Chapter Text
Javier hadn’t been home that long before he started realizing that maybe leaving the DEA wasn’t a good choice. He had grown accustomed to late—some even sleepless—nights filled with chaos and danger wherever he went back in Colombia.
There were moments he’d reach behind him, a phantom of a gun that used to rest at the waistband of his jeans. He traded a life of corruption for a simpler, more normal life back home.
He should’ve welcomed the quiet.
Appreciated the stillness.
But instead, it kept him up every night. Javier would try to overwork himself during the day, just hoping that he’d get a few hours of restful sleep, but it never came. His father would try to get his mind off of what happened in Colombia, working alongside him during the day, bringing him on trips to the town.
But his father wasn’t stupid. He understood the toll it took on Javier. How he’d always look over his shoulder or even scan the area multiple times. Sometimes, he’d catch him flinching when a sudden noise came out of nowhere.
And always, he’d see his son reach for nothing behind his back. He figured it was a habit, something he developed when he was in Colombia.
They’ve had serious conversations here and there, but every time his father would try to reason with him, tell him that he served his country, Javier would shut it down.
Nothing about his time in the DEA felt like an accomplishment.
He wasn’t there when Pablo Escobar was taken down.
And it wasn’t like it mattered anyway. Javier was naive in believing that it would’ve stopped with Pablo—that the other cartels would understand how serious they were.
But everything he went through, the things he had to do or the things he had seen, felt like it was all for nothing. He tried to make a difference, tried to make things right, but at the end of it all, Javier knew they never had a chance.
So, he left the DEA.
But the trauma and memories remained.
He used alcohol to numb it on most nights, smoked cigarettes every day to ease his nerves.
They didn’t work.
It never did.
------
“Javier, mijo, can you go into town and get me a couple of coffee beans from the local coffee shop?” His father, Chucho, asked.
“Isn’t it too late?”
Chucho clicked his tongue. “I think she’s open for another hour.”
Javier sighed, grabbed a cigarette and placed it between his lips. “Okay,” he said. “What’s the coffee shop called?”
Chucho smiled. “It’s a new one, called Tahanan Cafe.”
“Tahanan?” Javier repeated.
“Yeah, means home in Tagalog.” Chucho answered. “Get me two bags, okay? I haven’t had the chance to go myself, but I’ve heard great things.”
Javier nodded, lit up his cigarette and grabbed his keys off the counter. “I’ll be back.”
“Drive safe,” the older man said.
Javier left the house to walk towards his truck. It was almost eight o’clock, so he knew he had to get to the coffee shop soon. He didn’t mind running errands for his father—it helped him get out of his mind when he had something to do.
As he was driving, Javier took a puff of his cigarette, arm dangling outside the window in the night air. He focused on driving, though his mind started to drift.
He knew it was going to be another sleepless night, so he figured that he’d get a bottle of tequila on his way home after picking up the beans like his father asked.
It took about twenty minutes to get to the coffee shop. Javier repeatedly inhaled and exhaled the smoke before stomping on the cigarette with the end of his boot. The parking lot was empty and the coffee shop was smaller than he expected.
When he stepped inside, he looked around with piqued interest. There was a small sofa on one end of the coffee shop and he figured that the younger crowd must love hanging out here—it felt oddly cozy and… safe.
He spotted the coffee beans and grabbed two bags.
But it wasn’t until he heard your voice that he turned around and cleared his throat.
Javier had come to the conclusion that getting into a serious and committed relationship just wasn’t what he wanted. Not after Lorraine and certainly not after the amount of sex and one night stands he had in Colombia.
He felt better alone.
He didn’t need to let anyone in… because if he did, then they’d see how truly messed up he was.
“Hi,” you said. Your smile was so bright, eyes glimmering with such kindness and warmth that Javier was speechless.
He blinked at you.
Tightened the grip around the two bags of coffee beans.
“Are you okay?” You asked, stepping closer to him.
Javier instinctively stepped back. He didn’t look away—couldn’t—look away. He was mesmerized.
