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Zanka’s breath is knocked out of her chest as she cries out in pain, Mankira hitting deep into her stomach and forcing her onto the ground. Jabber watches as she falls, the same deep red that stains most of her uniform now drips off of Mankira.
“Mr. Bad Attitude, I think it’s bout time we end this show.”
Zanka tries to protest, but as she tries to stand, she is hit with a wave of pain, coughing up blood onto the ground beside her. She looks up at Jabber from her spot, who is looking down at her with a cold expression.
“N-o!” Her throat is torn up, and attempting to speak only makes it worse.
“Yeah, we’re all done here, see ya next time.”
Jabbers voice matches his cool tone, and her eyes widen, watching as he walks out of the building. The door of the desolate place closes, leaving her feeling as empty as the room she sits in.
Pain radiates through her body as she applies pressure to her side; the smaller gashes from their earlier fighting she could handle later, all she needs to do now is get home. The metal of Assistaff turns back to wood, the texture comforting in her grasp.
The walk is cold, the darkness seeming to eat her whole. She had thought the weather had just been getting warmer; maybe the blood loss had put a damper on her temperature-sensing abilities.
She knocks on the door before she remembers that she is supposed to be quiet, cursing at herself mentally, she begins to open it. Bright lights hurt her eyes.
Using Assistaff to support herself, she walks in, vision fading in and out.
“Zanka!”
Riyo rushes over to her, looking up her body and noticing the wounds.
“You’re shaking like a leaf. Come here.”
She puts Zanka’s hand over her shoulder and, with the help of Zanka using Assistaff, they make their way over to the medical center.
“Eishia,” Riyo calls out to her, making the woman look over to them, looking at the injured friend for a moment.
Eishia stands from her desk and her eyebrows furrow in worry as she walks up, taking Assistaff from Zanka’s almost limp grip and bringing them into an examination room.
“Could you please get him situated? I want to grab a few things.”
Riyo nods, taking Assistaff from her and leaning it against the wall, then whispering to herself more than Zanka, “Come on, up you go.”
Once she is laid out of the bed, Zanka looks up at them.
“M sorry.”
“S alright,”
They run their fingers through Zanka’s hair soothingly as Eishia comes back into the room. Handing Zanka an ice pack and frowning slightly.
Riyo backs up a bit, sitting down on a chair a meter away from the bed. Eishia places a hand on Zanka's collar bones and watches as the wounds slowly begin to close.
Once she gets done, she leads Riyo out of the room, leaving a half-conscious Zanka on the bed.
Zanka can hear them murmuring outside and groans as she reaches for Assistaff and stands, wobbly, the feeling of light-headedness and cold still weighing heavily on her.
"Zanka, what are you doing?" Riyo asks when Zanka walks out of the room, attempting to pass them.
"I ain't got no injuries that are gonna kill me anymore, m just wanta go to sleep."
Riyo looks over to Eishia, who, after a moment, nods. They still look unsure but speak again.
"Fine, wash up and come back in the morning, though."
Riyo supports Zanka and walks her back up to her room.
"Get some sleep, Zanka."
She nods and stumbles onto her bed after Riyo opens the door, giving a limp thumbs up and sighing as she hears them close the door and walk away.
Regardless of the treatment, which healed her worst wounds, her ears still ring, and the pain has yet to leave her head. She covers herself with blankets and nudges her face into the coolness of her bed, which makes her shiver.
"Zanki~" She hears a voice and opens her eyes.
She stands in the battlefield once again, Jabber looming in front of her as she stands strong.
"Where did ya go?" His voice sounds confused.
Her eyes furrow as she looks around, her eyes catch at the fabric of her uniform, and blooming red spots grow like flowers over the white mass.
"I'm right-"
A force at her back drags her down, lying against the ground as Jabber walks up to her, a few of Mankira's claws holding her face.
"To think I had hope for you, Zanka." Voice twisting from confusion to mocking, he frowns at her.
The claws dig deeper, and while no pain is felt, fear floods her body.
"Thought you'd at least be a good fight, but no- turns out they were all right about you. You’re just some weak, pathetic boy who can only dream of greatness." Her eyes widen as she drinks his words in.
