Chapter Text
The cold that seemed mild at first now numbed your face and limbs with each passing second. What extra heat you had absorbed from the everlasting hearth in the center of your camp, had long since gone as you perched on a creaky tree branch high above the frosted ground.
You sighed, watching your warm breath turn to vapor and spiral into the air. Your (e/c) orbs lazily watched as the vibrant golds and oranges of the upcoming sunrise expelled the deep indigos and ebony blues of the previous night away.
From your high up point of view, you could see nearly everything. Even the slow moving forms of titans in the distance. If you squinted hard enough you could see the smudge of grey on the faraway horizon that were the large walls that encircled what you thought to be more humans like yourself. Why they chose to live inside and act like titan bait was beyond you. Maybe it was safer...
No.
You shook your head to dispel your mind of the thought. You couldn't think like that. Raven would have your head if you even suggested leaving for the Walls. Not like you would anyways, preferring your limitless freedom and lack of rules instead of the idea of restricted living space. The closest thing you had to rules was the stoic woman named Raven who created a small society, if you could even call it that, of lone survivors much like yourself. The woman had set a mere three rules to keep everyone from ripping each others throats out and have a somewhat civil community. They were simple and expected to be followed to their fullest extent;
1. Don't fall in love
2. Expect to die
3. Don't kill your comrades
The first two were beyond easy to follow, but the third one, not so much. Already three of you were killed this month over dwindling supplies by a man named Anthony Tropianska. Why Raven hadn't killed this man puzzled everyone greatly.
Maybe it was because he was a direct pipeline to goods from inside the walls, or perhaps his people would notice him missing. He was in fact, an Insider himself, and that caused many problems within Raven's small group. You despised the man, if you were being honest. He murdered your friends because apparently Raven's little rules didn't apply to him since he belonged elsewhere.
Robyn, Fischer, and Thrush were now dead because of him. It wasn't like you were that close to the three boys, but it still hit a nerve when Anthony had claimed he was "just defending himself" and then got to walk free of punishment.
That wasn't the only reason why you hated him, oh no not all. The real reason why you held an unimaginable amount of hatred for him was because he had chosen you to "prove those military bastards wrong" and forced you to develop as a skilled killer. You had no idea why he had favored you over the eight other members of your small group and who and why he needed to prove a point to these "military bastards". You were the smallest one, standing at 5'1.
It wasn't like you had a choice to become this type of person, but if you refused to follow any command from Anthony you were denied food for days on end with additional brutal beatings until you submitted to his will.
This made you wary and nervous of any individual who approached you, not sure what their intentions were with you. To say that Anthony had scarred you was an understatement. You became suspicious of everyone, lashed out when touched, and the refusal to listen to any authority other than Anthony's, and much more came to be. Your small amount of trust that you did own was only placed in one lucky boy named Thomas, who was the equivalent of the world to you.
You sighed and broke off the endless train of your thoughts and blinked. You had no idea how long you've been sitting there, lost in your head in the quiet forest. Probably not long since the sun still cast a few pretty streaks of gold in the sky. You blew warm air on your fingers to warm them from the deep chill that had settled inside your bones. You shivered, your ears perking up at the sudden loud CRACK that echoed through the silent forest.
"Shit!" The voice of a very unhappy male shouted, disrupting the peaceful silence.
The ends of your lips twitched into an almost-smile and turned to face the other side of the woods. Thomas was gripping the side of his face in pain as his other hand held on to a flimsy branch. His legs dangled in the air after landing on a faulty branch as he jumped from tree to tree, the preferred way to travel inside the woodlands when you didn't have the luxury of using 3D Maneuvering Gear.
The boy's thin, uncovered eye met your own (e/c) ones and gave you a glare.
"A little help here would be nice, (F/n)." He growled at you, his legs swinging around to find a foothold on the brittle tree.
Amused, you stood from your perch, your joints cracking and popping at your abrupt motions, and went to help your friend.
You had to climb down a few feet to be able to reach him from the flimsy tree he held onto for dear life, and held out your hand.
He brought his hand away from his eye and gripped your extended limb and leaped across the small space dividing the two of you and pulled himself up next to you.
