And has the thought ever occurred to you that I’d like to touch you instead?”
Vi swallowed. “I… I don’t know.”
“Is someone shy?” Caitlyn teased.
A new wave of heat burned Vi’s cheeks. Caitlyn’s gaze was overtly intense; it held her captive, more so than when Caitlyn’s arms were wrapped tight around her.
“Uh…”
“Maybe I should just do less talking and more touching,” Caitlyn relented. Her hand reached up between Vi’s thighs and grazed against her. Caitlyn’s eyes bulged while Vi gasped. She was so wet there was no way Caitlyn couldn’t tell, even with her boxers still on.
Caitlyn bit her lip, and with sure fingers, traveled underneath the waistband of Vi’s boxers and past her curls until she met the wet heat of her eager folds.
Vi hissed with pleasure, her hands gripping hard against her bedsheets on either side of Caitlyn’s shoulders.
Caitlyn hummed knowingly before teasing upwards, having no trouble at all locating Vi’s hardened bud.
“Fuck.”
Caitlyn was relentless now; she kissed and nipped at Vi’s neck, whispering affirmations in her ear. Her free hand teased at her nipples, caressed her abs.
Vi’s arms were shaking but she didn’t want to move, didn’t want to interrupt what blissful work Caitlyn was treating her with. Vi was at Caitlyn’s mercy, ready to go wherever she took her, whether that was the gates to oblivion or the grand entrance to divinity. With the way Caitlyn doted on her, it had to be the latter.
“Cait,” Vi said. She repeated it. Again and again, like a mantra.
Like a prayer.
“Caitlyn.”
Vi clenched hard when she came, grunting and shaking and sputtering while Caitlyn coaxed every ounce of pleasure out of her, wringing it from her like angelic notes from a harp, fingers expertly dancing across the strings.
Vi collapsed in a heap onto Catilyn’s body, breathing heavily with her face tucked under Caitlyn’s chin.
“Holy fuck.”
Literally.
Caitlyn held her, kissing her forehead. She played with her hair. Traced the patterns of the tattoo on her back.
What miraculous luck. What divine intervention. Vi breathed in Caitlyn’s flowery scent tinged with sweat and simply felt at ease. At peace, knowing not only was she not alone, but that someone else so good and so pure trusted her with abundant capacity.
What greater pleasure could there be to wield such responsibility? What greater purpose?
“I hope you’re not too tired yet,” Caitlyn ghosted in Vi’s ear. “I had great hopes to taste you.”
Vi was still for only a moment more before she lifted her body high enough to clumsily rid herself of her boxers, a carefree smile accompanying Caitlyn’s laugh.
--
Vi was stirred awake by the scraping of nails against the floor of the crate. Little, wolfy whines pulled her out from her drowsy stupor. She clung tighter to Caitlyn’s body, relishing the warmth that melted off of her. Her bed was so warm, for once. So soft and warm and safe. The idea of leaving it now felt like a crime punishable by death.
There was more whining and scraping.
Vi groaned, stuffing her face farther into Caitlyn’s hair.
“Is that Jerry?” Caitlyn asked groggily.
“Yes,” Vi said, groaning again. “He needs to go out.” She shivered, imagining the wind and snow that awaited her outside. Then she turned her attention to the crate against the far wall. “Jerry, buddy, it’s my day off. You can’t hold it for another like, twenty minutes?” she asked rhetorically. She flopped her head back down, and skimmed her palms across Caitlyn’s abdomen, soft like satin.
“I have to get going anyway.”
Vi’s heart lurched into her throat, and she was sure she looked panicked.
“Oh, don’t worry, sweetheart,” Caitlyn cooed. “I meant of course for you to join me as well. Jerry too, of course. In fact, I’d very much appreciate your help – I may need assistance moving around some agility equipment to begin assessing what needs mending. Much of it has been out of use for far too long, and I think now it’s time to change that.” She paused, assessing Vi’s face, trying to get a read on how she felt. “So… would you like to come over?”
Vi smiled a toothy grin. “’Come over’ as in like… have a sleepover?”
Caitlyn giggled, rolling her eyes. “Yes, darling. As in, have a sleepover.”
Vi took in a deep breath. She looked reverently at the woman in her arms, and exhaled.
“Yes, I’d like that very much.”