Just as he was about to open his mouth to say something, the door opened and a younger couple stepped inside.
“I’ll give you some time to look around,” you told him. “I’m closing up soon, so… if you need any help, just let me know.”
Javier nodded.
Then, he watched you disappear behind the counter to greet the younger couple.
Your smile remained.
But your gaze kept flickering back to him.
Javier sighed, brought a shaky hand up to rub the back of his neck.
God, he wanted a cigarette again.
It took you about five minutes to ring up the young couple and make their drinks. When they left, Javier watched you turn the open sign to closed.
That was when he finally spoke.
“Shit, I’m sorry,” he sighed. “Uh, are these good beans?”
You walked over to him again. The corner of your lips lifted, but the look in your eyes remained warm.
Kind.
Safe.
“They’re a fan favorite,” you answered. “Do you want to try a cup?”
“Oh,” Javier shook his head. “I don’t want to impose. These are for my father anyway and—”
“You’re not imposing,” you interrupted with a quiet laugh.
Javier bit his lower lip. Felt the warmth spread along his cheeks.
“I’ll be throwing out the coffee I made anyway, so… how about I grab you a cup and you let me know if you like it?”
“Okay, sure,” he answered. “As long as it’s not a problem.”
“I’m offering, silly,” you smiled. “It’s no problem at all. Make yourself comfortable. I’ll bring you that cup.”
“Thank you,” he said.
You told him your name and he repeated it back to you.
“I’m Javier,” he replied.
“Javier,” you repeated as well. “It suits you.”
Javier felt a small smile creep up on his lips before he moved to sit at one of the tables in the corner, with his back against the wall. With this perspective, he had an entire view of the coffee shop and entrance. Since the DEA, there were habits that he had taken back home with him.
This being one of them.
Javier hated having his back exposed.
It meant leaving him vulnerable, open for sudden attacks.
After a few minutes, Javier straightened in his seat when you walked over to him with a cup of steaming hot coffee. You set it down in front of him and then crossed your arms over your chest.
“Be honest,” you smiled. “Let me know what you think.”
Javier nodded, carefully picked up the mug and brought it to his lips. He was careful not to burn his tongue, but once he swallowed the dark liquid, he couldn’t help but nod in approval.
“It’s a dark roast,” he pointed out.
“It is,” you said, impressed. “Do you know a lot about coffee?”
Javier shook his head. “That’s as much as I know,” he chuckled.
You laughed again. Javier felt his stomach flip.
“Well, do you like it?”
He nodded. “Yeah, I think my father will like it too.”
“Great,” you smiled. “How about you finish your cup of coffee and I’ll ring you up once you’re done?”
He shook his head again. “You’re closing up. I should really be leaving—”
“Stay,” you said quietly. “Besides, maybe I need a strong man to protect me while I clean up.”
Javier felt the warmth in his cheeks blossom into the tips of his ears. “Do you need protecting?”
You shook your head with a smile. “No, but just stay. You’re not bothering me and really, I like the company.”
“Okay,” he said. “If you need help—”
“I got it,” you laughed quietly. “Not my first time closing up.”
Javier watched you walk away from the table he was sitting at and just like his old habits, he couldn’t help but allow his eyes to deviate to your backside. The jeans you were wearing clung to you so perfectly, causing him to shift in his chair. He sighed to himself, eyes drifting down to the mug in front of him.
He read the print on the mug: Tahanan Cafe.
Chucho had told him that Tahanan meant home, but he couldn’t help but wonder how truly warm and cozy it felt too. For months, he had been struggling to ease his way into a normal life after Colombia. Even when he was home, it didn’t really feel like it.
But when he stepped foot in here and saw you, Javier couldn’t put into words the immediate sense of safety he felt.
It felt like he could breathe.
Like the heaviness that was weighing him down couldn’t touch him here.
------
You finished closing up after about forty five minutes and Javier had stood up to walk towards the register. He set the empty mug down and then pulled out his wallet to go and pay. He inhaled sharply when he felt your soft hand rest over his.
