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Aki didn’t know how he ended up beside Angel again, standing on a rooftop overlooking the city. It was quieter at night, leaving silence between the two other than the occasional noises of city-life.
Despite quitting smoking, he ended up back where he started. After the incident with the bomb-devil, he felt he could let himself smoke freely again for a while.
He let Angel Devil get a cone of ice cream tonight, just to keep things even.
Angel seemed content for the time-being, standing distant from Aki but close enough for conversation. His eyes linger on the occasional passerby down on the sidewalk, watching people go about their lives after dark.
He’s been distant lately, Aki could tell. He wasn’t sure why it bothered him that the devil was being that way. Distance should be a good thing when it comes to something like him, but it wasn’t like he posed much of a risk while Aki wore gloves.
“There’s a couple in an alleyway near that store.” Angel points out, lifting a finger towards the two.
It’s a man and a woman, differing in age and status it seems. Aki could tell by the lack of a ring on the woman’s finger yet the presence of one on the man. It made him feel a little disgusted.
“They’re not a couple.”
Angel tilts his head, looking towards Aki currently pulling out a cigarette from a box. “They’re kissing.”
“He’s cheating on his wife, they’re having an affair.”
“An affair? Humans are so odd.”
“Some are, that guy certainly is.”
“Do you have negative feelings about those kind of people? You do come off as the traditional type.”
“I just don’t like those who go against their vows. If you don’t love someone— you shouldn’t be together. Even if it hurts them for you to say that.”
“You sound like you have experience, it’s a surprise.” Angel drawls, still eating his ice cream as the wind rustles around both. “You seem like a duty before love sort of man.”
Aki’s body lurches at that, he hasn’t had much time to want much for himself. Love isn’t something he had considered; even if it was, his idea of it was skewed and sour. He didn’t hate Himeno for how she made him feel, but he didn’t particularly feel it was love.
“We weren’t— together, exactly. I’m not sure how to feel about our relationship really.”
Aki brings his cigarette to his mouth, using his thumb to flick his lighter. A small flame ignited, simmering the ends of the cigarette and letting its scent waft into the night.
Angel didn’t care for romance, he didn’t care for anything now. But he had a similar feeling, maybe not exactly the same as Aki’s but he didn’t know how to feel about his own past relationships either; he could barely remember them.
“I had a lover once, I think so at least.”
Aki cocks his head quickly, surprised to hear that from a devil, Angel at that. “You did?”
“Yes. It’s all foggy though.”
“You could ask Makima, you said she brought you from your village didn’t you?”
“Captured, yes. I don’t want to ask her.” Angel knew by telling her, she’d do something bad, he could feel it. He hated everything about her and yet he couldn’t exactly answer why to himself or Aki.
She captured him but her presence itself gnawed at him constantly, there had to be more. It was like he wanted to run away from her yet his legs wouldn’t move.
“You’re too lazy to ask, typical.” Aki decided, shaking his head at Angel’s supposed behavior.
It wasn’t right, but Angel didn’t correct him either. He settled for staring at the flame until Aki closed the lighter once more. “I guess.”
“Were they a woman?” Aki questioned, keeping his face away under the premise of puffing his cigarette smoke away from Angel.
“I think so. A human. I can’t imagine why I’d ever love one though.”
“I can’t imagine why one would love you either.”
Angel just continued to lick at his ice cream cone, it wasn’t like the words hurt; they were true.
He didn’t care about anything, but he can’t remember always being that way either. Sometimes he’d do things he usually wouldn’t, like— trying to help humans– Aki.
There was a part of himself that was missing.
He focused back on Aki smoking, the scent was getting stronger; it was almost impossible to ignore at this point.
“You shouldn’t smoke, human.” Angel comments.
Aki’s brow quirked, his eyes flickering to meet Angel’s questioningly. “I thought you didn’t care about humans?”
“I don’t.”
Aki grimaces, not seeming all that pleased with his answer. He puts out his cigarette anyway, crushing it beneath his shoe.
“Did she ever touch you?”
“That’s quite a perverted question, I didn’t take you for a pervert. It’s always the quiet ones.”
“I’m— ugh, I don’t know why I asked.”
…
Angel waits before giving a real response, he wasn’t sure how to answer in truthfulness. He speaks up nonetheless to fill the silence.
“I don’t think she did. I really don’t know.”
Angel doesn’t know anything. Did he ever touch her? Who was she? Was she a part of the village he was taken from? It felt like he was doing her an injustice by claiming she didn’t touch him. Maybe she did, or maybe she just wasn’t afraid to. His chest aches, it aches so badly and he can’t tell why.
His hands feel shaky, like there’s something wrong with his body and it’s screaming at him to notice. His ice cream falls to the floor of the rooftop, splattering its sugary contents in a puddle.
“What a waste.” Angel comments quietly, looking down at the ice cream. It sits heavy in his stomach now.
“You shouldn’t eat so much ice cream anyways. It’s like asking for death to come at your doorstep.”
The idea didn’t sound so bad to Angel. He didn’t say that aloud though, not after what Aki had done to save him. He shouldn’t feel indebted, he shouldn’t want to repay a human for their sacrifices; but it also felt like it was something he would’ve wanted long ago in a distant life.
