Humanity's Worst Singer

by redolentred, redolentred_drabbles (redolentred)

Summary:

This is my greatest mission to date.

Notes:

• For LuccaBear.

This is a congratulations of sorts to my friend!

The fic is inspired by this video. It will likely make more sense if you watch it. It's highly humorous ;).

This is my greatest mission to date.

Erwin clears his throat and sound flows out. He fishes for the right pitch as unusually large, blonde eyebrows thread together in focus.

The ball clears the first hurdle.

A little higher now. Adjust your technique, soldier.

The ball clears the second hurdle.

"Miiii, miii, MI-" A dry cough interrupts him. "Miiii, MIII!"

The ball clears the third hurdle.

It'll only get harder from here.

"SOOO, SoOoO- s-SO, SOO-!" His voice wavers and his body retaliates, coughing. "SO! SO!"

Another hurdle bested. He must forge on.

Erwin screams out— nay, rages, "LAA, LAA- LAA!!!" It shreds his voice, but humanity is counting on him. He grips his tired throat and shrieks, "LAA, LAAAAAAAAAA!"

The ball flies over the wooden gate.

"TI!! TIIIIIIIII!!!" Somebody call for tea?

But it's not good enough. He needs to aim higher.

Is this the feeling of true despair? Bested by a TikTok minigame?

At last, the final hurdle.

Erwin screams at the top of his mighty lungs, "DOOOOOOOO!"

The apartment falls still as he awaits his encore— flowers, from adoring fans, thanks to his marvelous performance.

A tiny fist bangs on the wall.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, ERWIN!"

Notes:

And then Erwin loses his voice and Levi begrudgingly makes him tea with honey and nurses him back to health. THE END!! 💜💜

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 19 of red's drabbles