“Pay me tomorrow,” you said.
“What?”
“I already closed the register and I don’t want to have to count it all again,” you answered. “So… come by tomorrow and pay me for the beans.”
“How about I leave you the cash now and you can charge me tomorrow?” Javier asked.
You smiled, but you didn’t budge. “What if I want to see you tomorrow?”
Javier’s eyes widened just slightly. “I—Uh, I—” Javier sighed, moving a hand to his pocket. He was used to women throwing themselves at him, but not like this.
Because you were subtle about it.
Nothing about the way you were looking at him or talking to him told him that you wanted something more.
But he also couldn’t help but feel like home around you.
“Is that too forward?” You asked. “I’m new here, so I’m just trying to many friends,” you shrugged. “If it’s too much, I get it. I’m sorry and—”
“I’ll be here,” Javier interrupted.
Your eyes flickered with excitement. “Yeah?”
He smiled. “You have good coffee and I like the company too, so it’s a win-win.”
Javier watched you bite your lower lip.
He did the same.
“Well, thank you for stopping by, Javier.”
“Thank you for letting me stay past business hours,” he chuckled. “Do you live far from here?”
“Just walking distance,” you answered.
“Would it be okay if I walk you?” Javier asked. “You know, so you have a big strong man protecting you.”
You grinned.
Javier smiled.
“You’re not some murderer, are you? My parents tell me all the time that I’m too nice,” you teased.
Javier cleared his throat. His hand absentmindedly went to his lower back again. You didn’t need to know what he used to do for a living.
“No,” he answered. “Just someone whose mother raised to look out for women.”
You nodded. “Good woman,” you said.
“She was, yeah,” Javier nodded. “She passed when I was in college.”
“Oh,” you bit your lower lip. “I’m sorry.”
Javier shrugged and then followed you out of the coffee shop, one hand holding a bag of the coffee beans. “Thank you,” he nodded. “So, short walk, you said?”
“About ten minutes,” you answered.
“Do you always walk alone this late?”
“It’s almost nine,” you laughed quietly. “I wouldn’t consider this late.”
“But it’s dark,” he said.
“Well, guess there’s that.” You smiled. “But to answer your question, yes. I walk home every night.”
“Hm,” he said. Javier moved his free hand into the pocket of his jeans, itching for a cigarette. “Maybe I can walk you home again tomorrow or something.”
“You know, this is a small town,” you said. “It’s practically safe.”
“Can never be too sure,” Javier answered quickly.
You looked up at him. “You’re… mysterious.”
He chuckled. “I’d say I’m just quiet.”
“Have you always been?”
Javier shook his head. “No,” he answered, but didn’t elaborate further.
You got the hint. Didn’t push anymore.
“You’ll have to let me know how your dad likes the coffee,” you said, changing the subject.
“He’s been wanting to try out your coffee shop,” he said. “Told me that it’s pretty new.”
You nodded. “It is,” you answered. “Wanted to open up my own coffee shop in a small town.”
“And Tahanan? My father said that means home in Tagalog.”
You grinned. “He’d be right. Literally, it means home… but to me, growing up, it meant so much more.”
“Like what?”
“It always meant a place of safety, a place of refuge to find peace and comfort in,” you answered. “Like a sanctuary, usually with family,” you smiled.
Javier looked down at you as you both continued to walk. It made sense. Stepping foot into your coffee shop truly felt like a sanctuary that he didn’t know he needed.
“I like that,” he said quietly.
“Glad you think so,” you grinned. “My family would certainly prefer if I had opened the coffee shop back home, but… I’ve fallen in love with this place.”
“And where is home for you?”
“California,” you answered. “Traded a big city for a small town. Guess I was craving the quiet of it all,” you said.
Javier looked down at his feet as he continued to walk alongside you, biting his lower lip. “Yeah, it can get real quiet here,” he added.