"Fuck," he swore again, his fingers lightly tapping underneath his eye. "Is it bleeding?"
You rolled your eyes and swatted away his hand and took a peek. There was a scratch beneath Thomas's eye but no blood, just an angry red line that extended from the far side of his eye and ended near his nose.
"No," you said, lightly touching the scratch. "Just a red mark."
Thomas snorted and turned his head to gaze into the endless sea of green like you had been doing before he arrived.
"What are you doing here (F/n)?" He asked.
You shrugged. "I could ask you the same thing Thomas."
Thomas rolled his eyes and scratched under his chin, his fingers smudging a new line of dirt on his pale skin.
"I was looking for you, since you left camp pretty early this morning," he said, meeting your gaze again. "I wouldn't want you to get eaten by a bear or something."
You snorted, a crooked half grin pulling at Thomas's lips. Even if the two of you lived in what could be compared to hell itself, he still found ways to make you both smile.
"Death by bear," you snickered. "would not be the way I would die."
Thomas chuckled and pushed back his shaggy black hair. "Yeah, whatever."
He let out a puff of air and let his eyes wander to the grey smudge against the horizon. A spark of curiosity, one that could land you in some deep trouble, entered his black, bottomless irises and he leaned forward, as if he were about to sprout wings and fly off.
"Hey (F/n)?" Thomas hummed, his eyes never leaving the grey walls. "Do you ever think what it would be like to be an Insider?"
Not surprised in the slightest by his question, the boy having an unquenchable thirst for knowledge, you shook your head, a lie leaving your lips as you spoke.
"Nope."
"Not even a little?" Thomas asked, his head tilting to the side in disbelief.
You sighed and rolled your (e/c) orbs at the black haired boy.
"If Raven heard you, she'd feed you to the titans."
"Yeah, but she isn't here, is she?" Thomas grumbled, his eyes drifting down to a loose string on his worn cloak. It was quiet before he mumbled out another scentence.
"I don't believe you (F/n)."
"What?" You said, your eyebrow raising in confusion at the boy.
"I don't believe that you haven't thought about leaving this place, (F/n)."
Your eyebrows scrunched up in puzzlement. "Wha-"
"It's not that hard to tell," Thomas interjected.
"You think no one's watching you after you've been with Anthony and Raven. The way you try not to cry after they hurt you and scream at you all day. I notice you wanting to run and never look back, (F/n)."
Shocked, you only stared at the boy, your eyes blank and taking on a colder look and a swelling pocket of anger forming inside you as Thomas mentioned your endless torture.
"You're wrong," you muttered, a spark of determination to convince your friend that you weren't suffering.
"Am I really, (F/n)?" Thomas persisted, his tone harsh.
You glared at the boy, the look you gave him normally deterring people away from you, yet he glared back, unaffected.
"Why (F/n)?" he hissed. "Why can't we leave?"
You bit your lip in anger, the ever-growing bubble of rage that grew inside you suddenly popping.
"Because this is the best it's gonna get, Thomas! We're going to fucking die anyway, and I don't see the point of living in walls surrounded by titans!"
The boy next to you widened his eyes in surprise at your outburst, your normaly placid features cracking away as you yelled. You continued your rant, not caring if Thomas had something to say.
"It's not like we can escape our deaths by leaving, Thomas. People are still going to keep dying and the titans will still keep coming! Hell, how do you even know if living with Insiders could be better? P-plus, Anthony..."
The angry spark that erupted within you dwindled down to nothing as you saw the slight hurt in Thomas's eyes.
"You're right," he whispered. "Sorry I said anything."
You both said nothing, choosing to drop the subject and sit in silence, your mind screaming at you for yelling at, what could be comsidered your only friend.
"Sorry I yelled." You whispered, keeping your gaze locked on your swinging shoes, the greenery below you quiet as ever.
"It's fine, (F/n)," Thomas said, placing a hand on your shoulder. "I understand."
You shrugged, obviously not thrilled at your sudden outburst, and let his hand slip off your shoulder.
"We should head back before anyone notices."
Thomas nodded, the two of you slowly making your way back to camp with heavy hearts.