“Can we get another?”
“It’s late, only convenience stores are open at this hour.”
“I don’t want to go back yet.”
Aki knew all about Angel Devil hating his living situation. He wasn’t sure why, it was hard to get a lot of information out of him. He also didn’t want to care, but he does anyway.
“You can stay with me tonight, I’ll make a reason up tomorrow. If anything, I can probably try and get Makima to sign off on it being permanent. She wants us to get along anyways—“
“Because I’m a tool for the both of you, I know.”
Aki’s lips tightened, looking down at the Angel Devil staring off at the city below them. It wasn’t like it was a secret, everyone makes it clear to Angel that he’s a tool and nothing more. Aki can relate, in so many ways. He feels like a tool himself, just more malleable than Angel.
“It’d be better for you than being there.” Aki responds, his tone softening in a way foreign to himself.
“I don’t care either way. Do what you want.” Angel concedes, making Aki grow frustrated and silent for a moment before continuing.
“I don’t see how you’re a useful tool. You're more trouble than you’re worth if you ask me.”
“You’re such a bad liar.”
“How am I lying?” Aki questions, growing defensive once more despite the Angel’s apathetic demeanor.
“You act like you don’t care when you do. You care so much about others and so little for yourself, you’re a fool.” He rests his head on his arms, growing tired of the conversation.
Aki’s chest tightens again, feeling vulnerable– seen, like Angel’s torn him open and looked inside where no one else cared to. “What the hell are you talking about?”
Angel looks at him, then back at the streets beneath them.
“If I jumped right now would you stop me?”
“You have wings.”
“I barely use them, I’ll be rusty.” He makes a show of ruffling them lazily.
“You wouldn’t—“
Angel pushes away from the railing, doing the most physical activity he’s done in days to use his arms and lift himself a bit from the ground with the rail’s help.
A gloved hand shoots out, grasping his waist and pulling him back to the floor. Its owner holds an angry expression at him.
“You care, even about devils.” Angel says, getting his balance back on the ground properly. Aki still seems anxious about him being so close to the railing of the rooftop.
“You care too, you’re a lousy liar when it comes to how you feel about humans.” Aki spits, jabbing his finger into the devil’s chest.
He’s seen it plenty of times, Angel claiming to want humans to suffer and yet doing the opposite constantly.
Angel pulls away swiftly, walking off to sit on an AC unit box with a plop. “I don’t care about humans.” He resolves.
Aki follows right behind him, his shadow covering Angel completely from his stance in front of him.
“Do you think I don’t notice? You’re worse than me.”
“I’m not.”
The same devil who uses his wings to block attacks on him, who takes care and caution not to touch animals or people, who does little things to make his day easier. Angel cares so much, and either he can’t see it himself or he doesn’t want to.
“Angel, you are.” Aki leans down, keeping his hands braced atop the unit on either side of Angel to stay level with him. “I’ve never met a devil who cares like you do. It makes me angry at myself, because I don’t know how to feel about you.”
“You—“
“I like you. I like being around you, Angel. You’re a bother, a lazy asshole who keeps his distance from everyone. But you don’t do it out of spite or hatred.”
Aki grabs Angel’s hand, running his gloved thumb over his knuckles and caressing the bare skin with a worshipping gaze. “You’ve been scared to touch me even when I have gloves on. I’ve already told you I’m not afraid.”
“You should be.”
“Well, I’m not.”
“I don’t want anything. I’m not someone you should be interested in pursuing a relationship with. You're still full of life, you should spend it far away from here.”
“I still have things I need to do. I don’t want much, I don’t usually do things for myself. I’ve already seen too much of you when you think I’m not looking. Now I want to see more.”
“I’m not like that all the time, I don’t understand myself.”
“I don’t either, but we seem to understand each other pretty well.”
“You humans are ridiculous.”
“I’m beginning to think you like ridiculous.”
Angel exhales loudly, trying to come off more exasperated than he really is. In truth, he’s afraid. For Aki.
“For once, let’s both try to do something for ourselves instead of being tools. If you don’t want more it’s alright, Angel. We can keep things separate from work.”
“So like an affair? Not a couple?”
“It’s not— okay, we’ll work on educating you later but yes, something like an affair.”
He debates it, staring at the gloved fingers still tracing the freckles on his hands. Aki reminds him of someone he can’t even remember, maybe that’s why he agrees,
“Okay, I'd like that.”
Aki smiles at his response, standing back up and keeping Angel’s hand held within his one. “Let’s go, it’s getting cold.”
“Are we going to walk there? The car is warmer.”
“It’s only five minutes away, maybe you could fly us there if you weren’t so lazy.”
“Walking it is. Do you think Denji and Power would mind me being there?”
“We already have a cat, adding a bird can’t be that bad.”
“Haha.” Angel responds dryly, lightly jabbing Aki. He smiles despite himself, lightly remembering someone else calling him calling him something similar long ago.
He still wants to remember, he wants to find the part of himself he’s missing; but he has a feeling Aki will be able to help him with this in his own way.
Maybe love is what he felt before; and it’s what he’s feeling now too.