With an unseen amount of force, she knows her skull had broken under Mankiras minstrations, somehow, suddenly she is standing again, only to fall backward, she tries to scream as a deep black nothing invades her vision, but no sound comes out.
She wakes with a jump, body shooting up in her bed.
"Fuckin-"
Her heart pounds in her chest as her hands find her face; light streaks of red show from where she had been digging them into flesh while she was dreaming. A cool wetness of tears touches her hand, mixing with the deeper color almost hypnotically on pale flesh.
A whimper tears its way through her body. God, that was fucking terrible. Her chest seems to open, A cold and empty void threatening to eat her resides where the beating of her heart lies.
"Pathetic piece of shit, can't even fucking handle yourself!" She whisper-screams to herself through tears and starts coughing roughly.
A knock at the door makes her take a frightened breath,
"Zanka?"
Enjin's voice enters the small room, and muffled worry shines through the door.
"M fine!"
Her voice cracks pathetically as she tries to deny, and Enjin opens the door, light from the outside hurting her eyes for a moment. He catches a glimpse of her stained clothes and her pink face and closes the door, opting to turn on a lamp next to her bed.
"What happened to ya, kiddo?"
His eyebrows furrow in worry as she draws her knees to her chest.
"You don't gotta worry." She mumbles as she rubs her eyes, trying to subdue the terrible feeling swirling inside her.
"Considering just how much blood is on your clothes, I think I do."
She shows newly scarred skin to him through the cut in the stomach of her outfit.
"Eishia already fixed it up."
That makes him take a breath in.
"But you're still crying, which shows that there's still a problem".
Her eyes begin to burn again. Why does every time someone points out she feels bad make her feel worse?
"Don't worry." She practically whispers, hands moving to cover her face.
"Let me word this differently. I want to help you in whatever way I can."
Shaking her head, she looks up for a second.
"Why would anyone want to help a worthless piece of shit like me?"
Enjin's eyes widen slightly, and he sits down on the bed, taking a breath and looking over at her.
"What made you feel like that, Zanka?"
She buries her head in her hands.
"I lost a fight. Again."
“Kiddo- there isn't anything wrong with losing, that just means you get to learn more."
She looks up at him.
"But I can't learn enough! Jabber- he's fucking driving me crazy. Dad- he's the voice in my head, he never leaves, I try, everything I do is to try and be good enough for him! But I can't do that! I have trained and trained, but no. I go, and I try to win- I tried so fucking hard. But it wasn't enough for him. I wasn't enough for him."
Enjin tries to talk, but Zanka starts again.
"He looked at me before he left. He seemed like he never wanted to see me again. Like he realized what I already knew. Like he found out that I was just some shitty wannabe."
“Zanka, I want you to take a breath.”
Tears begin to fall down her face again, and she wipes her nose on her sleeve.
“You don't get it.” Her voice is more defeated than anything; she makes eye contact for a moment. “Don't know who I am without him, what I would do if he left me.”
“You’re you, keep being that.”
That makes her eyes widen more, taking a breath before she starts to talk.
“But why would I want to be that? I’m just some weird unlovable piece of shit who never knows what the fuck I’m doing. I don't think I have changed any since the day I left. I don't think I can. This is all so dumb.”
“You aren't unlovable, and you’re a teenager. Every day you grow more, it just takes time.”
She sighs defeatedly and puts her head down.
“But what if I don’t grow fast enough?”
“Youre already a fast learner. If he can't wait for you, then fuck him.”
Humming, she takes a breath and tries to calm herself.
“Okay.”
“Get some sleep, you need it to start feeling better.”
He pats her hair, and she looks up at him.
Smiling softly, he pulls her into a hug, then rests his head on hers and lets her ground herself.
“Life seems really big to you right now, and that's okay, but you gotta know that losing a.. Friend, isn't the end for ya.”
“Thank you.”
He backs up and stands again, smiling tiredly at her.
“Course, now it’s four AM, seriously, girl, bedtime.”
She nods and lies back. He walks over to the door and looks back for a moment before opening it and speaking.
“We love you, Zanka.”
She takes a breath and smiles, and that's enough for him.