“It’s nice,” you pointed out. “Peaceful. Gives me space to think. Back in California, I felt rushed all the time… like I was missing moments because I was so focused on the next thing.”
“Do you miss it?”
“I miss my family,” you answered. “But they visit here pretty often and I try to go back home at least twice a year.”
Javier nodded. “So, very family oriented then.”
You smiled. “Yeah,” you said, staring up at him. “What about you? Is it just you and your dad?”
Javier glanced at you, an apartment complex coming to view. He realized he didn’t want this conversation to end—he enjoyed listening to you talk, to see the way your face lit up when you talked about your family. “That’s right, just me and him.”
“Well, I’m sure he’s lucky to have you,” you said softly. “Maybe one of these days, you can bring him by.”
“Oh, he’d love that,” Javier chuckled. “He’s been wanting to try out your coffee shop since you opened, I think.”
You smiled. “That’s sweet,” you said, resting a hand on his arm lightly. “Tell him I appreciate the support and hope to meet him one day.”
Javier looked down at you. He tightened his jaw slightly at the feel of your touch against him. It was like he didn’t want to leave you, afraid of being alone with his thoughts all over again.
“Well, this is me,” you said, dropping your hand. “Thank you for walking me, Javier.”
He nodded, let the corner of his lips lift just slightly. “Anytime,” Javier answered. “And I’ll be back tomorrow night, so maybe I can walk you home again.”
“You know,” you laughed quietly, fishing for your keys from your bag. “I’m a creature of habit… I might start getting used to you walking me home.”
Javier chuckled, felt the tension in his shoulder relax. “I am too,” he said. “So maybe, we make it a routine.”
You smiled up at him. “Coffee and a walk home? I’d like that.”
“Me too,” Javier smiled.
You noticed the dimple on his right cheek and immediately, your smile grew. “You’re easy to talk to, Javier.”
“I was just gonna say the same thing,” he said.
“Well then,” you replied, unlocking your front door. You looked up at him and gently extended your hand out for him to shake. “It was nice meeting you, Javier. I look forward to tomorrow.”
Javier smiled, reached down and shook your hand gently. His deep brown eyes looked into your own, his large hand encompassing our own. “Until tomorrow then, cariño” he whispered.
You bit your lower lip. “Good night, Javier.”
“Good night.”
Javier waited until you were inside your home, until he heard the sound of you locking the door, to walk away. He glanced over at his shoulder at your apartment building and smiled to himself.
For once since coming home, Javier was looking forward to something.
And he no longer felt the need to buy that bottle of tequila to help him sleep tonight.
Because he was excited—eager to see you again tomorrow.
------
Javier arrived back home in time to see his father set a mug down in the sink. He kicked off his boots and set the two bags of coffee beans down on the counter.
“Coffee shop is nice,” Javier said quietly.
Chucho smiled. “I knew you’d think so. You’re back a little late, no? Stop by somewhere else?”
He shook his head. “No, I—I was talking to the owner. Walked her home.”
A knowing glint in Chucho’s eyes appeared. He walked over to Javier and gently clasped a hand on his son’s shoulder. “And?”
“And she was nice,” Javier answered. “I’ve gotta go back again tomorrow.”
“Oh?”
“She had closed the register, so I couldn’t properly pay for the coffee beans.”
Chucho smiled. “Well, I’m glad you made a friend, Javi.”
He nodded and looked down at his feet, his mind drifting to you momentarily. “You going to bed?”
“Sí, mijo,” Chucho said. “Early morning tomorrow.”
“Buenas noches, Papá,” Javier replied.
“Buenas noches, Javi. Try and get some rest, okay?”
Javier nodded. Didn’t say he’d try, didn’t acknowledge that he was having a hard time sleeping. He just nodded and watched his father walk down the hallway and into his own bedroom.
When he finally got to his room, he shut the door and sat on the edge of the bed. With a heavy sigh, Javier laid back and stared up at the ceiling.
A small smile lined his lips.
All he could think about was you.
Which was a nice break from the dark thoughts that would usually consume him at night.